Chapter Sixty-Three: Fate

"Yes…" Aisla's sweet voice sighed as her hands slid up his chest over his shirt, then gently removed the borrowed jacked from his shoulders, fingers gliding across his skin with its descent, all the way down to the tips of his fingers. "Hold me in your arms, Katsuki. Show me that you love me."

He pulled her forward until she was pressed against his chest, then buried his face in her hair. Her arms went around his back, fingers digging in almost painfully as Katsuki held her tightly. For a long time they didn't move as they stood there like that, relishing in the comforting embrace. He had no idea how long the moment lasted before Aisla finally pulled back with a happy smile.

"I have to use the restroom, alright? I'll be right back." She lifted onto her toes and pecked his cheek.

When the bathroom door clicked shut, Katsuki let out a sigh of relief. He suddenly felt exhausted. All night, he'd been telling himself that he was finally going to tell her he loved her. Part of him was afraid that she'd be upset, since she'd told him the day before not to say it. Most of him felt the intense need to tell her, as if he couldn't possibly go another moment without expressing his feelings for her. Now that they were out, they didn't seem as terrifying as they had before, but he still felt strange trying to picture himself saying them all the time. However, the way Aisla had told him she loved him… He could hear that a million times over.

When she emerged from the bathroom, she skipped over to him before planting a chaste kiss to his lips. "What do you want to do now?" she asked cheerily.

He shrugged and gestured at the TV. "Wanna rent a movie?"

"Great!"

They snuggled up on the bed with Aisla cradled against his chest, head tucked under his chin and hand drawing lazy circles into his shirt as they started an action/adventure flick. He wasn't sure what type of movies Aisla liked to watch, but she'd chosen this one at random before tossing the remote across the bed and curling up with him. It didn't matter—in the first half an hour, and despite the two cups of coffee she'd drank at the restaurant, Aisla was fast asleep.

Katsuki smiled to himself as he felt her breathing become even and heard the familiar contented hum she sometimes made when she was asleep. He stroked her hair and caressed the bare skin on her arm as he took in the beautiful girl cradled against him. He didn't deserve her for a second, but he'd greedily take every moment she offered and cherish it. He'd taken her love and affection for granted before, but he vowed to never let himself do that again. He loved this girl, and he was going to do everything he could to make up for his mistakes.

Katsuki fell asleep soon after, with the movie still droning softly in the background. He hadn't even realized he'd fallen asleep until movement jerked him awake once more. His eyes popped open, passively registered the TV, then shifted down to the squirming girl. Aisla lay on her side, half curled up and tangled in the sheets as she fretfully slept. She whimpered in her sleep as she tossed around like she was having a bad dream.

He remembered the last time she'd had a nightmare. Aisla had sought him out one night and told him about the dream she'd had in which Katsuki turned into a villain and tried to kill her. The memory had stayed with him all this time because of how completely terrified Aisla had looked when he gazed down at her. That was the night she told him that she needed him, Katsuki Bakugo. She felt safe with him then, she'd said so herself, but now that so many months had passed without her needing him…did she even feel the same way?

Another pitiful whimper escaped her lips, and when he shifted closer to her, he noticed tears leaking out of her eyes.

"Aisla, wake up." He gave her a gentle shake, but he knew from experience that she could be a heavy sleeper sometimes. She didn't stir at his words. Her face pinched and she breathed in shakily as her fingers continued to claw at the sheet beneath her. Katsuki tried again, careful not to be too rough and scare her awake. That was exactly what she needed, to go from one nightmare to another.

"Aisla, open your eyes. You're dreaming. Come on…" He rubbed the side of her arm soothingly as he murmured into her ear. "It's okay, Aisla."

Finally, she sucked in a gasping breath and her eyes flew open. She let out a whimpering cry before turning abruptly, eyes panicked as if she wasn't sure where she was.

"Aisla, you're fine," he said, trying to control his own panic at the sight of her fear-filled face. "You're safe now, it's over."

"Don't say that!" she cried and slammed her fists against his chest. Her blue eyes were hazy, still not seeing him right. "It's not over! It's not over!" She shrieked the words at him. "You can't do this to me!"

He gripped her flailing wrists in his hands and pinned them against the bed. "Aisla," he moaned, "I love you, please wake up. It's just a dream, baby, come back to me…"

Crystal eyes widened and a shaky breath left her body. "K-Katsuki?" she stammered, blinking rapidly as she tried to bring him into focus. "Y-you're leaving again…"

"No!" he exclaimed, one hand cupping her face now. "No, Aisla, god. I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here, I'm right next to you."

Her hands moved to his face and hesitantly touched him with just her fingertips. She traced the lines of his jaw, his nose, brushed her fingers across his closed lids, then finally skirted over his parted lips.

"You're alive," she gasped out, fingers gripping slightly and shaking in either fear or relief, he couldn't be sure. Her eyes pooled with tears. "Katsuki, I was so afraid!" She pulled his lips down to hers, crushing them together with a sudden desperation he couldn't remember seeing from her before.

His body hovered over hers as she pulled him closer, arms wrapping around his back and sliding up his shirt to feel bare skin. He shuddered against her as he allowed himself to get lost in the kiss. The languid movements of their lips, the low, throaty moans, the exploration of hands on bare skin. Katsuki didn't even realize his hand was moving until he heard her inhale sharply. His hand was on her thigh, caressing the bare skin gently, then gripping the soft flesh in a tight fist and making her moan in response. Her body was squirming beneath him, eager for his touch, his lips, his everything.

God, how I'd love to ravish you right now, he silently moaned as his fingers drew closer to unexplored territory. He stopped at the edge of blue silk, forcing himself not to indulge in perverse fantasies. Oh, how he wanted to reach forward and slip his fingers against her sex for the first time and feel if she was wet with desire. He'd only ever dreamed of touching her, but this was reality. He knew he couldn't go there, not yet, not when they just got back together and he still had so much to make up for.

Finally, he broke their passionate kiss and moved his hand away from her. She still squirmed beneath him, and her eyes told him she'd let him take her if he wanted to. Her chest heaved and her expression was dripping with desire. He had to push back the impulse to grind himself against her. Already, he was having a hard time controlling his own bodily reactions. He'd felt himself starting to get hard at the idea of touching Aisla's wet sex. He couldn't let her know what a disgusting pervert he'd been after everything else he'd done to her. She took him back, but that didn't mean she wasn't still worried about him changing his mind again. Besides, she'd just woken up from a nightmare. If she wasn't thinking clearly, she might end up regretting doing something with him. He couldn't take it if that happened.

"Aisla," he crooned softly and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. "What were you dreaming about just now?"

Her eyes fluttered closed and her lips released a shaky sigh. "You left me again…" she whispered.

"I'm not going to leave you again, Aisla," he promised fiercely. "I know I haven't been very trustworthy in the past but—"

"No!" She shook her head sharply. "Not like that." Her eyes opened, and once more he could see them swimming with unshed tears. Her hands went up to his face once more as her gaze held his. "You were dying, Katsuki. A villain attacked you and I held you in my arms as you struggled to breathe."

"Aisla…" He sighed the name, then rested his forehead against her own. "I'm alive; I'm right here with you. I'm not going to leave you and I'm not going to die on you. I promise."

She sniffled. "I'm sorry I'm so emotional about a stupid dream."

He leaned back and kissed her forehead, her cheek, her lips. "You have nothing to apologize for. You can talk to me about anything, okay?"

"Okay," she agreed with a small smile. "Thank you, love~"

He inhaled sharply at the endearment, eyes closing briefly as a stupid smile spread over his face. "You're trouble," he finally replied as he opened his eyes.

"You're wrong," she disagreed softly as she leaned forward to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. Her lips lingered there as she whispered against his own. "I'm not trouble, Katsuki. I'm yours."


Shoto jerked awake as a sudden crash sounded from the room next to his. He sat up abruptly, making black spots appear in his vision. He blinked it away as he tried to wake up from the dream he'd been having. Already, the dream was fading from his mind, leaving him with a sense of confusion and uncertainty as though he couldn't quite decide if he was fully awake or not. After a moment, another loud noise came from the other room, like something slamming against the wall closest to his. He was pretty sure Midoriya was next door and wondered if he was having another one of his weird dreams. He could go over there and check on his classmate, but…

Aisla.

He hadn't talked to her at all the day before and was starting to miss his best friend's company. He wondered if she was already awake, and thought it would be nice to ask her to breakfast. He knew she liked coffee, so maybe he'd start with that and then bring up food once she'd agreed to go with him.

With that resolve, he slid from the bed, then pulled up the blankets to clean it up. He changed into some dark jeans and a plain white t-shirt, brushed his teeth, then grabbed his phone and slipped out of the room. He was scrolling through messages from his dad as he walked when he heard a door open up ahead. He shifted to the left side of the hallway to avoid whoever was coming out as he frowned down at his screen.

"S-Shoto?"

He stopped dead in his tracks and nearly dropped the device onto the hard floor in his surprise. "Aisla," he sputtered. He watched the door close softly behind her, concealing the room from view, then took in her appearance—guilty expression, lip clamped between white teeth, rumpled dress too fancy for anything she'd normally wear at eight in the morning. His eyes moved down the curve of her waist and noted the way she shifted in her silver heels as if itching to flee.

He glanced between Aisla and the door behind her—the one that led into Bakugo's room.

"What's up, Ru?" he asked carefully, studying her expression as she struggled to settle it into something nonchalant.

"Oh, um, I was just…" She ran a hand through her hair, which did nothing against the mussed appearance.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Aisla," he said gently. "I always knew this would happen."

Her eyes looked even more guilty now. "W-what do you mean?"

He rolled his eyes. "Don't play dumb with me, Ru. I know that's Bakugo's room. You don't have to feel bad for…" His cheeks heated and he couldn't get the rest of his sentence out. For spending the night with him. It wasn't like he had room to talk. Aisla had spent many nights tucked into Shoto's bed, lying chastely by his side while they slept. He knew, however, that whatever she'd been doing in Bakugo's room had definitely never happened in his own back at school. Aisla didn't love Shoto the way she'd always loved Bakugo. He knew it, yet sometimes the reality still stung.

He shook off the thought. "You don't have to feel bad," he finished at last.

Aisla looked confused for a moment, then understanding and a fair amount of embarrassment flashed in her eyes. Her face turned bright red and her hands waved frantically in front of her. "N-no! Roki, I didn't—I mean we didn't…" She took a deep breath. "We didn't do anything, okay? We just watched a movie and fell asleep."

His gaze softened. "Aisla, I'm your best friend. You don't have to feel embarrassed or guilty. I believe you if you say you did nothing with Bakugo, but if you had… I want you to know you can trust me enough not to lie about it. You don't have to tell me, of course!" he quickly added. "But you don't have to feel the need to hide things from me just because…" He trailed off again, unable and unwilling to say the words aloud. It wouldn't be fair to her now.

"Because…you love me?" she finished softly, gaze gentle and reassuring. "You don't have to be ashamed, either, you know."

His smile was genuine. "I'm not ashamed, Aisla, honest. I just know that whatever feelings I may or may not have for you…should probably be kept to myself. You're seeing Bakugo again, right?"

Why did that question have to burn so painfully as it came out?

She nodded. "I think so," she admitted sheepishly. "I mean, we had dinner and we talked a lot. He…" She shifted slightly, bringing Shoto's attention down to her shiny wrist which jangled with a silver charm bracelet.

"Nice bracelet," he commented dryly.

Aisla blushed even deeper. "Thanks… Katsuki gave it to me."

"Aisla," he tried.

"I need coffee!" she blurted. "I mean…" She twisted a strand of hair nervously between two fingers. "Will you go get some coffee with me, Roki?"

He nodded. "Of course. I was actually on my way to ask you the same thing."

Her relieved smile was too cute.

They walked silently down to the lobby while Aisla fretfully attempted to smooth out her hair. It wasn't working, but he decided to pretend he didn't see it if she asked.

Once they were seated in the downstairs café, Aisla let out a soft sigh. "Shoto, I know it must look like I'm being stupid here," she paused and he couldn't help but interject.

"I would never think that way about you, Aisla," he told her earnestly. "I think you're fully capable of making wise decisions. If you think Bakugo is the man for you, then I support that. I think he's come a long way since we started school. Back then, he was just an angry hothead who snapped at everyone and acted superior. He's still arrogant, but he's definitely mellowed out a lot. And I know he put you through a lot of hell during your break up, but even I can acknowledge how hard he's worked to get you back."

Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears as she took in his words. It hurt him to say them because what he really wanted was for her to see him the same way she saw Bakugo. What did it take to earn her affection? What did Katsuki Bakugo have that Shoto didn't? He was kind to her, he offered his feelings up freely, and he was always there for her. Meanwhile, Bakugo was constantly pushing her away and kept his feelings locked up in a vault. Shoto didn't know what went on between Aisla and Bakugo behind closed doors, but he couldn't help but believe that in this situation, he was the superior match for her. He knew it was wrong to think that—guilt clawed at his insides each time he did—but he couldn't stop himself. Bakugo was trying hard to earn Aisla's affection, but at the same time…Shoto was also trying hard. But when it came to him, his attempts fell on deaf ears and blind eyes.

"You really believe all of that?" Aisla asked, eyes searching his and seeking the approval of her best friend.

Do your job, Shoto. Tell the girl what she needs to hear.

He allowed a gentle smile to lift the corners of his lips. "Yes, I believe Bakugo is changing—because of you, Ru. You make people want to be better than they are. You're special. Your presence, your energy encourages people and makes them believe that they can be good even if they previously thought otherwise. You're a light, Aisla. And you deserve to be happy, too."

A few stray tears dripped from her eyes, and Shoto leaned across the table to wipe them away with a knuckle. "Don't worry about me, okay? You're wonderful. I know Bakugo makes you happy, I can see it in your eyes. You weren't the same without him."

"Shoto…" she sighed his name and leaned her cheek into his palm, making his heart flutter in response. She looked lovely when she cried. "Thank you for saying all of that. It means everything to me that you support me. I need you, Roki." She lifted her face and suddenly gripped his hand in both of hers, eyes serious now. "Shoto, you believe me, right? That I need you? Me being with Katsuki has nothing to do with you and I, okay? We're still best friends…r-right?"

"Aisla…" He shook his head as a soft smile settled on his lips. "You really are the most selfless person I know." He gave her hand a squeeze. "I promise you that our relationship is fine. Whatever you want from me, Aisla, I will happily give to you. I'll always be here for you, no matter who you're dating. Date Mr. Aizawa for all I care because I love you and I need you in my life. I don't care about anything else, I just—" He cut off any more words and took a deep, calming breath. He hadn't meant for the words to come out so impassioned. All he'd meant to do was reassure her that he'd be there for her. He didn't even know where the rest of his rant had come from. His profession of love was probably going to sound so weird, too. Of course he loved her, but he couldn't say that. Aisla had a boyfriend and his name was not Shoto Todoroki.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, fingers curling around his tightly as more tears fell. He read the words through crystal eyes as if she was speaking them straight into his mind: I'm sorry I can't love you back.

He offered her a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, Ru. Like I said, I just want to keep being friends with you."

Her gaze was full of concern. "Are you sure that's enough for you?" The words were barely audible, as though she was trying to push them back into her mind but something still forced them out.

You're not being helpful, Shoto… You're making her cry again.

He stared levelly at her and worked to make his expression serious. "Aisla, I swear to you that nothing you do and no one you date will ever affect the way I value our friendship. Being your friend is the most important thing, anything else is just an added bonus."

Her lips twitched at this. "Okay. I would hate to lose you, Roki."

"You won't," he promised. "You're stuck with me."

Now, she smiled and the light filled her eyes once more. "That makes me happy."

You make me happy, he thought as they continued to sip their coffee and engage in much lighter topics. It was true, whether he got to call Aisla his best friend or his girlfriend, he was happy being allowed into her life. Now that she was back with Bakugo, it was time that Shoto got serious with his own love life.

"I'll be waiting…" Akina told him before his trip. Shoto knew it wasn't fair to keep her waiting, but he'd tried to be as honest as possible with his feelings and intentions from the very beginning. He told her he wasn't ready to be seriously involved with someone, but then they naturally grew closer each time they spent time together, kind of like Shoto and Aisla had. The difference there, however, was that Akina liked him back and Aisla had feelings for someone else. Shoto needed to remember that.

"You might be waiting a long time," he'd replied, though what he really wanted to say was, "Please wait for me. I want to try." He'd felt too guilty to send that, though. He didn't want to give her false hope, and he didn't want to lead her on. He needed his feelings to be solely focused on Akina, otherwise he knew their relationship wouldn't work out. If he still had lingering feelings for his best friend, then he might keep hoping there was a chance for them. He didn't want to get into a relationship with thoughts like that, so he'd been honest and let her know he was having a hard time organizing his own feelings.

"Roki?" Aisla asked, finger skimming the edge of the red coffee mug, which had now been drained twice. "Do you believe in fate?"

He thought about that for a long time, trying to come up with an honest response. "I don't know," he admitted. "Sometimes I think it might be real, other times I think that it can't possibly exist because of all the shit I've been through. Surely fate wouldn't be so cruel." He shrugged.

Aisla's lips were pursed in thought. "I guess that's true…" she agreed slowly, "but I like to believe that fate leads us to better things. For example: if I had never been bullied by Shishikura when I was going to Shiketsu High, my parents never would have transferred me here and I never would have met you." Her eyes shone with sincerity, letting him know she meant every word. "I've met so many wonderful people since starting school here, I have a really great mentor—who, by the way, I would not be dating," she said in response to his earlier comment. He grinned sheepishly and shrugged. "I probably never would have discovered this ultimate move of mine, and I'd still be that scared little girl who couldn't stand up for herself. Fate led me to where I am today."

"And in regards to Bakugo?" he asked bluntly.

Surprisingly, she didn't flinch at his words. Instead, she appeared thoughtful. "I told you what happened between us," she started. He nodded. "Well…there's not really an acceptable excuse, it was still crappy of him to treat me like that at all, but especially in front of my family. Then, we spoke last night, and he showed me something that made me believe that maybe fate really did have a hand in my life."

"What was it?" he prompted.

A small smile touched her lips. "My picture, the one he'd crumpled and tossed to the floor, the one that made me want to quit drawing altogether because the memory was too painful to relive. He still has it, Roki. I don't know how, but someone—one of my parents, I guess—sent it to him right after my birthday and he kept it this whole time. He has it stored inside a frame to keep it from getting ruined. And…" She twisted the bracelet on her wrist. "He still wears the ring I gave him for Christmas."

"I did notice that," he acknowledged thoughtfully. "I didn't know you gave it to him, though. Is it supposed to be a promise ring or something?"

Aisla blushed. "N-no! Of course not! It's just…it's just nice, okay?!"

He chuckled at her frazzled response. "Alright, whatever you say, Ru."

She slouched in her chair. "I don't know what it is, honestly. I guess a part of me kind of hoped he might see it that way, so when I realized he was still wearing it even after we'd broken up, it made me feel happy. Maybe that's dumb."

"It's not dumb," he assured her. "You're right, it proves that Bakugo never stopped caring about you, even if he pretended that he did. I'm happy for you, Aisla, truly. I hated seeing you so upset and in pain. I'm really glad that you can be happy again."

I hope it works out this time, he silently prayed. I want her to be happy.

She gave him a grateful smile. "I am happy. Thank you for talking with me, and for not telling me what an idiot I am even if you secretly think so." Her eyes were twinkling with amusement, but Shoto kept his expression serious.

"I've never thought you were an idiot," he conveyed. "I think you're incredible. And despite his faults, Bakugo is an alright guy. He'll take care of you. And if he's not around to do it, then you know where to find me."

His phone chimed with a message, interrupting the moment. Aisla nodded toward the device sitting on the table. "Go ahead," she allowed.

He held the phone up to his face to unlock the screen, then tapped on the message. He smiled at the familiar picture that popped up in the bubble next to the message thread.

"FaceTime in ten?" she asked.

Shoto looked to Aisla as if for permission, but she was gazing thoughtfully out the window to her right. She looked so lovely just then, bathed in sunlight like an angel. Even as he thought that, another face popped into his mind in its place. Dark hair and tanned skin, and a smile that melted his heart each time he saw it.

"I'd love to," he responded.

Aisla looked over at him then and gave him a sweet smile. "Ready to go?"

He nodded and stood from his chair. He dropped Aisla off at her door, then went to his room and flopped into a chair. He took out his phone and pulled up the right app, then hit send. A moment later, her face appeared there, smiling that brilliant smile that brought one of his own right to the surface.

"Shoto," she greeted happily, "I've missed you."

His smile grew at these words. "Akina…I've missed you, too." I'm ready now, Akina. I'm ready to take the next step with you. "How would you feel about going on a date with me?"


A/N: Haven't seen things from Shoto's POV in a while, so I hope you all enjoyed that little peek into his thoughts! He'd kind of a mess, but maybe he'll start getting his act together now. And too bad for those of you who expected a smut chapter! Maybe next time XD

Reviews:

coldicyblueeyes: Aww thank you! I really liked that chapter, too! I was proud of how it came out. I'm happy to hear you enjoyed it!