Entry 65: Beginning of the End

...

What does it mean to be human? It's a tough question, that I'm sure countless philosophers and people way smarter than me have asked themselves countless times. Yet even they have a hard time coming up with an answer to that question. It's also a question I want the answer to as well. For a long time, I never really considered myself human, or really thought about the fact that I was living. Yet, now I want to know. Weird, isn't it?

"What does it mean to be human, big bro?" A silver haired young girl asked me. She and I were sitting on the ground of what looked to be a small playroom for children. She was wearing a simple white dress. Her face was still hidden by shadows. "Shiro kept asking people that too, remember?"

"I do." Unlike any other time I was... here, I was myself. I wasn't the younger version of myself, no, I was me. My hands hovered over a few colorful playing blocks. Grabbing a purple block, I handed it to the girl. Wordlessly, she took it and began to build using it along with other blocks that laid around the ground. "He kept annoying Koko and Hondomachi with that question."

"Hehehe, he can be a real pain in the butt, huh?"

Her voice was a strange amalgamation of multiple voices I've heard in my life. I could hear Hiiragi's high pitch, Miku's monotone voice and even Senjogahara's venom. I don't even remember how you sound anymore. "He can. Anyway, I don't know. People say a lot of different things when they're asked that. They can say your experiences, the feeling of love, or even the fact that you think. As for me, I have no idea." I kept my eyes on what she was building. She seemed to be lazaly making an apartment tower.

"Hmmmm, you know what I think, Kuro?" Shifting my attention to her, I was still creeped out by her lack of facial features. "I think being human means being with others."

"Course you would say that. You always got along with everyone who wasn't a complete ass- I mean mean person." It felt wrong to swear in front of a child. Even if I did so back when we were always around each other. "But where does that leave loners, or people like me who can be real assholes?"

"You're too mean to yourself."

"You're too nice."

"Hmmmm, fine. Then how about this! Being human means eating delicious food with the people you love! Remember when we had that cream puff with shiro? It was after you got... hit by those guys." I remembered the day pretty well. I got into another fight with the kids and got a good beating by the Yakuza running the place. It was when I got back to our shared room that Shrio showed me that he snuck some treats from outside.

"Yeah... they tasted pretty good."

"... I wish we could do that again." At that moment, Sora glitched out, and transformed into a younger version of me. His black hair fell over his face and the white dress that belonged to Sora turned into a beat up white T-Shirt and ripped up white pants. "I want to see W again."

"...I know."

"But we won't. Will we?"

"Probably not." The younger version of me looked at the apartment building that Sora had built. "Sorry."

"...are we human? Or are we the demon that everyone said we were?"

Standing up, I walked over to the kid and placed a hand on his head. "Sorry kid, but demons don't exist."

"...aw man! That woulda been cool!" yeah, I guess so.

July 22nd: Morning

Perhaps it was fate that woke me up when I did, because when I opened my eyes, all I saw was the floor coming at me. Wait- NO! My arms instantly tried to stop my fall, and were only marangalily useful. While I was mostly able to cushion my upper body, my face still smacked right dab into the floor. "Fuuuuck, that hurt." Pushing myself off the ground, I rubbed my now sore nose before looking at my bed. Sure enough, the one who pushed me out was Nino. Half of her body was hanging off of the bed and a speck of droll falling from her mouth. "Nino..."

"...n-nah, I can't eat any...more..." A food dream? Of all things. I quickly let go of any anger and stood up. I glanced over to Miku, on the other side, still sound asleep. Fuck it, might as well start breakfast.

It took the girls another hour before either of them woke up. As soon as she woke up, Nino ran into the bathroom, hogging it first from her sister. "Kuro, your nose is red."

"Yeah, I... hit myself with the fridge door. Wasn't paying attention." Handing Miku some toast, I sat against my bed and sighed. "Sorry about the plain breakfast. I haven't had the chance to go to the supermarket since I got better."

Giving me an angelic smile, she took a bite of her toast. "It's fine. We can go later."

"Sure. Ichika's supposed to come over, but I doubt she'll be here anytime soon. She probably has work."

"Yup, that's why we came yesterday after all!" Such amazing planning. Soon after my brother left yesterday, they told me that they apparently struck up a deal with Maki. For a hundred yen, she won't come over and leave us alone. She really didn't want to stick around with me, huh. But, to be fair, I don't think I'll need a babysitter for much longer. "Hmmm, Kuro. Your hair is kinda..."

"Hm? Ah, I didn't get the chance to fix it yet. Sorry." Grabbing a bit of my white hair, I rubbed it between my fingers. It's getting kinda long again... "Maybe I should get another haircut."

Standing up, Miku walked over to me, sat on my bed behind me, and locked my head between her pajama covered legs. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. "Hey, no enjoying my thighs!" You can't stop me! After giving the top of my head a light smack, she started to play with my hair. "Yeah, you're right. It is a bit longer than I expected. But... I think it looks better long."

"What's with you and long hair? You told me to grow it out a few years ago. Miku, don't tell me you have a fetish?"

"F-Fetish? No. You're being r-ridiculous! I have no fetishes at all!" Leaning my head back, I simply looked at her. "I mean... you're being a p-pervert!"

"Miku, I love you. But you and I both know that I'm not the most perverted one in this relationship. And that's saying something." Puffing out her cheeks, she tried to poke my eyes out. But I was too fast and quickly moved my gaze back to the table. "I promised to make you happy. So... I'll grow my hair out again."

"...thank you." Her quiet appreciation was absolutely adorable to me! She's so fuckin cute~ With out conversation over, she went back to playing with my hair. A few minutes in, the bathroom door opened and-

"WOAH! CLOTHES, NINO!" I quickly smacked my hands over my eyes, if just to protect Nino's dignity. However, even through the gaps of my fingers, that I may or may not have widened unconsciously, I could still see her. The only towel she had on was wrapped around her head.

"Not my fault you only have one towel." Wait, I had more! Who stole em?! I swear to god if it was Maki. "Plus, it's not like it's stuff you haven't seen. In fact last night, you were practically att-"

"S-Stop, stop, stop! Just put on clothes dammit!" Her teasing was getting to the best of me and I actually turned my head away.

"Psh, prude. Miku, showers open now~"

"One second." After a few more seconds of her playing with my hair, she stood up. "Done. And don't tease Kuro too much. You know how weak he is."

"Ah, yes. What a weak little baby our boyfriend is. Just take a shower already. You know he can't be away from his Mommy for too long." I'm starting to think she still does hate me a little bit! Groaning and blushing a bit, Miku walked into the bathroom and quietly shut the door behind her. I was still trying my best to keep my eyes OFF of Nino, but it was becoming harder to negotiate with the hormonal boy in my head. Just count. Pi! 3.14159265359... What comes after the second nine? "So, whatcha doin?" My mental exercise was interpreted by Nino taking a seat on my lap. DANGEROUS! At least she was wearing clothes. Well, calling just a red shirt clothes is saying a bit much.

"N-Nothing. Just thinking is all. So, what'd you guys do since we last saw each other?" Looking back at my girlfriend, I noticed that she had decided to sit facing me. Her legs wrapped around my torso. "Can you please not do that?"

"Do what?" A smug grin found its way on her far to close face. "You're blushing~"

"So are you."

"Hm, guess I am... And something's poking me~"

"...so, how's Yotsuba?" Smirking at me, she finally relented and slid off of me, falling back onto the floor. "I've kinda been worried about her."

Her joking tone and smile went away when I showed my concern. "Huh? How come? She's been pretty normal the past few days. Well, other than... That."

"Don't just say something so mysterious when I'm nervous here!'

Snickering to herself, the short haired girl smacked my arm. "I'm joking, I'm joking! She's fine. The only annoying thing the past few days has been that idiot tutor. Asshole has been inviting himself over everyday for tutoring!" Huh? Wait, is Taro... on the attack? "Asshole said he wanted to make sure we weren't getting dumber by the day. His words. I wanted to punch him in the face for that."

"If Taro's anything, it's blunt." Did he take my advice in his own way? Great! Now, that asshole better hurry up and confess before my sister becomes any more depressed. "Plus, it doesn't hurt to do a bit more studying. Don't want you to fail anymore."

"Who was it that failed math again? You or me?" Touché. "And who was it that denied Shitty Ugi's offers to tutor them in the hospital? You or me?"

"Look. You and I both know that shit's boring."

"Exactly." Interpreting our conversation, Miku walked out of the bathroom. Thankfully clothed in an oversized black hoodie and short pants. "Other than that shit for brains tutor coming everyday, we've just been hanging out I guess. We couldn't do much with Ichika working all the time and one of our sisters is always here babysitting you."

"And it'd feel wrong to do something without you... we did plan on going camping after you got better, though." Picking up her headphones and putting them around her neck, Miku walked back over to me and took her spot directly behind me. "Oh, you didn't take off the twin tails."

"Twin tails?" Nino handed me my phone and I looked at my reflection. Sure enough, my hair was pulled up into two twin tails on the top of my head. They look more like horns than tails. Doesn't help that they're white. "At least give me a cool hairdo."

"Your hair's too short for me to do something like that." Is that one of the reasons she wants me to grow it out? "Hmmm. Maybe we can-"

The sound of the front door opening interrupted us. Looking up, all three of us were completely horrified to see Ichika's smiling face at my door. "Well, well, well. There are my missing sisters. Here I thought you might have been kidnapped." Walking in, the pure and utter anger was practically wafting from the eldest sister. "So, what's up? How'd you girls sleep?"

"I-Ichika, look. We were-"

"Nino... do you have any idea how worried I was? Didn't help that Shiro and Itsuki were being so weird about your guy's disappearance!" Wait... they didn't tell Ichika?! Oh, come on! At least think of it like a weird lie or something! Unfortunately for me, the actress turned her gaze to me. Her sickeningly sweet smile never leaving her face "And you. Here I thought we came to an understanding."

"Look... I'm a simp."

"..." Fuck.

Same Day: Afternoon

Honestly, I'm starting to think that maybe those girls didn't need a bodyguard. "Fucking hell, she can pack a punch." Rubbing my cheek, it hurt way more than Maki's slap. I was standing outside Lunalight, after being kicked out of my apartment by Ichika. She said she wanted to lecture them before I got my full punishment. So, here I was. Sitting down on the street, not knowing what to do now. Ugh, I hope she doesn't get too mad.

"Kuro. What're you doing here?" Looking up, I was greeted by my ninja loving friend. I was still baffled by the amount of black he was wearing in this summer heat. Ignoring his black clothes, I noticed that he was holding what looked to be a book filled with coupons. Coupons for the closest grocery store. "Hm? Did you get hit or something? You're cheek's all read."

"Long story... anyway. Can I borrow that?" When I pointed to his hand, he immediately hid it behind his back. "Hey, it's just some coupons! Come on! Don't be so greedy."

"...can't."

"Look. I'll pay for your groceries if you let me use a couple coupons."

"...can't." Who says no to free groceries?! Don't tell me... is he intending on buying something dirty? Something inappropriate? "Look, I just want my chocolate milk."

"Seth... I hate chocolate mil- actually. That might be pretty good..." His eyes flared with anger and jealousy, but I quickly waved him off. "I promise not to use your coupon for milk. Okay?"

"...fine." When he turned around dramatically, his black sweater swooshed in the wind. How is he not sweating his ass off? Man's wearing a hoodie, jeans, a shirt and a mask! All black. Damn Ninjas are a bad influence on him. "Well? Let's go."

"Ah, right." Standing up, OI glanced back at Lunalight. Sorry Miku, Nino. Hopefully you guys are still alive by the time I get back. The walk to the grocery store was relatively silent, but as soon as we walked in, Seth turned to me. Pure determination on his face... I mean eyes. "Woah. What's up?"

"here. " He practically threw the coupon book at me. "I already took the ones I wanted to use. We should spli-"

"Why don't we shop together? It's been a while since we hung out." Clearly not anticipating that, he flinched and turned his gaze away from me, and nodded like a shy high school student who was talking to their crush. "Huh, you can be weirdly cute, even with the mask."

"D-Don't call me that." Adorable. Stifling a chuckle, I grabbed a shopping cart and walked into the store. Making my way to the fresh food section first.. So, what are you planning on getting?"

"Well, practically everything. These past few days, I've been living off of delivery. The only stuff I had at home was some bread, eggs and veggies that Ichika didn't want. The eggs and veggies were devoured yesterday."

"I see... then let's look through the book for some deals." I handed the book back to him and he began to flip through it. "Ah, tomatoes are on sale. 5 for-"

"Nope. I hate tomatoes." Those devil-like veggies are disgusting! Whether they're raw or cooked, I hate em! I even hate ketchup! The only time I'll ever eat anything made with them is in pizza sauce or pasta sauces. Mmmm, I could go for a pizza.

"...be an adult."

"Fuck off." Our shopping trip was going well. Other than him trying to get me to also buy eggplants, ew. Walking around the store, we finally got to his holy grail. The milk section. His eyes shone like a little kid in the candy store. "You really like milk, huh?"

"Of course. Calcium is an important part of making sure the human body can grow well." Yeah, that's not the reason. If it was, you'd drink normal milk. He seemed to notice I deind;y believe him but he also didn't seem to care. Pulling out a reusable bag from his sweater, he filled it up with the drink of the gods (his words). "Ah, you said you wanted some, right? If you do, grab one now. I usually buy the store's full inventory." No fucking way.

I suppose it makes sense when I think about it. Unlike myself and everyone else in the Sentinels, Seth's not an orphanage. He's a normal kid who joined us a few years ago, with the persimmon of his parents of course. Not to mention he's also a few years younger than us. I think he's only in his first year of high school. "I'm good. Anyway, how're your parents? Have you been home lately?"

"Eh, they're fine." He absentmindedly answered as he began filling up a second bag. "I visit them every other day but... ugh. I feel like they're talking my head off. Always asking what I want to do with my life, when am I going to let go of the ninja thing. Ugh, why can't they just leave me alone?" Ah, teenage angst. Is this how I behaved when I was pissed at Shiro? Well, I did dye my hair. So...

"Look, they're just worried about you. Honestly, I think you should appreciate them more." Unfortunately, he just ignored me and just continued stocking up. "Sorry if I'm overstepping."

"It's fine." After he got everything he wanted, we finished up my shopping. "...got everything you needed?" He asked in what I assumed was a smug was judging by the fact he was holding two bags while I held tne.

"Ha ha. Fuck you." Laughing to himself, we began to walk back home. "So...got any plans this summer?"

"I've got a friend who I'm planning on seeing every now and then." Ohhhh~ A girlfriend, huh? "No, I don't have a girlfriend. Honestly, romance doesn't really interest me at the moment."

"I see. Girls are scary, huh?"

"Doesn't help that the only girls I've known have been Maki and the Nakano sisters.' What's that supposed to mean? Chuckling to himself, he kept his gaze forward. "By the way... are you really planning on leaving Library?"

"Yeah... sorry. But I don't really feel like my place in the world is leading it. Sure, I'm glad for being a member and for everything that's come from it but... I don't want a life that's tied to the underworld. Even if it's Library's goal to protect people from that world. But I'm sure it'll be fine without me. Who knows, maybe my brother will choose you as the next head. I could see it."

Shaking his head, the black haired young man seemed to hate the idea. "Ninja's aren't usually in the spotlight." Sure. "Besides. I think you'd be better..."

"Sorry, Seth. But It's not my destiny." Nodding reluctantly, he and I continued the walk in silence. As much as I would like to stay and help everyone, it's not for me. Plus, I'm not exactly a leader.

Just as we got back into the lobby, Seth raised his hand to stop me from heading back into my apartment. "Hold on a sec." He quickly left for his own room, leaving me to wait. The lobby was empty at the moment, and it was really quiet. Wonder if Subaru, Saga and Take are out right now. Maki's probably still asleep. Thinking about my fellow teammates brought back the warning that my brother gave me yesterday. Seth or Saga might be working with Ono. That... is a hard pill to swallow but it is a possibility. Saga though? Her of all people? I don't think a girl like her could betray anyone on purpose. Seth... nah. I don't think he could do it either.

Interrupting my thoughts. My friend showed back up with a bottle of apple juice in his hand. "Here. Thought you looked a bit tired."

"So you're nice enough to give me a drink but not nice enough to give me your milk? Wow." Ignoring his shrug, I took the juice and opened it. Huh? You know how when you buy a juice and open it the first time, it takes a bit more effort to do so and also make a noise? It didn't do so this time. At first I paid it no mind until I raised the drink to my face and noticed the... off smell. I love apple juice. It's fucking delicious and one of the few things I've enjoyed my entire life. So I know how it smells. Even if it's that low quality shit, I know how it should smell. This... is not how it should smell. It was a bit more sour than it should have been and there was a strange sort of iron smell as well. It's spiked. "You know what. I'll drink it later. I should bring everything home first. Save it for after I finish bringing everything back. You know, as a treat."

While it's usually hard to know what Seth's feeling, because of his mask, this time it wasn't. For a split second, his eyes shone with a flicker of anger. And like a flicker, it vanished in an instant and was replaced with an amused look. "What a shame. You know, you make a really weird face whenever you drink apple juice, right? Like you've just hit a jackpot."

"What can I say? It's amazing." Closing the bottle, I held it in between my thumb and forefinger before grabbing the groceries again. I had to make sure to act completely casually as I walked to my room. Even as I felt Seth's gaze on my back. It wasn't until I got home that I was able to relax and let out a sigh. "Fuck." This... dammit. Why him?

"Welcome back, Ogata~" Looking up, I almost shat myself seeing Ichika's strained smile. "You were gone for quite a... wait. What's wrong?" And in an instant, her anger dissipated as her smile turned to a look of worry. "You look... really pale."

"...give me a moment." Placing down the groceries, I walked over to the kitchen and striped the bottle of juice of its branding skin and wrote with marker on it. Do not Drink! Who knows what's in this shit. "It's nothing. Just... don't worry about it." Pinching my nose, I tried my best to bury this feeling I felt in the pit of my stomach. It's Seth. There must be an explanation. I must be mistaken. I have to be. "Anyway, you didn't kill your sisters did-"

I've been with these girls for years. But never in my life had I seen Miku and Nino so... defeated. The two girls were kneeling on the floor. Eyes glued to the floor and with no soul in those eyes. "Oh no. We just had a good talk is all. Tee hee!"

"You can be an evil woman, Ichika." Placing the bottle in the back of a cabinet, I walked over to the two girls. "You alright guys?"

"..."

"..."

"Okay... what the hell did you say to them?" I received no answer and just sighed. "Ah well. You're helping me with dinner then."

"H-huh? I'm not really-"

"I'm still injured and you just scared my partners into a boo hoo. Tonight we'll have some grilled fish. You're in charge of the rice."

"You know... I've still got a bone to pick with you. But... you don't look so hot, so I'll help." Nodding my head in thanks, I handed her an apron and we began working on dinner. "So, are you sure you're alright?"

An important part of my organization who I believed was a good friend might be working with the girl who's hell bent on destroying my life and also might have also tried to kill my sister in law. In the end, shooting me. "I'm not."

"...want to talk about it?"

"It'd be best if I don't. Just more bullshit that I don't want to get you girls involved in."

"Just, don't get hurt again? Okay?" I'll try not to. But...I'm going to have to finish this soon. My life won't be peaceful until we get rid of Shiki Ono.