EPILOGUE
One Year Later
As she pulled into the driveway of her house, Maddy was overcome with a sense of gratitude. Over the past two tumultuous years, their lives had finally found solid ground to land on. She felt at peace and immense happiness, knowing where it was she belonged and who she belonged with. She was surrounded by love. Everything about her life was as it should be. It had taken a long time, but it was definitely worth the wait.
She parked the car in the three bay garage, pushed the button to close the overhead door and walked up the steps to the door that opened into the kitchen. She stopped momentarily to listen to what was going on inside the house before going in. She could hear the boys running around and laughing while they played. She could hear the sound of her husband's voice telling them that dinner was almost ready and that he was going to help them get washed up. A smile broke out across her face at the sounds of the wild and crazy domestic bliss inside. She pushed the door open and stepped into the side entrance of the house.
"Momma!" shouted the boys, almost in unison. They dropped their toys and came running towards her, each of them grabbing her around the legs, nearly knocking her over.
"Go easy, guys," said her husband. "Hey, baby...how was rehearsal?" He walked over to where she was standing. He leaned in for a kiss and she happily obliged him. It felt like forever since they had last touched, other than a quick kiss hello or goodbye. Their schedules were hectic and life with two rambunctious boys was proving to be exhausting. Most of the nights they were home together, they ended up collapsing into bed and snoring before their heads hit the pillow.
"It went well, I think," she said. "We tried out a couple of new songs. Les had been cracking the whip ever since we got the record deal, but he seemed genuinely pleased with the results."
"They got that record deal because of you, baby," he said.
"That's debatable. It was a group effort, believe me."
"You never could take a compliment," he said, kissing her on the side of the head. "Come sit down. Dinner is almost ready. I poured you a glass of red," he said, pointing to the crystal stemmed glass on the table. He picked Wyatt up into his arms and took Finn's hand, taking them both into the half bath off the kitchen to help them wash up. When he returned, he lifted Finn up into his booster seat at the dining room table while she put Wyatt in his highchair. They each fixed plates for the boys and got them settled in to eat before filling their own plates.
"Everything tastes delicious. You outdid yourself," she said, swirling a bunch of pasta around her fork.
"Not bad for a guy that doesn't have one drop of Italian blood in him."
"I appreciate the effort, especially on the nights I get home a little later than usual."
"You've been working your hind end off for the last couple of months and you still give so much to me and the boys everyday, so I wanted to do a little something for you."
"You already give me everything I need," she said, smiling softly at him. He shot her a smile back that went straight to her heart. The intensity with which she loved this man couldn't be measured in simple terms. It had been that way almost since the moment they had laid eyes on each other.
"I'm stuffed," said Maddy, as she swiped at the last of the sauce on her plate with a piece of Italian bread.
"Stuffed!" shouted Wyatt, rubbing his belly.
"Momma's little mimic monkey," she said, leaning over and kissing the side of his head.
"How about you clean up from dinner while I give these two monkeys a bath? Sound like a fair trade off?"
"Looking at these two sauce covered kiddos, I think I'm getting the easier end of the deal, so I'll take it before you change your mind," she said.
"Come on, buddy. Time for you and big brother to have a bath," he said, lifting Wyatt into his arms.. Finn jumped down off his booster seat and took his hand. All three of them headed back through the kitchen. Maddy felt incredibly blessed as she watched her husband take the two boys up the back staircase. She finished clearing the table and putting the food away and put the last of the dishes into the dishwasher. She turned it on, then refilled her wine glass and headed into the living room.
She sat down on the sofa and brought her legs up underneath her. With the boys upstairs in the bath, it was eerily quiet, which was unusual for this house. She sipped the wine and looked around at the absolute splendor of their home. She never expected to ever live in a sprawling three story home with six bedrooms, six full baths and two half baths, two fireplaces, a huge gourmet kitchen, formal living and dining rooms, two offices and a giant playroom for the kids. But then again, her husband had a knack for making all of her dreams come true. She closed her eyes and rested her head against the back of the overstuffed couch, sipping her wine and reveling in the calmness. She wasn't sure how much time had passed when she heard her husband's voice.
"They're ready for bed, Momma and it looks like you are, too." She got up from the couch and took Wyatt from his arms and they all headed up the stairs.
"You may have to give me a push," she said, turning around to look at him.
"Don't worry, baby...I got your back...and that shapely little ass of yours. You should bronze it," he said in a low rumbling tone.
"Papa said ass!" shouted Finn.
"Ass!" repeated Wyatt. She turned around to see a sheepish grin on his face.
"Happy now?"
"Papa has no excuse except that he is crazy in love with your Momma," he said, putting his free hand up in defeat.
As they entered the boy's bedroom, Finn immediately jumped into his bed asking for his Papa to tuck him in, who happily obliged his request. Maddy sat in the rocking chair with Wyatt. He had just turned two, but was still occasionally nursing at night before he went to sleep. Finn had done the same thing at that age. As Wyatt latched on, Finn snuggled down into his bed, clutching his favorite blanket with the firetrucks on it. As she did every night, she sang their favorite lullabye. Her mother had sung it to her when she was little. It was the one memory she had of her where she showed her love and made her feel safe and protected. She wanted to give those same feelings to her boys, especially because the last year had been one of huge transitions.
"That's still one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen," he said, sitting on the floor next to the rocking chair. When Wyatt was finished, he got up from the floor and took him from her arms. He laid him in his crib and leaned down and kissed the baby goodnight and told him that he loved him. She pulled her shirt back down and stood up. She leaned down over the railing of the crib to kiss her littlest angel good night.
"Good night, my sweet baby Wyatt. Sweet dreams. Momma loves you," she said as she leaned down to kiss him. She walked over to Finn's bed and did the same with him.
"Good night, my beautiful big boy. Sweet dreams, Finny. Momma loves you," she said, switching on the firetruck shaped night light.
As they turned to leave the bedroom, she saw the little suitcase by the door, all packed and ready to go tomorrow. She was relieved that she didn't have to deal with that in the morning, but she knew it wasn't an easy thing for him to do, even now a full year later after the custody arrangements had been finalized. They tiptoed out of the room and left the door slightly ajar.
"Finn really needs to move to his own bedroom soon. It's not like we don't have enough spare rooms," she said as they walked hand in hand together down the long hallway towards their bedroom wing.
"I know, but every time I mention it to him, he says he doesn't want to leave his baby brother alone, so we may have a little bit of struggle on our hands" he replied.
"Thanks for packing his suitcase," she said, as they walked into the master suite. His reply was nothing but a grumble as he tossed the spare change from the front pocket of his jeans onto the top of his dresser. She walked up behind him and put her hand on his shoulder. He turned around to face her. His face was the picture of sadness.
"Don't be this way, okay? It's a good thing."
"I know. I just hate it when he has to leave here. This is his home."
"His home is also with his father. He's adapted to it. Why can't you?"
"Bullheaded, I guess."
"Yeah...that you are." she said, kissing him on his arm.
"I'm just glad I won't be here when his father comes to pick him up tomorrow. I don't like to watch him leave."
"I don't either, but he's a great father. Even you have to admit that," said Maddy.
"I know he is. It's just hard to watch him leave, especially after the way I grew up. Family is everything to me. By the way, I drew a bubble bath for you," he said. "You may need to run a little hot water in it. It's been sitting for a little while."
"That sounds perfect. I could really use a long, relaxing soak. Will you be joining me?" She rested her head against his bicep and rubbed his chest.
"In a few minutes, baby. I have a little work to catch up on first. Go on in," he said, giving her a quick kiss and patting her behind. She walked through the bedroom, discarding her clothes as soon as she entered the master bath. The water in the tub was still hot, so she stepped in and slipped into the luxurious pile of jasmine scented bubbles. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the bath pillow, feeling her muscles relax almost immediately. The rehearsal schedule with the Rough Riders had become grueling since the recording contract had been signed and she was feeling the effects of it tonight. After a few minutes of sheer, unadulterated peace and relaxation, she heard the bathroom door being pushed open. She looked up to see her husband standing by the side of the bath and holding a bottle of champagne and two long stem crystal glasses.
"Feel like celebrating?" he asked, staring down at her. She could tell everything he was thinking just by reading his body language and watching the naughty little twinkle in his eyes.
"Oh, yeah," she said, purring like a kitten who had been given a big bowl of cream. He knelt down and placed the glasses on the rim of the garden tub, then popped the cork out of the bottle. It bubbled over onto his hand and into the bath water.
"Ooooo, that's no ordinary champagne. That's the good stuff," she said as she swirled her tongue around the tips of his fingers.
"Cristal. Nothing but the best for you, baby. You've earned it."
"No...we earned it...both of us." They clinked their glasses together, then they each took a sip of the delicious, pale bubbly liquid. "You realize that things are going to change a lot over the next couple of years, right? I'll be recording in the studio a lot and going on tour at some point. With Finn starting school in the fall, it's going to be crazy. I'm not sure I'm ready for that, to be honest," She followed his gaze as he kneeled down next to the tub until his face was level with hers.
"You're more than ready. You were born for it, baby…and I will be right behind you and those two little monkeys every step of the way," he said, cupping her neck with his hands. He leaned in slowly, parting his lips slightly as they softly brushed against hers. "I love you so fucking much," he said just before covering her mouth with his and enveloping her in a deep, wet kiss.
"I love you too, you beautiful hunk of man," she said. His cheeks blushed slightly as he scoffed at her loving, yet somewhat sexist description of him.
"Like I've always told you...you're the beautiful one in this relationship." He placed his hands on her upper arms and started massaging the tight muscles in her neck and shoulders.
"Oh, God...that feels so good," she moaned, dropping her head forward.
"You ain't seen nothing yet," he said in a deliciously salacious tone. He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on the back of her neck.
"Mmmmmmm…" was all she could manage to say as his mouth moved up and down her neck.
"Hold that thought, baby...I'm gonna go check all the doors and peek in on the boys one more time before we get into bed. I don't want any unexpected interruptions tonight."
"OK, I'm gonna dry off and meet you in front of the fireplace," she said, standing up and grabbing a towel off the towel bar.
"Why bother drying off...I'm only gonna make you wet again," he said with a devilish smirk.
"Oooo, is that a threat?" she asked as she held the towel up in front of her.
"No, baby…that's a promise."
"I may fall asleep underneath you," she teased.
"That's why I'm making you get on top tonight. You'll have to stay alert to do all the work," he said with a wink. He leaned in for a quick kiss, then slapped her wet ass, making her squeal.
"That's a good start, baby. Be right back," he said, picking up the champagne and glasses before disappearing through the bathroom door. She finished drying herself off, then wrapped her short pink silk robe around her. He had bought it for her last birthday and it was his favorite. She ran a brush through her hair and brushed her teeth. She rubbed her hand across the condensation on the mirror so she could check her face. She wanted to look pretty for him tonight, even though he always thought she was pretty, no matter how she looked. When she was satisfied with the way she looked, she shut off the bathroom light and walked into the bedroom. There was a small fire burning in the fireplace. On the little table between the two wingback chairs in front of the fireplace sat the rest of the champagne and the glasses. She sat down in one of the chairs and poured more champagne into each glass. She put her feet up on the ottoman, leaned back and closed her eyes. She took a sizable sip of the champagne and let out a tired, but happy sigh. Her life was exactly where she wanted it to be. It took a lot of hard work and tears, but she was finally at peace. She had everything she ever wanted and the reason for it all was because of the man she loved. He was everything to her. He had helped her get through a difficult time, even though it had been equally difficult for him. His love for her was strong and it gave her the courage to do things she wouldn't ordinarily do. Signing a recording contract was one of them. He encouraged her to do it, saying that he would support her and help make sure things fell into place.
"Are you asleep, baby?" The sound of his voice roused her out of an unexpected snooze.
"Just resting my eyes," she said.
"Your resonating snore tells another story," he said, sitting down in the chair next to her. He was wearing a smirk and a pair of the silky boxer briefs that he loved to see him in those. He was still the sexiest man she had ever known and he always would be.
"But you love me anyway," she said.
"I do. So much it hurts," he said, reaching across the table for her hand. She put her hand in his and he brought it up to his mouth and kissed the back of it.
"You make me feel like royalty when you do that," she said.
"Well, you are my queen," he said, picking up his glass of champagne and downing it. He got up from his chair, her hand still in his, and stood in front of her. He pointed to the glass in her hand, indicating that she should drink the rest of the champagne left in it. She took a sip of it and put it back down on the table. "You might want to finish that now, my queen. You're going to be preoccupied very shortly with my head between your legs," he said. His voice was low and sultry, even more than it usually was, and it filled her with a burning desire.
"Hmmmmm...Cristal or cunnilingus," she said, pretending to weigh some invisible things in her hands. He picked up the glass and handed it to her. She quickly downed the contents so she could turn her attention to the gorgeous man in front of her.
"You first, my handsome husband," she said, looking up at him. He had a wicked grin on his face and a familiar look in his eye that she recognized from many years ago when they first met. She stood up and ran her hands over his chest, lightly grazing his nipples.
"Does that feel good?"
"Mmmmmmm," was all he could say in reply.
She licked at the sensitive flesh and sucked them each in turn into her mouth. She kissed down the middle of his chest down to his stomach and his happy trail, stopping at the waistband of his boxer briefs. She hooked her fingers in the elastic and slowly pushed them down around his feet. His impressive erection bounced gloriously in front of her. She gripped him firmly and buried her face in his ample pubic hair, drinking in his earthy scent. She moved her head down and flicked her tongue lightly at the bottom of his sack, making him draw a sharp breath in. Her tongue followed the natural ridge of the underside of his cock until she reached the end. She circled her tongue around the tip of it, taking the clear drop of fluid with it, then took the length of him into her mouth.
"Fuck," he moaned. His hands fisted in her hair as she moved her head up and down his length. He shifted his weight and widened his stance slightly. His hand pulled her hair to one side as he gazed down at her, expertly pleasuring him.
"That is a beautiful fucking sight," he said in a low gutteral tone.
"It certainly is," she said, looking up at him. He took her by the hands and pulled her into a standing position.
"Do you remember the first time I did that to you?" she asked.
"I remember every fucking time you ever touched me," he said in his trademark low rumbling tone. He slowly untied her short robe and let it fall off her shoulders, exposing her breasts.
"See anything you like?" she purred.
"I see everything I like. Sit down in the chair, baby," he said and she dutifully followed his direction. He made a low growling noise as he pushed the ottoman out of his way and kneeled down in front of the chair. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a slow, deep kiss. His hands snaked up her back and into her hair as his mouth ravaged hers. She could taste his hunger and the wild passion he had always had for her. He moved his lips down to the side of her neck, kissing and licking as he moved further down her body. He pulled her left nipple into his mouth and his fingers brushed the right one, making them both bead under his skilled command. His hands encircled her waist as he moved his mouth down her stomach, placing kisses all the way until he stopped just above her pubic bone. He placed his big hands on her thighs and gruffly pushed them apart, making her gasp. He pulled her bottom down to the edge of the seat, then ducked his head between her thighs and when his warm, wet tongue connected with the sensitive flesh of her swollen sex, she nearly bucked off the chair. She held onto his head for purchase, fearing she would fall off the chair and onto the floor. It had been a while since they made love and her body was more than ready for his masterful touch. His tongue made slippery circles around and around, bringing her close to the precipice so many times, but stopping just before she could reach it. Each time, he would say "Not yet, baby. Hold on for me."
Without saying a word, he stood up, pulled her up by the arms, then slung her over his shoulder.
"Caveman," she giggled as he walked towards their king sized bed.
"But you love me anyway," he said, slapping her bare ass and making her squeal. He sat her down on the end of the bed and she laid back, stretching out her arms and legs. He climbed over her, his face hovering just above hers.
"I do...so much, it hurts," she said, just as their lips met in another perfect, passionate kiss.
He got up on his knees and spread her legs apart, then took his erection in his hand and placed it at the opening to her sex. He rubbed the tip of it in the middle of her wetness, making her throb even harder than she already was. With one deep thrust, he was inside of her, taking her breath away. He continued to push in hard and withdraw slowly. Her body was under his complete control, just as it had always been from the first time they touched. Looking into his amazing eyes, watching his beautiful face and feeling his body connecting so perfectly with hers was all she needed to push her over that delayed, elusive edge. A powerful orgasm engulfed her in wave after wave after wave. An expression of pure ecstasy took over his face as he felt her coming.
"Christ Almighty," he said, as he reached his own release. He continued to thrust hard with each spurt until he had no more to give. He slowly pulled out and collapsed on top of her, breathing heavily. He raised his head and kissed her again before rolling onto his back.
She turned her body over and snuggled up close, languidly draping her leg over his. She ran her fingers through his chest hair. She pushed her face into the hair of his underarm, kissing his skin and drinking in his natural body scent mixed with a combination of the frankincense and palo santo that he favored. His body was warm and damp. He smelled of sweat and musk and sex and of home. Their home. The one they had built together. She felt drunk, drifting comfortably somewhere between the hazy, dizzying afterglow of their lovemaking and the white hot desire to do it all over again. Her body felt limp and infinitely satiated, even though she knew that her hunger for him would never truly be satisfied. His breathing was rapid and ragged, his chest still heaving under her hand. She reached up to touch his face, only to see him looking back at her, his eyes reflecting her face. He grabbed her hand and kissed her fingers.
"Goddamn, baby. You still wear me out," he said, sounding out of breath. A grin broke across her face as she placed kisses on the side of his chest.
"I do that on purpose so you'll have nothing left to give to any other woman," she said. He shifted slightly and grabbed her around the waist, pulling her naked body on top of his. He brushed her hair back and framed her face with his hands.
"I don't want any other woman. Just you," he said.
"After all this time and all we've been through, you still think that it's me that you belong with, huh?" she asked, knowing full well what his answer would be. She could feel a few tears prick at the corners of her eyes as she looked down at the beautiful man underneath her. They had gone through so much in the past couple of years that neither of them had had the time to sort through all of it. All they knew at this point in time was that they loved each other and that they would spend the rest of their lives taking it one day at a time together.
"Hell, yes. You know that you're perfect for me. We're perfect for each other. You're not beginning to doubt that, are you?" He brushed a couple of stray tears away from her cheeks with his thumbs. She shook her head no.
"Good, because you sound a little crazy when you talk like that, baby."
"But don't you ever miss being alone? You and I had a relatively quiet existence before. Now, we have two rambunctious boys with lots of noise and craziness. It's like a three ring circus sometimes," she said.
"Hell, no...this is the way it was meant to be, baby...you, me and those two beautiful little howler monkeys," he said, pulling me into another kiss.
"So, you don't mind having to steal moments like this late at night after a long hard day when the kids are finally asleep?"
"Not at all...in fact, I find it kinda sexy," he said. He had a wicked little grin on his face that made her want to pounce on him like a cat does on a mouse. He made her feel that way every time he looked at her.
"Christ Almighty, you're still the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, you know that?"
"You need glasses. I'm almost forty-one. It's no longer physically possible to be the most beautiful thing you've ever seen." He shifted his body and turned her around so she was laying on her back with him between her legs. He grabbed her face with one hand and gazed into her eyes.
"If I say you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, then goddammit, you are," he said, just before covering her mouth with his. She held onto his broad shoulders as he continued his soft, wet assault on her mouth.
"This beautiful face is the last thing I want to see before I fall asleep and the first thing I want to see when I wake up every morning for the rest of my life," he said, caressing her cheek with his thumb. " We found each other in this crazy, messed up and fucking beautiful world because we belong together. We belong in each other's arms. We're connected by more than love, by more than commitment, by more than even fate…and all for the simple reason that your presence is the only thing I will ever truly want. I didn't think it was possible to love you more than I already did, but everyday that goes by, my love for you gets bigger and stronger."
"Imagine the love we could have had if we hadn't lost so much time together," she said, softly crying happy tears.
"Don't think that way, baby. We're together now and we have the rest of our lives ahead of us. That's all that matters. Nothing and no one is ever gonna take us away from each other again. I fucking love you like mad, Cookie."
"I fucking love you like mad, too, cowboy."
She sat on the couch watching Finn and Wyatt playing in the middle of the living room while waiting for Matt to arrive. She took a sip of her tea and tucked her legs underneath her. She smiled as she watched her sons playing together. Finn was becoming a great big brother to Wyatt already, even though he wasn't yet five years old. Wyatt idolized his older brother, following him around everywhere he went. She drew in a few deep breaths and let them out, trying to steady her nerves, even though she knew it wouldn't help. What she really needed was a shot of bourbon added to her tea, but since it was only ten o'clock in the morning, alcohol and its calming effects would have to wait.
The sound of a car door closing in the driveway made her jump. She put down her tea and pulled back the drape to look out the front window. Matt was walking from his truck towards the house. He was wearing his white Captain's shirt. It fit him snugly and showed off his physique. She loved it when he wore that shirt when they were married and he knew all too well what seeing him in this shirt always did to her.
"Goddamn him," she whispered lowly, not wanting the boys to hear. Her heart began to pound. This is ridiculous, Maddy...She got up from the couch and headed to the front door. She reached it just as Matt rang the doorbell.
"Hi, Matt. Please, come in," she said as she opened the large oak door. The look on his face was tentative.
"Thanks. Is he ready to go?" he asked, his tone was perfunctory at best.
"Yeah, his suitcase is all packed. I just have to grab it. It's up in their bedroom. Can you keep an eye on these two rugrats for a couple of minutes?" She asked as she headed towards the main staircase.
"Yeah, sure. Finn doesn't even seem to know I'm here anyway," he said.
"He gets like that when he's playing with Wyatt. Don't take it personally. They're in their own little world."
"They get along really well, don't they?" said Matt, admiring how well the boys were playing together.
"Brothers. They're like two peas in a pod. I'll be right back.."
She ran up the staircase and into the boys bedroom. She folded up Finn's favorite blanket with the fire trucks on it and picked up the little fire truck shaped suitcase that Jace had packed the day before. When she got back downstairs, Matt was sitting on the couch with Finn on his left leg and Wyatt on the right.
"Here you go," she said, walking towards them. The sight of the three of them warmed her heart. This past year had been a tumultuous one for everyone and it was reassuring to see some harmony.
"OK, guys...time to go," he said, kissing the side of Wyatt's head before taking him off his lap and setting him down on the floor. Finn jumped down from Matt's lap, grabbed his suitcase and started dragging it towards the front door.
""Hang on, buddy. I'll get that. I just want to talk to Mommy for a minute." Finn pushed the suitcase down and plunked himself on the top of it. Matt turned his attention away from Finn and back to Maddy.
"I understand congratulations are in order. A recording contract, eh?" he said.
"Yeah, it's pretty exciting," she replied.
"You're an amazing singer, Maddy. It's well deserved."
"Thank you. It's a little scary, though."
"I'm sure it is. It'll mean a complete change of lifestyle. Won't the recording schedule and eventual tour take you away from the kids for extended periods of time?"
"Jackson's building a state-of-the-art recording studio right here on the property, so I won't have to go too far. Touring is a ways off, but I'm sure we'll figure that out."
"Where is Jackson, anyway? He's not hiding from me, is he?"
"Hardly, Matt. He wouldn't hide from you. You should know that by now."
"Sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Where is he?"
"He left for the airport early this morning. He has some business to take care of at the ranch in Texas and he's bringing Harper back here for the last part of her spring break from school. They'll be back in about a week." Matt nodded his head, looking down at the floor.
"Harper's a senior now, isn't she?"
"Yeah, it's hard to believe I have a daughter who's getting ready to graduate high school, especially since the boys are still so young. Which reminds me, I'd like to take Finn to Texas for a few days in May when Harper graduates, if that's alright with you. You're welcome to come too, Matt," she said.
"Yeah, sure. Whatever," he said, sounding a little impatient. "Jesus, you're just one big happy family, aren't you?" he said, lifting his head up and looking directly at her.
"Don't, Matthew...please don't. We've come so far," she said, feeling her frustration begin to rise. Ever since their divorce, she found herself immediately on the defensive with him almost every time they talked.
"I'm at a loss here, Maddy. I still can't figure out when you stopped loving me and decided our marriage was over. Did I miss something?"
"Matt, we've been over and over this. I never said I didn't love you anymore. The situation just got too hard," she said, sounding exasperated.
"Too hard for who? You or Jackson?"
"Nothing has ever been too hard for Jackson, Matthew. He's survived torture, for Christ's sake, so make no mistake about what he's able to endure." Her anger was dangerously close to bubbling over the edge and her patience was wearing thin. He loved to hammer at Jace, but only when he wasn't around to defend himself. That was the safest option.
"So it got too hard to love me? Is that what you're saying?"
"Yes, that's what I'm saying. It's no different than what you feel about me."
"There's where you're wrong, Maddy. I still love you just as much as I ever did."
"You're lying, Matthew! Every day after we found out Jackson was Wyatt's father, I could sense the different way you looked at me, the difference in your touch and even the way you kissed me. It was painfully obvious. You couldn't get past the fact that I slept with Jackson and had his baby, just like I couldn't get past you fathering a child with Dawson. On top of that, you know how she was with me…always goading me and twisting the knife. She is a nasty, cruel and unhappy woman. She showed up at my house unexpectedly one too many times when you were there, screaming and causing a scene. That's why it got too hard. We did our best, Matt, but the odds were stacked against us. No marriage could survive that kind of infidelity and betrayal of trust. I think we both had unrealistic expectations of what our marriage should have been from the very beginning."
"Maybe you're right. Maybe we were in love with the idea of us and how we both thought we should be. We romanticized our life together for years, before we ever said 'I do' to each other. Maybe that set us up for failure."
"That and a couple of other things."
"Gabby and Jackson." She folded her arms across her chest and nodded her head, trying to hold back tears.
"I'll go back to what I said at the beginning of all of this…two people who truly love each other don't sleep with other people, Matt. Jackson has never betrayed me. I belong with him. I knew from the moment I met him that he would be the love of my life and having him come back had to be a sign. I'm sorry, I know that hurts you, but it's just that simple sometimes." He nodded his head without speaking, but she could see tears in his eyes.
"And finding out our marriage wasn't legal was the final nail in the coffin," he said.
"The Walker family never declared Jace as legally dead. I had no idea about any of that since I was brought back to Chicago a few weeks after we were told he died. It was just another sign that we needed to end things, Matt." She was tired of going over this same subject for the last year. "How is Isa, by the way?" she said, trying to make a concerted effort to change the subject.
"She's fine. She turned two a few weeks ago. Getting big, just like Wyatt, there...although he's quite a bit taller than she is."
"Well, his father is six foot four." Matt looked away from her and over at the boys who were now quietly playing on the floor with their dozens of Matchbox cars. She could see the sadness on his face. "I'm sorry, Matt. I shouldn't have said that either."
"It's okay, Maddy. It's the truth."
"Are you and Gabby ever going to take your relationship further?" Matt shook his head.
"Oh Christ, no. It would never work. Gabby hasn't changed. She's still the controlling force of nature that she was when we were married. You've been witness to that over the last few years. She's not a nice person, Maddy. I knew that long before all of this happened. Besides, it's not Gabby that I love," he said as he reached out to brush a stray tear away from her face. His soft smile told her he was thinking about the way they used to be before their life together was ripped apart. His dimple was on full display along with the little scar under his left eye. She reached out and lightly touched it with the tips of her fingers.
"I will always love this scar, Captain. It's a reminder of when we first fell in love," she said, choking back the urge to sob.
"And I will always love you, Maddy," he replied. His hand slid down to the side of her neck as he stepped closer to her. "There is a piece of my heart that will always belong to you, Matthew. I hope you know that," she said, with tears quietly streaming down her face. He pulled her closer and kissed her forehead. "I do…and that alone will give me some peace. OK, buddy...let's go," he called to Finn as he abruptly stepped away and cleared his throat. She thought she saw tears in his eyes again, but he quickly ran his hand over his face before she could see. Finn came running over as Matt picked up his suitcase and blanket. Maddy knelt down to give him a hug.
"Bye, Finny. Be a good boy for Daddy and mind what he says. I'll see you on Sunday," she said, as she pulled him into a hug and kissed his cheek.
"Goodbye, Momma. I'll be back in a couple of days, so don't cry, OK?" he said. He had been saying that to her every other weekend since she and Matt had worked out the custody arrangements, but it wasn't getting any easier. She still felt her heart sink every time Matt came to take him to his house. It was the new house they were supposed to share as a family, so Finn was in comfortable surroundings, but the situation was still a little difficult to accept. She knew Matt always took good care of him and as much as Finn loved Jackson, he also loved his father just as much and spending time with him. If someone had told her five years ago that she would be divorced from her high school sweetheart and remarried to the greatest love of her life who was reported dead by the army, she would have told them they were batshit crazy.
"OK, my sweet boy. I love you, Finny," she said.
"I love you too, Momma. Bye bye, baby brother," he yelled to Wyatt, who immediately came running over to his big brother, with his arms opened wide for a hug.
"Bye," said Wyatt as he waved his little hand. Matt stepped towards her and snaked his arm around her waist. His face was only inches from hers.
"He's a good big brother, isn't he?"
"He's a good kid, Matt. At least we can say that we got one thing right."
"We got a lot more than one thing right. Bye, baby," he said, softly kissing her cheek.
"Bye, Captain," she replied as she kissed his cheek. Matt had to fight against the urge to shift his head and kiss her on the mouth. He damned Jackson Walker to hell for taking the only woman he would ever love away from him. He turned and headed for the door with Finn close behind him.
"Hey, Matt?" she called out, making him stop and turn around.
"Yeah?"
"Do you have any plans for Easter?" Matt shook his head.
"No...at least nothing more than having Finn and Isa that weekend. Why?"
"I thought maybe you'd like to join us for Easter dinner. It falls on Wyatt's birthday and Harper will be here, as well as Em and Kelly. I'll understand if you'd rather not. I know it may be a little awkward for you, but I thought I would ask anyway. I'd really love it if you could join us."
"You'd be alright with Isa being here, too?"
"Of course I would."
"I think I would like that, as long as Jackson doesn't mind," he said without a hint of hesitation. His smile was broad and for the first time in two years, she sensed they were finally making some progress.
"He's fine with it, Matt. In fact, he's the one that mentioned it first. Whether you know it or not, you're a part of this big happy family. Jackson obviously thinks so, too."
"Good. Then we'll be there."
"That's great, Matt. We'll talk more on Sunday when you bring Finn home."
He smiled and blew a kiss before heading out the front door with Finn.
"Progress, indeed," she said, as she watched Matt buckle Finn into his car seat. Content with how this visit went she turned her attention to Wyatt and the mess in the living room that she was hoping to transfer to the family room and eventually to the play loft upstairs.
"Come on, Wyatt. Help Momma pick up some of these cars, okay?"
"K," he said, picking up two cars in his little hands and toddling behind her.
Matt sat in the driver's seat of his truck and drew a deep breath in. He wiped his face with his hands and looked up at the large stone wall that decorated the front of the mansion. The mansion where Maddy lived with Jackson Walker. Matt had always known that she would end up with Jackson the moment he came back into her life, even though he held onto the hope that she wouldn't want to break up their marriage, at least for Finn's sake, but Finn seemed more well adjusted to the situation than he was.
He turned the key in the ignition and put the truck in reverse. He backed out of the long driveway and onto the private road that led up to the house. As he put the truck in drive, he turned his head to the left and looked back up the driveway towards the house.
"I'm not giving up, Maddy. I will never give up," he said.
