*** 15 ***
Nell went back the following days until that Sunday, which was her last holiday day. Blake, as the other days, approached her happy.
"Lilcotton," Nell told her. "I won't come tomorrow... I've got to go to work. I'd love to be here, but I really cannot." She looked around: there was no-one and the other penguins seemed distracted, or simply they didn't want to hear. "Have you thought about what I told you the other day?"
Blake didn't answer, as it could be expected.
"I'll need time, but one day I'll get it and we'll be together."
Blake was thoughtful and sad when she saw Nell leaving. She didn't know when she would see her again... if she saw her again. And she didn't know if she wanted to go with her. Of course, she didn't want to go back where she had already been... but in another place there might be anything waiting for her, not necessarily good. And, although she often wished she weren't there, she didn't want to leave Central Park Zoo. Those penguins, of course some more than others, had accepted her... and that was new for her. She had had some months to get used to the idea... and the truth was that she liked it. Living together wasn't perfect and she had lived very unpleasant moments, but little by little her wounds were healing. First they had been the physical ones, at a slower pace they were the psychological ones.
To stay or to leave... it didn't matter. The problem was her. She didn't stand being with herself. No matter where she was, she would be there. There would be her past, her memories, her doubts, her fears and not knowing who she really was because she'd always wonder what would have happened if she had defended herself against all the snubs, mockery, insults, lies... If she had been stronger, definitively. She was learning to be with her current teammates, but in the past she had been just a puppet and she had resigned herself to humiliation and injustice. She had swallowed many tears thinking that it was what corresponded to her in life, wondering why... and she hated herself for having been so weak. Now she understood... it was shameful not to defend herself, not to protest, not to try to change things. And she didn't want to be considered an overemotional crybaby, but she needed to free all that frustration with herself. It was going out as tears. She didn't care if the others saw her, she was fed up with hiding. She had disconnected totally from the exterior.
.
It had been a while since the penguins had entered the HQ and they were all committed to their things. Private noticed someone missing, climbed up the ladder and leaned out. The image, for him, was as amazing as tender.
At an end of the concrete island, back to him, Blake and Rico were sitting together. Rico's left flipper was enclosing Blake completely. Then he noticed that Blake had her head resting on Rico's neck and Rico had his on top of hers. Both were totally silent, staring at the front, oblivious to everything. Private climbed down the ladder smiling.
"What about that smile, soldier?" Skipper asked him.
"Nothing..." Private let out a giggle and covered his beak.
"I don't believe you. Will you tell me?"
"Well... you can see it yourself. Lean out, but don't say anything."
Skipper leaned out and saw them. Salmons in oil! His surprise was enormous, but he kept his beak closed. He stared at them for some seconds... they were motionless. He had known Rico all his life, but he would have never imagined him so. He went back to the HQ.
"You don't guess what I've just seen!" he announced for the rest making them all leave what they were doing.
"Skipper, no!" Private protested.
Too late. Manfredi was expectant next to the ladder and Johnson had pushed Kowalski out of the lab. It was unavoidable.
"Please, don't say anything!" Private begged.
Kowalski was the first to climb up, he saw the scene and said nothing. He climbed down and put his flipper on his beak signaling silence. Apart from that, he didn't care what he had seen. Next, Manfredi put his foot on the ladder and felt Private pulling his flipper.
"Please, don't tell them anything... I know you," he told him.
Manfredi climbed up, leaned out and was wide-eyed when he saw them. He climbed down laughing. Private looked daggers at him. Manfredi hissed.
"What?! I have told them nothing, they haven't heard me."
"You'd better," Private replied to him.
Johnson was about to climb up the ladder when he heard Manfredi again.
"Do you think they've already -"
"Manfredi!" Kowalski and Skipper shouted at him.
"See? This is what I meant!" Private protested. "You're a hopeless case."
"But they haven't heard me, that is what worried you... right?" Manfredi asked.
Private sighed. He gave up. He was childish, but Manfredi... Manfredi was immature!
Johnson ignored them all and climbed up the ladder. Thanks to the others' comments he imagined something. He leaned out and saw the same as the rest... How long would both have been there not moving? And not speaking? But he wasn't surprised as the others. He suspected it would finally happen. Now they all had seen it. He climbed down the ladder.
"I told you," he simply said, and grabbed Private's flipper. "You, come with me."
He pushed him inside the lab and closed the door.
.
Private was surprised by Johnson's reaction. He stared at him, expecting him to say what he was supposed to say. Johnson was looking for the adequate words. He didn't choose the best ones.
"That thing up there is unacceptable."
"Why?" Private asked innocently. "I find it very tender."
"No, it's not tender at all. It's an error." Johnson knew Private would misunderstand it, but he had to say it. "Rico and Blake can't be together."
"Why?" Private asked with his flippers crossed.
Well... he hadn't let out something related to jealousy, which was what Johnson feared. Better than nothing.
"Because Rico is dangerous."
"Dangerous?" Private was indignant with Johnson's comment.
"But... don't you see that... or what?" Johnson lost his patience fast. "Rico is insane! He can harm her seriously! Oh, please, he's an arsonist!"
"We know him very well and we know that he likes to destroy things, but he doesn't harm anyone. And less her. Have you seen how he treats her?" Private looked at Johnson, he knew he wasn't convincing him. "Okay, I was also a bit surprised... But... why do you worry about her? I thought you hated her."
"No," Johnson had to recognize. "I don't want anything bad for her. Yes... I'm still mad at what she did me! But I'm not a bastard, okay?"
"Well, calm down... nobody has said that."
"Just in case." Johnson's tone was hard.
"Really, you shouldn't worry. You have a wrong idea of how Rico is. I've known him for a longer time than you and I assure you that he's not a heartless or something similar. Not expressing his feelings doesn't mean he doesn't have them. You can ask Skipper or Kowalski, they will tell you the same."
Johnson just nodded. He already knew what they thought about Rico.
"Don't be so paranoid, Johnson... that's Skipper's job."
"I hope you're right," Johnson replied.
When they left the lab, Rico and Blake were in the HQ. Johnson noticed that Blake's eyes were red, but she was smiling. Definitively, there were things he didn't understand. And that got him weirded out.
.
When ligths switched off and the other penguins fell asleep, Blake was still awake. She didn't stop thinking about the possibility of having to leave. Could Nell really get her out of the zoo? She hadn't done it during her stay in Bronx Zoo. Although... did Nell know what Blake had suffered there? What would she have done if she had known?
Nell used to get her out of her habitat when she could because she liked to be with her. She carried her everywhere in the zoo while she was working and she took her to the office when she had to do something there. There she had put a basket with a blanket under the window, and Blake spent downtime sleeping or paying attention to all that happened around her.
There used to be that nice girl who was a friend of Nell. Her name was Alison. Very often there were her two children, and every time they went she complained about not having something called "conciliatory measures". Blake didn't know what that was, but she had understood that it was something very difficult to get and it frustrated her a lot. She complained especially when the children didn't obey her or interrupted her work, although when the youngest one started school things improved.
Blake missed her and her two children. The oldest, Elizabeth, was very respectful with her. Robert, the youngest, was a bit tiresome... but he behaved well with her. Both entertained her a lot. Blake used to see from her blanket what they did. Surrounded by notebooks and pencils, the two children tried to take advantage of the time they had to spend there. Elizabeth worried a lot about her brother and signaled in his primers the words he had to read. Blake, meanwhile, stared and listened with a lot of attention. Those doodles grabbed her attention because they were everywhere, so when the children weren't there she could practice too. And so she acquired that ability that made her stand out among the penguins: the children, unknowingly, had taught her how to read.
She also took a look from time to time at the screen where their mother didn't stop writing. Letters were much smaller there and she had to get very close, but she always saw them eventually. Alison thought that the penguin was charming and allowed her to approach, but not much for fear of harming her eyesight. She thought that she was attracted by the constant changes on the screen, those black lines going forward and back. She didn't imagine that Blake really was starting to understand all that was written there, that for her those figure sequences made sense too. The same happened with Nell, although she used the computer less. That ability was generalized among humans... at least, among the ones that Blake knew.
An idea! If she wrote a note for Nell, she could tell her what she thought about leaving that place. She knew that she couldn't understand what they said... but she'd understand what she wrote. She left her bunk and went blindly to the lab. She knew where Kowalski kept his notepads and pencils... she had already tried to write once. How long ago had she tried?
One by one, with slow but firm movements, she drew each one of those doodles on a sheet of paper. When she finished, she read it silently.
"nell from bronx zoo listen please
the penguin who lives in central park cannot and doesnt want to leave
dont force her to change her home and friends
you cannot break her heart so"
The message was understandable. Blake hadn't heard about spelling or punctuation, so for her it was okay. Now she'd have to make the letter arrive its destiny. She bent the sheet, wrote on the exterior side again "nell from bronx zoo" and went back to her bunk. She kept the letter under her pillow... the next day she would think about how to make it arrive its destiny. She had seen Skipper writing (well... writing... not exactly) things that he sent to his superiors. She couldn't ask him, she didn't want anybody to know what Nell had told her... but she would pay attention to the process when he did it again. Until then, the letter would be under her pillow.
She had faith in stopping Nell with that message. She wanted to stay there, she was sure. She had a reason for staying... someone who listened to her silences and spoke to her speechless. And, thinking about him, she fell asleep.
