Parent Night Part 4
"Huh, you know Tilly I'm starting to think this is getting out of hand." Cricket pondered to his sister as Chip and Gloria took turns ruthlessly tearing into one another.
"Oh and here's an idea," Gloria seethed. "next time you open a Splish can, maybe try actually finishing it, instead of just drinking half and sticking it in the fridge!"
"Why? I'm clearly saving it for later." Chip argued.
"No, you always forget it's there and then open another one, next thing I know, there's like five half full Splish cans in the fridge, that I end up accidentally spilling while I'm reaching for the cream cheese; which y'all keep sticking at the back of the fridge for some reason!"
"Ha! We do that on purpose, otherwise you'd eat it all!"
"What?!"
"It's true." Chip scoffed with his arms crossed. "You get very greedy when it comes to cream cheese."
"Excuse me, I'm greedy!?"
"Oh this again." "You are so-"
Community Rue meanwhile had long since given up on trying to maintain even a sense of chivalry. She just sat there, exasperatedly resting her head against her closed fist.
"Alright, since we're being open and honest, honey,"
Uh oh
Gloria narrowed her eyes as Chip continued. "Paris-"
Cricket's eyes widened as he stretched himself up to a stand and leaned against Chip's arm. "Chip, I'm begging you, please don't finish that-"
"Is-"
Gloria's face twisted into a threatening grimace. "Don't. You. Dare-"
"Stupid!"
"That's it!" Gloria yelled as she lunged out of her seat and tackled Chip to the linoleum.
"Take it back!" Gloria shouted once she had Chip in a headlock.
"Never!" Chip wheezed. "Kids if I die here make sure your mother gets 40 years to life-"
"Enough!"
Everyone stilled as they all slowly turned to face an angry Rue, very clearly at the end of her rope.
"Everyone back in their seats. Now."
Gloria and Chip shared a brief side eye before awkwardly coughing, standing up, and getting back in their seats. Gloria adjusted her hair whilst Chip straightened his tie.
"I've never seen such awful behavior, from children, let alone parents." Rue scoffed. "You both should be ashamed of yourself, you're terrible role models!"
Gloria and Chip slowly nodded at that, bowing their heads in shame. "But, out of the two of us-" Chip cut himself, putting his head down again as Rue practically flayed him alive with her icy stare.
The community director then let out an exasperated sigh, shaking her head in dismay as she clicked her pen. "I was wrong, it's going to take a heck of a lot more than one night to fix all of your issues" With that Rue began jotting down some more stuff, muttering something about recommending them a couple's therapist when this was all over.
Cricket couldn't help ,but sigh, shaking his head as he leaned against Tilly and continued to scratch his arm. Talk about a whirlwind, at least if they brought their actual mom and dad there wouldn't be this much fighting.
Bill and Nancy fell back against their seats, arms both slouched as they just got through another bickering session.
"Alright this is getting ridiculous." Nancy sighed, her eyes closing in exasperation. "I'm sorry Bill, but I just don't understand what you see in Chip, he's so… reckless."
Bill seemed to raise his brow at that, but before Nancy could ask him about it, he replied. "Look, I just don't want Gloria looking after two kids all on her own. Okay? She'll be stressed out of her mind all the time and constantly wondering if she's doing the right thing, questioning everything she does as a parent-"
Nancy didn't mean to, but she interrupted her ex husband with another frustrated groan anyway as she righted herself. "Yeah well at least Gloria won't be a reckless influence, constantly having to make up for her mistakes, only to make even more tomorrow!" Nancy didn't know where those words came from; they flew out of her so fast.
"Nancy-"
"And at least Gloria won't get herself taken away for three blorting years, wondering if Cricket and Tilly will even recognize her when-" Nancy's eyes flew wide open as her words came to a stuttering halt.
Bill was no better, staring at her across the table in shock.
A pregnant pause settled between them.
"I..I.." Nancy swallowed, straightening in her chair.
Bill finally said something as he sighed, "You're uh,..you're not talking about Chip anymore, are you?"
They both knew the answer. Nancy slowly found herself nodding. The dots started to connect in her head. "And, earlier…you weren't talking about Gloria."
Bill nodded. "I…suppose I wasn't."
Another pause.
"Nancy I…" Bill palmed his forehead with another sigh. "You know that, that I don't…I never blamed you." He finally got out, gingerly reaching across the table to lay his hand over hers. "Not for a second, and that goes for the family too."
"Heh, not even Alice?" Nancy couldn't help ,but joke.
"Not even Ma." Bill replied, not an ounce of humor present in his voice.
A small smile crossed Nancy's features. "But it was hard right, raising Tilly and Cricket by yourself."
"Hardest thing I've ever had to do." Bill admitted. "Nancy I…I felt so lost without you."
Nancy took a breath at that, looking to the side. "Bill I'm so sorry….I know I never said it, but…I'm saying it now I'm sorry."
Bill's frown quirked just slightly as he finally eased the grip on Nancy's hand. "You don't need to apologize, I just….I want the kids to have someone like you in their lives, they…need you Nancy."
Nancy couldn't help ,but snort at that. "I'd say they need you more…"
Another pause briefly settled over them, before Bill finally let out an awkward cough. "I'm uh, gonna make some tea."
With that he stood up and headed for the counter whilst Nancy let herself slouch with relief, the tension finally gone from her shoulders.
Seconds later, and she noticed Bill raising his brow as he looked over a stray piece of paper left by the stove.
"Hey, do we know a, Community Rue?"
"Alright, I suppose that'll be it for now." Rue sighed as she straightened the stack of notes she'd taken. "You two have issues."
Gloria and Chip humbly nodded at that, very clearly edging towards the ends of their seats, ready to get up and leave once they were given the word.
Before they could though, Cricket stretched up to lean across Rue's desk. "So does this mean we're….good?"
Rue raised her brow. "Kid, with parents like these I'm surprised you're not even more trouble. You and sister are off the hook, for now."
Cricket and Tilly sighed in relief, subtly high fiving behind themselves. Momentary relief for the win.
Gloria awkwardly cleared her throat. "Well then, if that's all."
Rue nodded, also very clearly ready for them to leave. "Oh, and I suppose you ought to have this."
Gloria blinked as Rue dug a small canvas out of her drawer and handed it to her. "Your daughter's…art piece before for warned it's very disturb-"
Chip interrupted that statement by very clearly holding back a puke as his face went unnaturally pale. Cricket himself, had to turn his head so he didn't have nightmares.
"Huh….wow." Was all Gloria said as she took the canvas, the only one besides Tilly able to look at it. "Tilly this is…good."
Tilly blankly perked at that. "You really think so, Glo-I mean mama?"
Gloria nodded, absentmindedly petting Tilly's head. "The brush strokes look great and you really leaned into the use of negative space, didn't you?"
Tilly shrugged. "I let my hands do most of the talking….that and my horrifying nightmares."
Gloria nodded again as she continued to stare at the canvas. "Oh I can definitely see that. Probably gonna cry myself to sleep tonight."
Community Rue's stare flattened even further than it already had as she got up from her desk. "Right now, if you'll excuse me, I have to see about fixing the flowerbeds." Rue gestured to the mulchy massacre just underneath one of her office windows. "As you can see, your son had a quite field day tearing out the daisies during his, little meltdown."
Cricket shrunk into himself with a nervous laugh. Yeah, he was out of it. And incredibly itchy for some reason. Speaking of-Cricket stuck his tongue out in concentration as he scratched his arm some more.
Gloria raised her brow as she noticed. "Uh Chip, you've got lotion in your purse right?"
"I might have some in my, satchel." Chip clarified as he lifted his purse into his lap and started digging around for some. "Oh and by the way those aren't daisies."
Community Rue frowned. "Excuse me."
"Those aren't daisies." Chip repeated as he handed Cricket a bottle of anti itch lotion before pointing out the window. "They're Saisies, Daisies's cousins."
Cricket's eyes widened in realization. Oh yeah, he remembered Dad warning him and Chip about them one day while they were planting carrots.
"They look exactly alike except Saisies's have egg shell colored petals instead of white and they're also incredibly toxic, known to cause unbearable itchiness and irritabil-...wait." Chip's eyes narrowed as realization quickly wrapped its way around his head. "Cricket…were you near the flowerbed when you went feral?"
"Oh yeah, standing right next to it." Cricket laughed. "Why do you-Ohhhh."
"Wait, that means." Gloria shook her head in disbelief. "Cricket you were in the right?!"
As soon as she said that, Chip and Gloria's heads snapped back to Community Rue who looked completely stunned. "I-"
"So wait," Chip scoffed as he stood up. "You mean to tell me, as a proud substitute community director, you completely disregarded our son's safety and well being."
"Well I-"
"And, you called us bad caretakers." Gloria joined in as she crossed her arms.
Rue placatingly put her hands up. "I'm so sorry I didn't-"
"You're lucky we don't sue." Chip threatened, leaning forward to slam both hands on the desk before leaning back. "Fortunately for you, I'm very forgiving." Chip lied as he hefted Cricket into his arms.
"Now if you'll excuse us, we've got a sick child to attend to." At Chip's pointed look, Cricket took the queue and faked a sad little cough. "Let's go kids." Gloria nodded, taking Tilly's hand in her own and following Chip to the door.
Rue couldn't have looked guiltier if she tried. But, because Chip was Chip, he couldn't help himself ,but add a dramatic door slam on their way out.
"Oh my gosh." Gloria panted after a second of walking down the hall in silence. "We did it. It's finally over!"
"I can't believe it, I actually remembered something about farming!" Chip cajoled, adjusting his grip on Cricket. "I don't care what anyone says, I'm an awesome Bill."
"Oh you are now?"
"Uh duh, that's what I just…" Chip trailed off as everyone's eyes widened and they all paused to turn and see a very unhappy looking Dad standing to the side of the hall with his arms crossed. Next to him, was a very unhappy looking Mom.
"Aw, picklesnakes." Cricket let his head fall in disappointment as he hopped down from Chip's arms. "Dad look I-"
"Everyone, go wait in the truck." Dad said sternly.
"But Dad I-"
"Now."
Cricket and Tilly lowered their heads in shame as they and Gloria started dragging their feet down the hall.
Meanwhile Chip patted Dad's arm as he stood beside him. "Amazing job showing authority Bill, it's important not let them walk all over-"
"You too, Bill." Dad said pointedly as he turned to Chip and took his hat back.
The blonde sighed, slouching as he walked away. "Worth a shot."
"Oh…well that explains alot." This, Community Rue said after Bill and Nancy finished explaining everything.
"Yes, and we are so sorry." Bill repeated with sincerity. "Whatever trouble they caused-"
"You know it's kind of funny though." Rue suddenly interrupted. "For a moment, I really thought they were your kids' parents…"
Nancy blinked at that, turning to look at Bill.
Huh…
"Alright," Bill began as he hopped into the Kludge and waved goodbye to Ma who volunteered to drive Gloria's car home. "Good news is, Community Rue's willing to forget tonight ever happened."
Cricket and Tilly sighed in relief from the back.
"The bad news is you're all still in a heap of trouble." Bill continued firmly. Nancy backed him up with a stern nod as she at everyone over her shoulder.
"I'm sorry Dad." Cricket began, pityingly. "I just really didn't want to miss Remy's birthday."
"Who said anything about missing Remy's birthday?" Bill asked with his brow raised as he started the Kludge. "Y'all are gonna help me with spring cleaning tomorrow."
Nancy raised her brow. "Bill, it's fall."
"Never too early to start Nancy." The farmer replied as everyone groaned in relief from the backseat. "Gloria and Tilly y'all can help organize the kitchen drawers, Chip and Cricket you're gonna clean the chimney."
-everyone except Chip, who threw his hands up with a desperate sob. "Whhhhhhyyyy?!"
"Aw, there, there. Chip." Cricket tried as he petted the blonde's arm. "It'll be okay."
"No it won't." The former ceo hiccupped. "I'm gonna have to wear a hairnet!"
Bill tuned out the rest of Chip's complaints, focusing on the road as they drove.
But, not before sharing a look with Nancy.
That night, after everyone was fast asleep. Nancy and Bill finally picked a guardian…or should they, guardians.
