"Beer... good?" Xander asked with his mouth hanging open as the mortified Slayer in front of him fidgeted like she wanted to be swallowed by the ground.

"Not one of my finest moments," Buffy muttered, hoping that she could erase the whole Cave-Buffy episode from her memory – and the memories of everyone else – forever.

"But you got to knock Parker out with a respectably large tree branch," Willow grinned.

"Parker?" Xander asked sharply.

"An unbelievable sleaze bag," Willow sniffed. "He has this sweet and sensitive routine which he uses to pick up girls. But in the end, he's only interested in a one-night stand."

"You didn't...?" Xander gaped.

Buffy grimaced. "It's like Freddie Mercury sings in that song. 'And bad mistakes I've made a few. I've had my share of sand kicked in my face but I've come through.'"

"And through you came, like a champion," Xander clapped his hands together. "So spill, Slayer. How's the ol' Hellmouth doing? Is it time for the Scooby gang... or roughly a third of it to ride again?"

"Xander..."

"Are there unspeakable forces waiting to smash the innocent...?"

"Xander!"

"What?" Xander blinked and narrowed his eyes as Buffy and Willow exchanged a glance.

"It's been the quietest Summer and early Autumn in ages," Willow explained. "Well... Buffy's original roommate turned out to be a soul-sucking demon..."

"Like I repeatedly told you, I might add," Buffy reminded her.

"... Who was hiding from her parents in this dimension...," Willow continued, unfazed.

"Aha!" Xander's interest perked immediately.

"But her father found her and quite forcibly took her with him."

"So..."

"And just before that a gang of vampires stole all her belongings..."

"Let me guess..."

"Done and dusted," Buffy chirped happily. "But enough about Buffy and her Mystical Menagerie of Mistakes. How was your trip, Xander? Is America nice? I hear it's nice."

Earlier in the evening Buffy and Willow had come to the Bronze to listen to a band called Shy and then totally unexpectedly bumped into Xander who had returned to Sunnydale just the day before. After a round of emotional hugs and "through fires" they had commandeered their old booth from a group of high schoolers.

It had taken them a while to really get the usual, easy-going conversation going. At first, they had just looked at each other in silence, trying to see if there was something new, something changed in them. To Buffy it had initially looked as if Xander was just his ol' goofy self but, on occasion, she glimpsed a hint of quiet contemplativeness that hadn't been there before. Something had definitely happened to him during his road trip.

Their conversation had started with some tentative and easy topics until Willow segued into a babbly start-of-college monologue, after which it had really been like old days. They had speculated good-naturedly about the ongoing absence of Faith and Rowan, the way Willow had hacked the University's housing assignment database to get herself transferred as Buffy's new roommate after the previous one had been forcefully made to vacate the premises, the girls' course selection for the first semester and so on, until Willow had accidentally mentioned Buffy's 10,000 BC episode.

"You're never going to believe this," Xander started with a wide grin on his face. "After a month or so of mindless driving I ended up in Cleveland. The first night there I went to this cemetery..."


Willow stood outside the Bronze waiting for her friends to emerge from the club when she heard a hesitant, "Willow?" from behind her. Turning around in slight alarm, she immediately relaxed as she recognised the person clad in red pants and a jacket with a pink top underneath.

"Harmony! Hi!" Willow greeted her ex-school mate brightly. "I haven't seen you since..."

"Since graduation," the blonde nodded with a wide smile on her face. "Big snake, huh?"

"Yeah," Willow nodded. "So, how was your summer vacation? Did you travel a lot? I bet you travelled a lot, on the account of not seeing you since..."

"See, you were always so funny, Willow," Harmony interrupted her. Her smile stayed in place but to Willow it seemed forced. She was starting to feel slightly nervous. "Always talking a mile a minute. You haven't changed a bit."

"No, you neither," Willow replied, trying to keep her voice enthusiastic. She took a discreet step back. Harmony followed her with a step of her own.

"Oh, maybe a little," Harmony shrugged and vamped out. Willow had enough time to only open her mouth in shock before needle-sharp incisors sank into her neck.

Willow screamed in pain as almost as soon as Harmony had sucked the first mouthful of blood from her neck, the vampire was forcefully pulled away from her with Harmony's teeth tearing into the soft flesh of her throat, ripping it. She sank to her knees, holding her hands against her injured neck. To her relief the flow of blood was less than she had feared, so it appeared that her jugular wasn't torn fully open. In a shock she almost giggled when she realised that the injury was in the same spot the exploding monitor half-a-year earlier had wounded her.

Looking up she saw Xander towering above her with a wooden cross in a steady hand, keeping the growling Harmony at bay.

"Back off, Harmony," Xander warned the vampire. He had recognised the former Cordette immediately, remembering her having been bitten during the Graduation Day Massacre. Even though he leaped into action immediately, he had been too slow to prevent her from attacking Willow.

"Ok. Fine. Hide behind your boyfriend," Harmony snarled at the cross pointed at her face.

"I'm not her boyfriend," Xander responded evenly. "Just a friend who would do anything for her."

While Harmony was still trying to find a suitable retort, another voice interrupted her thinking process.

"Oh, don't mind me, Harmony," Buffy drawled from the doorway to the club with a stake in her hand. "I'm sure your snappy come-back is juuuust about to make an appearance."

"Slayer!" Harmony huffed, not the least bit worried. She was strong now and her new boyfriend would not tolerate her getting hurt. "I'm not afraid of you, Buffy."

"No, I suppose you're not," Buffy continued conversationally, detaching herself from the doorframe. "That would require imagination. Imagination implies intelligence. Intelligence implies one having a brain. And that, Harmony, is where you fall short."

"Huh?" Harmony blinked dumbly. She was still doing it when something heavy hit her in the chest.


Buffy's mouth fell open as she saw Willow stand determinedly up, snatch a stake from under Xander's belt and let it fly at Harmony. The sharp wood hit the vampire square in the chest much faster than a normal throw would have been able to do. Then she, like everyone else present, froze in shock.

Harmony looked from the stick of wood embedded in her chest to Willow in disbelief and then back. She let out a wail and started waving her hands around, trying to slap the stake loose. "Oh, ewww. Gross. And my shirt... you ruined my shirt!"

Finally, and mostly by accident, she managed to dislocate the all-but-loose stake which fell with a clatter to the asphalt. With that she turned around and started running. "Wait until I tell my boyfriend about this!" she shouted over her shoulder. "Soon as we find the Gem of Amara, you're gonna be so sorry."


After they had hastily bandaged Willow's still-bleeding neck with Xander's torn t-shirt, he spoke aloud the thought each of them had swirling in their brain.

"Ok, what the hell just happened?"

"I think the Summer's finally over," Buffy muttered quietly. A vivid flash of the Mayor driving her stake into his own chest flashed through her mind. First Wilkins and now Harmony. What was wrong with bad guys these days? "Can you walk, Will?" she asked her best friend in concern.

"I... I think so," the redhead nodded. Her legs were still wobbly, mostly from shock and adrenaline. The blood loss had been negligible.

"Let's head back to the dorm and patch you for real," Buffy suggested, steadying the Witch.

With Willow between her two friends, the trio started slowly walking in the direction of the UC Sunnydale campus. Both Buffy and Xander had one arm around the occasionally stumbling girl who kept the partly-soaked bandage pressed tightly against the wound in her neck.

"How did you manage to hit Harmony with such precision?" Buffy asked Willow curiously as they were half-way to their destination. The Witch's aim had been notoriously bad in the past.

"She just made me so mad, so the stake kinda shot out of my hand... like the pencils, but only bigger." Willow answered. "'Hide behind your boyfriend... My boyfriend's bigger and stronger than yours...' My boyfriend...," Her words became progressively quieter as the heat from her anger slowly dissipated until the last few words were almost inaudible. Quiet sobs started to shake her body but then two warm bodies embraced her soothingly.

"She always lied about stuff like that," Willow shook her head with a deep sigh after having spent a few moments composing herself. "'He goes to another school. You wouldn't know him.'"

"A guy dating Harmony dead," Buffy marvelled. "Must be, like... the most tolerant guy in the world."

That got a grin out of Willow, lifting her spirits. When they reached Stevenson Hall, she was already able to walk unassisted.


"The Gem of Amara, did you say? Are you quite sure?" Giles asked in amusement with the receiver held between his ear and shoulder. In his hand he held a fencing sword which he was wiping clean with a towel.

"Yeah. What's up?" Buffy frowned, shrugging her shoulders at Willow and Xander who were listening in on the call, sitting on the redhead's bed.

"Oh, it's just... it's not real," Giles chuckled and crouched down in front of a pile of books. "It's like the vampire equivalent of the Holy Grail. A source of some enormous power, always conveniently vague."

"Well, Harmony just inconveniently shrugged off a not-so-vague stake in her chest. That was quite real."

"I'm afraid you'll have to give me more details than that," Giles prompted the Slayer while browsing through the book he had pulled out of the pile. "Oh, here it is."

"Willow shot a stake at Harmony using magic. It hit her dead centre and she just slapped it off."

"Slapped? As in accidentally brushing it off?"

"I guess...," Buffy frowned, sounding suddenly somewhat unsure.

"Maybe the stake just bounced off her sternum or a piece of jewellery she kept hidden from view," Giles suggested. "Here, listen to this. 'There was a great deal of vampiric interest in locating the Gem during...' Oh, the 10th century. 'Questing vampires combed the earth, but no one found it. It was concluded that it never existed.'"

"Well, Harmony seems to think it exists. She said she and her boyfriend are looking for it in Sunnydale."

"Yes, well, I'll research it as best as I can," Giles assured Buffy, but the Slayer could hear the slightly condescending tone in his voice.

"Ok bye, Giles," Buffy ended the call. "Well, he seems to think you missed," Buffy grimaced apologetically at the frowning Witch.

"I didn't miss!" Willow protested vehemently. "It just... popped out by itself. It would have fallen out on its own if Harmony hadn't accidentally hit it while waving around like a rabid stork."

"Yeah, and this 'boyfriend' of his," Buffy grinned at the image. "Maybe he lost a bet or something. What a loser."


"Hi baby, I'm back," Harmony cooed from the ladders to the underground crypt with just her head through the hole in the floor. "How's by little blondie-bear's search going?" she continued in the same adoring voice.

Sitting on the lid of a sarcophagus, Spike ground his teeth together at the grating voice. His bandaged hand was still throbbing like hell from the repeated exposure to the jewelled cross. The fucking pendant should have been it – there were no other pieces with a green gemstone left. The brooch, the bracelet, the belt, the pendant... all useless.

"Splendidly, Harm," Spike deadpanned. "I found the Gem – and instead of partying, I'm having a moment of quiet reflection to really appreciate how all my efforts have led me to this moment."

"Oh, that's so nice," Harmony fluttered her eyebrows. "Can I see it?" she asked and climbed all the way to the crypt.

"No, you daft bint!" Spike roared, standing up – still in considerable pain. "On the account I haven't bloody well found it yet!"

"No need to bite my head off," Harmony huffed in indignation but still embraced Spike from behind, laying her head against his shoulder. "Will you kill Willow for me?" she whispered in his ear. "Pretty please?"

Spike shook himself loose from Harmony's embrace and turned around to face her. He took her hands into his, squeezing them tightly and actually welcoming the pain.

"Harm, nobody knows I'm here. I'm not going to kill the Slayer's best friend now, as that would tend to raise unwanted suspicions. I'm too bloody close to locating the Gem to jeopardise that."

"But you have tried to kill her before," Harmony demanded. "Why is it suddenly such a big deal? Besides, she was mean to me earlier, her and Buffy."

"Hang on," Spike blinked. "Did you say the Slayer was mean to you?"

"Yes!" Harmony beamed. "Will you kill her too?"

"Let me get this straight," Spike stated in a dangerously emotionless voice. "You went out, flapped your useless tongue at the Slayer and her friend, and came straight back here. Did I miss anything?"

"She ruined my shirt," Harmony supplied helpfully, trying unsuccessfully to free her hands from Spike's iron grip. "So, I told them my boyfriend would make them sorry."

"And did you by any chance tell them who your 'boyfriend' was?" Spike asked, still deceptively calmly.

"No," Harmony shook her head. "You're hurting me."

"Are you quite sure that the word 'Spike' or any derivative thereof didn't accidentally pass your lips at any time during the conversation?"

"No, I told you that already," she answered immediately, starting to panic a little. "Hey, is your hand still hurting?" she tried to change the subject. "Let me make you feel better, so you'll forget it's hurting."

Acting basically on instinct, Spike let go of Harmony's hands and snapped a leg out of an overturned table. Without so much as a flinch, he thrust it against her chest and hit the flat end with his fist like a piledriver. The sharp point penetrated her chest briefly and then just... bounced off. The small wound it had made closed immediately.

He stood totally still in disbelief as Harmony pounced on him after she had recovered from the shock. "I can't believe you just did that! First the Witch and now you! What's wrong with you people?" she screeched, slapping and hitting him in the head and torso. With unblinking eyes, he just held his ground until he saw a flash of gold in one of her fingers.

"Hold on," he mused quietly and grabbed her wrist. There was a golden ring with a green, uncut gem on one of her fingers. "Where did you get this?" he asked hollowly.

"I found it on the floor by the hole before I left," Harmony answered honestly, struggling to free her hand. "What's the big deal?"

Using his teeth to quickly unwrap the bandage from around his hand, he used it to pick up the jewelled cross and then shove it against Harmony's head. Nothing happened.

"What are you doing, you big freak?" Harmony screamed as cold metal was suddenly pressed against her brow.

"That's my Gem," Spike announced in triumph and started forcing Harmony's fisted hand open.

"Don't...," she pleaded as Spike's actions were threatening to break bones. "Fine! Fine!" she shouted and managed to pull her hand out of his grip. She pulled the ring off her finger and threw it at Spike, who caught it deftly from the air. "If that's all that matters to you, then just take it. Take it and get out!"

"That's a good idea," Spike nodded matter-of-factly, pursing his lips together. He slid the elusive ring in the ring finger of his left hand. "I think I'll go play outside."


Sitting on a bench outside Stevenson Hall the next day, Buffy sighed contently. She closed her eyes and let the warm midday sun caress her face. The thought of a free period and lunch with Xander made her feel serene, like everything was just fine in the world. She barely noticed when someone sat down on the bench a little away from her.

"Isn't it a fantastic day?" a clipped male voice mused, making her blood suddenly run cold. "Birds singing, sun beamin' down in a nice, non-fatal way. It's very exciting."

She had just time to open her eyes and turn her head before an incoming gold and green freight train threw her off the bench. The last thing she heard before falling into darkness was, "By the by, that one was for Harm. Next time I won't let you off so easily. Be seein' you, Slayer."


Eyes snapping wide open, Buffy awoke with a gasp. It felt like her cheek was on fire.

"Buffy?" an urgent voice spoke close to her ear.

She coughed feebly, grimacing at the pain.

"Sp...!" she started before another fit of coughing made her stop.

"Buffy?" the voice questioned again.

She blinked her eyes a couple of times and turned her head towards the voice. "Spike?"

"Spike?" Xander asked in bafflement, looking around. "It's broad daylight, Buffy."

"I know," Buffy winced and brought a hand to her bruised cheek. It was already swelling, but it didn't feel like any bones had been cracked – a small mercy that. "I don't get it," she frowned and winced again. "I was sitting here at peace with the world and then he was just sitting beside me, speaking about sun beaming. Then it was lights out for Buffy." She barely realised she was practically babbling.

"Ok, Slayer," Xander announced in a no-nonsense voice. "Let's get you to Giles'. Seems you've hit your head pretty bad when you fell."

"He was here, he hit me!" Buffy protested as Xander helped her to her feet.

"Of course, Buffy," Xander agreed soothingly. "Now, off we go."

Buffy continued to protest feebly as Xander steadied her and started leading her away from the campus.