"You can't seriously be thinking of leaving right now."
Wyatt turned his concerned gaze from Lucy's retreating figure back to Rufus who was leaning against the wall, arms folded, arresting him with a look that Wyatt knew was intended to make him feel as guilty as hell.
But it wasn't working.
"I am leaving." Wyatt reiterated for what he felt was the fiftieth time that evening, "Dammit, Rufus, I have to." he added as the pilot made to argue. "It's my wife . Do you know how long I've wanted this? To…to fix what happened to her?"
"What did happen to her?"
Wyatt cursed and paced slightly in the hall, uncomfortable with revisting his old demons, even less comfortable sharing them with others. Hell, he hadn't meant to reveal as much as he already had to Lucy…that had been a fluke, a mistake…a rare moment of weakness. At least, though - in thiscase, he reasoned, it wasn't Lucy who was listening…so Wyatt sighed, relenting, "She was murdered."
Bracing himself for the inevitable shocked expression and offers of sympathy, Wyatt clenched his eyes shut and continued, "I…I don't like to talk about it…because it was my fault. No, no it was," he insisted as Rufus made to argue with him. "I left her…we had a stupid fight at a bar and I left her there on the side of the damn road…and…and when I cooled off and came back for her…"
"Oh man, I'm sor…"
"Don't." Wyatt interrupted, hating sympathy he didn't deserve. "Jessica died because of me. If I hadn't…" he stopped, biting his lip and shaking his head as a wave of emotion almost overwhelmed him. "Don't you see why I have to go?" Wyatt urged desperately, "I've lived with this for five damn years…wishing I could just change that one night…and now I have. So how could I not go and," his voice was wavering now as he slunk down against the wall and sighed bitterly, "tell her…tell her how sorry I am?"
For a long while Rufus said nothing as he stood awkwardly next to Wyatt's slumped figure, frowning down at the Delta Force soldier with a mixture of sympathy and exasperation. "Wyatt, " he said finally as he crouched down on the ground beside him, "I understand, I do. I just…I think you're forgetting that in this timeline? That fight? It didn't happen. Or maybe it did..but it didn't end the same way. Your marriage, did."
At that, Wyatt turned a sharp eye towards Rufus, looking as if he were about to knock him into next week, when the pilot continued tentatively, "Listen man, for right or wrong, your marriage to Jessica is over. Don't you think it's gonna be a little weird for you to show up on her doorstep, apologizing for something that didn't even happen?
"I have to see her, Rufus." Wyatt maintained. "I love her…I have to know what happened to us. I have to try to win her back. What was the damn point of saving her if I'm not going to fight for her?"
Again, Rufus was silent, frowning as he mused over Wyatt's logic. He had never been married, hell…he hadn't really ever had a girlfriend, but he did his best to try to understand Wyatt's point of view…except that there was one thing his friend had seemed to forgotten in all of this. "What about Lucy?" Rufus asked quietly, nodding at Wyatt meaningfully.
Hardly understanding why he would even ask such a question, Wyatt scoffed as he turned to stare incredulously at Rufus. He expected something like that from Jiya - sure…because in her reality they were some God-awful cutesy couple. But Rufus? He knew better.
"What about Lucy?" Wyatt practically growled. "You don't honestly think…"
"No," Rufus assured with a shake of his head, "I know your engagement is like something out of the Twilight Zone…but Wyatt, if you are engaged to Lucy in this timeline…don't you think that…I don't know…Jessica might know about that? How the hell do you think she's going to react to you professing your undying love for her if she knows you're engaged to someone else?"
Wyatt stared back at Rufus, completely at a loss of what to say. He hadn't really thought about anyone outside of Mason knowing that he was now engaged to Lucy Preston…the whole thing just seemed so utterly ridiculous, he hadn't given it a serious thought beyond the warehouse. Rufus was right, though. If they were really engaged, they would've announced it, right? That's what people do? Or, at least, it's what people like Lucy do, anyway. But even if they hadn't officially announced it…wouldn't he have introduced her to his Delta Force friends? He would have had to, right? Somebody outside of Mason would have known about the two of them. If they had been together….living in San Diego….together…for a year.
It was crazy. He knew it was crazy. But once again, his eyes were drawn to the hallway; the space Lucy Preston had last inhabited as he forced himself to think about why he would have chosen her, of all people, to marry. He, like she, was completely blindsided by the revelation that after five years of avoiding any kind of romantic entanglements, he was now not just involved…but engaged to his co-worker of roughly 72-hours. Sure, in this timeline they had met a year or so prior to their employment, but…why her?
Hell…why anyone?
Jessica was alive. She was his one and only. The woman he had sworn to love and cherish for the rest of his life. He had saved her. He had gotten his miracle, dammit….so why the hell was he engaged to someone else? Not just someone else… Lucy? The uptight, high-strung, bossy know it all who drove him up the damn wall with her, "don't call me ma'am" and "leave your modern gun at home, Wyatt." No. Hell no. Lucy Preston was the most infuriating, stubborn ass…bossy know it all…ugh. They didn't even get along. Hell, he had hardly been civil to her in Vegas…
But he supposed, that technically wasn't her fault.
He hadn't meant to overhear…dammit, he was trying to cool down, trying to balance his commitment to the team and his obligation to do his duty…but then, Judith Campbell had to go and ask Lucy that question.
It wasn't so much the insinuation that something was going on between himself and Lucy…hell, he had lived through enough insinuations over the years with his Delta Force buddies…always trying to hook him up with random women at whatever dive they happened to be in.
This was different, though.
Judith Campbell's assumption that he was sleeping with Lucy had…well, as ridiculous as it was, hadn't entirely been all that ridiculous.
What could he say? He was red-blooded male and while he would be the first to admit that Lucy Preston annoyed the hell out of him…that damn glance at her bare back in that New Jersey jail cell three days ago had thrown him for an unexpected loop. Sure, he had asked for her bra, but he hadn't expected her to take her whole damn shirt off…but she had - right there - in front of him. So yes, Lucy Preston annoyed him, but he couldn't deny the fact that Lucy Preston was also… attractive.
If it wasn't her bra, it was her corset and bare shoulders in 1865…or a strapless barely there dress in Vegas…and yeah, he had thought about it. More than once in the past 72 hours - in a "it will never happen" kind of way. She was who she was …and he was devoted to his dead wife's memory. It would never and could never happen, but that comment… that question from Judith Campbell had…well, it had unnerved him.
Maybe it was just Lucy…in that dress…driving him absolutely crazy all damn night. Or maybe it was because Judith Campbell was right…that he waswound that damn tight and could use a good…
But that didn't explain why when he saw that rock of a ring on Lucy's finger he had felt a twinge of something he hadn't felt in a very long time. He might have teased her about it, but damn it all if it hadn't sent a jolt of panic through his heart. Panic that only subsided when she assured him she didn't even know the poor bastard's name. That damn ring, his unexpected reaction to it, that dress and Judith Campbell's not so unwelcome observation all served to fill him with enough shame, self-loathing and guilt to send him straight down to the damn lobby in search of a whiskey….
And that's when he saw the Western Union desk.
He hadn't meant to do it…he was on the clock, after all…hell, he hadn't really even believed it would actually work. He just needed, in that moment, to remind himself of Jessica and how much she meant to him and what he had done to screw that all up. He couldn't let himself be distracted by an idea …some stupid sex-starved fantasy brought about by five years of lonely desperation. What he and Jessica had was real…it was love. Real love.
Not some shallow attraction.
And that is all that he felt towards Lucy. A shallow attraction that would go nowhere.
Sure, he had overheard Judith…and yeah, maybe the thought of…well, Lucy wasn't hideous , after all…but dammit, he hardly knew her and she was bossy as hell, and…she was engaged…not to him…but to that other guy. Noah…somebody.
Hell, they weren't even from the same planet. He was West Texas, born and raised with a world class sonoabitch alcoholic as a father an absentee mother and a juvenile record that had almost… almost cost him his current gig in the Army. Lucy? Well, she was just world-class. An historian, anthropologist and published author who, like Jessica, never took his bullshit…always knocked him down a few pegs when he was getting too full of himself…and yet, somehow only thought of herself as "just a teacher."
Even now, he couldn't quite wrap his mind around that one.
Where Jessica was scrappy, loud and poor, Lucy was…well, she could be loud, but she was also classy and well-bred…and came from obvious wealth. Jessica had barely scrapped by with a high school education and worked most of her short life as a bartender, but Lucy? Lucy was an ivy-league educated woman with multiple advanced degrees and a teaching gig at one of the most prestigious universities in the whole damn country. Jessica made sense. Jessica wasn't some snot nosed, ivy-leagued, well-educated, published, West Coast elite…but neither, really, was Lucy. At least, she wasn't exactly the stuck up, academic-type Wyatt initially thought she would be. She was…funny…and smart…and kind…and way out of his league…so how the hell did he end up engaged to her?
Well, he had an inkling of how, given the meeting they had just had, but even that made absolutely no sense. Wyatt absolutely balked at the insinuation that he had not only picked up some desperate woman off the side of the road, but that he had gotten involved with a woman who was, by all rights…off limits. Fidelity meant the world to him…and dammit, he was not an asshole.
To think that he, after everything he had been through in his own damn life, would pursue some engaged woman after luring her into his car for an 8 hour drive up the coast? A drive which, if Lucy's calendar was to be believed, had obviously had them staying overnight somewhere? On Jessica's birthday too?
What the hell had other him been thinking?
Oh hell, it didn't matter anymore, he had his damn leave papers and he was going to do just that - leave. There was no reason for him stay here and live a damn lie. No reason except killing Garcia Flynn…and maybe, just maybe Bam Bam would have better luck than he had in killing that sonofabitch. Stalking past Rufus, he kicked open the exit door and took a deep breath, hardly believing that in just a few hours' time, he would be seeing Jessica – alive – for the first time in five long years. As he stood in the moonlight contemplating that fact, however, his eyes fell upon Lucy's Honda Civic, still sitting in the parking lot.
"What the hell?" he muttered, turning in confusion back towards the warehouse wondering how he could have missed Lucy slipping back inside unnoticed. He was about to go back inside in search of her, when a chance glance back over his shoulder had him reeling like a sucker punch to the gut. Lucy hadn't gone back inside….and no, she hadn't called a cab, leaving her car behind. Lucy Preston was quietly sitting behind the wheel of her car…crying.
Oh shit.
He knew…dammit, he knew despite her insistence that she was fine …she wasn't. The way she slipped past them to the exit without her usual goodbyes? The way she practically faceplanted off the stairs from the conference room? Hell, he could tell when they left that conference room that she was on the brink of cracking up. How often had he seen it in the field? The anxious, tense stares, the trembling hands, the shaking knees, the panic attacks? And really, why wouldn't she be losing it? Every single time she got in that damn time machine something happened…and it almost exclusively happened to her. Her father, her sister, her mother…that freak of a fiancé…but now… he was that freak of a fiancé, wasn't he?
And this time, it wasn't because of that asshole Garcia Flynn. No, no, this time…it was his fault. He had done this to her . To… them .
He didn't want to…but he couldn't help but stare at her, her head leaning back against the headrest while silent tears streamed down her face. He didn't like seeing her cry…hell, it had almost eaten him up to see her so upset and covered in blood after Lincoln's assassination. She had gotten a front row seat to one of the most horrifying moments in American history, had clearly been traumatized…and all he could do was sit there and hold her hand when what she really needed was a damn hug…and probably some therapy.
Those tears, however, were because of Flynn. Because of Lincoln. These tears? Wyatt knew - were because of him. He screwed up her timeline…again. And had he apologized to her for this? No. Instead, he had acted like this was somehow everyone else's fault. It was his telegram that had thrown this monkey wrench into their lives…it wasn't Flynn or Mason or Agent Christopher…or even Jiya who had created this new timeline…it was him.
All him.
And yet, did Lucy throw him under the bus and tell Agent Christopher and Mason what he had done? No. She covered for him, like the kind, selfless person she was.
Oh hell, he was an ass.
He had just determined that he would march over to her car and apologize for screwing up her life when she suddenly sat forward in her seat and began wiping her eyes. Feeling self-conscious and absolutely not wanting her to catch him staring at her like some damn creep, Wyatt ducked his head down and made a beeline for his Jeep hoping to hell she hadn't seen him.
Not even glancing towards her car, Wyatt unlocked his Jeep and slid behind the wheel feeling almost like he was hiding as he fumbled with his leave papers on the passenger side seat. He would go straight to the airport - he always kept a go bag in his trunk for emergencies – so all he needed to do was drive the short distance to the airport, buy himself a ticket on the first flight to San Diego and get the hell away from this all of this.
But even as he jammed his keys in the ignition, he couldn't bring himself to start his damn car. A chance glance in the rearview had him seeing her…Lucy…eyes red and puffed from crying, staring at the back of his Jeep as if she were trying to drill a hole through it. He should've gotten out…talked to her…apologized for inadvertently screwing up her timeline…but for all his Delta Force reputation for courage, Wyatt found that in facing Lucy…he was a damn coward.
"I'm going to see Jessica" Wyatt gritted out to nobody in particular…and with that, he turned the key in his ignition, revved his engine….and drove away.
"Hey Mom…I'm home."
Exhausted - mentally and emotionally, Lucy dragged herself through her mother's front door, grateful that this time there wasn't a party on the other side of it. As the door swung closed behind her, Lucy carelessly unloaded her scarf and bag on the coat hook in the hall and trudged heavily towards the kitchen. Her head was pounding from her stupid bout of crying and while she knew a Tylenol would be a much smarter option than a large glass of wine (or two) she found that at this particular moment, she just didn't give a damn.
She wanted to get drunk… the headache could just wait until morning.
Carol Preston was already in the kitchen, perched on her favorite bar stool, furiously typing away on her laptop and seemingly oblivious to Lucy's presence. That is, until her daughter tugged on her headphones with a smirk, "Writing another book?" she asked playfully.
Lucy expected her mother to make a comment about her late arrival – a habitual occurrence these days. She expected her mother to lecture her about giving up her teaching position at Stanford to work odd hours for the eccentric billionaire Connor Mason. She expected her mother to comment on her casual appearance – jeans and a sweater, hardly the look of a professional for the "office." What she didn't expect was for her mother to gape at her in shock as she pulled her headphones off completely and slid off her barstool. "Lucy?!" Carol gasped, "I can't believe you're here…."
There it was. The passive aggressive, "your new job and its crazy hours" diatribe. "Look, I know my schedule has been a bit crazy…" Lucy began, but Carol was apparently more put out than Lucy had imagined.
"I think that's a bit of an understatement, don't you?" Carol admonished, crossing her arms over her chest. "Do you even know how long it's been since I've seen you?"
"Mom,' Lucy groaned. "I know. I know…and believe me, I hate it too. But I don't have a choice…this job…"
"Oh this job ." Carol snapped. "Don't blame the job, Lucy…you know very well that this all started when you met that…that Walter."
Lucy balked, half thinking she had yet another fiancé. "Wh…What…who is Walter ?"
Once again, Carol admonished her with a look, "Don't play dumb with me, Lucy. You know how much I hate your games when I'm trying to be serious." She breezed past her to circle the kitchen island where she flung open the fridge angrily and pulled out a Snickers bar. "You left Stanford to lecture in San Diego, you called off your engagement to Noah, you threw your entire life's work away…all because of that…that man."
Lucy gaped at her mother, hardly understanding her before realization suddenly settled in, "You…are you talking about Wyatt ?"
"Wyatt…Walter…what's the difference?" Carol shrugged as she ripped open her chocolate bar. "The point is, I told you he would break your heart…that men like him don't settle down…and now look at you…" shaking her head and frowning at her she took her daughter's face in her hands and caressed her face, "you've been crying."
"Mom," Lucy groaned as she wrenched her face out of her mother's hands. "I just…I had a bad day, that's all."
"So why are you here ?" Carol asked pointedly, "Shouldn't you be with him ?" Lifting Lucy's left hand, she tutted, "No ring, I see. What, did you two have a fight?"
"What?" Lucy gaped awkwardly, "No…no..I…I just…I must have…"
"Oh Lucy, you don't have to pretend with me, okay?" she urged. "You came here for a reason, what is it, sweetheart?"
Lucy's head was reeling. How could she be so stupid? Of course, in this timeline if she was engaged to Wyatt she wouldn't be living with her mother…she would be living with him. And given what her mother had just said about Wyatt, she figured she had just made her situation all the more awkward. Attempting to correct this, Lucy groaned, "What, I can't visit my mother? I just thought it would be nice to see you, that's all."
Once again, Carol Preston leveled her with a glare. "Lucy, now I know something is wrong. You haven't been over here to see me since…since that awful night."
Again, Lucy was at a complete loss. Awful night? What on Earth was she referring to? "Mom…"
"I honestly don't know what you expected me to say," Carol continued as she shook her head. "To be proud that my daughter had agreed to marry…." Carol shook her head in disgust, "You were engaged to a successful pediatric surgeon, a man who loved you very much…still does, Lucy…and you threw it away for…for a smooth-talking soldier."
"Wha…" Lucy couldn't help but laugh, "Are…are you still talking about Wyatt?" To hear Wyatt Logan, the man who rarely opened his mouth except to irritate her, described as smooth-talking had to have been one of the most ridiculous things she had heard all night. Forget one glass of wine, Lucy needed the whole damn bottle.
"I told you this would happen." Carol continued, ignoring her daughter as she paced the kitchen. "I told you that night, right there in front of him that he would break your heart one day. A man like that…with no family, no good, solid education…"
"Mom!" Lucy gasped, horrified by what she was hearing. She knew her mother had always wanted the best for her. Her insistence that she turn down her preferred job offer in Ohio was evidence enough of how much she wanted her daughter to follow in her ivy-leagued footsteps, but Lucy never, never in a million years would have believed that her mother would have judged any of her romantic prospects, real or no, on the basis of their job status. It was downright snobbish. Insulted for Wyatt and feeling responsible for his reputation, Lucy came to his defense, "Wyatt is a Delta Force soldier…"
"Yes, I know…you've told me." Carol interrupted with an eye roll. "I knew when you texted me that he had offered to drive you home that he was up to no good. Who would do such a thing for a total stranger?" She shook her head, "I should've just called one of my contacts at San Simeon to pick you up instead of leaving you to the mercy of that man…of course, that was before you two nearly ruined our reputation there."
Once again, Lucy found herself completely in the dark. San Simeon was the town where Hearst Castle was located and while she knew from her calendar that she and Wyatt must have gone there at some point in their drive up to San Francisco, she could not imagine how that could ever equate to ruining her mother's reputation. "I think you're being a little dramatic, mom." Lucy sighed, pouring a glass of wine, hoping that Carol would elaborate.
And elaborate she did.
"A little dramatic? Lucy, do you have any idea how long our family has been involved with that Foundation? How many contributions we have made? I'm an honorary member of the Board, for heaven's sake! And then you and Walter had to pull your little stunt and get a lifetime ban. It was humiliating. Absolutely humiliating."
Lucy choked on her chardonnay, tears brimming her eyes as she croaked, "What?"
"You know very well, what." Carol chided cooly, "To think that my daughter would be expelled from Hearst Castle like…like some common…."
"Mom, I honestly don't…"
"Don't tell me that was an accident." Carol warned, "How do you both just fall into the Roman pool?"
"We fell in the pool." Lucy muttered, suddenly pulling out her phone and quickly bringing up the picture of them standing together near the Bixby Bridge. Upon first seeing this photo she was stunned not so much by the fact that they had taken a selfie together…but by what they were wearing. Matching sweatshirts. Even in her most cheesy relationships Lucy had never gone that far…but now, armed with this knowledge, she looked at the picture in an entirely new light. If they had fallen in the pool at Hearst Castle, anything that they had been wearing would have been absolutely soaked through, forcing them to change into whatever was readily available in the gift shop. So..."matching sweatshirts." she muttered with a smile.
"What?"
"Nothing." Lucy dismissed, dropping her phone back into her purse and turned to her mother with a sigh, "So you don't like Wyatt because he's a decorated soldier in the Special Forces and you blame him for getting me a lifetime ban from Hearst Castle? Is that it?"
"You know that's not it." Carol reproved. "He's not good for you Lucy. What on Earth could you two possibly have in common?"
"Mom…"
"Lucy, you deserve so much better."
Offering her a withering glare, Lucy sighed, "And by 'better' you mean Noah."
"Of course." Carol replied without hesitation. Rolling her eyes, Lucy made to leave the kitchen entirely but her mother latched onto her hand, pleading, "Lucy, listen to me….listen to me. He loves you. He adores you. He has been so patient with you even before this Walter mess…
"Wyatt."
"Whatever." Carol dismissed with a wave of her hand, "Honey, don't you see? You are so much better with him. With me. With Stanford. This is your home . It's what you've worked your whole life for….not to be some military spouse with a fly by night husband."
"Mom." Lucy warned again, "Wyatt is…he's not like that."
"Oh no? Then tell me why, after weeks of avoiding me like the plague you suddenly come home, downing a glass of wine with a tear-stained face and no ring?"
Lucy wanted to set her mother straight and defend Wyatt's honor…but just as she began to do so, she felt herself falter. Wyatt wasn't really her fiancé…well, technically in this timeline he was, but in reality? They couldn't have been further apart. Wyatt had Jessica…or would have soon…and she? She would be left trying to explain to her mother why Wyatt had to leave her…and why she was just fine with it.
Sort of.
Because she wasn't really.
Obviously, she didn't expect anything from him in the romantic sense. They weren't a couple...they weren't in love…but they were a team. Yes, there would be another soldier, but she didn't want another soldier…she wanted her soldier. Wyatt. Wyatt was her soldier. He was the one who had saved her from Flynn, albeit with a shot aimed a little too close to her head, but he had done it. He was the one who had, despite having just been shot, brushed himself off and did his job in 1865. He was the one who had, for Rufus' sake, defied orders and spared Anthony Bruhl's life. And he was the one…the only one who actually acted like he gave a damn when she found out that Amy had disappeared.
So no, she wasn't fine with Wyatt being gone – possibly forever - but she knew that given the circumstances, she would eventually have to let him go. Jessica was alive - his second chance, his miracle. Even if it didn't work out with her, even if by some off-chance she and Wyatt didn't reconcile…they would still be faced with some sort of expectation from everybody else. Well, maybe not the people at Mason, but anyone connected with them outside of it would certainly expect them to be the couple they thought them to be.
They couldn't keep up this charade and dammit…she didn't want to have to pretend. She had already had to pretend to be over the moon in love with Noah for one night and it had been one of the most awkward experiences of her life.
To do that with Wyatt? Her co-worker?
No.
So with as much feigned wounded pride as she could muster, Lucy shrugged, "You're right, mom...we um…we had a fight, okay? He…um…he left for San Diego and I…I'm not sure if he's ever coming back."
To her credit, Carol Preston didn't gloat. Instead, she wrapped her daughter up in her arms and offered her a warm embrace. "Oh honey," she simpered bracingly, "I'm so glad you came home to me." she whispered as she caressed her daughter's back. Pulling away from her slightly, she caressed Lucy's cheek and smiled, "It'll be for the best, you'll see."
"Yeah," Lucy nodded, her voice cracking with real emotion as she thought about actually losing Wyatt from the team. "Yeah…yeah I…I know. I just…I just want him to be happy...that's all."
Carol Preston looked as if she would have liked nothing more than to sneer at that comment, but once again, her self-control seemed to have won out. In what looked to Lucy like a monumental effort on Carol's part, she plastered a sympathetic frown on her face and nodded, "Of course, dear. I want that for him too."
Resisting the temptation to call her mother out for her bald-faced lie, Lucy took a large sip of wine, hoping that it would dull her senses enough to make this conversation less painfully awkward. But no, Carol insisted on making this evening as uncomfortable as possible for Lucy. "You know," she said with a conspiratorial smirk, "Noah isn't working tonight. I could give him a call and….
"No, mom…please." Lucy shot down directly. "I don't want to see Noah."
"Alright, alright" Carol replied, raising her hands in defense, "but at least come with me to the Faculty Dinner tomorrow night at the Ritz. You know how much I hate going on my own."
Lucy raised her eyes to her mother doubtfully knowing nothing could be further from the truth. Unlike Lucy, Carol Preston loved the spotlight. She relished in the attention, the praise, the accolades that came with her prestigious position and reputation. Sharing the spotlight…even with her daughter? No, the only reason she did and the only reason she could possibly have for wanting Lucy to go along to that Faculty meeting was to elevate her daughter from (as it was now), lowly adjunct to full-time professor. Dragging her reluctant daughter into her limelight was the only way, in Carol Preston's mind, to give her daughter the success she believed Lucy deserved.
"I'll go," Lucy agreed, "but only if you promise me you won't use this party to get me back at Stanford." Carol made to argue, but Lucy talked over her, "I'm serious, mom. I…after they pulled my tenure package, I just…I don't want to deal with it anymore, alright? Besides," she said as she took another sip of wine, "I have a job."
"Working for Connor Mason isn't…"
"It's a good job, mom." Lucy maintained, "It's important."
"I didn't send you to the best schools in the country to work for Connor Mason." Carol Preston chided, "I thought you wanted to follow in my footsteps? Keep my legacy?"
Lucy ran a rough hand through her hair and sighed. She hated when her mother pulled the 'legacy' card. She had done it when Lucy had defied her wishes and applied for a professorship at a small-town college in Ohio. She had done it again when that same college offered her a position…and she had done it when UCSD had offered her a chance to guest lecture for them after she…
"Wait." Lucy gasped with a sudden realization, "I guest lectured in San Diego?"
Carol Preston stared at her as if waiting for her to finish her question. When nothing more seemed forthcoming, she nodded meaningfully, "And…now you regret that decision?"
Lucy did her best to hide her shock, but inside, she was reeling. Sure, her mother had mentioned her leaving Stanford for San Diego earlier, but it hadn't quite registered until now that that is what she was talking about…because in her timeline, it didn't happen. Yes, they had offered her a position for a semester or two while one of their tenured professors worked on a research project overseas, but when she had told her mother about it, she had flat out refused to give her consent. Amy had told her to just take it anyway…"to hell with Stanford," she had said…but with her mom's recent cancer diagnosis, Lucy felt guilty and ultimately decided against it.
But in this timeline…
"You know I always wanted to teach someplace other than Stanford." Lucy replied flatly, hoping her mother would elaborate.
Looking absolutely affronted, her mother absolutely puffed up like she was going to blow a literal gasket, staring at Lucy as if she had slapped her. "I don't understand why. What else could you possibly want? I built this department. Stanford is one of the best…"
"That's why , mom." Lucy snapped. "Stanford is your legacy…not mine." Shaking her head, Lucy tried to explain, "I'm always compared to you. Teaching someplace else gives me a chance to…develop my own legacy…using everything you taught me. It's…it's not shirking your legacy," Lucy attempted with a slight shrug, "it's…it's growing it."
For a moment, Lucy thought she had finally caused her mother to see reason, but that moment of hope was short-lived because Carol Preston snorted in laughter, "Lucy, that's ridiculous. Stanford is the only place a daughter of mine should be. It would be an insult to my reputation to have you anywhere else." Shaking her head in disdain, she gritted out, "You know, I'm still furious with James for offering you that position without consulting me first. We were friends for years and now…let's just say Dr. James Gallagher is no longer on my Christmas party list."
"Really, mom."
"No…I blame him as much as I blame that Walter." she snarled. "If he hadn't put it into your head that you actually had a future in San Diego, you never would have broken things off with Noah and left with…with that man."
Lucy's breath hitched in her throat at the allusion to her whirlwind affair with Wyatt that had led her to break off her engagement to Noah. Had she really used that position in San Diego as an excuse to run off with him? Brimming with curiosity…and yet knowing that this was bound to be a very uncomfortable conversation, Lucy pressed, "So…you think that Wyatt had something to do with my choosing to teach in San Diego?"
Carol raised her eyebrows in amusement, "I know he did, Lucy." she replied snidely, before scoffing in utter disdain, "Let's not even start on how reckless you were accepting a ride from a complete stranger, but why you continued to stay with him, even after his own car had problems…"
"Problems?"
Carol offered Lucy a withering glare, "Yes, problems…at least that's what you told me. Something trivial like a flat tire that needed replacing…I don't know, but to hear that you had actually refused to take him up on his offer to get you a rental car…"
"I did?" Lucy gasped, before startling, "I…I mean, yes, I…I did." Swallowing hard, Lucy shrugged, "You…um…you know I don't like driving long distances by myself."
"That's why I told you to fly to San Diego…but you insisted on driving to that conference….and Lucy," Carol conceded as she reached out and caressed her daughter's arm, "I know you had some… reservations about your engagement to Noah before that trip, but honey, sowing your wild oats with some…some man who picked you up on the side of the road? What on Earth could you have been thinking?"
"What?!" Lucy gasped, horrified, "Is…is that what you think happened?" Of course, she was literally asking because she had no idea. All outward appearances seemed to confirm the theory that yes, she and Wyatt had some kind of illicit affair…but she couldn't believe it. Even if she wasunhappy with Noah, she wasn't the kind of person to do something like that…and neither, for that matter, was Wyatt.
At least that's what he had said, anyway.
"How could I not?" Carol snapped. "You come back here, moping night and day after he dropped you off…checking your phone every five minutes to see if he was ever going to bring back your suitcases." she scoffed, "I still think he left with them on purpose, just to give him an excuse to see you again."
At that, Lucy absolutely scoffed. It was already ridiculous to think that she and Wyatt were anything more than co-workers…but to think that he would have purposefully done something to guarantee he would have to see her again? Wyatt Logan? No.
"Mom, I don't think…"
"And all I heard from you the entire week afterwards was how much you wanted to carve out your own path, make your own choices…as if you hadn't already been doing that very thing." Carol shook her head, "Something happened on that trip. You…you came back with all kinds of silly notions in your head."
"Like what?" Lucy challenged.
Carol appraised her with a critical eye and dismissed her with a shake of her head, "I'm not going back into it with you…it'll only make us both upset." she replied, before adding, "And anyway, what difference does it make now? You "chartered your own course" when you broke things off with Noah…and now look where it's gotten you. Sad and alone."
As much as Lucy wanted to correct her mother and insist that in no way did she consider herself sad and alone, she did not. As far as her mother knew she was newly sad and alone with Wyatt running off to San Diego, never to return. So instead of fighting it, Lucy embraced the pathos…even if it was all for show. Heaving a sigh, Lucy shrugged, "Well, like you said -it's for the best, right?"
"Right." Carol smiled proudly, bracing Lucy's shoulders with her hands. "You'll see..in a few weeks time, you won't even remember this Walter." Patting her Lucy's arms she quipped, "So, would you like to stay here…or are you planning on going back to your place? He's in San Diego, you say?"
Again, Lucy's brain seemed to be three steps behind. It took her almost a full ten seconds to register that "her place" was the place she apparently shared with Wyatt…and while she was absolutely curious to see what kind of living situation they actually had, she couldn't bring herself to muster up the courage to even attempt a visit. Even if Wyatt had gone immediately to San Diego (and why wouldn't he?) just the idea of entering his personal space, when he was so intensely private, made her feel all kinds of uncomfortable. But Carol was right…If Wyatt was gone, why wouldn't she go back to her place? He wasn't there anymore, so why wouldn't she just live there? Sad and alone?
'Well," Lucy began, wracking her brain to come up with something plausible, "I…just…I just didn't want to be alone tonight." she replied with a slight shrug. "I hope…I hope you don't mind if I just…"
"Of course not, dear." Carol assured her as she affectionately stroked her daughter's chin with her thumb. "You stay as long as you like. I still have a few of your old things in your closet upstairs." With a smile and nod she pointed her finger at her daughter and reminded her, "Just make sure you come to that dinner at the Ritz tomorrow…I think it'll do you good."
Not wanting to dwell on what her mother possibly thought could "do her good" at a dinner where the guest list was undoubtedly comprised of every single jackass who had voted to deny her tenure, Lucy poured herself another glass of wine and settled herself onto the oversized couch in her mother's family room. Her entire life might have been upside down and turned inside out once again, but as she laid her head back against the cushions and relished another sip of chardonnay, she found that right now, she just didn't give a damn.
Notes:
I have about ten chapters completed in this fic...but as many of you know, I'm winding down Stranded. I gave myself a milestone before I posted the next chapter of this fic...and well, I met it...so here it is. As I've said before, I don't want to post these chapters too quickly and then find myself working overtime to get two fics completed, so as I get closer to finishing Stranded, you'll see more of these Vegas chapters pop up so that I can focus my attention on completing that MONSTER while setting the stage for this last installment of the Torrent series.
It's been so long since I wrote this chapter, I actually had to re-read it to remember what was in it - but I hope you enjoy it. I started writing this fic not long after Torrent and wrote a majority of what I have completed right after Once Upon A Highway. You're going to see some callbacks to that fic and some behind the scenes moments that Torrent only alludes to in this one - so if you see some familiar things, that's why - all of these stories are connected and intertwined.
