Chapter 4: Scars

JPOV

"The same thing that happened to your hand, repeated a thousand times. Our venom is the only thing that leaves a scar." I brushed my fingers over the marred marble of my skin, feeling Bella's horrified gaze on me as I closed my eyes, remembering everything. When I opened them, I saw that her face had gone whiter than usual, causing her bruises to stand out even more before I moved to sit back down, this time a little closer to her as I debated the best way to explain everything to her.

I could feel Edward's intense stare; he was silently pleading with me not to scare her too much, not to say anything that would cause her to panic. I considered my words carefully as I explained to Bella what life was like in the South, how the covens down there came out only at night, how they gorged and indulged and didn't care for human life the way my family and myself did. By the time I got into the story about Benito, how many lives had been taken during those wars, I shuddered, remembering how bad it would've gotten if the Volturi hadn't cleaned house.

But by the time I explained to her how the Volturi let the careful ones continue, Bella whispered, "That's how you were changed."

"Yes," I whispered, feeling Edward's silent pleading as he begged me not to continue. But Bella needed to understand. She needed to know that I knew, better than she thought I did, about what it was that she'd gone through with Lauren and Jessica. I needed her to know that even though my experience couldn't come close, I could relate to her and I wanted her to have a chance to understand me better, as well.

I moved slowly into the small details, how I'd been the youngest Confederate in the Texas Calvary – of course, I romanticized the Civil War, and not so much for the racism that came with it, that was something I could continue living without for the rest of my life, but rather the glory that came with fighting for my territory and being respected, that portion of it I romanticized. But Bella's face was anything but accusatory, if anything, she was fascinated. I watched as she followed along, nodding slightly, clearly intrigued.

Don't worry, Edward, she's fascinated. And here you thought she'd run away screaming.

Edward cracked a grin at that, shaking his head as he leaned a kiss into her hair.

But by the time I got to the part of the story where I met Maria, I felt my whole body tensing. My hands balled into fists. I could almost hear her musical voice, breathing in my ear, I could hear Maria saying, "He looks right – young, strong, an officer. And there's something more . . . do you sense it? He's . . . compelling." It was then I realized I'd been saying those words out loud as my throat grew constricted.

They picked me because they knew I would be valuable to them. Why couldn't I be normal like everyone else? I thought, feeling my eyes burning as the venom built up behind them, and my throat went uncomfortably dry as I continued the story, quoting Maria's words to me, saying, "'What is your name, soldier?' 'Major Jasper Whitlock, ma'am,' I'd stammered."

I shivered slightly as I remembered the way her lips brushed against my neck, her teeth sinking into my flesh and the venom instantly beginning to spread. I remembered how I screamed, but of course, I edited all that out – Bella knew what it felt like to be bitten, she didn't need me explaining that portion to her.

"A few days later," I continued, "I was introduced to my new life . . ."

And so I continued my tale, telling Bella how I trained Maria's newborns. I talked about how we were rewarded. I talked about Peter, my closest brother out of everyone Maria sired, and how I encouraged him to run with Charlotte, not at all stopping them once when the lifestyle became too much for them. But by the time I talked about how Maria was annoyed with me after that, I paused, debating whether or not I should tell Bella further what I'd gone through . . . what Maria would do whenever I disobeyed her orders, what she'd done to me that night she discovered Peter and Charlotte ran.

But I also knew it was necessary for me to tell her. She needed to know that I knew what it felt like to be violated, to have every ounce of your dignity stripped away from you so viciously, to feel as though someone owned you.

"One night, Maria she . . ." I paused, swallowing, but I pinched the bridge of my nose with my fingers as I continued. "It was the night Peter and Charlotte fled, she made me stand before her army, and she scolded me in front of all of them. One of the newborns she sired, a man named Manuel, she was raising him up to be my second-in-command, if you will – she said I'd been demoted for letting Peter and Charlotte run, for letting them live. And I remember, she looked at Manuel, and she said . . . 'Make an example out of him. Do whatever you need to.'"

I continued through a tight throat, my shoulders tensing as Alice's arms wrapped around me from behind, hugging me gently as she hummed softly in my ear, reminding me that I wasn't back there, that it was over, that everything was okay now . . .

"Manual, he rivaled with Emmett in size, was much stronger than I was, and faster, only three months into this new life. And he had me pinned to the ground within seconds before I could run, and he had two others join in with him. Maria said, 'He's pretty. Too bad he's got all those clothes on him.' And they tore it all off, they bit every inch of my skin, and . . ."

I could see Bella's face had a slight green tint to it as tears – tears for my pain and my suffering, empathy for me – filled her chocolate eyes. I sighed heavily at that, deciding she could figure out the rest on her own.

"I won't make you listen to the rest of it," I said quickly, and she nodded, still looking sick as her hand unconsciously rubbed over her stomach, as though she were trying to force the sick feeling away. I pushed away every ounce of it, trying to soothe her nausea, it helped her marginally. "But in the beginning, I really thought what Maria and I had was love. But I was her puppet. She pulled the strings."

I continued, saying that that incident followed with others like it, where Manuel would grope me and bite me and beat me under Maria's orders in front of everyone, showing off how weak and pathetic I was; it was blasphemous, humiliating, knowing that he had so much power over me, how much power Maria had held over me, how they'd use me for their sick, debauched fantasies and figured out, long before I did, how everybody else's feelings affected me, and she'd bring humans to me after she thoroughly starved me, which led to me draining my victims dry, leaving no trace of their blood in their bodies, but I could still feel their terror, the physical pain they suffered through when I bit them each time they screamed out. Bella winced at that, but I could see the sympathy in her eyes.

And it continued well until I got to the moment where Peter came back for me, telling me about life up North, how I could live in peace. When he'd told me that, I never imagined it would be possible. It had been a dream that seemed so far out of reach. But Peter had me convinced within five minutes of that conversation. I'd been ready to go, so eager to leave.

But even though I'd been living a more civilized life with Peter and Charlotte, it still hadn't been good. The depression and the feelings of worthlessness always got worse after I hunted. And I could see Bella's tears streaming down her face as she mourned what I had gone through.

"You've seen the ways I can manipulate the emotions around me, Bella. But I wonder if you ever realized how everyone else's emotions affect me," I told her quietly, and she nodded, as though she got it, I could see the understanding in her eyes as she cried silently. My self-loathing continued as I told Bella about how I tried killing less often, but her eyes were anything but accusatory as she nodded along softly. But as I neared the part where I met Alice, everything shifted.

I felt the hope from when we first met flood through me, and it spread to Bella which led to her smiling involuntarily – I hoped her knowing that I at least got a decent ending even after all I'd suffered through, that she would realize there was hope for her to move past this and recover, as well, that it was going to get better, easier, with time, that Edward, my family, and myself would help her the way Alice had helped me.

"'You've kept me waiting a long time,' she said." I smiled wider, feeling Alice's arms tighten around me as she mouthed the words. My personal angel, I thought, squeezing her hands.

"And you ducked your head like a good, Southern gentleman and said," Alice began, and together, we said, "'I'm sorry, ma'am.'" We laughed lightly before I told Bella of how Alice had seen us eventually living with Carlisle and his family, and Edward grinned at me.

"Emmett and I were away hunting. Jasper shows up, covered in battle scars, towing this little freak," he grinned at Alice playfully as he continued, "who greets them all by name, knows everything about them, and wants to know which room she can move into. When I got home, all my things were in the garage."

"Your room had the best view," Alice said.

Bella smiled a little wider despite the tears in her eyes, and I knew that she knew I understood how it felt. I reached over, grabbing her hand in mine again and rubbing my thumb over her knuckles as she moved to sit up, cautious of her ribs and bruises, and she scooted closer towards me. I knew what she wanted, needed, without having to read her mind, and she needed a friend.

Not even hesitating, I leaned in and I pulled her into the circle of my arms, hugging her close as her cheek pressed against my chest. My chin leaned against her hair as I stroked her bruised face with the pad of my thumb.

I didn't know when Alice, Carlisle and Edward left, but I knew they were giving us the illusion of privacy as I kissed the top of Bella's head.

"I know what you're feeling now," I murmured to her, tucking her hair behind her ear, "and it never goes away, not completely, but it gets easier. You can always talk to me, if you need to."

I felt Bella nodding into my chest, her exhaustion overwhelming her as she sunk further into me.

"You can sleep, honey, it's all right. We'll be here when you wake up." I began humming "God Save the South" under my breath to her, and she further relaxed, her whole body seeming to be devoid of tension as I rubbed my hands across her shoulder blades, smoothing my fingers through her hair. I heard her mumble out, "Love you," under her breath, and I smiled at that.

"We love you, too, darlin'," I assured her.


APOV

I smiled softly, having heard everything that had gone on upstairs. I knew Jazz could help her in a different way than the rest of us could.

But as I sat at the kitchen table, I saw something in my mind's eye, and I knew Edward could see it too. I heard it before I saw it. "I never touched her!"

Jessica's weak attempts to defend herself were simply that: pathetic.

Jessica and Lauren were in handcuffs, two police officers escorting them out of the Mallory household. Lauren wore nothing but a smirk as she flipped her blonde hair back, looking amused by the cops forcing her into one of the cars. But Jessica just looked angry, her blue eyes turning hard as sapphires as she weakly attempted to justify her actions. Cameras were clicking. News crews were surrounding the house – somehow, the media had caught onto it all.

"Alice." Edward touched my shoulder lightly as I nodded, and Charlie answered the phone on the first ring.

"They've been arrested," he reported darkly. "But there were reporters outside Lauren's house. Apparently, not too many people are pleased with that video being posted publicly."

"Well, they're getting what they've always wanted," I whispered angrily. "They always sought attention, always needed to be the center of the universe, if it didn't involve them, they wanted no part of it. I wouldn't be surprised if they're enjoying this even if they're going to be in prison."

Carlisle leaned a hand against my shoulder. "They're where they belong now." His tone was surprisingly black. I looked to him. His eyes reflected nothing but unmistakable rage for what my sister had been put through. Carlisle hadn't been this angry, ever, not even when James had assaulted Bella and recorded it for his own sick pleasure. But this displayed the kind of evil humans were capable of when things like envy and self-centeredness overtook their every instinct.

I could hear Jasper upstairs, humming to Bella and singing her to sleep, keeping any nightmares at bay. Sighing heavily, I rose from my chair and went back up to Bella's bedroom, moving to sit near Jasper, who now was seated on the rocking chair with Bella in his lap, a blanket tucked around her and up to her shoulders as he rocked slowly, back and forth.

"She's peaceful now," he murmured.

I nodded. "Jasper, the media's reporting it. This isn't good."

"Let's not tell her right now." Jasper tucked Bella's head underneath his chin. "It's news today. Tomorrow, they'll move onto something else. They'll get bored of talking about it, eventually."

"Everyone at school will talk." I shook my head. "They're going to ask questions. And if Bella goes to school with them all talking about it, she's going to be humiliated. That'll just hurt her more."

"She's got you, Edward, Angela and Ben," Jasper assured me. "As long as you guys are there, she'll be fine; just let her know you're there. Between you and Edward you'll be able to keep an eye on her."

I sunk to the ground at his feet, lowering my head downwards. "I hope you're right."

"You'll be able to see if she won't be all right. You'll know it before anyone else does. And she knows you won't let anything happen to her. She trusts you."