A/N
Ummm... it wasn't supposed to be this way. This chapter didn't exist before yesterday. The one I had planned, that I drew on my own experience for, that will be the next chapter. But... Hitomi told me she had a story to tell. So I had to include it. Blame her that you get another chapter before the reunion.
But I hope you enjoy it.
Also, I wrote a bonus scene for chapter 9. Check it out on my profile. It's funny and only 650 words. Well, I think it's funny. You might need to read it after this chapter, I don't know. Let me know what you think.
Song inspirations? Tamer Animals, by Other Lives. Maybe not the lyrics, but the moooood. You know? Especially when I play it on my surround sound with the bells. *dies a little inside*
Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Escaflowne.
Chapter 13: Bide and Seek
The cries pierced her sleep in a plaintive celebration of life, rescuing her from the helplessness of her dream. Blinking her eyes slowly open, Hitomi wondered if it was possible to adjust to the wailing of a newborn baby, if she'd ever be able to sleep through it. She couldn't be annoyed, though. Every time she heard crying, her heart beat with a painful thrum of joy at the sound.
The queen sat up and rested her head against the fragrant cedar wall, closing her eyes to steal what additional rest she could. The cries grew intermittent. Someone, probably Crystalline but maybe Lissa, was soothing the baby. The light coming under the closet door was bright, so even though her head was groggy as if she had slept the day away, she hadn't.
For a while, she listened to the sound of voices and movement and water in the next room. When the baby eventually quieted, she guessed it was feeding. That was always the most important thing, after the crying.
Hitomi let out a long sigh.
She'd seen Van again. She'd seen him collapse yet again.
It still made her sick, no matter how many times she'd had the dream.
Why? Why was she seeing this when there was no way she could get to him? The heavy snowpack was only just starting to soften. It would be weeks before the roads were dry enough for her to travel, and by then the now-hibernating dragons would be out full force, hunting. It was the worst time of year to travel.
All too well she recalled the look on Van's face across the table, that flicker of fear and panic he'd tried unsuccessfully to subdue as he grappled with the idea that a dragon had stalked her and gotten her horse. She'd downplayed it on purpose then, but now, faced with the choice a second time, she knew she couldn't risk herself again. She knew that he'd hunted his dragon in the spring, as soon as he could after his fifteenth birthday, and she could only imagine his thoughts on the idea of her attempting a trip at the same time of year.
She couldn't risk herself traveling under so many challenging conditions, she knew that, but every time she woke from her dream, the frustration clawed at her lungs and sent bile up her throat.
With another breath, she pressed a hand to her roiling belly and focused on calming herself down.
She needed water.
Lurching up, Hitomi slid the closet door open and went to the washstand in the alcove for refreshment. Mid-afternoon sunlight cast the grasping shadows of bare trees through the small window and onto the floor. The wood-paneled walls shone a cozy gold in the light. Outside, the old, filthy snow was turning to murky slush.
After taking a drink and splashing her face, the queen looked herself over in the small, round mirror on the wall. Her hair was in its ever-present braid around her head, a dusty, golden crown of sorts she had become known for. By this, people around the capital knew it was her without even seeing her face. She might have preferred to keep her head covered in the winter had it not been for the children. In this filthy, colorless city, where everyone had similar coats and hats sewn from similar fabric, her golden crown of hair stood out to the little ones.
How she loved hearing their cheerful voices amongst the ruins of the city. What had started out as them greeting her from their perches had turned into a winter-long, day-to-day game of hide-and-seek. Whenever she walked through the streets, the children would call to her. She would step a bit out of her way, pretend to not see them (or really not see them if they were very good), and they would giggle hysterically as she dramatically gave up the search. Kids of all ages joined in, and it gave levity to the adults, too. Admittedly, it was something of an encumbrance to her, and there were times she did cover her head if she was on urgent business, but otherwise, she enjoyed the game. It was a small thing that helped keep up the morale. If children were laughing, the adults could breathe a little easier.
She tilted her chin, wiped a stubborn smudge off her jaw, and carefully tucked a few stray hairs back into her braid.
This would have to do. She'd waited long enough. She wanted to see the baby.
After a quick stop at the locked cubby where she kept all her gifts, she peered around the door into the room where Crystalline was helping the new mother after her bath. Considering a new baby had just come into the world, the room was pleasantly tranquil and languid. The fire crackled, Lissa bounced gently and hummed softly by the window—the new bundle in her arms—and the women's feet shuffled softly as they moved together towards the bed.
A pile of bloodied linens lay ready to wash by the large, dripping washbasin. Washing those had become Hitomi's job after a birth. It was one way she could contribute, and she liked doing it because it was a useful skill that served to make her arms stronger and keep her warm at the same time.
Crystalline looked up and brushed her graying hair from her eyes. "Majesty," she said reverently, cheerfully, using the honorific instead of the less formal Lady Hitomi she preferred her to use when they didn't have company. "Nami here has welcomed a healthy baby boy."
Hitomi smiled as the tired mother sat upon the bed. "Congratulations, Nami," she said, using her name though she'd only seen her in passing. "I'm very pleased your son is healthy. How are you feeling?"
"Oh just fine, Highness," she said with surprising vigor in her voice. "This is my third. It still hurt, but this time was so easy."
"That would explain why you were so quiet," Hitomi said, and Lissa laughed softly by the window.
"Yes, Majesty, you slept through her entire labor," Crystalline said as she fitted Nami with extra padding.
"I think I did, yes," Hitomi answered with a smile, stepping tentatively into the room. "I have a gift for you, Nami" she said when the woman was settled. She presented her package to the new mother. It contained a blanket and diapers she'd made herself from the scraps of the Asturian fabric brought last fall. Sewing gifts like these had kept her sane through the frigid winter, and it pleased her to present one to every new mother.
"Ah, thank you, my Queen," Nami said, tears springing to her eyes as she took the wrapped fabric package. Wiping her face with a blanket, she rested back onto the pillows. "That's too generous of you. I've heard you do—," she began, but broke into racking sobs.
Every woman had been different, but most of them cried at one point or another after the births of their babies. The change in their lives was so dramatic that the queen didn't blame them.
"Nami, hush, you need to sleep while your son sleeps," Crystalline said firmly.
"Yes, ma'am," Nami said through her tears as she curled into the bedding.
New mothers often stayed after their labor, for a few hours or a night, depending on how they fared. Crystalline's little two-room home, hidden by ancient trees and tucked back into the cliffs, was one of the only left standing after the attack. Since she and her daughter were midwives, it only made sense that when a woman's time came, they could come here to labor and rest in comparative cleanliness and comfort, if they wanted. About half of the twenty or so women who had babies over the winter had chosen to do so, and most of those who did survived. It was harder for Hitomi to think about the ones who didn't make it…she often sobbed herself to sleep whenever she heard of another death, and if she let herself dwell on it, her heart would break all over again.
But for today, there was joy, a new little light amidst a blackened, sodden city.
"Do you mind if I hold your son?" Hitomi asked softly.
The woman let out a sob. "Please do, Highness," she said, tearfully peering up to watch.
Lissa brought the baby to her, and Hitomi took him, cradling him in her arms, bouncing innately as she walked to the window. His skin was still covered in wax and his face swollen from birth, but he was red and healthy with a pointed nose and little round chin. His hand was pressed against his cheek, and she watched, fascinated as he suckled on one fine-nailed thumb. When his little mouth opened and he let out a small, shuddering whimper before pursing his lips closed again, Hitomi's chest rose with emotion and hot tears rolled down her cheeks.
Holding one of her new little citizens never failed to make her emotional. She cried every time.
Hitomi, as an only child, had never appreciated babies before. They'd been strange things she'd tolerated once in a while. Upon becoming Queen, she'd taken her mother's advice to focus on her people. The children had taken to her almost immediately, and upon becoming a survivor, she'd grown possessively protective over them. She'd zealously done her best to make sure orphans had something like a family to live with, rather than sequestering them in one central home fraught with too many children.
Soon after her return in the fall, when the leaves had almost all dropped off the trees, she'd come across a shelter and a handful children with only a twelve year old in charge. Hitomi had taken it upon herself to stay with them until their guardian returned. It turned out, the mother had gone for the midwife. When she returned the next day with a new baby girl bundled to her chest, the mother had insisted that Hitomi hold a newborn for the first time in her life. It was then she decided to do more for the babies and mothers. It was by this circumstance that Crystalline came into her life.
Unlike most women, who saw Hitomi first and foremost as a queen and thus as someone with all the answers, Crystalline had immediately seen that Hitomi needed someone to mother her. Crystalline had cleared out a closet for the queen, installing a little bed there for Hitomi's especial use. At first, she used it just for naps when she was out and about. Soon, she began staying more often when she was unwell. When she was better, it became a place where she could cry herself to sleep in peaceful solitude. Finally, just before her father's visit, Yukari took on the care of Amano's orphaned nieces and nephews; it no longer felt right for the queen rely on her as a lady's maid, taking up her valuable space. Minister Arlott agreed that Crystalline's was a suitable residence, and Hitomi moved in with her and her daughter for good.
Most days, the queen was busy overseeing provisions with Arlott, meeting with the mayors she'd appointed to watch over different districts, or checking the conditions of the city infrastructure with Advisor Steppe. But when she could, and especially when snows were heaviest, the queen spent a great deal of time with the midwives. Lissa usually kept herself busy helping with mothers and babies outside the house, never growing familiar with the queen like Crystalline had. It was Crystalline who became not so much a mother as an aunt, a warm, soft set of arms, someone who she could turn to. Her home quickly became her safe-haven. It was where she learned about bodies and babies, about cooking and cleaning. She sewed all the quilts and diapers here. Her father visited her here for an evening. Here, she could breathe in the comforting, homey scent of cedar and center herself after spending a day out in the cold visiting her people. And, in spite of the hard crates under her bed and the bustle around the little home, she could sleep soundly.
Still, even after the entire winter, she couldn't sleep through the breathtaking sounds of a new life announcing itself to the world. And today, gazing down into the face of this freshly born baby boy, she couldn't help marveling at such a beautiful little human being. This one was was especially lovely, too. Hitomi could practically see the swelling subsiding before her eyes, and his head was well-shaped—.
Bang, bang, bang.
A loud knock on the front door made the baby flinch, and Hitomi rocked him, looking up towards the door and back, hoping he wouldn't wake.
He didn't, but Nami, who'd finally fallen asleep, did. Startled by the noise, she cried out and reached for her baby boy. Hitomi handed him over. Lissa had gone to answer the door, but Hitomi hadn't paid attention, she'd been so transfixed by the protective way Nami curled up with her baby in her arms. Only distantly did she register a familiar voice and rushing footsteps coming closer.
"Queen Hitomi," Amano was saying. "Oh good, you're here," he said breathlessly, as if he'd run all over the city to find her.
Hitomi turned to him, her heart skipping a beat. Had something happened to Yukari or his nieces and nephews? Were they okay? As she opened her mouth to ask, Amano beat her to it.
"A merchant ship has landed," he said, his hazel eyes wide with excitement.
Hitomi braced herself with a hand against the wall as the blood drained from her face. She struggled to take a breath. "Do they have news of the war? Is it stocked with supplies? Do we know where they're headed?" she asked in a rush, her lungs deflating. She'd been hoping for a merchant ship for weeks so she could restock provisions. Van had told her where one store of gold was hidden away.
"I didn't ask about the war, but they have supplies," he said between panting breaths. "I think they're heading to Asturia."
Like a breeze had rushed up, the hair on her neck and arms prickled.
Her mind and the room grew strangely still as a somber sense of purpose fell over her. She let out an easy, steady breath and turned to Crystalline, who had more than once comforted Hitomi when she awoke crying from her dreams. Crystalline met her look, her dark eyes sober, her lips forming into a small, knowing smile.
Hitomi nodded at her.
This was her chance. She'd assure her people were taken care of, but then...
She was going to Van.
