Chuck woke to sunlight streaming in through the slats in his window blinds. He laid still for a few moments, enjoying the quiet comfort of his bed, then rolled over and reached out his arm. All that greeted him however, was the empty side of the bed. Chuck felt a pang. Even after months of sleeping alone, he still instinctively reached for Sarah.

He still remembered the first night after she left. He'd gotten almost no sleep, the bed had felt so empty, so foreign. When he woke the morning after, for a few wild moments he thought it had only been a dream, but the absence of Sarah sleeping peacefully next to him had brought him back to harsh reality, and with it a wave of grief so powerful that he thought he would drown in it. It had taken weeks before he was able to start sleeping normally again, but every morning still brought that reflex to hold Sarah in his arms, and pain that Chuck doubted would ever really go away.

After spending a few minutes wallowing over how much he missed Sarah, Chuck suddenly recalled the events of the night before, and then jolted out of bed when remembered the fact that Jill Roberts was currently asleep on his couch. He dressed quickly, going over in his mind what had led to this awkward situation.

Jill had shown up at the Buy More after hours while he was there alone. After his initial shock wore off, he had asked her what in the world she was doing there. She had told him she would explain, but not at the Buy More. She said she didn't feel safe and asked if she could spend the night at his place, where she would explain in the morning.

Why in the world did I agree to let her stay here? Chuck wondered as he finished dressing. For all I know she's the one who sent those messages and is after me. I might have just invited an assassin into my house! Am I really that messed up in the head? Probably.

After taking a few moments to look at his treasured photo of Sarah, he put his wallet and keys in his jeans pockets, figuring he'd rather have them on him if he needed to run for it, rather than needing to go back to his room to get them. This brought another round of anxiety about having Jill in the house.

Chuck walked to his bedroom door and paused for a moment before opening it, taking a deep breath to help calm his nerves. He opened the door slowly and peered out into the living room. Jill was not on the couch. Chuck had to fight the urge to somersault across the floor and prepare for an attack. He stepped into the hallway, and walked towards the kitchen like it was any other morning. To his surprise and relief, Jill was in the kitchen, currently rummaging through the refrigerator. When she heard his footsteps, she stood up and closed the fridge door. She turned to look at him and Chuck was surprised by the look on her face. She looked every bit as nervous as he felt.

"Hi Chuck" she said, the nervousness in her voice matching the look on her face.

"Jill, before we say anything else, can you at least promise me you're not an assassin here to kill me?"

Chuck had intended the comment to lighten the mood and put Jill at ease, but instead she looked even MORE nervous.

"Wait" he said, hesitation in his voice. "ARE you here to kill me?"

To his immense relief, Jill smiled.

"Chuck if I was here to kill you I would've done it last night."

"Which begs the question, why ARE you here?"

Jill's smile disappeared.

"Getting right to it huh?"

"Well considering the fact you've betrayed me in the past, worked for enemies of the very country we live in, and tried to kill Sarah, I'd say I have pretty good reason to not waste time figuring out why you're here. Frankly even bringing you here could've been a huge mistake."

"Chuck, if you'll recall, I ended up coming through for you in the end, and turned my back on people who could have very easily had me killed for betraying them. I'm guessing that's why you said yes to letting me come here. I think you knew, deep down, I wasn't here to hurt you. I COULDN'T hurt you. Not again."

Chuck had to admit Jill was right. Her appearance was shocking, and she definitely had a history of betrayal, but she HAD proven that she would rather live in isolation rather than betray him again. His gut had told him it was safe to bring her to his place. So far she hadn't given him reason to doubt that.

"Okay Jill, you make a good point" he told her. "Which brings me back to my question. The last time I saw you I thought it would be the last time. You were headed to isolation. Where did you go, and what the heck brought you back?"

"Chuck, I don't want to tell you where I went. I don't want to hide anything from you but I'd prefer to keep that secret so I can go back if I need to."

"An escape hatch? That's comforting"

"Don't joke Chuck, I'm not kidding. I'm still guilty of the crimes I committed when I worked for FULCRUM. If the wrong person spots me I'd get arrested and spend the rest of my life in some government holding cell. I'd prefer to avoid that. I'm actually half surprised Casey and Sarah haven't busted down your door and hauled me off already. I figure you must've come up with something to keep them away. Or are they YOUR escape hatch?"

"It's a long story Jill, and not one I want to relive ever again. Let's just say Casey works for me now and Sarah... well, Sarah is living her own life...somewhere."

"I actually thought you two would end up together. I saw the way she used to look at you. I saw how you looked at her too."

As Chuck ran his left hand through his hair, trying not to think about Sarah, Jill finally spotted the wedding ring on his finger.

"Chuck, are you married?"

"Sort of. Yeah." Chuck replied.

"Where's your wife? Does she know I'm here? Is she okay with me being here? Do I know her?"

"It's Sarah, and to answer the rest of your questions I'd have to get into the long story. But she's not here. Let's just leave it at that."

Jill nodded.

"I won't push you Chuck, but I know you enough to know whatever is going on with Sarah, it must be pretty bad. I'm sorry about whatever it is, and if you ever do want to talk about it with me, I have two sympathetic ears ready to listen."

"Thanks. I also notice you still haven't answered my question. But you do seem determined to avoid it."

"I do? It must be because I'm so distracted by all the changes in your life. How long have you had this place to yourself? I noticed Ellie is gone."

"Jill" Chuck replied sternly, not falling for the distraction. "Tell me why you're here, or I'm going to ask you to leave."

"Okay" Jill said with a sigh. "It's a bit of a long story."

"That's okay, I've got the time. I'll make us some breakfast while you talk."

"Okay, here goes. So after you let me leave I managed to make a life for myself living under the radar. As far as I knew I had dropped off of everyone's grid. Life was interesting since I had to avoid any chance of my name popping up on some kind of government surveillance sweep. I mostly stayed away from anything electronic. No credit cards or bank accounts, no email, only using burner cell phones if I needed to make calls, stuff like that. It was quite a change from my days at Stanford and FULCRUM. It took awhile to get used to."

"But you didn't get caught so it must have worked" Chuck noted while melting butter in a pan and getting the eggs out of the fridge.

"That's what I thought. The more I got settled into my new lifestyle, the more comfortable I got with what I could manage to do safely. I started using the computers at the local library to keep up with the rest of the world, though I deliberately avoided any searches that would connect in any way to anything related to FULCRUM or you or anything else I thought might catch someone's eye. I managed to stay hidden for about a year and began to really get comfortable. Then one day I return home from an errand to find an unmarked tan envelope waiting in front of my door. I open it up, and there's a picture of me that labels me as a FULCRUM agent, and some weird circular object that I later discovered was a-"

"Ring phone" Chuck finished for her, pouring the raw scrambled eggs into the pan.

"I didn't know that's what it was called, but yes. A few days after I got it, it rang or whatever it does, and after taking a minute to figure out how to get it to work, I answered. It was some guy, said he worked for an organization called The Ring, and that FULCRUM was working for them before it was dismantled. He said he knew who I was and that I was now going to work for them, or else they would turn me in. He said he would contact me again when they needed my services. The irony is that he never actually contacted me again. The Ring was taken out before they ever decided to use me. But I didn't know that. I lived inconstant fear of that phone ringing for almost two years."

"That brings up an interesting question Jill. If they never contacted you again, how did you know The Ring was taken out?" As he asked, Chuck removed the finished scrambled eggs from the pan and put them on two plates, then brought them to the table and sat across from Jill.

"Thanks for the eggs" she said. "I haven't eaten anything in almost 24 hours. Anyway the answer to your question is the reason I'm here. This parts gonna freak you out. I know it freaked me out. That phone rang again a few days ago. I thought it was The Ring. It wasn't. I don't know if it was a man or a woman, they used something to disguise their voice. Anyway, whoever it was introduced themselves as the Overseer."

Chuck nearly choked on his eggs.

"I'm sorry, did you say Overseer?"

"Yeah. Anyway this Overseer person told me he knew my identity, and that I knew the identity of the human Intersect. I told them I did but that I had no idea where Bryce Larkin was. They laughed...or at least I think it was laughter. Whatever they used to disguise their voice made it hard to tell for sure. They said Bryce Larkin was not only not the Intersect, but that he was dead. They demanded I reveal the Intersect's true identity. I told them I was sure it was Larkin and that was all I knew. They said I had 48 hours to reveal the Intersect's identity or they would have me eliminated, along with anyone I cared about, and they said they knew EVERYONE I cared about. The Overseer never mentioned you by name Chuck but they mentioned Burbank and Stanford as places they would be eliminating targets first. I didn't know what to do. I denied knowing anyone at either place but they hung up. I panicked. I destroyed the phone and made my way here, though I took a bit of an indirect route in case someone was tracking me. I knew I wasn't being directly followed because I intentionally drove through a few isolated areas and had no cars anywhere behind me for pretty long stretches. So unless there are invisible cars I'm fairly certain this Overseer person doesn't know I'm here. I camped out near the Buy More waiting for an opportunity to talk to you alone, and last night I finally got the opening. I was so relieved to see you alive Chuck. I was afraid I'd get here too late to warn you. I'm glad I made it in time."

Chuck leaned back in his seat, taking it all in.

"So this Overseer person hasn't been able to contact you since you destroyed the Ring phone? You're sure there wasn't some subtle message sent some way that you might not have picked up on at first? Absolutely certain?"

"I'm positive Chuck. But unless you can help me figure out who the Intersect is, it may only be a matter of time before an assassin shows up on your doorstep."

"That's why my assassin joke failed to make you smile" Chuck replied, realizing how Jill had heard it, now that he knew what she knew.

"Exactly" she responded. "I was hoping you and your government agent friends might be able to help identify the Intersect, or at least get whoever this Overseer is off my back, and I was hoping you could keep my being here a secret while doing it. I also didn't realize so much around here has changed. Do you think you can help"

"I'll see what I can do" Chuck replied.


Sarah had just put the last of her clothes in the last of her suitcases when Carina came in her room.

"You're packed already?" Carina asked. "We still have a day before we leave."

"I know" Sarah replied, smiling. "But I promised you a conversation and this way I don't have any packing left hanging over my head, so you can get my full attention."

"Very considerate of you."

"Well I knew you wouldn't want to put it off much longer, and you've been patient enough so it's... about... damn... time..." Sarah spoke the last few words very slowly and trailed off when she finished. She went quiet, lost in thought.

"Sarah?" Carina's voice jarred Sarah back into the room. In her mind she had been somewhere else, and Beckman was there. So was someone else, but she wasn't sure who.

"Sorry Carina, I'm not sure what just happened."

"You spaced out on me. If this is your attempt to get out of talking, it's not gonna work on me."

Sarah looked at Carina, who had sat down on the bed next to her, wondering if whatever had just happened had upset her, but Carina was smiling. Sarah grinned back.

"Well it was worth a shot" she joked.

Carina put a hand on Sarah's shoulder.

"Sarah, in all seriousness, we're going back to Burbank. Are you going to be okay?"

"Are you asking because of my weird lapses in concentration, or is this about..."

"Chuck" Carina confirmed. "You can't tell me you haven't thought about him since we got the news."

Sarah looked down at her hands, avoiding Carina's piercing look.

"Yes, I've thought about him since we got the news. I've also thought about him before that."

Carina nodded understandingly.

"Do you regret leaving him? It's one of the things you've never talked about with me."

"That's why we're talking now" Sarah replied. She sighed before continuing. "I don't regret it, but that doesn't mean I'm happy about it, or don't have any feelings about it. I knew if I wanted to convince Beckman and everyone else that I could return to the field, I had to put Chuck out of my mind as much as possible. I knew when I made the decision that it would hurt him. In fact I spent a little time by myself coming to terms with the whole thing before I told him. I mean the guy has five years of memories with me that I don't have. He had a life planned."

Sarah's voice caught a little as she made the last comment and she had to take a moment to compose herself before continuing.

"I also can't deny the fact that when I was on that beach with him, I wanted to remember. I could see the love in his eyes. When he told me his best friend had suggested a kiss would bring back my memory, I knew I wanted to try it. I think I knew deep down he'd be able to come up with some kind of plan and that's why I didn't make my final decision until I'd let him try. I hoped he would find a way."

"But it didn't work" Carina commented softly, the hand that had been on Sarah's shoulder was now a comforting one rubbing the middle of her back gently, a silent sign of support from her best friend.

"No and when it didn't..." Sarah hesitated before continuing "Something inside of me broke. I felt like whatever connection I could have had to Chuck had been severed and when that happened I just lost it."

"You yelled at him?" Carina asked, surprised.

"No, I definitely did not yell at him" Sarah replied, shaking her head firmly to make her point. "When I say I lost it I meant... I cried. Carina I can't remember ever crying like that before. It felt like I had just lost everything. I don't know what it was about Chuck. What is IS about Chuck" she corrected herself. "I look at him and all I know about him are what I've been told. The lies from Quinn, and the truth from Chuck. I feel drawn to him. But it's all just words to me. Without having the memories of him for myself I knew I couldn't give Chuck what he deserves. It tore me up inside. I couldn't help but cry. The way he looked at me Carina, it's exactly how I used to dream someone would look at me. I've seduced men in the field, I've had boyfriends, but they all looked at me differently. I could see them staring at my body, at my physical attributes. It didn't bother me, in fact I usually felt kind of flattered, but I knew if I ever settled down I'd want something more. Whenever Chuck looked at me, it was like he was in love with every last bit of me, even the darker parts. It was like he loved me even despite my faults, not just in spite of them."

"Which is why it tore you up to leave?" Carina's gentle tone and sympathetic expression broke down Sarah's last defenses, and she opened up completely.

"It KILLED me to leave!" she nearly yelled, and now her words poured out like a waterfall. "Chuck seemed like everything I'd ever wanted, but he was in love with a Sarah who wasn't me! The experiences he shared with her, the feelings, the connection, the whole damn marriage itself was with her! I could see it in his eyes. She's his world, and what they had was so special, so extraordinary, that there could never ever be a substitute for her!"

"What are you talking about? You ARE her! YOU are Sarah Walker!"

"NO I'M NOT!" Sarah yelled at the top of her lungs.

She suddenly realized just how loud she was being and took a few deep breaths to calm herself. She realized she was trembling slightly. Carina just sat patiently, waiting for her to be ready to continue. After a few moments, she felt she had her emotions under control again.

"I'm not the same person as the Sarah Walker Chuck married. Those memories and those experiences they shared shaped who she was, and who they were as a couple. Chuck might have genuinely wanted me to stay, but that's because he saw the Sarah he knew. He has those memories. If I'd stayed, I know what would have happened. He would have tried his best, but no matter what we would have kept bumping into the wall of everything he remembers and I don't. Maybe he would make a joke that I wouldn't understand, or tell me something intimate, maybe he would be telling someone an old story about us, but I wouldn't know what he was talking about. He'd expect me to know and I'd stare back blankly, and every time that happened he'd be painfully reminded that I'd lost all of that and I would feel awkward at best or at worst completely broken-hearted that I didn't know what he was talking about. It would eventually drive a wedge between us that we wouldn't be able to fix. I couldn't do that to him. He may not have seen it, he might still not see it. Maybe he doesn't want to. I had to be the bad guy and leave. It was better for both of us. He'd get a clean slate and a chance to eventually find someone new, and I could return to the only world I still knew, where I could still fit in, find myself, and do some good. I knew it would hurt him to hear all this. It hurt me to say it. I hated every last second of having to break the news to him that I was leaving. But I managed it by remembering the bigger picture: eventually we would both adjust and just be a somewhat happy somewhat bittersweet memory to each other. Once enough time had passed and we were both in a better place, I'd send the divorce papers to him and that would be it. It made sense. He'd no longer be connected to me, and therefore not in danger, and we'd both be free to live our lives however we saw fit. At least that was the plan."

"And now you're going to have to see him again, and you probably never planned on having to do that. Are you sure you can do this?"

Sarah's expression went from soft to stony and she stared at Carina, determination in her eyes.

"I have no doubt I can do it. When we get there I'm going to be professional. It might even come across as cold at times, but you and I will know better. We have a mission to complete and that's exactly what we're going to do. Everything I just told you stays between us."

"What if Chuck tries to reconnect with you? How are you going to handle it?"

"I'm not. I'm going there as a CIA spy. Hopefully he'll understand. We are going there for the mission, not for him. I don't want to hurt him, but if it comes down to it, the mission is the priority. You and I both know how deadly it can be to let emotions get in the way." Her expression softened. "If we are successful with whatever it is Beckman needs us to do, maybe I'll talk to him after, try to explain, and hope he understands. It's the best I can do."

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry you have to go through this. I know you care about him, and frankly its pretty obvious you have feelings for him, you wouldn't go to this much trouble if you didn't, so I know how hard this is going to be for you. For both of you. If you need anything, just ask. You know I've got your back."

"Regardless of my feelings, this is for the best." Sarah said, then laughed a little.

"Something funny?"

"It's just I used almost those exact words when I told Chuck I was leaving. This is for the best. He didn't buy it so I'm sure he probably will try to convince me of that. But like I said the mission is the priority. Besides, we know how to handle tricky relationships in the field. You had to fake an engagement once and pulled it off so well he truly thought you were committed to him, so you're no stranger to this kind of thing either."

"What did you just say?" Carina asked, her eyes suddenly going wide.

"Carina, what's wrong, you're as white as a sheet."

"Sarah, you just mentioned my cover as Karl Stromberg."

"Yeah, so?"

"Sarah, that happened AFTER you started working as Chuck's handler. As in less than three years ago. It's also not something that was in the files the CIA gave you to bring you up to speed when you came back to work."

"I didn't need to read about it Carina, I remember the party." Sarah looked at Carina with an amused expression on her face, until the weight of what Carina had just told her sank in, and her jaw dropped.

"What else do you remember?" Carina asked earnestly.

"I remember needing to take out a guard, and I used my lipstick as a distraction to...oh my God the lipstick!"

"The lipstick you mentioned back at that hacker warehouse!" Carina exclaimed, realization dawning on her. "Do you remember Chuck being there?"

Sarah frowned, thinking.

"No, I don't. He was there?"

"Yes he was, and Sarah, I'm beginning to think these aren't random hallucinations you're seeing when you space out. I think they're memories."


A/N: Next stop: Burbank!