Arthur had made no promises to get better acquainted with Lady Clarissa. Nor had he'd agreed to do so in the form of this very public dance. On one hand, it wouldn't be a very good look to have a first dance with someone other than Merlin. Arthur hadn't been planning any dancing actually, not wanting to get closer to Merlin than he had to. He would have to wrap his arms around the boy's waist, before he'd drag him close in the mockery of a romantic dance between newly weds. Every curve that their bodies had would have to be close and personal with the others. And how did Arthur know if the boy even knew how to dance at all? Arthur would be left lugging the boy and his weight around, wincing as his toes were being trodden all over. Or heaven's forbid the boy try to take up the more 'masculine' role and lead Arthur around the dance floor. And with Merlin being taller than him, it would be left to Arthur to rest his head on the chest of the boy if they really wanted to play up the whole 'loving couple'. It wouldn't have been a very believable scene if they were stiff to the other's touch.

But no. Arthur hadn't wanted to intertwine his fingers with Merlin's own, to feel his touch as he felt put on display for the entirety of upper society. Nor had he wanted to feel Merlin and his slim body pressed against his own, or feel it when their cheeks-skin left tingling-as they had brushed against the other. So he had just decided there would be no dancing for him or for Merlin. It was better this way, rather or not Merlin desired a dance.

But on the other hand, it was also quite rude to deny a Lady her first dance of the evening. If Arthur wasn't married, he would have taken her out onto the dance floor without another question, to get things started. It was one of those unspoken rules among royalty, the kind that wasn't really an actual rule but one was expected to know and follow it as if it were. A prince was expected to dance with eligible young ladies in attendance, if only to show he was keeping his options open.

To make it look as if he was keeping an eye out for the future Lady Pendragon, for when the time came for him to take that step.

Things were a lot different now though, since he was married. It wouldn't look to be nearly as rude if he declined. It may even give him a good look because it would show his people that he was loyal and dedicated towards his husband. That a pretty face wasn't enough to turn his eye. Nobody would be looked upon favorably if they were seen as an adulterer, or as unfaithful even in an innocent sense like a simple dance. On one hand, not a soul would question the truth of his marriage if he gave her a no. But to deny her, he would then have to ask Merlin to dance. He'd offend her and her uncle otherwise if he declined her generous invitation only to spend the night hold up in this corner. Which actually was quite dank and dark he noticed, now that she had said something. Why on earth would his consort choose to hang out over here of all places?

Arthur made his decision, "Sure, m'lady, that would be great." He tilted his head down with politeness and gentlemanly grace as he held out a hand for her to take.

Clarissa let out this schoolgirl like giggle, she flushed like a maiden being invited to her first soirée. Before she delicately placed her hand into Arthur's, so delicately that it felt as if he wasn't holding anything at all. Arthur almost frowned at that before he remembered what his delicate position was in all of these court politics and smoothed it back. He wouldn't want his father to be embarrassed if the Lord Beckett came knocking down their door and demand to know why his niece was so upset at the offense. But still...it was like holding a glass china doll or something of the like, any kind of thing that was fragile and could crack and break at the simplest touch. Arthur was almost afraid to hold her hand with any real kind of force for fear of bruising her.

He didn't like it. But he didn't mention a word of it either, especially when he could feel the weight and judgmental eyes of his consort as he watched them.

Arthur spared a glance over the Ladies head-she was shorter than him at least-to try and judge Merlin's reaction. The boy was staring at them, but there wasn't any emotion on his face that Arthur could see. He didn't know if Merlin was disgusted, or angry. Not even if he was about to have some kind of fit about all of this. He was-to Arthur's surprise-had the face of living marble. Stony. His eye's blank, as if he was seeing straight through Arthur instead of actually watching the scene fold out in front of him.

It was disconcerting.

"...This is alright with you, of course, Merlin." Arthur asked hesitantly. He really shouldn't dance with Clarissa without first asking his consort if he was alright with it. Without his permission, Arthur may as well be publicly denying Merlin. The favor incident had been bad enough, but at least nobody knew it had been another's. It was one thing to switch a favor, it was quite another to bring an actual person into the mix. Those were somehow so much harder to hide then a piece of cloth. He was so not going through another incident like the favor, he had learned from his past mistakes.

...Still, he comforted himself with knowing he had only asked Merlin to be polite. Because it was right to do so for propriety, and to make sure that he wasn't breaking any clause the contract had about cheating for fear of losing the kingdom. And not because he had found himself quite desperately-and suddenly-this want to know what Merlin was thinking. This blank expression Merlin word was distressing to say the least.

"Of course."

Merlin smiled, but it was disconcerting. It was all thin lipped, showing absolutely no teeth at all. And his eye's were still disturbingly blank, like two black holes that would swallow him whole if he got to close. Maybe Arthur was playing with fire, but he found himself with a sudden craving to poke at him, just to see the kind of spark it would unleash.

"Perfect!" Clarissa said brightly, and she had the nerve to barely spare Merlin a glance as she said, "I knew that I liked you from the start. You're such a good sport, trusting your husband like this."

Arthur winced at this, because it couldn't be his imagination. Merlin's face-as black as it was-seemed to darken. As if there was this storm cloud brimming just below the surface of his eyes. It almost could have made one feel as if they'd be struck by lightning through the sheer strength of will alone in his eyes.

"Oh," Merlin said, tone gentled and kind even as the storm brewing in his eyes betrayed the emotions he felt. "I'm not worried at all. I have to have something worth worrying about." He looked Arthur dead in the eye at this, making it clear who he was talking about.

Arthur's jaw clenched, because Merlin should not be bringing their marital problems into a simple situation. It was just going to be one dance and nothing more. It kinda made him feel as if Merlin was testing him, and he'd fail it completely if he went with Lady Clarissa. It didn't negate to Arthur that it was just a one dance. He couldn't sit in this corner talking to Merlin all night, he 'needed' to get out there and mingle amongst his people.

"Yes, I'm sure there's nothing to worry about at all." Lady Clarissa agreed, but she had this smile that seemed a bit more fixated than it'd been seconds before. A little more forced as her impression of Merlin cemented itself into place.

"Come, Lady Beckett." Arthur said quickly if only because he feared what else Merlin may say in the presence of a lady. "I do believe a new song will be starting soon." He had no idea rather or not the musicians were about to start the next song or not, but this entire awkward situation made him desperate to flee. Even if he had to flee with the Lady.

"Of course, my prince." Lady Beckett said as she lifted up one end of her dress into a deep curtsy, before she placed her hand gently on his own so that he could lead her out on the dance floor where other couples have started to gather.

"Just be careful," Merlin called out to them as they started to walk away, not moving an inch from his spot next to the table. "You wouldn't want to lose her as well."

Arthur winced, his back to Merlin as he felt this suddenly sharp pang of guilt shooting through his chest. He knew that this was one last dig from Merlin, a remark made about the favor-neckerchief-that he had lost. It made the prince feel as if he had epically screwed up in some way by accepting the lady and her invitation.

"Lose me?" Lady Clarissa asked frowning, as she glanced over her shoulder with a ladylike grace that Merlin-of course-didn't possess in the least. "What on earth is he talking about, my prince?" Looking up at him for any sort of answers on the bizarre phrasing.

"Nothing, nothing." Arthur said quickly as he tried to save face. "He didn't mean anything by it at all." But Merlin had meant something about it. Arthur didn't realize it yet, but Merlin hadn't been making some kind of dig about the lost of his neckerchief. He was talking just a bit more literal: if Arthur wasn't careful with what he did, then he would end up losing his consort-completely and irrevocably-and it'd matter not how many apologies Arthur would shower him with once the guilt would start to become to much. The damage would already be done.

But Arthur didn't know any of this yet. He did not yet realize the hurt and pain he was now causing a boy who had risked everything-his secret and his life-just to save a spoiled arse of a prince. It would only be later, when it may be far to late to change things, would Arthur start to wonder if he had made any decisions with Merlin's feelings in mind. Or if every one of the choices he'd made had just been for Arthur. And Arthur alone.

For now though, Arthur placed his hands at a respectable level on Lady Clarissa's waist, as he allowed them to sway back and forth with the harpist playing in the background. Lady Clarissa placed her hands on his shoulders as she kept a distance between their bodies that was just a tad to small to be considered quite respectable between a married man and an eligible young lady of the court.

Arthur glanced over Lady Beckett's shoulder one last time to catch sight of Merlin-who still watched them from his dark cornered space of the room-before he turned away. He had been ridiculous when he demanded Merlin to come straight to him if somebody bothered him again. He was sure that Merlin would, he had with Valiant after all. But the truth of the matter was that Merlin didn't need him-now with Valiant out of the picture-things could go back to normal. As if Arthur's intense rage and subsequently killing of a man had never happened in the first place.

He could dance with Lady Clarissa while he kept a corner of his eye on Merlin, and allow his worries and concerns to leave him for just this short moment. He especially liked that the Lady was-while tall-considerably shorter than himself. He didn't have to look up to her while they conversed, and if they pushed the boundaries of propriety, she would be able to lay her head comfortably on his shoulder.

Unlike Merlin.

If it had been Merlin Arthur was dancing with, it would have been Arthur who would have to lay his head on Merlin's shoulder if they were to dance more comfortably.

Lady Clarissa drew Arthur's attention away from Merlin by flashing him a perfect smile as her hand clenched around his own. Her skirts flared out behind her as Arthur very carefully moved the lady gracefully around the room to continue their dance.

But one traitorous thought in the back of his mind stayed with him no matter how much he tried to push Merlin out of it: their talk before they had been interrupted was still fresh in mind. Things hadn't seemed so bad between them for the first time. And Arthur felt as if he was starting to question himself...was Merlin really as bad as he first considered?

X

Off to the side, Uther was stone faced as he harshly set his drink down onto the tray of a servant who'd been passing. He did so with so much force that the servant had nearly fell with his tray full of half-drunk goblets he had been transporting to the kitchens for washing up.

Uther paid it no attention, as he glared darkly at his son dancing along the floor with a Lady that was most decidedly 'not' his husband. It was clear that Arthur was playing with fire, as he was making things way to easy for Merlin to prove infidelity. Especially with so many of the people to act as witnesses to this event.

Now, Uther didn't care if his son decided to have 'encounters' with any of the beautiful young ladies that flocked among the court. But the least his son could do was keep the 'encounters' in private.

The only saving grace they had was the boy's utter cluelessness. If Merlin ever found out he could have the kingdom, he could do so in a heartbeat by just bringing up this dance. He may look innocent-his son was doing himself some good by keeping the distance between himself and the Lady-but Uther feared that it may not be enough.

If Merlin started to get curious, became a bit to unhappy with his husband and started to dig around for ways to get out-it'd be nothing for him to dig through the archives and find a copy of the contract put in Geoffrey's records in the library. The original was under lock and key inside of Uther's private office where it'd hopefully never see the light of day again for as long as he lived. But original or not, inside of the contract held the clause in small print at the bottom.

If his son truly made Merlin so unhappy that he went looking for escape routes, then how long would it be before the boy found out of the clause? How long would it take for Merlin to take their home away from them, casting them out of their own kingdom with nothing but the clothes on their back...no. Uther said to himself in a dark tone. He would not allow his home to be overtaken from the inside out by a peasant boy. He would need to have the copy of the contract destroyed, maybe have it looked as if a fire burned down the area it'd been kept in.

If only so Merlin would never realize he had this escape route available to him. Not even the copy of the contract being sealed away in the vaults of the library was enough for Uther to feel safe with it's continued existence.

X

Merlin should have seen it coming right from the start, but he was ashamed to admit that he hadn't. In retrospect, he should have been expecting it. Had Arthur not switched around his favor when Merlin presented him with the only one he had? Had Arthur not denied him and his truth when he had spoke out about Valiant. Not even an apology-not combined by Arthur's betrayal now-was enough to quell the pain he'd been going through.

He should have known he had never stood a single chance. Not with Lady Clarissa around to 'steal the show' so to speak. Not when he had figured out it was Lady Clarissa who had the nerve to give Arthur-'his' married man-a favor when he already had one.

Oh, yes. Merlin knew exactly who the Lady was now, and why her sheer purple sleeves had seemed so familiar. The sleeves looked almost the same as the favor Arthur had wore after he'd ditched Merlin's somewhere. And it made him even more pissed to watch Arthur as he held the Lady close, smiling down to her when he rarely-if he ever had-smiled in Merlin's direction.

He'd suspected the girl who owned the favor would be beautiful. A Lady that befitted what a prince should have on his arm. The perfect woman who would be able to talk to all of the important dignitaries-lords and ladies-whilst having no fear of embarrassing herself or her new family. Somebody who was able to smile with confidence even as she snagged onto a man's husband with her grimy fingers. The kind of lady that could go out there now and dance around the floor with no shame even if she was being whispered about.

Someone who would be believed the second they pointed out someone had been uncouth by her standards. Someone who wouldn't be questioned when they pointed fingers at one of the 'noble knights' for abusing magic and using it to hurt others. Someone who...others would look up to as if she had hung the stars and the moon in the sky, as if the sun itself would rise just because it wanted to greet her pretty face.

"I thought he was married now," Merlin was able to hear the whispers from a small group of noble women whispering to each other as they hid their faces behind their decorative fans. "Wasn't there like a huge celebration a few weeks ago? To a man..."

Her companion giggled, "That's no man for sure. It looks like Prince Arthur is no stranger to a man's needs. Whoever this 'Consort' is, he is quite obviously not doing a good job at keeping his own man interested."

Merlin felt the harsh string of humiliation as it burned through him, and he couldn't control himself any longer. The cold expression he'd adapted to protect himself started to break down, and his eye's started to mist as an ache formed in his chest.

Ever since the day they had met, Arthur had been telling Merlin that he wasn't gay. That the two of them were never going to work out ever. That they had no future, not only had he been told that by Arthur's words, but also by his actions as well. Every action Arthur made seemed to scream how he felt about his new consort, and every action he made had been-purposely or not-intended to hurt Merlin in some way. To make the consort see with his own eyes that nothing would become of them.

But maybe Merlin hadn't really been listening, or had been ignoring all of the signs in favor of his own desires. He wasn't some little kid anymore, where the perceived 'good guys' were the ones that got everything they would want to have by the end of the story. Maybe it was time for him to grow up, because for the first time since he had entered Camelot, he'd really understood what Arthur meant when he said he wasn't gay.

It meant that Merlin had never had a chance right from the beginning. He had just been making a fool out of himself with every attempt he had made to get closer to Arthur, to help him, to make their marriage work. He could see the way Arthur held gently onto the ladies waist, leading her through the steps as she fell into place in a way he never would.

Arthur would never hold him like that. Arthur wouldn't hold him like that because he wasn't gay, he had no interest in putting his anything on another boy, yet alone wrapping his arms around him as they danced with the lightest of melodies playing in the background.

Merlin had all of this power brimming at just his fingertips, but even he was able to see it wouldn't help him. It wasn't like he could use it-wouldn't want to use magic to force what wasn't there naturally-to turn a straight guy gay. But did it have to hurt so much-burn into his soul like a fiery hellfire-to know they had been doomed from the start.

Okay then, Merlin decided then and there as he struggled in vain to blink back the burning of his tears. He had gotten the message the prince was trying to tell him loud and clear.

He wouldn't bother Arthur any longer.

Merlin saw the two noblewomen who'd been gossiping were now looking at him. The two girl's were giggling and pointing at him, trying poorly to hide their amused faces-smirks that seemed a little to cruel-behind their beautiful fans. The beauty masking the hidden cruelty that Merlin could see clearly.

"I think that's him." One of the girls whispered loudly. Or maybe it wasn't a whisper at all he decided, when he saw her pointing a gloved finger straight at him, doing nothing to hide her rudeness. These girls were the type that if they wrecked him with their amusement. All they cared about was the latest gossip.

Even though it was just the two girls, Merlin could have sworn that everybody was now watching him. And he turned, speed walking as fast as he could towards the exit, with his head ducked low to hide his watery eyes and humiliated face.

"Merlin!" Gwen called out to him, racing up behind him just as he was reaching the front doors. And from her face, it was obvious that she had seen what Arthur had done, had also noticed the prince in the middle of the dance floor along with everyone else. "Please...are you alright?" She reached out to put a gentle hand on his shoulder, but withdrew when he flinched at the briefest hint of her touch.

Merlin sniffed, trying to blink back his tears as he mourned his entire future practically going up in smoke around him. But all it did was make the burn of tears rush, and they grew more heady in the corners of his eyes, "Yeah, Gwen, I'm fine. You go on and enjoy the party. I just need some air, it's gotten to be quite...stuffy in here."

He made his excuses, reasons for why he'd had no choice but to leave at this exact time, where he wouldn't have to see his completely straight husband dancing with somebody he actually wanted to. Nor would he be forced to listen as nobles spread their stories over how horrible a husband he was that he'd managed to lose his husband so soon after they'd had married. But he didn't think Gwen believed him, would have to be deaf to not hear Merlin or his choked up voice.

It looked as if Morris-for whatever reason he had-would get his wish. Merlin really would run from the hall in tears.

The Consort, in his rush to get out of the room before anymore damage was inflicted on his self-esteem, nearly ran over a servant who was just entering. The same servant who would go to the corner Merlin had vacated to look for the consort, the innocent goblet full of rich wine that the prince had ordered set on top of a shining silver serving tray.

Gwen was left standing in the doorway, and she watched Merlin all but flee the hall. The serving girl whipped her head around to look wide-eyed at Morgana who had taken a place somewhere behind her. It was clear that she was trying to ask her mistress what they were going to do now.

Morgana's dark eyes flashed in anger, unable to get the sight of Merlin's miserable face out of mind. "You wait right here, Gwen." the lady hissed with so much anger that it almost felt as if she could be spitting venom. "I think he and I need to have a little...talk."

Gwen was left behind as Morgana stormed out onto the dance floor. The Lady cared not for propriety, nor did she care that it would be considered improper for a Lady of her social standing to walk without having any escort to properly walk her.

Morgana grabbed onto Arthur's arm as soon as she reached him, nearly bristling in rage as the other lady yelped in surprise when they'd been separated-interrupted, "I need to have a moment with Arthur." Morgana snarled, at the Lady as she looked down her nose at the girl.

Cheap, was Morgana's deductions. Morgana was no stranger to daring dresses, but she'd always worn those that could be considered on the more classy side of daring. The other lady looked to slutty to be considered classy, although that may be more Morgana's anger talking than anything else.

"We are dancing!" Clarissa exclaimed as she put her hands on her hips, face reddening at the interruption. She would have thought the Lady Morgana would have more manners to know she shouldn't involve herself where she wasn't wanted nor needed. Clarissa stuck her nose in the air, acting as if she was better than the Lady Morgana would ever be, "You can't just-" as if her opinion mattered in any possible way to the king's ward.

"I can and I will!" Morgana practically snarled in her voice, making Clarissa's jaw drop at the sheer audacity Morgana had to speak to her that way. She was a Lady! Nobody had ever spoken to her in that way! But Morgana was also a Lady, one even higher than her-as the ward of a king would always trump the niece of a military official-so what could Clarissa do other than stand there and watch as Morgana dragged her Arthur away.

"Morgana," Arthur said with a confused brow lifted but with this teasing grin on his face to alleviate his confusion, "I didn't know you'd want to dance with me, how long have you felt this way about me?"

But Morgana wasn't in a joking mode. They had just reached another corner of the room that was opposite from the one Merlin had previously set himself up in. She whipped around, her eyes wild as she snapped, "Shut up." the lady held up her hand to cut Arthur off when he'd opened his mouth to demand answers for her sudden rudeness. "What do you think you're doing!"

"What are you talking about?" Arthur asked as his joking expression dropped in an instant when he saw the mood Morgana was in. "Like you didn't notice that you interrupted my nice dance with Lady Clarissa." Arthur truly didn't know what had Morgana so riled up, or even why she looked ready to spit fire at him. But he did know that she had behaved rudely to the other Lady, and it was Arthur that would have to be the one to apologize on her behalf as he doubted Morgana would do it herself at all. That enough set Arthur into his own bad mood, he'd had enough apologizing for one evening to last a lifetime.

"Oh, I'm sure that she was 'very' nice to you." Morgana sneered, making it very clear what she was thinking of his new Lady friend. Even shooting a glare in the direction Clarissa had stormed off in after Morgana had dragged him off.

"Morgana!" Arthur exclaimed, and his mouth dropped open in honest shock, as he stared at her as if he didn't know her. "What do you think you're doing? If father heard you talking about another Lady of the court that way-"

"Then go ahead and tell him!" Morgana was snapping at him, her hair whipping all around her, looking almost like Medusa. Her icy glare could definitely turn somebody to stone. "But I don't think you'll have to. I'm sure even he's noticed your disgusting display out there." So she said as she pointed her finger out to the dance floor.

Arthur felt himself bristling at her unspoken complaint, "There was nothing wrong with what I was doing! Lady Clarissa asked me to join her in a dance, so I did! Who would I be if I denied a Lady to dance?"

Morgana scoffed, planting her hands firmly on her hips, "A good husband, for one thing." She could not believe how absolutely callous Arthur was behaving, treating Merlin as if he was some kind of toy. Only meant to be there whenever Arthur had need for him, and then to be tossed aside as soon as he was done with him.

Arthur blinked, although he really shouldn't be to surprised. Merlin had all but consumed his life since the day Arthur had first heard of his existence from his father. "Don't hold back Morgana." He said, crossing his arms over his chest. "You have something to say to me, so go ahead and say it." It wasn't as if the Lady had ever held herself back before. She was an unnaturally bold woman for the times they lived in.

"You are married!" Morgana hissed at him as she threw her arms out. "And Merlin saw you dancing with another woman!" If the prince wasn't able to see what he was doing would be wrong, then it was only right to bring it to his attention-quite forcibly if she had to.

Arthur's lips thinned, "I don't believe that you have anything to do with my relationship with Merlin." He said firmly, before looking up. His eyes scanned the corner of the room where'd he left Merlin, but of course, the boy had left already. "...Where'd he go?" He demanded. It should have been clear that Arthur wanted to have him wait there so that he could keep an eye on Merlin during the party.

Morgana didn't share the same thoughts as he did, "Where do you think?" She snapped at him wildly. "He left!" And she was only able to hope that he had gone to his room, a place he should be safe at instead of roaming the castle. The palace was usually quite safe with all of the guards around, but Morgana wasn't so sure that Merlin would feel safe. He was in distress, and who knows what kind of trouble he would find in the state he was in.

It wasn't to hard for Arthur to figure out what Morgana was fussing at him about-to make a connection between her shouting about him dancing with Clarissa and Merlin's mysterious disappearance, "I was just trying to entertain one of our guests!" He excuses himself. He'd done nothing wrong, had asked Merlin for his permission and everything. He hadn't needed to do that! He could have just left, he'd been trying to show Merlin a curtesy!

"Your very beautiful female guest." Morgana said, refusing to take any excuses. She was just done with Arthur and the treatment he'd given Merlin. She had so much hope for him when he had shown such anger before he'd gone out to fight Valiant. "Who-may I remind you, gave you a favor." She assumed but had made an educated guess, how many female guests were crowding around Arthur at one time? Who else would be so bold other than someone who had a reason to be-like having her favor accepted in lieu of one's husband. "Which you then left him to watch."

"You don't have to make it sound as if I was cheating on him." Arthur grumbled under his breath defensively. Why did nobody seem to understand that he didn't want Merlin, they'd all acted as if he had chosen to marry him in some kind of strange fit of passion he'd never felt before.

Morgana's voice sounded strained, as if she was truly tired of dealing with him and having to restrain herself from doing something that would draw the attention of the court to their little corner of the room, "You are married, do you not understand that? Some people would argue that you actually were cheating. Which would be confirmed by anybody who saw the way Merlin left."

Arthur frowned, not knowing what she meant by that, "What do you mean 'how Merlin left?' How did he leave?" Didn't he just...get up and walk himself out of the ball? He couldn't have done anything to dramatic, or the whole room would have given their attention towards their consort. Especially if he'd been causing some kind of scene.

Morgana refused to betray Merlin though, as she doubted he'd be very pleased if she told Arthur he'd rushed out of here in a stream of tears. "Never you mind." Morgana said with a defensive tone.

Arthur rolled his eyes, wondering just how on earth Merlin had managed to get his father's ward to yell at him not once but twice in the same day, "Whatever you and Merlin spend your days talking about, let me make this one thing very clear for those who do not seem to understand." He said slowly, clearly meaning her. "Merlin and I. Do. Not. Have. Any. Kind. Of. Relationship. This whole thing had been decided by our parents before either of us were born. I. Am. Doing. Nothing. Wrong. By. Dancing. With. Lady. Clarissa."

Morgana was stubborn though, and truly did wish the best for Arthur and Merlin. If the two of them were stuck together for the rest of all time, then they should at least be happy, "I've got to ask." Morgana said, with a stubborn tilt of her chin up at him, as she clenched down her fists into the folds of her skirts, "What did you think you were doing with Valiant then?"

The anger she had seen in him then had been so unreal, so voluminous. It had almost felt as if Arthur would have torn the gates off of hell itself if it had been blocking him from getting his bare hands-or sword-onto Valiant. She'd assumed it was because of Merlin being so closely involved, had thought it was what had been fueling Arthur's righteous anger.

Arthur put one hand on his hip and threw out the other, "The man was trying to kill me, so of course I killed him before he could. Or did you not see the snakes that he sent after me in the field?" It was a very convincing act to be told. Arthur would have been able to fool anybody else with his bravado, but he wasn't able to fool Morgana.

The lady laughed, shaking her head because of it. But it was clear that she was feeling less than amusement. "You can't tell me that you killed that man because of the snakes. I have seen you kill before, and it was always ended quite quickly. But you...you absolutely gutted that man. And you're telling me it had nothing to do with him posing a threat to Merlin?"

Arthur tilted his own chin up, showing that he was even more stubborn than Morgana ever would be-or thick headed, "Valiant posed this threat to all of my people, and that is all there is to it. Merlin isn't anything special."

Or at least that was what Arthur would spend his nights telling himself for the next few days to come. He would comfort himself with the thought that he would have reacted with the same ferocity if the victim had been anybody else.

Morgana shook her head as her lips twisted into an ugly expression, "Oh, you keep telling yourself that Arthur Pendragon. But you and I both know that you have this strange urge to protect the boy. Otherwise, Valiant'd have a single stab wound to kill him. Not split apart with half of his guts still staining the sand on the field."

It would truly be a gruesome sight out there, something to be avoided until the next rainfall washed it away.

"It was something that had to be done." The prince said stiffly, refusing to elaborate on it anymore than that. He could still remember the taunt Valiant had shouted at him: like how the winner of the fight would be the one that got Merlin. It had been Valiant's mistake that had led to his ultimate death when he'd said that. He could still feel a shimmer of rage as it brimmed under his skin at the reminder. He'd no longer felt overpowered by the rage as he could comfort himself with what he could still hear in the pits of his soul when he thought hard enough: the sickening gasp Valiant had made as his blade slide thickly into the soft skin of his belly.

Morgana looked disappointed by this, as if she was hoping for some deep confession of love that was never going to come. "And just think," Morgana muttered hatefully under her breath just loud enough for Arthur's ears to pick up on it, "He wasted his time giving you a favor, for Christ shake."

Arthur nearly blew up on her, unable to take another 'favor' conversation for the life of him all over again, "I NEVER-" he stopped himself when he realized he had started to scream at her. He forcibly lowered his voice, straining to keep it at a solid level, "I never asked him for a favor. A favor that you and Gwen talked him into in the first place!"

God, Arthur laid all the blame on that one at Morgana and Gwen's feet. All of this stress or fighting could have been avoided if the girls had just stayed in their lane and left things to how they were supposed to be: him and the boy only together when they had to be. Or as Arthur wanted it, he thought grudgingly as he glared across the room to where Merlin was supposed to be. But the spot was decidedly empty, and Arthur had to stop himself from tracking the boy down and getting some iron cuffs to lock him to the table leg of the food table he was so interested in. So Arthur could keep a proper eye on him. He shook away the thought annoyingly: no. He told himself. He'd have no reason to keep Merlin under lock and key now that Valiant was dead, there was no more reasons for him to be protected now as the threat was gone.

So why did Arthur almost feel lost? As if the boy needing him at all was what was keeping him grounded in the first place.

Morgana spoke up, refusing to keep silent on the matter at hand, "So, what you're actually telling me," she cocked her hip out, crossed her arms over her chest, before raising this challenging eyebrow, "Is that you don't care about Merlin...so that is why you walked off the field looking as if you just survived some kind of massacre."

She had never seen so much blood coating Arthur before. She was honestly surprised he had arrived with none of it on him, washed away during his bath. One would think that so much blood would have left a stain, or some kind of marking that would never come off.

Arthur truly hated this conversation, but even he didn't know why he hadn't just walked off at this point. There was nothing that he could do to make her agree with him, and there was nothing she could do to stop him if he did just decide to walk away. But maybe he still had a bit of leftover guilt churning away inside his belly: guilt because he hadn't seen the signs of Valiant's destruction before Merlin saw it fit to approach him himself, or guilt because he knew Morgana was right. He had cared if only for a moment what happened to Merlin, and this is why he had been so violent in his fight. But now that it was over-he'd even had to apologize and everything-he wasn't going to spend the rest of his life cuddling the boy as if he was some scared little beast that had been hurt by man.

"He's a member of my kingdom." Arthur said as he straightened up, looking at her with all of the importance a person of his station was able to afford to have, his eyes narrowed on her down his shapely nose. "What exactly did you expect me to do when I heard what that vile man was doing. Just dismiss it and act as if I didn't know full well what was going on?"

Arthur could have never done that. He could never have listened to Merlin's bloodthirsty screams coming from the next room, to see him day in and day out among the castle as he limped about. To see the fear growing into his eyes, and to see the shadows that formed under his eyes as the days passed from night after sleepless night. To watch him flinching at every loud sound or creek of footsteps as they happened right behind him. To watch as he trembled in fear in front of everybody as Valiant spun his pretty words to ensnare the entire court. As he tortured and violated their consort every night right under their noses.

Arthur would have never turned a blind eye to what was most obvious. It almost made him wish he could bring Valiant back from death just so he could have the pleasure of killing him all over again. But no. He would not put Merlin through that again, he would not allow him to be faced with his attacker even if it'd be just long enough to watch Arthur putting him down like the dog he was.

But Morgana didn't have the same sentiment as he did, if her scrunched up face was any indication, "And yet," the woman drawled out in muted disgust, her tongue sharp and quick as she spelled out the truth. "That is exactly what you almost did."

Arthur nearly lost whatever bravado he had as he flinched at her words. He couldn't even argue against them, because they had been true in the realist sense. He had almost been caught turning a blind eye to what was going on right in front of him. Did he not tell Valiant he was sorry-in front of the entire court-as it became clear that Merlin's story was just to full of holes, despite the truth of it. He almost wanted to take his own sword and cut out his own tongue when he remembered how he'd apologized to that vile man. Had he also not told Merlin-straight to his face-that he was a liar. Accused him of making up stories just to make Arthur look bad. As if whatever it was that happened to Merlin had anything to do about with Arthur. And then just allowed him to leave his chambers, when he'd known that Valiant was still wandering about the castle at that point.

God, could he have been anymore stupid? As anything under the sun could have happened to the boy while Arthur had been off having a pity party all his own.

Morgana continued to talk, shaking her head with mocking disappointment in him, "And to think, you left him all alone to fend for himself against that monster. I mean, Merlin actually had to apologize to that creep and everything just to make things right among the court."

It still caused distaste to ripple over Morgana as she remembered Merlin having to literally apologize to someone like Valiant. Merlin had been the victim, and not only had he'd been ridiculed and mocked-called a liar before he was dismissed in front of the very people that were supposed to listen to the word of their consort over the word of a lowly knight. But then to have to apologize to a vile man who'd taken pride in hurting you...it had truly been a horrific sight to see. As well as showing Lady Morgana just how blind Uther was to things that were happening right in front of him. She had so hoped that Arthur wouldn't share that same blindness, but then he had walked out on Merlin. Just like he was now, abandoning the consort that needed him in favor of the slut that wanted him like a starving dog might want a steak.

"...Excuse me?" Arthur asked, feeling as if he had some kind of roaring sound that echoed in his ear. Because there was no way he had just heard what Morgana said. "He had to do what?" This was the first time he had heard of Merlin apologizing to the court, to...to that monster. It was horrifying enough to know he had done it. But to know that Merlin had-that scrawny, vulnerable, innocently naive boy-he had done the same...? It was unthinkable.

Morgana scoffed, a nasty smile on her lips as she saw the effect she had on Arthur, "What? Did you not know? What do you think exactly happened after you left him behind like you did?" Did Arthur think everything had worked out now that he'd left? Had he thought Merlin had no troubles leaving the cage of that room Arthur had left him in?

Arthur clenched his fists at his side, ashamed to admit that he hadn't even considered what had happened after he had left. If Arthur had only knew then what he knew now, he would have never had the council meeting to begin with. He would have stormed Valiant's room and murdered him in his bed, save Merlin his own dose of humiliation by waving him around in front of the council like meat on a stick. So it wouldn't look as if Merlin was being walked out like cattle going to the slaughterhouse.

"He shouldn't have had to do that." He said through a clenched jaw, a muscle inside his jawline jumping violently at the thought. His nails dug sharp enough in his palms that he could almost feel blood pooling from the half moon cuts he made. It was as if Morgana was rubbing salt in the wound, making him see he had been 'so' wrong if he thought everything was over and done with just because Valiant now laid on a slab waiting to be burned so his body would be gone, leaving nothing besides the memories of his time there. And the hope that they would fade over time.

Morgana almost laughed at him, as she gave him a grin that was anything but amused with him, "Don't act like you care now." She spoke with a gentle undertone that sounded almost as if she was mocking him. "We so wouldn't want to ruin your tough guy act."

Arthur acted as if he was to tough, Morgana thought angrily on Merlin's behalf, as if he hadn't been affected and acted in response to Merlin's pain. And now here he was again, acting as if things could just move on with him being on top of the world as it always was in this kingdom. While Merlin was left behind to drown under the weighty stares of everybody else who wanted to seek their entertainment by taking it out of the flesh of an innocent.

Arthur brought a hand up to pinch harshly at the bridge of his nose, "I did apologize to him and he was fine." Letting Morgana know that he hadn't just ignored his own involvement in Merlin's pain. That he'd actually tried to make things up for what he had done. That he had actually worked up the nerve to apologize to the boy he had hurt with his own callousness.

"So," Morgana glanced over his shoulder and he knew that she was trying to seek out Lady Clarissa, wherever she had disappeared to as his absence from her drug on. "I suppose him accepting your poor apology-" Arthur almost wanted to correct her and say that whatever apology he gave to Merlin had been anything but poor. It had taken real guts! "You decided to take that as permission to-"

Arthur stiffened, already knowing that she'd been about to say something very unladylike about the woman he had sought company to be with, "Chose your words very carefully, as you are treaded into dangerous waters here, Morgana. She's a lady of the court, as you are yourself."

Now, Arthur didn't know Lady Clarissa very well, but she was still a Lady. She deserved to be spoken about with respect, not with what Morgana was about to spew, trying to give her character a harsh judgment call.

Morgana smirked, "I find it quite funny that you are able to remember she is a lady of the court, and yet, you do not seem to remember that Merlin is also now considered to be part of the court." She had seen ladies like this girl before-this...Clarissa-and she didn't see what Arthur found so pleasing about her. That he'd leave his own consort just for one dance with her. A harlot most likely, hiding behind all her pretty lace and decorative jewelry, spending her night dancing with a married man. Wasn't to hard to know what she wanted.

"If you must know," Arthur said forcibly, as he waved his hand about in front of him with his own frustration. "Lady Clarissa isn't anything like you're thinking-"

"And you know her so well." Morgana scoffed as Lady Clarissa was clearly new towards the city. Morgana knew every Lady that took up a residence within the inner capital. So she had to live further on the outskirts of the kingdom for Morgana not to have known her by sight alone.

Arthur continued on as if Morgana had yet to interrupt him, "Because she clearly respects Merlin's role in the court-" Morgana wanted to laugh because it was clear that the prince didn't respect his own consort, so why would anybody else in their kingdom? "As Clarissa asked for Merlin's permission-which would be custom among the married-before she'd asked me herself."

That was all Arthur needed to know that Lady Clarissa had class. Or he would have declined her if she had appealed to him directly, while ignoring his consort directly in front of them. He had appearances to worry about, dancing with harlots-as Morgana tried to claim about her-wouldn't have done him any favors.

"-And!" Arthur continued before his father's ward was able to cut in with yet another ill-remark about his personal life decisions that had nothing to do with her. "Merlin said that it was okay. He gave his blessing!" So there, he allowing it absolved Arthur from any guilt that Morgana was trying to enforce upon him.

Morgana blinked at him, as if she was trying to decide rather or not he was truly the idiot he was portraying himself as, "...And you'd believe him?" Morgana asked slowly. "Do you truly think that Merlin-who knows that his own husband hates him-wants to confirm it by watching you dance the night away with another? The least you could have done was decline her, it's not as if you actually like to dance."

Which was true. Arthur hated to dance, he only knew how because it had been apart of his many lessons. He had to be excellent at everything he did, which would occasionally mean a dance.

Arthur clenched his jaw and turned his head away, refusing to acknowledge any of his own sinking dread forming in the pit of his gut. He remembered how Merlin had called out, and warning him not to lose Lady Clarissa. Arthur had known Merlin hadn't been happy, but he had ignored it for his own excuses.

Morgana tutted at his defiance, sounding as if she was patronizing him when she'd spoke out of turn, "You are just like your father, you know. You drag that boy here and yet, refuse to care for his emotional well-being, as long as he is able to do his work as your puppet to make you look good among your people."

Arthur's head whipped around, while having an almost snarl forming on his lips at hearing her insult his father. But he forced it back lest he say something regrettable, making sure to correct himself at the very last second, "I do happen to care about him." He hissed at her.

And then he nearly swallowed his tongue as he realized what he said. It was this hugely large over-exaggeration. He didn't like Merlin per-se, but he was at least starting to see he wasn't as horrible as he first considered. He could at least stand to be around his consort without-no, he still wanted to strangle him at most times-but at least he could breathe the same air without wishing him gone.

Morgana scoffed though, not taking any of his words as more than a grain of salt, "Only because you don't want to live with the guilt if he dies under your care. I doubt you'll have many marriage prospects if he had died once word spread that it happened under you. Not many will give their daughters-even if to have a chance to be near the crown-if you've got a reputation similar to that of a black widow."

"Bl-black widow?" Arthur sputtered out with disbelief. There was no possible way he'd get a reputation like that. Like those deplorable women who managed to get away with killing off their husbands so they could amass all of the millions of coins left behind, "Are you out of your mind?"

"No, Arthur." Morgana said with nothing less than seriousness coating her word. "I think it is you that is out of your mind." And then she was crossing her arms back over her chest to give him a narrowed eyed stare, "I want you to mark my words Arthur Pendragon. One of these days, you will regret treating him like you have."

Her words seemed to sing with a certain word of prophecy to it. It was made clear that Morgana wasn't just trying to get underneath his chain mail. She truly believed that the day would come that he'd regret the way he'd all but dismissed Merlin from the get-go.

But Arthur was a stubborn man. He was more than willing to go to sword for Merlin if he had his life-or virtue-in danger, which he'd proven by his brutal display of anger out there on the field. He'd apologize to the boy for not being there, and for the wrong-doings that he may have done to him. But he would not, ever, for as long as he may breathe, pretend that there was something between them. Arthur would play the part when needed, act as a devoted husband when it was required. But within the limited boundaries of what he could get away with, Arthur would not do more than the bare minimum.

"This is ridiculous, Morgana." Arthur said with a firm tone, refusing to be talked down to, for her to treat him as if he was just a common criminal for taking the simple pleasures within a female's companionship, stretching as well as a pushing against the boundaries that the contract had his hands tied by. "Even if that boy does like me-" which was gross in Prince Arthur's opinion. "I am quite sure that it will pass, if it hadn't already." He did, of course, remember Merlin yelling at him about how he didn't love Arthur. And Arthur was more than fine with that now, it gave him one less thing to worry about if he didn't have an addled or love-stricken dog following after him with any hopes of Arthur tossing him a treat. "And as I have told you countless times already, I don't want him. I am only with him because of the duties and obligations demanded of me from the contract, in case you've forgotten about it as well. I'm not going to be talked to as if you just caught me cheating on our charade of a marriage."

Maybe Arthur was right. The prince couldn't be faulted just for treating their marriage as the sham it was. The two weren't in love, so would it still be considered cheating if Arthur went and did whatever he wanted? It may not look favorably to the people who had bought the lie of their marriage so easily. But to them that knew the truth...Morgana didn't care that they weren't in love. A marriage would always be a marriage, so it was considered cheating in Morgana's eyes, even if Arthur didn't see it the same way. According to the law, the two of them were bound together, until death do them part.

Morgana's face screwed up in response, her disgust for Arthur in that moment showed on her every feature. And then she was dropping her hands by her sides to clench them tightly in the fabrics of her skirts. Disgust coiling her words, "I want you to remember those words, Arthur. And don't come crying to me the day you realize how wrong they were."

Confident that she had gotten the final word in their argument, Morgana whipped around, her hair flipping out to smack Arthur directly in the face. And while the prince sputtered as he spit out a mouthful of hair, Morgana was storming away, hands still clenching around the folds of her skirt.

It wouldn't be long after Morgana had left did Arthur realize just how awful of the bad mood his father's ward had put him in. He wasn't in a mood to continue a dance, nor was he in any kind of fit state to go looking for the Lady he had been forced to abandon. Lest he insulted her accidentally with his vile mood.

Arthur Pendragon would end up abandoning his own celebration party in favor of sulking up in his room for the rest of the evening.

X

Merlin hadn't known where he was going for the longest time. One could argue that he still didn't know where he was going. After Merlin had left the party, he'd just kept running until he stopped in the middle of nowhere, as he'd felt every cold brush of tears trailing down his cheeks in wet patches. They'd felt so cold on his skin, that despite the warm weather of the summer night, his face felt as if he'd walked straight into one of the coldest, and iciest of thunderstorms during the winter months.

But that was felt very little compared to the roaring thunderstorm that brewed deep in his own heart. He hadn't known that he was able to feel this much pain, hadn't realized that he had still been clinging onto this shred of hope that Arthur and he could work things out. But it didn't look like that was going to happen in this lifetime, or any that came after.

To think, he'd started to feel just a bit hopeful after Arthur had approached him just to give him an honest apology. He should have seen it as to good to be true, should have known from the start that Arthur was going to ruin it all. Just like he always ruined everything that Merlin was doing.

Had Arthur not ruined their own wedding by checking out Morgana as Merlin had hung off his arm? Had Arthur not been the one to ruin his first tourney, his first and only attempt at starting up a courtship? Had Arthur not been the one to run at the first sign of danger, and leaving Merlin to end his first council meeting with disastrous results? And now here he was again, ruining what was Merlin's first after-a-tourney celebration.

Merlin had stopped running at some point as he couldn't take the strain any longer. And he felt as if he was no longer sure why his heart was beating so fast that it ached. Because of his run across the castle, or if it was because of the pain Arthur caused him.

Merlin walked through the dark castle blindly as he rubbed harshly at his wet cheeks, while trying in vain to hold back the sobbing noise that wanted to erupt from the back of his throat. He wouldn't have been able to tell any person that came across him-which nobody would because they were all at the party and celebrating Arthur's win happily-how long he had been walking. It could have been minutes or it could have been days for all he knew.

All he knew was that it was dark, the halls of the castle forming shadows that seemed to encase him completely. As if they were trying in vain to tell the one that walked within their darkness that he wasn't alone. But this...this wasn't true, Merlin knew that. He was always alone, forced to fight all of these battles with nobody having his back. Because his one and only husband-the only one he would have for the rest of his days-would rather spend time forming dalliances with the noble daughters of the court.

"Merlin?"

Merlin's head snapped up in surprise at the sound of his name, and he blinked dumbly at the sudden light around him. He could have sworn there was no light, but it was clear due to the wax dripping down their sticks that the candles had been lit for hours. Merlin blinked again as he took in where he had just walked to, his eyelashes feeling sticky uncomfortably clumped together from the wetness of tears still clinging to them. His face was dry, but he could still feel a redness to his cheeks where his tears had fallen. His eyes were bloodshot.

"Why aren't you at the party?" Gaius asked him, frowning as he looked curiously at one of the candles he used to check what time it was. "It's pretty early to have left, isn't it?"

Merlin almost wanted to laugh, but he wasn't able to gather enough will-power to do so. It felt as if he was completely drained of energy that he may as well just drop to the floor and spend the night there. But he didn't, his legs were unsteady but he manage to keep himself upright.

Gaius was sitting on the other side of the room, at one of his many tables with one of his many books opened up, and he read by the candlelight. It made sense, Merlin was thinking in this daze kind of way-the buzz of his thoughts only in the back of his mind as he felt numb all over. He hadn't gone back to his room, where he could have all the privacy in the world he wanted, content that Arthur'd never visit him there. He had gone to the one place he felt safe at: his uncle's.

"...It's been a long night." Merlin said in this weird tone, off sounding. "I think I'm going to just get some sleep." And then Merlin walked right past Gaius, bounding up the stairs with a sudden burst of speed so that he'd be able to seek the sanctuary he wanted within the comfortable atmosphere of his second room.

A place he was familiar with, and wouldn't be reminded of Arthur because of it's simplicity.

If Gaius thought there was anything strange about Merlin coming there instead of to his more elaborate royal suite, he didn't ask. But it was only because Merlin was already in his room before Gaius could form the question.

"...Merlin?" Gaius asked instead, looking up to the stairs confused.

X

As soon as Merlin got to his room, he wasted absolutely no time with kicking off his shoes, throwing his jacket to some forgotten corner of the room, and collapsing headfirst onto his bed.

"...Why?" Merlin whimpered to himself before he curled up into the smallest ball he could to try and shield himself from more heartache if it came his way. He could already feel it when the tears started to brim his eyes again, crap. He had hoped he'd cried himself out already, but it turned out that wasn't true. It was as if a fresh wave of pain coursed through him.

It wasn't fair, none of this was fair. But when had his life ever been fair? Firstly, he'd been born a sorcerer in a world that would see him dead for it. Then he was married off forcibly to the son of the man who was responsible for it. And now...this.

He'd made a mistake, he knew, forgiving the prince as easily as he did. He had seemed so genuine-weird-but genuine. And who knows, maybe he was sorry. But that didn't mean he should have let Arthur off the hook so easily, to almost act as if the prince hadn't done any thing wrong in the first place. If he knew then what pain Arthur would have caused him just minutes later, he would have never had even entertained him in the first place.

And it wasn't just Arthur. It was absolutely everything.

It was the favor, he would have thought he'd learned his lesson after Arthur had been so cruel about it. It's one thing to reject it, it was quite another to go about it in such an awful and shocking way.

It was about Madame Clara, the matron that ran the kitchens. And how she had attacked him to try and get his ring-the ring he clung onto desperately right now-because she was refusing to believe Mary and claimed Merlin could never be consort.

It was about that Knight Chase in the knights quarters that had questioned why he'd been in there. And had decided he shouldn't have been allowed in because he was apparently nobody important. Only to turn around with panic-right after he had challenged Merlin to some kind of duel-when he realized that he was the new consort.

It was about Morris, who had taken pleasure out of hurting Merlin. Who had brought to his attention how perfectly suited Arthur was for Morgana. He was probably laughing himself silly when he saw Arthur going with Clarissa, leaving Merlin by himself just as he always did.

It was about Valiant, who thought he could do whatever he wanted-kiss him whenever he'd pleased-because who would believe that the city's 'unwanted' consort was screaming out the truth only to be turned away.

It was the dance, and how all of those people whispered and laughed to his face instead of behind his back because they didn't know he was the one they were being amused at, like he was just some big joke. Or even scornful towards him.

He was just so tired, this deep weariness that was in his bones made him want to stay here, where he'd dragged his pillow into his chest to hold for comfort, and never get up again. It was miserable, being here in a kingdom that he knew he didn't belong in.

He was tired of being Consort, tired of trying to be what they wanted but somehow losing himself along the way. He was tired of being seen as a failure, and tired of being unwanted and tossed aside for somebody better than he was. Rather it be for their looks or for the ancestry that he just didn't have.

He just wanted to be Merlin again, toiling his days away on the field as he cracked jokes with Will. Spending his nights practicing what little he could manage to do with his magic in the secret of the little hut he shared with his mother.

Merlin would stare blankly at the wall across from his bed for the next few hours, watching as the time slipped away from him, his arms curled around the pillow to his chest with one hand clenched into a fist, so that he was able to feel the ring on his finger...as a reminder of the chain that kept him trapped in Camelot.

This...Merlin thought wearily to himself the longer he laid there, unable to get the image of Arthur holding that woman close out of his mind...must be what heartbreak felt like.

He had never felt it before. And this was all because of...Arthur? Merlin had spent all this time-wasting his time really-trying to get the prince to see Him. Trying to make Arthur his in some way but maybe the simple truth was-Arthur never would be.

Merlin would eventually fall into this restless sleep, and the crushing weight of knowing that he would never be good enough for somebody like Prince Arthur Pendragon, was something that would stay with him for a long time to come.