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This chapter will be a little Moiraine and Lan fluff, since they really need a moment to relax finally.


Lan agreed with Nynaeve that Moiraine and he needed a bath before they would go to bed. In Fal Dara, men and women used the same bath. So, Lan worked on the fire to warm up the water, while Moiraine was simply watching him tiredly.

When Moiraine had visited the Borderlands for the first time, she had been shocked when she had realized that women and men used the same bath. Lan remembered that he had tried to explain it to her, but no matter what he had said, she had refused to take a bath. After three days, she had begged him to leave the Borderlands, so he had agreed, but then a Trolloc army had attacked Fal Dara, and they had helped to fight against the Shadowspawn.

Of course, they had won, but they were all covered in dirt and blood. Moiraine, who had used the One Power a lot, had been too exhausted to argue with Lan when he had told her to use the bath. Or maybe her tired mind had forgotten about the traditions of the Borderlands.

Anyway, she had taken off her clothes in front of Lan, which had been the first time he had seen his Aes Sedai naked. When Lan had joined her, she had finally realized her mistake.

Lan smiled when he remembered how she had tried to leave the bathtub, while he had tried to talk her down. It had been Lady Amalisa, who had stopped Moiraine by joining them. The Warder didn't think that Moiraine had ever been as embarrassed as she had been on that day. Her face had blushed like a tomato when her eyes had fallen on Lady Amalisa, who had approached the bathtub wearing nothing but her skin. As a Cairhien woman, she hadn't been used to this lifestyle. Lan had been proud of her when she had stayed in the bathtub and had started a conversation with Lady Amalisa.

In the end, Moiraine had needed like five more visits to the Borderlands to accept their mixed bathing lifestyle. Though it took her years to be comfortable being naked around Lan.

When the water was warm enough to use it, Lan helped Moiraine with her clothes before he took off his own. Moiraine groaned when the warmth slowly warmed up her exhausted body.

Even Lan noticed, how his muscles started to relax. It had been such a long time since they had enjoyed a good bath together. The last time had been in the Two Rivers when Egwene's mother had prepared it for them, though the poor woman had assumed that it would only be for Moiraine.

The Warder opened his eyes and looked at his Aes Sedai, who moved her hands slowly through the water. As if she wanted to warm it with the One Power.

The last time, she had channeled the water hot, for him. The last time, their bond hadn't been masked. The last time, she had been his strong Aes Sedai.

Carefully, he grabbed her arms, then he moved his hands down until he was holding her hands in his. Her fingers were covered in dirt and blood. Lan saw that she had small cuts on her fingers and hands, which he hadn't noticed when he had found her at the Eye of the World.

"How did that happen?"

Moiraine shrugged her shoulders. "Somewhere in the Blight. We tried to be quick, not careful."

"And your fingers had to pay the prize from what I see."

"You're just pissed because you weren't there." As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Moiraine regretted them. Lan's grip on her hands tightened for a moment, and she saw how the muscles in his chin worked, while he tried to suppress his anger – and probably a well-deserved lecture for leaving him behind. His eyes were locked on her hands, avoiding her gaze.

Regretfully, Moiraine freed her hands from his grip and moved closer to him. She sat down on his thighs, while her hands moved up and down his neck. "I'm sorry, Lan. I… you have every right to be pissed at me."

The woman of the Blue Ajah laid her forehead against his and noticed that he had closed his eyes. This way, she couldn't see what he was feeling, and without the bond, it was impossible for her to find out how much she had hurt him. He was also not reacting to her. His body was stiff, and he didn't try to touch her. Light, he was really pissed.

And obviously didn't want her to be close. Moiraine sighed, then she tried to stand up.

"Why?"

Surprised, the Aes Sedai stopped and looked at her Warder. She had assumed that he was too angry with her to talk to her. "Why what?"

"Why did you leave me here?" He had opened his eyes again, and she saw the pain and reproach in them. This wasn't something he would forget soon.

"I wanted to save your life. The prophecy…"

"We both knew about the prophecy. We both knew that we could die at the Eye of the World and we both had accepted our fate."

"Well, I hadn't accepted that you would die there. From the moment I knew about the prophecy, I had searched for a solution to save your life." A cough stopped her explanation. Apparently, Nynaeve had been right. She shouldn't talk that much.

Lan's eyes flashed with anger when he heard her words. He didn't like that she had made plans for a while now without telling him. "Have I done anything, which would make you believe that I don't stand behind you?"

"No."

"Have I done anything, which would suggest that I wouldn't follow you?"

Moiraine sighed and rubbed her hand over her tired face. What had she started? "This is not why I…"

"Answer the damn question, Moiraine!"

Another heavy sigh. "No, you haven't done anything."

"Have I done anything, which would make you doubt my loyalty toward you?"

"I would never doubt your loyalty!" Now, she was getting angry as well. Her decision had nothing to do with her not trusting him. How could he actually believe that? Another cough shook her body before she could say more.

"Then stop making plans for my safety. We are in this together. I knew what could await me when I accepted your bond all those years ago. And I don't plan to leave midway." His face softened, then he rubbed soothing circles on her back to help her with her breathing. "Do you hear me?"

Moiraine needed a moment before she was able to speak again. Her throat was on fire, and she didn't want to fight against Lan anymore. "Yes, I hear you."

Light, her voice sounded exhausted. She should skip the bath and go straight to bed. But when she tried to stand up, Lan pulled her back down. His arms moved around her back and pulled her close against his chest, so Moiraine had to put her arms around his neck.

Softly, Lan pressed his lips on her shoulder, slowly moving toward the scar, where the Trolloc blade had pierced her skin. "You are not alone, Moiraine."

Tears built up in her eyes, and she started to tremble, but no word came over her lips. Instead, she hugged him tighter, while he kept rubbing soothing circles on her back.

They stayed like this for a few minutes until Moiraine had calmed herself again. Then she gently pushed Lan away, who loosened his grip a little to give her some room.

"I think I've had enough for today. I will go to bed."

Lan took a strand of her brown locks between his fingers and showed it to her. It looked terrible. Full of dirt and lots of knots in it. "Are you sure you want to go to bed like this?"

The Aes Sedai grabbed the strand with a disgusting look on her face. "I didn't realize it is that bad. But I'm too tired to do something about it." She leaned forward and kissed Lan's cheek. "Good night, Lan."

But the Warder had something else in mind. When she tried to stand up again, his hands on her hips held her under water. Questioningly, Moiraine tilted her head aside. "What?"

"May I?"

"What do you wanna do?"

"May I wash your hair?"

Surprised, Moiraine furrowed her forehead. He wanted to wash her hair? He had never before asked her to help her with that. "You don't have to do that."

"I would like to do it. May I?"

The Aes Sedai hesitated. It wasn't that she didn't think he couldn't do it, but she didn't deserve it. Not after what she had done to him. In fact, she was thankful that he was still by her side. "Don't you think that you've done more than enough by now? You saved me from the Myrddrals, and the Trollocs, and the worms."

"Don't forget the rotten roots, who tried to kill you.", Lan joked smiling, which made her smile as well.

Waterdrops moved over her head when Lan raised his hands and stroked her hair. "This is what I do. I protect you from any danger coming your way. And sometimes I would like to do something for you. Even if it is something as small as washing your hair."

When Moiraine still hesitated about his proposal, Lan decided to try his luck. His left arm moved around her back to steady her, while he placed his right hand on the back of her head. Then he leaned forward, giving her enough time to stop him, while he lowered her slowly until her head was in the water.

Moiraine closed her eyes, enjoying Lan's soft touch when he tried to wet all of her hair. It felt good and she didn't want him to stop.

The Warder noticed it too and smiled when he saw how his Aes Sedai started to relax under his touch. But then his eyes landed on her throat, which was exposed to him with her head tilted back. Her skin had turned bluish.

He almost growled when he remembered another one of his failures. Lately, they were happening too often. He had been too occupied by the Myrddral, so he hadn't noticed that Moiraine had been in danger. When he had seen the roots around her throat, holding her motionless body in place, he had feared that he would have been too late.

Moiraine shivered when she felt Lan's lips on her throat, pressing kisses as light as a feather on her skin. She couldn't feel him anymore, and still, she knew that he was torturing himself. Cursing himself for letting her get hurt.

"Lan." Luckily, it was all he needed to snap out of it. After all, he had promised to wash her hair.

Lan was surprised at how calming it was to wash Moiraine's hair. When he had offered to do it, he had needed a distraction from the chaos inside of him and a reason for her to stay with him.

Since their bond was masked, he had this strong urge to keep her close to him. A part of him was scared that she could get hurt if he would take his eyes off her. Foolish, but it was there.

But washing Moiraine's hair to get the dirt out of it and brushing it until it was free of knots, gave him a calmness he hadn't expected.

In the end, his Aes Sedai even allowed him to wash the rest of her body as well. It seemed that it was as relaxing to her as it was for him. The only problem was that she was exhausted, and Lan's gentle treatment didn't help her to stay awake. When he was finally done with her, she was almost asleep.

So, the Warder washed himself quickly before he helped her out of the bathtub and wrapped her in a towel. While he put on his clothes again, she needed to sit down because she was even too tired to stand. When he was done, he grabbed her clothes and placed them in her lap before he picked her up bridal style and carried her back to her room.

On his way back, Moiraine fell asleep and he didn't dare to wake her. She had been awake far too long. Putting the nightgown on her was tricky, but he made it. After he pulled the blanket over her, Lan stood beside her bed, watching the sleeping woman.

For the first time, since she had told him that she couldn't unmask their bond, he had a moment to himself. A moment to process what this meant to him. He couldn't feel her anymore. His head… it was as if something was missing. She had been a part of him for the last twenty years. And he had always assumed that she would be in his head forever until the day he would die.

But now, it was a strange feeling. Moiraine had masked their bond a few times in the past, and Lan had hated every single moment of it. Without her, he wasn't complete. She belonged to him as he belonged to her. She was the other half of his soul.

Before he had met her, he hadn't understood those men, who had agreed to be an errand boy for the Aes Sedai. Following them wherever they went, doing whatever they said, protecting them with their own life. He had called them fools. And then he had met Moiraine. Slowly, this stubborn and brave woman had found a way into his heart. She had driven him crazy and at the same time, she had changed his mind. He became her Warder and suddenly, he had realized that he had been the fool.

With every day that had passed, his body and soul got used to her. Once, he had thought about what his life would look like if he would ask Moiraine to release him. If he could do it, or if he would be constantly missing her.

Now, that their bond was masked, and the possibility was there that she would never channel again – which meant that she would never be able to unmask their bond – it made him sick.

Although his mind was telling him to leave the room – a part of him was still angry with her, about the decision she had made for both of them without telling him – his body couldn't do it. He was pulled toward her. She looked so small in this big bed, and right now, he just wanted to join her. Wanted to hold her in his arms. Assuring his body and soul that she was still alive, still with him.

"Lan." Restless, Moiraine turned her head from one side to the other, furrowing her forehead. Without the One Power, she wasn't able to protect her dreams anymore. What was she dreaming about?

Lan sighed heavily, then he undressed himself, only leaving his undergarment on. One word. She had said one word, but that was all that he had needed. Even without the bond, even in her dreams, he was on her mind.

The Warder moved under the blanket until he lay beside her. When he placed his arm protectively over her stomach, she turned her head to his side. She released a relieved sigh and the furrow on her forehead disappeared. As if she would feel his presence. As if she would know that she was safe now. Safe in Lan's arms.

Softly, Lan kissed her forehead, then he laid his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. This time, he would ensure that she would be there when he would wake up in the morning.


The next chapter will be uploaded on next Sunday (23.10.2022) since I'm on vacation next week.

Have a great week :D

And reviews are always appreciated 3