CONTENT WARNING: this chapter depicts depression, anxiety, powerless/argumentative family environment, and self-destructive behavior.
This was another chapter that was hard to edit because it hits too close to home. Please stay safe and do not read if you feel uncomfortable about the aforementioned content.
"Father, are you free to talk with us?" Time asked.
"About what?" Galaxy looked up from the redstone circuit he was building (which also had bread crumbs and apple cores scattered around it). He froze when he saw Memory behind Time. "Oh, ummm...is it a serious conversation or...?"
"You and I can't decide what Memory wants to talk about. Just tell us if you are free to talk or not."
Galaxy gulped. "...Yes, we can talk. Does it have to be here though?"
Memory scanned the Illusion Town. Sabre and Alex seemed focused on their work, but he knew that Sabre especially may eavesdrop on their conversation. "I'd really prefer a more private space too. I don't want anyone else to hear."
Galaxy eagerly nodded. "Yeah, can we go somewhere else to talk?"
Before Time could answer, Sabre in the distance yelled, "AAAAAAAHHHH, WE ARE NEVER GOING TO GET THIS DONE. I SORRY THAT I'M GOING TO SOUND LIKE A CRAPPY MANAGER, BUT WE ALL GOTTA WORK OVERTIME. ALEX, I KNOW YOU WON'T KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, BUT DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD THAT'S EQUIVALENT TO MOUNTAIN DEW?"
"Umm, there are mountains with lakes," Alex said. "Is that what you're looking for? I can get you water from those mountains."
"NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANT."
Galaxy panicked. "Sabre's stressed and that makes me stressed! I don't think I have time to chat after all!"
Memory bounced on his toes, sending a silent, needy plead at Time to do something.
"Wait, you guys don't have to worry about time!" Galaxy cried. "Can you do something about this?!"
Memory's guilt grew and he threw his arms out. "No, Time, you don't have to! I appreciate you asking Galaxy on my behalf, but it's ok if we can't talk! We can do it another time!"
"But because Sabre's stressed, I don't know if I'll be free anytime soon!"
"Ok, ok!" Time snapped. "Here's what we'll do: we'll go talk in my dimension. Time won't pass in the Overworld while we're there, and when we're done, Galaxy can return to work without wasting a single second. Let's go."
Back in the Time Dimension, Time took his two visitors to a new room, which was unlike anything Memory had seen before. The walls, ceiling, and floor were an ongoing galaxy pattern. He couldn't tell the floor and walls apart in this vague space. In the center of the room, a gray table stood on the nonexistent floor. Four birch seats surrounding the table, two on one side and two on the other.
Memory approached the table, his shoes meeting the unseen floor; he tried not to question the strange space. Time followed him, and Galaxy tagged after them, slowly spinning and absorbing the sight as he walked. Memory anxiously waited at the table, with Time sitting next to him. When Galaxy sat on the opposite side, a tense silence lingered.
Memory kept his gaze down. After a long, agonizing, internal debate, he reached to his head, took off his mask, and lowered his balaclava. He didn't hear his uncle or cousin say anything, and he didn't want to know how they reacted. Self-consciousness hit him like a wave, and he suddenly wished he could hide his face and entire body, but he was paralyzed by the surge of fear. This was the first time in generations Galaxy saw him without his mask, and probably the first time in his life Galaxy saw him like this: lost, upset, and unsure what side he belonged to anymore.
"...You look like you could use a treat," Galaxy said, adding a nervous laugh. "You want some food?"
"...I don't see why not," Memory replied.
"I got these." Galaxy took out a large box of cookies and set them on the table. "You still like cookies, right?"
Memory perked up. He didn't know if Galaxy remembering his favorite treat was genuine or coincidental, but he secretly hoped it was the former. "...yes. Thank you."
Galaxy smiled a bit. "You're welcome. These came from a cookie shop run by an Elder Blue Steve. His nickname is Overseer. Is he...ok?"
Memory took a cookie from the box. "He's real and alive. But under the illusion, he thinks all of his Blue Steve friends are alive."
"Oh." Galaxy uncomfortably looked away and gulped down three cookies. "So...what do you want to talk about?"
Memory looked back down, trying to word his question without breaking his voice. "...why did you leave me behind?"
Galaxy paused from finishing the last half of his fourth cookie.
"Do you remember who I used to be before you left?" Memory continued, his questions starting to become more tangible and painful. "Do you remember spending time together as uncle and nephew?" His life from generations ago filled his mind. The life he used to have when Galaxy and his sons regularly visited Void's castle. When Galaxy begged Memory to erase Steves' memories and praised him for being his favorite nephew. When Galaxy took him and his sons on trips to other dimensions. Back then, Memory had felt like part of the family. But now, knowing the awful generations that followed those joyous time, and knowing that they could have been avoided, he felt used and abandoned. Wanting to save the last fond feelings he had for his past, he badly wanted to know what Galaxy thought about the same memories.
Galaxy pressed his hands into the table. "When I remembered my sons, I felt so many emotions. Stress, panic, love. I sorta lost my mind when I came to Sabre asking where Elemental and Time were, only for him to tell me that Time left the team and Elemental was..." He glanced at Time, who was listening silently. "Well, you know what happened. Then later, after Rainbow was destroyed, I remembered everything, realized you were my nephew and...I felt just awful, knowing I could never see you again or make it up to you."
Memory looked up, feeling a mix of shock and disbelief. "You cared?"
"Yes, I did. Remembering everything also meant feeling despair for all the people I let down, including you."
"Then why did you leave me behind?" Memory pressed on. "You ran away with your sons. I was there when it happened."
"Memory, you're all I have left. You are my only family and my only friend. I trust you to not become a weak, backstabbing traitor like them. Please...don't ever leave me...I don't know what I'll do to myself if the last person I love leaves me!"
"If you cared about me, then why didn't you take me with you? You left me behind with Void, allowing him to poison my mind and transform me..." Memory shuddered and tried to reclaim his breath. "Transform me into this villain who causes nothing but pain. Why didn't you come back for me?"
Galaxy rubbed his arm uneasily and stared at the table. He looked like a naïve child being lectured for the first time, only it took too many generations for him to finally realize what he did wrong. "Well, you know the favors I asked from you. I was...am...the guy who runs away from responsibilities, so afraid of getting into trouble. I knew you'd erase the memories of Steves would eventually suspect my connection with Void. I spent a lot of time with you back in the day to get you to do these things for me and to show you how much I appreciated your help."
Galaxy lifted his head up, revealing his pained expression and softly glowing eyes. "Of course, I've learned how messed up that was: all that running away, asking you to erase memories, and letting Void do these bad things in the first place. When I couldn't convince Void to stop his evil ways, I ran away and left you behind because...I was afraid I would continue abusing your powers to cover up my mistakes.
"I was addicted to your powers. I had to get away from both you and your dad. That's why I never came back for you. I was not good. I had to get away to prevent myself from using your powers for bad things." Galaxy sighed heavily. "I guess even now, I'm still addicted to your powers, because I created Illusion to block out everyone's memories so no one can accuse me for not doing enough to stop the infection. I'm selfish and never learned anything. I...Memory?"
Memory stared at the mask in his lap. He felt like he was on a tightrope. If he leaned too far one side, he'd fall into numbness. If he leaned the other way, he'd fall into a storm of "what ifs" and "should haves." He was losing focus, putting all of his attention to finding that balance instead of listening to Galaxy's words.
He didn't even notice he'd been silently crying until he felt Time rub his back, speaking to him in a soothing voice. "It's ok. Remember to breathe."
He forced himself to take three deep breaths. Time hugged him. Through the corner of his eyes, he saw Galaxy look away in shame.
"It's ok," Time repeated. But his family seeing him like this just spiked Memory's shame.
Memory jumped out of his seat and bolted to the exit.
"Memory!"
He paused at the portal, trembling. "I...I can't believe you only valued me for my powers and how I could serve you." Galaxy was no better than Void. "You didn't even think about me as a person. I...I was just a teenager when you left, you know."
"Memory, I – "
Memory fled and bolted through the halls. Anything to get far away from Galaxy. He ran until he collapsed, unable to breath or stand back up. His lungs were tight and unable to take in a deep breath. He started to sob, the sharp inhales and exhales making his chest feel worse.
A nearby portal whirled to life and footsteps clicked towards him. "Memory!" Galaxy cried. "I'm so, so sorry for not being there for you. For Time and Elemental. Even for Void. I let everyone down, especially you."
Memory tore his eyes away. "Leave me alone."
Galaxy huffed. "I caused a huge mess, and I will make it up to everyone I hurt. I promise."
"I'll be burdened with cleaning up the mess Void left behind too," Memory whimpered. "There is so much I need to fix."
Time approached him. "Memory, what Void did to Elemental wasn't your fault. Remember that for me."
It doesn't change the fact that I erased his memories in the first place.
Galaxy sat down and reached out a hand. Memory barely saw him through his blurry vision. He didn't know what Galaxy was thinking until his uncle gently nudged his shoulder, which made him flinch.
"Memory..." Galaxy whispered in a soft voice. "...I forgive you. I forgive you for everything you did. I know you want to change and feel overwhelmed by all your mistakes. I know that feeling too. Every day I'll try to fix my mistakes, so don't leave yourself to do all the work!" He rubbed the back of his neck. "Yes, I did have a relapse when I created Illusion, but I'm going to try even harder." He offered a hand again. "So can we start over? Please let me be a worthy uncle this time."
Memory dried his tears and looked at Galaxy's hand, unsure of what to do. He briefly glanced at Time, who gave a small nod. "Take the risk," Time said. "I'd love it if we all became a family again."
But Void was family, and he still hurt him. What if Galaxy would do the same? He had just admitted he only cared about him for his powers. The crushing weight of that concrete ball grew heavier, pressing into Memory's entire body. Would Galaxy create another concrete ball to chain him to? Would he become disappointed in him and his incompetence? What if he got frustrated with him? What if he still valued him only for his powers, and would get rid of him when he saw how bad he was at fixing things? Would he ever...do what Void did to him?
Would he hate him just because he was Memory?
Memory shuddered and the tears fell again. He buried his face into his hands, unable to stop the cries from growing louder.
"Woah!" Time cried. "Hey, hey, it's ok! It's ok! ...Father, why don't you leave us alone?"
"...I was hoping you'd say that. Memory...I'm so sorry. Please, please, let me know what I can do to make it up to you."
Footsteps clicked through the halls as Galaxy left. Soon the footsteps faded away, leaving Memory's cries to echo in the halls.
"Want to talk about what's wrong?" Time offered.
Memory was so anguished that he couldn't even respond. He didn't want to talk. He'd never talk about how much he feared Galaxy in front of his son. He was so foolish. Why was he even feeling this pain? This pain of imagining Galaxy hurting him again.
And now, Galaxy knew how vulnerable and afraid Memory felt around him. Well, for now. Memory thought about his magical arrows and how they could fix everything.
"...Memory," Time said in a low voice. "Are you thinking about erasing Galaxy's memories of today?"
"M...maybe," Memory hiccupped.
Time gave a worrisome look and got up. "You stay here. I'm going to find Sabre and ask if that therapist can come to talk to you now."
Memory froze. "I don't want to talk to anyone else today."
"I know you don't," Time said sympathetically. "But if you're thinking about erasing Galaxy's memories, I have no choice but to get you help."
"Well, if I promise I won't, can you not tell Sabre?"
Time shook his head. "It doesn't change the fact that you thought about it in the first place. You need professional help about this. Erasing people's memories every time you're upset or anxious is not healthy."
Without thinking, Memory formed a dart and threw it at Time. Time stiffened and stared blankly for a moment. As Time slowly blinked and scanned his surroundings. Memory quickly shielded his panic, which was easy to do with how powerful his anguish was.
"...Memory," Time warned again. "Are you thinking about erasing Galaxy's memories of today?"
"...No, I'm just upset. That's all. I don't know what to do." Why did he feel worse instead of better?
Time returned to Memory's side. "It's ok; I know this is all hard on you. Do you want to go to the Overworld and take a walk in the forest together? I'm happy to do that if it'll help clearing your mind."
After a deep breath, Memory nodded. "I'd like that."
"Would you like to go now?"
Memory sniffed and dried his new tears. "Yes, please." He forgot what fresh air felt like, and he wanted to remember.
Time smiled and helped him up. Memory smiled back and put on his tinted glasses. But before the two could take another step, thunder rumbled in the halls.
Memory darted his gaze around. "What's going on?"
"I-I don't know! Wait...Illusion!"
The cousins ran towards the source of the thunder. Soon, they saw Illusion in the halls, stumbling out of the cobblestone portal. Illusion stood up with a wobble, one hang digging into his messy hair. "CAN YOU ALL JUST BE QUIET?!"
Memory paled. "What's happening to him?!"
Illusion lifted his head, revealing his bloodshot, enraged gaze. "Things won't go smoothly for Galaxy Steve if you guys are present."
Time gasped, wearing a horrified expression. "I let Galaxy into my dimension, making his bond to Illusion exist again. We upset Galaxy and now Illusion's in distress until he does something about it!"
Memory froze, realization and guilt crashing down on him. Galaxy's upset because of me.
"Who upset him?!" Illusion demanded. He looked at Memory, his eyes flashing with shock, horror, rage, and guilt. "You..."
Time took a step forward. "Illusion, please calm down. Galaxy's bad mood is only temporary. Shall we work on the machine? The machine's the easiest way to complete your goal and – "
"THE MACHINE IS POINTLESS. I HAVE TO HELP HIM NOW," Illusion spat, causing Time to jump back. "YOU ONLY THINK IT'S EASY BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE YOUR THOUGHTS MIXED WITH SOMEONE ELSE'S. JUST BACK OFF – " Illusion suddenly winced and collapsed on the floor. "Oh Colors, what have I done?"
Time knelt down and embraced his trembling brother. "You're ok...you're ok..."
"NO, I'M NOT OK. NOTHING IS OK." Illusion clenched his eyes shut and his hands glowed pink. "I HAVE TO CAST AN ILLUSION TO MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY. STARTING WITH HIM."
"Illusion, don't – !"
Thunder roared. Memory screeched and fell to his knees. He buried his hands into his hair, a cold sense suffocating his thoughts.
There is no Void, a foreign thought echoed. You know that, and Galaxy knows that. There is no Elemental either. We're not missing anyone. Who is Elemental? Memory shook his head madly. He tried hard to distinguish what was real and not, but he couldn't figure out the difference.
I have no reason to be sad. Let Galaxy not remember anything.
If he doesn't remember who he hurt in the past, he won't be upset. He won't be upset when he sees me.
"Illusion, stop this!" Time pleaded.
Memory weakly looked up to see Illusion giving his brother an apathetic look. "You'll thank me later when you see how much this illusion makes us happy."
Illusion flicked his glowing hand at his brother. Time fell to the floor, clenching his head and struggling to stand up. Through gritted teeth, Time forced out, "Illusion...please...freeze!"
A new chorus of thunder overtook the previous one. Illusion gasped and screamed, "No! Why?!" and he froze in place, staring at Time with betrayed hurt.
Time shakingly got up while Memory collapsed to the floor, gulping down new breaths.
Time whispered soothing words to the frozen Illusion as he gently picked him up. "I'm sorry, Illusion, but I'll bring you back to normal once things calm down. It was my fault bringing Galaxy here. Memory, are you ok?"
Memory trembled as he got up, tearing up again. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I caused this. I'll-I'll go! I'll leave you guys alone!"
Time stiffened. "What?! Memory, don't go!"
Memory tore his teary gaze away. "This was my doing. I upset Galaxy and hurt everyone in this family. I can't stay!"
"No! Memory, please – !"
"I'm sorry. I have to go! I MAKE EVERYTHING WORSE." He bolted away. He heard Time shout and try to follow, but Memory surrounded himself in thunder and teleported away.
Word count: 3214
