She missed the snow so much. And she knew that she would only miss him again. They were leaving. She looked dreamily over the walls at the snowy mountains. The snow was her lost childhood. Her life in the south was worse than hell for her.

"My Queen? Can I ask you something?" asked a gentle voice behind her. He snapped her out of her thoughts. She turned to see her older niece Sansa. She was the image of her mother. Same eyes, same hair. At a young age, Sansa was almost as tall as Lyanna. Sansa noticed that she startled her slightly.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean,"

Lyanna raised her hand, " That is alright, darling. Just don't do that again."

Sansa politely nodded her head. Then she remembered the reason why she was there.

"Mother said that we will leave for the capitol tomorrow. But I always wanted to ask you something, my queen. I know my grandfather and uncle died there. I can't sleep in the last few days. Please tell me more about our family! Father is always so quiet about it. What were they like? And why did they die? Please I need to know."

She had to notice her expression.

"Please, aunt Lyanna."

So my sins also affect my father's grandchildren.

"Why are you asking this, Sansa?"

"Because we are going to the place where they died. And I'm afraid of ghosts."

Lyanna had to smile, "Oh yes. Jon told me about his joke with flour. That was not nice of him."

But it was definitely funny. His personality is at least a little like mine. I'm afraid of ghosts too, my dear. Well, those who are dead because of me. I don't run away when I see them, but I fall on my knees and beg for their forgiveness.

Sansa nodded.

So Lyanna told her the truth. Well, the truth which she could tell her. How she was kidnapped, and how her brother risked his life to save her. How their father risked his life to save him. And they both died. Because of her. They were executed by Aerys Targaryen "the Mad King."

By my father-in-law. One of my son's grandfathers killed the other one. Because of my heart. Because I loved the last dragon.

Her brother was the only man brave enough to ride for the capital and scream for the Crown Prince to go outside and die.

Or naive. His anger clouded his mind. Just like love clouded my own.

Her niece Sansa was a lady who Lyanna could never be. At a young age, she had the upbringing of a fine woman. It reminded her of the time she spent in Riverrrun, her father told her to behave more like Catelyn. Lyanna, why can't you be more like Catelyn? Gods, how she hated her good sister-in-law then.

Lord Rickard Stark wanted her to be Lady. Lady wouldn't fall for the Crown Prince. Well, maybe she would but she wouldn't run off with him. She knew that her father would love to have a grandchild like Sansa. She was more southern than northern. Her father had such southern ambitions. He wanted to break his house from old traditions. This was the reason for the planned marriage between Brandon and Catelyn. And her own. If only. Lyanna put her palm on the cheek of her red-headed niece.

"You would be your grandfather's favorite grandchild. I can assure you." Sansa smiled. She was a sweet child, although a little proud and naive. Well, how could she judge?

"Thank, my queen. This is a great honor for me."

"Sansa, you can call me aunt Lyanna when it's only two of us. I am not much of a formality." Niece slightly frowned. It probably went against everything that her septa had taught her. Well, Lyanna was never good with rules. Or with septas. She almost threw her old one down the stairs while running to her horses. Father was so furious. Her younger self was a wild wolf. But the death of her love killed her inside. And the wedding with his murderer buried her alive. Her son was her only light in this darkness. If it wasn't for him, she would have left this world to be with Rhaegar a long time ago. Sometimes she doubted that she lived at all.

"Do you miss them, aunt Lyanna?"

Her heart sank. Her hands were soaked in their blood. And she had to deny it for her son.

"I miss them every day, Sansa. Every single day. Just like your father. That's why he doesn't talk about it. It's hard to talk about such things. It hurts a lot."

"Thank you for telling me this, Lyanna. Your father and uncle Brandon loved you very much. It's a pity that I never met them. They were real knights like those from the songs."

"Indeed, they were. Sansa would you go and your sister pack her things? I think she could use some help." Arya was her when she was young. Lyanna overheard an argument with Catelyn. It was about her packing.

And I was a monster who should have her head cut off. I killed my kin.

"Of course, aunt Lyanna. And thank you, again."

This summary of history reminded Lyanna of something. The last conversation with her father.

"I don't want to marry him!" screamed the young she-wolf. But her father was a wolf as much as she was.

"You have to, Lyanna! Late lord Baratheon and I made a deal. I did that for your good. You will be a great lady one day."

All the anger that she had been carrying inside for years was manifested. She kept it inside for so long. But Rhaegar gave her unknown strength. She could do this.

"You did this for your ambitions! You never carried what I wanted! What Benjen wanted, what Ned wanted, or what Brandon wanted!"

"Don't bring your brothers into this! Your brother is perfectly happy with his future wife. Catelyn is a true lady! Something you could never be! When will you grow up Lyanna? You are not a child anymore!"

She came closer to her father. Her face was burning. If she would be a real wolf, she would growling.

"I will never marry Robert. Never! You can't make me!"

Her father grabbed her elbow. It hurt but she didn't show it.

"I am your father. Your lord, and warden of the north. You will do what I said to you."

She wriggled out of his grip. Her elbow hurt, but she refused to be weak.

"I hate you! I wish you had died instead of my mother! At least, she loved me!" Her mother died during cold winter a few years ago. Lyanna missed her every day.

There was pain on the father's face. But Lyanna was already running away from him. She never turned around.

And they were never together again. That was the last thing she said to him. The father died watching his first son die. He died knowing his children were in danger. And he knew he couldn't save them. He had a horrible death. The terrible feeling when you can't do anything for your children. She knew him very well.

For years she wished she could take it back. Well, it doesn't work.

Lyanna watched her leaving niece. Sansa was determined to accomplish her task. But she bumped into someone at the corner. Ned. Without a thought, and no doubt influenced by her horrible stories, her little niece wrapped her arms around her father's waist. Ned looked surprised but returned a tight hug to his daughter. Gently, he kissed her on her forehead. Regardless of age, to a wolf, his pups are always pups. Lyanna felt tears in her eyes.

She owed her brother a lot. And so she fulfilled his wishes. She didn't approach Jon at all. It wasn't very difficult because her son avoided everyone. It was torture for her. Those few moments with him showed her that she still lived. When they went hunting together, it was as if the years had passed. Again, she felt like that girl who was stronger than men. Although the Frey men were more weasels than men. She was thankful every day that she didn't have to marry any of them. Although Robert was more of a buffalo than a deer. Even the years had not weakened his hatred for Rhaegar and his family. No one knew how Princess Elia and her children managed to escape. But they fled to Dorne, to her brothers. They refused to hand her over to the new king.

Robert was furious, "The dragon seed must die for justice to take place. My wife is barren because of that monster! And his seed is walking around the world!"

His anger confirmed to her that her fear was justified. That didn't stop him from being with whores. Even during her rescue, he spent time in brothels. Lyanna did well to give up Jon. He was safer with her brother. She could trust Ned. Jon Arryn had to use all his knowledge to talk the king out of the war with Dorne. It also helped that Prince Rhaegar annulled their marriage. The kids were basically bastards. That saved their lives.

Lyanna didn't even know about it. Rhaegar never spoke to her about it. But she was deeply touched that her lover wanted her son to rule all the kingdoms. He called him "The Prince who was promised." She didn't understand it then.

Well, now I do. Jon was all Rhaegar in his blood. Maybe even with the heart. She didn't know. She was afraid to know.

There was some truth in Robert's anger. She has never had a period since the birth of her son. Her body seemed to be burned from the inside. She never forgot that pain, as if her stomach was burning from the inside. She thought she was going to die because there was so much blood.

"Save my child," said to her midwives who were helping her, "No matter what it takes, save my baby. Don't care about me! The child has to live."

She couldn't lose another part of her love. The only thing he left her here. She would rather die with him. But she was so tired. Her blood was all over the bed. It had been almost a day and a half since her birth. Something was wrong.

"My lady, I promise you, your child shall survive. But you have to fight,"

No, they were lying. She was saying and so was her baby. Suddenly her eyes went dark. Was she dead?

Suddenly, a dragon appeared in front of her. He looked so familiar. His eyes were purple. His scales were silver. Before she could speak, the dragon opened its mouth and poured fire at her. That's when she woke up. And her strength was back.

"Thank the gods. My lady, we thought that we had lost you. Please you have to push! Push!" said her midwife desperately.

And so she did. And then she saw him. And he saw her. Her Aegon. Her son. The midwife put him right on her chest. On her heart.

"You have all of my heart, little one. All of it."

The child quieted his crying a little when the mother touched him. Her son recognized her even though he was still blind from the amniotic fluid.

She never wanted the throne. She wanted a man who loved her. And she wanted her son. Bold wishes for a woman of her stature. Still, she followed the advice of her brother. Ned promised to her to make Catelyn agree willingly to let Jon stay. But she felt her good sister-in-law watching her. Her feelings were gurt from her honest conversation. But instead, Lyanna spent more and more time with her nieces. She noticed a slight change in Sansa from the moment she told her about the fate of her father and brother. Sansa spent more time by her father's side. Although he was with Arya, who the little lady sometimes found hard to bear. Sisters.

"Are you all right, Sansa? Did something happen? asked Ned to his eldest daughter. He had a worried look on his face. Sansa just squeezed his hand.

"All is well, father. Thank you. I'm just glad you're here."

"Where else should he be?" asked a little she-wolf Arya. Lyanna felt like looking into a mirror. Her second niece was just like her. During their hunting, Arya showed her all the secret hiding places. All her secret tricks.

"You are a pup with a sharp mind, arent you?" asked smilingly Lyanna. With Arya, it will definitely be more lively in the capital. It was a curious creature.

Her niece happily nodded.

"It will be fun with you in the south, aunt. I'm glad, you are not an ordinary lady from the south. Those are so boring."

Lyana leaned towards her," You mean like your mother?"

Her niece energetically nodded. Then they both laughed.

I should stop. That's not nice. I wouldn't like it if someone slandered me in front of my son. Speaking of which...

"Arya, where is Jon?" asked the older she-wolf. Ned gave her a warning look while Sansa was still holding his hand.

"He's out on the practice field. He is somehow angry all day. He didn't even want to play catch with me. Not even when Bran called him."

I think I know the reason.

She started to get up.

"Lyanna," said to her Ned. She pierced him with a look.

"This may be my last chance to speak with my nephew before we leave. And no matter that, the king doesn't need me right now," said while looking at Robert talking with some Northern woman with a large breast.

No reason to wait for you tonight. Thanks to Gods

She strode across the banquet room with long strides. Everyone bowed to her. Even the oldest women bowed their heads. She hated it. She only wanted to be a mother, not the mother of the whole kingdom. It was still not a habit for her. But she had a nailed smile on her face. It was part of her game.

It wasn't hard to find Jon. She heard him from the moment he stepped outside the door. The hollow echoes of someone striking a tree with a sword. He didn't notice her coming. His face was full of suppressed anger.

"Is it dead yet?" asked with a loud voice. He immediately stopped and turned to her. Her son truly looked like a pureblood Stark. That was both his blessing and his curse. The sword fell from his hand. Those blows made him dull.

"You need a new sword, Jon." He bowed to her without answering.

"Forgive me, my queen. I didn't notice you."

She hated when he bowed to her. He was of royal blood, not her. Well, she took those rights away from him. Because she had to. Because he couldn't live otherwise.

"I told you during the hunt that you don't have to do that. And Jon. I know what happened. What father told you about Nights Watch."

She noticed that he had clenched his fists. He turned away from her. She knew what he was doing. He didn't want her to see his tears. She did this after every fight with her father. She stepped closer and put her hand on his shoulder.

"Jon, your father won't let you join there, for your own good. The watch is full of convicted murderers and thieves. This is no place for a young man like you. Your uncle joined when he was much older than you. When he already knew love and fight."

Her son angrily hit the fence with his hand.

"You don't understand. There my life could be of the same use. It would matter. What am I here? Just the bastard of honorable man, there I could become a man of the Night's Watch!"

She let him talk. He had a right to be angry. Scream his anger at her.

"Jon, your life already matters. To your father, your siblings, your uncle, and me. Does our love mean so little to you? You are so loved, Jon."

He looked at her through tears. He probably wasn't used to such words. Ned tried but he wasn't his mother. Her brother did the best he could, but every child deserves a mother. She looked around. No one was here but them.

"Come here," said while opening her arms. He hugged her back uncertainly. It was strange for him to hold a woman like that. He didn't know many hugs from his mother. She stroked his wild hair. He's always had them so dark since he was born. Jon rested his head on her shoulder. They were like two lost souls. Unwanted, lonely. They stood motionless together.

"Aunt Lyanna can I go with you?" asked after while Jon. She was not prepared for this question. She wanted it. She wanted it so badly. But they couldn't, that would be a dream, and she couldn't believe in dreams anymore. Ever since her father and brother died, she had no dreams. How could a murderer of her own blood dream? Years have taught her.

The capital was a nest of vipers waiting for an opportunity. As Tywin Lannister for the first years of their marriage, he tried to convince Robert to reject her and accept his daughter Cersei. Unfortunately, Robert always refused. Well, it was a golden cage full of spies. One wrong word, one crossword...

"That wouldn't be a good idea, Jon."

"Because I am a bastard,"

"Because you belong to the North. No person who is born in the north will find peace in the south. Trust me, I know. Your siblings are young and can learn. But I grew up here. I would give up everything to stay here."

Jon squirmed in her arms.

"But father,"

"Father will have my advice. But believe me, it will be difficult for him. In the south, you sometimes have to put your honor aside."

She held him for a while longer. She didn't want to let him go. It's her baby boy. She had to use all her strength to pull away. Like years ago when she put him in her brother's arms. They looked into each other's eyes. Something in him knew it. She felt it. Like when he was born. Her single touch calmed him. She put her palms on his cheeks.

"You are my blood. My nephew has a reason to live. And you don't need Night's Watch for it. Trust me. One day, I will return here and I want to see you here. You belong here. The North is your home."

And you are my home. My son. No matter what others call you, or how far apart we are. You are mine. You will always be my son.