RIP Robbie Coltrane, March 30, 1950-October 14, 2022
Shadow and Modeus kept on going, their weapons ready in case of an attack. No attack came, however, and the two were free to proceed to Lucifer's domain. It came shortly enough, and when they got there, Shadow discovered that it was an office fitting of the leader of Hell, with a couple of large gold statues of a woman whom Shadow presumed to be Lucifer, plus various awards hanging on the walls. There was also a line of Pinkies standing between two rows of lit braziers, apparently lined up in wait for something. Shadow raised his hand to signal Modeus to stop. He then whispered to her:
"Be very quiet. Maybe we can sneak around them."
Shadow and Modeus attempted to tiptoe around the line of Pinkies in an attempt to get to whatever they were waiting for. Thus far, things were going well. Then, Shadow accidentally kicked a rock, and this drew the attention of the Pinkies.
"MODEUS, OPEN FIRE!"
Shadow and Modeus gunned down the Pinkies without much trouble. Much to Shadow's surprise, Modeus didn't even bat an eyelash at killing. That aside, they both approached a large desk, where a woman whom Shadow presumed to be Lucifer was seated at her throne. This woman, like most of the others, had white hair, red eyes, pale pinkish skin and a black arrow-tipped tail. However, the horns sticking out of her head were crooked and pure white, her hair was long, tied into a tail at the end like Cerberus', and she had a spiked, crown-like black hairband keeping her bangs in place. Her clothing had pretty much the same scheme as most of the other women, with a black suit jacket over a red long-sleeve button-down shirt, black necktie, white gloves, black dress pants, a stylized sigil on her lapel and black knee-high, high-heel leather boots. She wasn't the bustiest woman ever, but she still cut a nice figure. She was surrounded by two Barons of Hell, and she swirled a glass of red wine as Shadow and Modeus approached.
"I have foreseen your reappearance…Shadow the Hedgehog."
Shadow's Hedgehog Sense tingled again. Somehow, this woman knew more than she was letting on, and she seemed awfully familiar, but the nature of her familiarity was beyond him.
"You…you must be Lucifer, but how do you know my name?"
"I am recognized by various appellations: Satan, the Devil, Abaddon…but there is one which you are perhaps most acquainted with more than any others."
Lucifer stepped in front of her desk, after which she was consumed by a black gas, and she appeared to shrink as she transformed into a being with whom Shadow was all too familiar…Mephiles the Dark.
"Mephiles…" Shadow pointed his M60 at Mephiles. "…I remember everything, you son of a bitch."
"Perhaps you do, my dear Shadow, but it shan't be any amelioration to you."
"Wait…you actually know Lucifer?" said Modeus.
"Indeed, Modeus. Shadow and I have been on most familiar relations with each other since four months ago. He endeavored to enclose me within an artifact known as the Scepter of Darkness in a vain bid to forestall my grand plot to annihilate this forsaken planet. Popular accounts had it that Princess Elise of Soleanna terminated my existence by extinguishing the flame of Solaris, of which I was but one portion of. Sadly for her and for the both of you, my continuation shall remain quite operational."
Shadow swapped the M60 for the M202. "That's what you think!"
"Lucifer…whoever you are, I've had enough of you treating me and the rest of my fellow women like shit!" said Modeus. "Either listen to our demands or Judgment's gonna hear about this!"
"High Prosecutor Judgment…she is no more," said Mephiles. "I reveled in her suffering."
Modeus gasped. "You BITCH! DIE!"
Modeus emptied an entire magazine of 5.56mm ammo into Mephiles. However, the bullets simply deformed upon hitting him and dropped harmlessly to the ground. Mephiles laughed.
"Oh, no no no, it is you who shall perish!"
"Well if she's gonna die, then so am I!" said a familiar voice.
"Me too!"
"Me three!"
"Don't forget me, either!"
"Or us!"
"What about me!?"
Shadow and Modeus turned around to see that Malina, Azazel, Zdrada, Justice, Cerberus and Pandemonica had come all this way to join them as well. Mephiles clenched his fists when he saw the other women revolting against him.
"You dare raise an insurrection against me!?" said Mephiles. "Very well…if that is your aspiration, then it shall be your last!"
More black smoke formed around Mephiles, and it billowed into a gigantic cloud. By the time this cloud dissipated, it had become obvious that Mephiles had transformed into a huge gray dragon. The women gently backed away, but Shadow did his best to rally them into standing their ground:
"Come on! Don't let his size fool you! Grab a weapon and let's show him how we really do things in Hell!"
Shadow proceeded to pass out the rest of his weapons and ammo to the other women, the M79 tripling when Cerberus grabbed it. After he gave a crash course in handling the weapons, he proceeded to take on Mephilucifer, with the rest of the women backing him up. The dragon attempted to breathe fire on them, but Shadow blocked it before retaliating with two nuclear rockets from his M202, which also took out the Barons of Hell. Since he ran out, he loaded another pack of rockets into the Grim Reaper, but ended up having to block a number of energy orbs that Mephilucifer shot at them. He also ended up having to throw a fresh barrel and oven mitt to Malina so she could change the M60's barrel. Despite the intense odds, neither Shadow nor any of the women backed down, though the women had to take cover occasionally to avoid being toasted. Shadow, however, had no such inhibitions, and proceeded to fire four more Blockbuster rockets at Mephilucifer. While reloading, he launched a couple of Chaos Spears at the dragon to distract it. After blocking some more fire and energy orbs, Shadow fired four more nuke rockets at Mephilucifer. The more rockets he fired at the beast, the closer he felt as though he was getting to stopping them. However, he should've brought more rockets for the battle. Not only that, but…"
"Shit, I'm all outta ammo!" said Malina.
"Me too!" said Modeus.
"We're out, too!" said Cerberus.
"Yeah, all of us are out!" said Justice.
"Goddamn it!" said Shadow. "Out of options…CHAOS LANCE!"
In a last bid to stop Mephilucifer, Shadow threw a Chaos Lance directly at the dragon's head. This was it: either Satan would be defeated, or all of the Ultimate Life Form's killing and fucking would be for naught. The lance struck the dragon's head, and he would have his answer as the lance exploded: the dragon let out a mighty, bloodcurdling scream as it thrashed about and soon dissolved in a large black cloud of smoke, leaving Lucifer, still alive, but badly bruised.
"Felicitations, Shadow." Lucifer rubbed her head. "You have bested me yet again. Present your ultimatum."
"Well, I'm going to let the ladies go first. Pandemonica?"
Pandemonica stepped forward. "I want the highest-quality fair trade coffee beans!"
"It shall be done," said Lucifer.
Modeus stepped up next. "I want more condoms…and lube."
"Then they shall come to your possession."
Cerberus took their turn next. "We want more crepes!"
"I shall grant those to you.
Next up was Malina. "I want an Internet connection so I can play Heroes III online!"
"I shall initiate work on that infrastructure."
Zdrada came after her sister. "I just want more smokes."
"And thus they be granted."
Azazel took her turn next. "I just want to continue my research uninterrupted."
"And thus you shall."
Finally, Justice stepped up. "I want my position as High Prosecutor restored now that Judgment's gone."
"I shall grant you your old position. And you, Shadow?"
"I have two: first of all, I want you to discontinue your plan to invade the mortal realm."
"I shall accede to that request."
"Second of all…" Shadow took a paper bag and pulled out a crepe. "…this is my last crepe, and I want you to have it."
In contrast to her usual ice-cold demeanor, Lucifer's eyes widened, and she gasped when she saw the crepe.
"YES, PLEASE!"
Lucifer snatched the crepe from Shadow and took a huge bite out of it. After chewing for a little, she let out a hearty "nom" as the taste of pancake, Nutella and quark filled her mouth. While Shadow enjoyed seeing his one-time foe so happy like this, his Hedgehog Sense was telling him that she had something else in mind, too, and when she finished the crepe, it would become obvious…
"Ladies, I implore you to vacate my office," said Lucifer. "I have a confidential proceeding that I must deliberate with Shadow."
"Right!" said Justice.
Justice led everybody out of the office except Shadow and Lucifer.
"What's up, Lucifer?"
Lucifer smiled. "So, Shadow…my most elite spies have apprised me of your numerous acts of copulation with my underlings, and being that I regard you as a most handsome hedgehog, I aspire to satiate myself with such an act from you as well."
Shadow blushed. "Wait…you want me to have sex with YOU!?"
"Indeed I do."
Shadow took a couple of steps back. "But I…you…you're Mephiles, one of my greatest foes! I mean, first you try to destroy time and space, and now THIS!?"
"Does my capability to assume whatever biological gender I so desire present complications for you?"
Shadow shook his head and waved his hands around. "N-n-no! I…"
Lucifer knelt down and put a hand on Shadow's shoulder. "Shadow, I comprehend that my prior dissension with you is fomenting disinclination within your heart. However, I assure you that I bear no ill will against you anymore, and it would mean a great deal to me if you sated my carnal lust."
Shadow stared deeply into Lucifer's eyes. Where once he had seen nothing but a coldhearted desire to conquer, he could now see that she was being sincere with her offer and that she really meant no harm, so the answer was obvious…
"All right, Lucifer; I'll give it to you."
Lucifer put her other hand on Shadow's shoulder. "Grand! I perceived that you would be most amenable!"
Lucifer kissed Shadow, who wrapped his arms around her. Even if Lucifer and Mephiles were one and the same, Shadow just found her to be such an attractive woman and found her lips to be so heavenly that any inhibitions he had about the whole thing melted away. In essence, kissing her was pretty much no different from kissing any of the other women he'd locked lips with. In fact, the fact that he was pressing his lips against that of the one and only Satan got his heart racing like hardly anything else could. As he'd done many times over, Shadow helped Lucifer to strip, and she lied down on the ground.
"I want you, Shadow the Hedgehog."
Shadow checked the box of condoms. Luckily, there was one last condom, so he put it on and entered Lucifer, after which he began thrusting. Thus far, she was one of the more pleasant-feeling women he'd had the fortune to make love to, but what really sealed the deal for him was the fact that he was dominating someone whom he'd once held a serious grudge against. It really tickled his fancy to hear her moaning like this, so much so that he had to concentrate in order not to have a premature orgasm. Still, he'd lasted this long, so he figured that his chances were as good as ever.
"Shadow, this is so SPLENDID!"
Indeed it was splendid for Lucifer. Having lusted for Shadow ever since she first met him, it gave her great pleasure to finally have him thrusting inside her at last. Though ordinarily dominant by nature, she didn't mind him taking her over. In fact, she'd had more than one fantasy about a devilishly handsome man laying her down and giving it to her. Now that her fantasy had become reality, all she could think about was how big he was and how good it felt to take him all in. The longer their little lovemaking session went on, the more she wanted to get off, and finally, after taking him for so long…
"Shadow! SHADOW! OH MY, I…"
Like women before her, Lucifer grabbed Shadow's hips and screamed with pleasure as the resulting orgasm surged through every inch of her body, giving her wave after wave of pleasure like she'd never known before. Shadow let out a delighted laugh as he continued to pump into her, taking delight in his own orgasm knowing that his one-time foe was getting off on him, continuing to thrust until both parties were well and truly satisfied. He looked into her eyes and smiled for a bit before he pulled out.
"Was that good for you, my dear Lucifer?"
"Sh…Shadow…that was WONDERFUL! Oh, such gratification had eluded me until now! I am much obliged!"
Lucifer wrapped her arms around Shadow and gave him another kiss before snuggling with him.
"Shadow…is it conceivable that you would absolve me of my prior misdeeds committed against you and your comrades?"
"Lucifer…Mephiles…whoever you are…I forgive you."
"Awww!"
Lucifer tightened her grip on Shadow and nuzzled against him. She even scratched in front of his ear to make him purr, much to his delight.
"I love you, Shadow the Hedgehog!"
"I love you too, Lucifer!"
"I implore you, call me 'Luci', my dear…or 'Mephy', if that so arouses you."
"Then you can call me 'Shaddy'."
"Oh, what a delightful moniker!"
Shadow and Lucifer continued to snuggle for a bit. Knowing that his former rival held no hatred against him, and knowing that his quest was complete, he felt all secure and snuggly in her arms. However, as secure and snuggly he felt, even this moment couldn't last forever…
"Shaddy, you've provided me with a significant degree of pleasure. However, I must recommence my labor. Hell is in disarray, and there is much that requires cleansing."
Shadow rubbed the back of his head and smiled nervously. "Oh…sorry about the mess…"
Lucifer smiled and thrust her hand at Shadow before putting her clothes back on. "There is hardly any necessity for being unnerved! I am only too jubilant to get the exercise!"
Shadow nodded. "If you say so. Goodbye, Luci. It was a pleasure!"
"The pleasure is likewise, Shaddy!"
Shadow and Lucifer waved at each other as the former began his journey out of Hell.
As Shadow was taking his journey back home, a familiar voice called out to him…
"Shaddy, wait!"
Shadow turned around. Modeus was following him again.
"What do you want, Modeus?"
Modeus clasped her hands together. "Please, take me back home with you!"
Shadow raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure about that? I mean, I love you and all, but I'll need to check in with my best friend first."
"Of course I'm sure! You gave me the best time of my life, honey!"
Shadow smiled. "Then it's settled. Let's go. Just be careful, it can get cold up there."
With one Chaos Control, Shadow and Modeus were back in the mortal realm and headed home, but not before calling Rouge. Modeus gasped when she saw Rouge's mansion.
"Wow, this looks like such a nice place! How did you get this?"
"Actually, this belongs to my best friend," said Shadow. "Let's just say that she has some good connections."
Modeus giggled. "Nice!"
Shadow rang the doorbell. Soon enough, Rouge showed up.
"SHADDY!"
Rouge gave Shadow a big hug, which he returned.
"I missed you so much!" said Rouge. "I'm so glad you're home!"
"I'm glad to be home, too!" said Shadow.
Soon enough, Rouge let go of Shadow.
"Wow, you seem a lot happier than usual!" Rouge put a hand on her hip. "And this must be your new friend?"
Shadow nodded. "Indeed. Rouge, this is Modeus. Modeus, this is my best friend Rouge."
"Nice to meet you!" said Modeus.
Rouge and Modeus shook hands.
"So tell me, how did you and Shaddy meet?" asked Rouge.
Modeus put her index finger up to her chin. "Well…I found him journeying through Hell somehow…"
"Hell, you say?" Rouge then frowned and put her fists on her hips. "Wait a minute…Shaddy, have you been going through Mommy's work files?"
Shadow gave Rouge a dead glare. "No."
"Shaddy, lying to your mommy is not a nice thing to do!"
Shadow crossed his arms. "It's so cute how you think I'm lying."
Rouge took a step towards Shadow. "Shaddy, Mommy's very angry!"
"Big deal. I've met worse than you."
Rouge growled and tackled Shadow to the ground.
"WHAT THE HELL!? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Yeah, how about now, Shaddy!?"
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ROUGE, STAHP!"
"Who's your mommy!? Who's your mommy!?"
"Y-YOU ARE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! STAHP THE TICKLES!"
"Hey, this looks fun!" said Modeus. "Let me try!"
"MODEUS, NO! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
And so, Shadow continued to surrender to the tickles. Still, he figured it was a price to pay for keeping the world safe.
Criticism is gold. Negativity and nitpicking are pyrite.
