Ryan wasn't one to believe in ghosts coming back for vengeance. He could, however, believe in himself being overconfident and jumping the gun, as much as he despised doing so.
He let out a nervous laugh. "Yeah…nice try, Lucy. But that werewolf mask looks soooo fake-"
One Eye lunged and clamped his jaws on Ryan's backpack, shaking the boy left and right like a ragdoll. Marceline screeched, jumped, and dug her claws into the wooden ceiling.
Ryan slipped out of the straps and fell forward. Rolling onto his back, he kicked One Eye in the face but the second time, his foot got caught in the wolf's jaws.
Yelping, he yanked it free a millisecond before the shoe got crushed and he stumbled backward, as One Eye barked and trashed around, unable to squeeze his whole body through the hatch.
Ryan tripped over the bed and fell on it, just as One Eye craned his neck and grabbed one of the legs, pulling the bed towards him.
Thinking fast, Ryan rolled off it and pushed the bed up as a shield, pressing it against the attacking wolf.
"How did you get here, you death-defying cur!" Ryan ranted incredulously as he threw himself onto the bed, using his weight to force One Eye down, but the latter pushed himself back up, throwing the bed over his head, along with Ryan.
One Eye snarled and scanned the room, unable to spot his target, who was right behind him, with only the bed as a barrier between them. Feeling it on his back, One Eye tried to look over his shoulder, while Ryan used his blind spot to quietly push himself along the wall.
With a low growl, One Eye paused and snapped around with lightning speed, barely missed biting a chunk out of Ryan's waist as the boy jumped forward and crawled along the floor.
"Come on, come on, where is it!" he desperately searched for the gun in the darkness while hearing the floorboards cracking as One Eye hauled himself up by clawing the floor.
Ryan managed to grab it just as the floorboards broke and One Eye lunged at him, jaws wide open, only to get shot between the eyes.
Squealing in pain, the wolf halted and shook his head wildly, as Ryan ran, slid between his legs, and jumped down the hatch. Tucking his legs, he rolled forward and scrambled onto his feet, before bolting for the front door, which he now had to barricade with everything he had. He pulled the handle, only to slam into the door. Jerking back and shaking his aching head, he twisted the handle but to no avail.
"Oh, go to hell, Renee." He blurted while looking around and running off. He knew he had ten seconds max before his attacker realized those were rubber bullets.
One Eye leaped through one of the windows, snarling from the pain on his forehead, as he scoped the surroundings and quickly picked up Ryan's scent. As his gaze fell on the open garage, the wolf grew a vicious grin. It was cornered!
Unable to find the freaking remote, Ryan scrambled to find some kind of weapon while hiding behind a stacked shelf. There were no cars for him to hide under since neither mom nor dad used their own garage much for parking. The assholes couldn't even do that for him. With his face covered in beads of sweat, Ryan finally spotted what he was looking for… on the other side of the garage, and soon heard a footfall which ensured him that he had no time to spare.
"Okay, wild animals are smart enough to be vengeful, fake their death, and find out where you live. Clearly, mankind's worldview is very wrong." Ryan thought while winding up a clock. "I'll process those world-shattering implications some other time."
He heard claws scrapping against the floor and soon found himself face-to-face with One Eye. If Ryan had any doubts about the beast's sentience, they were squashed as the wolf flashed him a toothy, wicked grin.
"Aww…shit, looks like my time ran out?" Ryan said in defeat. "Catch, boy!"
One Eye caught the foreign object with his jaws, only for it to start ringing, making his good eye bulge out and his whole body shake.
Ryan bolted past him as One Eye spat the clock out before hearing a loud, buzzing sound.
With his canine reflexes, he jumped back, barely avoiding getting slashed by spinning blades. He saw Ryan laughing maniacally and wielding a weedwhacker.
"I'll get my pelt yet!" he exclaimed and swung it at the wolf repeatedly. "Even if I have to stitch it back together!"
Snarling, One Eye tried lunging at him only to barely dodge the spinning blades again, which grazed his nose and drew blood.
Barring his teeth, One Eye jumped away and Ryan followed, leaping onto a stack of boxes and cornering the wolf against a wall.
"Guess you're all huff and puff after all!" he laughed as he raised the weedwhacker. He didn't live this long to be taken out by an overgrown pooch!
But One Eye hardly looked scared and rammed his body against the stack, causing it to topple over and Ryan was flung forward.
He held on to his weapon as it scrapped against the floor, creating sparks, and swung it around just as the wolf charged at him.
One Eye leaped over him, dodging the blades once more, and as Ryan tried getting up, One Eye grabbed hold of the shaft.
"Oh, no you don't! Bad dog! Spit it out!" Ryan grunted and clung to it as his feet were dragged across the floor and then the lawn, struggling with the snarling beast.
Twisting the shaft with his jaws, One Eye swung him in circles until Ryan finally lost his grip and was launched through the hole in the fence, and sent tumbling across the street.
One Eye threw the still buzzing weedwhacker at the tree and Marceline screeched and ducked as the spinning blades flew right over her, cutting through a branch.
Groaning in pain, Ryan rolled to his side and tried to get up only to get his head slammed against the hard concrete, claws digging into his scalp.
He was familiar with this. A universal move someone who really, really hated your guts and wanted you to suffer would use to assert their power.
Snarling, One Eye's maw hovered over him, and his head was pressed harder against the street. What a stroke of luck.
"Good, good. Just keep stalling, sucker." Ryan thought as he dug into his pocket.
Both suddenly heard a screech, and a yellow blur landed on One Eye's face, digging her claws and teeth into his injured eye. The wolf squealed in pain and flailed his head around, releasing Ryan.
"That a girl, Marcy!" he cheered, wielding his trusty pocket knife.
Marceline knew she'd regret this, for she couldn't hold on for long, and was thrown against the fence with immense force.
"Yoo-hoo!" One Eye turned to his adversary, only to get slashed across the face.
Grinning wildly, Ryan saw his chance! While the wolf shook his head, he tried going for the jugular but ended up stabbing the beast's shoulder instead.
"Damn!" Ryan ranted as he was forced to grab the wolf's neck to evade his snapping jaws. Unable to see the boy with his damaged eye, One Eye spun around blindly, allowing Ryan to throw one leg over his back and mount him, grabbing the handle of his knife and twisting it.
One Eye growled in pain but quickly adjusted to it and clenched his fangs. The runt's death throes were getting aggravatingly long! He started running and kicking, doing everything he could to throw the boy off.
"Yee-ha! Faster, lil'doggy!" Ryan laughed mockingly before the wolf slammed him against the tree, making it shake, but Ryan wouldn't let go still.
Lyle was sleeping on the tree, shaking with it. But it failed to wake him up.
"Try harder!" Ryan quipped as he pulled the knife out and held it between his teeth, tasting fresh blood, as he was taken on a joy ride through the neighborhood. He was holding the wolf by the ear, or rather neck. Ryan's only option was to go for the throat, but why did his throat have to be so close to his teeth?
It wasn't long until One Eye started throwing himself on his back but Ryan wrapped his arms around his neck and took the pummeling. Again. And again.
"Ya ain't trihin'!" he boasted through clenched teeth, despite being dusty and battered, as the ride continued onto the highway, the wind beating against his face.
This was getting him nowhere. Out of options, Ryan freed one hand and covered the wolf's good eye. He continued running blindly until he collided with a stop sign, knocking it over and flinging Ryan forward. Anticipating it, Ryan rolled into a ball, and after some tumbling managed to regain his footing.
Seeing nothing but an unlit gas station and lots of pine trees, he made a mad dash toward the nearest one and climbed it. A futile gesture, as he didn't get far before hearing an enraged snarl and seeing a black mass hurling toward him with wide-open jaws. Ryan let go and hit the concrete as One Eye sunk his teeth into the bark.
Ryan swiftly grabbed his tail, getting hoisted off the ground as One Eye tried to grab him, only to end up chasing his own tail. Despite everything, Ryan couldn't help but snicker.
"Come on!" he taunted the wolf as he was swung around in circles, barely dodging his biting jaws. "You're too old for this shit!"
One Eye stopped and bucked, kicking Ryan off the road and into a tightly packed groove of birch trees. Seeing a viable escape, Ryan threw himself over a leaning trunk, followed closely by One Eye, who got stuck between the trees and tried to force his way through.
Ryan was never more grateful for being small as he squeezed his way through the cluster of trunks and ran forwards, only to realize that he was heading deeper into One Eye's turf, but he couldn't turn around now, as he heard crashing vegetation behind him and kept running deeper into the birch forest.
High above, Raza soared and saw the kid running through the woods and One Eye not far behind, but the latter's view was obscured by trees. Cackling to himself, the vulture swooped down just above Ryan and screeched loudly.
"Damn snitch…" Ryan grumbled between pants. If he lived through this, he'd use the blasted buzzard for pillow stuffing!
He could do nothing but continue running, having no idea how far away the wolf was, looking for some tree he could climb but they were all thin as twigs and smooth. He heard various noises, as the forest animals fled. He saw crows and owls flying out of trees and to his left, he caught a glimpse of a herd of deer vanishing into the forest.
As he looked to his right, to his horror, he saw One Eye running parallel to him, getting closer. The wolf's snapping jaws consumed his view when the ground beneath him gave way, and he found himself tumbling down s rocky hill, unable to keep hold of his knife. Leaping out of the woods, One Eye chased after him.
Rolling down the hill and getting scrapped and battered on the loose stones, Ryan heard roaring water before toppling over the cliff but he grabbed onto some rocks to stop himself from falling. Clinging onto the cliffside, he managed to gain some footing and saw the whitewater rapids some 40 feet below, as his knife flew past him and made a small splash.
"Just great…" he muttered before spotting two thick, moss-covered logs lodged between the gorge, with several smaller ones below them, and on the other side, there was an overhang leading into a cave. If only he could reach it.
He tried pulling himself closer when he was faced with snapping jaws again. Ryan tucked his head and saw One Eye looming over him, craning his neck down and visibly furious that his prey was out of reach while trying to keep his own footing on the loose rocks.
"Hate to leave ya hangin', but I gotta go!" Ryan quipped nervously and made a leap of faith.
Luckily, he managed to grab onto the lowest log, making the makeshift bridge shake a bit.
"Steady now…" he tried to calm himself, with his legs dangling above the roaring rapids. He had to pull himself up somehow but the logs were slippery.
But once more, he found One Eye standing above him, as the latter walked onto the bridge, trying to keep his footing by digging his claws into it.
It occurred to Ryan that the cur didn't want to knock him off, he wanted to pull him up. So he could have the pleasure of finishing him off, Ryan grimly realized.
"Not if I can help it…" Ryan blew a raspberry. He managed to pull himself up on the log, barely avoiding getting caught.
Growling, One Eye wedged his head between the two larger logs, trying to reach Ryan. The boy pressed himself down and One Eye reached out with his paw, scratching Ryan's cheek.
Hissing, Ryan clutched his face and scooted to his right, when he saw the wolf's tail dangling, which sparked an idea. A crazy, risky one, but it was the only option he had.
He jumped and grabbed it, the sudden weight making One Eye lose his footing. Yelping, he dug his claws into the log as his body was pulled down, back legs trashing.
Below him, Ryan was hanging by his tail, his face bleeding, watching the rapids below him and gulping. He wasn't eager to go for a late-night swim and he had only one shot at avoiding it.
"This has been fun…" he said as he climbed up the wolf, clutching his fur. "…but I have a curfew."
One Eye was losing his grip as Ryan stepped over his head and spread his arms out to balance himself as he tried to reach the overhang. Finally, this crazy night would be over!
"Hasta la…" Ryan stopped as he felt his shirt tugging and realized it was snagged in the wolf's jaws.
"Oh, fuck you-" the boy managed to say before screaming as he was dragged off the log and started plummeting.
Marceline arrived just in time to see One Eye hit the water back first, before Ryan slammed into him and they both disappeared below the rapids.
The cat yowled in fear while Ryan's cap wafted across the gorge, with silence returning to the forest.
Morning came and the Louds' ride had arrived right on schedule, parking in the driveway. One-third of the family dreaded it, one-third was uncertain and one-third was positively ecstatic about it.
Surprisingly, there was only the chauffeur who came out and greeted Lynn Sr. and Rita, no Kathleen in sight. That was cold comfort for Luan as she watched her family getting into the limo from her bedroom window and muttered under her breath. Her hair wasn't tied up in a ponytail and it was rather messy, complementing the bags under her eyes. She didn't get a wink of sleep last night, knowing what was in store for her the next morning.
"Sigh. You should at least pack some extra clothes." A more-downbeat-than-usual Lucy advised her as she closed her own suitcase. The goth had followed her own advice and only packed an additional black dress with striped arm sleeves and knee socks, along with two of her favorite vampire novels.
"I've packed everything I need. This stupid trip isn't worth it." Luan retorted in a surly tone, with her suitcase only containing a bunch of random comedy props like juggling clubs and a rubber chicken.
"You might need to change."
"Where I'm gonna stay, there ain't no point in trying to stay clean." Luan folded her arms. "Even if it rains or hails, I'm gonna keep protesting and not step one foot in that vile building."
"Are you sure you can handle…eh, roughing it?" Lucy asked for the umpteenth time. She had serious doubts that Luan could deal with such accommodations for more than a day… if even that.
"If Ryan can do it, so can I." Luan insisted before giggling slightly at the thought of being alone with him in the woods, maybe even sharing an all-natural hut. It wasn't ideal accommodations but it sure was romantic, the only bright spot in this miserable predicament.
Her response didn't go unnoticed by another brunette who was hesitant to go.
"Yeah, as if you're gonna last five minutes without your funny shows or indoor cooling." Lynn deadpanned, standing at the doorway and holding a small suitcase of her own.
"Girls, let's not fight now." A tired Lincoln intervened as the sisters glared at each other. His burns were better but he too didn't sleep much either, as he had too much on his mind.
"I'm not starting trouble. I'm trying to talk sense into this doofus." Lynn retorted curtly before turning back to Luan. "You want Kathleen to go down, right?"
"Of course I do!" Luan said, with Lucy having briefed her on the others' plans, as vague and uncertain as they were.
"Then just keep your pie hole shut and let us deal with her." Lynn continued. "Which includes Ryan. We need all the help we can get to catch Kathy slipping up and revealing her true colors, and you'll just slow him down."
Luan frowned as Lynn turned around and went down the stairs.
"Don't listen to her." Lucy tried to assure her. "You're part of this too."
"Lynn does have a point though." Lincoln admitted. "Luan, it's better if you try to avoid Kathleen as much as possible."
"Sigh. She's probably going to come and pester us again."
"Exactly. She knows how to push your buttons, Lynn's too." Lincoln continued. "So if you want to help, you need to keep a cool head."
"I can keep a cool head." Luan insisted peevishly. "Everyone and their grandma knows that Lynn's the hothead!"
"Not when Kathleen's around." Lincoln said matter-of-factly. "She knows it, and she'll no doubt try to make you look bad again. Lynn already made up her mind to avoid her as much as possible."
"Kids, come on. We gotta go." They heard their father's downbeat voice.
"Yippee! Sunny beaches, here we come!" Leni cheered as she rushed through the hall, dressed in a Hawaiian dress, sunglasses, and a beach hat, carrying two large suitcases in each hand and a hiking backpack, followed by a surly Lori, dressed the same but carrying zilch.
Lincoln eyed the eldest Loud, knowing this would be an awkward ride with her, Lynn, Luan, and their mother in the same limo.
"Let's go." He told his sisters and they reluctantly followed, Luan feeling sick to her stomach. She would rather have spent the week with her orthodontist.
Outside, they found their mother and father overseeing the boarding of the limo, to make sure nobody was left behind, or intentionally tried to give them the slip.
Luna and Lola had come first, both in quite an upbeat mood. Albert was groggy and didn't look all too thrilled but he didn't say anything. Lana and Lisa followed, both looking uncertain. The latter looked quite tired and disheveled, but neither parent noticed. They were used to seeing her sleep-deprived, with messy hair and unpressed clothes, especially when she got caught up with one of her inventions. The rest of the siblings came out.
"Let's just make the best of this, okay?" Rita said to her oldest daughter with a sour look, but Lori just scoffed and refused to meet her mother's eyes.
"Oh, I'm sure it's gonna be more than best!" Leni squeaked. Lincoln, Lucy, and Luan followed them. Luan didn't look at her mother either and entered the limo, with the latter watching her warily.
"…seven…eight….nine?" Lynn Sr., who looked like he'd been hitting the booze last night, counted them. "Wait, where's, LJ?"
"Ughhh…" Rita massaged her temples. This was already off to a bad start.
"Don't worry, mom. I'll go get her." Lincoln quickly assured her. "I'll be back in a minute."
Charles and Cliff had been watching the whole event from the porch and exchanged confused looks. Was the family moving? If they did, better than staying here with One Eye skulking around, the dog and cat figured.
Lynn Sr. whistled for them. "Come on, guys."
The two happily boarded the limo, while inside, Lincoln found his remaining sister in the kitchen, holding her walkie-talkie.
"C'mon, what's taking that numbskull so long?" she complained as her call wasn't picked up.
Of course, back in the trashed treehouse, the ringing walkie-talkie was lying motionlessly on the floor, which was covered in claw marks.
"Lynn, everyone's waiting for you." Lincoln approached her.
"In a minute." She said curtly. "I have to make sure Ryan's on his way-hey!"
Lincoln took it from her. "We don't have time for it, mom's not in a patient mood."
Hearing that, Lynn grimaced and looked down while her brother put his hand on her shoulder.
"Don't worry, he'll be there. He's probably just taking a shower or something."
Lynn snorted humorlessly. "I doubt that. His stank is his pride."
But she knew Ryan always kept his word, she just hoped that he would arrive quickly. Being stuck with all her sisters and Kathleen in the middle of nowhere would surely drive her off the deep end.
The ride was a rather uneventful one, as the Louds were driven out of town (fortunately not in the way Rita feared they would be someday) and soon reached Muskegon, on the shores of Lake Michigan, leaving only an additional 12-mile drive up north. Lincoln, Lynn, and Lucy remained quiet and pensive while watching the rural landscape from the window.
"And remember, we have a good thing going on here." Rita told her kids for the fourth time. "So all of you need to be on your best behavior, which, among other things, means-"
"We KNOW, mom. We ain't deaf!" An annoyed Lori retorted, folding her arms. "Broken record much?"
Rita glared at her, before sarcastically adding. "Thanks for reminding me, sweetie. Any keys will be handed over to your father and me. Just to avoid any needless grievances."
That did it for Lori. "For the last time, I did not lock grandpa in his room!"
"And yet you were the only one with a motive?" Rita humored her. "And we found the key in your drawer."
"It's okay, Rita." Albert tried to defuse the tension. "She was just acting out, it's all water under the bridge-"
"I wasn't acting out!" Lori lamented. "Cuz I literally did nothing!"
Growing visibly nervous, Lola felt the need to interject.
"Yeah, right?" she scoffed. "I'm sure you were framed, Lori. A magic leprechaun must have put the key in your drawer, right?"
"Shut your trap, you trashy little twerp!"
"Trashy?" Lola sneered. "Look who's talking! Take a look at your dress."
"Uhhh….dem fighting words." Luan quipped bitterly, resting on her palm.
"Enough." Rita said firmly. "The point is, if any of you cause trouble, you'll spend all week grounded in your room. And I don't care if the house isn't ours, you will still follow the rules."
Lincoln and Lynn watched the argument, while Charles and Cliff joined them in window gazing.
They rarely got out of their neighborhood and were enthralled by the unfamiliar landscape, with Charles wagging his tail. That is, until the countryside gave way to pine forest, without a trace of human settlement. Wolf country!
Cliff shrank fearfully while Charles whimpered before barking in alarm, but his warning fell on deaf ears as Lincoln spoke.
"Girls, can't we try to get along, or at least tolerate one another?"
"Linc's right. Why do you have to spoil our vacation by being spiteful just for the heck of it?" Luna shrugged, though she wasn't opposed to the two catty idiots maiming each other and getting locked up for the remainder of the week. It was a win-win in her book.
"Spoil? If it weren't for me, we wouldn't be having this vacation." Lola boasted. "It was my anniversary gift to mom and dad."
But nobody seemed to care about that fact, least of all the parents, leaving only silence.
Lori snapped her head up. Luna did have a point, why should she spoil her vacation by trying to talk sense into her mother, who was obviously out to get her? Not like she was longing for some mother-daughter bonding, yuck! Only little kids and pimply losers with no social life did that!
"Fine, whatever. I won't be causing any trouble." she gave in before smirking slyly. "I don't wish to be a burden."
Lynn felt her blood boil and saw Lori eyeing her for a second. She trembled in her seat before feeling Lincoln holding her arm.
She shut her eyes tight and counted to ten. She couldn't fly off the handle, not now. She wouldn't do it again.
"I'm good…I'm good." She assured her brother and held her hand up before exhaling.
The stealth insult flew over Rita's head, who thought Lori was just being spiteful and hyperbolic again.
"You better." She warned her. "It's your hedonism that's at stake here."
"Oh, so I'm a hedonist, am I!" Lori was soon at it again.
"Lori?" Leni scratched her head. "I didn't know you were into religion?"
"Look everyone!" Lynn Sr. suddenly pointed out the window, earning everyone's attention. "I…I just saw a blue jay, aren't they pretty?"
Rita and most of the sisters gave him unamused looks, making him sweat nervously.
"What? I thought playing "spot the bird" might be a more…productive way of killing time?" he tucked his head into his collar.
Lincoln saw that he was trying to defuse tension, which reminded him that he should try to talk to his dad soon, to get him back in the saddle after being savagely torn down last night. At least his dad was still trying. That's when he saw a large sign spelling "Bristlecone Woods".
"Not a bad idea." Albert agreed, seeing what his son-in-law was trying to do. "I did lots of bird-watching in my day."
"Except in your day, they called it pterodactyl-watching." Lori snorted, earning unamused looks from her mother and grandfather.
"Hey, look!" Lincoln spoke up again. "We're here."
The others gazed through the window and saw the shores of the great lake, surrounded by lush forest and a tall mountain in the distance. They saw a few people kayaking on the clear blue water or fishing from rowboats. And on the shore was a two-story house that made any home in their neighborhood look like a dilapidated hut, and next to it was a pier with a sailboat and a smaller speedboat anchored next to it.
The family was at a loss for words, except for Lynn, who deadpanned, "Wow, she really is slumming it out here."
As the limo parked in the driveway, the chauffeur unloaded the cargo, insisting that it was his duty to carry it into the house, while the family marveled at the building. Most of them anyway.
Lynn, Luan, Lucy, and Lincoln stood separated from the rest, the former three sporting bitter frowns, the latter a nervous look, knowing that the luxury could cause his sisters to relapse into their old habits.
Lynn cleared her throat, making Lana snap out of her daze and join her.
"Um…doesn't look too bad." The tomboy wilted sheepishly.
"And that's the problem…" Lynn muttered.
"You chose the loser side, Lana!" Lola taunted her twin.
"Better that than the dark side, powderpuff!" Lana shot back angrily.
"I have to consent." Lisa approached Lincoln's group, her awe having worn off. "It does look rather immoderate for a summer home intended to give people a break from the commodities of civilization."
"I'll say." Albert joined them. "In my day, we would only take a tent, a fishing rod, and the clothes on our backs and make do with that."
"OMG, this is gonna be the best vacation ever!" Lori clapped her hands, completely forgetting her quarrel with her mother.
"I know." Leni squeaked in agreement. "We should totes check out the beach first!"
"Not a bad idea, Einstein." Lori concurred. "We just need sunscreen and some parasols and towels."
"You'll find parasols in the garage, ma'am. The rest is in the bathrooms." The chauffeur said as he passed them, carrying their heavy luggage.
"Don't get ahead of yourself." Rita stepped in, earning a dirty glare from Lori. "First we unpack and sort out the living arrangements."
"Fine with me, I want to check this place out first anyway." Luna shrugged.
"I'm not taking one step in there, and you can't make me!" Luan put her foot down. "I'm camping outside."
Her announcement drew instant snickers from Lori, Luna, and Lola, while Rita rolled her eyes.
"Wow, Luan? Are you sure about that?" Lynn Sr. asked, hoping she was joking. "It can get pretty rough out there."
"I don't care! You all can be sellouts if you want to but I have my dignity to maintain." With a huff, she turned around and walked off.
"Sure, just don't forget to come back for supper, kay?" Rita said dismissively, earning a concerned look from her husband.
"Honey? Are you sure-"
"Relax." Rita replied without a shred of doubt. "She'll be back as soon as she steps on a thorn or-"
"Why, hello there lil' guy?" Luan met a walking fluffball and leaned down to pet it. "Aren't you just the cutest thing?"
"Luan, no!" Lincoln tried to warn her. "That's a-"
"YOOOOWWW!?" the family winced and a terrified Cliff jumped into Lincoln's arms as a tearful Luan held her paralyzed hand up, filled with quills.
"…porcupine?" Lincoln finished while the big rodent chattered angrily at Luan, with its quills bristling out of its long fur, and waddled back into the woods.
Lori, Luna, and the twins all erupted with laughter, while Lynn had to hold Charles back from pursuing the porcupine.
"Easy, boy. That's one fight you can't win."
"Way to go! You're a true outdoorsman, Luan!" Lori mocked the comedian. "You've discovered nature's acupuncture!"
"Wow, how does it feel, Luan?" an intrigued Leni approached her. "Relaxing, right?"
"Mom, dad? I can't feel my hand…" Luan wept while her fingers curled in random directions. "I think they hit a nerve?"
Rita facepalmed before turning to her husband. "Lynn? Find a pair of pliers… and some disinfectant."
"On it." Lynn Sr. nodded squeamishly.
Oh, no! Did Ryan die? Of course not XD Whoever died in fiction by falling into water? You should watch more television. And no points for guessing in which direction the river will take him and One Eye XD
