Round 2
Master Chief vs. Jak and Daxter
The two match graphics were eerily similar. Chief and Jak cocked guns, glaring at the camera, while Cortana and Daxter blew raspberries at the camera.
"Master Chief," began Jak, "Of all the people here, outside of my Battle Royale colleagues, you're the one I respect the most. You are a one-man army of war, fighting for what's right and…"
"Blah blah blah!" Daxter cut him off, "You ain't nothing but an overhyped tin can!"
"I respect Jak greatly," Master Chief's interview cut in, "But I do not doubt that varmint he keeps on his shoulder is saying some unkind things about me."
"I could do that too," Cortana piped in.
"You'd just do it anyway," grumbled Chief.
"You know me so well Chief," squealed Cortana, "Anyway, what's with the goatee? Pre-planetary exploration rock n' roll called, it wants its look back."
"And Master Chief is such a bastion of personality," came Daxter's edited in quip, "I think he's said all of three words. But hey, at least me an' Jak are in relationships with total babes. When's the last time you talked to anyone that wasn't your computer huh?"
"And your weasel is annoying, and your weapons are lame. And you have magical armor! Pffft, how cheap!" Cortana ranted.
"But none of that matters," Chief interrupted, "All that matters is finishing the fight."
"None of this shit matters," Jak's interview concluded, "All that matters is advancing.'
Now, Cranky and 9-Volt were on the screen.
"A delicate duet of can-do attitude and trash talk for this next match," 9-Volt explained.
"Since when did you get so good at alliteration boy?" Cranky guffawed.
"I'm not you with your senior citizen crowing, I don't do it every intro,"
Cranky grumbled unintelligibly in response.
"Alright, Futaba, who do you think is advancing?"
"This is a battle I've been looking forward to since the brackets got announced, " excitedly squealed Futaba, "This is Playstation vs Xbox, the debate of many a playground in the mid-2000s, so older folks on the internet tell me. I've gotta go against my Japanese homies on this one and vote for Master Chief."
"Alright, there you have it," 9-Volt concluded, "Let's throw it on down to entrances,"
The chanting of Halo played over the speakers, as people all over the stadium as well as the commentators joined in. Driving a Warthog, Master Cheif drove down to the arena, Cortana saluting the cheering crowd.
The epic orchestral music gave way to a bouncy tropical theme. As the theme of Jak and Daxter played, the duo flew out on a hoverboard, Daxter waving to the cheering crowd.
The similarities between the two duos became apparent again as the introductions occurred. Both Jak and Master Chief remained stoic, while Cortana and Jak were the ones to pose for their adoring fans. The goofiness ended when the big screen flared to life. Cycling through stages, it landed on Pilotwings!
"Oh boy yes," cheered 9-Volt, "It's gonna be like Chun-Li vs. Master Chief, just a straight-ahead firefight."
"You bet your bottom dollar kiddo," Cranky agreed.
The two gunslingers disappeared.
Stage: Pilotwings
Rules: 3-stock, items medium
Music: Tetris Type A
3
Master Chief appeared atop a Warthog.
2
After doing a kickflip aboard a hoverboard, Jak snapped into his stance, Scatter Gun at the ready.
1
Both fighters loaded their weapons.
GO!
Jak immediately replaced his Scatter Gun with his standard issue Blaster, while Master Chief whipped out his Needler. Bullets flew as the two advanced on one another. As the two met at the center of the prop plane, it tilted to the right. Jak's Blaster angled upward, allowing Master Chief to pepper in free shots.
"It looks like this'll be more of a challenging arena to fight on for both Smashers than they experienced last round,"
"Good and challenging. Just how we did it in the old days. These kids would do well to learn."
Jak executed a spinning punch, which jarred the Chief. Whipping out his scatter gun, Jak fired, the wide red blast staggering the Marine ever further. Jak was suddenly cracked in the jaw from a sucker punch by Master Chief, and then another. Chief produced his Gravity Hammer and swung it, only for Jak to parry. Similarly, Jak attempted a sliding punch, only for Master Cheif to counter that. Scatter Gun and Rocket Launcher blasts connected, sending both of them to opposite sides of the stage. Again, both men charged towards the middle Jak's Blaster and Master Chief's Assault Rifle at the ready. Before either could pull the trigger, the plane underneath them flew away, depositing them onto the roof of a simple red plane. At that moment, Master Chief underhand threw a frag grenade, causing Jak and Daxter to backpedal as it exploded. When the smoke cleared, Chief was nowhere to be seen. That only lasted for that instant, as Master Chief rocketed up from the lower set of wings on their new battleground, a biplane, crashing into Jak and Daxter. A Megaton Hammer blow spiked the duo back down. Chief jumped into the air, readying his sniper rifle. However, in the moment of pause Chief took to double-check his aim. Jak stood, unsheathing the Peacemaker. The blasts of armament whizzed past each other, scoring directly on their targets. Both warriors were shot toward their nearest Blast Zone.
Master Chief: 2
Jak and Daxter: 2
"DOUBLE KO!" called 9-Volt.
"Mirroring the Sandover Village duo's match with Ratchet and Clank. From the looks of things both of our competitors are pissed off," added Cranky, "Look!"
The combat arena was now a simple prop plane, the duo's journey to the middle of the arena was unimpeded. What started as a trade of punches ascended to another level when Master Chief pulled out his energy sword, slashing Jak across the chest, and sending him to his knees.
"I suppose you won't take the offer to stand down either?" asked Chief.
Jak smiled wryly, "Not in your life."
With that, he revealed a Vulcan Fury. The first 10 blasts took an unsuspecting Chief off his guard, but the soldier retreated, pulling out his Needler. Purple and blue blasts of energy rocked the arena, each hero of their respective universe taking the beating full on.
"It's like I said," 9-Volt reminded the audience, "It'll be a full-on assault, last man standing type of situation.
Eventually, the two began to advance. Chief swung again with his Graviton Hammer, Jak parrying it once again. Once again, sniper and Peacemaker made their appearances, both Smashers jumping out of the way of each other's fire. More Vulcan Fury and Needler blasts flew across the arena.
"They're at it again!" wailed 9-Volt
This time, when they got close enough. Jak pelted Master Chief with the Scatter Gun yet again, and then another blast. Much as he had earlier, Chief staggered, allowing Jak the time it took to charge and fire another Peacemaker blast, leaving the soldier defenseless. A sliding punch sent Master Chief to the Blast Zone.
"And Jak nets the stock with a change up!" announced Cranky.
Master Chief: 1
Jak and Daxter 2
Unlike so many other departures from the Revival Platform in this series of matches, Master Chief stood atop the Revival Platform, leering down at them.
"Whaddya think they're waiting for?" Daxter asked Jak.
The plan dipped from underneath them. Then Master Chief struck, slamming his Energy Sword onto his airborne opponent. Jak and Daxter bounced off the plane. From mid-air, Master Cheif grabbed them, sticking a Plasma Grenade to both of them, and tossing them with a discus throw. The grenades exploded, and they were sent easily to the Blast Zone.
Master Chief: 1
Jak and Daxter: 1
Jak and Daxter stepped down from the Revival Platform, Peacemaker in hand. Similarly, Master Chief readied his sniper rifle. The two blasted one another with their respective weapons, both stunned. Then they both shot at one another again, stunning each other. Slowly, they made their way to the center point of the plane's roof taking blasts the whole way.
"Neither of 'em are backing down!" crowed Cranky, "This is incredible!"
For what seemed like the umpteenth time this match, they found themselves in striking distance of each other. Chief readied his Megaton Hammer, once again parried by Jak.
The flip kick caught Jak by surprise, jetted into the air with Master Chief's 360-degree backflip. Pulling out his sniper rifle. Chief aimed a final shot at Jak, sending him to the Blast Zone!
GAME!
Master Chief cocked his trusty Assault Rifle.
"I need a weapon," he growled.
MASTER CHIEF WINS!
As Jak stood, arms crossed indignantly, Mister Zero poked his head in, microphone in hand.
"What-"
Jak shoved Mister Zero away.
"Yeah, we only give interviews to the credentialed press," Daxter shouted as Jak walked up the tunnel, "Loser!"
Rita appeared on screen next.
"I'm here with the first Smasher to qualify for the third round three-way, the great Master Chief. Can you walk us through your process?"
As Rita stood on her tip-toes to get the microphone anywhere near Chief's hulking frame, he suddenly hissed, "It's not polite to make fun of short people Cortana."
Master Chief cleared his throat
"Jak is an expert at gunplay, but his moves are too static. It was simply a matter of enduring and waiting for when I could throw a curveball into the proceedings."
Cortana's holographic form jutted out of Master Chief's helmet, "See? I knew you'd nail this interview thing if you gave it a shot. You're way more charismatic than you give yourself credit for!"
Chief only grunted, walking up the tunnel. When he arrived, the first thing he found was Jak and Daxter with their hands extended among the applause.
"Good fight sir," Jak said.
"Give 'em hell Chief, and that's an order!" shouted Daxter
Master Chief shook the hands of both his fallen opponents, "I agree, good fight."
"Alright!" barked Otis, "Dante, Vergil, you're up."
"Aw hell yeah!" cheered Travis, "The real main event! Give 'em hell Dante,"
"Thanks, Trav," Dante nodded, the two high-fiving as they made their way to the center of the room. Dante extended a hand to the scowling Vergil.
"Give it your best out there bro," he said.
Vergil silently turned, skulking down Tunnel B.
Dante shrugged, "Shoulda known,"
He took a few steps down Tunnel A, a motorcycle revving and peeling off echoing down the steep tunnel into Smash Stadium.
