Chapter 13
WARNING- THIS STORY CONTAINS MATURE THEMES SUCH AS SELF HARM AND ABUSE, PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THIS MAY UPSET OR TRIGGER YOU IN AN WAY
I have suffered with self harming before not long ago, and please if you or any of your friends/family are going through it, get help and just remember it DOES get better and you're not alone. I'm always here if you need any help I'll understand xx
Disclaimer- I do not own 'Twilight' or any of the other books written by Stephanie Meyer. All characters mentioned in this fanfic belong to the wonderful author and not me (although I wish Jacob aka Taylor Lautner belonged to me )
This story is set in New Moon, just after Edward left Bella and she is depressed and lonely.
Bella's POV
I wake up in the morning feeling like I'd been run over by a bus. My body was aching even worse than the night before and my face was still sore. I stumbled to the bathroom, half asleep when I saw my reflection in the mirror. God, I looked awful. My eyes had massive grey bags underneath them, my face looked well and truly battered, there were bright red welt marks covering my nose, forehead and just underneath my left eye, my right one was a bruised purple colour. It was in the worst place as well because I couldn't even cover it up with makeup like I normally do as it was such an obvious part of my body, the swelling would show up. I'm going to have to skip school for at least a week, I realise, there's no way I can go in looking like this. It's painstakingly obvious that someone's beaten me up and everyone including the teachers will be asking loads of questions. Shit, I was supposed to be meeting Jacob in two hours and I can't face him like this after promising everything was fine, as if he needs anything else to worry over! Guess I'll just have to cancel, what stupid excuse will I use this time though?
I call his number, feeling guilty about lying to him but seriously, he's worried about me enough, having to find me on the floor last week. Jake's a good guy, he doesn't need to be dragged into my messy life, he deserves better than that.
"Bella?" he asks, sounding as if he's just woken up.
"Oh, I haven't just woken you up have I?" I ask, feeling even worse.
"No, no its fine" he reassures me.
"Okay, I was just calling to say I can't come over anymore, I'm ill".
"ill with what?"
Ugh, he's not supposed to be suspicious, I'm so bad at lying. He knows me too well though, he can tell if something's wrong just by hearing my voice. I know that's meant to be special if you and your friend are that close but sometimes it's a real pain when you're purposely not telling them something because it's better for them.
"just a bad cold and a fever".
"what's going on Bella?" he asks, I can practically hear his eyebrows scrunching together over the phone, trying to work out the answer.
"nothing, I'm just not well like I said."
"okay," he sounds defeated.
"bye Jake" I say softly, wishing things were different and I didn't have to lie to my bestfriend.
"bye Bells".
He hangs up and I sigh, hating Charlie for having the power to ruin my life and make me lie to the one person who's stuck with me through everything. When I first came here two years ago, I couldn't have been happier. I was meeting my dad for the first time and Mom was still alive, sunning herself at home with Phil. I met Edward and everything seemed so perfect for a while, even when I found out he was a vampire, it didn't really bother me, he didn't prey on humans like the other covens so why did it matter? Him and his family were the nicest people I had ever met, from day one they had welcomed me into their homes like I, myself, was part of their family (all except Rosalie of course). But even she thawed over time and seemed less hostile to the idea of me and Edward being together, a vampire with a human. Even when all that stuff happened with James and I got injured, I was still over the moon that someone like Edward would want to be with someone as plain as me, rather than the impossibly beautiful vampires like Rosalie. It was only when Edward left and Mom died, that everything started to go downhill. Even looking around my room now, it isn't how it used to be, instead of reminiscing on all the good memories that happened in this room like I would have before, all I could see was all the terrible things that had happened here afterwards: Charlie giving me many beatings, cutting my wrists and passing out, all the times I'd cried myself to sleep wishing for a better life.
I ring up the school to tell them I can't come in tomorrow because I'm sick, it's not like they'll look into it anyway what with me being 'Chief Swan's daughter', they'll just trust whatever I say. Although I don't know how I'm going to keep this act up all week though, surely they'll think it's weird and come over to check. Oh well, I'll worry about that when it comes to it. I set about cleaning and tidying the house for Charlie, knowing that if it's not done by the time he gets back, he'll punish me extra badly for it.
After I've done that, I'm lying on my bed, just about to fall asleep when I hear the floorboards creak. I jump out of bed as quick as anything, my heart thudding in my chest. What happens if someone's broke into the house when I have nothing to defend myself with? I turn to look towards where I heard the noise when I see Edward standing there, staring back at me.
Edward's POV
I hadn't known whether to just turn up in Bella's room like I used to, part of me knew that I couldn't do that anymore and that she would be mad because I hadn't had anything to do with her for months and then I just think I can show up in her bedroom whenever I like but the other part of me was desperate to see her, to make sure she's ok. I know she's probably good at pretending so I wanted to make sure she definitely was ok by seeing her when she didn't expect it. But when I climbed up the window and went in there, I wasn't expecting to be shocked myself.
I look at Bella's injured face, feeling angry. Who the hell had done this to her and why? She looks back at me with tired eyes and in that moment, she looks so small and vulnerable I feel the need to comfort her. I lean forward and stroke her wounded face, without thinking, when she instinctively pulls away, her eyes brimming with tears. My hand stays frozen in mid- air, my brain not working properly at the sight of the girl I love so much in a state like this. I could kick myself for touching her, as if everything was back to normal again, what an idiot!
"I'm so sorry.." I start when she cuts me off.
"Edward, what the hell? You scare the life out of me coming in here unannounced like that and then you stroke me? We're not together anymore, you're the one that broke up with me all those months ago and you think showing up to Forks when I'm in hospital makes up for that?" she whispers, tears still dripping down her cheeks.
"I don't know what I was thinking, because I wasn't, Alice gets this scary vision of you lying unconscious in a pool of your own blood and we come here, terrified of what we're going to find and thank god you were ok. I've been worried ever since so I came here, yes I know it was unfair to surprise you like that, but I wanted to make sure you were ok and I find you all beaten up? You can't exactly blame me for being shocked!" I argue.
"okay" Bella says in response, staring down at the floor as if it's going to talk back to her.
"okay? Are you not going to tell me who hurt you?" I say, desperately.
"no."
"But how am I supposed to help you if you won't tell me what's going on? "
"you don't."
We stand there in silence, her biting the top of her lip anxiously and me at a loss of what to do. Clearly, something's going on in her life and maybe it's connected to why she started hurting herself in the first place, but I'm never going to know if she doesn't tell me. I know I'm being unreasonable, why would she trust me of all people to share her problems with when I'm probably the one who caused some of them but I can't help it. I can't just watch my Bella suffer like this, it kills me to see her so sad. The guilt of leaving her eats away at me until it consumes everything inside of me. I feel like I'm going to regret agreeing with the rest of my family on moving away for the rest of my immortal life.
There's a sudden knock at the door. I glance at Bella, but she's still staring off into space, not even aware of my presence. There's another knock, this time louder and more insistent and I rush to go and get it before it gets even louder. I search for the key until I remember Bella always kept a spare set of keys in the draw next to the door, whether they're still there I doubt but I check anyway and they're exactly where they were last time I was here. I open the door to see Jacob glaring back at me, holding a pot.
"Edward, what the hell are you doing here?" he asks, a frown on his tanned face.
"it doesn't matter," I respond, not wanting to get into the whole climbing up the window and breaking into Bella's bedroom thing.
"fine, where is she?" he says, looking around.
"in her room" I answer, not knowing if Bella would want him here, but afterall she definitely didn't want me here yet here I am and anyway maybe he can get through to Bella.
He hurries up the stairs, me behind him and he looks sad when he enters her room and sees Bella's bruised cut face. Jacob immediately rushes over to where she's standing and grips onto her hand. She comes out of her reverie and looks up at him, surprised he's there. He looks closer at her face and shakes his head in disgust. She puts her hand over his as if to calm him down and a flash of jealousy runs throughs me. I've only been gone six months and all of a sudden these two are a bit too close for my liking. I try to ignore it though, focusing on Bella and that fearful look in her chocolate brown eyes that never used to be there the last time I saw her. Even though I hadn't even been left for a year, it felt like a decade. Bella had changed so much since then and not in a good way. The once smiling beautiful, bright girl that I had fell in love with was a timid shadow of herself now. I wonder what awful thing could have happened for her to change so drastically?
"That sonofabitch has hurt you again hasn't he? Charlie would be rotting in hell if I had a say in anything" Jacob spits bitterly.
Charlie? What does Bella's dad have to do with anything, what does he mean? 'Again'?
Phew, this take a while to write, anyways hope you liked it. Definitely trying to update more often now, have missed writing. Tell me your opinions on this chapter :)
