A/N: The following is a parody and a fanfiction. I own only my characters and the plot. I also don't apologize for the following political jokes, but I will apologize if any other joke offends you.
The Warper News Network (the series)
Direct Line to the Director
October 2022
(Cues: Xzibit - Paparazzi (Instrumental))
The WNN logo would not appear as normal, instead came an emblem before the camera cleared out to see what appeared to an office. A computer, bookshelves, and a lone figure sat on the chair faced away from the camera before turning to revealing himself.
"It is I, Mirai. Typically, I'd have the news cast deal with this, but things have shifted for me to deal with this time. For this year has been cruel. Wars and loss. But I wanted to acknowledge the fall of a studio that brought every kid in the past and present much joy. Cartoon Networks Studios has as of this month but put down…and what was left dragged into Warner Brothers Studios."
Mirai got up and took up a photo.
"People blame Zaslav for this, but I do not. He is literally stuck between a rock and a wall of spikes. And I will not act that the later CN's presidents and their poor decision making skills are not to blame too. What a mess…it's all burning down around me. Things I enjoyed in my childhood have harvested, society around me is growing more narcs, and the increase in a bit of my anxiety. Ugh…"
He put the photo face down before using a device on his desk to project some images.
"In part due to college and life itself, that's why content production from my end of things has been slow. But there is progress being made. The Kenji series is being worked with several chapters being written with a few more in development. The goal is to have all the 'prologues' chapters finished before posting. The Outsider's Insurrection is almost complete with the next post for this story will be it's final one as the chapters wrapping the post-game arc along with preparations for a future sequel."
Mirai sighed knowing he would have answer questions that were heavily in demand.
"And to answer a few questions…in demand."
Is Sekirei Blackthorned getting that sequel series?
"No. I actually debated doing so and hinted it was possible back then. But not that I'm thinking it over…it doesn't really need a sequel as Ryder's story is pretty much complete."
What projects are in development but not posted up.
"Right now. Dragon Ball Z Blackthorned, R4S Unlimited, the Kenji Project, and Season 4 of Anime Confessions are in development, but had not been posted up at all. Life has just been making that slow. Out of all of them, R4SU is something I can take my sweet time on."
What about Maelstrom of Stardew?
"I haven't even started development for it yet, because I have to been swamped with school and my current projects. RWBYverse is Infinite and The Whirlpool Gangster have proven to be more popular than my other works (just like The Geist Within)…thus I gave them more attention. Maelstrom of Stardew had done well, but other things had eaten up my time that I could have given to starting it."
You've joined Ao3, what's coming on that end?
"Yes, we're now broadcasting through Ao3. While I don't think I'll have any Project Blackthorn works up there for a while. I think I will be posting the other works up there. I've decided that once I check over past chapters and ready the next update for TWG, it'll be going through Ao3 as well."
He turned off the screen before taking his seat. Warper energy flowed around him as he focused on the viewer.
"And covers everything for now. Not sure if I'll do this again whole sale. B̵̢̘͖̼͚̻̾̈́͗̄ȕ̶̢͇̒̋͝t̸͓̘̘̳̤̒̑͘͜ ̷̻͍̙̂n̷̯̈́͌̍ỏ̶̢̧͔͎͝w̷̡̙̹̟̭̰͆̈̈́̽͝,̸̼͇̙̪̄͘ ̴̤̲̲̥͕̳̃̄͒b̵̧͠ȧ̴͓̠̘̂͝c̸͍̻̯̗̟̠͌̊k̴̼͆ͅ ̵̯̻̻͛͆̾̈́̑̈́͜t̶̗̬͕̩͎͑͌͛̀̀o̴͚̣̲͌̒͊̇͝ ̵̗̦͆y̶̭̺̑̈̏́̃͊o̵͓̫͔̦̫̣͗̒͆ų̷̡̼͓̜͎̃͂̕͠r̴̠̪̗͓̬̀̓͠ ̵̪̽̾̓̈́̀̊r̸̡̙̠̈́̓̌̕e̶̡̦̺̝̒͒g̴̭͎̊ǘ̸̡͉̈́́̓̈́ļ̸̛̺̇̅̀̄̒ä̸̟̮̻̋̃̍̏͠ṙ̸̜l̶͙̘̝̭̝̋ͅy̷̳͙̆̽͐̚͠ ̶̲̭̥͆͗̈͑́͒s̸̡̳͗̉͗́̑c̷̼͉͗̊̏̋̋͝ͅḣ̶͈̯̰̮ẹ̶̺̽͜d̵̝͇͐̅͆̅̇̃ū̸̢͍̫̲̼̇͝l̴̥̬͓̲̱͂̉̂̀͗͝ë̸͉̝̣͖́͜d̴͕̖͙̝̽̋ ̴̡̛͆͂̊̚i̴̬̼̐̇̊̀̈́n̸̫͔̗̅̏̔͠s̶̺̔͑͆͘a̶͎̼͔̯͑́́̚ͅn̴̜͖̬͚͉̅͌̕i̵̪̅t̸̢̿̋̈́̌̚ͅy̸̲̫͚͊͘.̴̛̣̖͙̰̝̋̑̎̏ ̵̯̜͂̃̈́̅̕."
The camera suddenly glitched out and the image was back at on the WNN set with a very confused Beerus and Whis at the desk.
[Cues: Z-TV News Song]
"What just happened…" Beerus asked. "I thought we were…"
"Seems not." Whis said looking though the papers. "We got a busy newsday. Some more deaths."
"Ugh." Beerus groaned.
"Ukraine is still fighting off Russia. Russia won't take no for answer." Whis said as Beerus rolled his eyes.
"Their leader rides horses with his shirt off to show off he's still got it…but let's be real. As much as America and other countries want to help Ukraine, they got tangled with Putin's soul. A short-sided decision back then that's biting everyone in the ass now." Beerus remarked.
"Ironically, even Trump warned Germany of this…got laughed at for that years ago. Not so funny now." Whis said dryly. "All while Putin is concerned and threatening war. I guess those WW3 jokes aren't looking so funny anymore either."
"Do we even have any good news?" Beerus asked.
"The Pony fandom, the Harry Potter fandom, and a few other fandoms lost people." Whis remarked as Beerus simply poured himself another drink.
"Moving onto to…" Beerus said looking through the newsletters. "It's all shit. Warner Brothers is still on fire, somehow Amber Heard is able to go to Spain to live in luxury, the gaming industry is on fire, and...Rendo Nexus is still causing chaos across the multiverse. You know what…I'm done."
Beerus got up and left.
"What about the Vel-" Whis said only for Beerus to stop as he was off-camera.
"There's nothing to talk about. It's doing the same thing every other reboot is doing. When it bombs, they'll blame everyone but themselves. I'm tired just talking about it." Beerus said before leaving the room.
"What a month this is…" Whis said is disbelief. "I guess we're ending this broadcast a bit earlier. Stay safe this month…I fear we may have more tricks than treats."
(A/N: I had a rant on the Velma show planned among a few other things, but I held back. Why should I even bother rant on the show? It's just doing the same stuff every other 'modern' reboot is doing, and I just don't care to give it any anger…just apathy. I had wanted to make a Tate reference, but I decided against doing it because I realized Beerus' general apathy over all the crap going on…and just staying 'Screw it, I'm out' was funnier to me.)
