A/N: I finally decided to move this fic into the mature section. I don't think there's anything in here that requires a trigger warning yet. I just wanted the extra wiggle room.
Chapter 10: For Selemene and for the Dark Moon
She didn't come.
I had been so worried about her visit, but as my blessed voice confessed my sins, my dread turned to acceptance and then desire for her guidance.
I'd remained hopeful and ready through the last hours of the night, thinking her delay had been to help me reach that new state of mind.
Now the first night of the Dark Moon was over. Selemene would have seen all of her other priestesses over the course of the night and possibly a few in her inner circle as well. And yet, she had not come to see me.
I swallowed down my disappointment.
Because I was her High Priestess, the goddess usually visited me first on the Dark Moon, but there was nothing usual about this situation.
I was outside the Nightsilver Woods. I had left my Lunar Tigri behind. I was without a conscious attendant. I was injured due to fighting a man-dragon. I had interrupted my prayer and had conducted it in the presence of an outsider. I had almost betrayed my goddess's love twice and of course, there was the original sin that began it all:
I had let the goddess's lotuses be stolen.
There were far too many reasons for why Selemene could have decided I didn't deserve to see her. Honestly, I was beyond blessed that the goddess hadn't demanded I be killed without an ascension ceremony for losing her precious lotuses. Instead, my merciful goddess had sent me away from the Nightsilver Woods with Mirana, Sagan, a blessing, and a smile.
Selemene still believed in me and all I had done was continue to fail to live up to her expectations and my previous incarnations. I hadn't even been repenting properly this cycle. Instead, I had spent half my time daydreaming about some pagan.
Maybe I really was High Priestess Phoebe reincarnated. Maybe I was destined for…
No.
I couldn't think that. The goddess wouldn't have let me go on this all-important quest if she thought I was that unworthy.
Right?
Worthy or not, my sins had been confessed. I had done what I had done. All I could do was wait for Selemene to pass her judgment and guide me to the true path.
As for why she did not do that last night…
The goddess was just testing me. It was like how things were before I became a priestess.
I knew what I had to do to pass.
Selemene loved best those who loved her best.
I just needed to prove to the goddess that I loved her first and foremost and that I was trying my best to be the version of myself she expected me to be. That meant I needed to do more than sit in a cave and let my blessed voice mutter prayers and entreaties for me.
As Selemene's High Priestess, I usually requested the goddess's notice on the Dark Moon by trying to craft something nearly half as beautiful as she was. I might be injured, on a journey, and the Dark Moon had taken me by surprise, but that was no excuse. Selemene expected better. She deserved better. She deserved the best I could give.
So, no more moping and doubting my goddess. It was time to start a new day and prepare for my next night of worship. And that meant it was time to eat.
As catching our meals usually fell to my traveling companion, I turned my attention to him.
The Dragon Knight lay on his side facing away from me. His large frame was wrapped around the fire I had placed near the cave entrance to make sure the smoke did not kill us.
Judging by how quiet and still he was, the Dragon Knight was probably asleep. I briefly considered letting him rest. Davion had not slept well last night. Even after I brought him inside the cave and made a fire, he had shivered a lot, but allowing him more sleep wouldn't serve Selemene or me. So, I whistled loudly at the Dragon Knight.
No response.
I tried again and made the sound shrill.
Still nothing.
I sighed.
Okay. Fine.
I got on all fours and crawled the short distance to reach the sleepy Dragon Knight.
I tapped his shoulder.
He didn't move and his skin was so cold.
No.
I leaned forward to put my hand under his nose and felt air come out of it.
He was breathing.
He was alive.
Thank Selemene.
I gave Davion a light thwack. He shouldn't have scared me like that.
Davion grunted and tried to roll away from me and right into the fire!
I scrambled to pull him back, throwing my weight on top of him.
That made the accident-prone man thump loudly onto his back with me on his stomach.
Even that didn't wake him. He just made a weird growly sound and slept on.
I knew I could be a heavy sleeper but this was on a whole other level. Was it because he was sick?
I knew next to nothing about healing. Illnesses were rare in the Dark Moon Order, so my only real reference was from my time before I joined. I pushed away the bad thoughts that immediately came to mind and tried to focus on my mum.
I remembered that she used to tell me to get lots of rest and that she would give me soup when I was sick. Would that help Davion?
My stomach let out its own opinion.
I wasn't sure if food would help Davion, but I was sure it would definitely help me. I needed to prepare for the second night of the Dark Moon so I could see my true love. Since it looked like I was going to be keeping my prayer scars activated today, breakfast was now thrice as important. I would think better and be more useful to everyone once I filled my stomach.
I sent a prayer to Selemene for her to lend me her strength and then I stood. With the goddess behind me, I could now get food and material for a small shrine. I kept Davion in sight while I made short trips in and out of the cave for the stuff I wanted. First, I picked up whole armfuls of colorful leaves and twigs. Then I found some wild sage and two bushes filled with lotus pink berries which were the perfect color for my shrine, even if they smelled too weird to eat. After I harvested the berries and sage, I went over to the nearest muddy spot and kicked some of the stuff closer to the cave, earning myself a free muddy foot bath.
I think my activities pleased the goddess because as I was carting my second log back to the cave, I finally located my next meal!
There were several blonde squirrels scurrying high up in the trees.
After missing a few times, I got a feel for the distance and started taking them out with pebbles. I managed to kill eight squirrels before the rest found places to hide.
Not bad.
With breakfast secured, I returned to the cave once more. I had already placed the twigs, the leaves, a mostly hollow log, and the larger log I had gathered near the small fire, but nothing was dry enough to help me make the fire grow big enough for cooking. Luckily, I had a solution. I reached into one of my small pouches and pulled out a single strand of ember orange hair. I held it above the fire. The flames seemed to jump to meet it. I quickly dropped it in and the fire roared to life.
That was better. Davion seemed to think so too because he rolled back onto his side so that he was nearly touching the flames.
I sat down next to him. With the goddess's strength coursing through me, I couldn't feel his temperature, so I settled for a brief visual inspection. I was very professional. No groping or lingering on his muscles. I just noted that his color looked better and that he seemed more relaxed. Then I turned my attention back to the important matter of breakfast.
The squirrels were not that good. They were stringy, a bit salty, and overall, tasted a lot like dead grass. I still ate six of them and could have easily eaten a dozen more. However, the goddess had only provided eight so I decided to combine the remaining two with a bunch of leftover bones, some rainwater, and sage in a pot that I had smashed together from the mostly hollow log and a couple of twigs. I then rigged the whole thing up to cook above the flames using some of the larger sticks that I had gathered and twine from one of my pouches. I hoped that the soup would be good for Davion and maybe Mirana as well.
Every night while Davion slept, I had taken the Moon Fae out and watered her. Her color had started to improve some over the last couple of nights and I had thought the rainwater would help her even more.
It didn't.
In fact, when I examined Mirana after my meal, she was worse than before, not better. Her petals, though soft, were now a dull grey color and she wasn't giving off any light.
My best friend might be dying.
No.
I tried to shake off the evil thought.
Mirana couldn't die. She just couldn't. It wasn't possible. She was super powerful, hundreds of years old, a Moon Fae, and way too stubborn to fade away like a mere acolyte, so I did not need to worry. And worrying wouldn't help anyone anyway.
I needed to focus on Selemene instead. The goddess was the answer to all my and Mirana's problems and I had everything I needed to make Selemene a beautiful cave shrine so that she would feel my love and visit me soon.
I could just imagine Selemene's smile when she saw the shrine. I loved seeing my goddess take pleasure from me and my work. That was the sort of thing I needed to remember right now.
I got out my prayer knife and my ritual chalk. Then I began my project. As I worked, I kept my thoughts focused on building my shrine, Selemene, and how marvelous the Dark Moon could be for those who truly loved her. Before long, I had thrust myself into the memory of one particularly special Dark Moon night.
Many moons ago…
I nervously sat in a huge prayer circle led by Priestess Lina. She was shorter and much younger than the people who sat around her, but there was no doubt that she was in charge here. Priestess Lina glowed red-orange with Selemene's power and the priestess's hair looked like it was made of fire. It was beautiful and a bit scary, just like the rest of her.
Priestess Lina was amazing and so strong.
I wished I could be like that. I also wished that I hadn't listened to Priestess Luna and Mirana.
I could have avoided challenging people and defended my position like I usually did during evening competitions. If I had just done that, I would have been feasting at Priestess Luna's phase festival and listening to her holy crusade stories right now, instead of sitting through Priestess Lina's long prayer speech.
But Priestess Luna had sat me down a few nights ago and explained that competing for the love of Selemene was the right thing to do. Mirana had been saying the same thing for months.
Well, kind of.
Mirana said I needed to join a new phase because it was wrong for me to keep clinging to Priestess Luna at my age. The Moon Fae said that the priestess had better things to do on her short stays to the order.
I understood all that.
The problem was that I didn't have anything better to do. Priestess Luna and Mirana were the only two acolytes who seemed to like me. I had competed to make them and the goddess proud and now:
Priestess Luna was taking care of the Waxing Gibbous's Festival. Mirana was leading the Moon Fae in their Dark Moon ceremonies. And no one from my old phase had made it to Waning Crescent status. I was truly alone this festival.
At least, Priestess Lina was almost done. I tuned in to her latest prayer. She said,
"On this the last night of the Dark Moon,
Marvel in the glory of the goddess and her night sky
Selemene's full presence is here on earth tonight walking among us
We must always remember that we are part of her and she is part of us
Let us feast, dance, sing, and love, but do not forget all this is for her
Everything we do, everything we are, everything we will be is her
So do not fall to temptation and look for her tonight
But know that she is here within us all"
That was pretty and more importantly, it was over.
I was so ready to eat.
I dropped the hands of the people sitting beside me and started clapping. A few others did as well, but most people just stared at us.
Priestess Lina coughed.
Oh…
I had celebrated too soon.
Blushing hot red, I stopped clapping and went back to holding hands with my neighbors. My eyes dropped to my lap and I made sure to listen hard to the rest of Priestess Lina's speech. She talked about the activities and rules tonight like how everyone must participate in the group dances and that you could only do a partner dance with a person once. Then she ended her speech with another prayer that went on for a while.
And then we were free!
Thank Selemene.
I was up and running. I wanted to get away from my seat and to the feasting tables. The tables stood in a circle, separating the dancing area from the nightsilver trees. When I got to one of the tables, I grabbed two plates and started piling them high with sweet bread, apple and berry crumbles, buttery cookies, and honey cakes. Everyone knew that the Waning Crescent's Festival had the best dessert in the Dark Moon Order. That's why I chose to try and join this phase, instead of Priestess Aiushtha's. The deer lady priestess's prayers were super funny and random, but I had heard her phase's food was just as weird and not very good.
I didn't want to be lonely and stuck with bad food for the entire cycle. Here, at least, I could enjoy the good stuff. So that's what I did. I ate lots and lots and after I tried every type of pastry I could find, I started on the spiced lamb, nickel mead, violet greens and nuts, char-beef, purple carrots and potatoes, hot whiskey, raspberry-roasted chicken, buttered and jammed acorn bread, and crispy agate snappers with song peppers and plum onions!
The only thing that stopped me from eating dessert and dinner all night long was the group dances. Each time one came up, I had to leave the feasting tables to join. I danced along and mouthed the lyrics, but I didn't try to sing with everyone else.
Luckily, nobody asked me why. Nobody talked to me at all which was good.
Really good.
Who needed friends when you had good food?
The apple crumble here was definitely way better than most of the people in my old phase. I was more than ready to get another helping of it after the third group dance and had started crossing the dancing area to get to the right dessert table when someone said, "Hold on a minute," and grabbed my arm.
I turned and saw a skinny girl with short black hair, pale skin, and a playful smile that lit up her bright eyes. She looked friendly, but so did lots of people before they understood what was wrong with me.
"I would like to dance with you," she said.
Dance?
With me?
I glanced around. Was she talking to someone else?
But no one else was near us and she was looking at me.
She wanted an answer.
From me.
I did like to dance. I enjoyed doing it by myself and group dances weren't so bad, but I wasn't a good partner. Everyone in my old phase had known that and this girl would too if we tried. I didn't want to see her face when she figured out how bad and broken I was.
So, I couldn't say yes to her, but before I could remember how to say no, a new song began to play.
"Shall we?" the girl said, letting go of my arm and curtseying. It was a really pretty curtsey which made me feel worse about this whole thing, but I had no choice now. You couldn't leave the dancing area in the middle of a song. I had learned that the hard way a year ago.
She and I had to dance.
I did my best to nod and smile at my partner. Then I turned to fully face her and gave her a quick and probably dumb-looking curtsey.
"Don't be so nervous," the girl said, "I'll let you lead."
What! Why?
This girl was at least a year or two older than me and a head taller.
"You looked surprised," she said, reaching out for my hands, "but I saw one of your bouts today. I'm sure you can handle me."
I blushed and was too surprised by the compliment to stop her from moving my hands to the leader position for this song. I had learned how to lead during my dance lessons of course. Everyone was taught all the roles and positions in the Dark Moon Order, but I had never been asked to lead outside of my dance lessons before.
I was so small. People saw me and labeled me as a follower. And yet, tonight my left hand lay on a girl's hip, and said girl was smiling down at me. "Let's give them a show," she said with a wink.
It would be a show alright. I looked around us and listened to the music to try to catch the beat. Then I began to dance.
And…
It was fine?
Somehow, it really was.
This was so weird. Usually, when I danced with another person, it felt like we were fighting for control, but not now.
My partner tonight mirrored me better than a reflection. Her steps were smooth, graceful, and yet perfectly matched to mine. Even when I messed up and moved left too soon, she followed my lead without giving me a look or complaining. And when I added an extra twirl to the dance, she didn't resist.
She just spun and laughed!
I smiled. This was…
Fun!
The music picked up and I stopped holding back. I let the melody carry me away. I let it carry both of us.
When the dance called for a lift and toss, I didn't pause to think. I took my partner by the waist and threw her up in the air like all the others. Her cry of surprise became one of pure joy as she flew several feet higher than anyone else.
When I caught her, I grinned.
She grinned right back.
We were still grinning when the song ended.
"That was fun," she said, echoing my thoughts. Then she leaned forward and whispered, "Let's do this again sometime."
She gave my hand a squeeze.
And somehow the pressure reached my heart. It was still beating strangely after she had curtseyed and left.
My eyes watched her go. After I saw her grab another partner, my brain remembered how to think.
The dance was over. I was hungry and a bit thirsty. It was time for that apple crumble and maybe some nickel mead too.
I turned to the dessert table that had the apple crumble, but again I did not get far. This time I was stopped by a small group of girls and one super tall boy. Each of them asked if I would like to dance with them.
What was going on?
For some reason, my eyes found my old partner one more time. She met my gaze. Then she gave me that playful smile of hers and winked at me.
It was impossible, but I felt her squeezing my heart again.
I couldn't believe it. She had done this. She had helped me without me even asking her to. Suddenly, I wanted to push away all these new suitors, shove her new partner to the ground, and claim another dance with her.
But then a familiar voice drew me back.
"Marci, was it?"
I turned and saw that Priestess Lina with her fire-colored prayer scars burning bright had joined the small group around me.
"Dance with me," she said, holding out her hand.
I didn't even think of refusing. Saying no to Priestess Lina was like saying no to the goddess herself.
I just took Priestess Lina's hand.
She said, "I'll lead, so try to keep up."
I did try but Priestess Lina was a much better dancer than I was. Priestesses were brought to the order as babies. She had probably started practicing as soon as she could walk and it showed. Her dancing was fast, bold, and full of fancy footwork, and she managed all that while talking.
I have no idea what she said. The priestess's expert dancing was already too much for me and my two-and-a-half years of training. The only reason I didn't fall on my face was because Priestess Lina wouldn't let me. She was strong enough and quick enough to pull me back from each and every mistake. And there were many.
The dance was only a few minutes, but by the time it was over, I was hot, dizzy, and ready for a nap.
Meanwhile, Priestess Lina was fine. She curtseyed and said the words, "Thank you for the dance," but she looked unhappy. She was probably disappointed that I couldn't talk and hadn't danced well.
I wanted to say sorry, but she was gone before I could figure out how. The minute she left I was surrounded by even more people who wanted to dance with me.
I ended up dancing for most of the night with only a few food breaks after that. I had a good time, but that just made me want to find my first partner again. I knew I couldn't dance with her anymore tonight, but I wanted to thank her, figure out her name, and maybe if I was really lucky, she would offer to spend the end of the night with me. I felt like being with her would be as easy and as joyful as love in the name of the goddess was supposed to be.
I was so happy when the end of the festival came and I finally found my first partner again. I was able to grab a seat next to her during Priestess Lina's closing speech.
I took my first partner's hand and the hand of the guy next to me like I was supposed to, but then I gave my first partner's hand a special squeeze and smiled hopefully at her.
My favorite partner of the night gave me a look. Then she turned away without a word.
I didn't need words. I knew that look.
I wanted to leave the prayer circle, but I couldn't. So, I looked down at my lap.
More than one partner tonight had missed a step or given me that look when they saw what was wrong with me. The people in the Full Moon and the Waxing Gibbous phases had been even worse and then there was Father…
It had been dumb to get my hopes up after a single dance.
I was dumb. Nobody wanted to be with a mute girl.
As my eyes got hot and I struggled not to cry, the cheers and gasps from the prayer circle stopped Priestess Lina from talking.
There were only three people who would dare interrupt Priestess Lina. Priestess Rylai and Priestess Aiushtha would be busy leading their own Dark Moon festivals. That meant…
I lifted my head up and saw that the goddess had appeared in the center of our prayer circle.
I smiled, feeling better already because she was here!
Selemene!
Everyone claimed that the goddess looked a bit different to each of her followers and of course, she changed depending on the phase of the moon. This was only the second time I'd seen her during the Dark Moon. My eager eyes tried to take in every detail, hoping that this time I would be able to remember everything later.
But it was impossible.
It was just like my teachers said most mortal minds were not blessed enough to handle the task of truly seeing Selemene. What I mostly noticed tonight was how she shined. Since it was the Dark Moon, Selemene was fully on earth and brighter than the stars. I could feel her power as easily as I could see her light.
"This has been a marvelous Dark Moon Festival," the goddess of the moon, sky, and stars said grandly. "I am overjoyed to see so many new and old faces. One of you, of course, is truly special tonight and will accompany me back to my temple, but you are all my star children. Each and every one of you has the potential for greatness, so I cannot possibly leave without acknowledging a few of the sparks waiting to burn bright in this prayer circle. If we had the pleasure of dancing together tonight, it was because I saw how your love brought you closer to me and your true self this cycle…"
The goddess then began to talk to her favorite partners of the night. As she did so, she changed, first into a curvy redhead, and then a tall bald lady, then again, into a pretty blonde woman with freckles all over, and then she became a skinny girl with short black hair, pale skin, and a playful smile.
The goddess's bright eyes found me and she said, "Marci, a young woman whose actions speak louder than her words, you have finally decided to shine. I see you, my little comet, and I hope to have reason to dance with you again soon."
Then she blew me a kiss.
I felt my whole body catch on fire. Everyone was looking at me, but the only person who mattered was Selemene.
I couldn't breathe.
My perfect dance partner had been the goddess herself!
My body was still on fire even when Selemene picked her consort and finished her speech by asking the question she always asked, "Do you love me?"
As everyone else cried out their answer, I nodded and thought as loud as I could. The words filled my mind, body, and soul, feeling more pure and more true than ever before.
Yes, Selemene!
Yes!
I love you!
Memories of that Dark Moon night and many others danced around in my head while I work through the day and night to create my shrine. First, I carved a totem of the goddess from the log I found. I colored it using my ritual chalk and the pink berries. Then I surrounded her with trees that I made out of twigs and pieces of leaf. The mini forest was stuck to the cave wall with mud. And as a last touch, I took my ritual chalk and jumped around to decorate the cave ceiling with little chalk stars. Since the ritual chalk glowed in the dark, my goddess totem and the stars shined inside the cave. It was beautiful.
But it wasn't enough.
I ended the second night of the Dark Moon knowing that Selemene would have visited every person in this upcoming cycle's inner circle. Including her visits to the priestesses that should have happened the night before, the goddess had probably seen over 50 people this Dark Moon.
Over 50 people!
And yet she had not seen fit to visit me, her High Priestess.
I could scarcely believe it.
I had never heard of a priestess being treated this way, let alone a high priestess.
Tonight was to be the last night of the Dark Moon. Selemene would be dancing and singing along with the lesser members of the Dark Moon Order like she had done with me countless cycles ago. Back then before the goddess had acknowledged my priestesshood, I lived for the last night of the Dark Moon and my chance to have a few minutes alone with the love of my life and possibly even more time at the end of the night.
The anticipation of being with her had been the sweetest kind of agony then.
It was agony pure and simple now.
I felt the false god's presence as I was forced to get breakfast for myself yet again. Perhaps, he saw my vulnerability and that was why he was trying to beguile me with dry weather, sunshine, and easy hunting.
He should not have bothered.
I hated all of it. He had made it too bright and hot. My dry clothes felt stiff and I really wanted to hit something more than squirrels, but squirrels is what I found. So, I brutally murdered as many as I could and charred them up good.
Then I added another squirrel to the soup that I had started yesterday. That was when the Dragon Knight finally saw fit to do something more than be a big handsome doormat.
"Rosemary?" he rasped in a dazed voice.
I glanced at him.
His eyes looked gold in the firelight as he said, "You're glowing."
I scowled. The last thing I needed was for the pagan to start flirting with me.
"It's pretty," he added.
It's?
Oh.
He wasn't talking about my body. At least, not exactly. Davion had noticed my prayer scars which did indeed glow pink against my skin and were pretty thanks to my hard work. It wasn't easy to make the interlocking patterns of moons and swirling cloud shapes since I could rarely see them, but I made sure to remember the location of each and every scar. Selemene said I had one of the best designs in the order. Her adoration was most important of course, but I enjoyed the ever-evolving challenge of adding to the pattern in interesting ways for its own sake.
Leave it to Davion to say just the right thing to charm me despite being half-awake.
That fact and the compliment itself were almost enough to make me smile. Instead, I took the soup off the fire and offered it to the absurdly well-spoken Dragon Knight.
"No thanks," he said, shaking his head like a big sleepy cat. "Can I have a squirrel?"
Huh?
He must not understand what I was offering.
This soup would taste much better than my hastily cooked squirrels. I lowered the pot a bit so he could smell the soup. It had taken a lot of effort to make it good and it had taken even more effort not to eat it.
After getting a whiff of the delicious soup, Davion held a fist up to his mouth and turned a bit green before he managed to repeat the words, "No thanks."
No thanks?
No. Thanks!
Why was he acting like I was trying to poison him? Did he have any idea how long I'd been prepping this soup for him? Weren't sick people supposed to have soup? I did not understand how this big man could have such a small appetite!
"Please, Rosemary, take it away," he said. "I just want a squirrel."
I take it back. He was not charming at all!
I lifted the pot up and took a big gulp of the soup that had been taunting me all night. It was hot, but I didn't care because I liked food!
After I soothed my now burnt tongue, I reluctantly gave the pagan one of my stupid squirrels.
He ate it almost as fast as I would.
Well, good!
At least, he was actually hungry for once. I gave him another squirrel and another and one more. This had to be the most I'd seen Davion eat ever.
6 squirrels later, I had finished off my excellent soup and Davion was sitting up. It seemed that he was back to his old self which meant he was looking concerned and asking questions about everything.
I answered what I could which wasn't much. I had no idea where we were. I hadn't seen any creeps, let alone air dragons or Keen. I wasn't going to bend the rules for him today or any other day, so my Dark Moon rituals and practices were not up for discussion. And even with all his explanations and guesses for its cause, his illness still made no sense to me.
But what did I know about Turstarkurian fevers, Haseonese colds, and all the other stuff he started mumbling about?
I hadn't even gotten the soup thing right.
However, right before we were about to leave my failed shrine behind, Davion stood up and finally mentioned something that I could confidently discuss.
He said, "I guess I don't have to carry you anymore."
Guess again.
I shook my head vigorously. Then I reached up for him to pick me up in his arms.
Davion frowned down at me. "So, you do still need my help?" he asked.
I nodded.
"I don't get it. You had to have used your magic to go hunting, put up all these decorations, and…" He trailed off.
I was opening and closing my still outreached hands and glaring at him.
Hard.
"Alright," he conceded before turning and kneeling down for me to get on.
As I wrapped my arms around his neck and he wrapped his arms around my legs, he said "I don't see why you're mad at me though. I can't know how your magic works if you don't explain it, Rosemary."
Well…yes.
But still!
That wasn't the point!
I might have held on tighter to his neck than was necessary, but that wasn't why the Dragon Knight 'coughed'.
He could laugh at me and my secrecy all he wanted. He wasn't supposed to comprehend my 'magic' as he called it. That knowledge was meant for members of the Dark Moon Order only and I knew all I needed to know about it.
My precious prayer scars were better than magic. With me being too weak to use my Priestess-born gift of strength, my prayer scars had been our salvation.
Almost every human in the Dark Moon Order had a few prayer scars and as High Priestess, I collected many souls for the goddess. When I called upon my prayer scars, they granted me access to a small portion of Selemene's power. Through specific prayers, I could entreat the goddess to grant me things like my blessed voice or her strength and vitality.
Such grand blessings came with a cost though. Most mortals were only able to channel so much of Selemene's light before they were overwhelmed by it. Even as Selemene's High Priestess, I like to use her power sparingly. Just the effort of activating my prayer scars could leave me a bit tired afterward. And considering all I had done in the last few nights, I was going to need to rest for a very long while after I let my prayer scars dim.
If I didn't need to talk to Selemene tonight, I would not have risked keeping them active now that Davion was up and the shrine was done. However, I did need to talk to her. The mission, the order, Mirana, and my own soul depended on it, so all I could do was conserve energy by not calling on the goddess's divine strength again until tonight. I knew that a bit of rest now might save me a lot of time later. I just thought a bit of rest would end up being longer than a few hours, but I forgot how cursed my life was right now.
The sun had just begun setting when Davion jerked my hands waking me up from my nap. "Rosemary," he said frantically, "I…"
That was all he got out before he toppled forward, crashing to the ground like a chopped-down tree. For a few moments, I lay on top of him hoping that he would get up again.
He didn't.
I huffed out a breath.
Of course!
I gave the Dragon Knight a hard squeeze around the neck which earned me a low growl as opposed to something useful like movement or an explanation.
I waited another minute before I gave up. It was obvious that Davion was unconscious.
Again!
I checked the Dragon Knight for injuries. There were none. The only issue I could detect was his temperature. His skin was as chilly as the evening air.
The false god was truly the worst. I was so glad I never had to deal with being sick. This fever-cold thing was something else and I did not have the patience for it right now.
I disentangled myself and crawled off the sickly Dragon Knight. Then I prayed.
Selemene
Lend me your strength
My prayer scars flared bright and divine energy filled my empty vessel once more. It overcame all my pain and gave me the strength to stand. And so, I did.
I examined the clearing Davion had brought us to. The leave-covered incline looked out into the forest which seemed to go on forever.
It would do.
The last night of the Dark Moon was almost here and it seemed I was again responsible for finding food. I gathered wood, cleared a spot, and set things up for a cookfire. Since the stupid perfectly dry wood refused to light, I had to waste another one of Lina's hairs.
Then I went hunting to make a feast. I beamed some sort of gangly bear creature in the head with a rock. Then I pummeled it fully dead and dragged it to Davion and the fire.
I skinned the creature, seared the meat, and stuffed the result into my mouth.
Tree bear tasted awful but I didn't care. I didn't deserve a good meal.
The second I finished eating, I took off all my clothes and stood alone in the middle of the clearing. I told myself to ignore how weird it was to celebrate Selemene on a hill in a strange forest with strange company. A loyal Dark Moon Order acolyte should not concern themself with vanity or loneliness. I just had to focus on the goddess and my Dark Moon festival.
After the last two nights, Selemene had made herself clear.
I wasn't a high priestess to her.
I was a failure who was barely worthy of her light.
And yet, broken as I was, I still loved her. I was still hers and this was still the Dark Moon.
On this final night, she would hear me as she heard everyone in the Dark Moon Order. I would show her I was ready to face her fury and disappointment. I would give her everything I had. She could take it all.
Because her pleasure was all I needed in this life.
After summoning the blessed voice she gave me, I tilted my head up to look upon her domain and assumed the leader position. Then I threw myself into the Aria of the Forsworn. My body arced, twisted, leaped, and spun through the night air, dancing with the memory of a perfect partner who mirrored me better than a reflection.
All the while my lone voice beat away the silence. When it came time for the reframe, my prayer scars burned bright like stars as my blessed voice rose to a crescendo, trilling out the words loud enough for this entire cursed forest to hear,
"Goddess, I know I have wronged you
I do not deserve your mercy
So, give me your sorrow
Give me your wrath
I will take it gladly
My life is yours
I love you
Selemene
Please
See
Me
"
A/N:
Hi all,
So...where to begin. How about that flashback? Yes, both Lina and Luna are in the Dark Moon Order for this fic. There are already a lot of DOTA 2 heroes in Selemene's service. I added Lina in mostly because I have no Helio Imperium and I thought she would be perfect for what I planned. I hope you enjoyed seeing her. Marci is pretty moody this chapter what with Selemene ghosting her, but in the flashback, past Marci is definitely going through some issues which we will probably explore later. I should note that 'dumb' is considered a derogatory word these days and in the body of this work. This is actually part of the reason Marci got upset by Davion's flirting in chapter 4. Our girl did not appreciate being called dumbstruck.
As the fic officially makes its new home in the mature section, I want to say a few things. I am not a huge fan of gore. I enjoy being able to use swear words. Davion seems like the type to use them. Also, I've never written a sex scene...I am still undecided about how I want to handle them, but I don't even really read explicit stuff, so I doubt I will go into detail. The main reason this fic is now in the mature section is because this story might get dark sometimes and the Dark Moon Order in the fic...is full of too many concepts that just aren't safe for work. I'll be sure to try to put up trigger warnings on my chapters if applicable.
Onto less serious topics, thank you to my writing buddies. You guys are the best! BarrissOffee99 helped me make the Dark Moon Order's menu and ErrantTalisman let me borrow the concept of Davion's gold eyes. March4fun is my rock so a big thanks to him for being my sounding board as well. And thank you all for reading and reviewing. If you'd like to make my day, answer me this:
Do you...think Selemene is going to answer Marci's call?
Well that's it I think. With November and NaNoWriMo around the corner, I probably won't get another chapter out until winter. I hope this long chapter will be enough to hold you over. I'll talk to you all later.
Bye!
