CHAPTER TEN


"Christopher, she just ate, you're gonna make her puke," Cat said as her brother hung Shelby upside down, who was laughing hysterically.

"She loves it," Chris said.

"Please sit her up."

Chris sat the toddler up, kissing her cheek. "She's more fun than Zoey was as a baby."

"Hey!" Zoey said. "Take that back."

"Sorry, it's already in the universe."

"I'll MMA your ass."

"You're two pounds, you can't do anything."

"I'll call Uncle Goomer or Aunt Sam."

"No," Cat said. "Goomer's a professional and that's an unfair advantage. And Sam isn't allowed to use the butter sock anymore. Don't put any ideas in her head."

"It would be funny to see, though."

"It would, but then Sam would add to her record and that's not something she needs. Trust me. I used to live with her, I've seen enough of her crazy."

"She left a bruise last time," Chris said.

"You're lucky all you got was a bruise, she was going for a broken skull."

"Graphic," Zoey said, holding her head.

"Take your sister and go play somewhere, I wanna talk to Uncle."

"Kay kay," Zoey said as she took Shelby from Chris and making her way out of the room.

"Is everything okay?" Chris asked.

"Yeah. It's just been a while since we've really talked," Cat said.

"It has been. How are you?"

"Good. Um... I fired my manager."

"What? Why?"

"Bossy. Bitchy. Snarky. Controlling."

"Is that not her job?"

"No. Her job is making sure things go smoothly and finding projects for me. Not controlling and micromanaging my every move."

"Well... last time your nudes got leaked. Because you didn't have a manager."

"That has nothing to do with Terri. That was just me not being careful about who I sent them to."

"That guy was kind of creepy."

"Yeah, he was."

"At least your butt looked good?"

Cat stared at Chris for a few seconds. "No, we're not doing that, that's weird."

"Yeah, that felt wrong."


"Don't touch that!" Cat said quickly as Robbie reached out to the soundboard. "The light's flashing. Something hasn't been saved."

"Oh. Sorry," Robbie said, backing away from the board.

Cat sat in a rolly chair. "No one's scheduled to be here, I don't know who would have left a recording live like that," she said, clicking a few things on the computer before the flashing light went off. "There we go."

"So, this is where you and Andre do your magic."

Cat nodded. "Yep. We've spent thousands of hours in here."

"Do you enjoy it? I know it's your profession, but do you actually like it?"

"Yeah. It's what I've wanted to do since I was a kid. I love it."

"Does it make it easier working with one of your best friends?"

"A lot. Andre tells me what he thinks without bias. He tells me if something sounds bad. No one else does that. They always say it sounds good."

"So he's the male version of April."

"No. April's just mean about it. Andre's honest but respectful about it. That's what I like about it. He doesn't tell me what I want to hear, he tells me what I need to hear."

"Does it make it easier to make the albums?"

"Yeah. We record everything all the way through, then we listen to the whole thing and make notes about which songs need to be re-recorded. If something doesn't sound good, we make adjustments and record that section again until it sounds good. Then I go in and add the background vocals, fix anything that doesn't sound right, then I go in and add all the harmonies and adlibs. Then we listen to it and fix anything else that doesn't sound right. Then we do a final listen, a final mix, listen to it one more time to make sure everything sounds good. Basically, we re-record everything that doesn't sound perfect until it is perfect. Then we get it into the registers and we're done."

"That is... a lot of work."

"Yeah, but it's fun. It passes the time. There's been times we've spent a full 24 hours here and not realized it before."

"You get really into it, huh?"

"Yeah. It's my passion. I love what I do. I like the hustle and bustle. I like the events, the promotion, the interviews. I love it all. I just like entertainment. I always have."

"Do you like the fame part?"

Cat shrugged. "Most of it, yeah. I like that there's a good side to it. The bad side is you have almost no privacy, but the good part is people listen when a celebrity is talking about something important or raising awareness. During my tours, I've gotten so many people to register to vote, which brought the voting count up in hundreds of thousands. I've talked about Autism foundations, St. Jude, the cancer society, Planned Parenthood, education foundations, AIDS foundations, hospital foundations, animal shelter foundations, homeless foundations, AA support, narcotics anonymous support, suicide prevention support... So many people have donated to charities that I contribute to because I've talked about them. That's one of my favorite things. Being a celebrity isn't all bad. Annoying sometimes, but it's also rewarding."

"You are the most selfless person I know. How'd I get so lucky?" Robbie asked, kissing her head.

"I guess the stars just aligned just right."

"Oh, into astronomy now?"

"I love space."

"Nerd."


"Here's the mail," Zoey said, dropping a handful of envelopes in Cat's lap.

"Thank you," Cat said, shuffling through them. "Uh oh."

"What?"

"Something from the courthouse," she said, opening it.

"You got jury duty," Zoey said in a 'ha ha' tone.

"I'm exempt from jury duty," she said, reading the letter. "What in the actual fuck..."

"What happened?" Zoey asked as she sat next to her mother, leaning over to read the letter.

"I'm being fucking sued by Terri."

"Why?"

"I supposedly broke a contract."

"But you fired her."

"Yeah I know, I was there."

"Then how can she sue?"

"I don't know, but I know I didn't break any contracts," Cat said, grabbing her phone from the coffee table.

"Who you calling?"

"Your father" she said, calling Daniel.

"Why?"

"Because he's my lawyer."

"Hello?" Daniel asked.

"I'm in need of your assistance."

"What's up?"

"I'm being sued by my manager."

"I thought you fired her."

"I did. That's why I'm being sued."

"What does it say?"

"I don't know, I don't know all this lingo. Can you come over and read over it?"

"Yeah. I'll be there in 20 minutes."

"Thank you. Say bye to Dad," Cat said, holding the phone to Zoey's ear.

"Bye, Daddy," Zoey said.

"Bye, I'll see you soon," Daniel said before he hung up.

"Is he coming over?"

"Yeah, he's gonna go over this with me," Cat said, getting up from the couch. "Where's Shelby?"

"With Robbie. He's feeding her."

Cat walked to the kitchen, kissing Shelby's cheek as the baby stuffed a piece of sandwich in her mouth. "Is that yummy?"

Shelby signed 'eat' and Cat laughed before looking at Robbie.

"Daniel's coming over," Cat said. "I got sued by Terri so he's gonna go over it with me."

"Why did she do that?" Robbie asked.

"Says I broke our contract."

"Did you?"

"I don't think so, but that's why Daniel is coming over. He's gonna look over this and the contract to make sure I didn't."

"Okay. Want me to whip something up?"

"Nah, it's just Daniel, he'll just get into something if he gets hungry."

"Alright. I'm gonna go to my office and work on some new skits. Let me know if you need anything," he said, kissing her lips gently.

"I need to not be sued."


"Did your manager even go to school?" Daniel asked, staring at the letter from the courthouse.

"Why?"

"Because this letter says she's suing you for breaking contract because you fired her without any means. Clearly there was a reason, first of all - second of all, this contract clearly states that you have the right to terminate her employment without reason or explanation, which basically means she was employed at-will and there's no law stating you have to have a legitimate reason to fire her," Daniel said.

"I did that for a reason, cause I'm not sticking myself with someone I'm not comfortable around, I needed someway that I wouldn't legally have to stick with them if things got too bad."

"The contract says, and I quote, "Caterina Valentine's contract will provide employment for up to two years or until employment is terminated for any or no reason, which will automatically make this contract null and void, therefore no contract existing at the time of termination". That means the second you said 'you're fired', this contract was over. The judge will see that and you won't be charged with anything."

"Mommy!" Zoey said, popping up from behind the couch, making Cat scream.

"God damn it, Jade," Cat said between clenched teeth. "Don't do that! You know I faint if I get scared enough. What do you want?"

"Your manager's talking some major shit on The Slap," she said, showing her mother her phone.

Cat took the phone from her and scrolled through it, her jaw dropping. "This slandering cunt..."

"What's she saying?" Daniel asked.

"Caterina is the most difficult celebrity to work with," she said. "I was fired from being Caterina's manager because she didn't like that I suggested her ten-year-old find an appropriate place to be instead of backstage during an awards show, where she would have been in the way of other artists."

"I'm fourteen," Zoey said flatly.

"That's not the point, hush," Cat said. "Caterina canceled events that I set up without my knowledge. Caterina let her child walk all over her - bitch, who cares? She's my kid, mind your business."

"I don't walk all over you."

"She's talking about me not punishing you when your behavior goes through the roof."

"I can't help that, those are just meltdowns from overstimulation."

"I know that, that's why you don't get in trouble if you go off the wall. If it was something you could control, you'd be grounded for life."

"So not only is she slandering you, she's slandering Zoey," Daniel said.

"Pretty much, yeah."

"Well, that's not gonna fly. She'll lose this case. Zo, screen cap every single status she posts that pertains to you or your mother. We'll use it as evidence."

"Does that mean I'm 'lawyering up'?" Zoey asked.

"No, I'm lawyering up," Cat said. "You're just being sneaky and getting receipts."

"My favorite hobby."