Chapter 23

Meng Yao was torn.

He missed the Unclean Realm greatly during his time away at Gusu – it was where his mother and Sisi were. It was where Nie Zongzhu was. It was the place that had made him feel like home when no where else had wanted him.

But then he'd met Lan Xichen, and the man had been nothing but kind to him, sharing tea with him daily and asking him about his life and his experiences. The man did not have a unkind bone in his body, and he knew why Wei Wuxian had been so drawn to Lan Wangji when his brother had been just as wonderful, if not more.

He'd never felt anything like it; the way his heart would beat faster when he was around Lan Xichen, and the blush he felt when the man had stood up for him time after time against his father's sect.

But Nie Mingjue had made him feel safe. He was the one who had threatened other sect leaders for insinuating anything about Meng Yao. He was the one who gave him a home, a job, and the chance to be more than just the circumstances of his birth.

Both men were incredible.

And clearly in love with one another.

He didn't fault them for it – he could see how drawn they were to one another, what with the way Nie Mingjue's brashness and protectiveness stood against the warmth and compassion of Lan Xichen. Both were older brothers who would do anything for their siblings. Both were sect leaders or future sect leaders. And both of them were way beyond any station he could ever hope to obtain.

But still, he cared for them, possibly more than was appropriate. And it confused him.

"A-Yao, what is it?" his mother asked him as she sat down beside him.

He was sitting off to the side of the training field, watching Nie Huaisang flutter around with his fan as he took down training dummy after training dummy, while Nie Mingjue watched on in approval and Wei Wuxian bounced up and down in excitement.

It was clear the boy had made significant improvements when he'd been allowed to cultivate in his own way, and Meng Yao couldn't help but a rush of pride for the young boy. Despite what others may have thought, he knew the boy was smart. He hid it well, not wanting his brother to know just how mischievous he was and how much he really knew. He be surprised if there was a secret in the Unclean Realm that he didn't know.

"Can you care about more than one person?" Meng Yao asked his mother, who softened at him.

"Oh, A-Yao," she said kindly, "It seems as if you were unfortunate enough to inherit my heart."

"Mother," he protested, and she rubbed his back.

"There is nothing wrong with caring for people," she told him before he could get a further word in, "Especially in a world where so many would choose to hide their feelings than be clear with how they feel. But the world is big and it can be cruel. I loved your father for far longer than I should have, and I deluded myself with the hope that he would one day come. Hope can be dangerous, but it can be powerful in its own right. It gives us the power to stay strong even when it seems like everything is falling apart all around us. But that does not mean it is wrong to love or to care for people."

"What does it mean then?" he asked her hopelessly.

"It means that you deserve to be happy," she told him, "But at the same time, be aware that not everyone will have your best interests at heart. Be careful with whom you fall for and who you give your heart to. However, if it is a question of Lan gongzi and Nie Zongzhu, I do not think you will need to fear them hurting you."

"How did you know?" he asked in shock, and she kissed his head.

"You are my son, of course I know what you feel," she smiled kindly, "I cannot say whether they will return your feelings or not. But I can say that I do not think that either will hurt you. Not intentionally anyways. You would be in safe hands around them, even if they do not return your feelings."

"But how can I have feelings for more than one person?" he asked, confused.

"From what I gather, that is not abnormal in Qinghe," his mother said, "I have heard many stories of couples with three or four people in their relationship, all of whom are equally loved and cherished. Even that the late Nie Zongzhu loved his two wives and they each loved both him and one another."

"Nie Zongzhu mentioned that," he mused, remembering a talk he once had with the man, and he saw his mother glance over to where Wei Wuxian was attempting to bribe Sisi into giving him a piece of candy, and her eyes softened at the sight.

He took in a deep breath, recognizing that look.

It was the same one she once made when talking about his father.

Did she?

"Mama?" he asked her, sounding unsure, "Are you and Sisi?"

"We're still figuring it out," his mother said, "For so many years, both of our lives were filled with instability and pain. But now we are both free to begin anew. We're not in a rush to make any decisions. But I care for her. Is that okay?"

"Of course," he said quickly, "Sisi is family. She raised me alongside you. When I went to buy your freedom, I did it with the pain of knowing I couldn't save her too, and it hurt so much. I didn't want to leave her behind. I don't know what I would have done if it weren't for A-Xian insisting we freed her as well. If she makes you happy, then that is more than enough for me. You deserve that after everything you've gone through."

"You deserve to be happy too, A-Yao," she told him gently, "You had to grow up far too quickly to make up for my mistakes of raising you surrounded by so much pain and suffering. Let others take care of you for a change. You do not need to be so strong all the time. It is okay to rely on others."

"Yes, Mother," he agreed, as he saw Nie Mingjue swing his saber at Nie Huaisang, who squealed but blocked it with his fan, causing Nie Mingjue to let out a laugh of joy.

Wei Wuxian hugged his brother, who looked stunned by the entire thing, as Nie Mingjue messed up both brothers' hair.

He didn't know what he wanted to do about his feelings. Maybe he could ignore them and it would fade with time.

But he knew no matter what, he would always be safe here in the Unclean Realm. And that he would have a friend in Gusu whenever he chose to visit there. And for now, that was more than enough for him.


Lan Xichen meditated alone in his rooms as the storm raged on outside. His brother had left the day before in search of the remaining pieces of the Yin Iron, and he couldn't help but worry. He knew his brother was capable, but he hated knowing the dangers he would be in, especially at the cost of his own life.

Still, he tried to not dwell on it too much; it wouldn't do any good for him to get too worked up with what could happen. Wangji was a capable cultivator and if there was anyone he trusted with the mission it was him.

He felt something move outside, and without opening his eyes he said, "Wen er-gongzi, since you are here, please come inside."

He opened his eyes then as the man materialized in front of him.

"Amazing hearing, Lan gongzi," Wen Chao mocked him.

"You came so late at night," Lan Xichen said politely, "What can I do for you, Wen er-gongzi?"

The man stepped in his white rug, wiping his muddy feet on it, but Lan Xichen did not react to him.

"Wen Qing told me that your back hill of Cloud Recesses is strictly guarded," the man said, "Are you hiding some sort of treasure there?"

"The back hill is where we lay our ancestors," Lan Xichen said, as it was a true statement, "We guard it in case it is disturbed by strangers."

"Then I'd like to make some offerings towards them," Wen Chao smirked at him, knowing that Lan Xichen was hiding something. "Can I have permission to go visit?"

Lan Xichen kept his composure, "Wen er-gongzi, please leave," Lan Xichen said simply.

"Lan Xichen," Wen Chao addressed him disrespectfully, "Do you think we cannot do anything because your spiritual power is high?"

The man laughed as he came closer to him, so that he was only a bit away, "Although I can do nothing now, are you forgetting that your brother just set off without any company? It would be a shame if anything were to happen to him."

He tried to steady his breathing, but his fingers twitched as Wen Chao nailed a point that had been terrifying him, and he knew Wen Chao took notice.

He laughed then, as he stalked out of the room yelling out, "Make sure you turn over the Yin Iron soon, Lan Xichen, if you want your sect to survive."

He used a talisman to close the door, before starting to shake. He couldn't lose his brother. He wouldn't. Wangji and his uncle were his family. Even if his father was still alive, he never saw him. But Wangji was his little brother. He was supposed to keep him safe. Supposed to make sure harm never came to him. How could he do so if his brother was off, out there on his own, with no one by his side?

He couldn't go after Wangji, his sect needed him. But maybe he could write to Nie Mingjue. Wei Wuxian was just as capable as Wangji. If anyone could assist him with his task and help keep him safe, it would be him.

Yes, that could work.

Wei Wuxian wouldn't let anything happen to his brother. And his brother wouldn't let anything happen to him. The two would be able to watch each other's backs, and hopefully then they would be safe from whatever it is that the Wen sect threw at them.

He just hoped they would be able to gather the remaining pieces swiftly and return home where they would be safe.


Nie Mingjue's lips pursed as he looked at the letter from Lan Xichen in his hands. The Wen sect was getting bold indeed, sending Wen Chao straight into Lan Xichen's home without the courtesy of even writing ahead or coming during a respectable hour.

He felt anger rage in him. How dare the man break into his lover's home and threaten his brother? He would run his saber through the man if it wouldn't instantly instigate a war for doing so.

He could see the fear in Lan Xichen's words, reading between the lines as Lan Xichen dictated to him just what had happened.

"Meng Yao," he called out, "Can you ask Nie Huaisang and Wei Wuxian to come into my office please?"

Meng Yao bowed, as he took off to find his two brothers, who were most likely off causing some sort of chaos or the other.

As much as he missed his brothers, he had to admit that his house had been peaceful while they were gone.

Even if it was too quiet at times.

His brothers, however, seemed eager to change that. The moment they came home, Wei Wuxian had started talking constantly about Wangji, telling everyone in his sect how amazing the Second Jade of Gusu was. And Nie Huaisang had commissioned a play to be put on in a few months, insisting that he missed all his entertainment.

"Da-ge," Wei Wuxian said, as he dragged Nie Huaisang into the room, "Did you miss us?"

Nie Mingjue rolled his eyes, "No."

"Da-ge," Nie Huaisang pouted, "How can you say such a thing! I missed you so much while we were in Gusu. Do you even love us?"

"I love you both plenty," Nie Mingjue refused to give in, "But I saw you both an hour ago at lunch."

"So?" Wei Wuxian demanded, "That was so long ago! Da-ge, do you know how sad we were without you?"

"Meng Yao told me you were constantly bugging Lan Wangji, and Nie Huaisang made several friends there, including spending quite a bit of time with Jiang Wanyin," Nie Mingjue said.

"Da-ge," Nie Huaisang pouted.

"I called you both in here for a reason," Nie Mingjue said, bringing them back to the point, "I received a letter from Lan Xichen."

"And you want to tell us about it?" Nie Huaisang crinkled his nose.

Nie Mingjue exhaled. Those two were really trying to test his patience.

"Wen Chao visited him last night," he said, and that instantly sobered up both of his siblings. "He wants the Yin Iron Lan Wangji and Wei Ying found. He knows there's more to the back hills than Gusu claims. Wangji has set out to try and find more of the pieces, and Xichen's worried about him. He asked if you can accompany him, A-Ying."

"I'll go," Wei Ying said instantly, "I can meet up with him. Lan Zhan's so strong, but he shouldn't have to fight them all alone. I'll go."

"Good," Nie Mingjue said, knowing his brother would agree instantly. He didn't like sending, his brother out there, but he knew that there were far greater things at risk.

"Why am I here then?" Nie Huaisang questioned.

"To make sure neither of those two unnecessarily put their lives at risk for one another," Nie Mingjue said, and Wei Wuxian protested weakly.

"Hey," Wei Wuxian said, "I wouldn't risk myself! I mean only if there was no other way! But I can take care of myself, I promise!"

"Which is why I'm sending your brother with you," Nie Mingjue nodded, not believing him for a minute.

"Fine," Nie Huaisang sighed, "If only to keep him from doing anything stupid. Or flirting the entire trip."

"We don't even know if there will be any pretty jiejies for me to flirt with," Wei Wuxian argued.

"That wasn't what I meant," Nie Huaisang said mocking him.

"Then what do you mean?" Wei Wuxian asked in confusion.

"One day, you're going to be hit so hard in the face with a realization, and it's going to blow your entire world," Nie Huaisang said sweetly. "I'll go pack my pouch."

"Da-ge," Wei Ying whined.

"One day, A-Ying," Nie Mingjue patted his head in amusement, "Now go pack."

"Yes, Da-ge," Wei Ying pouted, as he turned to leave.

He sighed to himself when he was left alone. He was going to miss his brothers as they left again, but he knew that it was for the best. The longer the Yin Iron was out there, the worse off they'd all be.


Lan Wangji felt something moving quickly towards him, and he raised his hand to catch the mandarin that had been shot at him with an arrow.

"Wei Ying," he said simply, as he tossed it back to his friend.

"Lan Zhan!" Wei Ying beamed at him, "Did you miss me?"

"It has been less than a week since I saw you," Lan Wangji said, without confirming or denying his claim.

"You're breaking our promise," Wei Ying pouted as he rushed to catch up with him, "We said we'd go on night hunts together, but then you went and left by yourself! Lan Er-gege explain yourself!"

"Do you want him to hit you?" Nie Huaisang said, smacking him on the back of the head, and Lan Wangji felt displeased by it, as Wei Ying rubbed his head. No one abused Wei Ying.

"Luckily, Xichen-ge wrote to Da-ge and asked that I go with you," Wei Ying ignored his brother, "And I found you! I missed you, Lan er-gege, even if you didn't miss me."

"Ridiculous," he said simply, because how could he not miss Wei Ying?

Brother had written to Wei Ying? Had something happened that worried his brother?

"Wen Chao visited him," Wei Ying said softly, reading his mind. "Xichen-ge was worried, and Da-ge agreed to let Er-ge and I come join you on the hunt."

Lan Wangji led them to a boat, and he stepped into it carefully, before helping Wei Ying in. The other boy had a tendency to fall, and he didn't want him to end up in the water, or worse, on top of him once more.

His ears turned red at the memory of it, as they sailed across the river.

It was a while before they approached land, but he sat in contentment as he watched Nie Huaisang and Wei Ying goof around with each other. He always felt a rush of warmth to see Wei Ying treated so well with his family, despite his lack of blood relation. It was clear that Nie Huaisang and Nie Mingjue cared clearly about Wei Ying, just as Xiongzhang cared for him.

When they approached the area he had been intending them to go through, he swiftly began walking, wanting them to arrive in town at a reasonable hour.

"Lan Zhan, you're going so fast!" Wei Ying whined as he tailed after him, "Lan Zhan, wait up!"

He did not slow down. Wei Ying would get hungry if they were out for too long, and he wanted his friend to be able to eat warm food.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Ying said, as he felt a talisman hit his back. He looked up in surprise to see his hand tied to Wei Ying's.

"Didi, must you insist on torturing him?" Nie Huaisang rolled his eyes, "He's going to run you through with his sword."

"He was going too fast," Wei Ying protested simply, "I wanted him to wait for me and for us to walk together. Besides, it's not the first time our wrists were bound."

His ears turned red as Nie Huaisang looked at him shrewdly. Just because Wei Ying did not know it's meaning did not mean that everyone else did not.

"It's a new talisman I made. Are you impressed, Lan er-gege?" Wei Ying said, as he closed the space between them. Should I call it binding? Or bonding?"

"Shameless," he said simply, his heart beating faster. Why did Wei Ying have to use such honeyed words without even realizing how it made others feel?

He started walking faster, before feeling something pulsing in his sleeves. He pulled out the pouch that housed the Yin Iron, to see it glowing.

"We must be close," Wei Ying breathed, "Here?"

"We will go to town," Lan Zhan nodded, as they began walking towards the nearest one, Tanzhou.

The streets were lively and festive, and he noticed Wei Ying and Nie Huaisang get amused by all the pretty trinkets they saw. Could it be that Wei Ying had wanted one for himself? Should Lan Wangji buy one for him?

He saw Nie Huaisang pull out his coin purse, and buy Wei Ying a piece of candy, and he felt a surge of jealousy. He should've been the one buying the trinkets and what not for Wei Ying.

He stomped down the feeling knowing he was breaking the rules. It was Wei Ying's brother buying him the treats. He had not done anything wrong. And seeing Wei Ying's face light up, how could he be anything less than pleased?

"Will you try one?" Wei Ying asked him, as he approached Lan Zhan and popped one of the candies in his mouth before Lan Zhan could protest. He ate it gingerly, cherishing the sweet he had been given. "Do you like it? Lan Zhan, do you like sweets?"

How long had it been since he'd allowed himself to indulge in anything as such?

"Mm," he said, swallowing. Not since his mother had given him candies. His brother had tried, but he'd refused, in fear that the Elders would punish them both.

"Then I'll buy you more," Wei Ying said, satisfied. "Just you wait, Lan Zhan. I'll buy you so many treats that your cheeks will get nice and round."

"Just don't use our entire treasury," Nie Huaisang rolled his eyes as he looked at one of the fans in a stall.

"Says you," Wei Ying stuck his tongue out at him, "Da-ge says you're going to bankrupt our clan with your spending."

"Excuse me, I'm using them for decorating out sect and bringing in treasures to help elevate us," Nie Huaisang sniffed, "You however, are spending it on an outsider."

"It's Lan Zhan, he's not an outsider," Wei Ying protested, warming Lan Zhan, "He's my best friend! He deserves all the candies."

"Wei Ying should not spend in excess," Lan Zhan said kindly.

"How is it excess if it's on you?" Wei Ying protested, moving closer to him. "I want to buy you so many nice things."

Lan Wangji paused, as he noticed a crowd begin to form in front of them, and he tugged Wei Ying along gently to see what it was that everyone had gone to see. Could it have something to do with the Yin Iron?

Wei Ying seemed to understand what he meant, and he grabbed Lan Zhan's sleeve, as they approached the group.

"What's happening there?" Nie Huaisang questioned, as they went towards it.

"Gongzi, what's going on over there?" Nie Huaisang asked, as they struggled to see above the heads of the large group. "It is an invitation to see the Lady Florist. Lately, she had been inviting cultivators to her mansion to recite poetry. If anyone recites something that is elegant and brilliant, she will greet them in person."

"I read about her," Nie Huaisang said in excitement, "In The Florist Lady and the Flower Phantom."

He recited a poem about the Lady Florist then, and a flower that would last for three years, but the smell forever.

Would Wei Ying like such a flower as a gift?

He glanced over at this friend, somewhat longingly, hoping Wei Ying wouldn't notice as he chatted with the man about the florist.

He did not notice Nie Huaisang studying him shrewdly.

He paused then, as he noticed flower petals flying from the air, as Wei Ying looked up in amazement, "So beautiful," Wei Ying said, catching one. "Lan Zhan, these would look so pretty in your hair."

Lan Zhan went to move away, but Wei Ying tucked the petal into his hair before he could react and Lan Zhan stood there froze, as Wei Ying fingered a strand of his hair delicately.

"It suits you," Wei Ying smiled at him, and Lan Wangji held his breath. Wei Ying. Wei Ying was so innocent and pure, and he flirted so easily without even a care of how he was affecting Lan Wangji.

Did he truly see them as just friends? Or did he know Lan Wangji's feelings?

He didn't dare hope that his friend would reciprocate. That would be far too much to wish for.

He felt the Yin Iron pulse in the pouch once more, and he shook off his thoughts. They had something more important to focus on. The sooner they got all the shards of the Yin Iron back to Cloud Recesses, the better. It was too dangerous to leave on the streets.

He just needed to focus.

"We need to go," Wei Ying said, catching on, "Why do I have a feeling that there is more to this florist?"

"Mm," Lan Zhan nodded in agreement. They moved to the town carefully, wanting to not attract too much attention as they headed towards the Lady Florist's manor.

"I've actually been here once before," Wei Ying admitted as Lan Zhan glanced over at him, "During one of her last poetry recitals."

"Mm"?" Lan Zhan asked as he walked beside the other man, looking over at him curiously.

Wei Ying scratched his head, "Actually, I tried my best to get one of the flowers. I know Er-ge really wanted it so I was hoping to win one for him. But no matter what poetry I recited or how hard I tried, I couldn't seem to get her to appear."

Lan Zhan said nothing, having a feeling he knew where the story would be heading.

"And actually, I was thinking, that if I couldn't get her to appear by wooing her, then maybe I could annoy her into showing up," Wei Ying proved him right.

"I told him it was a really stupid idea," Nie Huaisang rolled his eyes at him.

"I was trying to win a flower for you!" Wei Ying protested.

"Which I appreciate, San-di, but did you think annoying the spirit would really help you out?" Nie Huaisang bumped into him lightly, causing Wei Ying to stumble towards Lan Zhan.

Wei Ying yelped out, as Lan Zhan reached out to steady him carefully, and his friend smiled gratefully at him.

"I know," Wei Ying sighed, "But Lan Zhan, I did it anyways. And she got so annoyed with me then that she pelted me with flowers, wanting me to leave her garden. And when I tried to go back the next year, she pelted me again when I tried to enter. I never once saw her face, but it's possible that she may still hold a grudge against me for it."

"Ridiculous," Lan Zhan said fondly, "I will win you a flower to give to your brother."

Wei Ying paused as he looked up at the man, "Lan er-gege, you're too good! If you go in there and recite poetry, between your beautiful face and your sweet words, she'll have no choice but to show up and shower you with praise and flowers."

His ears turned red.

"Can you stop complimenting him for even one moment?" Nie Huaisang said, exasperatedly.

"How can I when he's so good?" Wei Ying demanded, "Look at him! He is truly a god amongst men. He deserves all the praise and respect."

"Shameless," Lan Zhan said, quickening his pace so the two would not notice the red spreading to the rest of his face.

"Lan Zhan, wait for me! Don't make me bind you up again so you don't leave me behind!" Wei Ying cried out.

Lan Zhan paused suddenly as they approached the mansion, causing Wei Ying to run straight into his back.

"Oof," Wei Ying let out, "Why'd you stop?"

"Oh," Nie Huaisang breathed out, sensing it too.

"Something is wrong," Wei Ying said in understanding.

Lan Zhan held one hand on the grip of his sword as they entered the mansion carefully, seeing nothing but shrivelled flowers and resentful energy in the garden.

And there, in the centre of the garden, lay a single dire owl feather.