I LIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVEEE!
I could make some excuses about why it took me so long to come back and finish this but…. I don't have any good ones. Sorry. But I'm back! And it's done now! Finally! Enjoy!
Adrien needed to tell Marinette his identity. He needed it like he needed to breathe, because being in the same room without her knowing was suffocating. He needed it because he wanted to be able to take her out on a normal date, to show everyone that she was his girlfriend and the most amazing girl in the world. He needed it because acting like Adrien and Cat Noir were two different people around her felt like the worst kind of lie, and not giving her the truth she deserved made him feel sick. He needed to tell her, but he couldn't without talking to Ladybug.
While the thought of discussing his love for another girl with his Lady was its own kind of painful, she was just too important for him not to at least talk to about it. She was his partner, his confidante, his best friend. He fully expected her to be furious with him, to call him reckless and selfish. She might never forgive him for this foolishness, but to reveal himself to someone else without even telling her about it felt like the worst kind of betrayal. He needed to talk to Ladybug, even if it was just to inform her of a decision his heart had made long ago.
So, when the weekend came and it was time for patrol, he sat on the usual nondescript rooftop pacing anxiously. He got there at least an hour early, and had spent the entire day beforehand running through every possible reaction Ladybug could have. Would she be angry? Sad? Disappointed? What if she asked him to give up his Miraculous because he'd been too irresponsible? He wasn't sure he could handle that. No Miraculous meant no more Cat Noir, with all the freedom that entailed. It also meant no Plagg, and though he was snarky and stank of cheese, Adrien could no longer imagine his life without the sardonic kwami. Lastly, it meant no Ladybug. Forever. Not only would he never be able to fight by his Lady's side again, replaced by someone else, not knowing her secret identity meant he wouldn't even be able to remain her friend. The thought of saying goodbye to her made him sick, but would he really be able to deny her, if she asked him? Would she ever trust him again if he did?
The dark, cloudy night did nothing to soothe his frazzled nerves. Adrien's tail flicked back and forth violently as he paced. He thought back to Plagg's words, about how worrying over something you can't change would only upset you. He was right.
It still didn't stop Adrien from twisting himself into knots.
He was so caught up in himself he didn't notice Ladybug swing elegantly onto the roof, nor did he see the look of apprehension she carried on her own face. He just paced, stewing and miserable.
"Hey, kitty."
Ladybug's voice snapped Adrien out of his reverie, his full attention coming to rest on her.
"Ladybug!" he exclaimed. Instinctively, a smile spread across his features, his worries momentarily forgotten in the presence of his Lady. They couldn't be kept at bay for long, though, and it was only a moment before his face fell once more. "My Lady, I… I need to talk to you," he admitted, dreading the conversation to come but knowing it needed to happen.
"I could tell," she said almost jokingly, but the levity was forced. "I need to talk to you, too." Adrien's brow furrowed more deeply and he pressed his lips together. Ladybug had something important to say too? What could it possibly be? Should he let her go first, or would it be better to get his topic out of the way if her trust in him was bound to be broken that night regardless? As he began to stew again, he felt Ladybug's hand on his shoulder.
"How about you go first," she offered.
"Are you sure?" he asked, relieved she had taken the decision out of his hands but still wondering if it was the best choice. "Because I-"
"It's fine, Cat," she interrupted him. "If what you have to say is so important it has you pacing a hole in this poor roof, you can go first."
Had he really been pacing that much? His tail twitched and he licked his lips. "Okay," he muttered, "okay." Adrien took a deep breath and looked directly into Ladybug's eyes. "I want to tell someone my secret identity." He screwed his eyes shut, fully prepared for all kinds of scathing words, but Ladybug was silent. Surely, she was too angry for words. After a moment he dared to crack one eye open to hazard a glance, and what he saw was… nothing like what he had expected. Her face was calm, understanding even. Smiling. Why? Ladybug was always the one to champion keeping their identities a secret, to insist that it was safer for them and those around them to do so. How could she just… stand there while he confessed wanting to reveal himself? His shock relaxed his posture and soon he was staring at her owlishly.
"You're… not mad?" he asked.
"No, Cat," she replied, taking a step towards him. "I'm not mad. You've clearly thought about this a lot, it wouldn't be fair of me to blow up at you without giving you a chance to explain." Adrien blinked, bewildered. Was this really Ladybug?
"Well?" she said pointedly.
"Oh-OH! Right, explaining," Adrien stammered. "I should explain." He took a deep breath. "You… well, you know how Marinette basically saved my life recently?"
Ladybug cocked an eyebrow. "Yes, I do remember how you got shot and ran to a civilian's house." Adrien winced a bit at her light scolding.
"Yeah, well, you see, I kind of… kept going to her house afterwards?" His hand found its way behind his head, scratching nervously. "And, well, one thing led to another, and we're kinda- I mean not kinda because it's actually very clear- but you see, she and I, we- well, we're-"
"Cat Noir," she cut in. "Just say it"
Adrien took another deep breath.
"We're dating and I really like her but dating her as a superhero would put her in danger so I wanted to tell her my secret identity so we could be together without Hawk Moth getting in the way!" Once the floodgates were opened the words tumbled out of his mouth uncontrollably. Adrien wouldn't have been able to stop them if he'd wanted to. He let out a deep sigh. "So… yeah…" he finished lamely, peeking at Ladybug through his eyelashes.
Her lips were pressed together and her brow was furrowed in thought. "I understand how you feel…" she started slowly. "It's the hardest thing in the world to keep secrets from the people most important to you, especially if you start to wonder,,, if it should really stay a secret anymore…" she trailed off, her mind seemingly a million miles away.
"My Lady?" Adrien prompted her. She looked up at him and something steeled in her eyes. She nodded resolutely at something and took a deep breath.
"Cat Noir… I'm Ladybug." Adrien deflated. Of course, she was Ladybug and Ladybug always made the right choice.
"I know," he mumbled. "You don't think i should tell her because 'our identities must remain a-'"
"NO!" she snapped, her hands forming fists at her sides. "I mean I'm Ladybug!"
Adrien blinked quizzically. "Yes?"
Ladybug's face twisted in frustration as she stomped her foot. "No- I mean, yes, I am, but- oh, why do these things never come out right?"
"My Lady?" What was she going on about?
"Ugh- what I mean is I'm Ladybug!"
"... I realize that." Adrien was starting to get concerned.
Ladybug let out a strangled scream of consternation. "Oh, for the love of- MY STUPID MOUTH!" Ladybug turned sharply and huffed away from him in a huff. Adrien followed cautiously, still not quite sure what was going on. When she reached the edge of the roof she stomped again and rounded on him.
"Ladybug, wha-"
"TIKKI, SPOTS OFF!"
Adrien was so surprised by her releasing her transformation that he didn't even consider looking away. As a result, his eyes were wide open as a flash of pink light passed over Ladybug to leave… Marinette.
"I'm Ladybug," she repeated, but it was Marinette who spoke this time. Marinette, who sat behind him in class. Marinette, who was brave and sweet and smelled like strawberries. Marinette, who wore lacy pink underwear and had really nice-
WE ARE REPRESSING THAT! THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE!
LADYBUG WEARS LACY PINK UNDERWEAR.
WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?!
LADYBUG WEARS LACY PINK UNDERWEAR.
Adrien stood there a moment, processing. Because Ladybug was Marinette, and Marinette was Ladybug. That meant Ladybug went to his school. Ladybug sat behind him in class. Ladybug had had a crush on him since the beginning of the school year. Ladybug wore lacy pink-
WHY CAN'T YOU THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE?!
He was frozen to the spot as his mind went into overdrive. There were a million thoughts running through his head and even more things he had to say, but the thing that came out of his mouth was-
"I'm Adrien."
It was the wrong thing to say.
Marinette blinked at him once.
Then twice.
Because surely she misheard, right? There was no way Cat Noir was Adrien. It had to be a mistake. Because if Cat Noir was Adrien, her Adrien, then that meant that Adrien had been flirting with her for months and she had brushed him off. It meant that Adrien had heard every embarrassing secret about her crush that she would rather die than let see the light of day. It meant that Adrien had seen her-
Marinette started making a high-pitched keening sound that suited a motor boat far more than a teenage girl.
Realizing his mistake, Cat Noir-Adrien- the boy- tried to move closer to calm her down.
"Marinette-"
It was the wrong thing to do.
"TIKKISPOTSON!" Marinette screamed, cheeks scarlet and flaming. She was halfway across the skyline before the boy could even register what had happened. Heck, she wasn't even sure what had just happened. Her body was moving entirely on muscle memory in her panic because Adrien was Cat Noir and Cat Noir was Adrien and Adrien was the love of her life and she had kissed him and teased him and he had seen her half naked in her underwear.
Several Parisians had their otherwise quiet evenings interrupted by a strange, gurgled screeching.
However, this was Paris, and until an evacuation order came, they were content to let Ladybug and Cat Noir handle whatever was happening. Even if one of said superheroes was running like hell was at her heels while the other desperately tried to keep up. Because Adrien had, in fact, been able to restart his brain and run after Ladybug a few seconds after she had bolted from the roof, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't catch up with her. Had she always been this fast? He didn't think so, but then again his brain was only working on half power because the other half was still processing the fact that Marinette was Ladybug. As impossible as it had seemed only a few moments ago, the more he thought about it the more it seemed to fit. After all, who else could Ladybug be? Who else was that brave, that selfless, that incredible? And didn't Marinette tend to disappear during akuma attacks? He could only place her at a few, and even then only near the start. So when his Lady dove headfirst into Marinette's skylight on top of the bakery, somehow it just felt right.
Unfortunately his boots only hit the rooftop seconds after the window had been slammed shut and locked with a loud clack. Adrien scrambled over to it, knowing he was too late, but needing to try anyway.
"Marinette!" he hissed, knocking softly because he at least had the presence of mind to not want to wake up the whole block. "Marinette, open up!" Thunder sounded in the skies as a cold wind blew, and Adrien couldn't help but shiver.
Meanwhile, Marinette was inside, draped over her chaise with her face screaming into her ever-abused pillow. She didn't recall dropping her transformation, but she must have because Tikki was floating beside her, waiting calmly for the storm of emotions to roll past. When she was finally capable of coherent thought again, she looked up at her kwami with wild eyes and stared.
"Oh my God."
"Now, Marinette, I realize that this is a lot, but-"
"OH MY GOD!"
"You know, it's been a while since I've seen you like this," Tikki mused, fondly recalling the first time she and Marinette had met.
"Adrien is Cat Noir," Marinette stated, sitting up and pulling her pillow to her chest in a deathgrip.
"Seems like it," Tikki replied, far too calm than she had any right to be.
"Adrien is Cat Noir," The words felt strange in her mouth no matter how many times she said them.
"Yes! Isn't it wonderful?" the kwami chirped.
"Wonderful?" Marinette repeated. "WONDERFUL?!" Her voice seemed sharp and brittle, like broken glass. "This is a disaster! A catastrophe, a nightmare, a sign of the apocalypse! How could you possibly say it's wonderful?!"
"Well, because the boy you've always loved and the boy who's always loved you are the same person. Isn't this what you wanted?" Tikki's voice was calm as she floated closer to her chosen, coming to a stop right in front of her face.
"NO! Yes?! Oh, Tikki, I don't know!" Marinette wailed. "Why is this all so- so- UGH!" Marinette flopped onto her back and trained her eyes on the ceiling, not really seeing anything. Tikki hovered back into view, her large blue eyes seemingly staring right through the frazzled teenager.
"Is it a bad thing? That the two boys you love the most aren't different people after all?"
"I… guess not…" Marinette conceded, averting her gaze from Tikki's knowing stare.
"Then what's the problem?" the kwami prodded, moving closer again.
"I just- I don't-" Marinette bit her lip in frustration. She dared to turn her eyes back to the small deity. "Tikki, how am I ever going to look at him again?" she moaned. "He- he's seen everything!"
"Well, you're going to have to figure that out pretty soon," Tikki told her.
"Why?" She didn't have to see him yet, did she? It was the weekend, she was safe until at least Monday, and by then she could have packed up all her things and moved to live with her uncle in Shang-
"Because he's right outside." At once, Marinette became aware of a persistent knock knock knock that had been sounding in the background- how had she missed it?- and her eyes snapped to her skylight to see a familiar head of blonde hair and panicked green eyes on the other side of the glass. She yelped and threw her pillow across the room, diving under her desk.
"Why is he here?!" Marinette put her hands over her head, eyes flailing wildly, as if the answer to all her problems was somewhere in her room.
"He followed you, Marinette," Tikki explained calmly. "He wants to talk. Go on and let him in."
"NO! I can't- I won't! You can't make me!"
"Oh, yes you will," the kwami chuckled knowingly.
"And why is that?" her Chosen demanded, scowling.
"Because it's going to rain." Thunder punctuated the remark, as if the skies themselves were agreeing with the tiny god.
Marinette's eyes grew wide as she listened to the wind scream through the streets. From the sound of it, it wasn't just a light shower but a storm. And Cat-Adrien-he was out there on her balcony, alone. Would he leave? He must have heard the coming storm too, and his house wasn't too far, if he hurried he could make it there before the rain started. Surely he wouldn't be so stubborn as to-
Marinette groaned.
Because of course he was that stubborn, Cat Noir was one of the most stubborn people she knew. He'd stay out there in a hurricane if he had to, all wet and cold and miserable. He'd get sick, and of course it would be pneumonia, so he'd waste away in the hospital as he grew weak and pale and he'd die alone while she hid here under her desk, and they'd never get married and have a wedding by the Seine at sunset, which of course meant they wouldn't have three kids and a hamster named-
Knock knock.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the pitiful, desperate sound of his knocking at her window. She bit her lip, imagining him staying up there. She wasn't sure what tugged at her heartstrings more, a teary and bedraggled Cat Noir, or a wet and somber Adrien. Both mental images made her heart break.
Marinette groaned again, clenching her fists, before slowly, slowly, crawling out from under her desk. She got onto her feet and tentatively made her way to the bottom of the stairs to her bed. She made the mistake of looking up and meeting Cat Noir's pleading green eyes. She stiffened, and almost made another dive for the safety of her desk, but a small nudge at her back urged her forward. She climbed the stairs, never breaking eye contact with the boy outside her window. Far too soon, she was right beneath him, and his eyes seemed to pour out one message: Please?
Marinette forced her hand up, up towards the latch, shaking. She almost let it drop, but another clap of thunder jolted her fingers around the lock. She closed her eyes, unable to look at him another second, and flipped the latch.
A second later she had bolted back down the stairs and tumbled over her chaise in her attempts to hide behind it. She righted herself, crouched down on the floor, and waited.
Her skylight creaked as it opened and Cat Noir silently slipped into her room, closing the window softly as he did. He caught her gaze as he carefully made his way down to her level, moving as if he was approaching a wounded animal. After what seemed like both forever and no time at all, he reached the chaise and slowly sat down so he was at her level.
"Hi," he said lamely. Well, at least it was something.
"Hi," she replied, her voice quiet. More thunder pealed as rain finally began to fall, pelting every rooftop of Paris with thick sheets of white noise. Her room seemed smaller, somehow, despite nothing else changing.
Marinette bit her lip again as her hands gripped the edge of her chaise, nails digging into the fabric like her life depended on it. Maybe it did.
Cat Noir considered her for a moment before taking a deep breath.
"I've loved Ladybug since the day we met," he declared, taking Marinette by surprise. She flinched a bit at his sudden words, but let him continue. "At first, she was just my partner, another superhero I got to work with while I ran around protecting Paris, but by the time our first fight with Stoneheart was over she had already become more. She was clever and brave, and able to do the most impossible things with almost nothing. I couldn't believe how incredible she was." Marinette turned bright red, embarrassed by his praise. Did he really think that highly of her from the start? Cat Noir's eyes seemed to burn as he continued. "Of course, we didn't pull it off quite right, forgetting to capture the akuma and all, and when I saw her again I could tell how torn up she was, like she was trying to take the weight of the world on her shoulders and it was breaking her. I thought she might crumble under the pressure, so I did my best to cheer her up, and then…" His eyes fell to his hands as a dreamy smile spread across his face. "Then she marched forward, told off Hawk Moth, and declared to every citizen in Paris that she'd protect them. That was the moment I knew I loved her."
"Even-" Marinette bit her lip and gulped. "Even though she almost gave up?" she asked hesitantly.
"Even more because of that," he declared, his gaze meeting hers again.
Marinette's brow furrowed slightly as she unconsciously sat up a little straighter. "Why?" she murmured.
"Because she could have. She could have given up, she thought about it, and decided not to," he explained. "She could have done what was easy, but she chose to do what was right." Marinette's flush deepened at the awe and respect in his voice, at how clear his devotion was. His devotion for her.
"Why are you telling me this?" Her hands released the chaise, folding across her chest as she tried to make herself smaller.
"To be fair," he answered. "I… heard a lot of things I probably shouldn't have behind the mask." His eyes dropped once more, though this time in shame. "It felt like… cheating. Lying. It wasn't fair."
For the first time in what felt like forever (but really hadn't been that long at all), Marinette gave a small smile. The kindness of the gesture was just like Cat Noir. just like… Adrien. The distance between the two seemed a bit smaller now, especially with the sound of rain reminding her of the day he'd given her his umbrella.
"All right," she acknowledged. "You've told me about Ladybug. What- what about Marinette?" Her eyes fell at the last sentence, not brave enough to look at him while he answered.
"I've always thought Marinette was amazing, too," he declared. The certainty in his voice made her squirm in a way that had her insides in fluffy knots. "As terrifying as it was to be on the receiving end of one of your glares," she heated up a bit more at that, ashamed to have ever thought of him as a bully, "I couldn't help but respect someone who was willing to look Gabriel Agreste's son in the eye and tell me exactly what she thought of me."
"I- I didn't recognize you at first," she admitted, her hands falling to her lap and grasping at her pants.
Cat Noir cocked an eyebrow. "Even though I'm the son and main model of your favorite designer?" he said in disbelief.
Marinette shook her head. "I'd seen pictures before- in magazines-but I never really paid attention to the models. I was always more interested in the… clothes…" she finished weakly, stealing a glance at him from beneath her eyelashes. The soft smile she found there made her retreat again.
"Why is that so easy to believe?" he chuckled. "Well, not knowing I was Adrien Agreste and treating me like a person is pretty impressive too, in its own way." She dared to look up at him again. "Though something tells me knowing who I was wouldn't have really changed much, would it Princess?" He finished with a wink and she just about melted. "And you stand up to Chloe just about every day so the point still stands." She wanted to say that she had only started standing up to Chloe that year, but couldn't bring herself to interrupt him again. "I also noticed how kind you are, how you're always willing to go the extra mile for others, how passionate you are about the things and people you love… you're amazing, Marinette." The girl in question was sure she had been reduced to nothing but a puddle on the floor.
"So why didn't you try to get to know me better as Adrien?" she whispered. After all, if he really thought that highly of her, wouldn't he have tried to get closer to her as himself?
"I- ugh," he sighed. "You're gonna think it's stupid," he muttered as he turned his head away. Marinette's head perked up a bit more as she silently waited for him to continue. He snuck a glance at her from the corner of his eye and gave another sigh. "I- well, I… I thought I made you uncomfortable," he admitted, flushing.
Marinette processed that for a moment. "You- I… huh?" Her head tilted to the side cutely and Cat Noir hid a smile behind his hand.
"Well, it's just… you never really talked to me, you know? As Adrien. And when you did it seemed like you wanted to end the conversation as quickly as you could, so I thought that, you know, maybe, you didn't… like me…" Marinette blinked owlishly at his confession. He thought… she didn't… like.. Him? Adrien, the love of her life, thought she didn't like him?! "It's stupid, I know!" he grumbled. "I just, well the only other girl I knew well was Chloe, and she's not exactly shy about that sort of thing, so I just… assumed…" His ears peeking out from his hair were bright red, and she was sure under the suit he was flushed down to his neck. Adrien was flustered… because of her. It was a foreign concept.
"So you decided to get closer as Cat Noir?" she asked, twiddling her thumbs in her lap.
"No!" he blurted out, his head snapping back to her. "I mean, kind of? I didn't really mean to, it just sorta… happened?" He shrugged and gave an uneasy smile, not quite knowing how to put his feelings into words.
"I… think I understand," she answered slowly. "I didn't really mean for… this to happen either."
He gave a breathy laugh. "I can imagine," he sighed. Then he pursed his lips for a moment before speaking again. "So… why not Cat Noir?" he ventured timidly. "At least, why not at first? As Ladybug?"
Marinette tensed, not really sure how to answer that question, not sure if she should. But… he'd been honest with her. He deserved the same. "Well… I guess part of it was wanting to stay loyal to Adrien," she admitted. He nodded, completely understanding. "And I can't say your showboating did you any favors." She gave him a pointed look and he had the decency to look abashed. "It's not that I didn't like you or think you were important, because you were, you are, and I wouldn't be able to be Ladybug without you, it's just… honestly half the time it seemed like a joke, like that's just how you are," she said earnestly.
Cat Noir bristled a bit at that. "A joke?" he repeated.
"Well, it's not like you talked to enough girls for me to feel like you were treating me any different," she defended herself, pouting. "And then when you met me as Marinette and flirted with me then, too…" He winced a bit.
"Yeah, okay," he conceded. "I guess I wasn't the clearest either." She gave him a warm smile. "So why was Marinette different from Ladybug? Why did you let me in without the mask?"
"Well, part of it was because I didn't have the mask," she explained. "It's… different being Ladybug. Easier to compartmentalize." She gave a firm nod to no one in particular. "And then, you were a bit different with me as Marinette, too. A bit more sincere. A bit more… yourself," she finished, catching his eye.
"So what you're saying is," he said in mock seriousness, "if I hadn't tried so hard, Ladybug might have given me the time of day?" He was rewarded with a small laugh.
"Now let's not get crazy, kitty," Marinette giggled.
"As you wish, milady," he drawled, and she giggled again. Slowly, he got up and made his way to join her on the other side of the chaise. The only move she made was to turn to face him. He sat down again, this time right in front of her and looked her in the eye. No words were needed between them, as his gaze said everything he needed to.
Are you ready?
Marinette took a deep breath and reached for his hand, her fingers dancing over the ring, before clasping it tightly. She nodded.
"Plagg, claws in."
There was a flash of green light, and suddenly the hand Marinette was holding was neither gloved nor clawed. The only thing that broke up the warm, dryness of his skin was the cool metal of his ring.
Marinette steeled herself and forced her eyes upward. They trailed over his tan arm, his white overshirt, his flushed neck, before finally daring to land on his face. What she found there was… Adrien. Just Adrien. Not the Perfect Adrien Agreste that modeled for the camera, nor the cocky Cat Noir whose mouth tended to write checks he couldn't keep, just Adrien. Somehow, that thought made her breath hitch in the strangest way.
Their eyes met and she felt more than saw him lean in closer. Soon their foreheads were resting against each other as they took the moment in.
"So," he whispered, his breath warm and sweet across her face.
"So," she repeated.
The stillness held for another moment before they started getting even closer. Neither was sure who had moved first, all they could say was that it was something they both wanted, needed. By the time their lips touched both their hearts were beating a million miles a minute, but neither cared. The moment was too perfect to interrupt for anything. And so they sat there, for who knows how long, in a small room guarded by the rain, and for the first time sure that everything in the world was right.
"Awww, Plagg," Tikki cooed. "Look at them! They're so happy!" Both kwamis looked down at the teens from their vantage point on Marinette's bed.
"Ugh, spare me," Plagg grumbled. "All these feelings may be right up your alley, Sugarcube, but they make me sick. Why do humans always make these things so… mushy?"
Tikki scowled and nudged him with her arm. "Well some of us can appreciate beautiful moments when they happen," she pouted. "And don't call me Sugarcube!"
"Yeah, yeah, all I'm saying is they better not leave me to babysit their kittens. I hate it when that happens."
Tikki rolled her eyes. Her other half may put on a tough act, but she knew from experience he got way more invested in the 'kittens' than she did. Her smile returned as she looked back down at the two humans below them.
Well, she thought, we don't have to worry about that quite yet.
You know, I had the odd experience of rereading this fic myself to remember what happened in it because it's been so long, and I was honestly expecting to cring out of my skin but like? I'm really funny? And I actually enjoyed it a lot? Aren't artists supposed to be. like, their own worst critic? Maybe it's because it's been so long that I kinda forgot most of it.
I intended to make the whole conversation in Marinette's room a lot funnier, but Adrien kept being so gosh darn sincere, and I could't really stop him. I still like how it turned out, though.
Anyways, sorry this took so long, but I keep my promises! It's done, it all it's glory! Kinda a load off my chest, you know? Maybe next time I write something I'll actually make sure it's FINISHED before I post it...
