3/6
cheshirecat: Hey Crow, would you mind coming by my house at some point today? I have something I want to show you.
pancakeman: I'm sorry, who is this?
godlygeneral: Apologies, that is my master.
pancakeman: Oh, alright. I'll come by later.
I arrived at Alice's house, whose lawn was green with patches of snow here and there. Several dolls greeted me, opened the door for me, and inside I found tea set out on the coffee table and Alice, Nitori and Mamiko seated and facing me.
"Welcome," Alice said. "I trust you had no trouble coming here?"
"Not at all," I said, kicking off my shoes and taking a seat. "I have a decent understanding of how Gensokyo is laid out by now."
"Were you surprised to see Alice having one of our communicators?" Nitori smiled.
"We felt it would be a good idea for Alice-sama to have her own, rather than rely on mine," Mamiko said.
"We also came up with a provisional code name for her for chat conversations, even though she doesn't fight and explore with us," Nitori said.
"After some thinking, I decided upon 'Alexandria,' as in the Library of Alexandria, since my motivations are different from all of yours, seeking to uncover the Metaverse's mysteries and the secrets of the human heart, rather than raging against corruption and evil. Since I otherwise work alone, we felt mine didn't have to be 'snappy' and quick and easy to say during a fight."
"I think you're just trying to show up Patchy," Nitori smirked.
Alice giggled. "Well, perhaps."
Nitori took a sip. "So, how was your day yesterday? Alice told me all about the trip you all took to Makai a couple days ago."
I thought for a moment, then said, "Well, Utsuho wanted green eggs and ham, so I put on a radiation suit and gas mask and made it for her, Sam-I-Am."
"Mm-hm, kinda reminds me of the 'Macrowave' someone I know made with her one time," Nitori said. "The cucumber was in there for only a few seconds, but nobody wanted to touch it for three days until it stopped glowing." She took a sip. "And besides, I thought you said you sucked at cooking,"
"I used to, but I'm gradually getting better, thanks to Kirisame-san and Alice here."
"I had him quickly fire up a stir-fry when we got back to my place that night after dropping off groceries for the Mansion," Alice added. "It's… passable, but there's definitely room for improvement." She shook her head. "Then again, from what I've heard, Utsuho can be sated with off-brand bird seed, so I think you did well enough for at least her."
I sniffed the air. "Speaking of cooking, your house smells like coffee and curry, just like LeBlanc."
"Alice-sama recently taught me how to brew coffee," Mamiko said. "It's rather different from brewing tea, grinding up the beans and then filtering hot water through them…"
"There's quite a few things you can get in Makai that you can't find in Gensokyo, like good coffee," Alice said. "Makai has everything you could ever want, if you know where to find it and can pay the price, money or… otherwise." She took a sip. "But, we're getting off-topic. The reason we invited you over was because Nitori helped me and Mamiko build something."
"You? Building machines?" I wondered.
"I mean, building a machine wasn't the main point," Nitori said, "but I remember Reimu saying that she thinks you'll make a great incident resolver, based on how far you've been coming along with spell cards and your fighting skills in the Metaverse. It's just that… well… a guy in bog-standard Japanese clothes like you doesn't exactly inspire fear in the hearts of ne'er-do-wells. So, me and Alice came up with the idea that we'd bust together a tailoring machine that could make you a full wardrobe of incident-resolving outfits!"
"Oh really?" I said. "Tell me more."
Alice waved her hand, prompting dolls to stream in carrying sewing supplies, needles, balls of string and fabric. "It's as she said, we want to make you stand out from the crowd. I will admit, I'm not the best at designing clothes for men, but I will try my best to make your appearance as sharp as your wit."
I smiled. "Well then, let's get started."
Alice insisted on getting manual measurements on me, not fully trusting the "auto-fit" feature on Nitori's machine, and she was very meticulous and thorough. Waist size, arm span, shoe size, even head circumference for the hat. Once she had the measurements she needed, she presented a set of swatches, of which I was allowed to pick three. I chose light brown (my favorite color), gray and black in that order. Once this was done, the measurements were programmed into the rig, which had a screen showing extra features I wanted to add such as pockets, zippers, the color I wanted for the tie and undershirt (I chose colors to match each suit), a back buckle for jackets and, for whatever reason, cupholders. When it came time to select a hat, I chose a fedora for each, mostly because I thought I'd look a little silly in a bowler hat without a lit cigar with its own zip code in my mouth. Finally, the machine went to work, stitching each suit together and creating an extra copy of each, for a total of six outfits.
Once it was done, I took one of the finished outfits, went into the bathroom to change, before emerging to show off my brand new outfit: one which seemed straight out of a classic film noir or detective story. This particular outfit had a light brown jacket made out of high-quality felt with an analogous tie and white undershirt, a tan fedora, similarly tan slacks and chocolate-brown, spit-shined leather shoes. It also came with a matching overcoat styled similarly to the one on Ren's Metaverse outfit but without the coattails.
I tipped my hat before putting it up on the coat rack like a proper gentleman. "So, ladies, what do you think? Did it come out as well as you had hoped?"
Alice held her hands together and smiled. "I think it looks wonderful!" she said. Nitori, meanwhile, appeared to be in a frozen rictus, as if the sheer dapper and manliness in front of her was too much for her mind to process. I tried waving my hand in front of her face, to no effect. Alice tried poking at her with a doll, only for Nitori to reflexively punch it across the room.
"Is she… okay?" I asked.
Alice looked down at her and gave her a nudge. This caused Nitori to snap out of her trance, and to jump up and down squeeing. "Omygodomygodomygodomygodomygodomygod, it's…I mean, I've made excellent machines before, but that suit of yours is just… *sniff*... perfect…"
…I… didn't even have the energy for a comeback at that moment.
Alice chuckled. "Well now, Mr. Casanova, it looks like you've got yourself a home-run look right there."
"Yes," I said, a bit irritated. "And now it will be impossible for me to go anywhere without throngs of girls hot on my heels." I looked at myself in the mirror and examined the suit. "Still, this is a wonderfully made suit. In fact, I daresay it rivals the suits on display at high-end Ginza retailers, and those are all thousands of dollars at a minimum."
"Ginza?" Alice asked. "Where's that?"
"It's one of the richest, most exclusive areas in Tokyo," I explained.
"Oh really?" Alice smiled. "So you're directly comparing my skills to those of the glitziest and most skilled clothes makers of the Outside? I'm… I'm actually really flattered. I've never known someone who could even make that comparison."
Nitori leaned against her machine. "And now we can get absolutely filthy rich offa this!"
"I don't think that much money even exists in Gensokyo," Alice said.
"We could always defeat more shadows," Mamiko said. "They always carry lots of money."
"I mean, yeah, but we gotta have another source of income besides dungeon-crawling," Nitori shrugged.
"I recall hearing about a game one time about a girl who inherits an item store mired in debt who then has to exploit capitalism and role-playing game logic in order to turn things around," I added. "Perhaps we could try opening up a Lawson's, Family Mart or 7-Eleven here."
"I mean, if it means anything, we got the Coke secret formula, just not all the ingredients," Nitori said. "Like, we have plenty of cocaine, just not the caramel coloring."
…either they have the old recipe, completely misunderstood it, or both, I thought to myself.
Alice produced a list and handed it to me. "Right, then. Here are the care instructions for these clothes." I looked over them and felt daunted. Doing laundry here without a modern washer and dryer was already a time-consuming challenge, and I always had my suits dry-cleaned, so reading her meticulous instructions for spot-cleaning and dust and lint removal made me realize that caring for these things was going to be a massive chore. Still, I realized it was worth it, in order to look sharp and professional while facing down whatever threats Gensokyo would have in store for me.
"Thank you, Alice," I smiled.
"I'll help you carry them back home so that they don't get wrinkled," Mamiko offered.
I bowed. "I would appreciate that."
Later in town, after helping me carry back the suits and hang them up, Mamiko asked if I could show her around the town, and she had come with me in traditional clothes so that she could "fit in" with the villagers. This was my first time being "one-on-one" with her, so I obliged; I wanted to see what the puppet was like away from her master.
It was late in the afternoon, and Keine was letting her kids out of the Temple School, so the streets were buzzing with activity. We managed to find an out-of-the-way spot away from the crowd from which we could still observe them.
"This place is very busy today," Mamiko said. "It's just like the crowded streets of Kolkata or Mumbai."
I looked at her. "How would you know? Have you been to those places?"
Mamiko shook her head. "Like I said, I am a shadow who roamed throughout the Sea of Souls, the Collective Unconscious. I have no experience with the human world, yet at the same time have recollections of experiences as though I had actually been there. In other words, I can remember places I'm certain I have never visited."
I thought for a moment. "Sounds like deja vu," I remarked.
"'Deja vu?'" Mamiko asked, tilting her head.
"The feeling that you have been somewhere or done something before, but you can't acutely recall whether or not you actually have. That feeling hits all of us at some point, but in your case I suspect it has something to do with the fact that you are a shadow representing Vajra, and so have memories that the real Vajra would be expected to have, based on the cognition of the masses."
Mamiko looked down. "Cognition is a strange force. I act the way I do, know the things I do, and behave the way I do, simply because that is how I'm expected to be… Even before I took over a doll's body, I was nothing more than a puppet of the masses…"
A puppet. I knew that feeling all too well. A piece on a chessboard, moved according to the whims of the person tugging my strings. I had allowed myself to become a "useful idiot" for the Conspiracy, and my father especially, carrying out their whims and bloodying my hands because they were too lazy, too weak or too cowardly to do so themselves. And then there was the God of Control, if they were to be believed, who played not only me, but also the Conspiracy, the entire public, and the Phantom Thieves, Ren included. We were all played for fools.
And then there was Mamiko. A shadow, an avatar of a god. In human culture, gods were revered as powerful beings deserving of worship and respect. Yet, when one thought of it, they were just as easily chained by the expectations of humans, and disappeared the moment they stepped out of line, or simply stopped being worshiped as people forgot about them. Here was an individual whose personality, habits and memories were shaped by what Hindus and Buddhists held Vajra to be. A true puppet, in every sense of the word, one who possessed a doll created by an actual puppet master, even if said puppet master was benevolent and wished the best for her.
I held her shoulder. "We'll help you find your own identity. We're your friends, after all, and friends don't let friends fall behind. Eventually, you'll find the strength to forge your own path as you see fit. You alone, not anyone else, decides who Mamiko Shinshou is."
Mamiko smiled. "...thank you. It's reassuring, knowing that you all are on my side." She pulled back. "Of course, for now I am content attending to Alice-sama, as I owe much to her, or training with Youmu or at the Temple. But, I would like to see more of this place, and have my own experiences as well."
"That would be wonderful," I smiled. "Perhaps embarking on a 'training journey,' where you meditate on top of a frozen mountain crag, a riverside, or venture into the depths of Hell itself, among other things." I chuckled. "Well, okay, perhaps not that far, but you get what I mean."
Mamiko nodded. "Right. I am certain I will create my own image for myself."
"That's the spirit," I said. "Now then, why don't we go get some drinks?"
3/7
At some point, I realized that I was getting enough messages from people that I decided to place a mailbox outside so that they had somewhere to put those messages besides just slipping it under the door and getting it dirty. This morning, I opened it to discover its first such message: a rose-decorated letter summoning me to the Scarlet Devil Mansion. No doubt Remilia had business with me, so I put on one of my new suits and made my way over.
"I must say, you are rather sharply dressed today," Remilia commented in between sips of tea.
"Thank you," I bowed. "It was a gift from my friends. They said that I needed 'real' incident-resolving clothes and that I shouldn't go everywhere looking like a regular villager, because I think by now it has been established that I am not."
Remilia gave a noblewoman's chuckle. "Indeed, indeed. You are an uncommonly extraordinary man." She took a sip. "Now, then, you might be wondering why I have summoned you here today." She looked up at me. "Specifically, it concerns your imminent ruin."
"Are you… talking about how you revealed my past last time, or how, according to you, Gensokyo is headed straight for Hell?"
She shook her head. "Oh no. I'm talking about an even more imminent ruin. One which is capable of causing the downfall of any man on Earth, even one who is as charming as you."
I paused. "What… do you mean?"
"I mean…" She drew a string, then revealed several other strings hitting it not far from where it flowed from her finger, after which it plummeted straight down. "It would appear as though the fates of several ladies crash into yours at this exact point. As you can see, this will occur not too long from now; if I had to guess, perhaps in one week."
I took in Remilia's words. Several ladies, crashing into one point, one week from now…
…White Day.
"Gah!" I exclaimed, hitting the table.. "How did I forget?!" I sighed. "How am I going to repay all of those favors?"
Remilia chuckled again. "Ohoho, it appears you have fallen into the curse of good charms attracting favors from ladies." She wagged a finger. "But you know, each return gift has to be three times the value!"
"You think I don't know that?" I said dryly. I sighed again. "Well, then, I suppose I'll have to go out shopping and find things which I can give back to all of them…"
Remilia shook her head. "Oh, that will not be necessary. I can do you one better. That is why I have called you here today." She leaned over the table with a glare and a smirk. "What if I told you that I have something in this mansion that will impress even the most uptight and serious of women?"
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Well well… in this mansion, inhabited by powerful sorcerers, we have created an indoor beach, the likes of which is unmatched by anything in Gensokyo."
I sat up. "An… indoor beach? Like an indoor waterpark that they have at hotels Outside?"
"No, I mean an indoor beach. Sand, saltwater, tropical breezes, and enough tequila to make more coconut drinks than we know what to do with. We reserve it only for the most special of occasions, but in this case I'm thinking you may be worthy of inviting your friends to come and experience it."
I rubbed my chin, thinking about her offer, and wondering about any "strings attached" that there might be. She was a vampire, and called herself the "Scarlet Devil," so I knew she was likely a master of hiding clauses in the fine print to manipulate people, assuming she wasn't lying about having something as impossible as an indoor beach. It didn't help that demons occasionally told the truth, either to lure people into a false sense of trust, or to toy with people who assumed demons always lied.
"Can I see it first?" I asked.
"Certainly," Remilia replied.
Remilia led me through the halls, down a flight of stairs and into the mansion's basement. The first thing we were faced with was a set of massive, engraved oak double doors, and the word "Scarlet Bibliotheca" emblazoned on a golden plaque above them.
"This is the entrance to the mansion's vast library and archives," Remilia explained, "and where Patchouli lives. We will not be venturing inside today, but I am certain you will be able to experience it in time."
I marveled the door in front of me. "The door itself is very large. How big is the library beyond it?"
"If it gives you a sense of scale," Remilia said, "the entire rest of the mansion would be able to fit inside of it with room to spare."
My eyes widened. "I see."
We made a turn down another corridor, leading toward the mansion's expensive wine cellar, as well as another door which the fairy maids and hobgoblins filed in and out of; Remilia explained that the mansion remained an active wine estate, but all of the winemaking work occurred in this facility. Further down the hallway was a door labeled "DANGER: AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY," after which we arrived at one last door right at the end of the hallway. Remilia pointed at the lock and chanted a short spell, which popped it open and allowed access inside.
After passing through a short, gray hallway with changing rooms, another door opened to reveal quite the sight: glistening white sand, which my shoes met the second I stepped through the doorway, beyond which lay palm trees, a coming and going tide of ocean water, all encased in an underwater aquadome underneath the lake, through which the sun's rays filtered through the rippling surface, and the vast, blue abyss sprawled out in all directions in front of us. A massive fish swam by the glass, before Remilia clapped her hands, causing the scene to be replaced by bright, blue, sun-blasted sky, the air to warm and clam up as though we were on an Okinawan Island, and a gentle breeze to blow off the "ocean."
"So," Remilia smirked, crossing her arms. "What do you think?"
"It's incredible," I said. "Truly incredible, that you would have a place like this right here…"
"The home of the Scarlet Devil, master of the sorcerous arts and Wu Xing, deserves nothing less," she boasted. I looked behind me, and saw the door back out to the hallway disguised as a beach house. "As you can see, I have spared no detail. A layperson transported into this place would scarcely realize this place was not the real thing."
I nodded. "Certainly, you could perhaps recreate The Truman Show here."
Remilia turned back around. "Anyway, this place could easily repay the debts you owe all those girls. Inviting them to a day in this place could be all yours… for a small price, of course."
I chuckled. "I figured there had to be a catch. I'd doubt a person of your character would just let proles mess around in your mansion as they like."
"This is part of our deal, after all," she said. "You are a man who can change fates. I want you to demonstrate your ability to me, to change the fortunes of those headed toward ruin for the better." She spun around and struck a pose. "Because while I am a vampire, the last thing I wish to see is for Gensokyo, this place I call home, to fall straight into the abyssal maw, swallowing everyone and everything there is."
I couldn't tell if she was being serious or not, particularly given the way her wings were flapping.
"In any case, there are three fates I have identified for you to change," she said, handing me some paper slips. "If you are to invite those ladies who gave you chocolate to this place, you must accomplish this task by Monday, in order to allow us time to send out the invites and have them respond. Should you fail, you will certainly face ruin. But I doubt you will fail. I have faith in you to accomplish the impossible, Trickster."
I bowed. "I shall not let you down."
"Fufufu… splendid," Remilia smiled.
When I returned home, I looked at the three slips Remilia had given me. The first was, surprisingly, of a previous target we had dealt with, Hideo Ginza, the bully's bully. At first, I was curious as to why he was headed for ruin when we had changed his heart… until I remembered that his bullying affected the other boy to become distorted himself, suggesting Hideo's own distortion was itself caused by another force. While I didn't know what that could be, I had my suspicions, either another kid or, as his shadow had previously indicated, his parents. We had encouraged him to stand up and tell his parents to stop fighting, but that may not have been enough if the reason they were fighting was beyond his ability to control.
The second appeared to be a shopkeeper. Either he was losing business, or someone was taking from him. That, I felt I could easily solve.
The third one, I realized, would be an order of magnitude tougher than the other two: Mononobe no Futo, the girl with whom Miko was with during my drinking date with Reisen and co. I didn't really know her, so it was impossible for me to guess how it was she was headed toward ruin.
I tried saying their names to my key; only Futo produced a result, pointing me to the "Virya" block, no doubt a higher-up block of Ethos. The other two would require a skill I wasn't sure I'd ever use quite like I used to ever again.
I put on my hat, hit the street, and engaged in some private-eye detective work.
The first comments I got from the villagers who recognized me from my stunt the other day were compliments about my outfit, to which I simply thanked them and tipped my hat before moving on. I walked over toward the Temple School, which I knew would be getting out around this time. I managed to pick out Hideo from the crowd, who wandered around for a bit before I approached him.
"Good afternoon," I said.
Hideo turned to me. "Oh, Akechi-san. What are you doing here?"
"Oh, just going for a walk, although I am also running errands for Kirisame-san." I looked around. "Are your parents not coming to get you?"
"No, I'm old enough to walk home by myself." He looked up at me. "But, I'd love to talk with you. I've heard all sorts of crazy things about you, and the girls won't shut up about it. I just want to know if the stories are true!"
I smiled. "Then, I'd be happy to oblige."
"...and so, after that, I just… I don't know. Something in me told me I had to apologize to him, so I did, then when I went home I came right into my parents arguing again. Normally, I'd just hide in my room or be with my friends or something, but that day, I just threw myself right into the middle of it and pleaded to them to stop, they were only hurting me, my sister and themselves by fighting all the time."
I nodded. "And… what happened next?"
"Well, they…" Hideo looked down. "They just… the room was quiet, and then both of them broke down crying. Even Dad, a big, strong man I'd never seen cry. They brought us all together and laid out everything: long ago, when they were kids, they wandered too far from home and into some gambling den, lost everything to the hag who runs the place, and now her goons constantly harass them for money they owe her. They never talked about it before because they were ashamed of it, and I guess the stress of it all caused them to fight, because they had to work all the time to throw money at them just to keep them away." He hung his head low. "Now… we just don't know what to do. We wish we could just get out of it, but…"
I patted his shoulder. "Don't worry. I'll make sure your family doesn't have to suffer. I'll find those ruffians and ensure that they stop."
Hideo looked surprised. "You… you really think you could do it? From what they said, they were all pretty scary youkai…"
"I beat a curse god," I said. "Plus, I have powerful friends, and Outside I took down Yakuza cells all by myself. I scarcely think some money-grubbing hag is going to be too hard."
Hideo smiled. "Heh, so I guess you're just as awesome as the girls keep saying." He walked the rest of the way home with more spring in his step. "We'll be counting on you!"
"Don't worry," I said back. "I always deliver on my promises."
On my way back through the square, I stopped to get some groceries for me and Masato. After doing so, I chose to visit the store of the man whose fate Remilia wanted me to change.
"Ah, good afternoo-" he started to say, before stuttering. "Oh, well if it isn't Akechi-san!"
"Why, hello," I said back. I set my groceries down. "Don't mind if I put these here for a moment? I'm out running errands for Kirisame-san."
"Oh, no, by all means," he said. The shop in question sold wooden furniture and cabinets, all of them masterfully crafted, albeit with some empty spaces in between each item on the shelves and along the walls.
"Do you make these yourself?" I asked him.
"Why, of course," he said. "I take pride in what I do. Clocks, cabinets, dressers, I've been making these since I was a boy, and I'm quite good at it, if I do say so myself."
"I see," I said. "They must sell well, if there is so much empty shelf space between all of them."
"Well, yes…" he replied… in a tone of voice suggesting he was troubled.
"Is… something the matter?" I asked again.
He shook his head. "No, it's nothing." Except I could tell it was something. No one acted fatigued and dismissive if they faced no major issues at the moment.
I came up to the counter and looked at him. "Are you sure? It sounds like you're troubled."
"Really, it's nothing," he said, shaking his head again. He paused, then looked at me. "...oh, who am I kidding? I've been sitting on it for so long and told no one, then some charming kid from the Outside comes along. I dunno if it's just the fact that you probably won't care or I don't know you or what but…"
"I am a detective," I said. "And, I work with incident resolvers. If you're having an issue, I can help get to the bottom of it."
"I'd doubt it," he said. "Truth is, some years ago I went out, did stupid kid stuff and ended up in a gambling cave run by some mountain hag. I let greed get the better of me and ended up owing them a whole lotta money, and now they take my stock as 'payment.' They used to send agents down to collect them while making it look like a sale, but now they just make it disappear somehow." He crossed his arms. "Anyway, a kid like you shouldn't be sticking your nose in it. That place is full of youkai who'll deceive you and take every cent you own before flayin' you alive."
"Are you sure?" I asked again, this time in more of my trademark cold, serious tone. "You haven't heard of how I chased off that curse god?"
He paused for a moment, before chuckling. "Heh. Well, I guess you do know Red and Black. Guess you could have them help you, or something. But I'm not responsible if you get killed, got it?"
"Understood," I said, tipping my hat. Before I left, I decided to support him by purchasing a clock, which I hung up in my room when I got back.
I was satisfied. I had a brand new Ethos target, and leads from two people pointing to, it sounded like, the same individual. Before going to bed, I sent a brief message asking everyone if they were free for a meeting tomorrow, to which they all said yes.
And to an extent, it felt good to be back in the saddle of being a detective, this time doing real detective work, not the rigged cases I "solved" after instigating a psychotic breakdown or two.
