Description: Book 4: Of Gods and Immortals from Kitten's point of view.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. Everything belongs to Tamora Pierce.

Author's Note: This picks up directly after Carthak.

Chapter 4

Things are not right between my parents. They seemed alright when we rode the boat back from Carthak but now things are weird again! We spent a few days at Papa's tower which wasn't as much fun as I'd hoped. My parents just wanted to sit around and talk the entire time. Boring, boring, BORING! Now we're back at the palace again, which is fun for me, but Papa looks sad and tired all the time. Even spending time with Mama and me doesn't make him happy. I worry he's still having the bad dreams. At least I can roam the castle again and play with Kalasin. She lets me play with the powders and paints on her dresser. Mama doesn't need to know about that though.

Mama has started doing a strange thing with her mouth on a young man in the palace. It looks a bit like when parent birds feed their chicks, but I know she doesn't have any food in her mouth. I tried to ask Papa about it, but he just looked sad and didn't answer my question. I will ask Tkaa when he next visits. I'm not sure it's a good thing if it makes Papa so sad.

I like the Midwinter festivities. There are always lots of sweets to eat and I get lots of gifts from the humans that make up my friends and family. And there's the ball! I enjoy seeing all the women in their beautiful gowns and watching the dancing. There are so many dances and I never know how Papa remembers all the steps. Mama doesn't know as many dances, but she looks very pretty tonight in her dress. Papa said so when he spoke to her earlier, but he's not spent any time with us since. He's sat in the corner of the room watching Mama and not dancing. Papa always dances at the balls and he's very good at it. I don't think he likes all the young men around Mama. Even I am starting to get cross with them. Two of them almost stood on my tail and they all think I am a stupid pet! I want to bite the one that keeps moving me with his boot, but Mama got cross when I hissed at him. I decide to follow Papa when he leaves the ballroom hoping he'll pay attention to me instead but he's with another woman. I trail after them thinking I will bite her if she is anything like the smelly woman in Carthak but she leaves quickly. I try to get Papa's attention, but he's lost in thought again. It's a bad habit of his and it's very cold in the gardens. When I finally catch up to him, he takes me back to his rooms and reads to me by the fire. Papa always tells the best stories and I prefer being in his rooms when it's cold.

I wake when Mama takes me back to her room. She's angry with Papa and seems to think the lady he walked with in the gardens is here. I try to tell her she left, but Mama is too cross to listen to me. I wish we could sleep in Papa's rooms because they are much warmer than the stables, but we aren't allowed which I still don't understand. I wake suddenly at dawn when I feel the barrier between the realms fall. It is difficult to explain but it feels like I was living inside a bubble that has just popped and now my senses are alive with awareness. Mama feels it too and starts talking to Papa as if he's in the room with us.

I am in an artist's rooms and there are so many paints and colours to play with! Papa says I am not allowed to play with them, but I am not very cross with him because he has brought me here for the artist to paint my portrait. It's for a locket for Mama for her birthday. I like this idea especially when Papa leaves me alone with the artist. His name is Volney Rain. He isn't as strict and doesn't tell me off when I start to explore. The artist just follows me around with paper and chalk to sketch me. He even lets me stand beside him to watch him sketch! Volney Rain is very good, and I like all the pictures he sketches of me. The artist even lets me play with a brush and my own piece of paper! I spend most of the day with Volney Rain and he shows me all the paintings he's done including one of the king and queen. I decide to forgive him for forgetting to feed me when he escorts me to the evening meal.

We have been travelling a lot over the last few weeks. Papa doesn't like being out in the cold and neither do I! Mama used to live further north so she doesn't complain as much but she also has lots of animals to keep her warm at night. Cloud and Spots say it is cold underfoot but there is no difficult snow to ride through and Mama gives them extra blankets, so they don't get cold. The king has asked Mama and Papa to investigate all the Immortal sightings which keep turning out to be nothing. We are about to return to the castle when Mama finds flesh-eating unicorns. I stay with the horses to keep them safe while my parents go to fight. Spots says its so they can keep me safe, but I am the one who has magic!

Mama is sick! She got bitten by one of the unicorns and won't wake up. Papa is very worried and makes us ride out in the middle of the night to get back to the castle. Cloud isn't even angry when she has to carry my travel bag which makes me very scared. That's when it started to snow heavily. Normally I like snow because it's pretty and you can mould it like clay, but the horses are struggling to walk through it. Papa uses his magic to make us a shelter out of rock. I want to learn how to do this, but I know I don't have enough magic yet. I decide I will practice later to see if I can summon the ground to raise it up like that, even if it's just a bit. Papa asks the horses and me to look after Mama while he collects sticks. She is very hot. I help with the fire while Papa calls for help. It vexes me that I do not know how to heal. I have watched the healers and I know a few spells, but I am not strong enough to do any of them. I long for the day when I will be able to do more with my magic.

I am very frightened because Mama is screaming. She is in a lot of pain and Papa is afraid too. Mama doesn't scream when Papa holds her, but he keeps asking Cloud or me to lie with her. I think Mama is dying but we can only sit and wait for help. Alanna is on her way, but Papa doesn't like the waiting. I am terrified when Papa says he is leaving us. He is going to bring the Lioness to Mama because she is taking too long. I am now in charge of giving Mama water while Spots stands guard and Cloud lies with Mama. Papa takes some of Mama's hair before he turns into a hawk and flies away. I think the hair is so Papa can find us again. I remember him telling us about focus magic. Mama starts screaming again as soon as Papa leaves which hurts my ears. Spots keeps telling me Papa will bring help and Cloud tries to reassure me that Mama is strong, but I am too scared to listen. Mama won't drink the water and I don't know what to do!

Alanna is here! I felt very powerful magic and then the Lioness came into our shelter and started to heal Mama. I thought everything would be alright until I saw Papa. Now both my parents look like they're going to die, and I DON'T LIKE IT! I want to yell at Papa but I'm too scared. At least he drinks the water when I give it to him. Alanna yells at Papa though!

Mama is getting better but she needs medicine. We are travelling with the knights on our way back to Corus and the palace healers. Papa doesn't look like he will die but I know he used his lifeforce to bring Alanna. He is still scared for Mama like I am, so we stay together. Cloud says she will tell us if Mama gets worse. I found an illusion spell on Papa's left wrist while he slept. It was making my ears ring while I was curled up beside him. Papa has told me many times that I shouldn't break his spells, but I want to know what he's hiding. Very softly I croak at his wrist making the illusion shimmer without breaking it. I croak louder until I finally catch a glimpse of it. Papa is wearing a gold locket. Now I can't restrain my curiosity and use one of my whistles to open it. When the locket opens the illusion spell disappears. That would have been useful to know before, but I like how clever Papa is that he can link spells to actions. There is a picture of Mama inside. It looks like it was painted by the artist who painted me, and I remember Papa asking for one of Mama too. I thought he was putting it in Mama's locket... I wonder if Papa was doing the human thing called lying. I don't understand this behaviour, but I know Papa does it a lot. I use one of my whistles to close the locket and the illusion spell activates again. I'm not sure why Papa is hiding this, but I don't think I will tell anyone.

Mama is finally better. It took a very long time for her to heal but the medicine worked! Zek and I have been sleeping with Mama because Cloud is not allowed. Papa visits every day but now Mama is awake she has other young men visit her too. She's been doing that thing with her mouth with one of them again. Mama told me off when I hissed at the young man and tried to bite him, so I am sulking at the end of the bed with Zek. I thought Papa might tell him off when he came to visit but he just turned to leave. I don't understand this human thing, but I don't think Mama should be doing it. At least Mama told Papa to stay and sent the other young man away. We give Mama her locket and she is very happy. She especially likes the picture of me.

We are travelling north with Tkaa! I am so happy that he has joined our group because now I have someone to talk to. I know Papa tries and my parents are quite good at understanding my sounds but it's not the same as talking to someone. I ask Tkaa all the questions that I have been saving up including the one about Mama doing the strange thing with her mouth. He doesn't know what it is either, but he did admit he's been away from the mortal realms for a long time. Papa spends a lot of time with us trying to understand my sounds until we find the enemy.

Mama, Papa and Tkaa have been fighting for weeks. I help where I can with my magic but, mostly, I stay with the horses. The invaders are from Scanra and the Copper Isles with help from Carthaki rebels. Tkaa mostly deals with the Immortals with Papa's help while Mama and the animals stop the enemy soldiers from sleeping, soil their food and destroy their weapons.

I am tired! We have been constantly on the move for months. We attack then move on. Attack and move, attack and move. Tkaa says I am being grumpy, but I am exhausted and so is everyone else! Spots and Cloud are tired of the constant riding at all hours of the day and night. Mama and Papa are tired from using their magic constantly. I am very happy when the king requests my help to deal with an Immortal problem. Not Mama or Papa. Not Tkaa. Me! There are wyverns attacking Port Legann and I can send them away because I am a dragon. Now everyone else can sit around while I fight and protect my family.

Mama and Papa left after two days leaving me with Tkaa to fight the silly wyverns alone. While I am glad of the responsibility, I also wish they hadn't left me. I know I was excited to be of use and to help out but fighting them makes me very tired. I didn't tell my parents, but I liked having them around to help me fight, even if the king did shout at Papa for using his magic. Mama said he should have let her and the other archers deal with the wyverns.

Mama and Papa have been gone for a long time. They went to fight something called a skinner, but they never came back, and everyone looks worried. They keep giving me forced smiles and telling me they are sure they are fine, but I think they are lying. I sneak into the king's study and listen to his secret meetings. He thinks my parents died fighting those skinners. I don't want to believe him, so I go to the only person I know who won't lie to me. Cloud tells me that Mama has gone. She is not dead, but she cannot sense her any longer. I don't know whether I am more frightened by 'gone' than 'dead'. If my parents are dead, then I know what has happened but gone is a vague term. Are they coming back? Spots returns after a few days and says the same thing. He searched for Mama and Papa but couldn't find them. He also says that they have 'gone'. Tkaa tells me not to worry, that my parents are strong and powerful and will find a way to return to me. I want to believe him, but my real mother was a dragon, and she didn't return. She died fighting to protect me. What if my human parents don't return because they were fighting to protect me too?

I have been fighting against the stupid wyverns for a week. They keep coming back to attack us because they think I am too weak to fight them because I am young. I show them every time what I am capable of. Tkaa even turned one of them to stone when it flew too close to the castle walls. I hide in the stables with the horses when I am not needed to fight. I miss my parents and while the king is nice to me and treats me with respect, no one else does. They respect Tkaa because he knows human speech. Because I cannot talk, most of the humans are either scared of me or treat me like I'm stupid.

Mama's friend the badger god visits with a strange creature called a darking. He reassures me my parents are well, but they are trapped in the Divine Realms. Badger does not talk with me much. He mostly talks with the king which is when we discover there is another of these strange creatures in the castle with us. It has been spying on us for our enemy, but it agrees to join our side and stays with the king. While I am happy to know that my parents are alive, I wish the badger had told me more.

Cloud says Mama is back! I free Cloud from her stall, and we race to the castle walls. I am so excited to see Mama again, but I cannot contain my surprise when I see her riding on the back of another dragon. He is huge! His name is Diamondflame and tells me he is my Grandsire. I have a grandmother too, Wingstar, but she stayed with the queen to help with the fighting. I have more family! I scold Mama severely for leaving me alone but when she cuddles me close, I forgive her quickly. I have so many questions for my Grandsire about his home and others of my kind. He is very impressed at all the magic I can do! Apparently, I am more advanced than other dragons my age! In all my excitement I realise I have forgotten to ask about Papa. He is with the queen and my grandmother ready for the attack in two days. I show my Grandsire all the magic Papa and Tkaa have been teaching me. He is very proud! When the wyverns try to attack again my Grandsire scares them away for good. He is very impressed that I have fought them off for so long.

The fighting didn't last as long as I had expected. With two of my kind fighting with us as well as a flock of Stormwings we defeat the enemy easily. My Grandsire saw to the Copper Isles fleet and burned all their boats to ashes. I wish I could make flames as large as him, but I can only light small fires. Mama spied Ozorne and flew after him taking her two darking friends with her. I hate that I cannot fly. Grandsire says it will be many more centuries before my wings will be large enough to carry me. I do not like the sound of having to wait centuries before I can fly. Both my human parents can manage it!

Grandsire tells me that the gods have taken my Mama to the Divine Realms again. I beg him to take me to her and he and my grandmother fly me to Mama. The gods say Mama must choose between the Divine and the Mortal Realms. I scold Mithros for making up such a stupid rule. My kind travel between the realms so why can't my Mama! I cannot believe my ears when Mama thinks about staying in the Divine Realms. What about Papa? What about Cloud and Spots and Zek? Thankfully, Mama stops being silly and allows us to take her back home. She is barely on the ground for a few minutes, and she is riding off again! Clouds says they are going to find Papa. My grandparents are busy with the king and queen, so I find Tkaa and ask him to follow Mama. Onua is cross because it is not safe and has found Riders to come with us.

Papa is very sick, and everyone fears he will die. When we found him, he looked very tired and grey but then he collapsed and turned blue. Mama cries every time the healers make us leave the room. Onua sits with us while we wait for the healers to let us back in to see Papa. I wish more than anything that I knew how to heal. When I am older, and my magic is stronger I am going to learn how to heal. Neither of my parents can do it, well, Mama can heal animals, but they cannot heal each other. I asked Grandsire if he could heal my Papa, but he says he cannot, neither can grandmother. They don't remember the anatomy of a human. I will learn! I will be the first dragon that can heal any creature. Papa will teach me. He will get better and help me study until I am strong enough to do this.

Papa finally wakes after four days asleep! I am so overjoyed to see him and so is Mama. Then Mama starts doing that thing with her mouth on Papa. He doesn't look sad about it this time… Maybe he was sad before because he wanted Mama to do it with him. They do this for several minutes before I lose my patience and whistle a question. Neither of them answers and then they start doing it again! I make a much louder this time and then Papa starts spouting nonsense about wanting to court Mama. I'm not convinced the healers fixed all Papa's injuries. This is one of those very frustrating times when my parents can't understand me, so I hunt out Tkaa. He will translate for me! When we return to the room, I demand an explanation about what's been going on between my parents. Mama and Papa act like their loving each other is a new thing and that we haven't always been a family. Parents! I finally get my answer about the mouth thing. It's called kissing. It's something humans do to show affection. Now I am really confused why they haven't been doing this sooner. I understand now why Papa was so sad that Mama was doing it with all those other young men. At least they seem happy. Papa cuddles Mama and me on the bed and presses his mouth against our heads. It's so nice to have my family back together again.