Crumple Horned Plot Bunnies
By Andrew J. Talon
Disclaimer: I do not and probably never will own Harry Potter or any other copyrighted works mentioned in this story. I am not writing this for profit.
An alternative scene...
Book 7, Harry walks up to Voldemort in the clearing.
Voldemort: "You came? Willingly?"
Harry: "Yeah. Look, Tom, I know you've been eager to murder me for eighteen years, but I really need to get some stuff off my chest first."
Voldemort: scowl "What? Some kind of plot? Ploy?"
Harry: "No, nothing like that. I literally have no more cards to play. I just think maybe you could wait a little longer before killing me, just so I can talk some stuff out with you. It's not much to ask, right?"
Voldemort: "Well... All right. Talk!"
Harry: "We've both been pawns of Dumbledore, all this time. And I talked with a therapist-a mind healer-about this stuff, and she said that because of how I was raised, any authority figure that showed me any affection or affirmation became unassailable in my mind. No matter how abusive they were. You know, like Stockholm syndrome."
Voldemort: "Yes... He used us both, Harry. I agree with that."
Some time later... Harry is crying next to Voldemort, both in conjured chairs, as Voldemort pats Harry on the back.
Harry: "She just-She just kisses him! Right after he bloody abandoned us! I finally figured out that I loved her, and she drops me for that ginger pillock!"
Voldemort: "There there, Harry. She probably just has terrible taste in men in general. Can't be helped. She's a Muggleborn, after all."
Harry: sobs "She stood by me when no one else would! Except starting last year! What the fuck?!"
Voldemort: nods "What about that Weasley girl?"
Harry: "Oh, that was just issues with my mum talking. I realized that I confused the desire for a little sister with wanting female affection and love in general. I really want a family, ya know? So that means I'll put up with almost anything just to feel loved! So I'll miss true love entirely!"
Voldemort: "Wow. I know exactly how you feel. Bellatrix loves me, but she's a crazy bitch. She keeps trying to dose me with love potions, she never leaves me alone, she watches me sleep-Who does that?! But I can't just tell her to bugger off because she's one of my most loyal followers! But it turns out Myrtle was madly in love with me! And I killed her!"
Harry: sniffle "That's rough, buddy."
Later still, Harry is now drinking coffee while Voldemort is smoking a cigarette and the other Death Eaters just stare.
Voldemort: "I never wanted to be a Dark Lord! All I wanted to do was teach children how to use magic in amazing, dark ways! And Dumbledore turned me down-Twice! Despite me being the best candidate for the job!"
Harry: "He probably thought you'd raise up an army to take over. Though honestly, why didn't you just do that before all the... Snake stuff? You were really popular in school. Head Boy, top of your class, charismatic?"
Voldemort: sigh "Dumbledore, again. I mean, okay, I murdered a girl to become immortal. Dumbledore didn't stop Grindlewald from murdering millions because he was his ex-boyfriend! We've all got skeletons in our closets!"
Harry: sad laugh "Maybe he did it because you did that in his school. Took it personally."
Voldemort: laughs "HA! You're probably right! He had such an unhealthy obsession with that place!"
Harry: "To be fair, we can't really talk."
Voldemort: "Yeah, yeah..."
Even laterer...
Harry: deep breath "Honestly Tom? I feel a lot better about everything. I mean, I still feel bad about dying and all but... Ya know, I can accept it if it saves my friends."
Voldemort: "You've shown incredible wisdom, here at the end. I actually feel a lot better. You know, maybe I can build a better Wizarding World! No more genocide and madness! Maybe I can become a true force for good!"
Harry: "... Really?"
Voldemort: "No. But I'll at least kill that Weasley prat for stealing your girl, how's that?"
Harry: shrugs "It's something, I guess. Thanks Tom."
Voldemort: "You're most welcome, Harry. Avada Kedavra!"
