A/N: I think I have to thank both split-n-splice and gothicthundra for help with this one. Often my best ideas come from friends. Enjoy some evil family silliness.

Henchmen: Bobby belongs to split-n-splice, Hector belongs to GT, Jameson is mine, and the other two named are canon.

Heads up that the next prompt is giving me trouble... Because I know exactly what I want but my brain isn't cooperating in terms of getting my fingers to write it. So if it doesn't show up, that is why.

15. Jack-o'-lantern


Shego held her gloved hand out in front of her and looked at her nails. They were never perfectly even and it was a source of constant distraction. She sighed and pulled the nail file from the pouch on her calf to shave off a few more millimeters, when Drakken's voice startled her.

"Shegooo," he sang from the platform where he and the henchmen all sat at round, portable tables. "It's time to check on our progress!"

Shego sighed internally and uncrossed her ankles from where she'd had her heels resting on the laser table. She knew Drakken was just trying to keep her 'involved' in the evil family Halloween party, but judging the pumpkin carving contest wasn't her idea of fun. But then again, participating in it herself was the alternative, so she supposed she shouldn't complain.

The lab was filled with the sickening scent of under-ripe pumpkin with piles of seeds in the center of each table, while a mixture of grumbling, squabbling, and even compliments were the backdrop to the new annual scariest jack-o'-lantern contest.

Shego looked at the timer and saw that a mere three minutes were left on the clock, and she felt her entire frame relax in relief. The next event was bobbing for apples, and that was one she actually didn't mind. Especially since it was a partner contest and she was, of course, paired with Drakken.

She approached the nearest table where Lars was scowling down at his pumpkin, Lutz sat grinning happily at his, and Hector was slumped down in defeat looking very distracted.

"Okay Lars," Shego said, feigning interest with a small grin. "What have you got?"

The burly henchman grunted in dissatisfaction, and Shego leaned around him to see an absolutely decimated pumpkin. One one side, there was a gaping hole, but carved crudely in the shape of none other than Drakken's head. The other side was worse, with jagged holes in an attempted outline of her boss's silhouette with stereotypical triangle eyes and buck-toothed grin. It was a curious amalgamation of themes that caused her to force her smile. She cleared her throat in lieu of cringing.

"Dr. Drakken was the scariest thing I could think of, but he's not easy to carve," Lars said in a pathetic plea for mercy.

"Well, it's...definitely on theme," she said, unable to come up with anything else. "Uh...Hector, what's wrong?"

She moved around the table to where the lanky man was slumped down, his smaller pumpkin sitting finished but with minimal effort having been put in. He had carved out tiny silhouettes of Drakken and herself in an excellent likeness, but that was all.

"I was gonna carve all of us," he said, giving a broad gesture around the room, "but all I can think now is how much work it's gonna be to clean all this up."

"Uh... Hector why don't you take a break and, uh...have some punch. A lot of punch," she suggested, recalling how the spiked beverage stung her throat on the way down. "Lutz...?"

The portly henchman was leaning forward on the table, his cheeks in his hands as he stared adoringly at his pumpkin creation.

"Isn't it perfect?" he said with a happy sigh.

Shego stepped around behind him to find that he too had carved Drakken's face, but with an opposite approach to Lars. He had carved out narrowed eye holes, a grinning mouth, Drakken's scar and uni-brow, and then scraped away some skin of the pumpkin to be the outline of his face and hair. It was a strange combination of cute and menacing, and Shego found her lips curling upward the longer she looked at it.

"Fearsome," she commented with a chuckle.

She moved on to the next table, which was where Drakken sat with a few other henchmen. Jameson was waving at her with a childlike grin, and she crossed her arms on her way to see what he had deemed scariest for the contest. Already she could see the man had thought outside the box, as he had a smaller pumpkin stacked atop his first.

"Look at my pumpkins," he boasted proudly as she approached, and when she rounded the table her eyes widened.

He had also gone for a silhouette of Drakken, this one though with the carving around the outside so the light would shine around his shape. This was in the smaller pumpkin, and on the larger below, Jameson had carved the image of their Caribbean lair. With candles she could tell it would look like a giant form of Drakken would be standing atop the lair at night.

"Very scary, wouldn't you agree?" he said with a proud grin and a wink.

"Uh...yeah," she said, wondering why every single one of them had decided that Drakken was the scariest thing they could think of. "How about you Bobby?"

She quickly stepped around the table to where the younger man was leaning in close to his pumpkin with narrowed eyes.

"Bobby?"

"Oh, sorry. What do you think?"

Shego blinked. Rather than carving, as were the rules of the contest, he had painted on his pumpkin...none other than she and Drakken. They were incredible likenesses, and the scene had Drakken seated triumphantly in a throne with she leaning on his shoulder, both grinning wickedly.

"I'm gonna apply for official portrait painter after we take over the world!" Bobby whispered to her confidentially, admiring his work as he dropped the paintbrush in a cup of water.

A sudden rising of voices caught everyone's attention, and Shego turned to a third table where two of the henchmen had stood and were facing off, apparently in argument over their pumpkins.

"Mine's scarier!"

"No mine's scarier!"

"I carved all of him!"

"Yeah, and you can't even see his face for how tiny it is!"

Shego glanced at the two pumpkins as the men argued and saw...more carvings of Drakken. She was beginning to feel very bewildered. How was Drakken the scariest thing any of them could think of? Especially with herself as an option. She felt a little relief that she featured in two of the pumpkins so far, but...really?

"Oh Shego," Drakken sang out smugly.

Shego ignored the escalating fight and turned to where he was leaned back in his chair, hands up behind his head and a grin on his face. She held her breath and stepped around to his side of the table. If he hadn't carved her...

She stopped short and blinked.

"You didn't carve anything."

"Not yet."

Shego glanced at the timer. "There's twenty seconds left in the contest."

She knew without saying anything that he had to be up to something, and as the pair of squabbling henchmen came to blows she knew she should at least toss a threatening blast to break up the fight. But the accomplished look on Drakken's face had her growling in frustration as he simply grinned up at her.

"How can you carve a pumpkin in—!?"

Her question was interrupted by Drakken pushing a button on a remote he'd had hidden in one hand. She watched as the laser above the table where she'd been sitting filing her nails swiveled on its hydraulic arm and pointed directly at Drakken's pumpkin. She stepped back as the laser whined and in seconds, a masterful photo-realistic carving of none other than Drakken's face appeared on the pumpkin, completed seconds before the timer dinged.

"I hope everyone has finished their carvings!" Drakken sang happily, his grin immovable as he looked at what had clearly been programmed in advance into the laser. "Now Shego...let's turn off the lights so you can judge."

She took a breath to reply, and then narrowed her eyes at the scene around them. All of the henchmen were now either egging on the fight, trying to break it up, or protecting their own pumpkins, Bobby and Lutz the two most concerned with the latter.

"Eh... Sorry Dr. D., but I don't think anyone wins this one."

Drakken gasped in affront. "But...Shego, just look at my carving!"

She looked. It was indeed excellent, with his eyes narrowed just so and his grin broad and vicious. In the dark and with a candle it would look quite fearsome and probably was the scariest in the room.

"Yours doesn't count."

"Doesn't count!?"

"You cheated."

Drakken stood and crossed his arms. "There's no rule about not using lasers, Shego."

She mirrored his posture, smirking as his frown deepened.

"Yeah, well I'm the judge and I say no lasers."

Drakken was about to protest some more, but a loud thunk followed by a suctioning sound and a chorus of gasps drew their attention to where one of the fighting men had just plonked a pumpkin onto the head of the other. Shego rolled her eyes and looked back to Drakken, who was taking a step back, his expression souring at a certain memory.

"Come on, let's just break this up and move on to bobbing for apples anyway."

"But, Shego..."

"It's easier to get them when we go for the same apple together, you know," she said, looping her arm through one of his and starting to pull him away.

Drakken's frame fell in a sulk, but then he straightened, a light coming to his eyes.

"Perhaps...perhaps we should let the men work this out on their own and...practice our strategy," he suggested, giving her a cautious yet hopeful look.

Shego chuckled. "You read my mind."