Everything simply stopped.
The rushing cars were now frozen, the busy schedules of their drivers unmoving. The playful kids stopped in the middle of their games, their joyful faces a static image in the world. The flying insects and their cries were no more, their movements stopped as if they had been caught in a web.
And in such a situation Nagisa found herself. Trapped in a web she knew she couldn't escape. Time stopped, two familiars behind her, and the devil itself in front of her. The devil did a final flap of her wings, letting her feet touch the ground with a soft thump.
"Don't make this harder for yourself" said the devil, Nagisa could see the tired eyes the girl carried with her. Such visage did not calm her, instead it made her wonder what kind of premature decision the devil would take in her condition. "It's easier if you don't fight back"
Nagisa's mind went racing. She tried to think of every single possibility. Tried to find a way out of the situation. But sadly, the only thing that even had a small chance of succeeding was fighting back; and by small it was basically zero. So instead, the next closest opportunity of survival was the one she took.
"I- I don't want to go back" Nagisa stuttered, this at least seemed to win her a second of time as the devil stopped to think about her words.
"Don't worry" the devil finally spoke, her voice seemed gentle; but it was the same kind of gentle the doctors used to use when talking about her mother, a fake reassurance "I will take you back to Tomoe Mami. Or do you perhaps not enjoy her company?"
"I do!" exclaimed Nagisa out of instinct.
"Then what is the probl-"
"I meant the Law of Cycles!"
The devil stopped completely. Her expression became a frown for a few seconds before she finally spoke up again, her calm voice didn't show the same expression as her slightly confused face.
"What are you trying to say?" she finally asked. This was it. Her words had intrigued the devil, she could use this in her favor.
"I don't really like the Law of Cycles!" Nagisa tried to put on her most trusting voice. She knew from what the Law of Cycles had told her in preparation for their now failed mission that the girl was one prone to mistrusting others. Whatever she did she needed to seem as truthful as she could. "I really, really, prefer this world over hers"
The devil hesitated for a second, but her face turned into a cold expression once again.
"You really expect me to believe that?" the devil kept taking steps forward "You are just like Miki Sayaka, you will try to make Madoka go back there the moment you can-"
"I won't! I promise!" said Nagisa, the stress from the situation had started to form tears in the corners of her eyes. "I've remembered for some days now, and I haven't done anything! I really prefer this world!"
The devil simply stared at Nagisa. And even though Nagisa didn't really know the girl, she could see a thousand different thoughts going through her mind at the moment. She still had one last card left, one that Sayaka had told her about before going into the first labyrinth the girl had made. She took a deep breath and prepared herself, if she said something wrong talking about this, it would only make the situation worse.
"I can help you with Madoka!" Nagisa shouted, and she could even feel the two familiars behind her flinch at the mention of the name.
"…What do you mean?" asked the devil, her inquisitive eyes pierced Nagisa to very core of her body.
"You want to get together with her, right?" Nagisa started to hype herself up, trying to sound more convincing "I can help with that! I know a lot about her from holding her memories before-"
"I don't want to get together with her" corrected Homura "I just want her to be happy. And I don't need whatever memories you remember held to do that"
Homura took the last steps towards Nagisa. The girl could easily feel her imposing presence, and she was sure that the old Nagisa that didn't last for a week as a magical girl would have collapsed here. But she was different, she had the knowledge of many lifetimes; and the courage that came with it.
"I will help you make her happy then!" Nagisa kept shouting in hope of her words getting through the devil.
"Stop resisting, it's harder to modify the memory of those I don't know much about." She raised a hand towards Nagisa, who cowered to try and get away from her; even if just a few centimeters.
"I will help you make sure she doesn't remember!"
Nagisa started crying out promises, she really didn't want to forget. Not remembering could mean she could make a mistake. Making a mistake that could make Homura actually angry at her. And if she could make people forget that they are magical girls, she was sure she could make everyone forget about Nagisa and kill her without anyone noticing. She had already experienced death before, and she really wasn't looking forwards to the new death that awaited her in a world where the previous warm death was no more.
"I will help you fight against the others!"
The hand was now nothing more than a few centimeters away from her head. No, this wasn't even about making a mistake in the future, was it? Not remembering hurt her more than she had realized. The constant feeling of something missing. A small void that was filled with nothing but static.
The static that started the day she met Kyouko at that convenience store. Random memories of her time in Homura's labyrinth coming back and forth, only to dissipate in confused feelings. Little by little the feelings leaving her questioning her own memories. Whether the dreams were true or not, whether the things she thought she had done just a few days ago were truth or part of her quasi forgotten dreams.
"Please! I will help you… I promise" Nagisa had now started to cry, she could hear the static coming from the devil's hand. A devouring presence that promised to end her sanity "I promise… please don't make me forget… I don't want to hear the static again"
The devil's hand flinched, and she slowly pulled away from Nagisa's head. Nagisa slowly looked up, meeting eyes with the now frowning face of the devil.
"What is this static you are talking about" her voice was demanding, yet Nagisa could hear worry in it too.
Nagisa took a moment to swallow, trying to calm herself down to properly answer the devil.
"I… I sometimes got fractions of my past lives" Nagisa did a small pause as she took a deep breath "They came and went, but every time I remembered… Every time I remembered something about the Law of Cycles, I could feel my mind going numb a cloud of static over my memories"
"When did you start remembering" it wasn't a question, but a full on demand. The slight worry of the girl had evolved into a slight hyperventilation.
"It was when I met Kyouko… But they never stayed, only vague feelings were left behind" Nagisa tried to get up, but her legs still failed her "I didn't remember anything at all. I just felt my mind slipping away more and more until… Until when Sayaka awakening made me remember everything"
There was only silence coming from the devil. The girl seemed more a teenager now than the omnipotent being that she sold herself as.
"Things I remembered felt like lies. I wasn't sure if my memories were real or just things that I had dreamt up…" finally said Nagisa, only a weak voice coming from her. "I felt like I was slowly going mad…"
The devil's eyes were completely open, a tint of realization seemingly coming over her. She turned around, and her devil outfit vanished to reveal some day to day clothes. Time resumed with her hair flowing behind her, as the girl tucked it to the side.
Nagisa looked at the devil, her ebony hair flowing behind her. It all felt like a dream. But she was alive. She still remembered everything.
"You… you are going to let me go?"
The devil stopped walking. A breeze caught up and sent her hair dancing, the girl turning around with the wind. A cold look on her eyes, but there was something deep withing them that Nagisa didn't notice; a deep worry that was eating away at the girl.
"You said you would help me; I'm taking you up on that offer."
And with that Homura vanished from her view, only a few raven feathers were left behind where she had been standing. Nagisa walked over to the bench she had sat on before, and picked up the block of cheese she had bought. She slowly calmed herself, though the presence of the two familiars was still making her a bit nervous. When she thought she had finally calmed, tears of relief started to fall from her eyes.
The colorless sands of Hell welcomed Homura. Her feet touched the unmoving dunes, and the girl found herself walking towards the orb of grief that floated in the middle of everything.
There was no pond. There was not a single droplet of grief in the ground. The orb of grief itself had lost most of its color, the incubators that powered the process could be easily seen inside the orb. The few amounts of grief that fell quickly dried up in the air before ever touching the colorless sands, not as many problems as usual it would seem.
Yet Homura could feel as if the entire universe was giving her their grief directly.
Homura slowly let herself fall backwards, a chair quickly appearing behind her to pick her up. And with a swift motion she took her earring, quickly converting it into her dark orb. The color of her own grief swirled inside it hurriedly, the usually purple color being replaced by a pantheon of colors unknown to humans. A fractured version of herself swam inside the gem, rejoicing in her grief once again.
She had modified her own memories in the past. She had done so to protect Madoka, as she always did. But then she noticed something along the way. One of the reasons as to why Homura had become a witch in the first place.
Her memories had been modified to the point of being a mess without a sense. She wasn't able to differentiate between dreams, between memories, between her own lies. During the last few weeks that she had still been a magical girl her life had gone into a spiral of despair. Her memories seemed nothing more than lies she had told herself. Madoka an imaginary friend she had imagined. All the moments they had shared nothing more than a dream she had one night. Every time she saw thought about the girl the static appeared. Every time she had time to think the searing pain filled her brain. Fighting had been the only thing that could take her away from the static, and even then she knew she was trying to make a mistake in battle for it all to end. She knew that after the battles the static would come back, she knew that the moment that silence filled her ears the broken memories of times that she didn't know were real or not would fill her mind.
The only thing that ever anchored her to reality had been the red ribbons Madoka had gifted her. The only proof that her memories were real and not something she had made up.
And if what Nagisa had told her was true. Then it meant that the static wasn't her mind finally giving up, but rather a side effect of her memory manipulation. That it could happen to everyone that had been meddled with by her magic.
It meant that the same pain she had felt would eventually befall Madoka. That as long as Madoka didn't remember, the pain would come for her every day. That every day Madoka would have to deal with the static, slowly being driven mad by it. A sense of being incomplete would fill her mind, and she would either remember… or break on the process.
It didn't matter how many good times Madoka had. It didn't matter how busy she became. Eventually the night would come, and her mind would be filled again with the static.
But then, for Madoka to not suffer that fate it would mean she would have to recover her memories. If Madoka recovered her memories she was sure to go away. She was sure to go back to the Law of Cycles. And with the impeding knowledge that Madoka would end up going away, one way or the other…
Homura simply stopped caring. No more would she try to get away from her. No more would she contain herself just so 'the Law of Cycles' wouldn't come back. There was no point to it after what Nagisa had told her, Madoka would end up remembering anyways. There was no possible way for Homura to finally finish her mission, for her to finally save the one she loved.
"In the end…" Homura said, her voice a tired one "It doesn't matter what I do, I can't save you"
Homura got up from the chair and started walking away from the center of her dimension. She started to trail off into the distance, the white dunes forming a path for her to take.
"Why…"
Every step that Homura was taking became harder and harder to take. Her feet almost dragging as she finished climbing the top of the dune, in front of her a mountain of white sand that made her feel insignificant in comparison.
"Why does it always have to be like this…"
Homura's legs gave out, the girl falling to her knees as a stream of tears started to flow from her amethyst eyes. The white sands started to move in front of her, slowly taking away parts of the mountain as it revealed parts of a stone statue.
"Why do you always have to go…" Homura's voice was nothing more than a wail at this point, the girl clutching her head with enough strength for her to break her own skull "Why do I always have to be left behind… please… Madoka…"
The sand slowly finished to move out of the way of the gargantuan statue, the form of Madoka in her Law of Cycles attire being revealed. Various cracks had been formed throughout the stonework, and dark stains could be seen throughout its grey stone. Half of the face was missing, huge crack going right through the middle of her face.
"I don't want to know that you are suffering alone" pleaded Homura. "I don't want to lose you again, please"
"You are my everything Madoka…" Homura's voice was nothing more than a whisper, a cry that wanted to be heard but was scared of doing so "Just let me save you… please"
"Here you go Homura-chan" said Madoka as she handed the cream colored lunch box to Homura.
"Thank you" Homura gave a simple nod of appreciation, a small smile accompanying it.
The first one of the day, thought Madoka. Homura seemed to be feeling down since this morning, or rather, it felt like she was feeling like she had during the first days after Madoka had transferred in.
"Eating Madoka's food everyday like that" started to complain Sayaka as the girl opened her own lunch box, a simple ration of rice accompanied by some curry from what seemed like the day before. "You sure are lucky Akemi-san"
"I don't think it's that much…" awkwardly laughed Madoka, her lunches weren't something to be too happy about. Although she had been improving every day, she still didn't get nowhere close to the level of her father.
Homura finished eating the food she had taken, and slowly opened her eyes as she turned towards Sayaka to answer.
"You are right, I am lucky" said Homura, though her words were gentle her tone was more like the distant one she usually used. "I hope you are not trying to get Madoka to do the same for you, Miki Sayaka"
"Haaaah? Why not?" Sayaka leaned over the bench, now getting a direct view of Homura. The bluenette's face looked a bit annoyed by the comment "I've been her friend for longer than you, I should be the one telling you that"
"You would just increase Madoka's work" Homura slowly raised a piece of the octopus-shaped sausage and placed into her mouth.
"Well, then" said Sayaka, now a smug expression on her face "In that case, I will be the one getting the lunches instead! Now Madoka won't have to work more"
As Sayaka's words left her mouth Homura's eyes opened and gave the girl a side glance that, if looks could kill, would have made the bluenette instantly drop dead. Yet Homura didn't say anything, instead the girl slowly chewed the food and tried to get as much of the flavor as possible. Madoka had always thought this was just how Homura ate, but after eating with her at the sushi place she learnt she only took this much time to savor the food with her cooking. The thought made Madoka feel a bit proud.
"I won't…" started to say Homura, but then seemed to stop to think for a second as she looked at Madoka. The pinkette tilted her head in curiosity. "I cannot decide that. If Madoka decided to make food for you instead… I won't be able to complain"
"I will never do that!" suddenly exclaimed Madoka. Homura's eyes had been as stone cold as always. But the ways she had paused to correct herself, the way her eyes didn't show any energy, how her cold mask was on. She was lying. "I promised I will make lunch for you, Homura-chan. I won't change that, don't worry"
"Madoka…" were the only words that came from Homura. The girl took a second to steel herself once more, but when she reopened her eyes, a small genuine smile was on her face.
"Wow, okay" said Sayaka, the girl looking a bit surprised by the sudden shout of Madoka "That was like, the worst rejection I've ever gotten"
"It was quite harsh yeah" added Kyouko from afar, the girl was lying down on one of the benches.
"Coming from Madoka too" added Sayaka "That hurt more than expected"
Madoka started to look between Homura and Sayaka, confused at what to do. On one side, Sayaka, her best friend, had just been hurt by her words; though it could be the girl joking it could be the truth. On the other side though, Homura, the girl she loved, wore a genuine smile after Madoka had made a declaration of loyalty. Of course, her kind heart wanted her to reassure her best friend. But her love filled mind just wanted to use this opportunity to maybe try to get closer to Homura. The porcelain like hands of the girl were quite close to hers after all, who wouldn't take this opportunity?
I'm going to regret this, aren't I?
"It's not like that Sayaka!" Madoka turned towards the bluenette, her mind imagined Homura's smile fading away. "But I promised Homura-chan I would make her lunch… if… if you want, I can also make yours"
Sayaka looked at Madoka for a few seconds before letting out a sigh.
"Thank you Madoka" said Sayaka, the bluenette letting out a small chuckle with her words "You don't have to, really; I was just messing with Akemi"
"Eh?" stuttered Madoka.
So she had taken the wrong option. When she started to turn around to look at Homura once again, a faint hope hung in her mind… Though it was quickly shattered as the girl in question had gone back to eating the boxed lunch with her usual calm expression on. Madoka let out a long, sad, sigh; the whole body of the girl slopped, making her look smaller than she used to, a defeated look in her eyes.
The sound of a metal door opening made Madoka look back up, a pair of golden drills going through the door with hurried steps.
"Sorry for being late!" said Mami, the senior was trying to catch her breath as she walked towards the group and sat next to Sayaka.
"Tomoe-senpai! Nice to see you!" exclaimed Sayaka, waving to the blonde girl with her chopsticks. Kyouko on the other side simply raised her hand in acknowledgement, not getting up from her sleeping position.
"What held you up?" asked Sayaka as she moved her schoolbag out of the way of Mami's seat.
"I had to finish a test" Mami sighed, though she quickly regained her usual dependable image and a proud smile "I still have two more today though"
"Man, being a third year must be hard huh" said Sayaka as she started to eat her lunch curry.
"It could be worse" Mami started to get out her own lunch box, a neatly packed orange box. The food inside looked like it had been cooked with care, clearly trying to make a balanced diet out of a few ingredients. "At least I don't have to worry about entrance exams… yet"
"agh…" complained Kyouko, now sitting up on the bench "Don't make me remember those. I had to make one to get in here like… a few months ago"
"Yeah!" laughed Sayaka "You had to have seen her studying during those days. She got angry at the books every ten minutes."
"I'm just saying!" started to yell Kyouko "Why tell me how to do something if you are going to tell me a better way of doing the same thing in the next page?!"
"Some methods are better in certain cases" quickly added Homura, though the girl didn't seem to want to explain more and quickly went back to eating her lunch.
"Yeah, maybe for you" Kyouko glared at Homura "But it just makes me forget both of them"
Homura shrugged at the redhead, now words came from her but her expression clearly stated "That sounds like a you problem". Madoka had to look at Kyouko with an 'I'm sorry' smile, she knew Homura could be quite… hard to work with. And Kyouko was one to quickly get angry too, that didn't help.
Mami let out a small chuckle, clearly trying to change the flow of the conversation, and spoke up again.
"Nagisa also has some tests this week, so I've been helping her study" Mami sighed "The girl is smart so it isn't that hard, but it's still more work"
"Oh" suddenly said Sayaka "Talking about Nagisa, we saw her yesterday"
"Ah right" said Kyouko as she moved her gaze from Homura to Mami "The kid was buying some cheese"
Mami sighed, her expression seemed to change from her usual one to a more worried expression.
"Yes, I sent her to buy it since I had to study…" she made a small pause "But really, she took to long. I started getting worried and had to go find her"
"Wait, is the brat okay?" asked Kyouko, a bit of worry on her face started showing up. And at this point Madoka was also starting to worry, though she preferred to wait for Mami to explain things.
"I found her in a park" Mami looked up at Kyouko, a calming smile on her face "She said she had been playing with some friends and lost the sense of time"
"Got to keep an eye on her" said Sayaka a big grin appearing on her face "Maybe she had been wondering if you would notice if she ate half the block of cheese right there and then"
"Who knows" giggled Mami "She never came late when I sent her on an errand before, so I was a bit worried. Thankfully it was nothing in the end"
With that everyone went back to their food. The minutes passed, and nothing more than a few laughs for some jokes that Sayaka shared were heard. A few minutes before the bell rang, as they all started to pack their lunch boxes up, Mami turned to the rest of the girls who were still getting ready and spoke up.
"I was thinking…" she made a small pause. The girl fidgeted a bit with her skirt, though it was almost unnoticeable "Would everyone want to come back to my house? I've been working on a peach cake recipe lately"
"Ah…" said Sayaka "I can't today, sorry. Gotta pick up my dad at the station"
"Oh… I see" said Mami, now turning towards Madoka who had just started to open her mouth to speak.
"We are going back to club activities this week, so it would have to be a bit later…"
"Gotta work after helping with Sayaka's old man, sorry" said Kyouko, the girl holding her schoolbag over her shoulder.
Mami lastly looked at Homura, Madoka could see the last blow already coming.
"I joined Madoka's club." Homura made a small pause, seeing that Mami still didn't take that as an answer she talked once more "No"
Mami looked defeat for a split second, though she quickly hid it behind her usual smile. Seeing this, Madoka tried to add something.
"It's just today though!" Madoka looked at the rest "I'm sure we can get one day that works for everyone!"
"Ye-yeah!" said Sayaka, trying to hype her voice as much as possible "I only have something to do today after all!"
"I'll try and see if I can change my shift with someone else" said Kyouko a bit of a grin on her face.
Mami lastly looked at Homura, who simply stood there with a questioning expression. The ebony girl stopped looking at Mami and her eyes went to Madoka, a look of 'Are we going back to class or not?' on her face. This made Madoka a bit, just a bit, angry at the girl, she knew Homura wasn't good with people, but she probably had read the mood pretty well and had simply decided not to say anything. Madoka glared at Homura, the first time she had done so.
"Homura-chan" said Madoka, an angry smile on her face. She loved the girl, yes, but at the same time she really hoped the girl would try to be a bit more open with the rest. Even saying 'no' again would be enough for Madoka, she didn't want to force her to go after all. But her not giving an answer was reminding her about how she always said 'anything is fine' and Homura not saying anything quickly became personal. Maybe she shouldn't have done this, but at the time it was the best thing Madoka could think of.
Homura seemed confused for a second, a bit of worry appearing in her eyes. Madoka quickly pointed at Mami with her eyes, and this seemed to make Homura understand what she meant. Homura turned towards Mami.
"I can't-" Homura stopped to look at Madoka for a second, the pinkette still glaring at her "…I will try to see if I can"
"Everyone, thanks" said Mami, her face now having an honest smile "Just tell me when, and I'll make sure to have the best cake I can bake prepared!"
Current date: Monday 19th of May.
A/N:
Hey everyone, sorry for the long wait for such a short chapter. My chair backrest broke a few days ago and I haven't been able to sit on it for longer than 30 minutes without my back hurting. I've been able to get a second hand office chair from a friend relatively cheap, but I'm not going to be able to pick it up until Wednesday.
Saying this because it probably will mean that the next chapter will be this Friday, sorry for the inconvenience.
