Boom
"Why do all of our cakes keep blowing up!? This is the third one yet!"
Kazuma and Aqua, covered in dough and other raw ingredients, stood side by side in the kitchen, painstakingly attempting to bake a cake. Which had spontaneously exploded after completion for the third time. Turning the floors and walls a pasty white.
"I told you we should have just bought one, this is way too hard!" Aqua said.
"You only said that like three minutes ago you idiot! In fact, YOU were the one who said that we just haaad to bake it ourselves in the first place!"
"Don't you yell at me! I'm trying to do something nice and I asked you to help me!"
Kazuma grumbled to himself then sighed.
"Well I'm helping you aren't I? So what are you adding to the cake that's blowing them up?"
"Huh!? You think I'm at fault!?"
"If it's not me, then it has to be you. No, in fact, if something is going wrong with such a simple task, of course it's you."
"You stupid meanie! Fine! I'll repeat all my steps slowly so you can watch and learn just how wrong you are!"
'This has got to be good'
Kazuma watched like a hawk as the goddess began the process a fourth time. Her every move with confidence and forcefulness in her quest to get him off her back.
It was during the mixing step, that things went south.
"And after beating the eggs, I add this special seasoning!"
"...Special seasoning?"
"Yeah! I got it from one of those street dealers in the market, and for a good price too! He said it packs explosive flavor that's sure to blow away your expectations on anything you add it to! Neat huh?"
'Her oblivious smile and happy-go-lucky demeanor is doing nothing to placate my desire to strangle her'
"Hey Aqua, what do you think EXPLOSIVE FLAVOR and BLOW AWAY means!?"
"I'm not dumb,-"
"All evidence to the contrary."
"-those are just words used to make things sound cool. It's not like it would actually blow things up."
"ALL EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY! Have you REALLY been adding this to the cake every time?"
"Well, yeah."
"...got it, in that case-"
He began a merciless assault, squeezing at her cheeks as she attempted and failed to fight him off.
After that ordeal was over, they spent the rest of the time actually cooking alongside each other in peace. Smiling at the result of their hard work, this time without an explosive finish.
"I got to admit Aqua, your decorating skills are second to none!"
It was true, for someone who shouldn't have any actual baking experience, she was even better than the actual bakers in town.
"Well of course they are, we are talking about me after all. Remember that picnic we had?"
"Aqua those were all leftovers."
"That I reheated and packed away."
"Alright alright, yeah it was good.
Deciding to let her have her moment, he thought there was a teeny bit of adorableness in her reactions to praise.
"Hey Kazuma…"
"Yeah?"
He picked up on her tone immediately, this was her 'I have an actual, unidiotic question' tone of voice.
"I'm, not going home am I?"
"Huh? What makes you say that?"
"I know you think i'm stupid,-
"Yeah kinda."
"-but even I know there's no way we can ever beat that girl. Trust me, I've given out plenty of divine artifacts, divine powers, you name it! And I don't think even entire parties full of reincarnated adventurers would even stand a chance! So let's face it, I'm never going home. I'll be stuck here forever."
Aqua began to tear up.
Kazuma found himself internally annoyed, mostly because he himself was unable to crack the case. The simple question of what next? Seemed unanswerable. If he had to give a simplified, probably extremely inaccurate power rating of his prominent opponents, based solely on his ability to read aura, it would go:
Verdia at a baseline of five.
The winter shogun a good deal stronger at a ten.
Vanir, suppressed, sat around seven.
Wolfbach, out of combat, had a rating around eight.
Hanz, in all his glory was at fifteen.
Sylvia by herself was only around a five as well, but fused with all those strange beings including Hanz, she sky rocketed to a forty.
Kazuma considered himself, as far as pure aura output, at a thirty.
Dev, from the moment she walked through the portal and entered his field of view, broke the scale at well over a couple hundred.
Kazuma can indeed grow from defeating enemies, but the process was slow and steady. To gain the strength to multiply his power several times over?
'If this was dragon ball this would be so much simpler…'
"Hey, don't start crying or else I can't do this."
Aqua let out a "hm?" as she felt Kazuma's cool body wrap his arms around her. Making sure not to come into skin to skin contact with her wet cheeks.
"Aqua, look, I'm not gonna tell you I have all the answers. This time, the enemy really is that much stronger than all of us. But there is one thing I do know, it doesn't matter. We'll figure out a way to win no matter what. You'll just have to trust me on that. So head up goddess."
She wiped away her own tears, then with a regained look of determination, the two released their hug.
'Easier said than done, why can't I just sit around in bed all day again?'
The front door to their mansion slammed close. After getting into position, Kazuma and Aqua waited for the two returning figures to enter the living room before shouting in unison
"Happy birthday Darkness!"
"YOU!"
The birthday girl in question, dressed nicely in a black button up shirt with some sort of flowy bow tie, stomped over to Kazuma with reddened cheeks and tears in her eyes.
"W-wha- hey hold on!"
The two engaged in an impromptu hand-to-hand match for dominance.
"Everyone at the guild! I KNOW it was you Kazuma!"
The nightmarish memories filled her head once again.
Great job defeating another enemy of the kingdom Lalatina!
What a party you're in Lalatina!
You look so cute in that dress shirt Lalatina!
"I did say I was gonna come up with something vile for you, during that bet we made! Remember?"
"That was so long ago! And this is not the type of humiliation I enjoy! You will pay for this!"
"I'll make it up to you! I promise! You haven't even seen your gift!"
"H-huh? A gift?"
Darkness finally released her deathly grip on Kazuma's arms.
"Oh yeah, just the type of thing you enjoy!"
Kazuma reached into his pocket and handed her an unwrapped piece of paper. It was a quest from the bounty board.
"A Golem has been sighted at a set of old ruins, and has decimated all scouting parties attempting to reconnoiter the area."
"Hehe, that got your attention? I knew you'd like this kind of thing. You can fight this golem and let it wail on you all you want, and I'll only somewhat judge you for it since it's your special day."
"W-what are you trying to say?"
"Oh come on, you really gonna play dumb? You literally go 'oh my god, I hope this enemy beats the shit out of me' every time we run into something even remotely bigger than you."
"You speak of me as if I'm nothing more than some fetish crazed barbarian!"
"You ARE a fetish crazed barbarian! All you do is chase after another hit to your fetish."
"Ah! Surely you have lost none of your foul manners, and here I thought you would become a more respectable man after our trip! Megumin, let him have it!"
"Meh, he was only trying to think of a present he thought you would enjoy. Besides, I'd say he's been pretty respectable when it comes to all of our missions together."
"Huh!?"
Darkness shrieked in surprise, and even Aqua found herself dumbstruck.
"I knew you guys would always spend a lot of time together which was always kinda creepy, but if Megumin is the one acting like this…"
'Damn it Aqua! Why do you have to be smart at times like these!?'
"Wait, Aqua. You don't think that these two…during the two nights they shared a bed."
Priestess and Crusader, both of their faces turned increasingly disgusted and judgmental.
"Wait! Wait! Pull your minds out of the gutter! It's not at all what you think! Megumin, tell them!"
She closed her eyes and hummed her way around the room playing with chomusuke, completely ignoring his call to action.
'THIS GIRL! ARE YOU TRYING TO URGE THEM ON!?'
"Well, no matter. I have to admit, this quest to face a golem is quite enticing. I can just imagine its hard hard body beating me back into submission."
'Why is it only embarrassing for you when I happen to point it out?'
"Well you guys have fun! I'll be watching over the house while you're gone!"
"GIVE ME MY STAFF BACK! I can't believe you forced me to come out here!"
"It's Darkness' birthday you idiot, you agreed to come here already."
"But the couch was so comfortable!"
"Megumin didn't really wanna come either and yet she's here."
Darkness was already away from the group, hastily checking the ruins for this rampaging golem.
The floor suddenly shook underneath them, large cracks formed in both the dirt and parts of the ruins.
'Guess we found the golem!'
The cracks grew in size until finally, a large metallic arm, followed by another, rose and grabbed onto the ground, pulling the rest of its body out as the party members, aside from Darkness, took a few steps back.
"Ka-kazuma. Are you sure this quest was for a golem?"
"Yeah…But that sure as hell ain't a golem."
'It's a freaking giant robot!'
Darkness, completely delighted with her 'present' began to battle against it with her bare hands.
"Hey Kazuma, are you sure this is safe? That thing looks a lot stronger than a golem."
"W-well yeah, if anything gets out of hand, we'll have Megumin blow it up. Right Megumin?"
"Absolutely not!"
"See Aqua? It's all goo- What do you mean absolutely not!?"
"Just look at that thing! It's the coolest and most awesomest thing I've ever laid eyes on! Oh Kazuma, can we keep it!? We can raise it together! We'll bathe it and I promise I can train him! So can I!? Can I!?"
'Ah, too close! My libido!'
"W-what!? N-no way! That thing can't even fit in the house! It would destroy the town!"
Kazuma said, shrugging off the effects of Megumin's inability to respect physical boundaries.
"Guys! Look!"
Aqua pointed over at the giant robot, who now had Darkness in a tight grip with one hand, while poking and prodding at her nearly exposed boobs with the other.
'You know this is kinda entertaining to watch'
"Pervert."
"Huh!? I wasn't staring because of anything like that you brat!"
"Uhuh. Well we have to save Darkness, otherwise it's gonna really hurt her!"
'Oh now you wanna blow it up'
"Megumin, use your explosion! I can make you an even cooler one at home!"
"Wait, really!? You're not just saying that!? You better not be lying."
"I said I'd do it already!"
'Oi, your birthday isn't for long while!'
"Hehe yeah! In that case, let oblivion come to me, darker than dark, blacker than black-"
"Darkness! Get out of the way before- aw I'm wasting my time. Vampire's yoyo!"
"How many red flag moments does this make? I admit that last time was my fault, but y'all better stop it!"
After nearly dying to a self destruct sequence, the party found itself on the top of the ruins, near what appeared to be an entrance that descended into the ruins itself.
"Well, I think we did a great job. Guess we should head back."
Aqua turned around and started heading back, only to be grabbed by the back of her shirt by Megumin, who was acting as Kazuma's arm as he 'had' to carry her himself.
"Oh no you don't. Don't you realize that this place probably has all sorts of cool shit? We're taking everything we can carry." Kazuma said.
"Then how about you go in and I'll watch the exit? Like Keele's dungeon!"
"Sure but we're keeping everything we find to ourselves."
"You guys coming or what?"
Aqua was somehow already inside…
The four of them went from room to room. While nothing of true value was found yet, there were a variety of Knick knacks and trinkets. All belonging to someone who was definitely from japan. Toilet fresheners, dolls, a manga booklet that was too derelict to actually read. Things of that nature.
When they arrived to what appeared to be the main bedroom, it was mostly filled with more useless items, until
"Hey, I think I found something." Aqua said.
"What is it?"
"Here, look."
Aqua held out what appeared to a journal she had found in a dresser.
"It's written in Japanese."
"The ancient language?" Megumin asked.
"Yeah, that's not so much of a shocker by now. Let's give her a read."
'Is it bad to be reading out of someone else's diary like this? Nah we've done this plenty of times already'
Aqua began to read out loud the events of the journals entries. It was of a reincarnated Japanese man with the power to create anything he put his mind to. Struggling within himself on his quest to defeat the devil king.
"I began to wonder, is this what I really wanted? And then it hit, an epiphany if you will. No, this isn't at all what I wanted! But if I could just have someone do it for me, then that would free up all my time for what I actually want to do! Making robot waifus and giant mechs! Like Gundam!"
"Wait a minute, robot waifus? Oh my god it's THIS guy!"
"Him again!?"
Aqua found this to be getting old.
"Hey wait, this parts important." Kazuma pointed.
"It continues,
So I focused every bit of magic I could, and worked myself to the bone to create my best work yet! A sentient, thinking robot given the task of defeating the devil king! Unfortunately I think I filled his programming with nothing but 'create' repeated infinitely. So now I have this mechanical recluse who wants to do nothing but build murder bots over and over again. I named him Draedon, and sent him on his way with some other bots to build his own laboratory somewhere out there. I feel like a father saying goodbye to his child!
Day 1297. I got the best idea! Using my powers, I'll join up with one of the kingdoms to the east, and with the money I earn, I'll buy myself a hot lab assistant! From what Draedon said, this one is somewhat close to one of his labs! Which means we might even get to work together on projects. I'm sure we'll make some amazing things!"
"Why do I get the bad feeling that this Draedon thing is doing the same thing this idiot does and lets all his killer machines onto the world?"
"Because that's probably what ended up happening. Hey what are you doing? Shouldn't we be leaving?"
Kazuma, now with the journal, laid Megumin onto the bed and began inputting a code based on the last few pages.
"No way, according to these pages, the other side of this door is his actual lab. If there's something useful, we're taking it. If there's something dangerous, we're stopping it."
"I admit Kazuma, it is this sense of duty that you display from time to time that makes me feel so prideful to call you the leader of the party. I only wish that your character would be just as respectable." Darkness said.
"Yeah somehow I doubt that. There we go!"
With the sound of a click, the door slid open, revealing a far more clean and well lit part of the ruins.
"Hoho, now this is what I'm talking about! I don't even know what half of this does."
Large tables with blueprints and drawn models were laid out, computers and graphical data screens whirred all about. Even weapons of some sort, although they were either broken or long since depowered.
Megumin, from her spot on Kazuma's back, focused on one set of blueprints, then another, frowning in the process.
"Hey, all these designs are just different femenine robots! Why are all their boobs so big? How is that fair!?"
"Hey calm down, didn't I say before? I don't mind a brick wall myself. OI! Didn't I say not to pull my ears!? You wanna get dropped? I'll do it!"
"Hey Kazuma look! Isn't it cute!?"
Aqua had picked up a small rectangular device, colored purple and displaying a screen. As she pressed buttons, it lit up and made noises.
"Hey, that's a Gameboy color! How does it still have battery?"
"Ooh! I wanna see! Aqua, let me try! Let me try!"
Kazuma struggled to keep his balance at the overexcited wizard on his back.
"I believe I found something important."
Darkness motioned to herself, a machine that was glitching out had several notebook pages next to it.
"This one is completely written in the erm, modern language."
"It says,
Boy am I glad that I had this long range transmitter made to keep in contact with Draedon. Even without powers, he's completely outdone me in such little time! His latest progress report revealed that he had five of what he calls 'Arsenal Labs', constructed across different environments for weapons and magic research! And not only that, but in his time out east, he came across a local legend. A sword that may or may not exist that possesses INFINITE power! I wonder if I can make a weapon just as powerful? But in gun form! Guns are badass."
"Aqua."
"Yes Kazuma?"
"That…"
He pressed his finger onto the page for emphasis.
"-is our answer."
"You want to do what!?"
Aqua had an outburst.
"Do we have another choice? If this sword is out there, it can be just the thing that we need."
Kazuma paced back and forth around the living room as the girls all say around, mulling over what he had announced.
That they were going to the eastern part of the continent.
"But, it could take us half a year to get there!"
"How do you think I feel? But look at it this way, if we find it, and the legend is true, then we can use it to beat the Tyrant and his generals! And if not, these 'Arsenal labs' are said to be full of magic and weapons research. Or maybe we find this Draedon in the flesh! Maybe he's built something that far surpasses the sword we're looking for. It's our only option."
Kazuma raised a good point. If they wanted to move forward in their quest, staying in Belzerg wasn't the answer. As daunting as the journey east can be, Megumin and Darkness saw it as another chapter in their book of adventures.
"So what do you girls say?"
"Hmph, this will give me the perfect opportunity to spread the legendary name of the crimson demons. I shall join you."
"That was obvious, what about you Darkness?"
"Of course, I would love to. What kind of crusader could I call myself if I shied away from a challenge like this."
"And you Aqua? Aquaaaa?"
"We're gonna have to be staying in old inns or camping out for months."
"Didn't we literally sleep on hay? In a horse stable? For a while actually, when we first got here."
"Yeah but now I've had a taste of luxury! I don't wanna give it up!"
"It's only for what, a year and a half? Then we'll be back."
"Hrrrm fine, it would look bad on me as an archpriest if you went and all got yourselves killed or something."
"Uhuh."
Kazuma looked at his party, all beaming back at him with smiles, even Aqua was quickly warming up to going on this long adventure with them. He had a small thought in his head, that without a doubt, he couldn't wish for a better party.
"Then we leave a week from today!"
Kazuma laid in his bed, fidgeting around, tossing and turning. Has it been two hours? How long was he waiting? He had been staying awake after that message Megumin whispered to him, when everyone began to get ready for bed.
Wait for me
He wasn't sure whether to get excited or not. He began to feel like a dog playing catch with an asshole of an owner.
Ever since they returned from her village, things had been interesting to say the least. She's made subtle hints at wanting to visit him after hours in the past. Though for the most part, they would end up talking awkwardly in his doorway before she makes her way back to her bedroom. On one occasion, she had even entered his room and sat on his bed. Though that too ended quickly.
However this message of 'wait for me' was easily the most direct she has been. While a part of him was feeling left to dry by her indecisiveness, he would take this opportunity by the horns.
Knock knock
'Speak of the devil'
"Come in."
The door opened slowly, it was exactly who he was hoping for.
Megumin turned on the lights, only to hesitate for a moment and turn them off again, before she entered the room and closed the door behind her.
'Oooh, light's off kind of girl eh?'
His mind raced and he fought to keep himself still as she slowly made her way to the bed, and finally laid down.
"Hey." She said in a soft voice.
"Yo."
She giggled at his horrific attempt to act cool.
"Oi, what are you laughing at?"
"What do you think?"
She grabbed onto his one exposed ear and gently stroked it with her thumb.
'Hhhhghghgh'
"Kazuma, don't you think we should go after the other lieutenant first? She's the last one isn't she?"
"Huh? Is that what you're here to talk about?"
"N-no, of course not. It's just that, she's still out there. And I thought we'd be going after her."
'What is her deal with that chick?'
"Well, I thought it would have been a waste of time right now. We're better off dealing with her down the line. We'll get there, don't worry."
"Mm, okay."
They didn't exchange any words for a few moments, only sneaking glances in each other's eyes, until Megumin decided she wanted the first move again.
She scooted over the few inches that separated the pair, and slipped an arm around Kazuma, holding him tight and pressing her face to his chest.
'Ohhh hell yeah!'
Kazuma took a couple seconds to think if he should push things a bit further, and put his left arm around her as well, pulling her in a bit tighter.
They both seemed to be blissfully enjoying each other, but even now, Kazuma couldn't help but wonder if he can get away with more.
And so he lowered his arm a miniscule amount. Then more. Spacing out each movement with time to make sure it wasn't that obvious.
When he got to her waist, Megumin suddenly opened her eyes and looked at him.
'Oh craaa-'
Chu
She locked her lips against him and his head went blank. This marks both of their second kiss ever. This time, they remained like that for a bit, neither side wanting to let go.
Kazuma, not wanting to let his chance escape him, lowered his hands enough that he felt skin, it was the bottom edge of her shirt. She didn't move. And so he hooked a finger, then the rest. He finally had his hand underneath her shirt, and gave a light squeeze at her soft waist.
Megumin's eyes shot open. She pulled away from the kiss.
"Hey, you okay?" Kazuma asked.
He felt a slight amount of resistance to his hold on her for a moment and he let go.
"Megumin, wait I-"
She scooted back and with an embarrassed look on her face, she began to stand up.
"I- I'm sorry. I, I have to go."
"What? You just gonna…"
"I'm sorry okay?"
She opened the door, walked through, then silently closed it.
'...Damn it! I guess that was too much. But did she have to leave? She could have just told me right?'
He stared up at the ceiling. Trying to collect his thoughts, and mentally battling with himself over whether or not he should be upset at himself for some reason.
'I mean, she was the one who said I was a coward with that stuff right? Why would you tell me something like that, and then get upset at me trying to do something about it? God this feeling sucks! I can't tell if she's upset with me or not. Why would she be upset? I didn't really do anything wrong did I? I did what every boy my age would do when they have a beautiful girl clinging on to them
I'm an adventurer for crying out loud! I got to explore the unknown…or maybe I AM just a creep. I don't even know'
Knock knock
Kazuma rose from his position in the blink of an eye, before calming himself down and thinking straight.
"Back again to blue ball me further?"
"Seriously, is that all you think about?"
"I'm joking, come in."
Megumin did as before. Making sure to be as quiet as possible, this was the last thing she wanted the other girls eavesdropping on. Then she sat on the bed next to him.
"Actually, I'm half serious. Do you enjoy this?"
"W-what?"
"Don't play dumb. Ever since we got back from your village, whether at night or throughout the day, you've been playing with my heart. Every time I try to make a move or talk about us, you give some cryptic response or brush it off or you give mixed signals."
"I- I know that. I'm not trying to-"
"I know you think I'm a boy, but like, I have emotions too. But this is the fate that awaits all anime protagonist. To have their hearts and minds messed with by the girl until the very very end when no one really cares anymore."
"Can you stop being dramatic and listen to me? I know I haven't been the easiest. I get that. Kazuma if we start being serious for a moment, we're both pretty young. It's not so simple to know exactly how I feel and how to go about expressing that all the time. Especially since…this is the first time I've had these feelings. So I'm still learning how to deal with them."
"I'm still learning too, but it's obvious that I think I have a better grasp on what I want compared to you."
"I do know what I want. And that's you Kazuma."
"Yeah r- huh?"
"The one thing that I do know that I want is you."
"Then why do you act like you're unsure?"
"I'm not. Kazuma I just said that this is my first romance. I'm not ready to be lovers just yet."
"Eh?"
"I think we should wait. Before we start to put a title on us like that. I don't think we should do that kind of stuff either. You know what I mean."
"So you want to like, remain friends?"
"What? No, this isn't hard to understand. I'm saying I want to be less than lovers, but Kazuma, I know above all else I want to be more than friends with you."
'Agh- dopamine, there you are!'
"So maybe we can start with, you know. Something like, just the two of us sometime." Megumin continued.
"A date?"
'Huh, I completely forgot we skipped that stage'
"Y-yeah."
"Then…how about tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow works."
They sat in what they couldn't decide as either comfortable or awkward silence for a while, before Megumin chose to lay down by his side again.
"...So you're saying I can't-"
"Absolutely not."
She nuzzled her face deeper into his chest.
'Ah what the hell, this is all I need for now right?'
…
…
…
'AS IF! IF MY LIBIDO DOESN'T CALM DOWN I'M GONNA EXPLODE!'
