In Nashville, Tennessee, Gen. Branigan got drunk as fuck at a ball full of elites. "If it doesn't burn going down, how do you know it's bad for you?" he asked a Tennessee Congressman. "I can't wait to see you both in Texas after the occupation has ended."
"Is it true that Texan men and women bathe together in the rivers?" one congressman asked.
"Cleanliness is next to godliness," Gen. Branigan smirked.
"Yes, well, I'm shocked and appalled," one of the congressmen said, leaving the scene.
"Ask for a transfer to Texas or lament later," Gen. Branigan recruited all those within earshot.
Mon-El then walked up to Gen. Branigan amused by him. "General, you seem to make friends wherever you go," he mocked.
"To Texas," Gen. Branigan declared.
"You got a war you can peddle to me?" Mon asked expectedly.
"Come to Texas and fight any Mexican there of your own choosing," Gen. Branigan said.
"Of my own choosing," Mon repeated intrigued. "I see continental governor aspirations in your future."
Mexico City
Brainiac 5 met with the Mexican military dictator, General Antonio Montana, for negotiations. "According to the Constitution of 2134, we own Texas," he insisted. "And we owned Texas prior to the illegal Mexican-American War before that."
"Queen Kara wants Texas to be in the American civilization zone and for Mexico to be in the Latin zone. In return for your loss in Texas, you will receive jurisdiction over Central America and the entire Caribbean," Brainiac 5 said.
"You must be joking. Texas is worth more than all of Mexico, Central America, and the Caribbean combined," General Montana protested.
"We're aware. All country sizes are based on equal GDP," Brainiac 5 said. "If we were to combine Mexico with all of Texas, your country would be too powerful."
"So, what if I were to completely destroy my country's economy? Then, I get more land?" Gen. Montana asked incredulously.
"In theory, yes, but you would be removed from your post," Brainiac 5 said obviously.
"Kicking the French out of my country was useless, then. I'm either an English puppet or a French puppet," Gen. Montana said disdainfully.
"We are all puppets to Her Majesty, who is neither English nor French," Brainiac 5 corrected.
"And what of the Mexicans still in Texas?" Gen. Montana asked.
"There are neither Texans nor Mexicans. We are all global citizens and where you live and settle is subject to where my system places you. You may be in Mexico one year, Texas the next year, and Australia the next year after that. You go wherever I need you to be according to your rank and expertise," Brainiac 5 said.
"My family has lived in Mexico for generations," Gen. Montana said, pissed off.
"I'm quite aware," Brainiac 5 said condescendingly. "The fact that I have allowed you to stay in Mexico and become its regional governor says much about my generosity and understanding."
"I'm invading Texas and taking our land back," Gen. Montana declared.
"This is a breach of contract. You and your army will be destroyed for this," Brainiac 5 predicted.
"I don't give a shit. Better to die on the battlefield than be your slave," Gen. Montana declared.
"I'm not sure your men feel the same way," Brainiac 5 said knowingly.
"You have incorporated Houston into your empire but not the western side of Texas. Nor have you incorporated Arizona, Colorado, and California yet. We will take these places before you do. Your empire will not fight over land you have not acquired yet," Gen. Montana figured.
"I find your naivety amusing," Brainiac 5 replied.
Texas
Lt. Col. Travis William was a Texan with high aspirations for higher office. But before he could do that, he had to ditch his soon-to-be ex-wife first. He met up with his soon-to-be ex-wife and his two children in his office. "The choices are abandonment, adultery, or domestic abuse," Travis said laying out the paperwork. As pope, Brainiac 5 had created a Christian protocol for divorce proceedings and then implemented them into his economic system. Divorce was relatively easy, but remarrying was impossible without the first marriage being properly annulled. For Travis, this wasn't really an issue as he intended to partake in whores for the rest of his remaining days.
"All of the above," his jilted ex-wife rolled her eyes.
"I'm putting down abandonment since that makes me look less like an asshole," Travis said and then finished the form.
"You sure you want to do this?" his ex-wife asked.
"We've already signed the papers," Travis reminded her.
"They can be revoked during the waiting period, ass," she reminded him.
"I'm good," Travis nodded.
"Well, we have a long way to travel," his ex-wife said and then took the two children away. As a full-time single mother, she would be given two ranks per child in addition to the default E-1 rank making her an E-5 Sergeant. As they left, Travis' daughter waved goodbye to her father in that sad adorable way. His son, on the other hand, just gave him a dirty look as he left with his mother.
Undeterred by family issues, Travis surveyed the fort in the middle of town that was once San Antonio. The city was in ruins, nearly wiped clean by the nuclear wars. However, the town's location was still strategically placed. Travis assumed the Mexican army would find it necessary to attack him in order to make their way to Houston.
In a bar, Travis scolded his men for drinking and whoring when they were supposed to be on duty. He ordered volunteers to do guard duty around the town. That night, two guards encountered Mon-El strolling towards the fort on foot. He was immediately surrendered by a Texas platoon. Mon put up his hands in mock surrender.
"It seems to me we should all be on the same side," Mon smirked.
"What are you doing out here?" the men asked.
"I'm Prince Mon-El and I'm here to help," Mon said sincerely.
Mon then became the life of the party as he came into town. "They even impeached me, but I still came out of it looking peachy." The crowd laughed amused at that. "You know what I told those fucks?"
"What did you tell them?" one asked.
"I told them they can all go to hell, I'm going to Texas," Mon replied.
"They say you're half-alligator, half snapping turtle, back can slide off a rainbow, and jump the Mississippi in a single leap, and you can whoop your weight in wildcat," one fan said.
"And so much more," Mon assured him.
"Mon-El, Prince of all Insane, Lion of the West," the fan continued. "I dare say Montana won't show his face now that you're here."
"Well, let's keep that a secret so that he does," Mon smiled.
For the rest of the night, Mon partied with the Texans, playing a violin as he did. At the same time, the civilian population knew what was up. They began evacuating the city immediately.
The next morning, several thousand Mexican troops marched toward the town. Travis overlooked the large army. "We'll never be able to defend this town," he realized. "Well...fuck it," he said believing his life had been a failure up to this point.
In his office, Travis had a discussion with Mon on the situation. "I need you to annihilate the Mexican army. I know you can do it," Travis said to him.
"I'm not here to win your wars. I'm here to empower heroism and passionate devotion," Mon told him.
"Then, we're fucked," Travis nodded.
"Let's not be too hasty about that. You have a well-defended fort here," Mon pointed out.
"I need more men. I'm outnumbered 25 times," Travis said dumbfounded.
"I like those odds," Mon smiled. "Look, if you all put up a good fight, I might intervene."
"Well, okay then," Travis said hopefully.
The Mexican army entered the town without resistance and surrounded the fort. Gen. Montana and his officer-staff were with him all clustered together in a single spot. The Texans fired a single cannon right at them nearly hitting them all. Gen. Montana freaked out on his officers and took off to a more secure location within the town. Inside his new office, Gen. Montana drank tea from expensive crystal like an elitist asshole.
"Is Kara with them?" he asked apprehensively.
"No," his officers shook their heads.
"She may come if only to salvage her reputation," Gen. Montana scoffed.
"Prince Mon-El is with them," one general pointed out.
"Mon-El, the bear-killer? Excellent!" Gen. Montana said amused.
That night, the Mexican army played annoying mariachi music to destroy Texan morale. When that didn't work, the Mexicans fired shells at the fort. The Texans fired back with more accurate fire scattering Mexican artillery. The two sides fired on one another for a few hours with minimal damage to either side. Mon didn't intervene aside from directing the Texans where to fire.
During the morning hours, the Mexicans moved their artillery slightly closer to the fort. Gen. Montana went about yelling at his artillery officers to move closer. "Move this battery forward!" he raged.
"With all due respect, Sir, Prince Mon-El is in that fort," the artillery officer said fearfully.
"You're afraid of Prince Mon-El?" Gen. Montana asked derisively.
"He can leap rivers in a single bound and his rifle never misses. He can shoot a fly off an ass' tail at 180 meters," the artillery officer continued.
Gen. Montana sneered at his artillery officer's concerns and walked right out into the open. "Move them here!" he ordered having no fear of anyone. Mon raised his index finger and fired at Gen. Montana slicing through his shoulder.
"Answer them!" Gen. Montana ordered after he had taken cover.
The Mexicans fired a lone missile into the fort's courtyard. The missile hit the ground and didn't explode, seemingly a dud. Travis went over the missile and bravely picked it up. The Texans watched in stunned amazement as he carried the dud over to the wall and then kicked it over the side. Even Mon was impressed by his badass bravery.
"Fire one from each cannon," Travis ordered.
The Texans were not inclined to follow. He was, after all, a deadbeat dad, divorced wife-beater, adulterer, debtor, and a general asshole. "You heard the colonel," Mon said in support of him.
The Texans fired artillery back at the Mexicans scattering their artillery positions and forcing them back towards better cover.
Metropolis
Congressional leaders read Travis's email on the floor. "I call on you in the name of liberty to come to our aid in all dispatch. If this call is neglected, I am determined to sustain myself as long as possible and die like a soldier who never forgets what is due to his own honor and that of his country."
"Gentlemen, Prince Mon-El is with them. There is no need to send an army to Texas," Kara assured the Congress. "He is more powerful than a million men."
Texas
The next day, Mexican infantry tested the Texan resolve by moving up toward the fort and firing volleys. Texan sharpshooters, in response, picked them off and then fired artillery cannons at them. The Mexican company then retreated from the scene. Mon then strolled out into the open to destroy the Mexican cover positions they had hastily made in the area. As he was about to destroy them, a few Mexican guards came out and fired on him. One beam missed Mon entirely. Mon fired his own rifle mortally wounding the first guard. The second and third guards were killed by Texan sharpshooters.
The first guard attempted to crawl away. Mon casually walked up to the wounded guard, looked for any signs of bravery in the young man, and then shot him to death. Mon then reentered the fort and greeted celebrating Texans.
To punish Texan audacity, the Mexican army played mariachi music for hours. The Mexicans and Texans then traded artillery fire for a few hours. That night, Mon told a group of Texans about his war stories. "In all your fighting, you ever been in a scrape like this?" one Texan asked him.
"I was in many scrapes throughout my life. You see, an Insane warrior squad is expected to conquer an entire planet on their own. When I was a child, I just did some scouting. We eventually came upon the enemy capital city. We surrounded them from all directions. It wasn't really much of a fight. We just shot them down like dogs. Finally, a group of them huddled into a fort like this one. They wanted to surrender but that wasn't our way. We set the fort on fire. We could hear them screaming for their gods. We smelled them burning. The next day, we went through the ashes and found some vegetables that had been cooked by the grease that ran off them. Then, we ate until we burst," Mon smiled at the memory.
"Holy shit, man," the Texans said stunned.
In the town, Gen. Montana was getting nervous. "Has Kara arrived?"
"Only a few cavalry scouts," his general said dismissively.
"I give her the opportunity to come, and she doesn't. What am I supposed to do?" Gen. Montana wondered out loud.
"Sir, they have Prince Mon-El. Should he intervene on their behalf, we're fucked," one general said.
"If he could, he would," Gen. Montana said dismissively.
"You don't know him like I do, Sir. He's toying with you," the same general said.
"Prince Mon-El will only fight if there is a fight. Send a message that everyone at the fort will be given amnesty if they leave," Gen. Montana ordered.
The next morning, Mon had a chat with Travis. "You know, those guys in Metropolis made good sport of me," he said resentfully. "I learned a lot from them. I learned how to dress to a certain degree. What fork to use in polite company, things like that. I was never afraid to stretch things like that a bit. But I never learned to lie," Mon lied.
"So?" Travis wondered.
"The men should know the truth," Mon told him.
Travis came out and met with all of his men. "I've been sent a shit-ton of emails from Metropolis and around the world that they support our mission here, but the American Army isn't arriving. I fear no one is coming. Texas has been a second chance for me. I expect that may be true for many of you here as well. It's been a place to be a different man. I hope a better one. There have been many ideas of what Texas should be and what it should become. We are not all in agreement. But everything you are willing to fight and die for, that's Texas," he began.
"The Mexican army hopes to lure us out to escape. Just about anywhere is better than this place. If, however, we force the enemy to attack, I believe every one of you will be worth ten in return. We will not only show the world what patriots are made of, but we also deal a crippling blow to the army of Montana. If anyone wishes to depart, you may do so now. You have that right but if you wish to stay here with me, we will sell our lives dearly," Travis declared.
That evening, Mon got a phone call from Kara. "Mon, you are to broker a peace between the Mexicans and those Texans you've been palling around with," she ordered.
"Peace? The fuck did I just hear?" Mon asked dismayed.
"Thousands of lives are at stake and all you have to do is assassinate Gen. Montana and order his army to leave," Kara said.
"Or, I can fight with these brave men in glorious battle," Mon countered.
"Mon, you're basically a god to these people. There's no thrill of battle for you. They can't really harm you," Kara pointed out.
"No, but I'm here to inspire these pathetic humans so they can earn glory and honor for themselves," Mon said obviously.
"I'm ordering you to negotiate a truce," Kara told him off.
"And you just said the magic words," Mon said as he hung up on her.
The Mexican army started playing mariachi music once more to torture the Texans. Frowning, Mon got out his violin and countered them with his own skills. Furious at being out-played, Gen. Montana ordered a total assault of the fort. The Mexican army bravely went forward knowing they were up against an Insane prince. The Texans, bravely, took up their positions willing to fight to the death.
In his war council, Gen. Montana faced some resistance from his officers. "We shall attack from the north, east, south, and west," Gen. Montana said as he pointed at a map.
"If the Insane prince unleashes his power, our soldiers are fucked," one general pointed out.
"What are the lives of soldiers...but so many chickens?" Gen. Montana said coldly.
"The fuck?" one general mouthed. "And if they surrender?"
"They are pirates, not soldiers. Take no prisoners," Gen. Montana ordered.
"There are rules and...," the general protested.
"I am the LAW!" he shouted. "My mission is to preserve our territorial integrity. For centuries, we have owned this land. Now, some alien bitch queen and her Insane dog take it away from us? It stops here! If it does not, our grandchildren and their grandchildren will suffer the disgrace of begging for scraps from the Americans...again. Without blood, without tears, there is no glory."
In the middle of the night, the Mexican army crept up on the fort. The Texan guards asleep on their watch were killed immediately. Mon awoke and sensed a disturbance outside. Seeing the Mexican army charging the fort, Mon fired his rifle at them waking up the entire fort. The fort became alive as the Texans fired from all directions at the approaching Mexican army. The artillery then went off blasting holes in Mexican company formations.
The Mexicans charged repeatedly and kept getting forced back from cannon fire. The Mexican volley fire was ineffective against the Texan walls. Ladders were then brought up against the walls, but the Mexicans suffered heavy casualties in the attempt to scale them. Suddenly, Travis was shot to the head, dead. Elite Mexican warriors took axes and tried to tear through the wall without effect.
A sizeable number of Mexicans amounted to get over the wall, forcing the Texans to use the available structures inside the fort for cover. Mon kept to his side of the wall firing every so often as the other side of the fort was being overrun. At this point, the cannons on the walls fired from both sides into the field and inside the fort. Mon attempted to lead the surviving Texans in a last defense. The Mexicans took control of all the cannons and started firing into the fort.
"They killed me," one Texan gasped as he was blasted by a cannon.
"A good death is its own reward," Mon told him as he died.
Finally, the last group of Texans charged the Mexican army and were cut down. The battle was over.
The next day, a few hundred Texans and a few thousand Mexicans were dead. In and around the fort were bodies everywhere. Mon was the only survivor on the Texan side as no one had surrendered. Mon looked slightly disheveled with blood and dirt all over his uniform. Gen. Montana gave Mon an unimpressed look now believing the stories of his power to be greatly exaggerated.
"If you wish to beg for your life, this would be the proper time," Gen. Montana said to Mon.
"I'm willing to discuss the terms of surrender if you tell your men to lay down their weapons and assemble peacefully. It'll save most of your men's lives, probably, maybe. That said, no promises," Mon said defiantly.
"I should surrender to you?" Gen. Montana asked incredulously. He then gave his men the kill order.
"Sir, I beg you to spare his life," a general requested knowing what could happen.
Gen. Montana was not inclined to agree. "I want to warn you all...I'm a screamer," Mon smirked. Gen. Montana signaled his men to go forward and stab Mon to death. Mon suddenly powered up to Super Insane and created a flash of light that annihilated the fort to dust and destroyed the entire Mexican army in an instant. The explosion encompassed the entire town wiping it off the map and then forming a mushroom cloud. When the light and dust had faded, Mon remained inside a crater. The blast was so powerful all of Texas heard it.
Metropolis
Kara and Brainiac 5 sat down with the Mexican ambassadors for talks. "Back in my day, Mexico's economy was 20 times smaller than that of America. I mean, if my pod landed in Mexico, I'd use my super-speed to get across the border within a millisecond," Kara began.
"Things have changed over the course of a thousand years, Your Majesty. Due to demographic changes and the debt collapse, the United States broke up into the Union and the Confederacy and Mexico was able to retake Texas and California. Then, all of our cities were nuked, and it's been a painful journey to rebuild," Mexican ambassador, Jose Conseco told her.
"No shit?" Kara nodded. "So, here's the deal. Your jurisdiction will be Central America and all of the Caribbean just to keep things simple. We're giving you the British possessions of the Bahamas, Jamaica, Belize, and American Puerto Rico. To the north, America will be split into twelve different countries of equal GDP to you, so you won't have a big brother to the North kicking your ass all the time."
"That's very generous but...," Jose said uncertainly.
"You'll renounce all claims to Texas, Arizona, and California," Kara ordered.
"What of travel between Mexico and America?" Jose asked.
"We're all citizens of the empire now. You may travel anywhere in the empire you wish. The issue, back in the day, was crime and jobs. As for crime, my way of doing things is getting results. As for jobs, everyone is assigned a job now. There's no commerce outside of my system because there's no currency. There's no competition for jobs because the system assigns everyone a job and where they will live. A person living in Mexico with a job in Mexico can easily transfer to America and vice versa," Kara explained.
"We will communicate this to my government in the most positive light," Jose agreed.
"Good," Kara smiled. Brainiac 5 then handed her a smartphone. She looked over it briefly and sighed. "God damn it, Mon."
"Problem?" Jose wondered.
"It appears your government is now gone," Kara said annoyed. "You know what? We can still salvage this. You're now in charge. Congratulations, you've won by default," she said to Jose.
Jose and the rest of the Mexican ambassadors then left the room stunned. Kara turned to Brainiac 5 with a tired look. "I feel Mon and I are not on the same page. Thousands are dead because he has no interest in politics or diplomacy. The blood of thousands is on my hands."
"There's no perfect science to conquering a world," Brainiac 5 allowed.
"At the very least, the dead will be honored," Kara said sadly.
Texas
Soon thereafter, Kara brought a large gathering of Texans and Mexicans to the battle site. All remains of the battle had been incinerated in the blast. Behind Kara was a church being built by Brainiac 5 drones and human workers. On a white horse, Kara looked over the crowd. "You will remember this battle and the men who died here. In remembrance of these brave men, a church shall be built on the spot where they fought for their country. And that church shall be called The Alamo," Kara declared.
