TRIGGER WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER: There is extremely dubious consent in this chapter and some borderline sexual violence.
If you would like to read this chapter but avoid the smut stop when you see a line break.
The same line break will appear when it is safe to resume reading.
Remember to be kind and do what you need to do for you.
Prince Yuri is not the type of person to hide away from his problems, but if it were an option, he'd let this wedding happen without his presence. He wakes up with the sun, laying motionlessly in his bed for some twenty minutes before the steps of his attendant herald the end of his cowering.
"Your highness-" Guang-Hong's salutation is cut short by the prince pulling himself out of bed.
Yuri walks to his vanity and waits for his attendant to approach. Several other servants filter in and begin readying his attire while Guang-Hong slowly approaches.
"How did you sleep?"
"Not well," Yuri mutters.
"I know… I know you're worried highness… I would ask you to have faith that this is right."
"It is right," Yuri agrees. "It's what must be done."
Guang-Hong nods, picking up a brush and running it through the blonde locks before him. Yuri isn't certain where his mind should be, but it is all over the place. He thinks about his brother and Mr. Katsuki, he thinks about what the night will bring, and he thinks about the threats made by King Hakan.
Yuri was not the type to fantasize about his wedding growing up, but he didn't think that it would look this way. He didn't think his wedding day would be full of dread and anxiety. The shaking of his hands prompts Guang-Hong to order him to drink and eat; but the prince is certain he cannot stomach either.
Once his hair is tied up from his face and weaved into a crown of flowers, he steps into his dress suit. The white and gold of the suit should wash out his complextion (Yuri had complained about the travesty to Guang-Hong weeks ago), but instead it brings him to life, it accentuates the rouge of his cheeks and the youthfulness of his features.
He looks as close to innocent as he ever will and that unsettles him.
"Your highness? How do you feel?" Guang-Hong asks with a gentle smile.
Yuri fights valiantly to smile but his lip wavers and he looks down at his shoes instead of his friend.
"Oh… Your-" The prince leans forward and holds onto his attendant to stop him from speaking any further.
"Thank you." Yuri whispers into Guang-Hong's shoulder.
"Of course." Guang-Hong smiles softly, patting his charge's back gently.
Once he gathers himself (tearlessly, which he would boast about were he in any other situation), the prince nods to the servants.
There's a knock at the door then and King Yakov enters the space.
"Might I have a moment with my son?" he asks. It is, of course, not really a question. The servants bow to the royals and exit the room. Guang-Hong leaves a reassuring squeeze on Yuri's shoulder as he goes.
"Papa?" Yuri takes a seat on his bed. King Yakov quickly follows suit.
"Business first? Or should I indulge my sensitive side?"
Yuri snorts, "You have a sensitive side?"
Yakov bumps his son's shoulder with his own. "Business then… The story we're telling anyone who asks is that I sent your brother on a diplomatic mission to the east for the last five months. He took Mr. Katsuki with him as a show of trust and to act as his guide."
"I see." Yuri closes his eyes and shakes his head. His father puts a hand over Yuri's.
"And now I can say whatever I please without your chastising." He teases, "I am… I am very proud of you, Yura. I know this wasn't easy on you but… you've done everything I've asked of you. I know your grandfather would be just as proud of you today as he was the day he died."
"Would he?" Yuri asks, looking meekly up to his father.
"Absolutely." Yakov puts a hand on his cheek, "I know that this whole situation has not been ideal, but you've handled it all better than most could have hoped to. You did what Viktor never could have and for that I am grateful to you."
"Do you think… Do you think this is a good match? Not for the kingdom, but for me?"
"I think the Altin boy cares about you and I think that the two of you won't let this marriage fail. I think in that sense it is a good match. You're a fighter Yuri, I know that you will fight for the life you want."
"What if I lose?"
"You won't."
"He's a warrior, Papa, I think he knows how to fight better than I do." Yuri manages to laugh.
"After all you put me through in your teen years? He's going to have a run for his money." Yuri laughs again as his father kisses his temple. "Otabek will not be a challenge for you, my son. The rest of it? His family, a new kingdom, and a foolish brother? Yes, you'll have a fight to be sure, but not with him. Not for him."
Yuri nods. "I think I could love him."
"I think you will, and I think you'll both be better for it."
Yuri wraps his arms around his father's waist. "I'm not ready."
"I know."
"I'm scared to leave."
"I know, Yurachka."
"When will I be ready?"
"When you decide to be." Yakov squeezes him a bit tighter.
"I feel like no matter what I do I'm making mistakes."
"You have been perfectly affable and considerate throughout this whole affair. The hardest part will be behind us soon enough." Yakov lifts his son's gaze towards his. "For now, we will get you settled and then you have your whole life to figure out the rest."
Yuri nods to him. "I know."
"I could not be more proud of you. I love you and I know you will make the most of this."
"Thank you."
"Your majesty, the carriage is waiting!" Guang-Hong calls through the door.
King Yakov pats Yuri's knee and stands up. The prince then takes his father's arm and follows him down to the front hall of the palace. Before they can exit, however, his majesty stops and whispers to his son:
"Be sure to smile, Yura, everyone's watching."
Yuri steels himself and smiles as naturally as he can while the pair of them walk out of the hall and into an open-air carriage. The cart is gilded with intricate patterns and floral garlands are draped all around; even the horses have finery on their reigns and blinders.
Along the route there's a roaring crowd of well-wishers, many of whom Yuri recognizes from the village. Others, he assumes, are from smaller towns and farms throughout the country. He smiles and waves at them as they go, all the while his heart thrums painfully against his ribcage.
The threatening chimes of the church bells sink into Yuri's gut; he still feels so very lost and the turmoil within him is sickening. Part of him wants to run. In his mind he conjures up such an image of sprinting into the crowd and the smile on his lips quivers with uncertainty. As they close in on the church, Yuri feels a wash of finality douse those musings; he won't run, that was never a choice.
King Yakov leads his son into the church; the congregation stands for him and it all feels so surreal. He can feel all eyes on him, and he feels like he would rather be swallowed by the earth than take another step forward.
His father gently pulls him along down the aisle and Yuri can barely breathe as they go. His ears buzz with silence even though he's certain there's music playing in the hall. The prince is so aware of those around him that he cannot figure out where to look. He spots Georgi and JJ stood together in the pews and barely keeps his composure. Then there's Chris and Phichit, the latter of whom has misty eyes. In the front of the church Mr. Katsuki and Viktor stand looking solemnly at the prince.
Yuri can hardly bear it, so he turns to finally look at the man waiting for him, and his heart stops its erratic rhythm. Otabek is so stunningly handsome Yuri feels like he might collapse; he looks like a god among men. His dark suit and perfectly styled hair accentuate the strength of his features. What really ties up Yuri's stomach in knots is the smile he offers to the prince.
That soft smile that is neither a smirk nor forced, it's sincere and it's for him.
When Yuri comes to a stop, he knows that the priest is speaking and that his father is giving him away; he can't hear so much as a syllable, but he can feel a pang of guilt when he looks at King Yakov. Of all the difficulties he's faced leading up to this moment, he hasn't stopped to think about his father. He feels terrible leaving him behind, especially with the mess of Viktor's making.
As his father kisses his forehead, Yuri squeezes his hand.
"I love you, Papa," he whispers.
"I love you too." The king passes Yuri off to his intended and moves back to his seat.
Suddenly, as if prompted by the very touch of his lordship, the church is full of sound. The soft whispers of the congregation, the music swelling to a climax, all of it fills Yuri up and brings him into the present.
The priest begins a speech about the bonds of marriage and the responsibility of that promise. Yuri tightens his hold on Otabek's hand and looks deeply into his eyes. His lordship holds his gaze with intensity; it's as if their souls hope to speak without a breath spoken.
Soon, their hands are tied together with a scarf, a tradition from Otabek's homeland or so Yuri's been told. A fine weave of red and gold thread is wrapped around their joined hands and blessed. Then the fabric is placed to the side as a bowl of water is brought to the couple.
Yuri takes one of the rags as a blessing is spoken and begins to wash Otabek's hands. He mutters the familiar incantation along with the priest as a sign of submission to his new spouse. The ritual is meant as a sign of good will and an assurance of caretaking. Yuri hopes that is understood between them as he dries the freshly washed skin.
When the priest produces the wine Yuri feels a bit more comfortable offering the cup to his intended. He can see the ripples in the wine as Otabek's hands shake and it makes him chuckle good naturedly. The pair part ways to offer their new families the drink; King Hakan makes clear, domineering eye contact with Yuri as he partakes, and Prince Aysel smiles almost sympathetically at Yuri before taking a drink.
Suddenly the marriage is complete and the scarf from before is tied around their shoulders until they are barely a breath apart. Otabek blushes and Yuri snorts when they are told to kiss. His lordship looks nervously from the priest to Yuri, hesitantly laughs, and then finally kisses him.
Yuri smiles against the lips of his husband and almost melts into a puddle of nerves and glee at his feet. All the anxieties ease away, and for one tender moment, Yuri revels in that marital bliss he's heard so much about.
They are released from the confines of their fastening shortly after and are presented to the gathering. The young prince catches the gaze of his brother; Viktor seems to be crying as he gives Yuri a big grin. Yuri swallows any rude comment as he is led out of the church and back into the carriage. Otabek takes the seat that was previously for King Yakov.
Once the cart begins to move, Otabek takes Yuri's jaw in his hand and kisses him sweetly.
"What was that?" Yuri asks once he pulls away.
"I-… I felt that… I should. I'm sorry if you-"
"Don't apologize I just… Hmm." Yuri blushes in response.
"Well… we are married." Otabek chuckles, running a knuckle gently down Yuri's cheek.
"We are." Yuri agrees lamely.
Otabek gives another soft laugh before they return their attention to the crowd. Yuri feels the heat in his face and blames the summer sun for it. His heart lodges in his throat as he reiterates in his mind that they are, in fact, married. He has a husband and he might even love the man.
All of his worries remain at bay when they return to the palace, hurrying up to the king's study to sign the marriage contract. The whole affair is the most painless portion of the day, a quick four signatures and the deal is complete.
Yuri feels the tightness in his chest ease as they are ushered to the next portion of the event. The presentation of the couple to the guests and then the presentation to the kingdom. The prince recalls the snide tone of King Hakan at the idea; because Moravia won't be their kingdom, he'd complained.
Still, the gathering of aristocracy give them a warm reception and Yuri is glad to have been afforded the opportunity to present his spouse to the kingdom. He swears he spots a few familiar faces in the throng, and it's also a prime opportunity to kiss Otabek again.
He definitely likes kissing his husband, he's decided; the man is warm and holds him so sweetly he feels very nearly precious in his arms. He feels safe and secure, like Otabek will protect him from the most frightening parts of the world. Perhaps that's unrealistic, but the thought comforts him greatly.
The reception is quickly upon the pair; after a whirlwind of greetings and ceremonies, they're suddenly sat in the grand dining hall for the feast.
Both kings are sat beside their sons and Yuri is desperately holding onto Otabek's hand under the table. Viktor is by Yakov's side; it's the closest Yuri's been to his brother since he left nearly half a year ago. Throughout the meal, Yuri can hear bits of Yakov's conversation with Viktor. Most of these statements are to the effect of don't you dare or you will listen to me or you're staying in that seat.
If Yuri were capable of laughing about it, he might, but instead he eats in silence and occasionally greets the guests who approach the head table. There's a tense moment before the main course is served where both King Hakan and King Yakov give speeches about the union. It feels something like a stand off; the two of them seem to be vying for power over a toast. Yuri's discomfort is only assuaged by the humored gleam in Otabek's eye as Prince Aysel implores his husband to relent.
There's a blissful moment of quietude between the meal and the start of perfunctory dances. The first of which is Yuri and Otabek's dance, alone, in the middle of the ballroom.
The music is soft and slow as they move around each other.
"At the risk of sounding idiotic… how has your evening been, your grace?" Yuri manages a jest.
"Idiotic how?" Otabek snorts.
"I've been with you for every step of it."
"I have been… enjoying parts of it. Some more than others."
"I see."
"And have you been enjoying the day?"
Yuri bites his lip, "Well, I think in part. At least… at least, I haven't been alone in this ordeal."
"There is that… and please, call me Otabek, remember?"
"My apologies." Yuri blushes. "Old habits I suppose."
"I'm your husband now, it's time to form new habits, don't you agree?" Otabek raised a brow at him.
"We'll have to," Yuri chuckles.
"The ceremony was nice, I thought."
"Indeed."
"You looked worried… walking down the aisle. It made me a bit nervous, I'll admit."
"You? Nervous?" Yuri chuckles, "You're the great commander of the northern army, conqueror and redeemer of your nation. And your wedding day made you nervous?"
Otabek blushes fiercely at the accusation. "I just… don't want you to be uncomfortable."
"I accepted your proposal, Otabek," Yuri whispers and he watches as the man before him glows at the use of his name. "Yours and no one else's. This is as much my choice as it is yours. Please don't forget that."
"I won't," Otabek promises tenderly.
Their dance comes to an end. They bow to one another and move on to their next partners: Yuri to King Hakan and Otabek to Viktor, surprisingly. It's no secret that King Yakov avoids such things as dancing at events and balls, but for Viktor to be given the go-ahead to take his place means that on some level, the king has forgiven him.
King Hakan seems to have nothing further to say to Yuri; they dance in relative silence as the music grows and builds around them. For his part, Yuri is quite pleased with this development, as at least the king doesn't feel the need to actively threaten him. That must mean he's done well, or at least, that's what he tells himself to bolster his confidence.
Once the dance floor opens to the rest of the party, Yuri finds himself inundated with guests congratulating him. He fends them off with smiles and thank-yous that feel less forced as the night wanes on. Even as he finds himself alone, with Otabek taken to the opposite side of the ballroom, he does not struggle to present himself well.
Then, about an hour into the thick of the festivities Viktor and Mr. Katsuki approach him.
"Yura! It's been too long." Viktor beams at him, "Congratulations on your marriage, baby brother, you two make a handsome couple."
"Thank you, Vitya." Yuri gives a tense nod.
"Congratulations, your highness. I hope you will find much happiness in the years to come." Mr. Katsuki does not meet his gaze as he bows to the younger boy.
"I'm certain you do," he snarks at him.
"Come now, you must dance with me! It's your wedding day and I should hate to not have lavished you in your well-deserved praises." Viktor reaches for Yuri's hand.
The young prince recoils from his brother. "I think I should find my husband, actually. I haven't seen him in some time."
"You have the rest of your life for that, Yura. But you are about to leave me here alone with Papa! We must dance." Viktor insists.
Valiantly, Yuri resists the urge to punch his brother for such a comment. Viktor seems to have elected to forget that he was the first to abandon Yuri with their father.
"Fine." Yuri grinds his teeth and forces a smile through his acceptance.
"Wonderful!" Viktor sweeps his younger brother into a hug and onto the dance floor. "It's been too long Yura! I've missed you so much."
"Have you really?" Yuri asks with a pinched expression of disbelief.
"Of course I have! It's been so terrible to be away from you."
"Clearly not," Yuri scoffs.
Viktor gives a long sigh as their dance begins. "I know that this hasn't been easy for you-"
"Do you? What do you know about all of this? You weren't here."
"No I wasn't, I did what I had to do."
"You cannot be serious." Yuri groans, "At my wedding you want to make this about you. You and your turmoil, you and your anguish, you and your duty. As if you haven't shirked your responsibilities and made my life go up in flames."
There's a pause as Viktor seems to collect himself. "You look happy with Otabek."
"Don't call him that, you don't get to call him that. You don't know him. I barely know him."
"Then why did you choose to go forth with this marriage?" Viktor asks, "You did choose him, didn't you?"
Yuri doesn't know how to respond to that, "I didn't choose anything, if you must know. Just because I accepted his proposal does not mean that this was my choice."
"You mean to tell me that papa chose him for you?" Viktor's gaze turns to calculative and it lights a fire in him.
"Of course papa chose him for me, do you really think he would have thrown me to the wolves after you abandoned us?" Yuri comments, getting a rise out of Viktor in response. The older man hardens his gaze at his brother. "I would have been a fool to attempt securing a match on my own. You may be blind to this fact, willingly or otherwise, but society is an unforgiving bitch."
"Are you unhappy in this arrangement then? If you are in anyway frightened or upset by the match-"
"Shut up," Yuri growls.
"Regardless of your feelings towards me, I am your older brother and I will protect you."
"You've done such a good job of that." Yuri snarks at him, "You don't seem to know when to stop casting stones. You and your little fiancé don't get to intervene in this, you've done enough."
"I can't help who I love-"
"But you could have helped your impulses and you didn't."
"What is it that you want me to tell you then?"
"You're so absurd, honestly. I can't believe I have to spell this out for you," Yuri growls at him. "Because apparently your bullshit romantic fantasies are worth more to you than the kingdom. And they are most definitely worth more to you than your relationship with me."
"Yu-"
"You keep going on and on about how love is worth fighting for… but you don't love me that much. You don't love me enough to protect me or fight for my happiness. So I think I'm entitled to my pettiness and my fury; because you have made it very clear that I am not worth your time."
"That's not true, I do love you." Viktor says it so earnestly that in another world Yuri might bring himself to believe him.
"But you don't… you don't love me enough and it would be easier for the both of us if you would just admit that." Yuri huffs as he continues; "You don't get to decide how you are perceived when you come in and out of someone's life, Vitya. That's not fair to me or Papa or the kingdom. You don't get to decide that my suffering is unworthy of your guilt because you 'didn't mean to hurt me.' I still suffered because of you. Papa and the kingdom suffered because of your ineptitude and carelessness."
"I didn't want to hurt anyone," Viktor says meekly.
"No, but you did anyway."
"Yura, I… I know that I could have… and you have been so strong for so many-"
"Are you daft? I don't want to be strong," Yuri hisses at him. "I don't want to keep carrying the weight of this family alone, but I have to. I have married into a dangerous family, I'll be shipped across a border by myself at the end of the week, and tonight…"
Viktor pulls his brother in a bit tighter, "Oh Yura-"
"I don't want to be brave; I want to disappear. You got to do that, but I am not afforded the same opportunity."
"It will be alright."
"You cannot promise me that."
"If he hurts you-"
"Let me rephrase, you will not do anything to him. He is my husband now, I am his and he is mine, regardless of our feelings on the matter."
"It's my job as your brother to keep you safe."
"And look how well you accomplished that thus far."
"Listen to me, Yura, regardless of your feelings now I care for you as deeply as I always have and I mean what I say. I have already made my opinions of your previous engagement known to the vile man who slighted you and I've nothing to gain from lying to you now."
Yuri bites back a laugh, "What did you do to Lord Leroy?"
"I made him feel unwelcome." Viktor says it darkly, not an ounce of humor to his tone. "That is beside the point. What I need you to understand is that… I'm sorry, truly. I am. But please do not fear me, you can always come to me regardless of your needs. I will help you and I will ensure your safety. That is a vow I will never betray."
"And you expect me to believe that? After all you've done?"
"I expect that, whether you want it to or not, the truth of it lives in your heart."
The song ends, the pair bow to each other and go their separate ways; Viktor back to his beloved and Yuri back towards the balcony.
"What a drama king," Yuri mutters to himself.
"I hope that means you've made amends." Lord Otabek's chuckles jolt Yuri out of his sulking.
"Something similar I suppose."
"That's quite generous of you, to be so forthcoming with your forgiveness."
"That's not a praise I've been given often." Yuri laughs.
"No?" Otabek smirks, "Well then, perhaps you've grown some."
"Some." Yuri nods half-heartedly. "I saw you dance with your mother. Is he enjoying himself?"
"Indeed." Otabek nods, dropping his gaze to the floor.
"And you? Are you well?"
"Well? Yes." Otabek takes in a breath before raising his head. "Excuse me."
He passes by Yuri without so much as a glance towards him. Yuri tries to follow him with his gaze but is interceded by Phichit and Chris.
"There's the newlywed!" Phichit chuckles, embracing the younger man. "Ugh, you're so grown up I cannot bear it! I remember when we met and you were just a darling little boy; now look at you."
"Congratulations again, Yura. I hope you've been enjoying your event; we certainly have." Chris tries not to laugh at his husband's antics.
"I am glad to hear it." Yuri nods to them.
"We saw you dance with Viktor," Phichit informs him. "It was most kind of you to indulge him that way."
"Well, I couldn't rightly say no to the future king." Yuri rolls his eyes. "Speaking of which… have you heard any whispers about him speaking with Lord Leroy?"
Phichit gasps, "Haven't you heard? He all but disavowed Georgi as a member of your family. It was… quite the scene."
"It was thrilling to watch his lordship be brought down a few pegs this afternoon. Did you notice that they were even sat on your husband's side at the church? The gall of them!" Chris adds with a touch of annoyance.
"Didn't your father invite them out of politeness?" Phichit asks.
"Papa most certainly did not invite them." Yuri balks at the comment.
"Then perhaps your husband knows Lord Leroy from somewhere?" Phichit offers an explanation.
"Doubtful, considering Lord Leroy has his head shoved so far up his ass he can't see shit." Yuri scoffs.
"Language, your highness!" Chris laughs.
"Speaking of my husband, have you seen him? I was just having a conversation with him and he seems to have escaped."
"My, my, you seem to like that term," Phichit teases. "Your husband has you so enthralled already?"
"Th-that's not it!" Yuri claims with a bright blush.
"I believe he's over there." Chris points him out. Otabek is standing at attention in a group of people that Yuri does not know, looking every inch a soldier. "That's his father's advisor there, if I'm not mistaken. The man to his immediate right is his former second in command, and that man right there is his father's first lieutenant."
Yuri's heart drops to the deepest pit of his stomach. "Ah… it seems he is occupied then."
"Not so much, I'm sure you could pull him away. In fact, he might even appreciate such a gesture," Phichit goads him with a laugh.
"I think I should be looking for my father, if you'll excuse me." Yuri ducks out of the conversation and hurries back off towards a secluded corner of the party; a parlor with a piano and little else that is abandoned by the guests.
Yuri takes a seat on the sofa and takes in a deep breath. The night is waning; he'll be expected to leave the reception some time before midnight, which looms ever closer. And then… he has a duty to perform. That duty scares him so deeply he feels it in his soul. How is he meant to survive this?
"Your highness?" He glances up to see Guang-Hong hovering by the door.
"Guang! It is… good to see you. Are you enjoying the festivities?"
"To a point, your highness, I am working as I'm sure you're aware." Guang-Hong steps into the room further.
"Yes but you should enjoy yourself. The servants are also indulging this evening I've heard."
"Some of us yes," Guang-Hong nods. There's a moment where the pair are silent, and it is the attendant that speaks first. "You know why I'm here, highness."
"I know," Yuri all but whispers.
"We should… be off." Guang-Hong offers him a hand and a sympathetic smile.
"I know, you're right." Yuri swallows thickly.
"It will be over soon."
"And then what?" Yuri asks, his voice catching in his throat.
Guang-Hong shakes his head, "I've never been married. I couldn't say."
"Right." Yuri nods and stands beside his maid. "Let's be off…"
"His lordship has just left the ballroom as well."
"Good… that's good." Yuri barely breathes as they climb the stairs.
The pair enter Yuri's bedroom, and Guang-Hong grabs the silky sleep clothes that are meant for… well, not sleeping. Swallowing the rise of bile in the back of his throat, Yuri allows his attendant to change him. The prince is deliberate in avoiding the mirror, however, too worried that his image will frighten the last bit of his courage out of his body.
"I don't know what else to say, highness," Guang-Hong says as he removes the florals from Yuri's hair.
"Then perhaps it is best not to speak." Yuri clutches his own hands, still averting his gaze from the mirror.
"I want to offer you comfort or encouragement. I do think it will not be so bad as you envision it."
"From what I've been told… if it is not bad that is a worse sign," Yuri says bitterly.
"Then… Then I know you will brave it well," Guang-Hong says with a blush.
Yuri reaches up and holds his attendant's hand, "You've been good to me, Guang… I will… I will miss you."
"This is not goodbye, your highness. Not yet."
Despite his disbelief, Yuri nods. "I know."
"I think you're ready."
Yuri shuts his eyes as tightly as he can, secretly hoping that he might wake up to find all of this to have been a particularly vivid nightmare.
Guang-Hong wraps him up in a robe and helps him down to the chambers he will be sharing with his husband. When he arrives, the first lieutenant is already sat there, stationed in a far corner of the room looking particularly bored. The bed is turned down already and Yuri would very much like to sleep. All things considered, it has been a long day and he slept very poorly the previous night.
Once he slips out of his dressing gown and hands it off to Guang-Hong, the servant leaves the room. Yuri feels particularly exposed as he sits on the edge of the bed; he pulls his knees to his chest as if to comfort himself or shield his body from the man nearby.
For an eternity and a half, Yuri sits in silence, internally encouraging himself to commit to whatever should happen this night.
When the door opens Yuri nearly yelps. Instead he finds himself looking up at the door and he feels his body still. Otabek looks nervously at the floor, bare-chested and gorgeous as he closes the door behind him.
"Otabek." Yuri breathes the name, his knees slipping down the edge of the bed. His gaze shoots up from the ground onto the prince's figure. Yuri is relieved to see him so frightened, it makes him feel… like he isn't alone.
Yuri adjusts on the bed and holds out a hand to his husband. "Come here."
Otabek approaches slowly, his gaze weary and his hands shaking as he takes Yuri's. "You… you look lovely."
With a chuckle Yuri brings Otabek's hand to his lips. "I'm glad you think so."
"Yuri…"
"Will you kiss me?" He asks, lifting his face towards Otabek.
"Do…" Otabek swallows thickly, Yuri can't help but watch the bob of his Adams apple. "Do you want me to?"
"Yes." Yuri answers. It isn't a lie, he thinks with a glimmer of pride, as he tilts his head back awaiting the crash of his lips against Otabek's.
Instead of a heated passion, the kiss is just as gentle as all the others. One might even call it tentative, but Yuri leans into Otabek's lips, hoping to give his husband a bit of his own courage. The prince takes to slipping off his shirt in an attempt to coax Otabek further into a state of ease.
Otabek pulls away, just a touch, tilting Yuri's jaw with a forefinger and smiling at him. Yuri smiles back, he raises a hand up to the back of Otabek's neck and intends to pull him back in when the man's expression darkens.
For a second, Yuri worries that perhaps his husband is not as gentle as he previously had assumed he would be. Then his lordship backs away from Yuri and snarls at the man in the corner of the room.
"Get out." He spits. The man remains in his seat, looking at his lordship with a tired, irritated expression. "Did you not hear me? I said leave, that's an order."
"Otabek-"
"I will handle this." His lordship scolds Yuri. The prince recoils as his husband stalks ever closer to the lieutenant. "You will leave us, now."
Yuri pulls himself to the foot of the bed, "Otabek please, let's just-"
"I will not have him here." Otabek states with a particularly cold scowl tossed over his shoulder for good measure.
Desperation surges through Yuri as he stands from the bed. "You must-"
Otabek gawks at the prince. "My job as your husband is to protect you, and I am going to do so. I will not have this man sit here and watch us… You can't seriously want him here."
"He has to be here."
"Bullshit."
"If you send him away it will be a stain on me!" Yuri digs deep inside of his soul for the right words to convince his lordship of the dire circumstance they find themselves in. "If you send him away your father will think there's something wrong with me. They could think that I'm impure or that we haven't consummated our relationship or… They will think less of me. This isn't about you so stop acting like it."
Otabek takes a step back, looking offended and enraged all at once. "What is… what?"
"Leave him be… just…" Yuri tries to reach for his hand, but Otabek pulls away.
"You want him to watch us? Are you serious?"
"Do you not want to fuck me, Otabek?" Yuri asks harshly, steeling his gaze as his emotions boil over. "Is that it? Do you find me so repulsive or-or-or childish that you cannot or will not touch me?"
Otabek blinks at him in surprise, "That is not-"
"Because I know you aren't pure, I know you've lain with prostitutes before me, and I know you had no problem fucking those common whores. So, what is so wrong with me that you won't touch me? Am I too pure for you? Is it too decent or respectable to fuck your own husband?" Yuri gets as close to Otabek's face as he dares; his anger is righteous, and his glare is unrelenting. His lordship glares back with equal fire but still seems taken aback.
When Otabek makes no immediate move Yuri continues to bait him. "If you have to pretend I'm a whore, then so be it. Fuck me like one of your whores and just get it over with. Bend me over the bed, don't look me in the eye, do whatever it is you have to do but at the very least, man up."
A chord is struck somewhere in that last statement as Yuri sees a flare behind Otabek eyes. He is suddenly overcome with that wash of fear once more as Otabek lifts him off the ground and throws him on the bed. Yuri schools his features, not willing to let this man sense his terror; and maybe part of him isn't so afraid as he was previously.
This has to happen anyway, and it has to be now; Otabek has almost jeopardized everything and that infuriates him. Yuri knows what's being asked of him and he's frightened, but he's not a child. He's a married man now and he has a duty to perform. He has taken his fate in his own hands by baiting his lordship and he will take whatever comes next.
Otabek makes a low, angry sound as he climbs on top of Yuri; his body dwarfs the younger man's as he leans in for a harsh kiss. The impact makes Yuri's teeth hurt but he doesn't back away. He doesn't squirm and he doesn't fight the contact, he gives the last bit of himself away to his husband without a second thought.
Yuri tries to reach up and lock his hands behind Otabek's neck, but Otabek takes his hands and pins them above his head.
"If you want to act like a whore then I will treat you like one," Otabek growls in his ear.
Yuri lets out a stuttering gasp, both exhilarated and a little frightened of the beast he's released.
"Yes, sir." Yuri breathes out as if on instinct; he's a little embarrassed to have done so but Otabek doesn't seem to notice. He's too busy pressing his mouth back against Yuri's and ripping the seams of the prince's pants.
Yuri feels his body tremble in shock as the cool night air assaults his skin; he shuts his eyes and keeps his hands firmly above his head as Otabek retracts his own hands from Yuri's wrists. He feels Otabek's hand gripping his thigh, he pulls and squeezes the skin until Yuri is certain he'll be bruised in the morning.
There's a brief pause where Yuri is certain Otabek slips out of his pants as when he returns the skin of his thighs prickle against something warm and rough. Otabek bites down on Yuri's lip, eliciting a strangled gasp that could be mistaken for a sharp moan of pleasure.
Otabek's knee jams into Yuri's thigh and pushes the limb out of his way. His hand grabs Yuri's and forces the prince to wrap his hand around the older man's penis. Otabek pulls Yuri's hand with his; the muscle is long and thick, more so than Yuri had been anticipating. It makes him worried, but he does not reveal that inner turmoil.
Yuri opens his eyes to look into the dark, furious gaze of his husband; there's ire and anguish mixed together so thoroughly Yuri wonders if that is the true demon that lives inside of him. Yuri chastises himself for bringing out whatever horror lives within a man who has had cities fall before his feet.
Otabek releases his penis and pulls up on Yuri's hips to expose his anus. His lordship tries to enter Yuri's body but the opening is too tight. The prince swallows his fear as tries to relax, but as Otabek attempts to push in once more he can only let out a groan.
Suddenly, Otabek shoves two of his fingers into Yuri's mouth, and without a word he swirls his fore and middle fingers around Yuri's tongue. Then he pulls them out and shoves them into his ass. Yuri gasps again, this time sharply and much more obviously in pain.
His lordship stretches the tight skin, for no longer than ten seconds before removing them and thrusting the entire length of himself into the prince. Yuri cries out, a crackling, broken sound that he is ashamed he makes. He's too scared to try and pull Otabek back to his lips so he hangs limply in his lordship's arms.
Yuri feels his body tensing and stuttering in pain as Otabek bucks his hips. Otabek kneads the pliant skin of Yuri's ass, his moans are quiet and short but full of ferocity; all things considered, he makes quick work of the whole affair.
The tightness in Yuri's lower body is overwhelming but he doesn't do anything to stop it. Part of him wants to beg for it to be over, part of him wants to try and salvage the situation with tender kisses and sweetly whispered praises. But he knows he's well and truly ruined this whole experience now, so he takes his punishment in stride.
When Otabek cums, Yuri is relieved that it's over. Otabek's penis goes limp and soon the pressure inside of him alleviates. He feels the warm blood and semen mixing together against his thighs and he won't pretend that doesn't unsettle him; but he also isn't about to be ungrateful that the ordeal is over.
Yuri is not lowered to the bed as he expected, however; instead he is pulled to his feet and pushed to the side. Unfortunately he can barely stand; his vision blurs as he falls to the floor, collapsing in a heap and hissing in pain. The duvet is thrown at him and it's all Yuri can do to cover his naked, trembling form.
Otabek yanks the bloodied sheets off the bed, balls them up, and throws them at the first lieutenant.
"It's done, now take it and leave, damn you," Otabek snarls.
Yuri doesn't stay to witness what happens next; he stumbles into the adjoining washroom and closes the door, gripping the blanket around his waist. He raises a shaking hand to cover his mouth and he lets out a muffled, brutal sob.
Gathering what's left of his dignity and courage, Yuri hobbles over to the basin and washes himself. The warm water stings against his cold skin and the caked blood requires some scrubbing to wash away. When he's nearly ready to return to his bed chambers he looks in the mirror, disgusted with himself for the way in which he forced this altercation.
What kind of sick person acts like this? What kind of husband is he, to have insulted and berated his husband on their wedding night into taking him like that? He thinks about the cruelty of King Hakan's words, about Otabek savaging him, and Yuri despises how right that sentiment was. Moreover, he hates that he is the cause of such a thing, that he forced his lordship into such a profound rage.
Fearing that the image of himself might make him physically ill, Yuri turns from the mirror and leans heavily on the wall beside him. He takes agonizingly slow steps towards the exit, still hesitant to return to face the nightmare he's created for himself.
He opens the door and sees Otabek putting together something of a bed on the sofa before the hearth. His lordship has redressed, insofar as to be wearing his trousers once more and is now unfolding a blanket to lay out on the settee. Yuri finds his voice cracking as he brings himself to speak.
"What… what are you doing?" He asks meekly.
Otabek does not look up at him as he speaks, "Making up a bed for the evening."
"You-you have a bed," Yuri says lamely.
"I will sleep here." Otabek's voice is stern as he throws a pillow onto the sofa.
"I-… I don't understand."
"I don't want to make you anymore uncomfortable this night, your highness," Otabek says ruefully.
Yuri's heart shatters at that admittance; his throat tightens and a sob breaks out of his chest.
"I-… I'm sorry." Yuri startles Otabek into looking at him. "Please don't… you shouldn't-"
"You-"
"Please don't abandon me!" Yuri collapses to his knees, the pain in his body and the wound to his heart are suddenly all consuming and too much to bear. His lordship hurries to Yuri's side but hesitates to put his hands on the crying figure before him.
"Your highness?"
"Don't call me that! Please don't call me that, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" Yuri weeps into the blanket as if it is his only shield against the world.
"You have nothing to apologize for." Otabek shakes his head, in awe of the scene he's witnessing.
Yuri lets out a frantic plea in the midst of his sobbing. "I know I shouldn't have said what I did and-and-and I know we shouldn't have- but I didn't want- I'm sorry, Otabek, I'm sorry! I know I push people and I know I hurt you and I didn't mean to, but we had to do this, and I don't want harm my family's name and I didn't- I didn't want to hurt you and I did, I know I did-"
"Yuri it's alright." Otabek cups Yuri's face, tenderly guiding his gaze up. Yuri sees the plainness of Otabek's concern in his features, there's is a mix of shock and heartbreak as he speaks. "It's alright, truly. I know we had a duty and I know… I didn't want to hurt you."
"I made you do it and I'll never say I'm sorry enough." Yuri cries, leaning his head onto Otabek's chest.
"You have nothing to apologize for." Otabek attempts to console him.
"I touched a nerve, I know I did, and I'm sorry. But if your father had any reason to doubt my purity, I don't know what I'd do."
Otabek pulls his husband to his chest, "You don't worry about my father, I will deal with him, he is not your concern."
Yuri whimpers, "I just wanted to be perfect for you."
"Yuri-"
"And I know that I shouldn't have been so crass and I shouldn't have provoked you. I know I don't deserve you, but I panicked! I shouldn't have acted so abhorrently or spoken so obscenely; I hurt you and I know that and I'm sorry!"
"Please-"
"I just don't want you to hate me, I'll never forgive myself for it but that idea of you rejecting me cut so deeply it made me want to die."
"Stop it!" Otabek presses his forehead to Yuri's. "Hush now, I am not angry with you."
"You should be." Yuri sputters out the sentence with a cough.
"No, I should not be, and I am not." Otabek reiterates, "You were frightened and I… I never want you to fear me. That's the last thing I want."
"I'm not afraid of you, I'm-… I'm afraid of them. Of everyone else, because I have to be perfect."
"Not here, not here and not now; all I ask of you is to be sincere with me." Otabek gently hushes his husband.
"I don't deserve you… I was so cruel."
"Don't say such a thing… I don't know where you got it in your head that you are any less deserving of love, but it's not true. You deserve kindness and compassion, the same as everyone else. It was my fault for my own actions, for lashing out at Gerel and then at you. For my part, I can only beg for your forgiveness; I treated you so terribly and I hurt you."
"It's my fault. It's all my fault and I know that it is."
"Yuri, please, darling." Otabek pulls Yuri's chin so that they are once more looking into one another's eyes. "My actions are not your fault, I chose to do what I did and for that I am sorry. In my desperation to prove myself a worthy and capable husband I hurt you. That is my transgression, not yours, you must not take responsibility for that."
At a loss of anything else to say Yuri meekly responds, "It… It was meant to hurt… that's… that's what your mother said."
Otabek shakes his head, "That's not… he's wrong and he should not have said that to you."
"I just wanted you to want me," Yuri admits, covering his face in shame. He's so deeply embarrassed by his own ineptitude that he cowers away from the man before him.
"I'm sorry… I never intended to make you feel unwanted. That wasn't my objective at all." Otabek pulls him into his arms and peppers his head with soft, sweet kisses. "I would never reject you. I will never reject you and I am so sorry to have even suggested the notion."
"I've… I've spent so much of my life being cast aside… A second son… A little brother who doesn't know when to shut his damn mouth… I'm used to being an afterthought, I can't… I won't be able to bear it if that continues into my marriage." Yuri holds onto his husband in a desperate attempt to hide his humiliation; he's certain his face is swollen with tears and he can feel the burning of blush over his features.
"And you won't be, I promise. I promise that everything I do will be for you, my darling one."
"I'm sorry I pushed you."
"Never mind about that." Otabek brushes a knuckle across Yuri's cheek. "I have… I have a fear in my heart as well, you are not alone in that."
"And I provoked that in you." Yuri clutches Otabek's middle even tighter.
"No, darling, you saw the worst part of me… the part that I hate."
"The warlord?"
"My father." Otabek says through gritted teeth. "My… I've been told all my life that I am just like him. I've always despised that thought. I don't want to be like him, I don't want to be cruel or calculating or someone to fear. Good lord, nothing frightens me more than the idea that you might be afraid of me."
"I'm not!" Yuri proclaims, pulling out of his husband's arms so that he might see the earnestness behind his eyes. "I'm not afraid of you, I'm desperate for you. There's nothing I want more than to be loved by you. I want… I want you."
Otabek's eyes are tender as he wipes Yuri's face of tears. "I want you too, I want to love you and give you a good life. I want to make you happy."
Yuri chuckles regretfully, "How many more of our firsts am I going to beg you to forget?"
His lordship lets out a laugh, "I won't forget any of it."
"That's not the comfort you imagine it to be." Yuri laughs again.
"Meeting you was a whirlwind and so too has this been. We will always have our difficulties and our struggles; some of which will be more monumental than others. But we must not forget our hardships, they will shape us as much as our triumphs."
"You're too kind to me…" Yuri says bashfully.
"That isn't possible."
"After everything I've done?"
"I'm made of sterner stuff than that," Otabek reminds him with a smile.
"I do think I love you. I don't care what has happened between us or how little we truly know each other. I think I love you and I like it that way."
It is Otabek's turn to blush in response, "Then might I return the sentiment? And say I love you too."
"Only if it is your desire and not my pathetic whimpering that has sparked it."
"You are many things. I would not say that pathetic is even in your vocabulary." Otabek leans forward and pecks the top of Yuri's head.
"Kiss me," Yuri demands thinly. "Really kiss me, please."
Otabek complies, slowly cradling the prince's face and kissing his lips with the tenderness of painter's hand on a watercolor piece.
"You must be tired, darling. Let's get you settled in bed." Otabek moves to stand but is stopped by Yuri's hand gripping his bicep.
"You'll lie with me, won't you? I couldn't bear it if you spent our first night as a couple sleeping on the sofa."
"If you will have me-"
"I want you with me."
"Then you shall have me," Otabek vows, prying Yuri's hand from his arm and kissing the tips of his fingers.
Otabek moves about the room, procuring a tunic for Yuri to slip on; the fabric nearly swallows him whole and he's grateful for it. So very grateful. His lordship takes the blanket he was spreading out on the settee and lies it on the bed. He replaces the pillows to their place and then returns to his husband.
"Can I… do you need help?" He asks, clearly ashamed that it is even a question.
Yuri nods with a whispered, "Please."
His lordship attempts to help Yuri stand but the prince stumbles as he stands, the shooting pain between his legs is a shocking reminder of what transpired not even an hour ago. Sweeping him into his arms, Otabek cradles his husband and walks him the remaining paces to their bed.
"It's been a long day." Yuri sighs as his body hits the plush mattress. He nearly melts into it on contact, and were he not so exhausted, he might be embarrassed by that notion.
"It has… It has," Otabek agrees, rounding the bed and nestling into the empty half of it.
Yuri turns towards him, trying not to grimace as he goes, and holds onto Otabek's hand.
"You're my husband now."
"And you're mine." Otabek smiles gently in return.
"I do love you, please never doubt that."
"I won't."
"I will spend the rest of my life in an effort to help you be a great man. I want for nothing but your happiness," Yuri vows, pressing Otabek's hand to his lips.
"I will protect you, my darling one, I will protect you and ensure that you are cared for all the days of your life. I will love you until my breath leaves my body."
Yuri chuckles, "Perhaps we should have written our own vows… these are much better than the words we gave to a crowd earlier."
Otabek raises a hand to Yuri's jaw, "These are our words. They're for us and no other."
"I love you, my husband."
"And I love you."
Yuri pulls himself in for another kiss; there's a confidence within him that he is terrified will fade away if he does not act on it. He lingers there until Otabek pulls away.
"Rest. You need your rest."
"Hmm." Yuri hums in agreement but does not move from his lordship's side. Otabek takes the opportunity to thread his fingers through Yuri's hair and tug him into an embrace.
Yuri revels in the warmth of being held by the man he calls husband. He listens to the steady beat of his heart and finds comfort in being totally surrounded by him. Otabek's muscles flex as he attempts to coax Yuri into a more comfortable position, but the prince is convinced he's never been more comfortable (nor so tired) in all his life.
He is, after all, in the arms of a man who wants for nothing but his happiness. He's in the arms of a man who can and will protect him from the outside world. And here in this space, regardless of circumstance or reason, he feels loved.
So very loved.
Despite that love feeling foreign and maybe even a little bit taboo, he relishes in it. He falls asleep with that thought and he will not apologize for it.
I'm sick of losing soulmates; Won't be alone again;
I can finally see you're as fucked up as me; So how do we win?
