A/N: The new story inspiration has mostly worn off...but not entirely. That's never going to stop me from getting this out on time. I made a promise. I keep my promises.

So, let's just tie up a few loose ends now...

.

Nagato

"I know you didn't get a chance to hang out with Nagato like you did me," Yahiko said, "so I'll just tidy up my room for a few minutes." He left Nagato and Jiraiya alone in Nagato's room.

"How've you been?" Jiraiya asked. "No girlfriend yet, I presume?"

"Uh…" Why did he have to lead off with that? Nagato sputtered, unable to find words.

Jiraiya frowned. "What did I say?"

Nagato swallowed. "Girl. You said girl." He shook himself. "I have a boyfriend. It's Hidan."

Jiraiya's eyes widened. "Oh."

"Yahiko told me what you told him," Nagato continued. How easy it was to continue now that he had found a place to start! "I wish I'd known that we had so much in common. I never thought you would understand. Until Hidan, I never had anybody I could talk to about it."

"Oh." Jiraiya looked down. "Crap. Jeez, I'm sorry. I guess all my talk of women had to make you pretty uncomfortable."

Nagato shook his head. "I'm moving on. I'm looking to the future now. It's alright."

"Want to talk about it now?"

"Um…okay." Nagato folded his hands in his lap. "It feels like I live in a whole different world now. Why did I always feel like it wouldn't be okay to look at a man that way? That flirting would be, like, creepy or something."

"Oh, yeah." Jiraiya nodded. "You ever heard the claim, 'Homophobic straight men are afraid that other men will treat them the way they treat women'? I would bet my right arm that it's true."

"That was internalized homophobia? Well, don't I feel proud of myself." Nagato laughed weakly. "I'm so glad Konan brought us together. Hidan has really changed my life. I remember how, even that first night while we were waiting for her, he put his arm over my shoulder like it was nothing. He's always been so confident, so free, so…" Nagato's eyes swam with tears. "Incredible. I feel like he gave me wings."

"You sure that's not just because of his magic charm powers?"

"I'm very sure it's because of his magic charm powers. Those powers are part of who he is. I'm not like Kisame. I accept him totally, without rejecting any part of him. He says that's why he loves me back." Nagato grinned uncontrollably. "Konan and I are the only people who've ever done that. At least, we're the only people to do it easily, without having to be convinced to."

There was a knock at the door. "Are you all caught up?" Yahiko asked.

"Yeah," Nagato called back. Yahiko came in and closed the door behind himself. "We were just talking about Hidan," Nagato told him. "Have you ever actually confronted the other guy by yourself?"

"The other guy?" Yahiko froze. "Oh. Him. I don't think so."

"Who's this other guy?" Jiraiya asked.

"That's just what we call the source of Hidan's weird powers, his charm power included," Nagato explained. "It's not exactly a separate person. But when he really taps into it, he looks and acts completely different."

"Like Dark Willow from Buffy The Vampire Slayer," Yahiko added. "Only even more. It's like a cross between that and someone who's possessed. I don't remember any major character getting possessed in that show."

That was a reference Jiraiya understood. Of course he did; he was the one who led them on a binge-watching marathon of it one summer. "Is he as dangerous?" Jiraiya asked.

"No, not at all. But he gets super creepy, which is why it's such a big deal that Konan and I have faced him in that state all by ourselves and accepted him. A long time ago, he was run out of town by people who couldn't." Nagato sighed. "I am being forced, inch by stubborn inch, to start thinking of myself as an especially good person. I don't want to think I'm better than everyone else - I've always been taught that was bad - but Hidan demands that I do."

"There's nothing bad about having a healthy ego! If you want, you can think of it as telling the truth about yourself. Downplaying yourself is a form of lying."

"It's the kind of truth that nobody wants to hear, though," Yahiko whispered. "How do you find the courage to say something like that?"

Jiraiya shrugged. "You just -"

"Wait, what am I saying? I already know the answer to that! Hidan told me." Yahiko facepalmed. "I don't own any of the strength or power I have. It's flowing through me from somewhere else. If I want to feel stronger, I have to connect to that something else." He furrowed his brow. "I think, in order to say that, I would have to connect to the gods of…love, and joy. Love for myself, wanting myself to feel good and receive kind words, and joy in whatever I did that I'm being honest about."

"Self love and joy," Nagato repeated. "Let me try that." He closed his eyes and conjured up the memory of the night he found Hidan sitting on the hill. "I was scared out of my mind. I couldn't even stand to look in his eyes. But I remembered how much I cared for him, and that gave me the strength to power through. I hugged him, tightly, and told him to make damn sure he was happy." Nagato opened his eyes. "How many people could have even touched him when he looked so eerie and sat so limply like a corpse? It was brave of me. I was brave, and strong, and he's right to think I'm just as amazing as he is." Nagato sobbed. "It's working. I can feel things running through me. I feel powerful, like I can say anything."

"Yeah!" Yahiko cheered.

"Gods of love and joy?" Jiraiya muttered.

"Yeah, Sasori went out of his body one time and saw all kinds of deities, but they weren't like what most people think of as gods. They didn't have bodies or look like anything. They were colors, and he somehow knew that all of the colors stood for a concept. The real world is just those concepts made manifest," Yahiko gushed. "Like, there's a god for the hardness of stone, and one for the texture of stone, and one for the noise-echoing properties of stone, and as many others as you need to cover all the things that make stone stone, and together that whole region of the color spectrum forms the god of stone, which appears in the real world as stone. it's so cool!"

"The word stone sounds like nonsense now," Jiraiya said, rubbing his head. "And these, ah, color gods are also forms of energy?"

"Yeah," Nagato said. "Light is electromagnetic energy. It makes complete sense."

"I'm not sure I believe in whatever weird spirituality you two are describing."

"That's okay," Yahiko said. "You don't have to in order to understand that, to give yourself motivation and strength, you should make yourself feel some kind of strong emotion. Even a diehard atheist would agree that people who have strong feelings take action more than people who don't. We just like to think of those feelings as gods."

Jiraiya frowned. "Did Hidan sell you on this?"

"Hidan is incapable of discussing any religious topic directly," Nagato replied. "The other guy has talked about it, though."

"What?! Didn't you just say -"

"It's similar to when someone is possessed," Yahiko repeated.

Jiraiya must have remembered some example of a possessed character that Yahiko had been too young to focus on, because his eyes widened with understanding. "This other guy, this source, his weird powers…they can push his mind out of the way and speak for themselves?"

"No," Nagato said. "Yes. Kind of. It's complicated. Hidan's the one that owns and operates the ability to speak, but the other guy can turn his head so he doesn't know what was said. If Hidan ever says anything really weird, don't ask him to explain it. He won't remember saying it and he'll be just as confused as you."

"Your boyfriend is some kind of multiple personality divinely powered guy who uncontrollably convinces everyone around him to go along with whatever he wants? I'm starting to see what that shark guy was so worried about. Are you two okay? This isn't a cult, right? He's not forbidding you from seeing people on the outside or convincing you to give up all your possessions, is he?"

Nagato burst out laughing. Jiraiya sounded serious, which made the joke he must be telling all the more hilarious. "No, of course not! We still own stuff, including our apartment, and do hobbies and things, and go out and visit people. Literally everything he does is to convince people to stop being afraid and give in to the desires they were stifling before. You should have seen Kisame yesterday at the community outreach event. He was socializing like a pro. I think he even told a few jokes."

"Hidan described himself as one of the oppositions to fear," Yahiko recalled. "He said I was one, too. He makes people so motivated to take action that they lose the fear of embarrassment or shame, and I like to tell people that they don't have to be afraid of others because everyone has goodness in their hearts. If we're being used for anything, it's as examples. Why would anyone on his level care about our money and possessions?"

Jiraiya rubbed his chin and thought for a while, not saying anything. "As long as you two are safe and happy, I'm not worried," he decided.

Nagato's eyes misted over. "I'm so sorry. I can't believe I ever thought that if I told you I liked boys, you might be dismissive or pressuring. You would never do that. You've been nothing but wonderful to us, always."

"Don't be sorry," Jiraiya told him. "At that point in my life, I was so invested in my image as a ladies' man that I probably would have been. I've always cared about you two with all my heart, but back then certain fears might have kept me from showing it." He paused. "Oh, so it's like that, is it?"

Nagato lunged forward and hugged him. Yahiko did likewise. "Thank you for everything you've ever done for us," they whispered. He hugged them back.

Itachi

Itachi woke up around 1 in the morning. This happened sometimes. He knew that the only possible outcome of it was getting something productive done at what he usually considered an ungodly hour. The only thing that he could control was what form the productivity would take. If he got up, he could perform all kinds of menial tasks. If he stayed in bed, his mind would fill with inspiration. Not wanting to disturb anyone else, he stayed in bed.

After half an hour, the inspiration started to really pump. Itachi began to think deeply about Hidan's relationship with the vampires. They've always been careful to keep a distance from him, but he still loves them with all his heart. Am I loved with all of anyone's heart? Is there anyone that I love with all my heart? What does that even mean? My mind is too strong. In order to love anything, I must love it with my mind first. Is love from the mind as good as love from the heart? Or have my mind and heart fused somehow? He next contemplated the nature of the traditional three-part division of all living beings into mind, body and soul. He ended up concluding that the three parts must be vaguely separate but also clearly identifiable as being the same thing. In that respect, they were similar to the color deities Sasori had once described.

Then he returned to the main question. What form of love do I want to receive, and what form of love do I want to give? What can I give? Am I capable of loving anyone or anything directly from my soul or my heart? I am a very imbalanced person. But how do I recover balance? How? If the route to my heart is through my mind, then… Must I unite them somehow? Are my mind, heart and soul more separate than usual? Is that the cause of the imbalance? Should I embrace my natural tendency toward intellectualization, or reject it?

These midnight awakenings caused all of him to become more active (or were caused by - he wasn't sure which). Itachi's chest ached and his thoughts filled with an urgent longing that he rarely experienced at any other time. He squeezed his covers and sincerely wished for someone to be beside him. His body cried out for a hedonistic orgy of touch and warmth, needs that were not met because they were not heard and could not be heard except for in the middle of the night.

Itachi was startled by a soft knock on his door. He was bewildered by it at first. Then he remembered that Hidan could feel other people's feelings. Whatever is supercharging me must also be supercharging him. Itachi opened the door.

Hidan stood outside, grimacing. "Thought it might be you," he gasped. "I had to figure out who was in my default range and who was the most likely to be really fucking touch starved. It's a good thing you were turning over just now."

"I need a hug," Itachi said. Tears rolled down his cheeks. "I believe I've heard it described as, 'Please squeeze my soul back into my body.'" This phrasing reminded him of his thoughts, which made him sob. How right that phrasing is.

He and Hidan went inside his room. They sat on the bed, in the darkness. Hidan wrapped his arms around Itachi and squeezed. Itachi gasped. I want more. "Can we try…something else…?" He described to Hidan something else he had once heard of. "I would understand if it makes you uncomfortable -"

"No. It sounds like the best thing in the world. Lie the fuck down." Hidan released Itachi long enough for him to lay down. Then Hidan lay down on top of him.

Itachi shivered all over. The compression! It was heavenly. Hidan's weight and warmth seeped into his bones, filling Itachi with a sense of peace and contentment he was sure he'd never known. No, not even as a baby. I saw how my parents handled Sasuke when he was born. They did not practice swaddling.

"Oh, fuck." Hidan purred. Words were not enough.

Itachi let his mind drift away. He did not think of anything, not even the thoughts that would normally have come so quickly and naturally he couldn't perceive them as separate from the event itself. This, here, now, was not a mind event. It was a body event. His mind mercifully allowed the rest of him that much.

"I need more of this," Itachi whispered.

"I know exactly what you mean. Literally." Hidan yawned. "Call me anytime."

Itachi realized he, too, was growing tired. Not tired enough to sleep, but he could close his eyes and drift in a semiawake state. He did just that. It lasted five minutes. Then his eyes flew open. "Huh," Hidan murmured. "This feels a lot like what I got from Konan back at the beginning, except milder."

"I have thought the same myself."

"It's nice though. Not like that. That felt like driving an out of control vehicle over rocks and holes in the ground on your way to a cliff you can't see but you know it's somewhere in the direction you're going. This feels like a racecar zooming over a track. Totally different."

"Continue lying here, if you want to," Itachi requested. "I will contemplate the nature of living beings."

Not long after he said this, Hidan's weight started to distract him. It was unpleasant. He asked Hidan to get off. Hidan lay on the floor and dozed, which Itachi knew by the way his breath slowed. He must be very tired to resist my influence. Itachi continued to contemplate the nature of living beings unimpeded. It was joyous.

He knew when morning came because he finally got tired. He pulled the covers up and turned over with a yawn. Hidan snored softly on the floor. I am glad he came to help. Who knows how terrible my night would have been without him?

Kakuzu

Kakuzu decided he had had enough. He found Konan in the early morning, before most others were awake and active, in her room. He leaned against the wall next to the door (since he was not fool enough to threaten her) and crossed his arms. "I've had enough. I'm tired of being left out of major decisions. In a group like this, weapon purchases count as major decisions. I want to know why you used my money to buy a dozen packs."

Konan scrutinized him. She tilted her head, deciding how much to tell him. "The group as it stands now is not complete," she admitted. "There were some members that had not died by the time I did. Based on what I have seen of world clones in general, I am prepared to welcome them when they show up."

Kakuzu raised his eyebrows. "You never thought to mention this crucial detail?"

"I have mentioned them, actually. By name and otherwise."

Kakuzu left her alone and wandered the halls wracking his brain for any names she had used that he did not recognize or people she described that could have been Akatsuki members. He couldn't pinpoint any name or description that seemed likely. Neither could Kisame, or Sasori, or even Nagato. At that point, he gave up. If Nagato didn't know, nobody else did. At least I know she didn't order the weapons because she expects to face even worse dangers than the ones we know of. That's something.

General

Kakuzu's questions, of course, raised suspicion. He was careful to say as little as possible, but the amount he was forced to say was enough to get minds going. Kisame wondered why he wanted to know about people Konan might have mentioned from her old life. Was she preparing for the possibility that a really bad world clone, like that world mind-controlling megalomaniac, might come through? Sasori wondered if she had griefs too secret and painful to mention even to them. Nagato wondered why he hadn't been told about potentially important people. Was she hiding something that would upset the group if revealed?

Sasori and Nagato decided not to share their suspicions. Kisame posted his in the group chat. Now that the situation with the vampires seems to be settling down, I decided to look ahead and try to foresee the next dramatic plot twist. That fucked-up megalomaniac who's trying to destroy Konan's world - what if he gets killed and ends up here? What if anyone from her world gets killed, and their world clone is a huge assface who should not be trusted with magical powers, especially not in combination with technology, especially not here?

His questions were good ones. Konan wrote back to agree. Nothing that was known about world clone formation suggested that a person who had an inherently nasty personality from birth couldn't spawn a clone just as bad. However, the population of decent and virtuous world clones was large enough and the geographic area small enough that she didn't believe such a person would be able to cause much of a problem. But it is good to pay attention to all dangers, no matter how small you think they are, she finished. This satisfied Kisame's paranoia. She had also foreseen potential danger and was keeping an eye on it. He trusted her to do that. All was well.

.

Yahiko remembered that he was supposed to have picked up his last paycheck the day before and drove in with Nagato to get it. "You got this," Nagato said before leaving. Yahiko squared his shoulders, held his head high, and walked in.

The first thing he noticed was how little there was to worry about. His former workplace seemed drab, ordinary. He remembered it as brimming with all sorts of things to avoid or at least prepare for. He watched out for a spike of anxiety as he approached the back office. His heart did get a little fluttery, but nothing like the near panics he remembered. "I'm here to pick up my severance pay," he said, and it was as easy as that. He wondered who had been rotated into the women's clothing section to replace him, but wasn't flooded with guilt. He felt hot under what he assumed to be the gazes of his former coworkers, and his heart leaped as he thought They might have heard about what I said to her when I quit. Oh no! But he kept his courage and went in.

His former boss handed him an envelope and rushed away to attend to something else. She didn't even look at him.

He left the store and breathed a sigh of relief. Thank you, Universe. He had nothing else to do, so he went to the bank to immediately deposit it.

.

Hidan forced his eyes open. Mmgh. He yawned. I gotta go visit that cat guy and see if it's true what Konan said. He snuck out, as Itachi was still firmly asleep, and did so. "Hey, I heard rumors," he told the tiger man, who facepalmed. "What? I came here to say congrats!"

"What are you congratulating him for?" asked a passing half-wolf.

"He successfully made friends with a vampire," Hidan said. "Do you have any idea how hard that shit is? They're more closed off than your average drum."

"Really? Jyuu and Reiki had a pretty good time with that one vampire who has a kitten, I heard."

"Yeah, but that guy's special. He's all open to the idea of rethinking their traditions and shit. And it still took him a long-ass time and a fucking war before he would come over for a visit! It's really hard to make friends with people who never get out."

"Hold on, what? Vampires visited you?" Other people heard this and came over. Hidan found himself facing half a dozen people with questions, one of whom was a wolf with a surprisingly threatening gaze. He tried to downplay what had happened, but still they asked questions.

"I thought the vampires hated you, specifically?" one of them asked.

"That's why they came to visit me, specifically. They couldn't stay home with a war going on, so it was their chance to find out if I was really as bad as they'd heard."

"What was it like?"

"Like reconnecting with long lost family." Hidan swooned.

"How are you related to vampires?"

"I also need to drink blood, but not as much. People like me are called vampirics. There's all kinds of conflict there, historical shit, and that's partly why they hate me."

"What were they like?"

"They couldn't believe how friendly and relaxed I was! They've been spending way too much time around their own hard-nosed kind. They really need to get out more. Oh, but that's right - they can't 'cause of crazy violent ninjas. Shit."

"What?"

"Yeah, apparently they originally came from the world of ninjas just like we did. That's why they're so secretive and paranoid."

"Do you think any of them will visit us?"

Hidan scratched his head. "Next time I meet 'em, I'll suggest it. And yes, before you ask, I'll meet them at least one more time. Their leader has to see me." This generated excited buzzes among the Hatakes.

Sakumo showed up to find out what all the fuss was about. "Hidan! I didn't know you were visiting."

"That's 'cause I didn't tell anybody and I didn't know I was until like an hour ago," Hidan replied cheerfully. "Wolf Guy! How are ya?"

"We have not been attacked or anything of the sort. Ruta loves the new setup at the river. Some of the lizards and snakes were very interested to hear that Yahiko has healing powers. Is there a way we could test for that?"

Hidan pursed his lips and dredged up everything he could remember about medical ninjutsu. "There isn't a test for it. You don't need a special kind of chakra to do it, though some kinds give you an advantage. All you need is really good chakra control. If you can control your chakra really well, you can learn healing techniques and practice and become a doctor. But I've heard it's risky - healing techniques can be used to hurt people. Medical ninjas train under supervision and start on animals."

"He doesn't sound supervised."

"He has a special kind of chakra that's whole nature is kindness and gentleness and soothing. Even his plain chakra can help a wound. So nobody worries about him."

"Would he be willing to eventually train some of our people in medical jutsu?"

"Totally." Hidan grinned. He would love that! Having a new job after quitting his old one would be really good for him.

"Let's hope it doesn't take another full month to get around to that," Sakumo said with a laugh.

"Yeah, we can always dream."

.

A/N: It probably will. Or not. It's impossible to make time predictions about this story, as I should well know by now.

"Please squeeze my soul back into my body" is a phrase used in a meme I saw recently about the 5 neurodivergent love languages. Neurodivergent means having autism, ADHD, and/or a related condition. The 5 neurodivergent love languages are: highly pressurized physical contact, telling another person literally everything you can think of about your favorite topic, gifting random objects, doing separate things in the same general space, and giving advice on how to deal with challenging situations a la "This helps me. Maybe it'll help you?" I love this meme just for existing. If I could, I would give the creator of this meme an especially large leaf to show my gratitude. (Edit: I looked up the meme to create this list and saw that the verb used is crush, not squeeze. Eh, close enough.)

I have yet to see a mental doctor capable of diagnosing me with anything. But someday.

So, let's see what happens next week! I love everyone who reads this! You're very nice.