Authors Note: Hi all, I just wanted to say thanks again for supporting me, I also have some news this note. My best friend CatSpeaker (you can find him in my favorites list.) asked for permission to write the 18+ NSFW scene that transpired between chapters 12-13, I gave my approval for it and it's already been posted as of last night and is titled "That Night." I thank him from the bottom of my heart and thank everyone who has been continuously supportive.
Lynn was feeling far better for the moment, like another weight had been torn off of her back, the rest of the school day at that point was eerily peaceful for Lynn, after that moment with Lincoln under the bleachers, she had found herself getting through classes with minimal talking from the split personalities, she had no clue as to why however. Although Lynn had been spending anytime in between classes with her friends instead of Lincoln, reassuring them that nothing was wrong and that she had merely been going through a truly rough week, however the brunette had no means of convincing Clyde otherwise, she outright avoided him and left that task of calming the bespectacled boy down to Lincoln.
After school let out, Lincoln had invited Lynn to go somewhere so they could talk, she eagerly accepted of course, simply glad they were talking without a depressing subtext behind the conversation, sadly she knew this was going to be far from a simple conversation. Lincoln had taken his 5th oldest sister to the park, both because he knew how much she liked it there, and because the colder weather tended to make it all the more peaceful.
Lincoln and Lynn were sat on one of the benches, the white-haired boy had been mostly silent while listening to his older sister explain to him everything that had been going on at home during his absence. The auburn-haired girl could tell that her brother was having a lot of mixed emotions, the aspiring sports star knew one thing for certain, he was nothing but happy with the news of becoming a dad, it took a lot of the stress off of her just knowing Lincoln was more than willing to be involved in their unborn child's life.
"So... Mom, Dad, Luna and Lisa all know about you being pregnant?" Lincoln had to ask for clarity, it had been a lot to take in, it made him scared of that future conversation with any of his family members about the pregnancy, the bucktooth boy knew not everyone was going to be happy about it, he would find a way to convince their siblings if any disagreed with their decisions, the middle Loud child simply hated knowing the turmoil his family had been put through as of late because of the split personalities.
"Mom and Dad told me it was our choice, I think Lisa sees it like another experiment... Oh, and Luna wanted to strangle me, not because of the baby but because of what the obsessed voice did to us." Lynn tried to summarize, taking a shot in the dark as to why Lisa did not seem to actually mind all that much, talking about Luna reminded the aspiring sports star of something, she reached down towards her backpack that was by her feet, pulling out the gift for Lincoln.
"Here, it's a present." Lynn presented the video game to Lincoln, he smiled happily as he took it, looking down at the box art warmly.
"I'd been meaning to buy that, I guess it just slipped my mind." Lincoln commented, he remembered when it first came out he had no luck in his efforts at buying it, every store had seemingly been out of copies, the teenage boy not being a big fan of digital only gaming he opted into just waiting for a while until more copies came out.
"How'd you know I wanted this?" Lincoln chirped curiously; the RPG game had been a remaster of an old game from his childhood, the original had been on his old home console that was a Christmas present from Lori, it brought back a lot of fond memories for Lincoln, recalling all the time he spent playing it.
"I had to ask Clyde for help on that one. There's a present from Luna for you in it too." Lynn responded while leaning back on the bench they sat upon, her little brother quirked an eyebrow, he opened the video game case and saw a short note inside of it, Lincoln took it out and examined it "Your first pay for your years of hard work is hidden in a shoebox in the top of your closet." The note read, below that writing from Luna was the amount of money that had been left, it caused his eyelids to shoot wide open.
"Wow, that's two more 0s than I expected." Lynn whistled, impressed at the number written down, she knew Luna had stuffed the note into the game's case, though the aspiring sports star had no clue on the exact amount of cash she had intended to give Lincoln until now.
"I know you said she won the competition, but this is a lot! What did I even do to deserve this?" Lincoln questioned in disbelief while turning his head to the pregnant girl, she was surprised, he was more upset about being given a large sum of money than he had been about her pregnancy, it made Lynn chuckle as she brushed aside the flattery she felt.
"I think that's money from the whole band, you have been working as their manager for free for, what, three or four years now?" Lynn asked, the young boy gave a slow nod, he wanted to return the money right away, but knew it would just turn into an infinite back and forth between him and their rock loving sister.
"Yeah." Lincoln nodded, having not really thought about it before now, he stuffed the note away in his pocket, feeling bad for accepting it, but he was not thinking for himself anymore. "It'll be a nice nest egg in case we need it." The teenage boy decided, he leaned forward with his hands on his knees, there was a topic in the air between them that he had been wanting to talk about for a long time, Lincoln just doubted his auburn-haired sister would enjoy talking about it.
"What are we going to do now?" Lincoln was blunt in his question, Lynn understood the subtext of his query, the only son of the Loud family recalled Lynn's practical love confession back when they were initially telling Lisa about the split personalities, how the brunette thought she had to have feelings for her only brother based on the obsessed personalities existence, that was the only logical answer the sporty Loud saw at the time, now they both wondered what this all meant for the two of them, Lincoln found himself having flashbacks to the night with the obsessed personality, the things it had said to him, it had stuck quite hard.
"I don't know, Linc. My first appointment with the psychologist is tomorrow, I'm going to just focus on dealing with the personalities for now." Lynn explained in a way that partially avoided his question, feeling like that was the only real option she had currently, beyond going through the motions of pregnancy, the aspiring sports star wanted to make sure every last one of these voices were gone before their child was born.
Lincoln felt sympathetic for her, though when she mentioned Clyde's name he was reminded of the cuts on her arm, the bucktoothed boy reached over and gently grabbed Lynn's right wrist with his hand. "Don't." The auburn-haired girl squeaked as she put her free hand over his own, weakly attempting to dissuade him from looking at the wounds.
"Lynn, let me see it, please." Lincoln requested, he had to see the injuries for himself. The brunette relented and retracted her hand when seeing that hurt look in his eyes, she watched as Lincoln slowly rolled up her right sleeve, being greeted by the gauze and bandaging wrapped around her forearm, the bucktoothed teenager could see it was stained red from blood, Lynn had accidentally made her arm bleed when she had crashed into another student in the hallway earlier today.
Lincoln felt his heartbeat slowing down upon peeling back the bandaging, seeing the nasty cut mark on her arm made his heart sink into his stomach, the snow haired boy found himself staring at the injury for a moment, he put the bandaging back and saw Lynn was not even looking at him, it was obvious how ashamed she was.
"Did you do this to yourself?" Lincoln requested she tell him the honest truth, he knew she would hurt herself if it meant silencing the depressed personality, it made his own guilt expand exponentially.
"I'm not even sure anymore." Lynn sighed out her reply, her only brother fixed her sleeve back, the sports loving girl did not say anything as she heard her brother getting his backpack and standing up. The brunette saw Lincoln offering his hand to her, she blinked in confusion while looking up to him.
"Come on, we can keep talking at home, I need to clean that injury." Lincoln insisted, between their current homes Leni's was further away, the middle Loud sibling did not want to let Lynn go off on her own because he knew she would most likely either leave that injury as a low priority, or outright forget to treat it entirely if something else came up and distracted her, plus the two of them had a lot they still needed to talk about, Lincoln wanted to talk to their parents as well.
Lynn hesitated momentarily before she placed her hand in Lincoln's, she was pulled off the bench and the two began to leave the park from there, though the young boy kept her hand firmly in his own, the brunette did not raise a complaint or resist, she enjoyed feeling Lincoln actively interacting with her again, although Lynn had a ton of her own questions in her head, yet she remained quiet, the aspiring sports star decided to enjoy this walk while they could.
"Does that mean you're moving back in?" Lynn asked in a hopeful tone, the white-haired teenager shook his head, looking to his older sister.
"No, I can't... Not yet." Lincoln replied, the auburn-haired girl felt a new sense of confusion washing over her.
"But why? Everyone misses you, and I... I need someone that can handle all of the voices, you're the best at it." Lynn confessed in shame that she needed Lincoln more than she wanted to admit, the 5th oldest Loud barely stopping herself short from saying she outright needed Lincoln, the part that did little to ease the sporty girl's confusion were her brother's own words from earlier today, about how he wanted to be there for them both.
"I'm sorry, I want to be someone you can depend on for the baby, it's just... What if the obsessed one comes back because I'm there? We don't even know if it's gone." Lincoln exclaimed his reasoning, not blaming his sister for being upset with him, but the bucktoothed teenager could not lie to her face, he did not feel safe at home, he still was worried about being a threat to his sisters, primarily her, the only reason Lincoln was going home with Lynn today was because he needed to treat her injury and talk to their parents face to face, as well as calling in an important favor from Lisa.
"He's scared of a part of us, he's trying to be brave right now but we can't push him, we already have put a large burden on his shoulders." The maternal split personality implored Lynn to relax, it was enough to make the sporty Loud pause for thought, was Lincoln simply shoving any fear into the depths of his heart while putting up a strong front for her sake? Lynn chewed on the inside of her mouth when taking that into consideration.
"What happens next between us, it's all up to him, you have to understand he is happy, but we have drastically altered the course of his life forever." Miss Lynn continued trying to calm Lynn down through speaking the truth, the sporty Loud did not respond to it while trying to consider Lincoln's perspective on this matter.
"Alright, Lincoln... You take as long as you need." Lynn agreed, hoping that the psychologist she was seeing tomorrow would be able to help ascertain as to whether or not the obsessed split personality was genuinely gone or not.
"Thanks Lynn." Lincoln appreciated her understanding; the white-haired teenager had been anticipating his 5th oldest sister to shout at him or perhaps get angry for being hesitant. For now, the two found themselves switching the conversation to mostly small talk topics, or other details that Lynn felt her brother needed to know about, the tenseness between the two of them began to fade gradually throughout the duration of their walk.
When they arrived back to the Loud house, Lincoln received a pretty warm welcome from his sisters that were home already, though many of them were saddened when informed he was only there for a visit and that was all. The first thing the white-haired teenager did was take his 5th oldest sister to his room so he could treat Lynn's injuries and change her bandages, the brunette felt embarrassed throughout the process for some reason, the aspiring sports star had to assume it was because they were glorified self-harm marks, letting anyone see them already made her ashamed to no end.
"Thanks Lincoln." Lynn weakly expressed her gratitude; the young boy could tell she was having just as many mixed emotions as he was currently.
"It's no problem." Lincoln replied, he felt bad for making her upset at all, being alone with her in his room made the middle Loud sibling's heart race as flashes of that night kept blinking in his mind, he had to force himself to remain calm.
"Hey little dude! It's great to see you back home!" The two suddenly heard from the open doorway, they could see Luna standing there, the aspiring rock star had been out and about, busily working on moving into her new place with Sam, the 3rd oldest Loud was pretty happy to see her brother back.
"Hey Luna, sorry but I'm just here to talk to Mom and Dad." Lincoln apologetically spoke, feeling bad for getting his older sister's hopes up like that, being aware that she was going to move out in a couple of days herself made him feel disheartened, the white-haired boy never took his family moving out that well, Lincoln always felt like he had to distract both himself and the younger half of his sisters from the increasing emptiness of the home.
"Oh... Well, can I talk to you two a second?" Luna asked her only brother and younger sister for a private talk, she had noted Lynn suddenly trying to pull down her sleeves to cover her injured arms, the rock loving Loud tried to brush past it since she felt this conversation was far more important.
"Sure." Lynn half-heartedly replied.
"Alright." Lincoln agreed, he sure couldn't say no to someone that had literally given him a lot of money, he had checked his closet to see if it was there, sure enough it was. The two remained quiet while watching as their third oldest sister closed the door to their only brother's room.
"Before I start, did uh... Did you break the news to him?" Luna attempted to inquire from the aspiring sports star, Lynn nodded, having not withheld the truth of the pregnancy at all from him. "You're taking it better than I expected ya to, little dude." The band leader confessed; she had anticipated Lincoln having a full-blown breakdown from the news of him becoming a father.
"Did you want to talk to us about it?" Lincoln tried to guess on what it was Luna wanted to discuss with them, the white-haired teenager had taken the pregnancy news very well, he did not have much of a reasonable explanation for it, the middle Loud sibling was simply overjoyed with the revelation that he was going to be a dad.
"Kind've? It's more about you two." Luna began while she pulled out the nearby computer chair, taking a seat in front of her younger siblings, they were not used to seeing Luna be serious like this. Lynn was already scared enough for what might happen tomorrow during her first meeting with the psychologist, she could only hope Lincoln's therapy appointment Wednesday would go alright as well.
"What about us?" Lynn quirked a brow while crossing her arms, she noticed Lincoln becoming nervous rather quickly, like something he had wanted to bring up had been hit on the head accidentally. Luna had already told her that she wanted to support Lincoln and the 5th oldest Loud, however the athletically inclined girl had to wonder what that really entailed.
"I mean what are you two going to do about your feelings?" Luna tried to bring up what she remembered being told by Miss Lynn, she could only extrapolate what was told to her, but the 3rd oldest Loud doubted her younger brother and sister were ever going to attempt to directly talk about their feelings. Lincoln and Lynn had already had sex, even if under the duress from a split personality, that already changed plenty even if they had not noticed said changes yet, the baby only made those changes increasingly impossible to ignore.
"I get it, it's a lot, but Lynn you were already asking me for advice about love, and Lincoln, everyone knows how close you two are, you have to admit there might be something bigger going on here between you two." Luna explained, using her own personal observations at best to nudge not-so-gently at the topic of how Lynn and Lincoln might feel for one another, Luna was attempting to act as a metaphorical bridge to gap the chasm of fear the two had towards the topic, the sporty Loud was feeling just as nervous as her brother now.
"Luna, y-you're not saying what I think you're saying." Lincoln gulped, he found it hard to believe that his 3rd oldest sister would condone anything of the sorts, it reminded him of Lisa studying their family bonds just to see which sibling his bond with might flourish into something more. Lynn kept quiet, she had ruined any potential relationship she could have with Clyde, she no longer wondered if that obsessed personality had existed due to some subconscious desire she had for Lincoln, it was easy to tell now that it was seemingly gone and the feelings remained stronger than ever.
"I am dude, and it's okay with me, love is a complicated thing." Luna replied while she leaned back in her seat, as much as she wanted to be against the idea of her siblings being together, the guitarist was a very firm believer when it came to love in many forms, Lincoln and Lynn were already having a child, if they did want to take things a different direction in their relationship, than there was no reason to truly hesitate anymore.
"I can't date her! I already have... Stella..." Lincoln's voice trailed off at the end when mentioning Stella's name, he buried his face in his hands when realizing his relationship with her was most likely doomed, the Loud boy would not blame the Zhau girl either, no one with any dignity would date someone that cheated on them the very night they had asked them on a date.
"I'm sorry Lincoln..." Lynn apologized when seeing him upset, she saw her brother shake his head as he tried to take a breath to calm down.
"We've ruined his life." The depressed personality made the aspiring sports star's head throb in pain, Lynn grabbed at one of the cuts on her arm through her sleeve, digging her thumb into it as a means to apply pressure painfully to silence the depressed voice, the other two did not notice it given it looked like she was just holding her arm from their perspective.
"I'm not saying you guys have to do anything, I'm saying that you need to at least talk about these feelings, otherwise they'll only get worse." Luna implored them to simply talk, that was the most important thing to the guitarist, the importance of conversing.
"There's no way we can make it work, practically everyone in town knows who we are, it's impossible." Lynn claimed, she wanted to take the pressure off of her brother, he already was aware of her own feelings. She was not exaggerating when she claimed the Loud family were rather well known throughout Royal Woods, they would not be able to do anything romantically in a pubic environment, nor their home given how nosy their family could be to any slight change in behavior.
"Well... I wouldn't say it's impossible." Luna sheepishly murmured, her brother and sister looking at her with equal looks of confusion on their faces. "I asked Lisa about it; you guys know Ohio is only like 30 minutes away from Royal Woods, right?" Luna pointed out to them, when she received no response from the two of them, she decided to clarify further. "Siblings dating is legal there."
"You asked Lisa about it?" Lynn repeated with a chuckle of disbelief, that sounded like the opposite of helping keep things under wraps, the 5th oldest Loud was now more uncertain than ever on her mixed feelings.
"Hey, it can't hurt to know. You two DO need to talk about your feelings though. Remember, the heart wants what it wants." Luna finished on that note, gently putting a reassuring hand on Lynn's shoulder for a moment, before standing up and beginning to head for the door, Luna needed to finish packing for the time being, she shut the door once more behind herself.
Lincoln was about to leave as well so he could go talk to Lisa, before he could however Lynn suddenly felt her body move on its own without any thought. Lynn wrapped her arms around Lincoln's upper body in a tight hug, she could feel how fast his heart was beating.
"Lincoln, please... You told me you couldn't imagine your life without any of us, I can't imagine my life without you either." Lynn exclaimed to her brother, she wanted to just whisper nothing but sweet apologies in his ear until he forgave her for what they did that night, the 5th oldest Loud sensed no hatred from Lincoln though.
"I do have feelings for you, I love you." Lynn managed to force the words past her vocal cords; not wanting to deny herself any longer, she had been having these thoughts for a long time, only recently did they become impossible to ignore.
The two remained motionless like this, that was not the first time he had heard those words leave her lips, it made him freeze up as he felt that night they had sex flash again in his mind. Lynn was waiting for any form of reaction at this point, she could not deny the fact that she was scared, Lincoln had stated how he wanted to be there for her and the baby, even if she doubted he meant it in a romantic way.
After what felt like an eternity, Lynn felt her brother's hand reach up and grab her own, his hand was shaking as he tried to take a breath to calm himself down. "I... Lynn, I need some time to think about this, okay?" Lincoln hesitantly looked over his shoulder to her, it was clear that he did not want to rush into anything when they were both so emotional, but the truth of the matter was the white-haired boy truly was unable to decide what he wanted.
Part of Lincoln was happy to hear Lynn say that, another part of him was screaming at him for being a disgusting monster for even getting a single spark of joy, he was not sure what to do, the only thing that made sense to the middle Loud child, was to request to have some time to think, time Lynn could use making sure the obsessed personality was gone, time she could use to get help for the other voices in her head.
Lincoln gently pried Lynn's arms off of himself, that gingerly touch of his barely did anything to console her. "You focus on yourself for now." He added before letting go of her hand and taking his leave, leaving the brunette standing there looking upset, Lynn knew she could do nothing further, their relationship was a pile of uneven rubble with an uncertain future about it, the aspiring sports star just hated knowing her family would inevitably find out the truth anyhow, she trembled imagining it.
"It's okay to cry if you want to, you might feel better." Miss Lynn's voice chimed up; Lynn shook her head when hearing that.
"Just be quiet, please." She replied while beginning to make her way to her room, she needed to change out of her clothes given the blood on one of her sleeves from before she had her bandaging changed. Lynn knew that what the maternal personality had said earlier was right, Lincoln chose what happened next, she had told him directly about her feelings, it did give her a vague glimmer of hope knowing he did not outright shut her out and shutdown subsequently, Lynn tried not to get her hopes too high however.
After that was all said and done, Lincoln had gone straight downstairs to talk to his parents, once again being alone with them in their bedroom for the sake of privacy, while Rita and Lynn Senior were happy to have their son visiting, they could tell right away that he was not in the best mental condition still.
"I'm sorry son, I know this is a lot to take in." Lynn Senior apologetically spoke, the parents of 11 oblivious to all that was truly going through their only son's head. The two had decided to leave the choice on what to do with the baby up to Lincoln and Lynn, they had made it readily apparent they would support whatever decision they make, although the Loud parents had been internally hoping that Lynn and Lincoln would reach an agreement, because they knew just how badly a disagreement over what to do could ruin any secrecy efforts.
"You can talk to us, honey, we're here for you." Rita put an arm around her son, trying to comfort him given the stress they believed him to be under, Lincoln wished the pregnancy news was the hard part, hearing Lynn confess her feelings for him, that made the middle Loud child feel so many different emotions that he could barely process them.
"I told Lynn I'll be there for the baby and her. I'm taking responsibility." Lincoln firmly stated to them both, he found himself instinctually hugging his mom, he had been missing everyone a lot more than he anticipated since moving into Leni's home, the bucktoothed boy understood Leni's loneliness far more now, going from a full house such as theirs to a near empty one was a jarring difference that no one could easily adjust to.
"We're proud of you for wanting to step up son, really, but are you sure this is what you want? A baby is a HUGE responsibility, I'm sure Lynn would understand if you didn't want to be involved with it." Lynn Senior had to ask, though it appeared his question struck a nerve, his son looked at him with a rather unnerving look, his eyes held a mixture of hurt and understanding at the words of his father.
"I've helped with Lola, Lana, Lily, Lisa, I've practically been a dad for a quarter of my life already." Lincoln retorted to his father, there was an odd sudden tension in the room that they could not explain, Lynn Senior chalked it up to having chosen his words poorly.
"I came home because Lynn needed her injuries treated... I'm not moving back in until we're sure that obsessed personality is gone." Lincoln explained, he did not know how long that would take, the more the bucktoothed teenager spoke the more he was looking forward to his own upcoming therapy appointment, the white-haired teenager sighed.
"I have a lot I need to think about. But we need to make sure she's safer.. I had an idea." Lincoln started, he wanted to prioritize Lynn Junior's safety for the time being, Rita and Lynn Senior looked to one another, they knew this was going to be a hard evening to get through, the Loud parents kept quiet and listened as their only son talked.
The rest of that evening had been mostly uneventful for Lynn, she had gotten through dinner, albeit rather lifelessly, the aspiring sports star was upset, she had finally got the words off her chest, only for them to not be reciprocated remotely at all. Lincoln had attempted to be as reassuring as possible to the pregnant girl; however, it had done little to minimize the pain she felt in her heart, now the sporty Loud thought she had only made things increasingly more complicated, or outright ruined everything.
The weirdest part for Lynn today, was the intermittence of her split personalities throughout the latter half of the day, it was like the voices were all as mentally exasperated as she was.
At the moment, she was currently in bed, facing the wall and slightly curled up under her blankets once more, she had gone to bed early again out of a desire to just sleep off her woes, there was a knocking at her door, the brunette ignored it as she heard the door to her and Lucy's room opening once more.
"Lynn? Are you currently conscious?" Lisa's voice caught her ears, Lynn sluggishly rolled over; Lucy was sat in her own bed working away on her poetry once more.
"What is it, Lisa?" Lynn half-heartedly replied, the bags under her eyes were quite prominent before the 2nd youngest Loud sister, Lisa held a small giftbox in her hand, it even had a tiny bow on it, the genius child cleared her throat.
"Lincoln came by my room earlier; he called in one of the favors I owed him." Lisa stated, she then held out the tiny present to her 5th oldest sister.
"He requested I give this to you, although it took longer to fix than I anticipated." She claimed, Lynn forced herself up with one arm, sitting up with confusion written on her face, she took the gift and gently pulled the lid of it off by the ribbon, she looked at the contents inside quizzically for a moment, she pulled out an all too familiar watch that had a small tag attached to it by a string.
"For the future #1 sports star of Royal Woods." The tag read on the gift, she took it off and stared down at it and the time telling instrument, that puzzled expression did not lessen any.
"His watch?" Lynn blinked, she hadn't seen Lincoln wearing it in quite some time, to her recollection it had been broken during the mugging weeks back, though now that event felt like it had transpired an eternity ago. The sports loving girl still could not believe how much things could change from a single event.
"Yes, he brought it to me before he left. He did request that I include a small addition; I admit using my laser cutter for engraving purposes was fascinating." Lisa explained, she reached for the watch that Lynn held in her palm, flipping it onto its face for her to see what was on the back.
On the back of the watch were a few words engraved into it. "You're never alone. I promise." Below the letters was the all too familiar ace of spades symbol, Lynn felt her heart beginning to well with joy at seeing the promise written on it, she found it unbelievably cheesy, somehow that made it all the more precious to her.
"Yeah, that definitely is from Lincoln." Lynn gave a toothy grin, she put the watch on her wrist with no hesitation.
"Yes, he said he wanted you to feel good for your appointment tomorrow." Lisa claimed, while she knew this psychologist personally, she could not help other than to be afraid due to the nature of this whole situation.
"Thanks Lisa, you're the best." The teenage girl gave her younger sister a tight hug of gratitude.
"It was of no inconvenience, have a good night." Lisa replied once she was freed from the hug, beginning to take her leave from Lynn and Lucy's room.
"Lucky." Lucy commented from her bed, Lynn brushed her off while staring down at the watch, seeing it tick away each second, the sports loving girl laid back down in her bed, trying to be confident for her first appointment with Doctor Deacon tomorrow.
Once Lisa was back in her own room, she took out her phone before dialing Lincoln's number. She waited patiently for her only brother to accept her call.
"Hey Lisa, did it go alright?" Lincoln answered his 2nd youngest sister's call, the bucktoothed boy sounded uneasy.
"Yes, my only male genetic sharing sibling, I modified the watch as you requested and added the details to it that you desired. Lynn was positively enthralled with the present." Lisa explained to her older brother, though the child genius did not sound the happiest with it. Lincoln had requested Lisa's help in turning the watch into a present for Lynn, that much was true, but the middle Loud sibling had asked for his genius sister to add a few 'upgrades' to the watch.
"I want you to know, I respect your devotion to this child and Lynn's wellbeing, that's the primary reason I agreed to help." Lisa responded; she knew if Lynn found out about the extra gizmos in the watch, it would end poorly. The 2nd youngest Loud had been tasked with adding a simple tracking device and wireless vitals monitor to the time telling tool, while Lincoln had only asked for a means for them to keep an eye on Lynn, Lisa had opted into suggesting more unorthodox methods, Lincoln had been oddly willing to agree to that idea.
Lisa understood the logic, Lincoln wanted to make sure Lynn and their unborn baby were safe, while also leaving a means for them to know where the aspiring sports star would go if she ever got possessed in her sleep by a split personality. It had become apparent to them that they could not allow Lynn total unmonitored autonomy after Chandler had been gravely injured, they needed a way to make sure this could never go too far again, the second Lincoln had gotten permission from their parents for that part of the idea, he had gone straight to Lisa to get her to begin modifying the watch.
"Thanks Lis, I just need a lot of time to think right now... You have a good night." Lincoln told the bespectacled girl.
"Take all the time you need, good night, Lincoln." Lisa nodded in understanding before ending the call, she sighed while taking a seat on the edge of her bed, Lily was nearby in her own bed already fast asleep at this point. The child prodigy could not help but find herself pondering on the drastic changes that were going to happen in the upcoming weeks and months, she only hoped Lincoln and Lynn would be happy when it was all said and done.
It seemed like nothing happened that night for Lynn, she woke up with her arms feeling sore but brushed that off as being due to the still healing cuts on them. The aspiring sports star seemed to have a proclivity for waking up early now, she had decided to spend her early morning this time helping her father make breakfast.
After breakfast the time Lynn had been somewhat dreading was inching closer, due to when her psychologist appointment was set she had to forego heading to school this morning. When it was time to head out, Lynn was rather surprised to realize it was not just her and one of her parents going to her first psychologist appointment, the 5th oldest Loud was pleasantly surprised to find out Luna was tagging along as well to give moral support, a lot of the family wanted to come, though Rita and Lynn Senior thought that might not be the best idea, Luna spent a good amount of time convincing them to let her come along.
Lynn currently was sat in one of Vanzilla's backseats, it felt eerie being in the large family Van with just the three of them within it. "Hey dude, just chillax, everything will be fine." Luna spoke up, she could tell how nervous her little sister was, the aspiring rock star felt bad seeing Lynn being fearful at all, what once was the most positive person in their whole family, had been essentially broken down to a fragment of her former self due to the split personalities.
"Going to a psychologist is one of the biggest signs of weakness, he'll give up on us the second he realizes how broken we are." The depressed split personality spoke, Lynn found her gaze wandering back down to the watch Lincoln had given her for some form of comfort.
"Lisa told me not to expect anything out of the first session..." Lynn sighed, remembering Lisa's words quite well, the sporty Loud was finding it hard to really get her hopes up, even if this psychologist was supposedly one of the best for this type of situation.
"I looked up doctor Deacon, he seems like a nice man." Rita tried to assure her 5th daughter, from what she found from her cursory searches online, everyone that did talk about their experiences with the psychologist spoke highly of him, the mother of 11 understood Lynn's fear given this was going to be an entirely new experience, one that was bound to be mentally stressful.
"Isn't that Lincoln's watch?" Luna took notice of the item when casting a glance over her shoulder back to her younger sister, noticing that familiar item on the aspiring sports star's wrist.
"Yeah, he had Lisa fix it up for me." Lynn gave a warm smile, while Rita was glad to hear the two were attempting to mend their relationship, the blonde woman could not help but remember that conversation with Lincoln last night, she just hoped the aspiring sports star never discovered the true nature of the watch, the Loud parents did not know just how she would react.
"That's cool, dude." Luna grinned, as much as the guitarist wanted to ask how their talk went last night, she knew that would be a conversation better set for another time.
It did not take too long to arrive to their destination, it was a simple two floor psychiatry clinic, nothing too impressive or giant in scale, after checking in at the reception desk the three were sent to the waiting room.
It was creepy to Lynn, the sterile feeling of the room that was very silent, the only noise coming from an old television playing news that no one cared about that was hanging from the nearby wall, there were a few other people there, but it was readily apparent that Lynn was the youngest one in the room, it did little to help her self-conscious feelings about being there.
"We haven't even been here 5 minutes and I want to headbutt the wall." Lynn-Sanity groaned out; their tone held complete bored contempt. Lynn could not disagree with the aggressive split personality; she was trying to distract herself by any means now, all she did was just stare down at the hands of the watch on her wrist, having her thoughts drift off towards thinking of Lincoln, the sports loving girl found it to be enough to keep her brain busy.
Recalling memories of times she had spent with Lincoln these last few years, it made Lynn reflect a lot on herself, on her heart and mind, they both were seemingly weaker than she had ever known until recently, she could do nothing more than force herself to try and think positively while at the same time hoping all her good luck rituals over these many years would pay off in one form or the other.
"Lynn Loud?" They heard a nurse call out from the nearby open door; Lynn had been successful in distracting herself long enough, though she found herself wishing that Lincoln himself was there to provide support as well.
"We'll be here Lynn; remember, you can be completely honest in there." Rita told her athletic child, as much as her and Luna wanted to go with her, they knew she would be able to be far more open and honest with the psychologist in a one-on-one setting.
"Thanks again for coming with me today." Lynn gave a nervous smile when thanking them, trying for a moment to build up fake confidence in herself before she followed the assistant off through the open door.
Doctor Deacon's office was a lot different than what she had been anticipating, in stark contrast to the standard regular and normal offices that Lynn had seen while passing through the hallways, Deacon's was quite bright, he had shelves with only a few books on them and a ton of different items, ranging from toys to photographs, to weird gizmos and trinkets. Lynn could not explain why it felt relaxing to be in there.
She thought maybe it was because Deacon was her biggest hope she had so far, or perhaps it was a side effect of the expensive chair she found herself lounged in while the early morning sunlight bleeding through the blinds gave a natural vibrant feeling to the room. The 5th oldest Loud sibling had been sat there alone for a few minutes, stuck with her own anxious thoughts again.
"Now now, just relax. Lisa vouched for him personally to us, remember? She wouldn't have done that if she did not faith in him." The maternal split personality insisted there was nothing to be afraid of, it did not help Lynn feel any less scared.
"This guy already seems pretty insane, and we haven't even met him yet!" The aggressive voice had to exclaim in disbelief at all the weird knickknacks that filled the room, Lynn did not even give the depressed personality a chance to speak, she dug her fingers into the wound through her bandaging to cause pain preemptively, wincing at just how much it stung yet trying to tolerate it.
Lynn nearly jumped out of her skin when hearing a quick trio of knocks on the door, stepping inside she saw an older man that was nearly two heads taller than her, he was wearing a green sweater and red undershirt, his glasses dangling from his shirt collar and a rather thick looking folder being held under his right arm, he did not look like what the sporty Loud had been expecting at all.
"Hey there! Sorry for making you wait, I'm Henry Deacon." Doctor Deacon introduced himself with a tone of extreme familiarity, Lynn was caught so far off guard that it took her a minute before she reached up and shook his hand.
"Lynn, it's nice to meet you, doc." Lynn gave a sheepish grin.
"There's no need for formalities like that." Henry Deacon insisted, he went and took a seat in the chair across from her, a small coffee table being in between the two of them. "You aren't exactly a normal patient of mine; Lisa's made that very clear." The psychologist continued, letting the thick folder slam down onto the table like he was just relieved to finally have it out of his own arms.
"Dissociative identity disorder, I've worked with two others that have suffered from that before, but you sure take the cake." Deacon declared, tapping the folder on the desk that made her quirk an eyebrow.
"Lisa sent all this. I've spent the last day pouring over it." He said, the folder being full of Lisa's documentation efforts for the split personalities, her personal observations, as well as theories for why they might exist and what their goals might be, it was no small amount of work on the genius Loud's part either.
"Lisa did all this?" Lynn had to ask in disbelief, she had no clue that Lisa had been keeping such thorough notes and details on the summarized events of the last few weeks.
"Is there anything you'd like to ask me?" Doctor Deacon offered to the sporty Loud, she looked back up to him, taking her attention away from the large folder.
"Can you help me?" Lynn questioned point blank if he could actually help her overcome this split personality issue, watching as the man kicked one leg up over the other, in stark contrast to the sporty Loud's seriousness, Henry was completely relaxed with a bright smile on his face.
"Not the first question people tend to ask in my office...It's not up to me though, I WANT to help you, and if you want to make any progress then we have to work together." Henry responded to her; he sounded genuine in his desire to help Lynn, she was far from his first mental rodeo, yet she presented a rather tough challenge.
"Now, I'm going to ask you some questions, you answer them so I can get a grasp on how you're holding up." He explained what their first step in this session was going to be, while he had read Lisa's own personal questionnaire to Lynn, he wanted to get to know Lynn himself, a lot could change in that short time after all.
"Alright..." Lynn swallowed the lump in her throat.
"This is gonna be a long morning." Lynn-Sanity exhaled in annoyance at the realization they were going to be playing 20 questions.
Lynn had not even been aware of the fact she spent 30 minutes answering what felt like an endless string of questions, only to then explain her answers with how she felt on her own personal perspective. One thing that became very clear was that Deacon had no hesitation to hit close to home, to poke obviously tender areas, it agitated the split personalities gradually more and more as well, yet he never pushed them over the edge.
Once the questions came to an end, she watched Henry as he wrote down something on his clipboard. "Can I ask you something?" Lynn quirked during the silence, it was apparent that the doctor was treating the silence as a break or reprise for the aspiring sports star so she could gather herself.
"Sure, what is it?" The psychologist looked up to her from his clipboard.
"Why does your office look like a hoarder lives in it?" Lynn queried, not able to deny the curiosity she held any longer, she swore the more she looked at the many items in the room, the stranger they got.
"Now that's normally the first question clients ask me." Henry slapped his hands together with a hearty chuckle. "Each one of these things, well, they're from my patients, for some reason whenever a patient is aware of what's going to be our last session, they feel some need to give me something that reminds me of them." Doctor Deacon elaborated further on why his office doubled as a museum to random items, Lynn had to question some of those gifts though.
"Now Lynn, I have some medications I want to you to start taking, but we have a small problem that makes me unable to give them to you right away." The psychologist rested his clipboard aside, he hated throwing pills at every problem, it was clear that Lynn needed some form of help though.
"... Is it my pregnancy?" Lynn hesitantly asked while looking away, hoping she was not about to be told she could not get any of the medication until her child was born.
"Er, no, Lisa left that out of her notes. The medicines I had in mind are perfectly safe to take while pregnant... Congratulations though." Henry smiled, he insisted that there was nothing wrong with the pregnancy, that was not an obstacle to their efforts whatsoever.
"What is it then?" Lynn blinked, she didn't have any preexisting conditions that would make the medication problematic, though she hated imagining becoming dependent on medicine for the rest of her life, the brunette felt like she was becoming weaker by the day already.
"These medicines might cause your personalities to become more prominent, no two people have the same brain chemistry, and I really want to get to know these other versions of you better, so..." Henry found himself pausing briefly while he took in a deep breath, as if he was trying to prepare for the worst of the conversation.
"Lynn, I would like you to spend a week in a safe and controlled environment... I know of a great psych ward in a hospital not too far from here, I can pull some strings and have you in by this evening." Doctor Deacon explained what it was he wanted from Lynn, hearing that made her heart sink into her stomach.
"Ah, the bastard already wants us in a cage, that's hilarious. Now wait until he hears the punch-line." The aggressive split personality sounded more eager to the idea of assaulting Deacon now more than anything.
"You... I came to you so I could AVOID going to a mental hospital." Lynn said through gritted teeth, her hand was trembling and she was tempted to just storm out of the office at that very moment, but she knew she would not get anywhere by running away.
"No, listen to me, a psych ward is NOT a mental hospital, it is a safe place where they can monitor you while we find the right balance of anti-psychotics and anti-depressants to help you, it's only for a week at most. It's not like I'm asking you to go to a prison, you can leave whenever you want, your family and friends can visit, you'll have people to take care and help you, I'll be able to give you daily sessions even while you're there." The psychologist began to elaborate to her further what he truly wanted, explaining the stark contrast between a mental hospital and a simple psych ward, he saw the brunette stand up, so he did as well.
"I swear on my life nothing bad will happen to you in there. This isn't the 1950s anymore, you don't get lobotomies or electrocuted just because you have a problem that people might have trouble understanding." Deacon insisted while putting his hands together.
"Please, if not for yourself then think about your family, your baby, your future! You literally just told me that you were scared of yourself more than anything 15 minutes ago." He continued to press further, referencing one of the answers she had given him about how she saw herself now. As he tried to reason with her, he could tell Lynn was upset to no end, her breathing was becoming heavier, her heart was starting to pound so hard that she could feel it against her chest. "I can't force you to do anything, but if you really want help and you truly love them, you'll agree" The psychologist finished his plea there, a long silence filled the room as the tension only got thicker and heavier.
"We know where to find a knife, we can make everything easier for everyone." Dismal Lynn suggested they go dig up the knife from the basement of their home once more.
"Bury him alive with his own crap." Lynn-Sanity advised with a clear eagerness to beat the life out of the psychologist.
"We should listen to him; he just wants to help." Miss Lynn implored in agreement with the psychologist.
"If we agree then that's it, it's over. We may as well tell our teachers and everyone we know that we're nothing else but a mentally deficient freak, they won't care, but they sure would be happy to avoid us." The depressed personality jeered against the idea.
Lynn felt like she wanted to collapse when the voices all began to talk at once, she could not even understand any of them now, the three split personalities would not stop talking whatsoever, the brunette began to hyperventilate, her vision was beginning to become blurry.
"I'll do anything to make it stop... Please..." Lynn whimpered out with tears welling in the corners of her eyes, Henry could tell that the stress of his advice combined with the previous inquiries had done nothing short of risk setting off one of the split personalities, she could feel herself beginning to breakdown once again, she was able to force out her agreement despite the deafening noise filling her head to no end, the aspiring sports star was close to giving up completely, Lynn was going to put a lot of her hopes in the doctor, hoping he was right in the fact this was the best course of action.
