Chapter 47: Is It Over?: The Family

"What do you mean, Sam?" Katie asked as she bit her lower lip.

Sam stole a quick glance at her dad and Angela knowing that they had just started to scratch the surface of what was one of the most painful times in their family's history. Even though it was so long ago and had only lasted for a brief period, it affected all of them profoundly.

"Dad, Angela?" Sam asked softly. "We don't have to rehash all this if it's too much…"

"Honey," Tony said, interrupting her. "It's ok. I know you and Jonathan probably still have questions, or maybe we, or rather I, owe you a better explanation than what you got at the time. And, Katieface, this is part of our family's story, especially since it's what finally started your mom and me down the path of making you part of our family. If it's ok with you, Angela?"

Angela smiled weakly at Tony before saying, "It's ok. I'm not proud of how either of us acted back then. We were behaving like a couple of jealous and hormonal teenagers, but I recognize that this is an important chapter in all of our lives, even yours, Katie, for the reasons your dad has mentioned."

"Ok," Sam said. "Then, here's the way I saw it from my perspective…"

Sam's thoughts immediately flew back to the spring of 1990 when she first noticed a change in their family dynamic or, more specifically, a change in how her dad and Angela were interacting. Gone was the easy, slightly flirtatious, banter that had permeated the house almost from the first day she and her dad had moved in. It had been replaced by an uneasiness and formalness that only seemed to happen after her dad and Angela had a disagreement or one of their few fights. But, somehow, Sam could tell this wasn't that. It seemed more serious. After a few days, she decided that she couldn't take it anymore and confronted her dad as he came in the front door from school one afternoon.

"Dad, we need to talk," Sam said pointedly.

Tony sighed because he knew what Sam was going to ask. He and Angela were not doing a very good job of hiding their feelings, or rather it was more like they just didn't know how to "be" with each other now. He knew they were still friends, but he could no longer feel that undercurrent that always seemed to run between them as they were both conscious of not wanting to overstep their new boundaries whatever those actually were.

"Sam, wait, I know what you're going to ask," Tony said as he sat down on the couch and patted the spot next to him, indicating for Sam to sit. "I'm sure you and Jonathan have noticed that things between Angela and I have been a little off lately," he said, barely able to look at his daughter. "Nothing happened between us. It's just that I, well, I started seeing someone. Her name is Kathleen, and she's in my study group for my art history class."

"What?" Sam asked, her eyes growing wide. "What do you mean you're seeing someone? A college student who is close to my age? That's gross, Dad! And what about Angela? I guess you really did mean it, when we talked a few months ago, and you said that if things with you and Angela didn't work out, you could find companionship elsewhere."

"Sam," Tony said softly. "It's not that things with Angela didn't work out. They very well still could at some point, but now isn't that time. And Kathleen is an older student, like me, who decided to go back and give college a whirl. We have a lot in common from that perspective, and sometimes when you meet someone you have things in common with and enjoy talking to, you have to see where it goes."

"But you and Angela enjoy talking. I mean, you spend most nights on the couch or at the kitchen table talking about your day and who knows what else. Jonathan and I have both noticed how much more frequent that has become over the years," Sam said, giving her dad a look.

"I know, Sweetheart," Tony said, patting his daughter's knee. "And while things have changed, I suspect that Angela and I will find a new normal even if it's not that. We know we'll always be friends and that no matter what, we will always be family; all of us. You're grown up enough now to understand that things aren't just black and white. I don't know what is going to happen in the future, but this feels right for me right now. Can you understand that at all?"

"I guess so, Dad," Sam said as she shrugged. "I want you to be happy, so if this Kathleen makes you happy, then I will respect that. But I don't have to like it. Jonathan, Mona and I all know you and Angela belong together. We just wish you all could see it."

"We do, Sam," Tony acknowledged as he gauged how much to reveal to his very perceptive daughter. "That's not the issue. It's the fact that my friendship with Angela is the most important friendship of my lifetime, and anything beyond that is very complicated. She and I have both agreed that we don't ever want to lose what we have, so you'll just have to give us space to live our lives and figure it all out."

Sam's thoughts then flew to how uncomfortable things at the house remained after she and her dad had their heart-to-heart. That's when she started to think that she should begin looking for a summer job away from home. She just could not imagine a whole summer of watching her dad and Angela continue to act so blasé about their relationship and like what was happening was no big deal. First it had been her dad and Kathleen; now, it was Angela with Peter and then Christopher. It's like they were trying to prove to each other how happy they could be with someone else, but it was obvious that it was all for show and that, deep down, they were both miserable.

"That's why you went to New Mexico for the summer, isn't it?" Angela asked softly, bringing Sam back to the present.

"It is. I just had to get away," Sam said, looking down at her hands guiltily. "I saw a commercial on MTV about a company that was looking for young employees for a bunch of dude ranches it owned out west, and I couldn't resist."

"And what about you, Jonathan?" Tony asked. "Is that why you ended up back at your summer camp as a junior counselor?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry," Jonathan said, looking between Tony and his mom. "It was just too weird being at home. I mean, I even considered calling my dad to see if I could come stay with him and Heather for the summer. But then, I remembered camp and saw that I was old enough to be a junior counselor, and it all worked out."

"Jesus, Dad, was it worth it?" Katie asked, shaking her head at how this had turned her future family upside down. "And what about Mona? From what I know, she was the protagonist in trying to get you two together."

Angela's thoughts immediately jumped back to the day after everything happened with Tony, and they'd had that painful talk in her study. Angela knew she was acting strangely and that it was obvious that things between her and Tony were strained, so she wasn't completely surprised when her mother brought it up on the train on their way into the office that next day.

"Angela, I know what is going on between you and Tony," Mona offered as an opening.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Mother," Angela said, turning her head to look out the window.

"Angela, please," Mona said, rolling her eyes. "Even the kids can tell something is off. I had a chat with Tony yesterday, so I know about him and Kathleen," she said, spitting out her name.

"And I'm going to say the same thing to you that I said to him," she continued in her usual matter-of-fact style. "You and Tony may be on the road to something permanent, but you haven't exactly made a binding commitment to each other. Maybe you'll get there, but even if you don't, I know how much his friendship means to you and that you both want to preserve that above all else. And while I don't know exactly what has happened between you two over the years, I know it's enough that you'll never give each other up completely."

"Oh, Mother," Angela said, desperately trying to hold back her tears. "I just thought…I mean, we had this talk in Jamaica, yes, when you saw us making out on the bench, that he wasn't quite ready. He needed to figure out his future a little bit more, which he now has, but obviously, that's still not enough. Will anything ever be enough?"

In an uncharacteristic move, Mona took Angela's hand in hers before saying, "He's a man, Angela, and he's a man who is used to being and wants to be the provider; to take care of his family. And you and I both know he does that in so many ways, but he still can't see beyond the monetary aspect of it. So, he found someone who he could take care of, and I'm guessing, for now, it feels easy and freeing. Just give it some time. As you both know, a lasting relationship takes more than that. Just give him some space and let it play out, which I have no doubt it will."

"Mona always had the best advice," Sam said wistfully. "She could always see the forest for the trees, especially when it came to you two."

"So, did you and Dad just avoid each other during all of this? That's so sad considering how good of friends you were," Katie said, a tinge of sadness in her voice.

"Not exactly, Honey," Angela said as she thought about what had happened with Christopher and then when they went to visit Sam in New Mexico. Things became even more complicated during that trip; more so than the family even knew…