Meeting GiGi in that airport was like a a rainbow after the storm. After we graduated, Nina and I moved to Los Angeles with an assistant to the art dealer job in my back pocket, a signing bonus, and a brand new freedom I'd never experienced before.

Being back on the West coast was what I needed. The hustle is different in LA than it is in New York. Los Angeles lets people follow whatever whim they're feeling and people can go after it because it's a matter of what you're feeling. New York is all about the hustle, what will get you to the next step.

GiGi has two assistants: me and a girl named Erica. We were never around at the same time, so I didn't get to spend much time with her. I was her in office assistant, Erica was her traveling assistant. Yes, that's a real job.

Being a working girl was totally chill. I always had everything under control.

Except when I was about to go out of town for two weeks. "I'll have my cell on me, so you can call me for whatever you need," I told GiGi as I followed her around the gallery. "I've updated your calendar for the next two weeks. You have that meeting with the Canadian artist on Wednesday at 2; I've already printed his dossier for you. It's on your desk."

"Uh huh."

"I also booked your flight to Miami for Friday. You have to be at LAX at 10:30 sharp. Here's your booking information," I handed her a bunch of paper clipped papers. "And your packing list. And the address to the hotel in Miami. Erica and I already arranged for a black car on the other side. But just in case, here's the Uber log in information and I may have already downloaded it on your phone."

"Jesus, girl," she laughed.

"Speaking of phones, I had the office phone calls forwarded to my cell phone. I've already done your expenses, just to get ahead of schedule. And you have a lunch tomorrow at 12:30. Is that it? I think that's it. Oh! I—"

"Leah!" GiGi interrupted. "Take a breath. I do know how to take care of myself. I haven't always had assistants, remember?"

"I know," I said, blushing. "I'm just feeling…"

"Anxious. It's ok, I get it. But it's only two weeks. You'll have a great time," she reassured me. "What time is your flight?"

"In a few hours. I thought I would have time to reorganize the files from last month, but I ran out of time."

"Oh, noooo," she said sarcastically. "Whatever will we do without the files being reorganized?"

I rolled my eyes. "You're making fun of me."

"Because you're being ridiculous. Please go. And have fun."

I sighed. "I'll try."

GiGi turned me toward the door by my shoulders. "There's nothing a bottle of champagne can't fix. Everything is taken care of here. And I'm un-forwarding the office calls to your phone. You are on vacation, I mean it."

"But—"

"Bye," she grinned before placing me right outside the door. She handed me my duffle bag. GiGi closed the glass door and waved from the other side. "Go have fun," her muffled voice said. Then she closed the shade on me.

My Uber was waiting for me at the curb. As I hoisted my duffle on my shoulder, I couldn't help but smile. Life was good. I felt good. Things only went up since college and hopefully, they'll keep that momentum.

"Which terminal?" my driver asked when I got in the back seat.

"Uh, terminal 3, thanks."

I'm sure you're so tired of hearing about me and airports. Going to them, dropping people off, getting on planes. I get it. So here's what I'll leave you with until I get off of my flight.

Alexis

and

Seth

are tying the knot!

At La Push beach

Saturday 24th August, 2019

5 o'clock

reception to follow!

Yup. My baby brother's getting married. I'm going home. For the first time since dad's funeral.

XXXXXXXXX

The news that Seth was getting married wasn't the surprising part. It was how soon after high school that they had decided to get married. After Seth proposed at his and Alexis's high school graduation, he called me in the greatest elation I'd ever seen him. "She said yes! Can you believe it? She actually said yes!"

I giggled as I was unpacking a box in my bedroom. "Of course she did, Bub. You two are perfect together."

"And the ring—she loves it. She can't stop staring at it! Thank you, Lee. I can't say thank you enough."

I worked hard to repair my relationship with my brother and mother my senior year. They had come to see me graduate college and it felt like we were finally getting to a place where we could move forward instead of sitting in what was lost. And I understand my part in all of it. Avoidance wasn't the right way to handle my grief.

Anyway, when he told me that he wanted to propose to his girlfriend, I had flown Seth out to LA to look for a ring. And I insisted on paying for it with my signing bonus. He was nervous about picking out a ring. He kept asking what if he picked the wrong one. I told him that when he saw the ring, he'd know right away.

And he did. It was a gorgeous round diamond on a white gold band with a halo around the stone. "You don't have to keep thanking me, Seth," I said, shaking my head as if he can see me. "I'm happy to help anyway I can."

He got quiet for a second. "You'll come home for the wedding, right?"

I immediately stopped what I was doing. Which was unpacking shoes. Something that didn't matter. "Seth," I sighed. "Of course, I'll come home for the wedding. I wouldn't miss that for the world."

I couldn't make it to his high school graduation because I couldn't afford it. I didn't tell Seth, but I had used up all of my signing bonus on Alexis's ring. I had been trying to figure out how to get on a flight to see him graduate; I just couldn't swing it. So Mama FaceTimed me in and I watched him cross that stage, cheering as loud as I could. "Ok, I just wanted to check…" Seth said.

"I love you, Bub."

"Love you too, sis."

So here we were. I pulled up to my childhood home in a rental Nissan Altima and just sat there on the curb with the engine running. Just go in there. I imagined my father coming out the door to greet me. "There's my girl," is what he would say with the biggest smile on his face. He would help me with my bags and put his arm around my shoulders and tell me what he made Paul make for dinner in anticipation of my arrival.

I think that's part of why I couldn't come home for so long. He would never be here to see me come home again. He never got to welcome me home from college. He never would help me move into a new apartment or see me at my job or walk me down the aisle when it's time.

But that didn't mean I could disappear from people's lives because I couldn't deal with my own shit. So I found the strength to turn off the car, grab my stuff from the backseat, and walk inside. "Hello?" I called as I stepped over the threshold. "Guys, I'm home!"

Silence. Where was everyone? "Mama? Seth?" I called again. I went upstairs. Seth's room was a disaster area like it's always, and Mom's was immaculately clean. Nothing had changed in this house. It was still exactly as the last time I was here. But brighter somehow?

"Seth, honey, you home?" I heard downstairs. Mama. "Can you help me with these groceries? I want to get everything ready before Leah gets here!"

I felt myself smile a little. I heard the door open and close a couple of times as I walked to go back downstairs.

"And whose car is that on the curb? It has a Florida plate; that's weird, right?" She had her back turned to me as she put the grocery bags on the counter. "You're so quiet, Sethy. Am I talking to myself or what?"

"Not at all," I finally said. She whipped around at the sound of my voice. Time was my mother's secret weapon. She somehow looked younger now than the last time I'd seen her. She was starting to gray, but I could see she was embracing it instead of trying to hide it. Her hazel eyes met mine and they instantly started tearing up. "I'm home, Mama."

"Get over here right now," she said, holding out her arms. We fell toward each other and she wrapped me up in that warm hug I'd missed for so long. "Oh, my baby," she crooned. "You're so not a baby anymore."

"I'm sorry…" I've long owed my mother an apology. "I'm so sorry, Mama."

"For what, baby girl?"

"Being awful."

She kissed my forehead before looking into my eyes. She smiled softly. "You're here now," she said. "That's all that matters."

"No, Mama, I was terrible."

She shrugged. "Eh, who isn't in their early twenties?" She winked at me. "The best thing I can do for you as your mother is let you grieve the way you have to. You were going to come home when you were ready. I knew that in my heart."

Mama wiped the tears I didn't know were coming down my face. She hugged me again. I could tell she was trying not to cry. "Gosh, I thought we were saving tears for the wedding," I tried to joke. "Where's Seth anyway?"

She shook her head and shrugged again. "Who knows? All of those boys are never anywhere long enough to track, I swear. He's probably off with Alexis, if he's not on patrol."

I helped Mama put the groceries away. She was telling me—very tentatively—that she'd been spending more time with Charlie Swan lately. Every few seconds, she would peak over at me to see my reaction. I knew she wasn't trying to replace Dad so I told her that she deserved to be happy. And if Charlie Swan and his large mustache made her happy then I was all for it.

It had been almost four years since Dad passed away; I couldn't stop my mother from living the rest of her life while she's here on this earth.

"Are you going to see Paul while you're home?" Mama asked, bumping me lightly with her hip.

My cheeks flushed. "Maybe…"

"He's not dating anyone, you know."

"Your subtlety is unmatched, mother," I quipped.

"I'm just saying," she sing songed. "I have to go pick up some things for the wedding. Do you want to come?"

I glanced at her before closing the cabinet behind me. "Actually, I'd love to get settled, if that's ok."

"Of course, baby," she said, kissing my cheek. "I'll be back in a bit. Call me if you need anything."

Being in my old bedroom, I felt a different kind of appreciation for it. The memories that these walls held weren't painful anymore; they were more sweet than bitter, but still a little bittersweet. Countless late nights with Paul or the twins, getting ready for school dances, eating milk and cookies with my dad. Everything good was here.

I peaked out of my bedroom window to see Paul's house just below. It had gotten a bit of a facelift since I'd last seen it. He did say something about rebuilding it that night. The old wood porch was brand new, the outside was a beautiful warm white, he'd built a brand new deck in the backyard. There was even a welcome mat at the front door.

Thinking about seeing Paul again had me a little nervous. After that night, I spent so much time thinking that maybe that was our last chance to get it right. I wondered if we'd never be in sync again. Would we keep fighting about the same things?

Instead of wallowing in it, I rushed downstairs and found myself down the road, weirded out by how quiet it was. There was no one around. The La Push I remembered was always bustling. When I got to the Blacks' little red house, I was filled with an alarming amount of nostalgia. I knocked on the door, shaking it away.

There was some rustling inside and I heard, "No, I'll get it." And when the door opened, a very shirtless man stood before me. He was one of the wolves. Very tall, super muscular, but a friendly smile. "Oh, hey! Leah! Leah Clearwater!"

"Hi," I said almost shyly. "Embry…right?"

"Yeah! I graduated in the class under you. I'm pack with your brother!"

"Bry, who's at the door?" Rachel's voice called out behind him. She popped up in the doorway, wearing nothing but a white button down and underwear. When she saw me, her eyes lit up and she screamed with glee. "Oh my god!" Rachel launched her body into mine. "I thought you weren't coming in until tomorrow."

"I got an earlier flight. Are you surprised?" I smiled.

"Surprised? I'm more than surprised. I'm…I'm—what's more than surprised? I don't even know! I'm just so freaking happy to see you!" she gushed as she examined me. "You look gorgeous! And you cut your hair! Oh my god, Lee!"

I hugged her again, relishing in the feeling. "It feels good to be home," I said honestly.

"Oh!" Rachel said, gesturing to Embry. "Bry, this is Leah. Leah, this is Embry. I don't think you guys have ever officially met."

"Indirectly," I said. We shook hands. "It's nice to meet you, Embry."

"I feel like I already know you. Between Seth and Paul—," he started to say before Rachel elbowed him. "Sorry."

"No need to be sorry," I waved it off. "We're friendly. No bad blood."

Rachel very casually put a hand on Embry's chest. Oh my. "Give us a sec?" He nodded and went back inside. She turned to me, running a hand through her hair. She crossed her arms over her chest. "How are you doing? Really really."

"I'm good, Rach, I promise," I laughed a little. "So Embry Call, huh?"

Her face flushed bright red. "Yeah…he's pretty amazing," she said, trying not to smile. "Jacob gave me shit for so long for getting together with one of his pack members, but…" she trailed off, "I don't know. He's different."

My heart warmed at how happy she looked. I mean, Rachel was always happy, but this was different. She was in love. And it looked good on her. "Come on, let's go to the diner and you can tell me all about it."

"The diner?" she repeated, confused. Then she realized. "Oh! Oh no, honey, the diner closed."

"What?"

"Yeah, the diner closed like two years ago, babe," she told me. This was news to me. "Hold on, let me get dressed. We'll take a drive." Before she went inside, she looked at me again. The excitement bubbled in her before she hugged me again. "I'm so happy you're home."

XXXXXXXXX

Rachel and I drove around the reservation, just talking and catching up. Even though we FaceTimed all the time, there was still something different about being at home and getting up to speed on your best friend's life. "Oh, Bex said that she and Sol were flying in later this week. They couldn't get a flight sooner than Wednesday," Rachel said as we pulled up to the building that used to be our beloved diner.

I gasped. "Did she tell you they're trying for a baby?"

"She did," Rachel grinned. "Can you believe it? We might have a little baby soon!"

"We're all so grown up," I fake sniffled.

Rachel laughed. "Come on. I think you'll like what they've done with this place."

It looked unsuspecting. It was the same but different. Kind of like Paul's house, it got something of a facelift. It was painted this soft black, but kept the large windows. There were chairs and tables outside, railed off by large plants and these cool tall lamps. And you could hear the music coming from the inside, but it wasn't so loud that it was off-putting to go in.

We walked in and it was all mood lighting and wall to wall vinyl records and movie posters. Casablanca. Ocean's 11. Citizen Kane. The place was packed with people. And then I saw it. The marquee sign over the bar.

Harry's.

I felt frozen to my spot. Rachel led me to the bar where we stood in front of the large marquee. "Jared!" she called as she waved. I was so stunned that I couldn't speak.

Jared came into view from the other side of the bar. "Oh shit! Look what the cat dragged in," he grinned. He jogged around the other side, giving Rachel a hug and then me. "How long has it been?"

I snapped out of it. "Too long apparently," I said, a little overwhelmed. "What is this?"

"Do you like it?" he asked.

"I…" was truly speechless. I wanted to cry.

Jared understood. "Grab a seat. I'll get you a drink. Martini, right? With a twist?" I nodded. "So fancy. And a tequila soda for Rach, coming right up."

"Get her a menu too, please," Rachel asked as she guided me to sit. I just kept staring at my father's name in front of me. Harry's. Harry's.

It was a homage to all of his favorite things. The music was coming from an old record player hooked up to speakers. The tv above the bar was playing a baseball game, and another tv in the corner was playing an old movie. Citizen Kane. His favorite movie. "Pretty cool, huh?" Rachel said. "It's honestly perfect. Harry would love this place."

Jared set a food menu in front of me. There it was again. The name. Harry's. I couldn't get over it. How and why and who and what? All of these questions were going through my head. "Yeah, he really would have," I managed to say. "Who did this?"

"Who do you think?" Rach said with a small smirk on her face. My heart fluttered as I felt myself smile.

The menu was more of my father's favorite things. Fish fry, buffalo ribs, chili, fried green tomatoes. Not only my father's favorites, but my whole family's, including me. Right there at the bottom under dessert, there was this: For Leah, fresh baked cinnamon rolls with homemade vanilla icing

"Anything standing out to you?" Jared asked, placing my drink in front of me. He leaned on the bar. "I hear the chef is top notch."

"He's here?" I asked.

Jared nodded. "I won't lie, he's in a bit of a mood today."

"He makes cinnamon rolls best when he's in a mood," I joked. "One of those please."

"And loaded fries," Rachel added.

"I'll put that in for you," Jared winked at us. He clicked on the monitor a few feet from us. Then his face twisted in confusion. "Uh, give me a sec."

He disappeared into the back. I realized when he left that a few other of the pack members were also working in this bar. Quil Ateara was running food, Jacob was repairing something up on a ladder. It was all wolf run.

"…you can tell the customer yourself then," Jared's voice rang out as he came back.

"This is ridiculous, Jared. Just tell them that we're out and they can have another dessert. Just not that one. I'm not making cinnamon rolls for anyone." Oh, I know that voice. I missed that voice.

"Stop being a dick."

"You stop being a dick. Do your job."

Jared flipped him the bird before walking to the other side of the bar. Paul came into view as he draped a towel over his shoulder. He looked annoyed. He was almost right in front of me, but he wouldn't look up. "Sorry ma'am, but—,"

"Ma'am?" I interrupted. His head shot up and our eyes locked. "Don't tell me you're gatekeeping the best thing on your menu. That's not fair."

He looked so shocked to see me. "Clearwater," he breathed.

"Hi Paul," I bit my lip as I gazed at him.

"You're here."

"I am," I nodded.

He tapped his fingers on the solid wood bar for a second, just looking at me. Then he dropped his towel on the table top and called out, "Jared, I'll be back."

"I don't know how to cook, man! What if someone comes in?" Jared threw his hands up in exasperation.

"I won't be gone that long, idiot," Paul rolled his eyes. He came around the bar. He looked down at me as if he couldn't believe I was actually there. "Talk outside?" he asked. I nodded, grabbing my drink and then following him.

The outdoor space of the bar was just as nice as the inside. The small black metal tables were plentiful and spaced out across the patio. They had hung strings of bulb lights overhead and there was a smaller bar area against the wall of the building. He led me to the very furthest corner of the patio and pulled out a chair for me. "I didn't know you were coming home," he said as he sat.

"I didn't know you built a bar named after my father," I countered.

"Yeah, well…if I would have known you were coming home, I would have been the one to bring you to the bar myself instead of someone else. Probably after closing…or before. I guess that doesn't really matter…"

"Are you nervous?" I leaned toward him.

He chuckled with uncertainty. "No," he shook his head. "No, not nervous. Just…shocked. Happy to see you."

"Then why are you sitting so far away from me?" I took a sip of my martini and watched as Paul's eyes darted down to my mouth for a beat then back up to my eyes. He licked his lips before smirking at me. Ok, whatever Jared put in this drink to make me this confident, I'll need 10 more immediately.

Paul scooted his chair until he was right next to me. He got so close that I could feel his body radiating heat. His amber eyes studied my face. Then he reached up and played with the ends of my hair. "You cut your hair," he said.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it. You look beautiful. As always."

I cut my hair as soon as I got to LA. It stopped just below my shoulders now with layers that somehow made my hair look even thicker than it already was. I'd considered dying it for a while, but ultimately voted against it because I didn't want to change too much too fast.

He was still looking at me as he played with my hair. "I was going to call you."

"I prefer when we get to talk in person," I told him. It felt like we were getting closer and closer every second. Like the whole world fell away and time stood still while we sat there together. "I've missed you."

"You have no idea, Clearwater," he started to smile.

Jared swung the back door open. "Bro, we need you," he shouted. Quil's two seconds away from setting something on fire."

Paul's head dropped in front of him. "You've got to be kidding me…" he mumbled. "I'll be there in a second." When he turned to me, I noticed there was something between annoyance and pain in his eyes. "I'm sorry, I need to get back in there before this place burns to the ground."

"It's ok," I told him, reaching out to touch his cheek. "I'll be around."

"I know this is a long shot, but do you want to come over later? I'll make you dinner and you can tell me all about LA."

"Mama's cooking tonight," I told him. He looked disappointed. "How about a night cap instead?"

He smiled at me, appreciatively. "That would be perfect." Paul picked up my hand and kissed the back of it. He started to walk back into the bar when he stopped. "It's good to have you back, Clearwater."

I raised my glass to him. "Feels good to be back."

XXXXXXXXX

Do not rush through dinner so you can go to Paul's house.

Do not rush through dinner so you can go to Paul's house.

Do not rush through dinner so you can go to Paul's house.

"I'm going to Paul's after dinner," I blurted to my mother while she was plating the food.

She glanced at me. "Yeah?" She was trying not to make it a big deal.

"I saw him at the bar—which we will be talking about later, Mom—and he played with my hair like he used to and he kissed my hand." I was gushing like a 10 year old with a crush. "God, I forgot how flustered I get around him. Is that stupid?"

"No, baby, it's not stupid," she chuckled.

"You're sure he's not seeing anyone?" I asked. I jumped on the counter next to the stove.

"All I know is what I see with my own two eyes. And my two eyes haven't seen him with another girl since you left."

I didn't have much time to think about that. My brother and his girlfriend—sorry, fiancée—Alexis walked through the front door. "Is she here?" he called through the whole house.

I couldn't stop the excitement from coursing through my body as I jumped off the counter to give my baby brother a huge hug. "Seth!"

"Lee! Finally!" I welcomed the fact that he was five seconds away from completely crushing me. If this is how I go out, that's fine. I'm fine with dying from the love of my brother, you know?

"God, Seth, are you still getting bigger?" I asked before looking at his fiancée. I will never be over that. "How are you, Alexis? It's been so long, you probably don't remember me," I cracked.

"Are you kidding? Seth and Sue never stop talking about how proud they are of you. It's just nice to see you again," she said with a bright smile and a hug. She looked mini next to my giant brother. "I know you're schedule is so busy. I'm happy you could make it for the wedding."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," I told her.

"Who wants to help with this food?" Mom asked from the kitchen.

As we went to sit down for dinner, I watched as Seth and Mama sat in their usual spots. Alexis and I lingered a little awkwardly. I didn't know how this worked anymore. Did I sit where I usually sit? But then Alexis would have to sit in Dad's seat. Do I want to sit in Dad's seat? Where does Alexis sit when I'm not here?

Mama looked up and gestured for me to sit in Dad's chair. It's ok, was what she was telling me. It was alright to move forward; things didn't always have to be how they used to be. Once I sat down, I saw Alexis sigh quietly in relief and took her place in my old spot at the table. We loaded up our plates, exchanging pleasantries. "So give me the lowdown," I said. "The rehearsal dinner is Friday, the wedding's on Saturday at the beach. What's the plan for after? Honeymoon?"

Seth took a sip of his water. "We might have to delay a honeymoon," he told me. "I feel bad for missing patrol too much."

"What? That's dumb. Are they giving you shit for taking days off?" I asked.

"Aileah, language," my mother scolded me like I was still in high school.

"I mean…a little," he admitted. "It's not a big deal though. I want to save some more money for someplace good anyway."

"Plus, people put off honeymoons all the time," Alexis added. "Wolf stuff can just be crazy."

"Do you need me to talk to Jared?" I asked. "I'll fu—," I had to stop myself from cursing again, "I will bust his kneecaps if he's giving you sh—a hard time."

Seth shook his head. "It's not really Jared that's the problem. It's Sam. Ever since the packs reunited, he's been a total jerk. He basically tells Jared he's doing a shi—uh, crappy job and Jared falls for it every time. I don't know…it doesn't seem worth it much anymore. The Cullens are leaving Forks and there hasn't been a nomad in almost a full year. I've been thinking about not phasing anymore. Start a family, get a job."

"You guys can do that?"

"It's hard, but it's possible. Jake's been talking about doing it for a while. Ever since Paul started."

My fork dropped out of my hand and onto the floor. Paul wasn't phasing anymore. I rolled my eyes at my own clumsiness. "Sorry…" I muttered as I picked it up. "I didn't know that Paul stopped phasing."

"For about a year, right, babe?" Alexis said. Babe, so cute.

I shot a look at my mom. The woman I talk to every since week, two or three times a week. "You've just kept all kinds of fun secrets from me, mama," I said. "Anything else I missed?"

"Uhh…" she thought about it for a second, looking at the ceiling. "Kim Cameron's pregnant. You know, Jared's wife."

"Wife," I repeated in disbelief.

"They eloped," she shrugged. "She came by the hospital for an ultrasound. She wanted to keep it quiet until after the wedding."

"Mama, you just told the whole table. Including the bride and groom."

"Oh, everyone knows," Alexis nodded. Her curled hair was bouncing with every bob. "We just pretend we don't know for her sake."

Mom gave me a tight smile. "See what you miss when you don't come home?"

"Yeah, I feel like I just walked into the last season of an 8 season show," I sighed. "Pass the potatoes."

XXXXXXXXX

Why was I nervous about seeing Paul? I changed outfits three times and touched up my makeup as if he has ever cared about any of that. I felt like a teenager, going down the stairs as casually and quietly as I could. I made it all the way to the back door when I heard, "Have fun. Use protection."

Mama was sitting in the living room, reading her book. "You're a lot sassier than I remember," I joked.

"My sass and my ass age like fine wine," she quipped back.

I shook my head, laughing. "I'll be back later."

I walked to his door with little anxious butterflies in my stomach. As I raised my hand to knock on the front door, I remembered that first night after I found out about Sam and Emily. The official start of all of this. The first time I realized that I wanted to love Paul for the rest of my life.

If he really had stopped phasing, that could mean anything. I wasn't going to ask him to run away with me…again. I couldn't. Right?

He must have heard me coming because he opened the door before I could even knock. He was pulling a T shirt over his chest just as he did that night. And he had wet hair. "You came." He looked surprised and relieved.

"I wanted to see you again," I told him. I couldn't help but play with my hair to try to make sure it was in place.

He grabbed my hand gently away from my hair. "You look perfect," he told me.

For so long, the Lahote house was barebones. Randall and Diana had this tan couch for years that was almost deflated from overuse. Glass was always littering the baseboards. Paul always told me how much he loved that our house felt like home.

Now he'd built a home. The brown leather couch sat in the same spot Randall and Diana's old couch used to sit, opposite a flat screen tv. He'd lit candles on the wood coffee table, and had everything meticulously organized to his liking. The kitchen was completely upgraded with new stainless steel appliances and a brand new kitchen bar with granite countertops. "Wow," I said, looking around. "You really put a lot of work in this place."

"Yeah, it was a good distraction. A lot different than the last time you saw it." He was standing so close behind me. He put a hand on my hip. "I know you're usually a vodka girl, but I'm fresh out. How does scotch sound? Or maybe gin? I could make you a gin and tonic."

"Scotch is fine, if that's what you're having."

"I've been taking mine on the rocks with a little bit of lemon, is that cool?"

"Whatever you want, sweetie," I told him, turning to face him. We were practically chest to chest. His hand still lingered on my waist for a second before he nodded and went into the kitchen. I followed behind him, leaning my forearms on the kitchen bar. "How long did all of this take?"

"About a year and a half," he answered as he put five ice cubes in mine, only two in his. "I figured if I was going to be stuck here, I might as well make it a nice place to live."

But you were never stuck here was what I wanted to say. I didn't. It wasn't my place to tell him that. He grabbed a fresh lemon from the fridge and I watched as he very carefully shaved two pieces of the peel off of it before cutting it in half and squeezing it in each glass. He was so intentional with his hands, always. Laser focused. "You did a beautiful job," I said.

"Thank you," he said as he handed me a glass. We sat on the couch with plenty of room for Jesus between us. Me on one end, him on the other. He had his ankle crossed over his knee and he was leaning against the pillows, very chill. "I knew you would be at the wedding, I just didn't know when you were coming in."

"Originally, I was flying in on Wednesday, and then my boss insisted I take more time so I changed my flight to tomorrow, but found an even earlier flight for today. I wanted to maximize my time as much as possible. Especially before my tiny baby brother ties the knot."

"You met Alexis yet?"

"We all had dinner. She's very perky," I noted before taking a sip. "I don't think I could dream up someone better for Seth."

"They really love each other, Lee," he said, honestly. Then he said kind of under his breath. "We could probably learn something from them…"

Minute by minute, I watched his guard come down. He was doing every tale tell sign that he was trying to distract himself. He swirls the liquor in his glass and watches it instead of looking at me. He taps his foot in a funky rhythm. He chews on his bottom lip. "Do you want to tell me about the bar?" I asked. I figured it was a good, solid middle ground for conversation.

His lips twitched up in a small smile. "I know that was kind of crazy to come home to."

"It was a shock," I agreed. "A good one though."

Paul reached to rub the back of his neck, the sleeves of his shirt hugging his huge arms. "I was helping Sue get some things packed up. She wanted to put some of Harry's stuff in storage so it didn't feel like a shrine to him. Those are her words." Valid. "And I was just looking through all of his records that he kept in the living room. That Beatles vinyl was still on the player. And Sue said there were even more in the garage along with some of his favorite movie posters. She asked if I wanted to keep them because they were going to be wasted in storage.

"That was right around when I started cooking again. I had just bought the stove," he pointed to it. "I was tired of feeling bad for myself and I got back in the kitchen. And then when I found out that the diner was closing, they had said that they were tearing the building down if no one bought it. I couldn't let that happen, you know? There's too much history in that place."

"So you bought it," I concluded.

"Me and Jared bought it. It was his idea to make it a bar while we were remodeling. I thought we were just going to do another diner, just elevated. And I had the idea to house the vinyl inside to make it like the vibe, I guess. We bought a shit ton more from this secondhand store in Port Angeles. Then it just felt right to call it Harry's. It's for the community, just like he was."

"That's incredible, Paul," I said as I got closer to him. "Do you know how big his head would be right now if he were here to see a bar named after him?"

Paul laughed. But he still wouldn't meet my eye. "I thought…" he stopped. "I thought getting back to my roots and being back in the kitchen would fix it."

"Fix what?"

"I…I don't know. But it didn't. I thought it did for that first rush, but…that didn't last very long."

I knew what he thought it would fix. He thought opening the bar would make him feel less stuck. He wanted to find his purpose. I think he's afraid of seeing that maybe his purpose isn't here at home. I let him sit in the silence for a little bit. "What's stopping you from leaving this place?" I asked quietly.

His amber eyes were drained, only showing how tired he really was. I watched him swirl that scotch in his glass. "It's safe here."

I knew how hard it was for him to be vulnerable. People had broken him down year after year. Telling him he'd only ever be a Rez rat and nothing else. He was always so much more than that. With me, I could see who he really was. I could see him. "Hmm…" I said, leaning back on the couch. "I never saw you as the type to be afraid."

He rolled his eyes. "Don't try to bait me. I'm not afraid."

Standing up, I shrugged. "I can't tell." I walked over to pour myself another glass. "All of these projects are just a means to distract you from what you really want."

He stood up too. "And what do I want, Leah?"

"You want a life outside of this." It was simple stated, but horribly complex to execute. "Is that why you stopped phasing? So you can try to leave?"

Paul's face went white. "How did you know that?"

"I may have heard that little piece of information from someone. Not from you."

"Because I don't know if I can sustain it long term," he told me. "You're right, I want to leave. You already knew that. But if I hurt someone…"

"You've never hurt anyone, Paul," I had to remind him. I came around the bar and got real close to him. I held his face in my hands and made him look me in the eye. "Remember standing in my bedroom and you said to me 'you're too big for this place'? I've always felt the same about you. You're bigger than what any of those assholes expect. That bar was packed because of your talent. Don't waste it being miserable here. You shouldn't ever look this sad, Paul. Never."

He was really quiet as he processed. No one else was going to say it except for me.

"Friends first, right?" I kept going. Leaning up, I placed a little kiss on his cheek. Then his other cheek. "I'll always be your friend first, Paul." I kissed his forehead, standing on my tip toes. "I can help you," I whispered. I was going to kiss his nose next, but he lifted his face ever so slightly so our lips touched. "If you want me to," I whispered against his lips.

His arms swept around my waist to hold me against his body. Paul kissed me deeper than I was expecting. I welcomed it as I felt his tongue pass over mine. He was still as intoxicating as ever, maybe even more so. Now that time has passed, his touches weren't desperate, but appreciative. Attentive. He was assessing my body with his hands. "Friends first," he agreed before dipping to kiss my neck. "Always friends first."

"I just want you to be happy," I breathed. I was trying to keep even a little control over this.

"Are you happy?" he asked, pulling on the hem of my shirt. I raised my arms so he could pull it over my head. He admired me in my black lace bra for a second before trailing his tongue from my neck to the valley of my breasts.

"I…I could be," I answered.

"What would make you happy, Lee?" He unhooked my bra.

I couldn't think straight. "I…"

"You what?" His voice has dropped in that deep raspy tone that I could never get enough of.

"Fuck…" Paul's hands slid over the swell of my ass.

"Tell me what would make you happy, Leah," he whispered as he ghosted his lips over mine. I reached up to kiss him, but he kept pulling away. "Tell me."

"You."

We didn't even make it to the bedroom. No, somehow we ended up on the floor of the living room, my back on the soft rug. We kissed as he unbuttoned my jeans. He was lying right between my legs, grinding himself into me. "It's been too long…" he whispered.

I pulled his shirt over his head and threw it god knows where. When he started kissing down my body, all I could do was stare at the ceiling. With every hot open kissed mouth, I felt my arousal pool between my legs. He ripped my jeans off in a haste before he dove in face first into my aching pussy. "Oh my god," I gasped. He sucked on my clit through my panties and I thought I would explode right then. I could hear him growling under his breath as he continued to play with me through lace. "Please," I begged.

He looked up at me from between my legs. Instead of taking them off, he pulled my panties to the side and fully devoured me. I moaned at the feeling of his tongue on me. It was so much better than any wet dream. He was drinking me as if I was the last drop of water he'd ever have. I watched as he hooked his large hands around my thighs to pull me closer to his mouth. He swirled and sucked and flicked my swollen clit with his tongue for what felt like a lifetime. My hands were buried deep in his hair, gripping for dear life. He hummed around my wet core which sent a vibration through my whole body. "Cum for me, baby, I need it," he said.

"I'm so close," I moaned. "Don't stop."

Paul slipped two fingers inside me. Every stroke was making me climb closer and closer to release. His lips and tongue never stopped as he kept finger fucking me. "Is it mine?" he asked huskily. I nodded fervently. "No, I want to hear you say it, Leah."

"It's yours," I gasped out as my back arched off the ground.

"Only mine?"

"Forever."

I meant it. And that little admission was enough to send me right over the edge, calling his name as every muscle in my body tightened and then release. But, in true Paul fashion, he made me ride out my orgasm by rubbing my pussy as he climbed back up my body. I reached for his pants right as he tore off my panties. "Fuck, you're incredible," he said before coming down to kiss me. I could taste myself on his tongue in the most scandalous way ever. Stroking his cock, I was silently begging for him to fuck me right there on the living room floor. His jaw clenched as he tried to contain himself.

"Don't make me beg again," I said. I guided him to my opening and heard him cuss as his eyes fluttered closed.

He pushed inside me and it was like a first time again. His strokes were cautious, deliberate. I could feel him fill me over and over again as he made love to me. Then he started to speed up. He just kept saying it was so good, so tight, so wet for him. He hiked my leg up over his waist, then his shoulder. We both cursed at how different it felt. He felt bigger inside me.

Paul kissed me again, the strokes of his tongue matching the stroke of his sex. Every single part of him was surrounding me in the best ways. Here, I was safe and he was safe with me. He grabbed me by the waist and rolled us until I was on top of him. I began to ride him without a second thought. His hands were all over my body. Admiring my curves, holding my bouncing breasts in his hands. He looked like he'd never expected to have this again. Have us.

The thought of that alone made me work harder to make sure that he felt good. I bounced harder on top of him and watched his face fall into a state of ecstasy. I pulled his shoulders until we were chest to chest. He gazed in my eyes as we came together. Our bodies slicked with sweat, collapsed onto the rug in a huff.

The day caught up with me right then and I felt myself starting to fall asleep on his chest. He carried my body's deadweight to the bathroom where he so kindly cleaned me up before dressing me in his favorite T shirt and putting both of us to bed. I could feel him stroking my hair as I started to drift. "We may be friends first," he whispered, "but you will always be the love of my life above everything else. I'll figure it out, I promise."