Set between 3x10 "Brave New World" and 3x11 "Black Badge". Salex get stuck.
"Tired?" As Nikita collapsed on the bed and groaned, Michael asked. Eyes already closing, Nikita nodded. Michael joined her on the bed, his body hovering over hers. He leaned down to kiss her gently. She responded in kind, slipping her fingers in his hair to pull him closer. He chuckled into the kiss, "Not that tired, huh?"
"Not for you," Smirking, Nikita flipped Michael off her. He landed on his back, and she quickly straddled his lap. As she softly grinded her hips against his, he pulled her down for a passionate kiss. The engaged couple laughed into the kiss, their lips, teeth, and tongues clashing as their hands began to roam their bodies. A part of them wanted to keep things slow- build up their pleasure with softly rolling hips. But their kisses were so full of smiles and laughter, they had to keep increasing the joyous passion.
Until Nikita's cellphone rang.
Although she continued to kiss Michael, she lessened the intensity to reach for her phone. He tried to pull her focus back, tried to get her to ignore the phone, but it was too late. She answered the phone with a regrettable pull away from his lips and a sigh, "Hello?"
"Nikita, I'm so sorry for interrupting your time off with Michael. But… um… I… uh… I'm stuck," While Alex stumbled through her reason for calling, Nikita moved the phone's speaker away from her mouth and kissed Michael. She just couldn't stop herself. He certainly wasn't going to complain. Though, it would be better if she hung up the phone and focused completely on him.
"If you're stuck, call a step sibling. They'll help," Remembering she was on the phone with Alex, Nikita quipped. Then she went right back to kissing Michael.
"Okay, Birkhoff," Michael managed to make fun of Nikita as they continued to make out. She just laughed into their kiss.
There was some commotion on the other end of the line about not knowing what the two meant, but it went ignored. Alex sighed. She wasn't going to get Nikita's attention by being vague. She had to shock her with the truth. A part of her felt guilty for ruining the engaged couple's time off- that was the first time she had heard either of them laugh in months. But she really needed help. So, she blurted, "I'm stuck on top of Sean."
"Wait. What?" Pulling away from Michael, Nikita became completely captivated by what Alex had admitted. Even Michael was enthralled; he wanted to know why his fiancée was suddenly so confused. Nikita didn't have any answers, however, simply more questions, "How?"
"I don't know! I came really hard, and now Sean can't pull out!" Alex had started to screech. The true panic of the situation had caught up to her, and she couldn't stay calm. She needed a solution immediately. And she needed it from her best friend.
Nikita, however, was absolutely no help. Not only did she have no idea how to fix the situation, but she also couldn't take it seriously; it seemed too insane to be real. She rolled off Michael- much to his dismay- and said the best thing she could given the circumstance, "Well, I guess Sean has to finish the job like that."
"I'm not moving!" Sean shouted as much as Alex shrieked. Although it somewhat comforted Alex to know she wasn't the only one panicking, Nikita felt even more lost. She had absolutely no way to help the couple.
"I honestly have no clue what to do," Sitting up on the bed, Nikita glanced at Michael. He followed her upwards, but all he could do was shrug. He couldn't hear the other side of the phone call; he couldn't help her confusion.
"Can't you just steal us muscle relaxers?" Fed up with all the confusion and stuttering, Sean demanded an easy solution. Drugs should help the two relax and separate.
"I'm not stealing you drugs," Nikita instantly negated with a roll of her eyes. Michael's attention peaked at the mention of drugs, and he began to panic. Nikita calmed him with a hand on his thigh. She'd explain in a second. Sean and Alex had dissolved into an argument about drugs on the other end of the line. Nikita needed to get them to shut up, calm her fiancé, and figure out what she had to do to help the couple. She couldn't do any of those things gently or easily, "Shut up. Shut up. I'm gonna ask Michael what to do."
Pulling away her phone- where Sean and Alex could still be heard freaking out- from her ear, Nikita sighed. Michael looked at her bewildered. He had been annoyed about Alex's interruption, but he had quickly grown concerned- what was going on. Nikita wanted to tell him. She just struggled to wrap her mind around it as well. She had never heard of people getting stuck inside other people while having sex. That had to have been made up, like something from a movie, "Okay. I don't know how to really say this. But… uh… Sean and Alex were getting to know each other biblically, when she… uh… went all Octopussy on him."
"What?" Michael's confusion only grew. It didn't help that he could faintly hear Sean and Alex screeching over the phone. He took the cell out of his fiancée's hand, finally placed the call on speaker, and commanded, "Explain."
"We're stuck!" Just as exasperated, Sean shouted. Alex groaned in defeat.
"Stuck together?" Michael stared at Nikita for confirmation of his terrifying thought. She nodded. His mind blanked. There was no way that was actually possible. You couldn't actually get stuck having sex, could you, "How? I thought that was a myth."
"I guess you were myth-taken," Nikita couldn't help herself. She was instantly met with groans and eye rolls.
"Can you stop making jokes? This is serious," With support from Alex, Sean snapped. They had called for help, not quotes from the peanut gallery.
Before Nikita could make another quip, Michael moved the phone out of her reach. Yes, the call was on speaker. But maybe she'd shut up if he held onto the cell. Sean and Alex seriously needed their help. And the sooner the two helped the couple, the sooner they could go back to their own enjoyments. Though, Michael also had no idea how to help their friends, "Look, I don't know what to do either. I'm going to have to look it up, something you should've done before calling us."
"I could only reach my burner, which doesn't have access to the Internet," Alex explained. She wouldn't have told Nikita and Michael about the situation if it wasn't dire. She didn't need any extra embarrassment.
"I'm not moving," Sean reiterated to further the point. They would've looked things up on their own if they could. Nikita and Michael were definitely their last choice.
"We get it. No broken dicks or torn vaginas," Nikita just had to taunt. Although Alex and Sean continued to curse her name, she knew she had gone too far when Michael glanced up from his research with a glare. She sighed. Maybe she should try to be helpful, "Alex, I was serious when I told you to do kegels. They help with orgasms."
"I don't know what kegels are," Seriously regretting considering Nikita her best friend, Alex whined. How could she do something she didn't know. How did that make any sense.
Sighing, Sean tried to calm down. He and Alex were probably getting too worked up. If they tried to relax or listened to the information the others were telling them, things might be easier, "Kegels are exercises you do to help strengthen your pelvic floor."
"How do you know that?" Her boyfriend's calm helped her settle a little bit; however, Alex was still confused and overwhelmed. She wanted to be unstuck immediately, desperately, and frantically.
"I have two sisters, one of whom has kids. I know way too much- like the fact that Nikita's fucking with us by making it only sexual," Sean huffed. He had tried to stay calm, but with Alex so tense, he couldn't relax. They were just forever anxious and high strung. They'd never be unstuck.
"I'm helping," Grinning proudly, Nikita gave Michael a thumbs up. Despite his eye roll, he couldn't help but smile at her goofiness.
Sean and Alex, on the other hand, kept complaining. It was a valid response, especially considering their situation. Yet Michael was becoming tired of it. The couple needed to calm down. Seriously, it was their only solution. The main reason they were stuck was because their muscles were too tense and swollen to release. If they just took a second to relax, they'd be free, "Okay. The best way for you two to… unstick… is to relax. Your muscles are too tight. If you calm down, you should be fine."
"How can I calm down when I can't move and my supposed best friend keeps making fun of me?" Alex raised a great point. Stuck how they were, Sean and Alex weren't in a position to calm down. They were uncomfortable, they were confused, and they were scared of hurting one another. It'd take severe intervention to help them relax.
Rolling off the bed, Nikita sighed. She believed she had a real way to help. And after only making fun of the couple, she owed it to them to actually do something. She went to the bathroom and rummaged through the medicine cabinet. When she finally found what she was looking for, she called out so the phone would pick up her voice, "I have magnesium. It's a supplement that should help your muscles relax."
"Doesn't that make you shit?" Although he was grateful for the easy solution, Sean questioned Nikita's methods. He and Alex already had one huge problem on their hands, they didn't need another.
"You'll be fine. I give it to Michael when his back injury flares up, and he's usually fine afterwards," As she explained, Nikita rolled her eyes and pulled on clothes to go outside. She didn't want to leave her apartment or her fiancé, but there was no other choice.
"Fight with a Guardian," Before Sean and Alex could call him old for having a bad back, Michael explained his injury. He also pulled on clothes to follow Nikita out. He didn't want to leave her alone, even if she was about to walk in on the stuck couple. He wanted to be by her side at all times, through the good and the bad.
Aware of the awful sight they were about to walk in on, Nikita stopped herself and Michael from walking out the door just yet. They should warn Alex and Sean to cover up as best they could. It'd save them all from embarrassment and horror, "Alright. Michael and I are heading over with the magnesium. Cover up with a blanket as best you can. And maybe pull on shirts. You know, just Winnie the Pooh it."
"I already feel like Winnie the Pooh. You know, being too big and getting stuck in honey pots," It was Sean's turn to make a terrible joke. While he and Alex finally laughed at their horrid situation, Nikita and Michael stopped dead in their tracks and shared an annoyed look. They couldn't really say anything, though. After how they had been acting, the other couple deserved to be a little too much with their jokes. The fact that they were laughing instead of screeching was a good sign. They might just finally relax.
Michael and Nikita kept the line open as they left their apartment, just in case; they wanted to ensure everything remained alright as they hurried to Alex's apartment. It was a good thing they did. Before they made it all the way down the hall, they heard Alex exclaim through the speaker, "Hey! We're unstuck!"
Nikita and Michael stared at the phone in disbelief. That was it. All it took for Sean to finally pull out of Alex was to make a stupid joke that made them both laugh. Michael frustratedly took the phone from Nikita and returned to the apartment, "What'd I say? You just needed to relax."
"Well, it was hard when we also had to deal with you," Alex attempted to defend herself and her boyfriend. Being stuck together had been extremely stressful. The jokes and judgment from their friends- specifically Nikita- made it all worse. They were scared, confused, and angry; how were they supposed to be calm.
"Alex, how long did you wait before calling us?" Following her fiancé back inside, Nikita asked more gently. If Sean and Alex had been stuck for a long time, then maybe there was a bigger problem than just relaxing. Like, Alex could've had that thing where her vagina closed completely, or they were just doing something wrong. Either way, there could be a problem they had to address.
The silence Michael and Nikita received as they took off their coats and shoes and settled back into their bedroom said otherwise. There wasn't a medical problem. Sean and Alex were just quick to panic, "About thirty seconds after it happened."
With Alex's confession, Nikita and Michael flopped on their bed and groaned. Nikita grabbed the phone back from Michael and shouted into the speaker, "You owe me restitution!"
"But you didn't do anything!" Sean argued. All the engaged couple did was tell them to relax and crack jokes. That wasn't at all helpful. And it certainly didn't mean that they were owed anything.
"You called us over nothing. If you just waited for like thirty more seconds, you would've been fine. In fact, you made it worse by calling," Michael was quick to argue back. Alex and Sean really needed to do something about their anxiety. Freaking out as they did only worsened the problem. Of course there wasn't anything Michael and Nikita could've done to help. Only talking and a therapist could help the two's anxiety.
"You also shared way too much information," Nikita tacked onto Michael's argument. If anything, the couple should pay the two back for that. They didn't need to know Alex got stuck on top of Sean during sex because of an intense orgasm. No one needed to know that.
Although Sean wanted to keep arguing about Nikita's stupid quips, Alex stopped him. They did owe the engaged couple for ruining their time off. The two were supposed to be reconnecting and focusing on themselves, not problem solving for their friends. The two really were owed their restitution, even if they had been asses, "What do you guys want?"
"Dinner. Just us," Michael didn't hesitate to demand. He had planned to take Nikita out on a real and proper date soon, but he hadn't been able to plan or budget it yet. If Alex paid for dinner, though, that'd give him more freedom to treat Nikita to a date she deserved. After all she had done for him and all he had put her through, she deserved the most spectacular, amazing, fantastic, romantic date ever. Dinner was just the start.
"A fancy dinner with appetizers, drinks, and dessert," Excitedly, Nikita added. If she was going to get something out of that awkward night, it better be the best thing ever.
Alex was nodding before she actually answered the phone. Of course she'd help the engaged couple go on a date; she'd do anything to help them mend their relationship. However, her many didn't come free- especially after their stressful conversation. Michael and Nikita had to do something for Alex in return, "I'll pay for your dinner as long as you don't tell anyone about this. Ever."
"Deal," Nikita and Michael agreed instantly. Sean didn't even have to level an additional threat. No one would ever talk about Sean and Alex getting stuck during sex. They didn't need to revisit those horrific mental images.
Once that was all settled, the phone call finally ended. Nikita threw her burner cell away from herself and Michael. As it bounced loudly against the wall, the two burst into laughter. They honestly didn't know how else to react to everything. They just laughed and drifted closer to each other on the bed.
Soon, the engaged couple stopped giggling and simply looked at one another and smiled. Michael tenderly reached for Nikita, pulling her in for a gentle kiss. The affection was soon deepened as she pushed him on his back and straddled his lap once again. Holding his fiancée close to him, he chuckled into their slow passionate kiss, "Right where we started. Perfect."
"Just don't make me cum so hard I get stuck on top of you," Nikita couldn't help but mutter against her fiancé's lips. Whereas Michael rolled his eyes, she collapsed in more giggles.
"Don't ruin the mood," Flipping Nikita onto her back, Michael complained. She wanted to laugh, but he began to kiss and touch her in the most distracting ways. There were no more jokes after that. The two smiled and laughed and had fun, but there were no jokes and no more interruptions. Michael and Nikita took their pleasure seriously.
