Disclaimer: I only own my OCs

A/N: Just a heads up, this chapter kind of broke me while I was writing it, as it brought back a lot of memories as to when I lost my dad, so I hope that it is okay! This won't be a fun one, Alexa will be going through a lot and I do feel bad for putting all of you through this! I hope I've made her reaction to it all realistic!

XXX

When you are a child, they never tell you that sometimes it can take only a second for your life to change. In the blink of an eye, everything will be different. No, that is a lesson that you have to learn the hard way. And I had done that, several times over. I had lost my parents in the most unexpected way possible. I had lost Luke and Jazz without expecting it. Mason. John. Alaric. All of them had died without warning. So I had lost my fair share of people. Which made what happened next so incredibly unfair.

I was still oblivious to the end of life as I knew it while I was searching the tunnels for my siblings. After making sure that Rebekah had healed well, I had allowed her and Damon to persuade me to go find the idiots that I was related to. It wasn't that I didn't want to go and find them. I was just scared to go into those tunnels after what I had just experienced. My top was still soaked in my blood, it was sticking to my skin as I walked through the darkness. There wasn't much natural light, the deeper that you got. And even though I knew that I was strong enough to protect myself, the tunnels scared the shit out of me. Even as I called out my siblings' names, I hated myself for making any noise. But I had to find them. And since there were a lot of tunnels to cover, I knew that the best way to do that was to call out for them.

It was the tone of my brother's voice that first had that sinking feeling appearing. I hadn't heard him sound so lost, so distraught, in such a long time. And I knew that it wasn't a good sign. But I couldn't let myself believe that something was wrong. No, not after I had spent so long being afraid to come down here. There was absolutely no way that something had happened to my family because I had allowed my fear to take over and stop me from coming down into these tunnels. There was no way that I would be punished like that. For having emotions, for doing the human thing and letting those emotions take a hold of me.

I followed the sound of Jeremy's voice into a cavern. Ordinarily, I would have noticed the alter in the middle, the way that it was set up as a tomb. The small puddle of blood on the floor and the thorny vines on the alter. But this wasn't an ordinary time. For the moment that I stepped into that chamber and saw my siblings, my life ended.

I clutched at my chest as I felt literally break in two. The sharp pain banished all rational thought from my mind. Because there was no way that I was seeing what I was seeing. It was impossible. Some kind of hallucination or trick. It had to be. There was no way that this was real. That any of it was real. It was impossible. All of it was impossible.

But the grief on Jer's face as he cradled Elena's body close, the broken way that he called out my name. I couldn't pretend that it wasn't real. Because I hadn't heard that tone since Anna died. Since Vicki died. Since our parents died. Since that kid had lost someone else that he loved. Because now, there was no someone else to add to that list. Because…

I wasn't aware that I was in front of them until my knees hit the ground. The sharp rocks dug into my skin but I didn't care. Because I feel how cold my twin's body was now. I couldn't hear her heart beating. Her eyes, forever open, stared up at me. Accusing me of not being there for me. Because I sent her down here. I forced her to leave my side, to leave my protection, and enter these tunnels. I didn't follow her until it was too late. I let my fear take hold. And these were the consequences of my actions.

My guilt suffocated me, swallowing me alive. It took over everything. Consuming my mind. My body. My soul. I couldn't see past it. I didn't want to see past it. I didn't want to accept the truth of what was in front of me. I couldn't accept it. I refused to. Because there was absolutely no way that this was happening. Because there was no way that…

I only looked away from my sister's accusing gaze when my brother whispered my name. His voice was thick with tears, broken with grief and shock. Tinged with pain. It was enough to get me to look away. I needed to look away. I couldn't accept the sight in front of me. And so, I wouldn't. I would believe it. I wouldn't accept it. I wouldn't let this stay like this. Because there was absolutely no way that…

"Hey kiddo," I tried to smile, failing miserably, as I reached out to cup his face. I could see the beginnings of a bruise on his cheek. Normally it would be enough to get my blood boiling. But I couldn't feel anything beyond the numbness. It was consuming me. Drowning out the grief and guilt and pain. "Hey, don't cry. It's going to be fine. I'm going to make it all okay. I'm going to fix everything. I promise."

"How?" Jer asked as I continued to nod, my eyes slightly too wide. I couldn't stop repeating those words. Because I would fix this. I would fix all of it. I wouldn't let it stay this like, I wouldn't let this mistake be permanent. The numbness was driving me to the edge. The sight in front of me was driving me to the edge.

Because…

Because there was no way…

Because there was absolutely no way that…

Because there was absolutely no way that Elena was dead.

There was no way that my twin sister was dead.

XXX

Damon's POV

We stood just outside the entrance to the tomb, where I could keep an eye on what was happening inside. The moment that Stefan had found the family like this, he had sped off to find me. I wasn't that far away, as I just so happened to be making my own way through the tunnels. But when my brother told me what he had found, I immediately dashed over. My heart broke at the sight before me.

Alexa had glanced up when I entered, her eyes wide and empty. The broken look within them consumed everything. There were no emotions in there. But I knew that it would be temporary. The moment that she accepted what was in front of her, that Elena had been killed, it would consume her. And I knew that she would be tempted to do something that she would never want to do. She would turn it off. And I wouldn't blame her if she did. I could get Alexa through most things, including taking an innocent life. But the death of her twin sister? No, I couldn't get her through this. No one could.

While she comforted her brother, the slightly hysterical edge to her voice worrying me, I let Stefan take me out of the room. He had a shocked look of his own on his face, like he couldn't quite believe it either. Not that I could blame him. None of us expected Elena Gilbert to die. She had survived everything that had come her way. And to see her body, to see her lying so still in Jeremy's arms, it was hard to believe.

"How'd this happen?" I asked softly, resting a hand on Stefan's shoulder. I knew that this would affect my brother in a painful way. He still loved the older Gilbert twin and now she was gone. He would never get the chance to make up for his actions and he would never know if it was possible for them to resume their relationship.

"It was Katherine," my brother replied, his voice filled with grief. He was doing a good job in staying strong, but he wouldn't be able to keep it up for long. And I didn't know how bad it would get when it did hit him properly. "She must have been following us this whole time. From what Jeremy said, Katherine targeted Elena specifically. She chose to use her for this."

I let out a curse, shaking my head. Of all the people to kill Elena Gilbert, it just had to be Katherine Pierce. She was a curse upon us. And now she had broken my girl. Because I knew that it would break Alexa. I could see it in her eyes already and that was without her accepting the truth. As I glanced over at my girl, I saw the empty alter, "What about the cure? Or Silas?"

"Whatever it was in there, it's all gone," my brother sighed, tapping his fingers against his legs. "There was a body, what we assume was Silas, but as for the cure? Jeremy never saw it. Just a box that he assumed it was in."

Another glance into the room reminded me of the pool of blood. It wasn't a lot, but it didn't belong to Jeremy. And other than the wounds of her neck and wrist, it didn't belong to Elena. So there was only one person that could have been bleeding in that room.

"Where the hell is Bonnie?"

"I have no idea. The hunter stabbed her in the back, but she was gone when Jeremy woke up. And so was Silas," Stefan glanced back into the room, his gaze fixed on Alexa. My girl was busy running her fingers through Jeremy's hair, his head pressed against her shoulder. It was like she was actively avoiding touching her sister's body. "Damon, you know that it won't be long until Alexa actually accepts that Elena is dead. This numbness won't last forever."

"I know," I sighed, watching as Alexa flinched when her fingers accidentally brushed over Elena's cheeks. While I knew that my girl's capacity for denial was quite impressive, I knew that it wouldn't protect her from this for too long. The evidence of what happened was undeniable. "And when it does hit her, she won't survive it. Look, I need you to get them home while I go to find Bonnie. If anyone can help us fix this, it is her."

"And what if she can't?" my brother's voice was soft, like he didn't want to ask the question. But we both knew that it needed asking, even if we didn't want to think about it. Because if Bonnie couldn't fix this, then everything would change. And nothing would be the same again.

"Then at least she will be there to help us deal with the fallout," I muttered, shaking my head before walking back into the room. Alexa didn't look at me until I crouched down next to her. Jeremy's head was still resting against her shoulder, but that didn't stop her from pulling me in close. I cupped her cheek, allowing her to rest it against my chest. One hand continued to hold her brother close while the other grabbed mine, squeezing hard.

"Hey baby," I sighed into her hair, my thumb rubbing her cheek. "I need you to go with Stefan, okay? He's going to take you home."

"What about you?" she mumbled, her voice cracking, even as her eyes remained dry.

"I'm going to go find Bonnie," I replied, meeting Jeremy's eyes when he shifted to look at me. I knew that the kid knew the truth. He had accepted that his oldest sister was dead, even if the thought tortured him. But I could help him by brining Bonnie home. Even if she couldn't do something to help Elena, she would be there to look after him when Alexa broke.

My girl just nodded in reply, "Good. We need Bonnie. Bring her home to us."

"I will, baby. I will."

XXX

Alexa's POV

I barely remembered the journey home. I couldn't even tell you how we got home. Just that Stefan never left our side. Throughout it all, he always kept a hand on Jeremy's shoulder or he held mine. He never left us alone, no matter what. And I did appreciate that. Deep down. Beneath the numbness. And one day I would be able to thank him for it. But not now. I couldn't force the words out now.

Jeremy was the first one through the door, unable to be next to our sister any longer than he already had been. The kid immediately walked into the kitchen. He pulled Jenna up from where she had been sat at the dining table, hand settled on her growing baby bump, and wrapped his arms around her. Our aunt froze in shock for a moment before quickly hugging him back. Jer's face was buried in her neck, even with the height difference, and Jenna ran her fingers through his hair, gently soothing him.

Caroline, who had been kneeling down when we entered, looked up. There was a bowl of soapy water next to her, with the bubbles covering the floor and the yellow gloves on her hands. After glancing at Jeremy, she stood up, a welcome smile on her face as she said, "Hey, you're all home. I was just trying to clean the burn mark where Kol…" she trailed off as she glanced behind me. I knew what she was looking at it. It was Elena. My sister was wrapped in a blanket while the other vampire carried her. He had been given the task of keeping her safe until we got home. Until I could take over. "…I couldn't get the spot out."

I could see Caroline staring at Stefan with wide eyes. I had assumed that he had called home and warned the rest of our little gang. But judging from the look on Care's face and Jenna's heartbroken gasp, he had not. Our aunt stared at the b… at Elena, in Stefan's arms, and pulled Jeremy even closer to her body. Not that the kid cared too much. He seemed more than happy to soak up as much comfort as he could from Jenna.

"I'm going to take Elena up to her room," Stefan's voice was soft, just like it had been since he found us in the cavern. It was like he was trying not to spook me. Which was ridiculous. I wouldn't get spooked. There was nothing to get spooked over. Everything was fine. Everything would be fine. I wouldn't have it any other way.

"I'll come with you," I muttered, already moving towards the stairs. I couldn't bear the see the grief-stricken look on Jenna's face any longer. It was threatening to break through the numbness. And I couldn't let that happen. Not yet. I wasn't ready for it yet. I wasn't ready for any of it yet. "She needs to be kept comfortable."

When I got to my sister's room, I gestured for him to rest her on the bed. While the older vampire carefully laid her down, I grabbed one of her comfortable blankets from the window seat. I knew that my sister would want to be kept comfortable. And that meant relaxing on her bed with a blanket. Until we got Bonnie back home, there wasn't much that I could do to look after her. But I could do that.

Once I had placed the blanket over her, I pulled over the stool from the makeup table. I wanted to stay by her side but I also couldn't bring myself to sit on the bed. Something inside of me just screamed at the thought of it. So I compromised by sitting on the stool next to the bed. I faced the doors, not wanting to be caught by surprise if anyone entered. I couldn't take any more shocks. Not today. Not ever. I didn't know how I would react if anything else happened.

Once I was settled, my legs crossed and hands settled on my calves, I glanced up at Stefan as he came to stand beside me. He looked at my sister as she rested peacefully on the bed, blanket covering her, a pained expression on his face. I don't know why he looked so pained. He must have known that I would fix this, that I would make it all better. There was no way that my sister would remain like this.

Eventually, as I just stared down at the blanket on Elena's bed, the older vampire sighed and gently placed a hand on my shoulder. It was enough to distract me from my thoughts and I looked up at him. He stared down at me with a soft expression before quietly asking, "Can I get you anything?"

I shook my head, "Nah, I'm good. But can you let me know when you hear from Damon or Bonnie? I want to make sure that I have everything that I need for whatever spell Bon will do."

The younger Salvatore hesitated for a moment before sighing, "Do you really think that Bonnie can cast a spell to bring Elena back-"

I cut him off before he could finish that sentence. I still couldn't hear the words. I still couldn't say them. And so, I would do everything to make sure that no one said them. It was all that I could do to stay sane. As I returned my gaze back to the blanket, I mumbled, "Bonnie has never let us done before. I know that she won't do so this time."

Stefan didn't have anything to say to that. So he just nodded and left the room, leaving the door open behind him. I didn't mind too much. At least with the door open, I could see when someone approached the room. I could make sure that no one snuck up on us. I couldn't let anything happen to my sister. She needed to be protected. From everything.

XXX

I sat in silence, still staring at the blankets. The only time that I moved was to lift my head to see if anyone was in the hallway. Not that anyone had come upstairs since Stefan left. Oh, I knew that they were still in the house. I could hear them talking quietly downstairs. Jeremy and Stefan were updating the other two on what had happened on the island. I had tuned out their words, for the most part. But every now and then, I would hear Jenna sob or Caroline gasp.

It wasn't until I heard them start to talk about what happened in the tomb, that I made a proper effort to tune out their words. I focused on everything else possible, on the electricity buzzing in the walls, on the birds in the sky, on the sound of our neighbours chatting. Everything that was around us. So that I didn't have to listen to that story. Because I just couldn't do it. I couldn't take it. It was too painful. I couldn't even believe that it was true. Let alone listen to it.

I was so focused on not listening that it took me a few seconds to realise that I wasn't alone. It wasn't until Jenna cleared her throat that I looked up. She was stood in the doorway, a sad look on her face. I sighed and beckoned her over, ignoring the tears in her eyes. My aunt had wiped away the tears that had fallen, but she couldn't do anything about her red eyes and blotchy skin. It probably didn't help that she began to tear up again, every time that she looked at the bed.

"Hey, Jenna," I gave her a weak smile as she settled in front of me. It was clear, as she settled on the bed, that she didn't want to disturb it too much. But it was also clear that she didn't want to look at it. I couldn't blame her. I didn't want to look at it either. Which was why I had memorised the pattern on the bedsheets. I could practically draw it from memory now. "How's it going?"

"I feel like I should be asking you that," she sniffed, before her face crumpled. I quickly pulled her forward into my arms as she started to sob. I could feel her tears soaking through my top as she rested her face against my shoulder. I just rubbed her back and let cry it out. I knew that there was nothing that I could do to make her feel better. Not now. Not until we got Bonnie back. "I can't believe it. I should never have let any of you go to that island, to go looking for that stupid cure. And now the worst has happened, my worst fear. Elena-"

I gently hushed her before she could utter those words. I felt bad for interrupting her while she was in this state. I really did. But I just couldn't hear those words. So I just gently rubbed her back, holding her close while I avoided looking at the bed, "Hey, it's not your fault. No one of us expected this to happen. You can't blame yourself. Not for this. It isn't your fault."

It was my fault. All of it was my fault. I had caused this. I sent her down into those tunnels, I had forced her to leave my side. I should have listened to her when she insisted that she didn't want to go without me. But I didn't. And even worse, once I was healed, I didn't immediately go after her. I let my fear take a hold of me. I let my selfishness take over. I allowed myself to be comforted by my boyfriend instead of going to make sure that my sister was okay. And now… now I was dealing with those consequences.

When I felt Jenna start to say something, probably related to the thing that didn't happen, I shook my head, "It doesn't matter, Jenna. Because I will fix all of this. I will make it all better. As soon as Bonnie is home, I will fix all of this. You don't need to worry about that. Just focus on yourself and the baby. I will sort out everything else."

My aunt's hand immediately moved to rest on her small bump. I had hoped that the mention of her unborn child would take her mind away from what happened. Because I didn't want her to think about it. She had to be okay. And that meant not being broken over this. She had to know that I would fix this for her, for my brother, for Stefan, for our friends, for everyone. I would make this all better.

Beneath her hand, I could hear the baby's heart beating. I focused on the reassuring noise, on the healthy sound of it. While I ignored the fact that the room contained one less heartbeat than it should. Because that fact just wasn't possible. I refused to let it be possible.

"I have to look after you," Jenna mumbled, but I could hear the exhaustion in her voice. The need to be convinced that this would all be fine. And I would give that to her. I would do anything for my aunt. Including doing the darkest of things to make this right gain.

"I'm fine, Jenna," I lied through my teeth, even as I closed my eyes. "I just need you to be fine too. For Jeremy to be fine. If you give me that, then you don't need to worry about me. I promise."

"I didn't think that I needed to worry about any of you," my aunt sighed, pulling back. I opened my eyes again but I kept my gaze on her. I wouldn't let it move even a fraction to the side. Because I just couldn't do it. I couldn't look at what was there. "But then…"

"Hey, I promise you. You don't need to worry about me."

XXX

Once I had persuaded Jenna that I was as fine as I could be, my aunt left the room. I knew that she just didn't want to look at the bed. And I couldn't blame her. I didn't want to look at it either. But I didn't have a choice. I couldn't leave. I had to sit here, to protect my sister. After everything that had happened, it was my duty to do this.

But I didn't have to sit still while I did this. I could move around. And by moving around, I would be less likely to look at the bed. Fortunately, I had a good distraction. Stefan had left Elena's camping bag by the door. And I knew that my sister would want it to be packed away, since she couldn't do it at that moment. She got very fussy if she didn't unpack straight away. It had always been adorably funny. Especially when clothes got wrinkled because of that.

So I decided to be a good sister and unpack her bag. I moved slowly, not wanting to rush. Because when I completed this little job, I wouldn't have anything else to keep me busy, to keep my mind busy. And then all I could do was sit there with my thoughts. And I really didn't want that. I had spent enough time with my thoughts already. I couldn't take any more time. It was painful and dangerous and not what I wanted.

I started with taking everything out of the bag, placing it all on the window seat. There wasn't a lot in there. Just some clothes, toiletries and her diary. I was surprised by the lack of weapons in the bag, but I guess she had had them out while she was on the island. Because I knew that there was no way that my sister would go that creepy island without any weapons on her. Even if she was with a group of vampires, a witch and a vampire hunter.

I carefully packed the clothes away, throwing the dirty ones in the clothes hamper, while I put the clean clothes in the drawers. The toiletries were taken into the bathroom, where her dirty shoes were sat on the floor. I knew that Stefan had taken them off when he had laid her on the bed. I just didn't realise that he had placed them in here. Guess I had spaced out more than I thought I had.

I paused when I came to the final item. I didn't realise that my sister had taken her journal to the island, but I suppose it made sense. She would be able to document everything that happened there. Every dirty little detail. I was almost tempted to read it, to find out what had happened while I was being held hostage by Vaughn. But the other part of me, the scared part, didn't want to know how she had spent those hours. Her final…

No, I couldn't think like that. I refused to think like that. Everything was going to be fine. I was going to make it fine. I refused to let it not be fine. God, it had to be fine. I didn't know what I would do if it wasn't. How I would cope. How I would react. No, I would fix all of this. Hopefully with Bonnie's help. But even if she couldn't do anything, I would find someone who would. I was a vampire; I had all the time in the world to make this right.

So I placed the journal on the bedside table before walking back over to the window seat. I needed somewhere more comfortable to sit. Because I knew that I would be here for a while yet. And if I sat in the right position, I would be able to avoid looking at the bed. And that was something that I really needed to do. I had almost caught a glimpse of it a couple of times before. And it had my heart clenching in my chest. It had almost been enough to break through the numbness and I couldn't let that happen. That numb feeling, the one that had taken over my mind and my heart and my soul, it was the only thing keeping me going. It was protecting me from everything. And god, I needed that protection.

I sat so that I was sitting with my back against the wall, a blanket covering my legs. I had a perfect view of the doorways, but the majority of the bed was blocked out. I saw enough of it to make sure that everything was as okay as it could be. But I also didn't have to properly look at it. That was the main thing. I didn't have to look at it. Because if I didn't look at it, I didn't have to think about it. And if I didn't think about it, then I was protected from it.

It probably sounded like such a selfish thing. But I needed to protect my mind from this. I had felt it start to fracture the moment that I stepped into the cavern. I couldn't let it shatter completely, not until I had spoken to Bonnie. My friend would know what to do, how to fix this. Until then, I had to keep my mind together. And that meant pretending that none of this was happening. That it was some kind of waking nightmare, one that I was capable of waking up from. So I didn't need to worry about any of it.

It would all be fine. Everything would be fine. The alternative was just not worth thinking about. And so I wouldn't. I would continue to remind myself that it would all get fixed. No matter what the method of fixing it was. I would do anything to make this right. I didn't care how dark it was, I would do it. I would make this okay again.

XXX

While I had been keeping guard, I had continued to listen to the goings on in the house. Caroline had resumed her scrubbing of the floor. Apparently there had been a huge burn mark from where Kol had died, which she had been determined to get rid of. I knew that it was her way of dealing with everything that had happened. And at least, if she was doing it, then at least pregnant Jenna wasn't.

I only knew that my friend was done when I heard her pouring water into the sink. I listened to it gurgle through the drains before focusing back on the conversation. Care and Stefan had been talking about what happened. Which had been pretty difficult to hear, which was why I had been focusing on the sounds of the brush scrubbing against the floor.

"How long has she been like this?" the blonde asked once the bucket had been emptied out. She placed it to the side once it had been rinsed out. I could practically sense her glancing at the ceiling, looking in the direction of where I sat.

"Ever since she found Jeremy holding Elena's body," Stefan sighed, shaking his head. My mind faded in and out as he spoke, blocking out certain words. Words that I wasn't ready to hear. "She just keeps repeating that she will fix this and that everything is going to be okay."

"But, how is she going to fix it?" Care frowned, crossing her arms. "Bonnie can't bring people back from the dead. Surely she must realise that?"

Before she could say anything else, and I just knew that she was going to say something else, she was stopped. The next thing that I knew, the tap had been turned on. It was probably Stefan's attempt to keep this conversation private. But it didn't do a very good job, especially when I moved to stand in the doorway to Elena's room. With all of the doors open, it was pretty easy to hear what was being discussed.

"Look," the older vampire shook his head as I moved to take a seat on the stairs. "Deep down, I think she has to, but we're talking about the twins here. Alexa lost her twin sister. This is beyond her normal levels of grief. You remember the build up to the sacrifice. This… this will be even worse. Right now, I think that her denial is the one thing protecting her from letting it all in."

"But she can't stay like that forever," Caroline protested softly, aware that she had to keep her voice down. It was clear that they didn't want me to listen to their conversation. Probably because they were worried about my mental state. Not that there was anything to worry about. Because I was fine. Absolutely fine. There was nothing to worry about when it came to me.

"I know," the older vampire agreed with a nod. "But I don't want to be the one to break her out of it. I think she needs to hear the truth from Bonnie before we can even think about that. And when it does happen, then I want Damon here. She won't feel the need to lie about this to him. Hopefully, with all of us together, we can get her through this, without the worst happening."

"I just can't believe that this is happening," Care said softly and I knew that it was time to move. They were getting close to mentioning the unspeakable. And I just couldn't let them do that. I couldn't let them say it. And I couldn't let myself hear it.

So I carefully stood up from the stairs, walking to the kitchen doorway. The two vampires in the room had their backs to me. Which was why they jolted when I spoke.

"It is going to be fine," I had my arms crossed as I spoke, like I was holding myself together. Stefan turned off the tap before they turned to look at me. I could tell that the expression on my face was unnerving them. It was probably the vacant look in my slightly too wide eyes. And the empty smile. I had seen myself in the mirror. I knew that I didn't look good. But it didn't matter. Because, soon, everything would be fine. "Bonnie is capable to extraordinary magic now, what with that expression thing. She is capable of anything. I will fix this with her help."

"Alexa," Care stepped forward, speaking my name softly. But I shook my head, holding up my hand.

"Nope. That is how it is going to happen and I will not accept otherwise. Because the alternative just isn't acceptable. I…" my voice cracked and I had to pause. My eyes closed as I took a deep breath, feeling my chest clench as I did so. A gentle hand rested on my shoulder and I glanced to the side, only to see my brother staring at me with sad eyes. "I have to believe it, Care. I have to believe that this can be fixed, okay? And I will not listen to anything to the contrary."

I grabbed Jeremy's hand and gave it a careful squeeze before tugging him from the kitchen. Behind me, I could practically sense Stefan and Caroline exchanging looks. But I ignored it. I knew what they thought but I couldn't bring myself to care. I knew the truth and I knew how I would handle this. They could do what they liked until I was ready.

In that moment in time, my main concern was my family. I had to make sure that they were okay until I was able to fix everything. Which was why I took Jeremy up to his bedroom. I hadn't had a chance to properly talk to the kid and now I needed to. I had to make sure that he was okay. Well, as okay as he could be in the circumstances.

XXX

I got Jeremy settled on his bed; a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. I made sure that his back was to our sister's room. I didn't want him to be distracted while I checked in on him. But since someone had to make sure that my twin was okay, I sat facing Jer, where I could see her feet. It was enough to make sure that she was fine while also avoiding looking at the whole thing. It was enough for me, if I was being honest. And it meant that I was able to do my twinly duty while also focusing on the kid in front of me.

"Hey, Jer," I tried to keep my smile soft as I brushed my fingers through his hair. His cheek had swelled up into an impressive bruise, despite me ordering him to ice it on our way home. I knew that we had waited too long to do so, but I liked to think that it had done something to make it better. Either way, he was going to have a fun time in hiding it when he went back to school. "How you doing, kiddo?"

The kid gave me a sad look before shaking his head, "Not good, Lexa. I just can't believe that Elena is-"

I gently hushed him before he could utter those words. I still couldn't bear to hear those words. They would drive me over the edge. And I couldn't go over the edge. Not while I had Jeremy and Jenna to look after. Not while I had to fix this, fix everything. I didn't have the luxury of breaking over what I refused to accept happened. So until I had done everything that I needed, I couldn't let myself hear those words.

"It's fine, Jer. Of course you feel that way, something awful happened to our sister. But it's okay, I can fix it. I will make everything better. Ideally with Bonnie's help. But if she can't do anything, then I'll find someone who can. You know how stubborn I can be, I won't rest until I've fixed everything."

"Lexa," my brother hesitated, glancing to the side before sighing. "Lexa, I can see her. It's too late to fix this."

"Of course you can see her," I deflected with a shrug, ignoring the true meaning to his words. Because I was not ready to deal with the truth behind those words. Because I know about my brother's gift and what he meant. And that was way beyond what I could deal with right now. "She's just over there. It would be a bit weird if you couldn't see her."

"Alexa," Jeremy gave me a look and I gave him one in return. I knew what he meant but I wouldn't play along. And judging from the look in his eyes, he knew exactly why I wasn't. To be fair, it was probably pretty obvious. The kid knew me far too well. And he must have known how I would react if the worst were to happen.

"Jeremy," I raised an eyebrow as I spoke his name. "I will fix this. If you want to believe anything, if you need to hold onto something, then trust me when I say that I will fix this. I don't care how long it takes; I will do everything possible to make this better."

"What if it isn't possible?" Jer asked, his voice soft as he glanced to the side again. I tried to ignore it when he did so. Because I knew what was happening and I didn't want to think about it. As far as I was concerned, it just wasn't happening.

"Pfft, Jer," I smiled, but I knew that it looked as bad as it did earlier, from the way that my brother looked away. I did feel bad about that. I couldn't even give the kid a reassuring smile and I hated it. I had to reassure him. Jer didn't seem to realise that everything would be okay. Which was silly. Because I always made everything okay. I was not one to give up when it came to my family. I would rip apart the universe if it meant looking after my loved ones. "The realms of possibility don't stand a chance when it comes to me. I will rip everything apart if it means fixing this. Come on, you trust me, don't you?"

"Of course I trust you, Lexa," the kid murmured as I pulled him into my side. I tucked his head under my chin as I held him close. So close, that I could feel his heart beating. It was a reassuring sound, after everything that could have happened. It made me realise just how close I had come to losing my brother. Honestly, creepy Shane was lucky that l too preoccupied with my siblings to care about him. Otherwise I would have made him pay for his part in my brother's disappearance. Yep, Jeremy had told me all about that. How Shane had a buddy on the island, apparently the one that I had seen dead while adventuring with Vaughn, who had taken my brother. He had then lured Bonnie away so that he could go after Silas by himself. I really hoped that he got what was coming to him. Because karma was a bitch and she deserved to get her dues when it came to the douchebag professor.

"Then trust me when I say that I will make everything okay for you, kiddo," I muttered into his hair, pulling him even closer. I closed my eyes as I allowed his human warmth surround me. I enjoyed the feeling of having my brother in my arms after nearly losing him on the island. Because that would have been imaginable. I knew that me and my sister would have to keep a better eye on the kid. Because the little dumbass apparently had the same appetite for trouble as we did. Well, as my twin did. I didn't get into trouble. That was my story and I'm sticking to it.

XXX

Once I had gotten Jeremy settled into his room, I returned to my sister's room. I reclaimed my place on the window seat and stared out the window. I knew that Jenna had moved to sit with Jeremy. Adorable Larry the dog had also joined them. From what I could tell, after I had moved out due to my brother's fun new hunter abilities, the dog had become even more spoiled. Which was something that I didn't think possible. But nope, the little cutie now slept on my brother's bed with him. And he was given all the food that he wanted. If it wasn't for the fact that Jer took him out jogging with him, that dog would be fat.

I kept an ear out on them, but I didn't listen to what they were saying. I just made sure that they were okay. It got fidgety if I didn't know what was happening to them. I already had to fix one mistake; I couldn't fix another. That would be far too much for me.

It wasn't until I heard Caroline's voice that I focused on something else. She was outside on the porch, on her phone. A part of me felt bad for listening in to her conversation, but I knew that she was hiding something from me. Something had happened while we were on the island. And I wanted to know, need to know, what that was. Because I could probably fix that too.

"Hey," my friend sighed into the phone. "I know that I'm not supposed to be calling, but something happened, and I need to talk to you, Tyler. So please call me."

She hung the call, having left her voicemail, and sighed again. I frowned as I thought over her words. Why would she be calling Tyler? Why wouldn't he be here? What had happened? Because now that I thought about it, it was really surprising that my adopted brother wasn't here, helping me make plans on how to fix this.

I was distracted by my thoughts by Stefan softly asking, "Do you know where he is?"

"As far away from Klaus as he can get," the blonde shook her head, turning so that she was facing the older vampire. "Klaus said that he wouldn't stop until he found him."

Klaus was hunting Tyler. Damn, now I'm even more annoyed that we didn't get the cure. Because I would have shoved it down his throat and made him choke on it. Maybe I should do that. Once I had fixed the situation at home, maybe I should hunt Katherine's bitchy ass down and take the cure from her. Then, once I had had my fun with her, I would use it to get rid of Klaus. Because if he was hunting down my adopted bro, then he deserved to suffer.

"Well, Katherine's been running from Klaus for 500 years," the younger Salvatore brother moved so that he was standing next to her, leaning against the railing. "It's not easy, but it's possible. It's probably why she stole the cure. She wants to bargain for her freedom."

"I just can't believe that after all that, the cure is just gone," my friend frowned softly, glancing back into the house. I knew that they had left the door open. But I couldn't bring myself to go berate them for letting the cold air in. Maybe later, I would go tell them off for it. But for now, I refused to leave my sister's side.

"Yeah. I mean, talk about denial. In my head, I was thinking that I finally had a chance to be human again. To be what Elena deserved, to maybe have a lift with her. But now that Elena is gone…"

Caroline hummed in sympathy, gently giving his hand a squeeze before sighing, "Well, we can't think about that right now. Because if we start going down that path, we won't be able to get anything done. And we definitely won't be able to look after Alexa when the truth finally hits her. But until that happens, there are things that we need to do. We need to make plans, lists. We need a funeral or a cover story, or a funeral and a cover story. I should go tell my mom. I guess she'll know what to do."

Stefan nodded, pushing his thoughts to the side, "We should get Matt over here. He can help with Jeremy, and he deserves to know. Maybe we should call someone for Jenna too, either Vanessa or Andie. She needs someone to look after her while we focus on Alexa."

"You're right," the blonde agreed, already pulling out her phone. "I will do that. I will call Matt, and then I will go tell my mom, and then I will make a list of a casserole or… I don't know… whatever people are supposed to do or make in these situations. I mean, what are you supposed to do when your best friend is…" Her voice trailed off a second before she took a breath. When she spoke, it sounded as though she really didn't want the answer to her question, "What is that smell?"

Stefan looked through the front door, a broken look flashing across his face before he shook his head. He didn't need to say anything, for the look on his face said it all. Caroline looked inside the house in horror, a hand coming up to cover her mouth. It was something that no one had expected. Personally, I didn't know what they were smelling, it must have been in their heads. Because there was no smell here.

"It's her body," the older vampire whispered. "She's starting to decompose. Tell your mom to get Dr Fell over here."

Decompose?

How ridiculous. Alive bodies didn't decompose. And it was impossible that my sister was decomposing. They probably smelt something outside. Because there was no way that my sister was decomposing. I mean, I would smell it. And I couldn't smell anything. Because there was nothing to smell.

XXX

Once Stefan and Caroline had started making plans, I tuned out their voices. Instead, I picked up my sister's journal. I didn't read it, oh no, I would never do that to her. I mean, I would pretend to, just to wind her up. But I would never read it. Instead, I flicked to the back and started writing her a note. I knew that she would want to be kept updated on what had happened before I had the chance to fix everything. So that was what I did. I told her about what happened to me on the island, about the journey home and just what we had been up to. Of course, I left out the annoying details but I covered what I thought she would find useful.

It didn't take long for me to get distracted. Especially when I realised how fun it was to draw trees. I made a little mini forest around the edges of the page. It wasn't until I saw movement out of the corner of my eye that I looked up.

Meredith stood in the doorway, looking at my sister with a sad look on her face. I didn't like the way that she was looking at her. There was no reason for the doctor to look so sad. No reason at all. So, to get that look off of her face, I cleared my throat. My aunt's friend glanced over at me, and gave me a soft smile, "Alexa."

"I wasn't expecting to see you here, Meredith," I spoke slowly, placing my twin's journal to the side and standing up. I tucked my hands into the back pockets of my jeans as I stared at the woman in front of me. It was clear that she was uncomfortable. I just had to find out why. "Are you here to see Jenna?"

"Actually," the doctor replied, her voice calm. I had to respect that. It was an enviable trait, one that I wished I had. "I'm here to check on your sister. May I?"

"Is that one of those questions that is phrased like a question but is more like a statement?" I raised an eyebrow as I took a step closer to my twin's bed. As I rested my leg against the bed, I kept my gaze on Meredith, not once looking down at the bed. I could tell that my actions, or lack of actions, I suppose, was carefully noticed by the woman in front of me. But she didn't say anything. She just looked at me with a patient expression. When I couldn't take it anymore, I just rolled my eyes, "If it will get you out of here and back to my aunt, then fine, check on my sister. Anything for a bit of peace."

With my permission finally granted, Meredith walked over to the bed. While she did what she felt was necessary, I grabbed the journal and carefully placed it on the dresser. I had to make sure that no one else would look in there. Only my sister was allowed to read the words that I had written. Which was why I placed her phone on the journal. Hopefully both of the personal items would be left in peace. I had seen the phone light up a few times, but I had ignored the notifications. It wasn't my place to read them. My twin could to that when she was ready.

I wasn't even aware that we had company until a hand rested on my shoulder. I glanced to the side to see Stefan looking at me with a sympathetic look. I frowned in confusion, wondering what had happened this time. Because the look in his eyes was unnerving.

"Alexa," the doctor said my name quietly, looking like she was going to give me some bad news. I couldn't stop myself from glancing between her and Stefan, wondering what they were going to say next. "It looks like Elena died of extreme blood loss. Her neck also appears to be broken. The lack of blood explains why there's no lividity, but her muscles have tightened past the point of rigor mortis."

I shook my head at her words, itching to cover my ears. To protect myself from what she was saying. But I wasn't able to. Stefan had a gentle but firm grip on my hands. I know that he probably thought that he was trying to comfort me. But instead, he was forcing me to hear their lies. To hear the bad words that they were speaking. Words that I didn't want to hear. Words that I couldn't hear. I just wanted them to leave me alone.

"Shut up," I hissed, glaring at the woman through narrowed eyes. I just wanted her to stop talking. To stop saying those lies. That was all I needed.

"If she's left unattended to, soon she'll start to bloat," Meredith kept going, that sympathetic tone still in her voice. Even as she said the worst thing that she could. "Within a few hours, his skill will discolor, and-"

"Please just stop talking!" I shouted, trying to drown out her words. I managed to free my hands from Stefan's grip, clenching them into fists. With a couple of steps, I moved so that I was between the doctor and the bed. I had to protect my sister from her horrible words. "Why won't you just leave us alone? And stop saying those horrible words?!"

Meredith exchanged a glance with Stefan before sighing, "I need you to release the body to me. We'll get her to a funeral home and prepare her for a viewing where you and your friends and family can say goodbye to her."

That was the last straw. Those final words did me in. It was too much for me. I felt my face change as I sped towards Meredith. No one expected me to react like I did, which was the only reason why I managed to get my hands around her neck. As I squeezed, I shouted, unable to hold it in, "You need to stop talking like that! You need to stop saying such horrible lies! I know what you want, you want to take my sister from me! And I won't let you! No one is taking her from me again!"

It took a bit of a struggle, but Stefan managed to free Meredith from my grip. The woman stumbled back, coughing wildly as I fought the older vampire's grip. He had one arm wrapped around my waist, the other around my shoulders.

"Alexa," Stefan tried to hush me, even as I tried to push him off, desperate to grab my twin and take her somewhere safe. "It's okay. You need to calm down. Just take a deep breath."

"Just shut up! All of you shut up!" I stamped on the vampire's foot and he let go. I pushed Stefan away from the bed, keeping my body firmly between the intruders and my sister. I wouldn't let them get to her. I wouldn't let them take her away from me. I refused to be separated from my twin. No one would separate me from her. "You're wrong! I can fix my sister! When Bonnie gets here, she can use her magic to fix her! And then everything will be alright! I won't let you take her from me! She is staying right here, with me, where she is safe!"

I would have kept yelling, but someone unexpected arrived.

Matt stood in the doorway; his gaze fixed upon my sister's bed. His face began to crumple, the blues eyes of his shining clearer than ever, thanks to the tears that threatened to fall. At the sight of my friend's pain, I couldn't stop myself from speeding over. My sister would forgive me for leaving her side. She would want me to look after Matt. Especially when he looked so sad.

"Hey, Mattie," I whispered into his ear as I pulled him into a tight hug. My friend gripped onto me with shaking hands and I ran my fingers through his hair. "Don't cry. It's all going to be okay. I'm going to fix this; Ellie will be fine. I'll make everything fine, I promise. Please don't cry. There's no need to cry. I just need Bonnie to get here and I can fix this. Don't cry."

XXX

Despite my reluctance to leave my sister's side, I let Matt take me downstairs. But only after he had gotten Stefan and Meredith to promise that they wouldn't take my sister from me. I didn't believe their words at first. But Mattie promised me that he wouldn't let them take Ellie away. That was the only reason why I felt comfortable leaving my sister's side. He hadn't tried taking her from me. I knew that he would keep them honest for me.

It didn't take long for the cutie to make a couple of teas for us and bring them over to the dining table. He had persuaded me to take a seat there, where I could keep an eye on the front door. Even with vampire speed, I would be able to see if anyone left. That made me feel a bit better, since I couldn't keep an eye on the bed. At least this way, I could make sure that no one left and took my sister from me.

"Thanks, Mattie," I mumbled, wrapping my hands around the mug. I didn't realise just how cold they were until the drink started warming them up. It was so weird; I didn't think that I got cold as a vampire. I hadn't gotten cold yet. Maybe it was just a comfort thing. "Are you okay?"

"It was a shock," my friend shook his head, reaching out to rest a hand on mine. "How are you doing?"

"You know me, Mattie, I'm fine," I shook my head. "I'm always fine. And I'll be even better when Bonnie gets here and helps me fix everything."

"Where are Bonnie and Damon? I didn't think that he would have left your side."

"They're back on the island. Bonnie went missing and he stayed back to find her. I would have stayed too, but I needed to look at Els. So he promise that he would find Bon and bring her back."

"That's funny," Matt frowned, looking like he was thinking that over. "Doesn't he hate her?"

"Nah, he doesn't hate her. They're actually secret friends, but they don't want to tell anyone. Cos it will ruin their reps if people find out that they don't hate each other."

"That… that is kind of messed up. How long have they been friends?"

"Uh," I screwed up my nose as I thought, keeping my gaze fixed on the front door. "Since before the sacrifice, I think? I know that they spent a lot of time together, trying to find a way to keep Ellie alive during the sacrifice and a way to kill Klaus. Ever since then, they've been building their friendship. It's kinda cute, really. Cos they don't even want to admit it to each other, even though it is so obvious."

"What's obvious?" my brother asked from behind me. I glanced over my shoulder to see him laying on the sofa. Larry was curled up next to him. On the sofa. Yeah, that dog was spoiled. But I didn't care. The golden cutie seemed to be helping my brother cope with everything. And I would never take that from him. So I would keep my mouth shut until I fixed it all. Then I would have a word with him and Jenna about how spoiled that dog was. I mean, honestly, our aunt had resisted getting a pet for so long, our parents too, saying that the dog would be spoiled. And they had all be proven right. Even if Jenna was also one of the ones spoiling the cutie.

"Bonnie and Damon's friendship," I replied, scooting in my seat so that I could look at both my brother and the door. I couldn't take the risk that Stefan and Bonnie would sneak my sister out while I wasn't paying attention. But I also didn't want to ignore my brother. So I tried to keep an eye on both. It wasn't easy and was actually a bit stressful. But I had to try.

"Oh yeah," Jer nodded, glancing to the side. I didn't know what he was looking at, but I ignored the movement. Ever since the kid started seeing ghosts, he had taken to doing that. It could have been some random ghost for all I knew. And that was the only option. I refused to think of anything else. "They are definitely friends and it is really annoying at times. Because they'll spend time with each other and then moan about each other."

"It is handy when they help me complain about the stupid actions of my family," I gave Jeremy a pointed look before looking at the spot that apparently previously held Kol's body. The kid just shrugged and looked away. We hadn't properly talked about it and if I was being honest, I didn't think that we ever would. He knew that I didn't approve of what he did but there was no changing it now. All that we could do was try and move on, and pray that the consequences weren't too severe.

"You don't need help with that, Alexa," Matt teased gently as I glanced up at the ceiling. I was just about aware of the two upstairs talking. But I didn't listen into what. As long as they stayed away from my sister, I didn't care what they did.

"Well, someone else has to yell at them," I tapped my fingers against the mug in my hand. "If it's just me yelling at them, then they will stop listening to me. And it'll take something drastic to get them to listen again."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my brother wince. But I let it be. I didn't know why he was wincing, but from the way that he tried to pretend that he didn't, I knew that it wasn't an obvious reaction. So I let him have some peace and instead returned my gaze to the front door. I knew that Matt had noticed that I was distracted again, despite his best attempts to make me smile a proper smile and not a scary one, when he sighed. He gave my hand a squeeze and sighed again.

XXX

Sensing that I wasn't really in the mood to talk, Mattie let me stare at the front door while he talked to Jeremy and Jenna. My aunt had made an appearance not that long ago. She looked like an absolute mess, her hair thrown up in a messy ponytail and dressed in her lazy day clothes. But she had a strong look on her face as she sat down next to my brother, resting a hand on Larry's back.

While the others in the room murmured amongst themselves, I stared up at the ceiling. This time, I did listen into the conversation between Stefan and Meredith. I had to know what they were saying. In case they were making secret plans, wanting to take my sister away from me.

I heard the clicks of the thermostat before the doctor sighed, "I'm bumping the AC. But we're not gonna be able to leave her in there for much longer."

"Yeah, I know," Stefan nodded before moving to sit on the top step. The wood creaked as he sat down, resting his arms on his knees. "I've been alive for almost two centuries now. You'd think that with the amount of people that I've been die; it would hurt less each time. Never does."

"No, no it never does," Meredith agreed, taking a seat next to Stefan. "I see this every day. Sometimes I think that the denial is the worst part for people like us, because we know the truth. We can see that they're on a collision course with it, and all we can do is brace ourselves for impact."

I was just about aware of Matt resting his spare hand on mine. By this point, both of them had been claimed by him. But I couldn't tear my attention away from the conversation above me. It was like I was in some kind of trance. Especially when Stefan's phone rang.

He answered it and I immediately realised who was calling, "Did you find her?"

"I'm still looking," Damon answered and I closed my eyes at the sound of his voice. It wasn't until I heard him that I realised just how much I needed him here. But I also needed him to find Bonnie. I needed him to bring her home, so that she could help me fix this. Fix everything. "How is she?"

"It's not good, Damon," the younger Salvatore lowered his voice, probably in an attempt to stop me from picking up on his words. He probably didn't realise that I was listening in on his conversation, probably thinking that I was distracted by my family. But he must have realised that the moment that I heard my boyfriend's voice, I would pay attention. "She's slowly losing it and there isn't much that I can do to stop it. None of us can. We're doing what we can to delay things here, but we've got to get Elena to the morgue before it gets ugly."

"Damn it. I can't… I can't just leave her behind. I can't… I can't show up without Bonnie. She told me to bring her home. I can't let her down."

"I think you have to. At this point, I think that you are the only one that can get through to her and you are definitely the only one that will keep her together. She won't let anyone even say what happened. She needs you, Damon. I can go back to find Bonnie."

Damon cursed again before replying, "I'm on my way."

With that said, he hung up the call. I continued to stare up at the ceiling, my heart aching in my chest at the sound of my boyfriend's voice. Even though I needed him to bring Bonnie home, I was relieved that he was coming back to me. I knew that he would support me, he would help me fix this. I needed him by my side and now he was coming home to me.

I was distracted from my thoughts, and the conversation above me, by my brother sitting down in front of me. He didn't block my view of the front door, but he did manage to catch my gaze. He gave me a small smile before showing me his phone. I glanced down at the screen and saw a photo of the graffiti area of the stoner pit. It was an area that I was familiar with, thanks to the sacrifice and my stoner friends. I frowned, wondering what I was looking for, until I saw Vicki's name painted amongst the rest.

"We were just talking about when he was so into my sister," Matt reached out to prod the kid's shoulder. Jeremy had the good grace to just brush it off, rolling his eyes.

"After mom and dad died," I nodded slowly, reaching out to rest my fingers against the image, tapping the phone to enlarge it. "Ellie called it your rebel phase."

The two boys in front of me exchanged a glance before my brother brought up another photo. While I stared down at the image, a 'J+V' in a heart, Matt continued, "I found that after Vicki died. It made me smile… and this… this reminded me that the ones that we love, they never really leave us." I swallowed hard at his words, unable to look away from the image. I could feel my throat closing up as my friend carried on speaking, his voice so incredibly soft, "After they found Vicki's body, I remember thinking that things didn't feel over, you know, that there was no possible way that she could be gone forever. And then she wasn't. My point is, this town, this crazy-ass world we live in, sometimes not being willing to accept that someone is gone, is because maybe they're not… at least not completely."

"My sister isn't gone," I whispered, only looking up when my brother's hand covered mine. "But no one in this town is really gone…" I looked Matt in the eye, trying to ignore the desperate feeling burrowing into my heart. "Do you really believe that?"

"Yes," Mattie nodded, looking completely genuine.

"And you would repeat that? Even under compulsion?" I pushed, needing to know that he believed his words. That he was genuine. That he wasn't judging me for my actions, for my desperate need to fix everything. For refusing to believe… for refusing to believe the thing that I couldn't bear to put into words.

"I would tell you that it's okay to have hope," my friend's voice was soft when he answered. "Because sometimes that's all that keeps me going."

XXX

We were silent after that, absorbing Matt's words. I think it helped all of us. Hope wasn't a bad thing. And it helped me realise that I was doing the right thing in wanting to fix this. I wasn't crazy, having hope. It was… it was reassuring. I wasn't crazy. I wasn't insane. I was acting exactly like I was supposed to be acting.

God, I so desperately needed to hear that. Because I knew that some of the others thought that I was insane, for my belief in my ability to fix this. But it wasn't insane. It was natural. My hope and belief was to be expected. And because of that, I would keep on doing what I was doing. Which, to be fair, wasn't a lot right now. Once Bonnie got home, then I would be able to do stuff. And I knew that Damon would bring her home to me. He knew how much I needed her. And not only for my magic. I couldn't lose my friend. I refused to let the island claim her. I wouldn't lose her. Bonnie was so important to me, even if I didn't always tell her. Maybe I should get better at telling her. She deserved to hear how important she was. I would tell her. Both before she helped me fix the situation and after. I would repeat it as many times as I could because she deserved to hear it.

It was Stefan that broke the silence.

I saw him as he walked down the stairs, quickly followed my Meredith. They say a quiet goodbye, with the doctor looking over Stefan's shoulder at me. When they realised that I was watching them, they both made it obvious that they weren't hiding anything. Which meant that my sister was still safe upstairs. I relaxed slightly, but I didn't stop watching them. For the time being, I was determined to monitor who it was that was entering my home. And I would continue to do so until everything was back to normal. Because I couldn't risk anything happening to any of my loved ones. I had to keep them safe. I had to keep my twin safe. I had to keep all of them safe. It was my responsibility, my duty, to my family. To protect them and keep them alive and to make sure that they live the best life possible.

Once Meredith was out the door, the older vampire turned to face me. He gave me a sympathetic look before entering the kitchen. He glanced around at the others before looking back at me, "Hey. Damon found Bonnie. The plane is there waiting for them when they get off the island. They'll be home in a few hours."

"Thank god," my brother sighed as he relaxed a little. I could see his body lose some of its tension at the news that the girl that he loved was okay. Even though the two weren't together, I knew that they still loved each other. Maybe after all of this, they would take that next step again. It had been a long time since my brother's fuck up with Anna. Maybe it was time for them to be with each other again. "Is she okay?"

"Yeah, Damon said that she's fine," Stefan nodded, resting a hand on the kid's shoulder. He looked at me and I could see the conflict in his expression. There was a moment of hesitation before he sighed. It didn't look as though he was completely fine with his decision. But it must have been something that he couldn't get away with keeping from us. Which meant that it was related to fixing the shitty situation that we were all in. "Listen, Alexa, you may have been right about Bonnie helping you… fix… this. There might be something."

"I knew that she wouldn't let me down," I smiled slightly, tapping my fingers on the table. The sound of my nails hitting the wood was loud in the quiet room. But I couldn't bring myself to stop. It was like the movement helped me to clear my mind enough to ask the questions that I needed to ask. "Did she say what it is? Or is she going to wait until she gets here?"

"She didn't say," the older vampire arrived, exchanging a glance with Jenna. He probably realised that he needed my aunt's support with anything that he said or did. "Let's just see what she says when she gets home, okay?"

"Damn, that is far too long for me to be waiting," I mumbled as Jeremy's hand covered mine. The tapping was probably getting to him but I could tell that he didn't want to moan at me over it. So he did the next best thing. As his hand settled over mine, I turned it so that I could link my fingers with his. "You sure that it will just be a few hours?"

"Don't worry, Lexa," my brother gave me a soft smile, his thumb stroking the back of my hand. "Damon won't keep you waiting any longer than you need to be."

"Yeah, you're right, he'll bring her home to me as quickly as possible," I nodded, shaking my leg. It was like, now that I knew that my witchy friend had a plan, I had so much energy. I was ready to go. Ready to fix all of this. And it felt so annoying that I had to wait. Because this had been hurting me all day. There was nothing that I could have done to help my sister without her help. And after all this time, it was starting to get to me. So the fact that Bonnie was on her way home was such a relief. "And then I can fix all of this. And everything will be fine again."

It sounded so easy when I put it like that. I had a horrible feeling that it wouldn't be that easy. But I could hope. That was all that I could do. Hope that it was an easy fix.

XXX

The thought that I had to wait several hours until Damon and Bonnie got home was not a nice one. I knew that they would be able to help me fix this. They would help me make everything better. And while I supported Bonnie, I knew that Damon would support me. God, I really needed my boyfriend with me. I knew that he had done the right thing for me by staying to find Bonnie. But it had been hard, being here without him.

I had lasted just under an hour downstairs before moving back up to my sister's room. I knew that the others had watched me as I left the room to return to Elena's side. I had spent far too much time away from my twin for my liking. I knew that she was still safe in her room and that no one had taken her away from me. But knowing wasn't the same as seeing. I had to see that she was still okay. Well, I say seeing. I saw that she was in her room, that she was still on the bed. Although I did notice that her face had been covered, probably by Meredith. Honestly, that doctor was a right pain in the ass. She had no right to do that. But I didn't have it in me to remove it. I couldn't physically make my body walk over there and pull down the blanket. So I compromised. I walked over to the window seat and reclaimed my previous spot. This way, I couldn't see the blanket covering her but I could see some of her. It was enough to put my mind at ease.

Since I was definitely going to be here for a few hours, I got myself comfortable. That included settling a blanket over my legs. I pulled it all the way up so that it was covering my shoulders. With my head resting against the window, I let myself relax as much as I could. I knew that no one would get into this room and near my sister without me hearing them. So I could rest for a bit, until Bonnie got home. Because I knew that the moment that the witch was here, things would get crazy again. We would immediately get to work fixing this. And then there would be the fallout to what happened, because the consequences to magic were a real bitch at times. I just had to hope that they wouldn't be too bad.

I tried to ignore the complete silence in the room by focusing on the world around me. The neighbours were busy today. Some were mowing their lawns, others were playing in the garden, and then you had the ones that were arguing with each other. They were the most fun to listen in on, especially since I didn't want to listen to the people downstairs.

They were talking about me again. About me and Elena. I heard the word denial mentioned a lot, although I didn't know what the context was. Because I didn't know who was supposedly in denial. Must have been someone else that they were talking about. They had expressed some doubts over Bonnie's ability to help me fix the situation. And over my own ability to fix it. Honestly, it was a bit foolish of them. I had proven that I could do anything if I put my mind to it. I mean, just think of Klaus' stupid sacrifice. I had made sure that my sister had survived that. She had lived, just like I had wanted her to. I was able to get my own way. I could do the same here. If I said that I wanted to fix this, then I would fix it. There was nothing else to say about the matter.

I didn't realise that my eyes had fallen shut until I heard footsteps on the stairs. I quickly jolted upright, my gaze fixed on the door, as I waited for the intruder to make their appearance. Of course, I immediately relaxed when I saw that it was just Jenna. My aunt gave me a weak smile as she joined me on the window seat.

I moved to place the blanket over her legs too before resting my shoulder against hers. I kept my gaze on my legs while she looked over at the bed. I felt more than heard the deep breath that she took before she quietly asked, "Alexa, how worried do I need to be?"

"You don't need to be worried at all," I immediately replied, not even thinking about what I was saying. "I'll make sure that everything is fine, Jenna. All I want you to focus on is the little bean growing inside of you. That is your priority. I can handle everything else. Just like I will fix this. And then I will keep everything fine. You never need to worry about anything ever again."

"You can't take all of that upon yourself, Alexa," my aunt sighed, shaking her head before wrapping her arm around my shoulders. "It's too much for one person."

"I'll be fine," I murmured, my eyes betraying me as they looked at the bed and the blanket there. "I can do it. Especially if it means keeping my family safe. I'll do anything to keep you all safe, Jenna. I don't care what it is, I'll do it if it means looking after you all."

"That's what worries me," Jenna whispered and I winced at her words. I knew the others worried about what I would do to fix the situation. But they didn't need to worry. All that mattered was that I fixed this. If it got a bit ugly, then I just wouldn't tell them. I would protect them from that information. Just like I would protect them from everything else. It was my job. It was my duty. And I would do whatever it took to carry it out.

XXX

I stayed upstairs until Bonnie's arrival. I had used my vampire hearing to keep an ear out for Damon's car. I knew that he would bring her straight here. And I was so grateful for that. He knew exactly what I needed and he gave it to me.

While I sat upstairs, I heard Caroline on her phone. She was leaving Tyler another voicemail. I still hadn't found out exactly what had happened while we were on the island. But I wouldn't push. Not yet, once I had fixed this situation, I would find out more about Tyler's. And hopefully fix that one too.

"Tyler, it's me again. So I was thinking about it, and you probably ditched your phone, which is the smartest thing that you could do. So I don't know when you're gonna get this, but things were looking kind of bleak for a minute, and… I don't know… maybe they're starting to turn around. So when you get this, call me back, and I'll tell you everything."

I was so distracted by Caroline's words that I almost didn't hear Damon and Bonnie's arrival. It wasn't until I heard the sound of a car door that I realised that the two people that I had been waiting for all day had arrived.

I sped down the stairs, flinging open the front door just as Bonnie stepped onto the porch. I took the step needed and pulled her into a tight hug. My friend immediately hugged me back, squeezing me tight. She still smelt of the island and blood, but I didn't care. Just having her in my arms made me feel a bit better.

"I'm so glad that you're home," I whispered in her ear while Caroline joined us on the porch. She gave me a soft smile before ushering us inside. When we reached the kitchen, I reluctantly released my hold on the witch to let the others give her a hug. Although I was itching to take Bonnie upstairs, to get started with fixing everything, I knew that the others had to reassure themselves that the witch was okay. Especially Jeremy, and I wouldn't deny that kid anything.

Behind me, I was vaguely aware of Caroline and Stefan speaking quietly, before the older vampire left the house. I knew that he was going to go speak to Damon. And as much as I itched to go see my boyfriend, I knew that I owed it to my sister to fix her situation first. So I just sighed and sat down at the table.

The others quickly joined, before all eyes turned to Bonnie. She had a peaceful look on her face, one that seemed very similar to the one that I had earlier. I could see why it unnerved the others. But I didn't care. All that I cared about was getting what I needed from my witchy friend.

Bonnie must have sensed my thoughts as she looked me in the eye and nodded, "I can fix this, Alexa. I can make everything right. Silas can help me bring her back. There are just a few things that I have to do first."

"Whatever it is, we'll do it," I instantly agreed, ignoring the wide eyes of those around me. I knew that it would have to get dark but I didn't care. I would do whatever it took to help my sister and fix this situation.

The witch gave me a small smile, "It's called an Expression triangle. I need to complete it for Silas."

"What?" Matt stared at her in disbelief. We all knew what an Expression triangle was. Shane had admitted to orchestrating two of them. This must have been the third that he had mentioned. "Bonnie, you can't kill 12 people."

"I know it sounds crazy," she conceded as I stared down at the wood. "But it's the only way to get enough power."

"To do what?" Caroline frowned, looking so incredibly disapproving. I couldn't say that I was surprised. I knew that she would never be onboard with anything like this. But I didn't care if she was or wasn't. All I cared about was if she interfered.

"Shane told me that when Silas was buried by Qetsiyah, she left him with the cure and two choices: either stay immortal and rot or take the cure and eventually die in there of old age. But she knew that he wouldn't take the cure. Not after what she did. Qetsiyah knew that he would want to die so that he could be peace with his one true love. So she created the Other Side as a purgatory for all supernatural beings, ensuring that if he died, he'd end up there forever," while Bonnie spoke, I curled my hands into fists, my nails digging into the palms of my hands. "But that's where I come in. As Qetsiyah's descendant, I can drop the veil between the living world and the Other Side. Once the veil is dropped, the Other Side doesn't exist anymore. There's nothing separating us. We're all just one."

"Bonnie!" Caroline exclaimed, her hand landing on the table as she tried to catch the witch's attention. "You are talking like a crazy person! You are not killing 12 people, and you sure as hell can't invite every monster who has ever died back into this world."

"Caroline, I think she knows that," Matt tired to soothe her while Jeremy placed his hand on Bonnie's shoulder. I felt Jenna's worried eyes on me as I stared down at the table. My mind was spinning. I never thought that this would be Bonnie's plan. That it would involve 12 people dying. That it would involving bringing back every single supernatural being who had died. Quite a few of whom we had killed ourselves.

"I can do it," Bon's voice was surprisingly calm, even with Caroline's raised voice. "I have the power. We can bring everyone back. Elena. Vicki. Lexi. Alaric. John.

"Bonnie, stop it. You can't just say these things."

"It's gonna be fine."

"We can't kill 12 people, Bon. Our loved ones wouldn't want that."

"We can bring them back. If they are supernatural, then their deaths will be temporary. It will all be fine."

It all got too much.

There were too many thoughts spinning around my head. Too many things for me to consider. And there was only one place that I wanted to go. So I sped from the room, ignoring everyone else as I ran.

XXX

I closed the door to Elena's room behind me before collapsing against it. My legs shook beneath me as, for the first time, I looked at my sister's body. I couldn't hold back the sob as my eyes burned with tears. I couldn't run from the truth any longer. My sister was dead. My twin was dead. She was gone. And it was all because of me. I had lost her. And I didn't know what to do.

I was only aware of my legs collapsing when the thud from my knees hitting the floor echoed around the room. The noise broke through the silence, piercing through the ringing in my ears. Tears dripped down my cheeks, dropping to the floor. I couldn't hold them back. Not anymore. My sister was dead. My Els, my Ellie, my Elena, she was dead. God, it hurt. It hurt so much. The pain was paralysing. It fucking hurt. It hurt so fucking bad. Because what was I supposed to do without my sister? She was my constant, my everything. She was my twin, my other half. I never thought that I would lose her. She had survived the sacrifice. She had survived Klaus and Rebekah and the damn fucking Wickery bridge. She had survived all of that. But she didn't survive me.

I did this.

I caused this.

I killed my sister.

She only went into those caves because I told her. She wanted to wait with me. She wanted to stay by my side. And I made her go. I forced her to leave me and go into those fucking caves. And now she was dead. Because of that decision. She was killed. Katherine killed her. Silas killed her. They took her from me. And now what do I do? How do I survive this? How do I continue living? How do I go on without Elena by my side?

My nails dug into the wood of her floor, leaving little groves. Sobs shook my body, tears staining my cheeks. Because I couldn't hide from this any longer. I couldn't pretend that everything would be okay. Nothing would be okay again. It was all broken. Life was empty now.

Because I didn't know if I could do the one thing that I needed to do to bring my sister back. I didn't know if she would let me. I would have to kill 12 people. I would have to take 12 lives. I would have to lower the veil to the other side. To let all of those supernatural threats back into our lives. They would put so many of my loved ones in danger. I would need to do all of that. Kill so many people. Hurt so many people.

Just for one life.

And you know what really burned? What really hurt? What made me want to scream and never stop?

I would do it.

I would do everything that I could to bring her back. I would rip apart this planet to bring my sister back to life. I would kill those people. I would lower that veil and let our dead enemies back into our lives. I didn't care who I hurt if it meant that I got my twin back.

Even though the thought of it made me feel sick. It repulsed me. It made me question everything. Because I knew that Ellie wouldn't want me to do it. She wouldn't want to be brought back at the cost of 12 lives. She wouldn't want blood to be spilt for her. But I do. I wanted her back. I needed her back. I had to have her back. God. I just needed her. I needed my sister. She couldn't be dead. She couldn't stay dead. She had to live. She had so much to live for. She had school and college and our family and Jenna's baby and her whole life. It was taken too soon. She didn't deserve this. She deserved to life a full, happy life. She deserved the earth. And I had to give her that.

I had to bring her back. I had to do whatever I could do bring her back to life. It was the only way forward. Even if she hated me for it. I would rather her be alive and hate me. I didn't care if she never wanted to see me again. She would be alive. She would no longer be a hole in my heart. I would no longer be falling apart without her. My heart, my soul, would no longer be split in half. It would no longer be withering in my chest, burning and bleeding. Darkened and destroyed.

I would never remember how I made it to my sister's bed. How I forced my body to move. How, even when completely broken, I was able to make it to my twin's side. I sat down next to her, removing the blanket from her face. I could smell her now. The rancid decay of her body. Just more proof that she was leaving me. That my sister was gone. And now I was the only one who could bring her back. The others would stop Bonnie from doing what was needed. They would find a way to persuade her that it didn't need to be done. That my sister should be left in peace. But they were wrong. All of them were wrong. Ellie needed to be brought back. She needed to live. And I would do that. I would do it for her. I would help Bonnie with her plan, I would keep her on the correct path. I would do whatever it took.

I brushed Elena's hair away from her face, smoothing it down from where the blanket had messed it up. She looked so sweet and innocent like this. So young. She didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve any of this. She was innocent. Just in the wrong place at the wrong time. And I would make people pay for that. I would punish myself. I would punish Katherine. I would punish Silas. All of those who were involved in her death would suffer. They would feel this pain. They would choke on it. And then, I will kill them. Once they have suffered like she suffered, like I have suffered, they will face the consequences of their actions.

But I knew that I couldn't do it like this.

I wasn't strong enough. Not like this. Not with my grief and pain and heartbreak ripping me apart. I could barely breathe; I could barely move. Every movement reminded me of what I had lost. With every second that passed, my soul withered away. I was slowly passing away from this loss. Oh my body would live on, but my soul would die. My heart would die. And I couldn't help my twin if I was an empty husk.

So I had to do the one thing that I had promised that I would never do. I would have to turn it off. It was the only way that I could do this. I wouldn't be able to kill anyone with my humanity still on. I would remember that Ellie wouldn't want this. I would let my conscience get in the way. I would let my humanity get in the way. I wouldn't be strong enough to do what was necessary. Because this would get ugly and bloody.

I pressed a kiss to my twin's cheek before whispering in her ear, "Please forgive me."

And then, with my eyes closed, I searched my mind for that switch. For that metaphorical switch that would make everything okay. That would take the pain away. That would make me strong. That would help me bring my sister back to life. The one that would help me do everything that I needed to do.

And I pushed it.

XXX

Damon's POV

It was the other's shouting Alexa's name that alerted me to the fact that my girl had disappeared. It didn't take a genius to realise where she had gone, especially when the sobs started. I would have immediately followed her up to Elena's room, to comfort her now that the realisation had finally hit her. But a hand on my arm stopped me.

Stefan looked at me with worried eyes before he sighed, "She's been slowly breaking all day. Now that she has… I don't know how this will go."

I shrugged off my brother's hand, "Don't worry about Alexa, Stefan. I'm here to look after her now. And I'll do anything that she needs me to do."

I ignored Stefan's muttered, "That's what worries me."

My brother, despite his own feelings for Elena, didn't seem to realise just how damaging this was. It was more than losing the girl he loved. Alexa had lost her twin sister. The two had always had a bit of a weird bond. They were closer than normal siblings. And that was why I knew that it would be virtually impossible to get Alexa through this. Oh, I could keep her from shattering completely. But this would break her. I just needed her to know that she wasn't alone in this.

I entered Elena's room to see Alexa sitting on the bed. She had her back to me, her gaze fixed on her sister's face. Gentle fingers brushed the hair from Elena's face. I knew that she had heard my entrance, but I still kept my steps soft as I walked up behind me. It took me resting a hand on her shoulder to get Alexa to look up.

And when she did so, it took all of my self-control to not react. It took me barely a second to realise what she had done. The light in her eyes was gone. The life, the humanity, it was gone. She had turned it off. Alexa had flipped that switch on her humanity.

"I know what you're thinking," my girl shrugged as she stood up. Her arms wrapped around my neck as she pressed her body against mine. "Oh no, she turned off her humanity. What a monster." Alexa rolled her eyes. "I just did the most logical thing. After all, I can't help Bonnie with her ridiculously bloody plan with my humanity on. It would just get in the way."

"You want to help Bonnie?" I frowned as she nuzzled her nose along my cheek. My hands landed on her hips as I thought about my girl's words. She didn't do this without thinking. Alexa had thought through this decision before making it. And because of that, I knew that there would be no persuading her to turn it back on. No, my girl had a plan. And she wouldn't turn her humanity back on until she had followed through with that plan.

"Yep," she nodded, nipping at my jawline before moving her head back to look at me. "Bonnie is my way to bring Elena back to life. And so, I will kill as many people as I need to for her plan. Now, can you be a dear and wrap up the body and bring it downstairs for me? I need to start planning shit before the others can interfere too much."

I examined her face closely. It was clear that she had been crying before. I could see the traces of them around her eyes. Her sister's death had broken her in a way that I hadn't seen since the sacrifice. But this was worse. This time, there was no guarantee that Elena would come back. Not without killing 12 people and lowering the veil. I didn't know if I should help Alexa with that. But I did know that I had to support her. I didn't know what my girl would be like without her humanity, but I knew that it would get ugly when the others got involved.

So I nodded, stepping to the side to carefully wrap the older twin's body in the blanket that had been covering her. Behind me, I heard Alexa muttering as she gathered up her phone. I knew that she didn't intend to come back here again. Not until she had gone through with her plan, or until it was clear that nothing could bring Elena back to life.

Once Elena's body was wrapped up, I followed my girl down the stairs. While she went into the kitchen, I carefully laid the older girl's body onto the sofa. I silently apologise. Because I knew that I would only end up enabling her twin in her plan. And it didn't take a genius to realise that it would not be what Elena wanted.

"Where's Bonnie?" Alexa demanded from the kitchen as she opened and closed cupboards. I glanced over at the doorway as she walked back inside. A bottle of bourbon was in one hand while the other tucked something into her pocket.

"We told Matt to take her home," my brother answered as the rest of the humans followed her into the room. "We thought that it would be for the best."

"Well, that's tedious," Alexa rolled her eyes before grabbing Elena's phone from her back pocket. She flicked through the phone before chucking it at Jeremy. The kid fumbled with it for a moment before putting it in his pocket. There was a look of slight shock on his face as he wrapped an arm around Jenna's shoulders. The older woman had a hand resting on her baby bump as she watched her remaining niece. "I'll just have to start planning with her tomorrow."

"Alexa," Jeremy's voice was quiet but it caught everyone's attention. "Did you turn it off?"

"Yep," my girl nodded, not looking the slightest bit bothered by the responding flinch. "Couldn't kill 12 people if it was on. I mean, it would only just get in the way."

"Elena doesn't want you to do that," the kid shook his head, glancing to the side.

"Oh yeah?" Alexa snorted as I exchanged a glance with my brother. "And how do you know that?"

"Because she told me," Jeremy argued, sounding more emotional than he did earlier. And I couldn't blame him. He had essentially lost both of his sisters. Because until Elena was back, Alexa wouldn't be back either. Her humanity would stay locked away until she either succeeded or failed.

"Well, until she can tell me that to her face, I don't care what she wants," she rolled her eyes. "Now, you lot can finally call Meredith to take the body away. But don't make it public. Let's keep it low-key people. Makes it a lot easier for me later on. Tell them Elena took a scholarship or she got sick or was abducted. Don't know, don't care. Just leave me out of it."

"You can't just cover this up," Caroline snapped emotionally, her blood hair shaking wildly. "This is Elena. People will notice if she is gone."

"Oh please, with the bullshit that happens in this town, I can definitely cover up one death. You're just lucky that I'm not just burning down the house. It would provide quite a nice cover up. You know, family house burns down so everyone leaves," Alexa paused for a moment in thought before shaking her head. "Nah, it's easier to keep you where I know you are. That way, you can't interfere."

"You can't do this!" the blonde shouted as tears slowly started to fall down Jenna's face.

"I just did," Alexa snapped back, narrowing her eyes. "And I will do everything that I want to do if it means bringing Elena back to life. Even if that includes ripping your heart out, Caroline. Right now, you are only alive because I need you to help me look after Bonnie. But believe me when I say that I will take you out if you stop me from bringing Elena back to life." A smirk replaced the angry look on her face, "Hey, I get it, it's painful. But don't worry, you won't have to deal with me much. While Bonnie gets everything ready, I'm going to track down Katherine's dead ass and rip her apart. So unless you stop Bonnie, nothing bad will happen. I won't kill anyone unnecessary and I won't bother you. Deal?"

Silence followed her words.

My girl had shocked everyone into silence. None of them had ever considered that Alexa would turn it all off. Which, in hindsight, was rather foolish. Alexa had lost the most important person in her life. She was never going to cope with this well. Whether Bonnie had a way of bringing Elena back or not, Alexa would have always broken. At least now, she had a plan in mind. And once that plan was finished, I might be able to persuade her to turn it back on. But for now, nothing was getting through to my girl. Not the tears of her aunt. Not the pain on her brother's face.

That switch was off.

And it was going to stay off.

XXX

A/N: I hope you enjoyed! Although I don't know if enjoyed is the correct word... I promise, I will be nice to Alexa at some point! Thank you for all the reviews, my darlings :) they help keep me writing! I do love reading them and what you think of what I am writing :) please keep them coming! Friendly reminder that the poll is still open, so please vote! It will help solve my latest dilemma haha :) not sure when the next chapter will come up, but since it won't be as emotionally draining as this one, hopefully soon! Until next time xoxo