A few months prior to the bloody slaughter at Petra's farm, private goons and Military Police officers released an order for them to leave their land once and for all because a landlord tied to the royal government had bought it. Petra's father attempted to reason it out as the measly land wasn't just their livelihood, but something passed down to them by their own ancestors.
You noticed Petra's eyes tightening while retelling the memory to you hence you held her hand and said, "You don't have to force yourself on telling this." She shook her head no and insisted to continue.
The officers were unyielding. Despite the constitutional rights Eldians have for their ancestral lands, a prophecy brought by the church and royalties led them to counter it. The king and the heir were having visions about an enormous power brought by a giant tree that will bring Eldia the greatest abundance known to mankind. It was said to exist somewhere within their lands hence they're seizing as many as possible. Once obtained, the properties will be used for Eldia's prosperity.
The prophecy was nothing but crack for the farmers who will lose their shelter and livelihood, a foolish reason strengthened by nothing but supporters who can't even prove their words—further glorified by those who are in power.
And that's when the Commander came.
He wasn't "the Commander" back then, he was just some kid the Strattman traitor brought with her from time to time. However, the young boy had so much knowledge of the law and freely disseminated the information not only for the sake of Ral's farm case but for everyone around the neighborhood who was at risk to experience the same. He stayed there the whole time—would go away for some errands, but still go back to them at the end of the day. His existence, alongside other guerillas in the community wasn't new. It's just that the family only came to completely understand them during the course of dispute. Not only was it hard for mere farmers to have leverage in court, but the municipality was also dominated by merchants eyeing their land.
Nonetheless, the guerillas secretly helped them procure the needed legal support. It was going smoothly since then, that is until one dawn came.
Three loud bangs were heard: one was for Petra's father who just had woken up to clean the farm. The second was for the concerned neighbor who often comes with him at the hearings, and the third was for their lawyer who generously offered service for free.
"You should've just complied," said the MPs upon having the family rush to the station, "then no one would get into this much trouble." While the young Petra was there—wailing and begging and screaming. They did nothing but sneer, at Erwin specifically, who went with the poor girl at the precinct, pretending as her relative.
That day, Petra thought that Erwin was too composed for the catastrophe. He is calm amidst the sneers, just as if he's giving her all the leverage to grieve while he confronts the bad guys himself. At the same time, she thought Erwin was one of those who would just quietly sneak away from their case after the situation got too hard to handle. She thought Erwin was one of those rich people who just went to them because they woke up in a quite generous mood.
However, as she and Erwin walk back he asked, "Are you angry right now?"
The young girl sniffed before nodding, "Of course I am."
"Are you scared?"
She stopped in her tracks and nodded again, now in embarrassment.
"I'm not going to tell you otherwise. Fear is natural for those who'd want to survive. What I'd like you to do, however, is to fight up front. At the looks of it, there's no chance to win the legal dispute now that they killed the lawyer. I know living in peace will be a great illusion to your family once the land gets taken away, too."
"What am I going to do, then? I'm willing to throw away my studies altogether to support my family but how would we be able to go further if we won't win the dispute? There's no hope for us if we lose!"
"No chance to win the legal dispute but that's it. Only the legal dispute. Those who are after your land already had the leverage at the court and yet still dared to use the gun. It is them who waged the war first. It's always been them, always been the case for the other farmers who decided to take arms thereafter to defend themselves."
"Are you saying we must," Petra gulped and shuddered at the thought of it, "join the rebels? But my father—"
"Told me to let you decide once he ends up dying. He said he trusts the way he brought you up." Erwin cut her off. "The units just finished investigating the massacre and we already know who did this to them. An encounter will commence three days from now to make them pay. Moreover, armed units will take the defensive around the area until another legal team comes to the rescue. We're not going to put you on the frontlines, but for us to do this we must have everyone in the area agree."
There, Petra realized that she was wrong at Erwin nor at anyone who came to help them in this case. They weren't doing this just because they woke up feeling generous. They're here because they understand. They're here to encourage them to fight. She cried then. She cried and cried and bowed her head in gratitude at the man. Erwin let him do so.
When she was calm and could look at him again he said, "We could all lose in this but we're going down fighting nonetheless. No need to thank one man."
After one resolute nod, she finally got the courage to ask, "Why did you join us?" she was about to call his name but then realized she didn't know it. No one who comes directly from the guerilla would introduce themselves with a name, "I mean, you look like a reputable person somewhere. You're really young too. Why?"
This time, he finally saw the grim boy smile a bit. His eyes were somewhere far away, "We all had our reasons to embark on a path full of struggles. In my case it was someone."
"Someone?"
"You must outlive this and pursue your studies. If we win, the unit will help your family in tending the farm," he replied. Petra thought he might not want to share something personal about himself until he added, "She just started attending traditional school recently. Maybe you'll meet there someday. I'm sure you'll get along."
And thus now, as Petra walked along the outskirts of the underground with you, she smiled at the Commander's words. He was right. You met at the university as two birds trying to fit in. You really did get along. And now you're about to embark on the same journey as comrades.
"He joined because of someone?" you asked with curled eyebrows, "I don't remember one in our town having similar experience as yours. Maybe because Car—someone from there ensured the small-scale farmers would get the privilege they deserve in their lands."
"Of course, silly. The Commander was talking about you. I only realized it now that I recalled it." Petra chuckled and added, "While working on our bases, we investigated the prophecy behind Eldia's prosperity—the one they foolishly reasoned out for their land aggression the past few years. Strange enough, it seems like the royal family is taking it seriously. They had sent their two greatest soldiers for the quest, one of them being your father. That's the reason why the Strattman traitor took you in according to the Commander."
Your limbs froze then. You certainly did not know any of this, let alone the fact that Carly is a part of it. However, if there's someone who needs to hear your questions and complaints, that must not be Petra.
"I'm sorry. Ever since I came here with the Commander, he hadn't answered any of my inquiries. I just urged him to have you orient me because he seems too occupied to be bombarded with my questions."
"He must be tensed. Your relation to the case was all but a conspiracy among our ranks. Now that someone just came to get you, you must really be an important asset to the royal family. The Commander told me he'd be the one to elaborate on that, though. For now, I'll just orient you more with regards to how we work here—" but Petra noticed the sullen look on your face so she considered, "or would it be better if you rest for now? I'm sure you're tired from traveling and all. It's almost dinner, too."
"No, continue." Indeed, you were getting too tired. She didn't even get into the gist, but the mention of your father working alongside the royal family seems to churn your guts despite not knowing the reason why. You felt like throwing up. It started when Erwin mentioned that name back at the cafe, too.
"Okay, tell me if you need a break." then Petra finally started, "The guerillas are categorized into three; the first is citizens who understand the reason why people—impoverished farmers being harassed and displaced by merchants, in particular—are being forced to take up arms to defend themselves. Those people help with logistical support. The second are those who actively work inside the movement all the while living lives on the surface. That's who I am now. The third and last are those who stay inside the ranks for good, eliminating their identities on the surface altogether. Given your security situation, you must be on the third."
"No," your breath hitched, "that can't be. There must be a way."
"I know, but this is all for your safety. Until we finish the investigation, you must—"
"How would I be able to investigate what happened to Furlan if I'll stay inside the underground, completely missing? I need to have Levi and Isabel with me at the very least."
"Do you not trust the Commander?"
It struck you, then. He repeatedly asked you that question before going here.
But then again, there are so many things about yourself that you're knowing just now—things that you must've known for years already. Trust is a two-way process, too. You know Carly would never have ulterior motives for taking you in but you certainly didn't ask to be kept in the dark all this time.
You decided to sigh and keep the concern until Erwin and you talk again. For now, you changed the topic. "You still have lots of things to explain to me," you glared playfully, "all this time I thought you were having a crush on my friend."
Petra laughed out loud at that. "Sorry, I am never a good liar. The Commander was quite amused with it too. But I wasn't lying when I said I admire him. We all do! When the Commander took leadership, he was able to flourish not only the battle strategies in guerilla warfare, offensive tactics for weapon procurement, and expanding units from the countryside to the countryside. He also ensured that education would reach the most impoverished citizens, so even if they don't arm themselves, they'd have the basic requisites to protect themselves by the law of the state. Thanks to his years of dedication, the government genuinely treats the guerillas as a threat now. The military interventions involving displacement just like what happened to my family had decreased."
"Then wasn't Furlan targeted by guerillas because he's the son of the newly appointed commander?"
"As much as the guerillas are armed rebels, they only seek those who had done atrocities directly to the peasants and other citizens. Furlan, despite being the son of high-ranking police, was a kind man. He's the only criminology student who often jives in with the community work hosted by the college advocates. Most people in that department often ridicule us, after all. The farmers love him, that's why we're really devastated by his death. More than anything, the guerillas and their supporters are one for finding justice for a man who recognizes their struggle."
"See? That's why I can't sit still in the underground for my own safety. We need to give Furlan justice too."
Petra held your hand to squeeze it all the while giving you a firm smile, "But we'll protect each other as we find it out. Talk it out to the Commander regarding your status, okay? I'm sure he'll understand. You're the reason he joined us, after all."
"I don't think I am—"
"She is the reason you joined, right, Commander?" Petra mused to the man that was now walking towards you.
"Sorry, what?" Erwin blinked. You're finally at the door of the underground HQ. Erwin specifically asked Petra to bring you here after orientation.
"Anna is quite uneasy. I'll leave her up to you." Petra waved you off to the man.
Which was lucky because you didn't react well to what she just called you. Your limbs tensed immediately. Your consciousness is throwing that name up.
"Are you okay?" Erwin noticed your expression, "You hadn't eaten since morning. The first thing you must worry about in this situation is your health. You won't be able to fight if it declines."
"Petra told me I have to eliminate my identity at the surface and stay inside the underground." you bit your lip anxiously, "Is there no other way?"
"It's what would protect you from your assailants."
"I know and I'm sorry. It's hard for everyone too."
"I understand your reluctance. That's not the only thing you need to do, after all."
"What else?"
"You'll conquer a new identity, one of which includes being betrothed to our highest of ranks."
What?
"You mean, your wife?"
"Yes, my wife."
"That's way too out of the blue," you muttered horrified.
"As displeased as you are at the thought of it, this is the wisest option I came up with. Don't worry, I won't let you do things against your will. All we have to do is pretend—"
You cut him off with your hand, "If someone else was the Commander I'd be bawling my eyes out in front of you right now. I don't mind if it's you. I just need to see the rationale behind it."
"That so? I thought you were about to cry just now."
You sneered, "Carly's downright cruel teasing didn't go to waste."
"Well, then. As I said, we released a statement that Anna is within us. You had to be connected deeply to the highest command because if they really are after Anna—" you flinched at the name again so he finally realized, "it's the name that you're most bothered about, aren't you?"
"I know it's a fake identity and all but who is she, even?" your inquiry garnered a change in his demeanor hence you repeated in a stern voice, "Who's Anna?"
"That's the name your birth parents had given you."
You stopped in your tracks.
"Wrong." you quickly spat, just as if someone spoke on your behalf.
Why?
"The only name I have is what I'm using right now," you added with a glare.
Why?
Here it is, a fragment of yours. And indeed for the first time in a while, you felt like it really did belong to you. At some point, it did.
But then again, your whole consciousness is throwing that name up. It can't belong to you. It must not belong to you.
"Right? After all, that was what you asked me last time. Who are you, really? Besides being the headline news decades ago, just who are you?" he went nearer. As he scrutinized your features and sensed utter fear, he cupped your cheeks. His face got stern, establishing that what he was about to say right now must be ingrained in you because it's the only way you could survive. He called your name then, "You are the person you chose to be—this beautiful name you go by, the friends you hang out with, the path you're about to take at this very moment—you are a person of your own. You don't have to embody Anna again and the thought of it repulses me as well, but you have to recollect whatever she had when she was still you. If they took the bait, that is."
"If they took the bait," you reiterated firmly, "I'm sorry if I sound selfish right now, but I don't want to let go of my life on the surface."
"You don't sound selfish to me. Not at all." he withdrew his hands from your cheek. He looked grim this time, a bit annoyed. "The premise of conquering another identity is the most practical way to keep you safe and yet you're still opting for the risk. I wonder why."
He saw through it.
You looked down at the floor in guilt.
"You want to serve Furlan justice, don't you? You want to participate in the investigation along with his friends."
"That's the best thing to do."
"Because that's what normal friends would do? That's how a normal person would react upon having their friend dead and normalcy is what would give you a semblance of comfort?"
"Erwin," you gave him a hard look at the slight taunt in his tone, "is that how you see me?"
"It's a question, little flower."
"I said stop calling me that!" your voice raised, obvious impatience laced the tone, "and Furlan was good to me. If I just went with him that day then—"
"Then you'd more likely end up the same."
"And the least I could do is to not leave them alone! Levi, Isabel, and those who want to give his death justice, I want to be with them in unraveling what happened! What's even wrong with that, when the assailants might be after me as well?"
"Is that what you really want to do?" he took a step forward, urging. You took a step backward until you leaned on the cold underground wall. His composure didn't teeter at all. Fear started to boil up inside you. "Not because you're still chasing the life you could never have due to your terrible fate?"
"I—"
"I'm asking for your sincerity, and perhaps that wouldn't be too hard to answer if you really have it in the first place," as his voice lowered and the menace in his eyes came more apparent, your fear heightened, "because it has to be clear that I have no other intention here but to ruin whoever dared to go after you. I'm not risking your security with anything else, not even with a measly friend."
Measly friend. That was it, a trigger to replace the fear with disdain. Your hand trembled as it almost went for a slap.
Since when did Erwin start being like this?
"Why are you talking like that? Didn't you meet him? Didn't you see how kind of a man he was? Isn't that encounter enough to understand that he was important to me and I wouldn't sit still to be protected while his death remains unsolved?"
His face was unreadable this time.
So then you added, "What you said wasn't entirely wrong, but my desire to be with them during their trying times isn't something to be taken against me. If not for you and your family back there, then I really might've become the person you speak of. I have no clue why our disposition didn't garner the same effect on you."
"Commander, there's an update in—" Petra cut herself off upon seeing your faces, "sorry, did I interrupt something?"
"Accompany her on the surface. Don't let anyone see her unless it's Levi or Isabel. Bring some crew for security." Erwin turned his back and started walking.
"Erwin, wait—"
"Both of you must be back by early morning," he didn't say more than that.
You tried to halt him but you just know it's futile. He's always been like this, just as if nothing had happened.
The environment inside Levi's home upon your arrival was grim, utterly so. There was a piece of paper at the coffee table while he and Isabel sat on the couch. They were deep in thought—confused and seething in anger. Upon realizing that they're not in the headspace to prepare their own dinner, you're the one who did.
"His death was gruesome," Isabel weakly muttered, "there were words written on his cadaver. Fucking words carved on his skin. The one who did that is nothing but deranged."
"What word?" you rushed in panic, "Elaborate right now."
"Something went wrong with the plan and my runt was the collateral. The royal family disregards that as they were utterly drawn to the good news—their men did a fruitful job. We're a step nearer to Eldia's prosperity and abundance! What's the credit for? They didn't even mourn for his death!"
You curled your eyebrows at her, "Who are you quoting, Isabel?"
"Kenny, that bastard! I overheard him lashing out when I visited their house. He knew that the mess he involved Furlan with was dangerous but he still—he still—"
"How did the royal family know they're a step nearer to their agenda?"
"I heard the name Anna but it wasn't clear what role they have in this," she answered with a sob.
Your gut churned with that, then. Erwin's hypotheses were right; your father must've left something on you hence they were finding you.
Levi passed the paper to you, "We weren't able to gather shit on what was carved. It's in a foreign language."
Foreign language. You utterly hoped it wasn't the case, but your guts were completely right. You almost fainted upon seeing the content. Levi and Isabel stood in alarm.
"Did you understand what it said?" he gave you a hard look, "No one we know was able to decipher it. No country goes by that language. They're trying to keep Furlan's death silent too."
You tossed the paper away and both hands gripped your head. Your breaths went shallow and the words on the paper disintegrated into voices.
The voices in your head.
"viri tui magnum officium fecerunt!
primus eques apocalypsis adest in forma diaboli ex arbore. qui eum evigilantes peribunt!
hoc corpus mortuum significat initium belli."
"Hey, what's up?" Isabel held onto your shoulders which you swatted away.
"Furlan w-was killed by—"
"Who?" This time, it was Levi holding onto your shoulders hard. His face was urging and dark, "What the fuck do these words mean? Tell us."
"your men had done a fruitful job,
the conquest, first horseman of the apocalypse, has come in the form of a devil from the tree,
this cadaver signifies the start of war."
For a while, only your silent sobs and ragged breaths covered the whole room. Isabel couldn't even cry anymore. She was too befuddled with what the words just meant.
"Tree," Isabel pondered, "was it perhaps the tree pertained by the church—the one bestowed upon humanity by gods?"
"The one for Eldia's prosperity, yes," you answered weakly.
"The piercing in Furlan's body was too unusual. Perhaps he even got it when he was dead. There was no bloodshed as well. He really just dropped and died. If not for the mark, it'd just be classified as a poor aneurysm." Levi considered.
Isabel was silent for a while, struggling to remember something, "I messed around with some of my cultist friends before and they kept on defending that the tree is regarded as a source of all beings. In this world, a powerful bearer of that tree exists—the royal family allegedly prophesied that the bearer is an Eldian. If they're found, we'll achieve the abundance the tree brings. But then I never heard about a horseman. What is a conquest horseman, even?"
Then another realization daunted you—your mind that was being conquered by the voices.
Bloodshot eyes open, face flushed in horror, you're in utter shock and it seems it will be staying for a while, "I think I've already encountered that devil."
