CHAPTER ELEVEN

He kept looking over and over at his phone for the last two hours. Maybe she would text him back this time. Maybe she's just busy with all the work in her new store. "I miss you, you idiot." He muttered under his breath. He moped around some more, waiting for a text from a girl he likes. He felt like a stupid fucking kid in high schooler going through puberty, but this time it was worse... It was the same girl. It is as if he never left. After Mikan's text last time, Natsume was completely out of it. She never called again. She didn't return his fake angry voice messages, nor respond to his texts about it. Nothing. She doesn't send him anything anymore. He's beginning to miss it, desperately. His stupid fucking flowers are starting to wilt, he finished every leftover from the last batch she sent him. He has been eating the blandest shit this entire time just for sustenance. She just makes everything better. The worst part of it all was that it was not like she blocked him. She casually responds to messages about the kids, she just didn't want to talk about anything else but that. Natsume noticed this and started asking the stupidest questions just to get her attention. Anything from her, he'd be more than willing to take it. He felt like a fool and began to feel uneasy. It's like she's slipping away from him again. What if she's starting to lose interest in him? He knows her too well, if she says goodbye to him, it would be like they never met. But they have kids! It's not like Mikan's going to go that far. Damn, if it's true that she loves him, then why is she making him feel this way? He wanted to cry out of frustration. At this point in his life, he shouldn't be experiencing this level of excruciating pain from a goddamn girl. Why the fuck does it matter anyway, it's not like he wants her… But he misses her if he's going to be honest. This is the longest fight they've ever been on and he's going nuts thinking about it. Sometimes he regrets telling her how he felt. He could've just shut his mouth, let her fuck him for fun, and throw him away if she doesn't need him anymore. In his sick head, that would've been far better than fucking telling her he loves her. Now everything's just a mess. Stupid fucking Mikan, even when she's gone, she's causing chaos in his life left and right. He stopped dead in his tracks and focused on tending to his kids instead, all before a loud knock banged through his door. It's fucking Mikan probably. Hopefully? No one will dare bang on his door that aggressively. Or not. Of course not. Why would she be here? Isn't she tired of me?

The banging is getting louder. Fucking asshole, as if it's fucking easy to fucking get the kids to fucking sleep.

"What the fuck are you on about?" He said as he opened the door with a rain-soaked Mikan. His heart leaped. She's here, she's finally here.

"Are you seeing someone else?" Natsume was shocked. Why was she so fucking random? "Huh?"

"Are you seeing someone else?" She was fuming. Natsume couldn't understand the question, so he said the same thing over again. "Huh?"

"Are you stupid? I said, are you dating someone right now?"

"What? Me? No!"

She took a deep breath and scrunched her nose again. He knew what that face meant. She's annoyed, big time. Why though?

"And you're still in love with me?"

He was caught off guard. What does this have to do with anything? He panicked as he remembered leaving the bottle sterilizer on. He excused himself, still confused, before running towards the kitchen.

Mikan soon caught up with him and grabbed his hands and the bottles he's been focusing on to avoid confrontation. She moved her lips to his ear and whispered. "I caught Hotaru and Ruka bribing your assistant to make me jealous. Obviously, I am very much irate... Now, I don't know what they're on about, but I would like you to know what your problem is. So just answer my damn fucking question." Her lips started going in on his neck, trailing kisses as she tries wrapping her legs around him. She wanted to ride him, desperately.

He couldn't help it. He was completely under her spell. "What… what does it have to do with anything?" He moaned.

She stopped and looked him dead in the eye. "Answer me! Are you still in love with me?"

"I don't want to! Stop badgering me!" He shouted.

"Coward!" She said getting off of him.

"What are you fucking on about? Are you drunk?"

"Look. I will ask you one last time, no do-overs, so you better answer me truthfully. Are you still fucking in love with me?" She practically screamed.

He was getting more and more annoyed with all the mixed emotions he was feeling. "Yes, I am! You fucking brat! Happy?" He shouted back, as he suddenly felt a sharp pain in his left cheek. She slapped him. Hard. He was so confused. Is this a fucking fever dream?

"You son of a bitch. I thought you were with a new girl, that's why you kept pushing me away." She said with an evident change in her tone. Natsume was about to speak. "Shut up! Let me fucking have this!" She shouted, there was no point in talking, he knew what she was like when she's in that mood. He sighed in frustration.

"I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat. The only person I wanted to talk to about how much my heart was breaking was you, you're my best friend! Do you know that? Do you know how much you mean to me? But how do I tell you that when you're also the one breaking my heart? You didn't want anything to do with me. You kept avoiding me, so I did the same thing… I told you I love you, didn't I? So many fucking times. And yet you made me feel that you didn't want to be with me. I thought you moved on. So what the fuck are you trying to do? Is this some revenge plot you're trying to make? What, you don't love me anymore? Or maybe you never really did, and you've used me long enough."

Natsume rolled his eyes in annoyance. What was she talking about? "Look, I'll say this now, and I never want to be bothered about it again… I don't want you to love me out of pity, okay? I wanted you to love me, because you did, because that is what I deserve. I don't want to be your fuck buddy or your spare tire. I want you to love me the same way I love you… and if you couldn't give me that, might as well move on." He said as he felt another sharp pain on his cheek. "The fuck?" He shouted completely annoyed that he was slapped while pouring all his bottled-up emotions out.

"Move on? How dare you gaslight me and belittle my feelings for you! All right, fine! It's true! I've loved Akira for the longest time. I will always love him. My love for him will remain the same throughout my life… Is that what you wanted to hear?" Natsume was so tired of taking care of the kids for the day, he didn't exactly want to hear this from her right now especially right after telling her how he feels. He was about to walk out when she grabbed his hand and spoke again. "But my love for you grows, each day. I can't fight it. No matter what I do, I can't take you off of my mind… I didn't think it was even possible. I honestly thought about wanting to kill you just to get it over with." She laughed softly. "Because I knew… I will never be happy with anyone else, as long as you walk this earth."

Natsume was startled, he felt soft. He didn't know she felt this strongly for him. "Mikan, don't just say things like that, just because you could. I'm-" He said gently. Mikan held both of his hands and looked at him with her big doe eyes, the same ones he fell in love with. She looked at him as if he was the only thing that mattered to her. His heart felt that warm tingly feeling again as he went under her spell. At that moment, he knew, he was a goner... He was still head over heels for Mikan Sakura.

"Natsume, I'm not saying this to hurt you. I'm sorry I hurt you. I didn't mean to. I know you loved me first and you loved me longer. I know I fell in love with someone else before I even knew how I felt for you. But I'm here now... So why are you pushing me away? Why are you punishing me for it? Did your feelings change? Because I'm- I just, I don't know, I don't know what to do anymore with all these feelings that I have for you. I tried stopping it… I didn't come to you sooner because I didn't want you to be unhappy with me. I didn't want you to think that you had to stay for the kids… But I want you to know, I desperately need you to know, that all I want, more than anything else in this world, is for you to just… just tell me you love me… because I love you so much Natsume. I never felt this way before and it's driving me insane." She stopped and wiped her tears. "…So if you want to move on from this... From us... I just want to ask how... How do I unlove you, Natsume? Help me completely understand why you don't want to be with me anymore, I want to understand it, so maybe I too can start to move on with my life. Because right now... All I ever think of is you. And I-". Everything felt like it was happening all at once when she felt Natsume's warm lips on her own. Her emotions got jumbled up. She was elated, relieved, and relaxed, all at the same time. If she's going to put it into words, she felt at home. The kiss was too intense, he kept pushing back up until she was about to fall backward, but he held her waist with one arm with his other hand to the wall to keep them from falling. His kiss felt like every emotion they were bottling up the whole time, it was passionate, it was hungry, it was everything they had been waiting for for a long time. She closed her eyes and felt electricity jolting all over her body as his hand started to move up the back of her neck and she had to wrap her hands around him because she just couldn't take it. Mikan moaned his name unintentionally, her hands starting to reach for his hair as he started to move his lips toward her neck. He stopped all of a sudden, much to her dismay.

She opened her eyes and saw him looking at her with his annoying smirk. "Good enough for you?"

Mikan feigned innocence and looked at him with a pout on her face. "I said tell me."

He laughed, rolling his eyes. "I don't want to." He whispered in her ear, Mikan pouted again. "Please."

He found her so cute, it was killing him. "Mikan Sakura… I have never loved anyone as much as I have loved you." He said word for word.

Her tears started falling again. "You're so unfair, you really had to make me work for it." She said hitting him lightly in the chest.

"I'm sorry… but I think… I can think of several ways to make it up to you." He smiled with a mischievous grin. She looked up at him, she knew what he meant. She started getting nervous as she felt his hand starting to slowly close in on the button of her jeans. "Now, why are you so wet?" He said huskily, fumbling to remove it from her. She knew what he meant, it wasn't the rain... It was something different. She knew once she heard that voice again, that voice he makes when he wanted to do the dirtiest things to her, big time. She started shivering when she felt his hands on her bare flesh. She missed him, a lot. "It was raining and I… I came in as soon as… I... I yelled at Hotaru and Ruka." He was starting to peel her shirt off of her, agonizingly slow. "And you told them what exactly?" He said as he completely removed it, leaving her in her bra. Mikan knew he was looking at her breasts, he wasn't even trying to hide it. She was starting to get nervous again. The butterflies in her stomach went wild when he looked at her head to toe and licked his lips. "That you weren't… that I wasn't…" He started unzipping her jeans looking at her intensely. He was in full control of the situation, and it was making every part of her shiver. "Yes, go on."

She decided to stop him and his hands. Now that it was really happening, she couldn't help but feel insecure. "Natsume, wait. I'm feeling conscious… you know, with all of the lights, I just had the kids. I'm not exactly like you know…"

He laughed softly, as she pouted. "Love, I don't think you understand how long I've been holding back." He said with that boyish grin of his as he tugs her pants by the waistband, cupping her ass along the way. "Ah." Mikan yelped in shock as he rubbed her slowly against his erection.

"Wait, Natsume. Hold on. You're so sexy… and I'm just-" Mikan still held his hand in place. She didn't want him to move. She kept blocking his kisses. He was getting more frustrated by the minute. "What… what do you mean?"

"I'm not. I don't feel… I don't think I'm the same girl you were attracted to… You love me, but-"

He couldn't understand her. She was everything he ever wanted. "You know… I always held back when I made love to you." He said easing her in by kissing her everywhere but her lips. Mikan kept begging for it, following his lips around, but he doesn't give in. He needs her to want him the same way. He needs to have his way with her tonight. "I didn't want you to think I was a fucking pervert… because I'm practically… obsessed with you."

Mikan was a bit shocked, how can he be holding back? She was thoroughly fucked all the time. "You… you were? How?"

He nodded. "What, you think that lingerie you were wearing went unnoticed? You think I didn't have a hard time pulling myself together… when all I wanted to do was…" He tucked her hair beneath her ear and whispered his lewdest thoughts. "Rip everything off that's keeping me from making you pay for giving me such a… hard time… But you know, lately… You've been driving me more insane." She suddenly felt chills down her spine.

"Wha- what?"

"I want you even more, love. I don't intend to hide it any longer. Ever since you had the kids, I couldn't think straight, I can't pull myself together. I keep undressing you with my eyes. I can't pay attention to any word anyone would say when you walk into a room… All I could ever think about is what I'd give to be inside you again." He laughed softly, shaking his head. She gulped, she recalled all the times she felt conscious when she caught him staring at her, thinking of it as nothing else but a coincidence. "When you wore that black thing the other night. I just can't…" She knows he's trying to distract her as he's getting her naked. But she couldn't focus, she can't help but be torn apart from listening to what her body wanted or listening to every word he says. "I realized… I worship every part of you then, even more now. Especially because that body of yours… gave me the greatest joys of my life." She smiled thinking about their kids and how they were made out of pure love. They were made by two people who despite their flaws, sincerely loved each other. It was because of them that she felt a new reason for living, it was because of them that she learned to know the man she loved the most. Her thoughts were suddenly cut off. "…And oh yeah the kids, gave me the kids too." He joked. She wanted to punch him, but she was caught off guard as he trailed every curve of her body. "I'm just kidding. I love them with all my heart… However… I could never deny the fact that I dream night and day wondering what you would taste like, the sounds you would make, or what you would look like underneath me again ever since that night. I miss making sweet, sweet love to you." She lightly pushed him away from her. "Stopp! You're so vulgar." She said shyly making him smile. He finds it such a turn-on when the Mikan Sakura was under his spell, and right now, she obviously was. Big time. "You're so cute." He said touching her face delicately.

Mikan got annoyed. She hates it when he calls her that. "Shut up... I'm a grown woman." She protested in a proud tone. Natsume looked at her from head to toe once more and licked his lips. "Of course you are. Very much so."

"Natsume." She blushed. He couldn't take it anymore. He went in for a kiss all of a sudden. He couldn't resist her, all he wanted to do was make up for all the lost time with her. "Hey!" She protested. He then went for another one. And another one. And another one. His kisses were getting more and more aggressive. He was getting out of control. Her knees were growing weaker, and it was starting to scare her. "Natsume, hold on." She begged. He stopped and looked at her intensely, she was freaking out. It was, after all, her first time with him after a long time… and this time with all the feelings they have for each other out in the open. "You don't want me?" He asked confusedly.

"Of course I do… It's just that, technically, it's our first time, since you know… and this time it's you know…"

"What, you grew your virginity back just because I love you?" He joked. "No. I mean it's… supposed to be special… and now I have… it's these. I have these… I'm not prepared… I'm not the girl you used to… I have stretch marks everywhere. It's unattractive!" She said, pointing out the areas she thought were imperfect. Natsume kept looking at her every move. "I'm not that fit since the kids too." He was completely out of it. He couldn't concentrate on what she was saying, her pointing out her flaws made him feel even hotter for her, she was really one hell of a woman. She had no idea. "Natsume are you even listening?" She cried in frustration.

"I can't."

"You can't what?"

"I can't concentrate! Stop touching yourself like that." He blurted out.

"Are you insane?"

"Mikan, I'm hopelessly in love with you." He blurted out as he held her in his arms and looked at her with stern eyes. Mikan knew what he was doing, using his bedroom voice and all. "Please tell me right now that you don't want me, I need you to tell me to stop… or else I swear to god, you're not leaving this room in one piece if you let me."

Mikan bit her bottom lip, he's so hot. She imagined all the things he could do to her with that body. She felt her heart beat fast, to the point that she felt blood shooting up through her entire body. She has never felt this alive. She couldn't contain herself. Why did she hold back in the first place if he wants her this bad anyway? "Just… just please be gentle with me." She stepped back, taking off her jeans completely, wrapping her arms around his neck as she slowly straddled him.

"I'll try." He smiled as he pushed her again to the nearest wall as he started fiddling with the clasps of her bra, kissing her softly. She moaned his name over and over again. He didn't leave a part of her untouched and it was turning her on. "Natsume… don't stop." Everything was going too intense for her, she realized how much she missed him, so much so that tears started falling down her face.

"You like that? I thought you liked it better when I'm being rough with you?" He said jokingly up until he realized that she was crying. "Mikan, I'll stop. I'm sorry, love. I'm sorry!" Self-doubt filled his insides, waiting for her to respond as she stopped, rested her head on his shoulder, and cried her heart out. He was shocked and confused by her mixed signals, maybe it was not the right time, maybe she doesn't want him the way he wants her.

Mikan wiped her tears away. "It's not that… I just… I missed you so much, my heart is too overwhelmed with all these emotions… I'm just… I've never been this happy… I love you, only you, Natsume."

He felt his heart swell hearing her say that. He wanted to cry too. He feels… complete. After all these years, he's finally got the girl of his dreams.

Mikan stopped crying and gently laid her hands on his face as she went for a kiss. The kiss was slow and tender, it was unlike any other kiss they had before. It was gentle yet it felt so surreal. It was as if they lived completely different lives before tonight. It was filled with all the emotions they haven't told each other for the past years. Her knees were starting to go weak again as he held onto her waist to support her. She found it so funny and pulled out. She smiled back at him, that smile that made him feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. "I love you too, Mikan, only you." He said looking at her as if she was the only thing that mattered. Her heart felt as if she was running a marathon. She tried to hold back her tears to no avail. He wiped her tears away. "I'm sorry you had to go through all these."

"I'm sorry it took me a while." She responded.

"You're worth the wait." He said as he held her chin up and claimed her lips his. Mikan was on cloud nine, she never felt this alive being held by the love of her life.

Only one thing left to do.

She held his hands and led him to the clasps of her bra. He pulled his hands away out of surprise and she took it back, subtly signaling him to take it off. He pulled away from the kiss and looked at her. She nodded, he completely understood what it meant without her even saying it.

I'm all yours.

He tried to peel off her bra from her unsuccessfully. He was starting to get nervous. It suddenly dawned on him. It's true. It is their first time. Mikan noticed the sudden change in his demeanor, she found it so cute and laughed. "This your first time, virgin?" She stepped back and unclasped it on her own. Natsume smirked. "Just you wait. I'll get you good tonight." He smirked as he started sucking her breasts one after the other, taking his sweet time. Mikan shouted out in ecstasy as she fought back to no avail. "Hold on! I was just! I was just joking! Oh god."

"Really now? Interesting." He said biting one of her nipples.

"Tell me how much you want me." He whispered in her ear as he continued agonizingly ripping off everything she was wearing, his mouth never leaving her body. Her moans were getting louder and louder each time.

She was going nuts. She wanted to melt in his arms to the point that she couldn't respond. She couldn't find her words. She needs him inside her… now. "Come on rookie, you can tell me. I'll let you in easy, I'll adjust accordingly." He teased as he left butterfly kisses on her neck. She shrugged off the insult, her mouth just wide open from the mere touch of his lips. He silently laughed. He was having too much fun. She was just as crazy about him.

She slowly tried to find her words. "I… I want you… so fucking bad. I can't think straight." He successfully peeled her panties from her, with his fingers threatening to enter her core. "Come on love, you're better than that. Tell me what you really want me to do to you or I'll stop." He said as he plunged one of his fingers deep into her slowly pushing it in and out of her. She started to scream. She was going out of her mind. "Shhh." He used his other hand to cover her mouth out of panic, the kids might hear her.

To his surprise, she bit him, turning him on even more. "I want you to… I want you… in every corner of this… house… on this fucking wall, the tub, the couch, on the floor, everywhere. I want you to make love to me, Natsume." She yelped as he pumped another finger inside her, almost reaching her limit.

She was closing in on his fingers before he pulled out. "You sure?" He asked teasingly. She shrieked. She wanted to fight him, but she was getting more and more lightheaded.

"Please… do what you want with me… I'm… I'm all yours." She said as she reached for his hands and sucked his fingers one by one, not breaking eye contact with him.

He couldn't take it, he was already at his limit just by looking at her. He removed his pants quickly, and right when he was about to plunge deep into her, they heard a loud cry coming from the other room.

"You can't be serious! I just changed the diapers!" He shouted as he put her down.

It took Mikan a minute to compose herself. She laughed, completely spent. "Don't worry, we have an entire lifetime together… Maybe we can sit this one out." She said as she gave him a peck on the lips.

"Mikan just let me finish, just this one, please. Just a quick one." He said in desperation. The kids cried harder.

"We should go." She laughed.

"Give me ten minutes, and we'll get back on this."


The night grew colder. It definitely didn't take ten minutes. It took the whole night. He was so frustrated, but she was holding her laugh the entire time. The minute their child sleeps, the other one wakes up and causes chaos. They were both up all night, and it wasn't even the fun kind.

"You couldn't have just given birth to one. You had to go the extra mile and get two?" Mikan hit him in the head. "You want a return policy on my vagina?"

"That's not the only thing I want from that." He said as he inched closer to her and held her by the waist. Mikan stopped his face with her hand right before his lips landed on hers. "Not so fast, it's morning already and we have work to do. Go wash up."

"Ughhhh!" He yelled out in frustration.

"I love you." She whispered in his ear before giving him a bite on the neck. "Just to let people know you're mine."

Natsume looked her dead in the eyes, he couldn't hold himself together. "Come on, just take your pants off. I'll make it quick, I promise."

She laughed so hard. She couldn't take it. She wanted to, but she knows they won't be able to control themselves once they start. They're probably going to stay in forever. "I love you, but you have to leave."

"I don't fucking have to. I want to be with you." He protested like a child with a temper tantrum.

"The thing is…" She looked at him and licked her lips. It turned him on, god he was such a sucker for her. "What makes you think I'm gonna let you leave this bed if you let me? I don't want it quick… I want it slow. I want you all to myself, in every corner, in every position, no work, no babies, no one else but me making love to you all night… I want to treat you the way you deserve to be treated, Natsume. All those years waiting for me, don't you think you deserve... some sort of reward?" She whispered as she boldly planted a kiss on his lips. Mikan inched closer to him and put her hands on his chest before leaning to his ear. "Be a good boy, maybe I'll let you in on a treat when you get home. Maybe even spend the whole week here… down on my knees. Doing everything I'm told… just how you like it." She said, her hands started going down his thighs.

"You wouldn't." He challenged.

"If you do as I say… maybe, I would return the favor... tonight. Maybe I'd do anything for you, anything you ask me to."

"You promise?" He asked innocently… as if they weren't talking about fellatio.

She nodded and winked. "A- ny- thing." Tracing his lips with her fingers. "I love you."

He sighed defeatedly, kicking the pillows in frustration. He wasn't gonna get lucky this morning. She couldn't help but laugh. "I love you too." He said in anger.

END OF CHAPTER ELEVEN


NEXT CHAPTER

Paper Rings

I expected more from you, to be honest.


AUTHOR'S NOTES

Just got off from watching a concert (Guess which one), but I told you I'll be back in no time! Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter. If you noticed I put up chapter titles as song titles hinting at the next plots heh. Hope everyone is doing well, leave a review if you want to! If you don't... it's your life. Don't let anyone from the internet tell you what to do lols.

See you next time!