Half of my Soul
Chapter 3 - Change
Author's Note: Oh my gosh, it has been so long. I would sincerely like to apologise for taking this long to update, I hit a bit of a wall with this chapter. Consider it more of a filler chapter, but there are some parts towards the end that aren't super boring, I hope. Hope you all enjoy!
Sasuke cast his gaze upon the graves of his parents, not a single emotion evident upon his alabaster appearance. He had always derived some gratification from the fact that he was generally a challenging person to read. He never was the type to have every thought etched on his features, or wear his heart upon his sleeve. His closest friend, however, was the living personification of such a description. Naruto was, well...Naruto. Loud, brash and easily the most beloved throughout the entirety of Konoha. Hell, throughout the other villages even. The war hero who had touched the hearts of everyone. The story of the underdog who had worked his way to the top with nothing but determination and hard work, was now a household tale recited daily to eagerly listening children. How they all yearned to be like him. Sasuke smirked grimly, his onyx irises tracing the tombstones strewn across the remainder of the grounds.
And then there was him, the infamously grief-stricken, revenge-crazed Uchiha. Driven mad beyond the point of no return by his desperation to avenge his fallen clan. Willing to kill just about anyone who would be an obstacle in his path. The one who had betrayed his friends and his village simply to get stronger. He sighed, reminiscing the uproar that had occurred at the mention of his plans to settle down in the village. He had returned to Konoha a few months ago, having travelled for several years.
"Sasuke, aren't you tired of travelling all the damn time? When are you gonna settle down here again?" Naruto had asked loudly at the time as they were seated in Ichiraku's, ramen broth blotting the corners of his lips. Sasuke had resisted the urge to cringe openly at his friends' messiness and blatant disregard of privacy. There were people nearby. There always had been. He had then crossed his arms, eyes shut while he turned away from him, as if he were deep in thought. Sakura had peeked curiously over at him from beside Naruto, waiting with bated breath.
"I was thinking about settling down here for good, actually." He had been met with nothing but silence. He had pried his eyes open, turning to face his friends. He had held back his amusement then, for the shocked expressions on both of their faces had been truly priceless.
"Wha-WHAT?!" Both of them had yelled simultaneously. Sasuke had been interrogated for nearly an hour that night. "Why now?, what happened to change your mind?," and more.
Now back in the present, Sasuke nearly laughed at the irony of it all. He had wanted to return to the place that he used to love so much as a child. Although there were far lesser people that cared for him now, he had believed that was all he needed at the time. He would earn the trust of the rest, and eventually be integrated as another member of Konoha. But it was proving to be harder than he expected. The fact that the Konoha council had banned him from going on missions for a year had not helped matters at all.
"We are of the strong opinion that you have travelled enough for now, Sasuke Uchiha." One of the council had said. "You will remain in Konoha for a whole year, absolved of any shinobi duties. There won't be anybody assigned to monitor you, but we hope you understand that you will be very closely watched. Know that you cannot afford to place a single toe out of line. Do so, and there will be severe consequences. Do you understand?"
Although the no-missions rule had annoyed him greatly, he hadn't had a choice. Those were the terms that he had to agree to, if he ever wanted a place in the village again. Kakashi had given him a sharp pat on the shoulder after the meeting, being the only one from Team 7 who could attend. Naruto had some political influence, but it wasn't nearly enough.
"Sorry, Sasuke. It was the best I could do...for all you know, they might've had you detained. I'm the one who came up with the idea to temporarily relieve you of missions, and keep you in one place for a year." The silver-haired man had said, chuckling at Sasuke's sour "Mm" in response. "As sullen as ever. Cheer up a little, will you? Besides, this would be a good opportunity to show the rest of the village that you're not a threat anymore. And also...make some new friends. You'll get tired of Naruto and Sakura eventually."
Sasuke shook his head as he recalled his words, a hint of fondness glinting in his eye at the thought. Kakashi was the closest thing he had to a father figure when he was younger, and even now after his return. Although they barely spent any time together these days due to Kakashi having much on his plate with Hokage duties, Sasuke knew that they weren't any farther apart. A cloud hung low in the sky, hiding the moon and plunging the graveyard into momentary darkness. Sasuke decides that he should take his leave, but trips over something as he takes a step forward. He catches himself in time due to his sharp reflexes, swearing to himself. The cloud clears, the moonlight shining on an upright stick in the moist soil. His eyes light up in recognition. Naruto had stuck that there. It was meant to represent the grave of his brother, Itachi. Sasuke had wanted to place a headstone there in his honour. He had wanted to remember and pay respect to his brother in the way that he truly deserved. But the council had nearly scoffed at his simple request, dismissing him without a word. His brother would always be deemed a murderer, and traitor. Not so different from him, he supposed. He cast a final, solemn glance at the stick. He would get Itachi the respect he deserved. No matter what it would take.
About an hour later, Sasuke was staring blankly at his ceiling again, sleep somehow still managing to evade him. He tsked frustratedly, forcefully shutting his eyes. His circadian rhythm had been all over the place ever since his return to Konoha. He had figured a short trip to the cemetery would clear his mind a bit, help him relax. He turned to rest on his side, the moon unashamedly casting its beams through his window, his complexion illuminated once more. He glares at it menacingly, wishing that he could burn it away. Its pearly hue suddenly bade him to recall a pair of eyes from earlier, their milky, lavender-tinted depths gazing inquisitively at him. Below their surface had laid a plethora of emotions; shame, concern, embarrassment, curiosity and nervousness. Despite his reply to her question, he had heard her, every single word. She had seemed almost...disappointed at his answer. He deduced that perhaps she had secretly wanted to be heard, to be given comfort in some form. How oddly contradictory of her. He had spewed out some garble, hoping that it would pass off as sound advice. Well...it wasn't exactly garble. It was one of the few things that had kept him pushing forward in his younger days. Each defeat had taught him something. Each shortcoming had made him rise above, and stronger in the process. It was a fairly straightforward thought. The girl can't possibly be that simple-minded...she was the heiress of the Hyuga. Or so he had gathered, from her little monologue. He lets out a yawn, a tear beading at the corner of his eye. Perhaps tomorrow, he would visit that new café Sakura had been going on about. Apparently, the coffee was good. He swipes it off, watching it pool on his finger...his eyelids beginning to droop slowly. He realises that once again, he had forgotten to ask her name.
Hinata arose from her slumber, lifting a hand to brush a few stray tendrils of hair away from her face. She blinks sleepily, a yawn coursing through her as she reaches her arms out for a slow stretch. She then collapses back into bed, sighing as she buries her face into her pillow. Another day had begun. She shut her eyes, not wanting to wake up and be faced with reality. Not just yet. A sudden flash of blonde flits through her minds' eye. Blue eyes, as deep as seawater. The kind that she could drown in. "No." She shook her head, clearing her stray thoughts. She shouldn't be thinking such things. At least, not anymore. She remembered a time when nothing else had plagued her but thoughts of a certain vivacious jinchuuriki. Now they came in waves, each more vexing than the one before. Would there ever be a day, where they didn't come at all? A day where her heart would finally be free from the weight of the ocean that he was. How she longed for that day. She opened her eyes, now free from her enticing illusion. It was time to wake up.
She traipses the corridors of the main house, her destination being her garden. She had slept in today, which was a rare occurrence. Her father and sister would've already had breakfast. Good thing she wasn't hungry just yet. So, to her garden she would go. She slides open the door, approaching the steps which led to a pebble-adorned path. She descended them steadily, welcoming the sunlight on her skin and the fresh air that filled her lungs. She takes in the sight of her flourishing nursery, the bees dancing between the tiny lavender flowers. Soon, they'd have the sunflowers too. She glances at the little mound of soil which their seeds now lay beneath. She goes to the watering can and fills it up, the bubbling sounds of water granting her calm. Droplets trickle down the petals of her prize lilies, she watches while humming a soft tune. This is her safe place. She was at peace here, basking in the small pleasures that came from tending to her flowers, whether they were sentient mattered not. They were special to her. She moves from patch to patch, a serene smile adorning her soft features. Soon, she's finished the tending and moving to sit on a little swing in the corner. She swings back and forth, the wind whipping through her hair lightly as she shuts her eyes. Her short moment of peace was soon interrupted however, by the calling of her name. Or rather, yelling. She perks open an eye, cringing as the voice drew nearer. She starts when her long-time friend and teammate Kiba Inuzuka bursts through the door of her garden, repeatedly yelling her name.
"There she is! Told ya she'd be here, Shino!" he proclaims victoriously as his dark brown eyes land on her. Shino Aburame trails behind him wordlessly, approaching the door in a much calmer fashion.
"Yes, Kiba. It seems you were right. Congratulations." He affirms, a hint of sarcasm evident in his deep voice.
Kiba grins, speeding over to Hinata. She gets up quickly, holding out her hands and gesturing for him to halt.
"Kiba-kun, stop! I'll come over there." She had never liked anyone wandering through her garden. They were almost always careless with their steps, and one or two of her flowers would inevitably pay the price for it in the process. The canine-featured boy abides, halting in his tracks.
"Heh, sorry 'bout that Hinata. I always forget that you're not okay with us entering your garden."
She shakes her head as she walks over, a fond smile pulling at her lips. "It's no problem, Kiba-kun."
She nods her head in Shino's direction. "Hello, Shino-kun. What brings you here?"
"Kiba insisted that we meet today. He was rather...persistent." Shino adds, his dark glasses glinting in the sunlight.
She turns her gaze back to Kiba questioningly. The boy grins in response.
"I was thinking we could all head out for lunch. It's been a while since the three of us hung out. Our last mission was a few weeks ago. Lots to catch up on!"
"Oh." She blinks slowly, mulling over his words. "Hmm, you're not wrong."
His smile dropped a little. "You...don't wanna?"
She holds back an amused giggle. Those (literal)puppy-dog eyes were difficult to say no to.
"I would love to, Kiba-kun. You're right, it has been a while."
His smile returned, that of a gleeful beam now. "Woohoo! Let's get outta here then!"
She smiles in response, Shino maintaining his usual blank expression.
They arrived at the café that was new in Konoha, Tsuki Café. Hinata had been meaning to try it for a while. They take their seats, proceeding to make their orders.
"Sooo...Hinata, how've you been?" Kiba asked, having finally completed the challenging task of picking what to eat. Shino was peeved, while Hinata had simply chuckled in amusement.
"Mm, I've mostly been alright. Busy with clan matters, tending to my garden. The usual. How about you, Kiba-kun?"
"Same old, same old. I gave Akamaru a trim earlier, and he got all grumpy! He's sulking at home. Then I went to Shino's place after getting the brilliant idea of us all hanging out! It took some convincing, but I managed to make him budge. Heh." He crosses his arms, exhaling in victory.
Shino's eyebrow twitches in mild irritation. Hinata smiles. "Ah, I see. It really was a good idea...I'm happy to see you both again."
"We are too! Right, Shino?"
"...Yes."
Hinata's smile widens, though they were a mismatched bunch, she had grown to love her teammates. They were her second family. Their drinks arrived shortly after, Hinata picking up her steaming hot cup of coffee and politely blowing to cool it off. As she leans in to take her first sip, her lips welcoming the warm and bitter tones, Kiba abruptly asks if she still has feelings for Naruto. She splutters, nearly choking in the process.
"I'm...I'm sorry?"
Kiba leans in closer, his voice dropping. Even Shino had perked up a little.
"Listen, Hinata. You don't have to cut corners with us. We practically grew up together. Tell us."
She uses a tissue to wipe at her chin, poised as ever. She looks him in the eye.
"Kiba-kun, is this why you wanted to meet today?"
He's silent at first, before meekly responding. "M-maybe...".
Shino decides to chime in. "We are simply concerned for you, Hinata. You seemed alright up until two weeks ago. Ever since the announcement of Naruto and Sakura's engagement, you've been reclusive and avoidant of everyone."
"Yeah, we really just want to know if you're doing okay!" Kiba adds.
She bows her head, her eyes following the patterns of the dark brown liquid in her cup as they swirl around unknowingly. "I'm doing fine. I really appreciate you two asking...but I promise that I'm alright."
Kiba frowns. "Are you sure? It didn't look that way."
She is silent once more, contemplating her next words. Dare she lay the contents of her heart bare, for two of her most special people? What would their responses be? Would they have sound advice, or sympathise with fleeting flashes of pity in their eyes? "No. Anything but that."
She opens her mouth to speak, when the bell at the doorway of the café chimes softly. She chooses to ignore it, but she notes the change in Kiba's body language, who is facing the entrance. His shoulders tense, his aura exuding defensiveness. He speaks before she can ask what the problem is.
"Oh, great. He's here," he hisses lowly. Her brow furrows in confusion, she twists in her seat to have a look at this supposedly threatening stranger. Her eyes widen by a fraction as Sasuke Uchiha strides into the restaurant, as silent as ever. He does not notice her presence at first, but she catches the flash of recognition that flits through his inky black pupils as he draws closer. He gives her a little nod, which she returns in kind. His gaze then lands on Kiba and Shino, before he takes a seat at the lone table behind them. She loses focus for a moment, absentmindedly tracing the outline of his back. She notes that he has nice shoulders. A tanned hand enters her line of sight, waving frantically.
"Um, helloooo. Earth to Hinata?" Kiba questions loudly, a brow raised. "Can we get back to talking about Naruto now?"
"Kiba-kun!" She hushes with urgency, nervously glancing over at Sasuke. He seemed to be studying the menu that had just been handed to him. Seemingly not having heard them. She huffs softly.
"Listen, Kiba-kun...I really am fine. I promise," she pauses for a moment. Was now the time to announce that she would be meeting a potential fiancée soon? She makes eye contact with Kiba, who was now receiving his food from a waiter. She knew he was still listening. Oh, well. What was the worst that could happen?
"Actually, I've been meaning to tell you both something..." she begins, her eyes dropping to her coffee as she plays with her fingers nervously. "I'll be meeting someone soon. If all goes well, I...I might be getting married."
She looks up to meet Kiba's gaze, dumbfounded and slack-jawed as he holds an untouched spoon of rice. Shino takes a sip of his drink and places it on the table, opting to question Hinata.
"And you are happy with this...arrangement?"
Hinata turns to him. "Yes. It is my duty. Why wouldn't I be?"
"Hm, duty and happiness are two different things, Hinata."
She nods. "I know that, Shino-kun. I am happy."
"Tch, like hell you are," Kiba interjects.
She blinks. "What?"
"Hinata, you have to be joking. There's no freaking way you'd be okay with this. Your father put you up to this, didn't he?" He shoves the rice in his mouth, brows knitted with visible irritation.
She responds. "I wouldn't exactly say that, Kiba-kun...he suggested it, but I agreed. I don't see the problem..."
"Bullshit, Hinata!" He slams his spoon on the table. She flinches. "Kiba-kun, st-"You and I both know there's a damn problem. How could he expect this from you? So soon?"
"..." A feeling of helplessness courses through her.
"What if this guy is a sleazebag? What if he just wants you for your background, your social standing? You're not ready, Hinata. The engagement was announced just two fucking weeks ago. Have you even processed things?"
As the onslaught of queries continued, Hinata finds herself blocking them out. Her eyes travel to land on the midnight-blue back of the Uchiha, who seemed to be preparing to leave after finishing his meal. That was fast. She recalled the night before, the man's quote lingering in her mind. She had gotten stronger from every single battle. She had learned from her mistakes, and pushed forward. This was a challenge, like any other. She was being berated for her willingness to take it up, to try. Her thoughts, feelings being assumed. The girl who was meant to be grieving for her lost chance at love. She knew, of course, that Kiba was coming from a place of love. He cared about her, she could feel it. She always had. But she wasn't a little girl anymore. Kiba's voice broke through.
"Is she seriously zoning out on me? Hinata! This is serious. Tell the old man that you'll get married on your terms, and when you want to. No matter what you say, we know the truth, Hinata. You're not over Naruto."
And there it was. The thing she hated so much, clear as day in Kiba's eyes. Pity.
"Kiba-kun, nobody is coercing me, or forcing me. I made this decision of my own accord. It is part of my responsibility to the clan, yes. But I am also doing it for myself. I...I cannot spend forever pining after him. I must move on eventually. Meeting someone new is part of that. It is time for a change."
It seemed as if he were rendered speechless, so she pressed on.
"I know that you are simply concerned, and I am grateful. But you don't have to look out for me as much anymore...I believe I can take care of myself. Have some faith in me, and please support my decision."
A flash of black enters her peripheral vision as Sasuke trails past their table on his way to exit. She looks up at him, their eyes meeting for a second before she fishes in her purse and places some money on the table.
"This is for my part. Please feel free to have my meal."
Kiba remains silent, his lips tight and hand squeezing his spoon. Shino crosses his arms, exhaling. She bows a little, before sliding her chair back in and heading out. She quickens her pace as she exits, her head turning left and right as she seeks out the silhouette of the man who recently left. She catches a glimpse of dark hair, passing the stalls nearby. She increases her pace, raising her voice as she draws closer.
"Uchiha-san!"
He stops mid-track, turning to face her.
"Yes, Hyuga?" He asks blankly. She glances at his hand, the one that had been reconstructed with Hashirama's cells. His bandaged fingers looped around the handles of a semi-translucent plastic bag; their counterpart being lazily tucked into the pocket of grey sweatpants. He shifts, clearing his throat to call her attention. A blush paints across the milky canvas of her face as their eyes meet, the shame of being caught staring creeping in.
"I just wanted to ask...how much of our conversation did you overhear?" She clasps her hands behind her back, shuffling her feet as her eyes cast towards the ground. He raises a thin brow, regarding her.
"Seems to be a favourite question of yours, Hyuga," he comments, before taking a step closer. She fights the instinct to back away. "Anyway, I did. More than I'd have liked to, I'll admit. That's why I left as quickly as I did. Didn't expect you to come storming out after."
She forgets all pretext at his words, lifting her gaze again. Indignation evident in those lilac-tinted white irises.
"I-I did not storm out." She says lowly, her lips turned down. He seems a little taken aback at her rebuttal, lifting the hand from his pocket to run it through his hair.
"Whatever you say."
She recalls his words. "I am sorry that it made you uncomfortable." She adds sincerely.
"It's fine. The place was getting a little too crowded, anyway."
"I see..."She pauses, chewing at her lower-lip as she ponders her next words. Sasuke's bored expression seemed to egg her on. "I want to ask a favour of you...could you please, refrain from telling Naruto or Sakura anything that you heard? I would truly appreciate it." She utters in a single breath, now bated as she awaits his reply.
He appears to mull over her words, though his face remains as expressionless as ever. So tricky to read.
"Well...I don't see why I should tell them."
Her face lights up, a sigh of relief nearly escaping her lips. But she composes herself, bowing low in thanks.
"Thank you very much, Uchiha-san. I owe you for this."
"You don't owe me anything. It's no problem, really."
She straightens, her brows knitting in confusion. "Surely there is something I can help you with."
"..."
"Well...if you think of something, please do not hesitate to let me know." She turns to leave.
"Wait."
She spins around to face him once more.
"The tomatoes. I tried planting the seeds today but...I don't think they turned out...great.
"Ah, I see."
"Maybe you could show me the ropes one time. I'll handle the rest."
She smiles. "Of course, Uchiha-san. I would be happy to do so. Is tomorrow morning alright with you?"
"...Sure."
She almost asks him what lies in the bag gripped by his hand out of curiosity, but checks herself. They were not nearly familiar enough, and she must maintain her manners.
"I will see you tomorrow, Uchiha-san." She dips her head once more, before turning around and heading home.
Back at the Hyuga compound, Hinata flunked into bed and sighed. She shut her eyes, burying her face into her downy pillow. She wished she hadn't left Kiba and Shino like that, but everything had been far too overwhelming. She decides that she would apologise to them by the end of the week. But for now...rest is what she seeks. Before long, she drifts off and the realm of dreams welcomes her with open arms.
She is late to the venue, all of her friends having already gathered there. She finds Ino and Sakura among the slew of faces, flashing them both a smile and seating herself beside the lively blonde. Apologising for running late as her father had held her back to discuss clan business and giggling at Ino's snarky comments about her being overworked, Hinata was in momentary bliss as she reassured her that she was perfectly fine. Just then, the door opened and in walked the saviour of Konoha, decked out in his usual orange and black. Hinata is elated to see him, the speed of her heart gaining pace as he drew nearer to their table amidst everyone's whoops of joy. A blush spreads across her cheeks as he greets her cheerily, she mutters a soft "Hello, Naruto-kun" as she returns the boy's infectious smile. Her heart is full as she takes a mental photograph, freezing the moment in time so she would never forget.
It was as if nothing, no one could rid her of her smile, the happiness she felt at the sight of his face. Then, he reaches Sakura and promptly wraps an arm around her shoulder, and he is leaning in to plant a kiss on her cheek. She expects the usual, Sakura getting irritated at his antics and firmly punching him aside. But instead, the emerald-eyed girl simply blushes and accepts the affectionate peck on her pink-tinted skin. The sound of coos and whistles echo throughout the room. Hinata's world begins to fall apart. But nothing could rival the weight of the stone that crushes her heart, as the love of her life announced that he was engaged to his teammate. She is frozen in place, a hidden thorn among the roses in the room that celebrates the betrothed pair. A pain shoots through her upper torso and she yells, clutching her chest as she falls. Nobody bothers to help her up. Instead, they stare. And they laugh. They laugh until the room is flooded with their tears, and she is drowning. She wants to drown.
Hinata wakes with a start, forehead slicked with a sheen of sweat and breath releasing in heavy pants. She takes in her surroundings, reminding herself that she is safe in her room, and that it was only a dream. She reaches for a glass of water on her bedside table, taking slow gulps as she calms herself. That nightmare was a first. She pulls the sheets around herself, tucking her knees to her chest. She notices a wet mark on her sweater, and lifts a finger to wipe a sole tear from her eye. As soon as she is calm, her door slides open and Hanabi enters.
"Hanabi, I'm resti-"Onee-chan, Father wants to see you now! It's about your fiancée-to-be. He's coming tomorrow!" She blurts out, her own chest heaving as if she had run a marathon. Hinata is speechless.
"Oh no."
Author's Note:
Thank you so much for reading chapter 3! I would like to add some notes about the story here, in case anyone is feeling confused about certain things.
1. This version of Konoha is how I imagine it, which is a mixture of traditional and modern elements. I imagine that cultures, customs and such would still be very traditional, but the infrastructure and culture of the village is evolving. Hence the café, anything else that's considered modern etc.
2. The events of "The Last" did not take place.
3. Yeah, I'm giving Sasuke an arm. The man needs it in my book!
That's all for now, I hope I didn't miss anything. Once again, thanks to everyone who's reading, and welcome to anyone new! Please keep reading, I promise the drama and plot shall thicken in upcoming chapters! I apologise in advance for any slow updates, I simply want to deliver the best possible quality of my writing. Hope everyone has a wonderful day/night!
