NOTICE: The following chapter was meant to be posted last week. I'm quite sure I did it. However, when I posted the most recent chapter of Twospirit last Tuesday, there was some kind of sudden glitch that prevented it from going through. I had to post it again. The same thing probably happened here. That's why there are two chapters going up tomorrow (I only discovered the error on Saturday, the day before posting). Grr!

A/N: Aw yeah! I have read 7 and 1/2 books in the past week! Hey, my reading habit's really suffered over the past few years, okay? That's an accomplishment.

May everybody accomplish wonderful things today! The world is a good place!

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Deidara

Deidara woke up the next day with a yawn. He rubbed his eyes. He got up and went into the bathroom to retrieve Stitchy, who sat in the bathtub under a spare mattress. It was as close to a blast-proof shelter as Deidara could manage. He stood the mattress up against the wall and picked up his spider, cradling it in his arms as he returned to his bed. "You're a cute little guy, aren't you, yeah?" he murmured. "Who knew bugs could be cute?"

After several wonderful minutes of this, his eyes flew open and he jumped to his feet. "The battle's today!"

Deidara tossed Stitchy onto the bed and ran out into the halls to find almost everyone else gone. Yahiko and Konan were talking outside her room. Yahiko had a bunch of copied scrolls with him and seemed to be asking how intensely he should practice. Konan gestured for him to follow. Deidara fell in.

"Do you really think you'll need to practice healing for our fight?" he asked.

"It's like Kakuzu said last night," Yahiko whispered back. "In this world, never bet on something being impossible."

They arrived in the lobby, where Samehada trilled and slithered off the chair to greet them. "Samehada, you have a mission today," Konan told him. Samehada paused in his greetings and faced her, nodding as seriously and solemnly as he was able. "You feed on chakra. Because of this, you have a greater ability to sense chakra than any of the humans here do. You will accompany Yahiko as he practices medical jutsu and make sure his chakra does not get too low. He should not go below a third of the chakra he has now." Samehada barked and went over to Yahiko to find out how much chakra that was.

Deidara scratched his chin. "What should I be doing, yeah? Got any last-minute training tips?"

"If you want something to do, you may borrow my weapons and practice throwing them in the second training room," Konan replied. "But all shinobi must learn to deal with the tension that descends before a battle."

"Pretty sure finding something to distract myself with is dealing with it," Deidara muttered under his breath. "Throwing stuff sounds good, yeah!"

Konan tilted her head. "When you are done with that, come see me on the roof. Bring your owl. There are people I wish to visit."

.

An hour and a half of throwing knives later, Deidara and Konan took to the air. He turned the owl toward town. "Why are we meeting him, yeah? I thought nobody could help us with the vampires."

"They cannot, but that doesn't mean we ought to ignore them. A significant amount of time has passed. It's time to check and see if Itachi's strategy worked."

They landed in the park, where Jiraiya and Shikaku were waiting. "This had better be important," Shikaku told them. "Being dragged out of my plans at the last minute is very annoying."

Konan looked at Jiraiya, who shuffled aside to make room for her. She sat across the wooden bench table from Shikaku. "How are your people responding to our meeting?"

"We haven't been talking about it," Shikaku replied.

"Why not?"

"Cowardice," Jiraiya replied.

Shikaku shot him a look. "No, not cowardice. We just haven't found it all that relevant."

"You don't want to try and see if it is relevant 'cause you're scared of what you might find, you mean," Jiraiya said.

Shikaku sighed. It was a very eloquent sigh. Deidara tried not to snicker. They're even more freaked out than we were, yeah!

"You have not put the information we shared with you to any use whatsoever?" Konan frowned.

Shikaku shrugged. "It hasn't been important."

"I told him to go peek at your basement since he was so sure there wasn't a god there," Jiraiya told her. "Until he does, I recommend treating everything he says like the big, fat lie it is."

"We have been steering clear of the abandoned houses and the forest," Shikaku said. "What else is there to do?"

"Interviewing ghosts, for one!" Jiraiya turned to Konan. "Tell the kid to expect me later today."

"Hey, do you guys want to come to the battle?" Deidara asked. "Me and Hidan are holding a training fight. The last one was really impressive, and we've both been training since then."

"How much of a drag would it be?" Shikaku asked.

"Well, you'd have to follow us around on the rooftops. And dodge his scythe, yeah. And hopefully we won't get interrupted by fighting vampires."

"Excuse me?"

"There is no reason for the vampires to carry out their infighting on our street," Konan told Deidara. "They have their own territory."

"You never know, yeah. And maybe as it gets dark, some of the friendly vampires from yesterday will show up." He turned to Shikaku. "It'll be happening pretty late in the day so everyone can be out of work, yeah."

"You people fight each other…in the dark…on rooftops…with vampires fighting nearby." Shikaku sounded so done.

"Yeah, pretty much, yeah." Deidara grinned. "Last time, it was broad daylight and everything was clear and we only stayed in one small section. This'll be so much more fun, yeah!"

Jiraiya laughed. "Haha! This is a nice group you have!"

"I will not attend," Shikaku said.

"I will!"

Konan showed no reaction. "Excellent."

"Is there anything useful or relevant you have to talk about?" Shikaku asked.

"I cannot know what you will decide is useful or relevant. If I obeyed that standard, I would have to share nothing at all," Konan replied.

Deidara blinked. Was that a burn? It sure sounded like one, if you read between the lines. He decided it was a devastating burn. Crap! You don't want to piss her off, yeah!

Shikaku clearly had the brains to understand it as such, too. He leaned back. "Anything life threatening or useful to normal non-warring people such as ourselves?"

"Hmm." Konan tapped one finger against the table. She glanced up at Deidara. "Do we?"

Think think think… Oh, crap, they don't know about the management. But that's not really important. Um… The vampires? No, the vampires are only after Hidan. Um… "You can order weapons online," Deidara said. "And pick up chakra ink at the art supply store."

"Why would we ever need weapons?" Shikaku asked.

"Because we're ninjas," Deidara said. "Ignoring that part of ourselves is wrong, yeah. Even if we don't have any memories of fighting, letting our training and our chakra and everything we can do go to waste would be sad." That's everything Itachi said, right? I think it's everything.

Jiraiya nodded. "It would indeed!"

"Give me one good reason why I should give up the perfectly nice life I have now and join in on all these crazy things you do." Shikaku crossed his arms and waited.

Deidara and Konan looked at each other. Deidara began to sweat. He had no such answer, at least none that could be put into words. He really, really hoped Konan could find something to say. Otherwise they would have to slink out of the park with their metaphorical tails between their legs, humiliated beyond measure.

Konan turned back to Shikaku. "Because if you don't, you will forever have to live with a nagging voice inside your head. You will succeed in ignoring it most of the time. You will be happy, most of the time. But every so often, when you are alone in a quiet room, you will hear it whisper, Is this all? And you will wonder what more your life could have held, if only you had been brave enough to reach out and take it."

Nobody responded to that. They stared at her, dumbstruck with awe. Jiraiya's hand twitched. Faster than the eye could follow, he pulled out his phone, opened the first app he saw, and began to type at a frenzied pace. Deidara realized his mouth was hanging open, and swallowed. "How'd you think of that?"

"I didn't. Sasori did." Konan wove her fingers together and stared at Shikaku over them. "Say nothing now. But think on what I have said. When you have thought, and you have reached an answer, I will want to hear it." She stood up and beckoned for Deidara to follow. They went back to Clay and took to the air.

"Did Sasori really say all that?" Deidara couldn't believe it. He's no wordsmith! At least I think he's not. I don't really know what he thinks about. He's so quiet…

"He told me that there used to be a nagging voice questioning if his life was everything it could be. He said it was the reason why he stayed in this group, long after the charm of using magic had worn off and he saw all the danger this life holds. Because the voice had finally gone."

"I never knew he thought that deeply, yeah."

"Why do you think he sought out company, and found you?" Konan asked. "Why do you think he enjoys your company, you who are the opposite of the orderly, predictable machines he normally surrounds himself with? He is well aware of a need to expand his life beyond its current boundaries. He has let this need drive his actions for a long time now. I have no way of knowing how long."

Deidara gulped. "And I've always liked hanging out with him because some part of me craves how neat he makes everything. I don't just enjoy hanging out with him. I feel…something deeper."

"Your originals hated each other because they were opposites. You clones are drawn together because of it. It's amazing what can change between worlds," Konan mused.

I don't feel complete on my own. Was that a problem or not? He would have to ask Itachi. "So, um, who are we going to next?"

"The Hatakes. I want to verify that everything is alright."

.

Wolves scattered as the owl came in for a landing. Deidara had guessed the clearing wouldn't be too hard to spot from the air, and he was right. He grinned as he and Konan hopped off. Konan nodded politely at the nearest tiger person. "Hello. I am here to make sure your friend is alright after helping us the other night, and to express my gratitude that he did."

The tiger woman with the slit pupils tried to stop herself from smiling, but only partially succeeded. She waved away the wolf-human pair she had been playing with, to their disappointment. She went up to the tiger cabin, opened the door and leaned her head in. "Hey! Get off your phone and get out here!" She paused. Then she went inside, leaving the door open. Muffled conversation could barely be heard. Deidara and Konan waited. Eventually, she came out, followed by a tiger person who didn't seem to have any reaction to their unannounced visit. Does nothing bother that guy? I wonder if he and Sasori would get along.

Konan bowed her head more deeply than usual. "Thank you for assisting us the other night. The operation was a great success. We gained valuable allies and useful information. I trust that you are alright after journeying into vampire territory with us?"

"He's more than alright," the tiger woman said, grinning. Deidara recognized that grin. He had seen grins just like it among his classmates in high school, and among his group in the military. Especially among them. He couldn't fail to understand it. Wait, what? How did this guy get laid as a result of helping us? What am I missing?

"I am fine. Thank you for asking." The tiger guy shot the woman a look. She shrugged.

"Have you maintained contact with your vampire friend?" Konan asked.

The tiger guy flushed. The woman smirked and nodded. Deidara's eyes widened. Wait, he's in a relationship with a vampire? How does that even work?

Konan took their reactions as admissions. "Has he told you anything about the changes their society is currently undergoing?"

"He said he had to hole up in his basement last night. I was just talking with him about maybe having to do the same tonight. But he doesn't really know what's going on." The tiger guy shot Konan a look.

"The vampire leader is tying up a few loose ends. You are safe here, and your friend should be likewise," Konan told him. "It will be over soon."

Deidara held back until they were safely above the trees. Then he gave in to a fit of the giggles. "He went into vampire territory scared for his life and came out with a boyfriend? Seriously? How often does that happen, yeah?"

"In this world? Who knows."

.

They went to the hospital to tell the demon boy about Jiraiya's visit before they forgot. "I know," the boy replied. "Watch me do a handstand!" They left the hospital without any unpleasant incidents and flew back to town to visit Sasori.

Sasori was in his office reading a car magazine. He lowered it as they walked in. "I got an email two days ago saying delivery was on its way. You'd better go back in case they show up. I'm sorry for not mentioning it; I only just now remembered."

This was a good enough excuse. Konan thanked him for being quick about telling her and left, pulling Deidara along. They got on Clay's back, again. "What was he talking about?" Deidara asked.

"He wanted some parts delivered to the base," Konan replied. "Do not forget that his original was a puppetmaster. He needs them in order to fight to his full ability."

"Awesome, yeah!" Deidara pushed Clay to fly as fast as he could. Halfway home, he remembered having talked with Sasori about designs. I know what he wants to make! It was… Ugh, it was modeled after a bug. But he said something about it being big. A giant bug thing?

They returned to the base to find a package on the doorstep. Neither Deidara nor Konan recognized the company listed as the originating address. "Let's leave it in the shed for him to handle, yeah," Deidara decided. "He would be pissed if I broke something of his."

"He told me his plans for how the materials ought to be stored," Konan said. "I will stay in case that box is not the full delivery."

Just like that, Deidara was left without anything to do. He looked up at the clouds and squinted until he could make out the patch that was brighter than the rest. It was nearly midday. There were several hours that needed to be filled.

Deidara pulled out his phone and texted Itachi. Itachi, is it a problem to feel like I'm not entirely complete without other people for company?

Itachi replied several minutes later. That depends on what you mean by complete. If you do not mean devoid of hopes and dreams and ambitions, without meaning in your life, then I think you're alright. It's normal to feel balanced by others. It would be even if we were not derived from personality fragments, as I suspect we are.

Deidara's mood brightened instantly. Of course! He was a clone; he could expect to feel like one sometimes. Thanks!

No problem.

The sun had not moved. There were still several hours to fill. Maybe Kakuzu would like to tell me more stories, yeah.

.

Kakuzu was busy reading. He growled as soon as Deidara pushed open his door. "Sorry, didn't know you were busy, " Deidara mumbled as he backed out. That was a good idea! Read a book! Deidara stole one of Yahiko's books on spirits and proceeded to do just that.

Hidan

Hidan sat on a stump after only fifteen minutes of practice. He was getting tired more and more frequently. I should stop. I gotta give my soul time to recover before the fight. He shivered, though he wasn't cold. Shit. I might have overdone it.

He looked down at his scythe. What have I learned? I cannot fight half in and half out. That does not work. So I have to be able to go into my scythe quickly if I want to use that at all. I think I've got it down by now. I've got the rope, so I can bring chakra with me. And I've gotten pretty good at striking forward and pulling backward out of the ground. That could come in handy.

He huffed. Maybe I should have practiced all this before today, like I told Dei I had. Fuck me. He shivered again. "Next time, we do better," he told the scythe before placing it on his back. As soon as he felt its familiar weight on him, he felt better. "If Dei tries to take you again, he's in for a disaster, and I will not have mercy on him."

Hidan pulled out his phone and settled himself into a good position in which to play games for an extended period of time. Ooh, pretty fishies!

He looked up when lighting conditions changed enough to catch his attention. The shadows had noticeably moved. He checked the time - 4 pm - then put his phone away. He got onto all fours and kicked up leaves so he could bat at them as they fell. Then he found a butterfly to chase. Who needs to watch TV when you have trees?

General

The time for the fight arrived. Eventually.

Sasori raced back to find Konan sitting in one of the remaining patches of sunlight, resting. She indicated the garage. He checked and found it full of materials, and the basement likewise. Was anybody here to help, or did she make a fuckton of clones? he wondered. He checked his shed and found the custom battery he'd ordered.

Other people arrived as fast as they could. Deidara came out of the building with his cloak on and a bag of clay at his side. He looked around. "Did you know some kinds of nature spirits are attracted to specific plants? The book I read that in recommended planting some pretty weird things around your property. I mean, I'm pretty sure most of them are weeds, yeah."

"Cool," Sasori said just to be supportive. He didn't really find it interesting.

"It is nice that you and Yahiko are getting into the same things," Itachi said. "I like it."

Deidara blinked. "Oh. Yeah, we have been getting more things in common, haven't we?"

Hidan showed up pretty late, stretching and yawning as if he had already tired himself. Nagato expressed concern. "I make bad decisions sometimes," Hidan said with a wave of his hand. "No big deal. Let's just see how this one turns out." Deidara discreetly thanked Konan for preventing him from exhausting himself the same way.

Yahiko and Samehada walked out of the woods shortly after. "Oh, good, we haven't missed anything," Yahiko said.

Kakuzu patted the head of a very sociable Samehada. "Kisame isn't here yet." As he said that, the sound of a distant car became audible. They turned toward it, eager to greet him.

But the car that arrived wasn't Kisame's car. It parked in the dilapidated parking lot. The person who got out of it was Jiraiya. Nagato and Yahiko gasped and ran up to him. "You came for a visit!" Yahiko cried. "Oh, but we're about to do a thing."

"I came to watch the thing!" Jiraiya replied. He put a hand on both of their shoulders. "Then I want to catch up with my favorite kids!"

"That would be great," Nagato whispered. Visions of them bonding over personal revelations danced in his head.

"Yay!" Yahiko exclaimed.

Then Kisame showed up. The greeting he got was tame by comparison. "Just in time," Sasori said, pulling him over to the front lawn where everyone else stood. Samehada chirred and climbed onto his back. Hidan announced that it was time to get the party started.

Nagato and Yahiko invited Jiraiya onto the roof next to them. Jiraiya had great fun exploring the joys of sitting on rooftops. "You guys really don't use your ninja powers for anything, do you?" Nagato asked.

"That pineapple-haired sourpuss might not, but I plan to!" Jiraiya said.

"Hey author person!"

Jiraiya did not jump at the sound of the demon boy's voice. He turned in a perfectly natural way and grinned. "Hello there! Did they pass on my message?"

"Yep!" The boy submitted to a ruffling of his hair. Yahiko realized that he had only seen Hidan do that before. Is Jiraiya's dad energy that powerful?

"Where's the snake kid?" Nagato asked.

"Behind you." It was a flat roof.

"Of course he is." Nagato turned around and found the snakelike toddler using his fingers to carefully groom his snake toy. "I'll let you know when they start so you can get a better seat. You won't see anything from behind me."

"Whose kid is that?" Jiraiya asked. "He's too young to be on a roof!"

"No he isn't," Yahiko replied. "He's been two and a half years old for at least the past three months. Who knows how old he is. And he's a ninja like the rest of us. I think. I mean, how else would he get around except with chakra?"

"He walked up here himself," the demon confirmed with a grin.

"Uh…"

"They're planning to battle up and down the street," Yahiko told the snake child. "They might move around a little too fast for you to follow. Just so you know."

The boy checked his toy snake all over. Finding no traces of dirt and not a fluff out of place, he stood up and squeezed between Yahiko and Nagato. He sat on Yahiko's lap. Yahiko held him. "The demon boy said I would be a good mom," he told Jiraiya through a smile so broad it threatened to split his face in two.

Jiraiya looked down at the snakelike toddler, who he had just been told was not really a toddler. Yet the child seemed to enjoy being held like one. Was he or was he not a young child?

"Totally," Nagato agreed. He gave Yahiko a thumbs up. Yahiko giggled.

"Remember that time I panicked and you got all worried?" he asked Nagato. "It was because I realized how kind of feminine it was to carry him, and I freaked out at the thought that I'd done that openly where anybody could have seen. I'm in such a better place now."

"Shhhh," the demon boy whispered. "They're done negotiating how fast they're gonna move. It's starting."

Hidan and Deidara faced each other across the street. They started in the same positions as last battle, but two houses closer to the base because the last battlefield was now a small forest. "We're ready for you now, yeah!" Deidara called.

"So are we!" Hidan called back.

"His scythe is actually a container for his soul. He can possess it," Yahiko whispered to Jiraiya.

The fight began.

.

A/N: I'm very sorry for ending on a cliffhanger (no I'm not), but I really didn't want to publish this chapter in the afternoon or evening. I avoid that. Thank you for your understanding.

The app Hidan used is Zen Koi 2.

See ya next week!