Hello, I originally started posting this story on AO3, but remembered that the fandom is alive here as well, so hey here it comes. That is why the first five chapters were posted right away. Otherwise, I'll be updating it more or less every weekend.
I'd also like to thank everybody who has left a review/like/follow. You are what keeps me writing. I hope you enjoy this update, I struggled a bit with it, but I think it didn't turn out too bad. Next week's might come a bit late as I am expecting a lot of chaos.
"Give us one reason why we shouldn't expel you right this moment, Novice Hathaway," demanded Headmistress Kirova. She sat pin straight behind her desk. On each of her sides stood Head Guardian Petrov and Guardian Alto. The latter had his arms crossed, leaning firmly against the cabinet behind him. Rose sat on the other side of the table, where I stood next to her.
It was the first time I had seen Rose crumble under authority. She was nervous; she was fidgeting with her hands which laid in her lap. I could feel she didn't know where to start.
"It wasn't completely her fault," I firmly said after a moment of silence had passed. Stan looked at me flabbergasted.
"Excuse me!? Did you not see what she did? Hell, you were a part of the wreck she caused!" he exclaimed, clearly angry. I saw Rose's shoulders tense up. She didn't like to think about the marks she had left on my body. The bruises on both my chin and around my eye were already starting to bloom, even though it hadn't been more than an hour since she'd hit me.
"Did you speak to students attending the party?" I asked him, brushing his comment away. He gave me a firm nod. "Then you know there was a feeder present. Rose didn't bring her. One of the Moroi boys did."
"That doesn't mean she can go around trashing rooms and assaulting her classmates," retorted Kirova. Her jaw was clenched, brows furrowed.
"She didn't trash the room," I argued back.
"Dimitri-" Rose tried to stop me.
"No, Rose, that's enough," I cut her off. She wanted to protect Lissa and I wasn't having it. We both knew I was speaking the truth. "Princess Vasilisa compelled the student to start trashing his own room."
All three looked at me with wide eyes. "That is… a strong accusation, Guardian Belikov," said Alberta. I firmly nodded. Compulsion was banned, seen as a cardinal sin, controlling somebody's mind like that.
"If you ask her about it, I'm sure she would confess. Rose is just trying to protect her."
Stan peeled himself off the cabined and leaned in with one hand planted on Kirova's desk. "I saw her hurt him, you did too, Belikov. There's no denying that," he said.
"You're right," I confessed. "Ro- Novice Hathaway did rough him up. But that was because of her bond with the Princess." Kirova let out an exasperated groan. One a person would expect from a teenager, not a full-grown adult in the role of a Headmistress.
"I'm really starting to doubt that claim. It's like an excuse."
"Excuse? When has Rose ever complained about it?" I felt my anger threatening to rise on the surface. It seemed to me as if Kirova was set on Rose being some lazy delinquent villain. They fell silent, each retreating into themselves, searching for an example they couldn't find. "I read her file. Last year she passed her Qualifier with stellar grades," I continued.
The exam I was talking about, Qualifier, was a sort of interview administered by extremely qualified and well-known guardians, who visited the academies to assess novice guardians of their character and dedication. The novices took it their junior year. Some dhampirs could even be deemed unfit to continue down the guardian path. Rose was far away from that.
"Guardian Arthur Schoenberg, himself, deemed her as an "excellent example of a truly dedicated future guardian"," I quoted. Oh yes, I was pulling out the big guns. Art was a highly respectable guardian. "He mentioned her maturity, her understanding of duties, which was, and I quote, "unmatched for a person her age". In his opinion, she portrayed a need to protect Princess Dragomir. And if you know her, you know she would do anything for Vasilisa."
Kirova and Stan avoided my gaze. Alberta took a deep breath. She spoke up. "What happened?"
I looked down at Rose. As if sensing me, she glanced my way. She understood what came next, her part of the battle. She needed to convince them, and let them know. I knew a part of her didn't want to. The information about their bond was dangerous. The only other person who knew of it and understood it, besides the girls and me, had betrayed them and tried to use it against them.
Rose spilled everything. She told them what she had told me in the bathroom. "We think that the more she uses her powers, the more it affects her health and, in turn, mine," she added nervously. I didn't know that. "It's not like she's been using it a lot lately, I swear. These… bad emotions can build up over time. Combine that and today's event…" she trailed off.
"And you get a disaster," finished Alberta. Kirova leaned back in her seat.
"The fact of the matter is, you still assaulted a Moroi," she stated.
"We are not trying to deny that," I hurried. I rested a hand on Rose's shoulder, making it known I'm firmly on her side. "Rose is completely aware that what she's done deserves a punishment. We just wanted to make a case against her expulsion," I explained further.
"That is a hard feat," commented Stan. I nodded.
"Head Guardian Petrov," I addressed her formally. "When I volunteered as Rose's mentor you told me it would come with more responsibility for her. I'm giving you my word. This won't happen again. I'll make sure of it."
Alberta studied me and Rose in silence for a moment. Then she moved her head towards Kirova and Stan. He let out an exasperated groan. Kirova looked like she held it on the inside.
"Fine," the Headmistress said at last. "But you aren't off the hook, Rosemarie. If you do something like this again, nothing will protect you from expulsion. Not even Guardian Belikov or Princess Vasilisa. Meanwhile, you'll be restricted from all social activities that aren't connected to your schooling as a guardian for the next three weeks. Which includes the upcoming dance."
I saw Rose move to say something and slightly strengthened my grip on her shoulder, not enough to hurt her, but still let her know to reel whatever she wanted to say back. She sagged back into her seat. The dance was something she really wanted to attend. While having our short breaks from training she had previously explained how Lissa bought her a dress a couple of weeks ago, specifically meant for this occasion.
"You will also have to do some community service. You will be updated on what exactly shorty," added Kirova.
Rose's jaw was clenched as she processed everything laid out.
"Fine," she finally replied. "Thank you," she quickly added after hearing me clear out my throat. I bowed my head slightly in thanks too.
"You are both dismissed. I believe I can trust you to get her to her dorm, Guardian Belikov?" Kirova asked me. I gave her a curt nod.
"Good. Vasilisa and Christian are waiting in front of my office; tell them to come in please."
We thanked them again and left. Outside we were met with the before mentioned couple. Lissa looked nervous; she grabbed Rose's upper arms immediately after she'd stepped out of Kirova's office, looking at her best friend expectantly.
"I didn't get expelled?" Rose answered a silent question, which Lissa might had sent through her head. She'd probably asked how it went. "I got put on probation… Again. Mixed with some community service," she explained further. Christian let out a low whistle, to which the girls gave him a mean look, but didn't acknowledge him otherwise.
"And the dance?" Lissa asked hopefully. Rose let out a dry laugh and shook her head.
"You should still go. Have fun for the both of us."
Lissa furrowed her brows but didn't answer. Although she had used compulsion, it seemed Rose and I both agreed she would get away with a slap on her wrist.
"Headmistress Kirova is waiting in her office for you. Both of you," I interrupted their conversation, glancing from Lissa to Christian. The Princess turned to me. Her eyes shifted over my injuries. I flinched away as she lifted her hand towards my face. She gave me a confused look.
"I can help," she explained as if I didn't know what she wanted to do. I shook my head. Healing me meant using Spirit, which meant there would be consequences. Which would most likely be transferred to Rose. She had had enough for the night.
"No, thank you, Princess. I'll be fine," I answered.
Her brows furrowed again. She stared at me for a moment, before giving Rose a hug and going into the office. Christian followed quickly behind.
"You should have accepted it," Rose said, unable to look up at me. I stayed silent for a moment. Then I nudged her arm with mine.
"Let's get you to your dorm. You need to get some rest before tomorrow's training," I changed the topic. She groaned but said nothing.
We walked in silence for a while. It was the middle of the human day, but still slightly chilly. Rose didn't have a coat on.
"Are you cold?" I asked her.
"Why didn't you accept Lissa's offer?" I heard her ask from behind me, ignoring my question. Turning around, I noticed she had abruptly stopped in the middle of the academy courtyard. Guilt, confusion, and sadness were visibly expressed on her face, going from one feeling to the other in a circle.
"Do you think… Do you think it's not real? Or that it's… freaky?" she asked, pausing, and trying to find the proper words to express her feelings. I took a step closer.
"No, I trust you, Roza," I said with a gentle tone, unconsciously slipping out the Russian version of her name. Her face lit up at it but remained confused.
"Then why? Why not let her help you?"
Standing in front of me was a clearly strong-willed young woman. The cold Montana wind swept up her long dark hair and made it dance softly around her, creating a sort of aura. Her face betrayed her genuine worry. This person was prepared to help anybody who would ask; they probably wouldn't even need to do that. She wasn't just any novice. No, she was already a guardian. And in this moment, she wanted to protect – or help – me.
"Because of the aftermath," I replied, aware I was being vague.
"Lissa would be alright. I would take the bad emotions!" she argued.
I sighed, slightly frustrated. I came closer, leaning down toward her.
"That is the problem. I don't want to see you hurt," I explained, loud enough for only her to hear me. Not that it mattered; the courtyard was completely deserted, besides us two.
Her eyebrows shot up. Her eyes bore into mine, and only then I realised how close we were. The second realisation hit me even harder. My own words. I didn't want to see Rose hurt. I cared about her, that had been obvious for a while, but putting her first, putting her before the Princess… That was beyond dangerous. Especially if we were supposed to both be her guardians.
"Dimitri?"
My name on her lips sounded like a blessing. I fucked up. I promised her that I would help, but it seemed as if I was starting to put her first. Which couldn't happen.
"I need to get back to my night shift. Can I trust you will head straight to your dorm?" I asked, changing the conversation. Her face fell, but she nodded anyway. We said our goodbyes and left in our respective ways.
I found religion comforting. Something grander, making sure everything worked the way it was supposed to. Well in theory. My favourite part was the churches. In Russia, they were wonderful, amazing pieces of art and history, filled with incredible sculptures and paintings alike.
Saint Vladimir Basilica was much more modest, although clearly influenced by Russian cathedrals. Still beautiful, but smaller, not as grandiose. Not that that was really important as of this moment. The valuable part was the peace it brought me, a space to think. I came to the service every Sunday, to hear the sermon and to think. To contemplate my life, my decisions, and my failures. At this moment, I was thinking about the currently compromising situation I was in.
Roza.
I couldn't continue being her mentor. Being close to her had already done its damage, but if we were to continue, I couldn't imagine being a good guardian to Vasilisa. There was no way I could put her first. Not with Rose nearby. I would have to reallocate myself to somebody else. Sooner rather than later. Put some space between us. It would be awkward; I had practically begged her to be my mentee. And I had just promised to be there for her. But in the end, it would be better for all of us.
I felt the air in the room shift before I heard her call out my name.
"Dimitri?"
Turning my head, I saw her standing a couple of rows behind the pew I was currently sitting on. I shifted myself toward her direction.
"What are you doing here?" I asked her. Rose wasn't particularly religious, which was fair enough, but it also meant she didn't usually come here. The last time I'd seen her attend mass was during her last probation because it was the only time she could see Vasilisa out of class. So why was she here now?
"Community service. Why are you here?" she asked, confusion clear on her face. I could feel some sort of a force pull my body towards hers, like a moth to a flame. Just as destructive.
"Just... Thinking," I answered, just as confused.
Father Andrew came down the pews at that moment, greeting us. It was interesting to see him in his regular outfit and not his ceremonial robes.
"Rose, good, you're here," he clapped his hands together, then turned his attention to me. "Guardian Belikov, are you also volunteering today?"
'Volunteering', right, because Rose totally came here of her own volition. Glancing her way, I saw her looking at me expectedly, head cocked to the side.
"Sure, why not," I answered.
Father Andrew then explained what we were doing for the next couple of hours. There were boxes of old scriptures and books that needed to be sorted out, by author and date. There were many of them, I struggled to believe we could even put a dent into the amount of work that needed to be done in such a short time.
I suppressed a laugh when I saw Rose groan. She was living her worst nightmare. We got to work, doing so mostly in silence. Going through each item slowly, we devised a plan to first sort them by authors by putting them in different piles.
"I guess it shouldn't really surprise me how many are about Saint Vladimir," Rose commented.
"We try to have as many different originals, or copies of his work, as possible," Father Andrew responded, amusement clear in his voice. "Say, Rose, do you still need the one book I lent you a while ago?"
"Oh shoot, I totally forgot," she confessed. "I'll bring it to you as soon as I can. Although with the whole probation thingy, I have no clue when that will be," she confessed.
"You can give it to me, and I can pass it over if you want?" I offered. She looked at me with a thankful smile and nodded.
"That would be great, thank you, Dimitri."
My heart skipped a bit at the way she so earnestly said my name. Father Andrew coughed, getting both of our attention.
"I'll go get the next box. Will you be fine on your own for a moment?"
We nodded and he left without any additional words. Rose and I continued in a relaxed silence for a couple of minutes before I broke it with a jab. "Why did you need to borrow a book on Vladimir? I can't imagine you reading at all, but a book on religion? No way."
She let out a low chuckle, which warmed my heart. Then she sobered up.
"I don't come here often. Obviously. But one time, months after the accident, when Lissa and I were slowly coming to terms with the bond, I did join the mass, bored out of my mind. But one thing Father Andrew said during the sermon caught my attention. He said Vladimir helped people, that he was full of Spirit, or something along the lines of that. And I went full detective mode," she explained, leaving me speechless for a moment. All that dedication, to figuring out what was 'wrong' with them. The way she had connected the dots, I didn't think I ever could.
"Saint Vladimir was a Spirit user?"
"Officially he never specialised. Quite a powerful figure, an unspecialised Moroi, who did so much good. But no, he did. In Spirit."
"How did he deal with those overwhelming emotions that come with the use of Spirit?"
She looked away. It was her turn to stay silent. That could only mean I wouldn't particularly enjoy the answer.
"He passed it on," she said, glancing back and giving me a sad smile. "To his guardian, the shadow-kissed Anna. They were bonded, like me and Lissa."
So that must have meant there was a way for a bonded pair to live in harmony, without any bigger issues. Saint Vladimir was widely known for all the good he did, the lives he saved, people he helped. For making miracles. Anna was praised for being the model guardian, doing everything in order to protect him – even losing her life, it seemed. She stayed with him until he died.
"Saint Vladimir was known for living a long and prosperous life," I remembered. She nodded.
"He did."
She was hiding something.
"What happened with Anna?"
She let out a dry laugh. She gave my wounded face a once-over, shook her head, and looked away from me. It was as if she couldn't face me while telling the truth.
"Because of the nature of her death, it's not as widely known." She paused, but my silence told her to continue. "After Saint Vlad died, she went insane and killed herself," she confessed.
No.
That couldn't be the answer. I could suddenly understand her resignation to her seemingly inevitable future. What must her life been like for the past couple of years, thinking, knowing, this could very well be her end?
"That won't happen to you," I said. "I won't let it."
I was surprised by both the conviction in my voice and my words alone. Just barely an hour ago I was thinking about how leaving would be the best thing to do in my case.
"Comrade," she started, "that isn't your job."
She was right, one hundred per cent. Vasilisa was my job. If anything, Rose was my future co-worker, the other person who should be there to protect the Princess. She was the important one.
But I couldn't.
I couldn't step away, I couldn't say no to her, I couldn't let any harm come near Rose. Not that I didn't trust her to take care of herself, hell, I trusted her more than any other guardian. But this? This was insane. She didn't have a choice in this, even less than in becoming a guardian.
Before I could reply, Father Andrew had returned, with another box overflowing with documents. Rose and I didn't get another moment alone for the rest of her community service couple of hours.
At the end of our 'shift', Father Andrew thanked us, reminding Rose to 'be a dear and return that book, will you', which meant I had to escort her to her dorm. We didn't talk, both lost in thought, haunted by our previous conversation. She excused herself for a moment, rushing into her room to retrieve the book. Once she came back out and handed it to me I asked her what she was doing on Friday, now that the was banned from attending the Equinox dance.
She just shrugged. "Staying inside, avoiding doing homework. Why?"
"I'm not on duty during the dance. If you want, we can meet for additional training," I offered before I could stop myself. She thought it over for a second, but in the end, gave me a firm nod.
"Fine. Around the time the dance starts?"
"That's fine by me," I confirmed.
