Chapter Six: The Realm's Delight


A/N: This was meant to be a bit of a "filler" chapter but uh, it got wildly out of control. Please note that this chapter is a solid M rating for a sex scene.


It was just before Elyana's first name-day that Demelza received a letter: Princess Rhaenyra was to visit Starfall. The letter was not written as though it was asking for Demelza's permission to come and see her, but rather a statement of fact. Rhaenyra had never been to Dorne, which made Demelza certain that, after over a year of ignoring her letters, the Princess had decided to come and visit Demelza in person.

Darius was warily pleased. It had been at his suggestion that Demelza had first been fostered in King's Landing, and the knowledge that the heir to the throne was visiting them instead of the mighty Martells in Sunspear was pleasing to him. Of course, Westeros wanted little to do with most of Dorne, considering Prince Qoren's position on the Stepstones matter. This would not be a political visit, but a personal one.

Had Rhaenyra missed her? Demelza rather spitefully hoped so. Life in Starfall had not been unpleasant, but it had been so quiet and dull compared to King's Landing. A few times a week, Demelza would join Calix in the training yard and he would thoroughly beat her with either a sword or a bow. She began to think there were few who truly could compete with Calix.

Lindon was often in Sunspear. Her brother had become quite the courtier in Demelza's absence. Corrina had returned to Parchments in the stormlands not too long after Elyana's birth, though she wrote often to see how her niece was faring. Allydia, once learning of the Princess's impending arrival, fell into a flurry of preparation. The Lady of Starfall was nothing if not a perfectionist in her meticulous planning.

The day before the royal party was due to arrive, Demelza went to her favourite place on the island, the southernmost point where the white sands met with the waters of the Torentine. As the sun set over the island, sending pale lilac and soft pink across the Summer Sea beyond, Demelza found that the peace did not soothe her, but rather made restless.

Elyana crawled happily across the sand, squealing in delight when the cool water lapped against her toes. Demelza smiled as she watched her daughter, scooping Elyana into her arms and kissing the top of her dark hair. The baby had not quite learned to walk yet, though she could pull herself into a standing position, and took every opportunity to crawl throughout the castle.

She greatly favoured Demelza's appearance, who was relieved that the only indication of Elyana's father lay in her olive skin tone. Not quite as dark as Criston's, yet certainly darker than Demelza's own porcelain complexion.

"My beloved niece loves the water." Calix strode along the shore, hands clasped behind his back as he walked over to where Demelza sat on the sand. "The few times I've put her in the bath, she shrieks and splashes all about the place."

Demelza couldn't help but smile. "I wonder if that's something else she gets from me. How did you find me here?"

"Your secret spot is not as secret as you think." Calix sat down beside her with a satisfied sigh, stretching out his long limbs. "You didn't show up for our training this afternoon. I thought I might find you here. I come here often, too."

"Perhaps I'm tired of having my ass thrown to the ground."

Demelza busied herself extricating a shell from Elyana's tiny hands before the baby could try and put it in her mouth. In truth, she loved the training sessions. Having her muscles burn and feeling the cool sheen of sweat that covered her body made her feel good, like she was doing something productive. She would never be the sort of warrior that Calix was, but she could at least land a blow against the fresh young knights.

"We both know that isn't true. This is because of the Princess, isn't it?"

Demelza heaved a frustrated sigh. Before she had left King's Landing, it had not just been her clandestine relationship with Criston that had been on her mind. Since she and Rhaenyra had kissed, the memory had burned bright in her memory, making her certain that her attraction to the Princess had not been a fleeting moment brought about by mulled wine.

"We kissed. Rhaenyra and I. It feels like a long time ago now. I doubt she thinks about it the same way that I do."

Calix nodded slowly. In Dorne, taking paramours of the same sex was not unheard of, and they both knew Lindon favoured both men and women equally. Demelza had been in a fog of confusion, uncertain if she had just been a young girl experimenting with her sexuality. She was barely seventeen now, though she had grown much since having a child of her own. What she felt for Rhaenyra may not be as strong as her bond with Criston, but it existed, and ignoring it only bled into frustration.

"Are you worried about what happened, with her coming here?"

"I don't think she would even recall it." Demelza shrugged her shoulders. "We had some wine. I think it means nothing to her. Westeros is not the same as here, Calix. Women do not take other women as lovers."

Calix remained in contemplative silence, dark eyes casting out over the water. After a moment, he smiled down at his niece, reaching across to take Elyana into his arms. The baby made some inquisitive noises before settling, coaxing a smile to Demelza's own lips. Calix had proved a fine caretaker for little Elyana, who adored both him and Valko.

"So then what are you worried about, Demelza?"

"Something resurfacing," Demelza murmured, for she knew who came with Rhaenyra. Criston Cole was practically the Princess's personal guard. Seeing him again, after he had broken her heart and rejected the child that Calix now held, was almost too much to bear. Yet she would, for she would not be disgraced and undignified because of choices she and Criston had made together. If he wanted to be ashamed, he would do so alone.

Calix, thankfully, did not press the matter. Demelza was grateful for the lack of interrogation, a skill that Lindon seemed yet to learn. He might be the politician of the family, yet he pestered incessantly. Calix eased himself to his feet, propping Elyana in one arm.

"Come. If you won't train, you should at least eat something."

Demelza wriggled her toes in the sand. Had this not been what she had wished for? A respite from the constant tranquillity of Starfall, a spark of something more in her life again? Guilt squirmed in her stomach at the thought. She would not find acceptance in Westeros, not in the way her family had accepted her condition and then Elyana without question. Perhaps that was what drove her: knowing it was a challenge, knowing her life would not be easy there.

Perhaps that made her bold, or perhaps that made her stupid. She had not yet quite decided.


When the royal party arrived, Demelza made sure that she looked resplendent. She did not feel it, having dealt with Elyana waking early, but her glossy hair was piled atop her head and she dressed all in deep plum with silver accents. She held Elyana close as she strode into the hall, fearing the reaction that seeing her bastard child might have upon not only Rhaenyra, but Criston.

"Demelza." Rhaenyra looked stunning as ever, her silver-blonde hair cascading down her back. She was dressed in the Targaryen colours of red and black, a smile adorning her lips as she faced her friend, one that did not fade when she examined the baby in Demelza's arms. Elyana quietly played with her mother's hair, as if sensing Demelza's uncertainty.

"Princess Rhaenyra." Demelza forced a smile. "It's wonderful to see you here in Dorne."

"Is this your daughter?" Rhaenyra crossed over to examine Elyana more closely. Over her shoulder, Demelza noted how Criston had frozen, an expression of astonishment on his face. She offered him a vindictive smile in return. He had not changed over the past year and a half, and was irritatingly no less handsome.

"Yes. Her name is Elyana Sand." Demelza stroked her daughter's dark hair, a wave of pride surging through her. People like Otto Hightower would want her to feel mortified at introducing her bastard child, would expect that she would stuff Elyana away somewhere the world would not see her. Yet Demelza knew for certain that her daughter's place was at Starfall, with her family.

"She is beautiful." Rhaenyra smiled, though Demelza knew that she had little interest in children herself. "Perhaps we might walk together, Demelza? There is much I think we have missed in the past year."

"Of course." Demelza was wary about what Rhaenyra might want. Was this purely a social visit, or something more? She held Elyana close, the little girl's fingers curling tight in her mother's hair.

"Ser Criston, would you accompany us?"

Demelza's stomach twisted unpleasantly, but she kept her composure in front of her family and Rhaenyra's entourage. Of course, the Princess was one of the few who knew the truth of Elyana's heritage, and Demelza did not think it accidental that Criston accompanied her to Dorne, nor that he had been asked to join them now. Unease prickled along her spine as she led Rhaenyra and Criston out into one of the gardens that overlooked the Summer Sea.

"How is Queen Alicent?" Demelza asked politely, settling on the grass and propping Elyana in her lap.

"She is well." Rhaenyra's smile was strained now. "She and my father have recently welcomed a son. Aegon II. He is only a few months younger than Elyana."

A wedding night babe then, or close enough to. Demelza had chosen her own future, but Alicent had not. She pitied her friend, but would not say so aloud when Rhaenyra's jaw was tense. Viserys had a son now, and the weight of that was not lost on either Demelza or Rhaenyra.

"Was it you, Rhaenyra?" The time for honeyed words and dancing their conversation around the truth was at an end. "Did you tell Ser Otto who Elyana's father was?"

"Of course I didn't." Rhaenyra's tone was scandalised, her brow furrowing. "Is that why you haven't been returning my letters? You thought I was the one who said something? Demelza, I would never. I was shocked when I found out he had sent you back to Dorne."

"Well, someone said something." Demelza's accusatory gaze flicked to Criston, who had been determinedly avoiding looking at her and Elyana. "Perhaps someone with a guilty conscience."

Criston's jaw tightened. "I said nothing."

Could it have been Alicent? Demelza had harboured suspicions that her other best friend had overheard the conversation between her and Rhaenyra. Alicent had expressed disdain about Demelza's choices in the past, so she supposed it would not have been a complete surprise if Alicent had mentioned the baby's father to Otto.

It did not escape Demelza's attention that despite his attempts to remain indifferent, Criston's gaze was consistently drawn to Elyana, now crawling through the grass. Rhaenyra noticed it too, glancing between the baby's parents.

"Criston wanted to come, Demelza." Her voice was soft, and she reached out a hand to rest it on Demelza's shoulder. "He wanted to meet his daughter."

"Well, he didn't care much for her when I was pregnant with her," Demelza snapped, shrugging Rhaenyra off. She didn't know if she was more irate at the idea that Criston and Rhaenyra were having such personal conversations when she wasn't there, or at the fact that all of a sudden, Criston showed an interest in his daughter.

"Why don't you let him hold her?" Rhaenyra persisted.

Demelza's contempt outweighed her compassion. "No."

"This is the one place you both won't be judged." Irritation flared in Rhaenyra's eyes. "Back at King's Landing, you would be shunned and shamed. We all know that if there's a time and a place for this, it's here."

"Fine." Demelza had known Rhaenyra for years, and knew she was too stubborn to let this go. She gestured for Criston to take a seat beside her on the grass. "Sit."

She took comfort in how awkward it was for Criston to sit in his armour. Demelza called her daughter's name and, curious, Elyana crawled back over to her mother. When Demelza picked her up, she noted the tenderness in Criston's dark eyes as he observed his child. Part of her wanted nothing more than for them to be a happy family, regardless of the fact that it was living in a bubble of fantasy.

Criston was a member of the Kingsguard. No matter if he loved his daughter, no matter what he felt for her, his duty was to the crown. It had been that duty for which he had forsaken her, and she did not think even in meeting Elyana, he would be prone to changing his mind.

"Do you even want to hold her?"

"She's my daughter." Criston responded, his voice trembling with emotion as his eyes remained fixed on Elyana.

Though reluctant, Demelza handed over Elyana. The child was immediately astounded by Criston's armour, tiny hands pressing and poking at it. Criston stared down at his daughter with undisguised love, and it twisted at Demelza like a knife. It would have been far easier if he did not care for Elyana at all. Instead he adored her, and yet he could not be the father that Elyana needed.

Demelza bit down hard on her lip and blinked away sudden tears. Rhaenyra and Criston's arrival was suddenly more difficult than she had anticipated, and it was not because of the fact that Criston didn't care, but because he did. She watched how he gently stroked Elyana's dark hair back, the tender kiss he placed to the top of her head.

This was a man who loved his child, but her heart broke all over again, knowing that love would never be enough. Not for him, not for her. His duty transcended that love, because without it, he felt he was nothing. Demelza and Elyana could never bring him the honour he sought, but only the shame he wished to avoid.

Perhaps Criston had ruined Demelza, in the eyes of Westeros and their many prejudices against women. In sullying her, she was tainted. A whore. But perhaps in turn, she had ruined him, because in bearing his daughter, she had ripped his still-beating heart from his chest and held it in the palm of her hand. Part of them would always belong to each other, and the cause was the tiny child who shrieked in delight at her father's attention.

Wiping her eyes, Demelza lurched to her feet and marched out of the garden. She ignored both Rhaenyra and Criston calling her name, leaving Elyana to experience her father's love without her mother's agony over how bittersweet it was.


The sun was just dipping below the horizon when a sharp rap on Demelza's door drew her from her miserable isolation. She had permitted Criston the afternoon with his daughter, not wanting to impose the shadow of her presence upon them. When she opened the door, Criston stood there alone. She blinked in surprise, taking in the white shirt and simple pants he'd exchanged his Kingsguard armour for.

"Where is Elyana?"

"With your parents." Criston raked his fingers through his dark hair. "I had hoped we could speak privately. Maybe we could go for a walk."

Demelza nodded curtly. As much as she wanted nothing more than to avoid Criston after how he had treated her when she had announced her pregnancy to him, she could see that he was harbouring some regrets. Curiosity overrode her spite, and she took Criston's arm. The two descended the spiral stairs down the back of the castle and wandered down to the beach in tense silence.

The sun had well and truly sunk beneath the water by the time Demelza led Criston to her favourite spot on the beach. Perhaps it would have been wiser to keep such a personal place to herself, and yet she found herself wanting to share it with him. As the sky darkened, Demelza and Criston sat on the sand, watching the waves lap against the shore.

"I had forgotten how beautiful Dorne is." Criston leaned back to observe the ocean with rapt attention. "It's been years since I visited it, and I've never been to Starfall. I'd heard rumours about the views, but they pale in comparison with the truth."

"Criston." Demelza's eyes narrowed as she stared him down. "I don't want to make small talk. Not after everything we've been through. You wanted to talk, so this is your chance to say your piece."

"I thought I could put it all behind me." Criston exhaled deeply, his voice hitching as he spoke. "I was harsh with you. It wasn't fair of me to tell you that you should give the baby up, and now that I've met Elyana…I know that I made a mistake."

"No, you made a choice," Demelza reminded him, pushing herself not to feel sympathy for him despite the fact that her heart fluttered at his words, "You chose the Kingsguard. I do not begrudge you that. What you and I had…it was passionate and it was a time I will never reject, but my father always says that the brightest stars burn out the fastest. Maybe that was what happened with us."

"I'm in love with you." The choked words made her pause as she examined him, searching his face for any trace of embellishment and finding nothing but the earnest torment of a man fighting a battle between his head and his heart. She inhaled the sharp scent of sea salt and bitterness.

"Criston, you can't say that."

"Why not?" he demanded. "It's the truth. I wrestled with it for a long time, Demelza. I thought maybe it was just desire, what was between us. But when you left…I couldn't stop thinking about you. You never resented me for casting you and Elyana aside. You were so practical about it, and you were only fifteen. I admire you. I respect you. And yes, I am in love with you."

Demelza scoffed, though she could feel her hard edges softening. "Because I'm Elyana's mother?"

"Because you were real and vulnerable with me from the beginning." Criston caught her hand in his, and Demelza's breath hitched as she stared into his eyes. "You told me what you wanted. Freedom. So many people at court…they aren't like that. They keep their cards close to their chest."

Demelza smiled ruefully. "Well, they're probably smarter than me for doing so."

Criston took her face in his hands and kissed her. The suddenness of the move surprised Demelza for a moment, before she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed back. This was not King's Landing, with prying eyes just waiting for them to fall. It was Starfall, with the dimness of evening wrapping around them like a comforting cloak, leaving them to their privacy.

There was a desperation in the way that Criston kissed her, one of his hands leaving her face to wind through her dark hair and pull her closer. To alleviate the awkwardness of the angle, Demelza straddled his lap, fingers brushing against the hair at the nape of his neck and her body pressing closer against his. She heard the way his breath caught in his throat, and a smirk crossed her lips.

"We shouldn't," she murmured, running her hands beneath his shirt to touch the bare skin of his chest and making him groan softly.

"Do you want me to stop?" Criston asked, kissing her neck and resting a hand on her lower back to pull her tighter against him. Demelza could feel how hard his cock was through his pants and she shivered in delight.

"No."

Criston flipped them so she was pinned beneath him on the sand. He kissed his way down her neck, across her collarbone. Demelza writhed as his hands moved to unlace the front of her dress. Her body had changed since she'd had Elyana. Her hips were wider, her breasts fuller. A shapely figure, she supposed someone like Septa Gwenefer would have said. She was no longer as slender, though she found she did not mind her curves.

Criston did not seem to mind them either, judging by the way he fondled her breasts through the fabric of her dress. When he slipped a hand beneath the silk to toy with her nipple, she gasped and wriggled. A heat burned deep within her that his hands on her body alone couldn't satisfy.

"The sunset in Starfall is meant to be beautiful," Criston said, voice ragged with lust as he ran a hand up her leg, "But you are still the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

Impatience coursed through Demelza, and she reached down to hike her dress up her legs. Taking the hint, Criston undid his pants, leaning down to kiss her sensually. Demelza wrapped her legs around his waist, a gasp escaping from between her lips as his cock slid into her. For a moment he was still, sweeping her dark hair back from her face with gentle fingers.

Demelza let her head fall back as Criston started to thrust. The stars were sparkling overhead in the deep purple sky, evening not yet faded into night. Criston buried his face in the crook of her neck, muffling his groans as his movements became faster. Demelza rocked her hips against him, more experienced and sure in this than she had been when they had first become lovers. Criston tugged the front of her dress down, baring her breasts to the cool air.

"Criston…" His name was like a plea on her lips. They would never have more than these stolen moments, and yet she relished them all the same. His mouth descended on her nipples, making her writhe in pleasure, fisting a hand in his dark hair and arching her back. His thrusts became harder and more erratic, his breathing shallow and fast.

Demelza's moans increased in volume. In King's Landing, she had always tried to stifle her pleasure, worried that she and Criston would be overheard and interrupted. Here at Starfall, she made no attempt to hold back, raking her nails down Criston's back as he sucked at her neck. He caught her legs and lifted them higher, a dizzy tightness tugging at the pit of Demelza's stomach, a pressure that built within her.

Criston whispered her name like a reverent prayer, his thrusts hard and fast. Demelza's cries of pleasure resonated across the beach as the pressure finally burst and her orgasm pulsed through her. Criston followed moments later with a loud groan, spilling himself inside her as she held him close against her.

For a few moments, their mingled breathing was the only sound against the chirp of cicadas, before Criston rolled off her, flopping on his back beside her. Demelza sat up, sweeping her hair back and using her fingers to comb the sand out of it, lacing up the front of her dress as Criston observed her.

"So what happens now?" she asked breathlessly.

Criston frowned, easing himself up. "What do you mean?"

"With us. With raising Elyana."

"Rhaenyra and I hoped that you would accompany us back to King's Landing."

Demelza smirked. "Oh, yes. I'm certain Ser Otto would love that."

Criston's brow furrowed. "Demelza, I'm serious."

She lapsed into silence. She ached for King's Landing, a far cry from the serenity of Starfall. There was danger there, whispers circulating in every corner, but somehow she found herself craving it. Perhaps, like her illicit affair with Criston, she wanted things that would only hurt her in the end.

"I couldn't bring Elyana to King's Landing. You know that."

It would be a slap in the face to bring a bastard child to court, an insult in the eyes of the Targaryens and their inner circle. Otto, certainly, would never allow it. If Demelza returned to King's Landing, she would have to leave her daughter behind in Starfall. She surmised that may not be so bad. When the girl was older and the rumour mill about Demelza's absence had subsided, she would bring Elyana to court. She could think of no better people to provide for Elyana than her family.

"You have an important role there." Criston observed her with an intensity that brought heat to her cheeks. "I love our daughter, and in the years to come, allowances could be made for her at court. But the situation with Dorne is tense with the Stepstones conflict. Rhaenyra would appreciate you being there."

Demelza heaved a sigh, letting her head fall back as she examined the deepening night sky. Many mothers were parted with their children, and she was fortunate to be Dornish, for if she had been Westerosi, Elyana would have been sent away the moment she was born. Demelza wanted to provide the best future she could for her child, and she did not think she could do that in Starfall.


Demelza and Criston decided to return to the castle separately. Criston first, leaving Demelza alone with her thoughts on King's Landing and on the relationship they had rekindled. She would be certain to take moon tea, for she had no intention of bearing another of Criston's children. Not yet, in any case. She did not regret Elyana, but she knew her daughter's bastard status was of contempt to those in King's Landing. She would not bring her one-year-old child to that pit of snakes.

"Do you want to explain to me exactly what is going on, Lady Demelza?"

The familiar voice was colder than she had ever heard it, and Demelza started, pressing a hand over her heart as her fingers loosened on the handle to her bedroom door. Valko stepped into the candlelight, his arms folded over his chest and an extremely displeased expression on his face. Demelza's heart hammered in her chest and she bit her lip.

"I went for a walk on the beach."

"Is that why you have sand in your hair and your dress is rumpled?" Valko's eyes narrowed and he sighed, shaking his head. "Do not take me for a fool. I saw Ser Criston Cole arrive only minutes before you."

There was no point in making more denials. Valko had observed the dynamic between Demelza and Criston in King's Landing, knew that Demelza had been frequenting a man's bed during her time there. She supposed it was only a matter of time before he made the connection between them.

"He's Elyana's father, isn't he?"

Demelza stared at her feet, tears burning in her eyes. Guilt gnawed at the pit of her stomach, for she respected Valko, and yet all she had done was continue to lie to him and sneak around behind his back.

"Yes. Please, don't…"

"Don't tell your family?" Valko stared hard at her. "You want me to lie for you? Your parents love and accept Elyana. They do not judge you or view you as a disgrace, as many in Westeros would have. Don't you think I know, better than most, what it means to be a bastard?"

There was a bitterness in his tone that startled her. She wondered what he must have experienced in King's Landing, the cruel whispers that must have been aimed at him, the snide remarks he had been subjected to. If anyone understood the disdain that Elyana would grow up with if she was in Westeros, it was Valko.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"This behaviour between you and Ser Criston…" Valko pinched the bridge of his nose. "I do not begrudge you taking a lover, Lady Demelza. You are of age now. If you choose to carry on with Criston, that is indeed your choice. But you must think of the consequences, not only for yourself, but also for Elyana."

"I am going back to King's Landing."

The words sat between them for a few moments. If Valko was stunned, his face did not betray it. Instead, he nodded slowly.

"I thought you might eventually. What about your daughter?"

"She will remain here, with my family." Demelza swallowed, ignoring the ache in her heart at the thought of being separated from her child. "Many…many women are lucky to have their bastards with them at all. Things with Dorne are tense. I do not have a powerful position in court, but with work, I could. I want to make sure that my daughter has a future, that she has choices. I would not begrudge you remaining here, with her and my family. I know how fond you are of her."

"You think I would abandon my charge to the dragon's den?" The slightest hint of a smile curved at the corners of Valko's lips. "Lady Demelza, you are impulsive and stubborn and…forgive me for saying, but more than a little self-centred. But you have a good heart beneath all of that. You try to hide it with spite, but you care. About Rhaenyra, about Criston, about Elyana."

"So you're coming back with me?" Demelza couldn't hide her bright smile. At least King's Landing would be manageable with Valko. At least she would have something of Dorne there, even if she was forsaking Dorne to venture back to the place she had grown up.

"Gods be good." Valko blew out a breath. "I am going to regret this."