.

Loyalty and Limerence

Part 2

Chapter 14

(Content warning: It contains mentions of human trafficking and abuse, slightly more than last chapter but still not very graphic.)


The Citadel

They sat in silence, Garrus in the front and the other two in back, and it was a few minutes before Jane let go of a weary sigh.

"I went back to the Reds after you enlisted." Jane broke the silence reluctantly, causing Shepard to sigh as well.

"That much was obvious. But why? Before I left, I made sure you had a good home, a roof over your head, three square meals-"

"I never lived with that foster family." The words hung heavily, making the air in the car feel heavy and hard to breathe.

"Why?" Shepard asked, an edge to his voice, "Why did you leave? And why did you lie to me about it? I was under the impression that you were happy and doing well. Jesus, Jane, we exchanged emails regularly, how did I have no idea…?"

"John, if I had stayed in that house any longer than I did, someone was going to end up getting hurt. I made damn sure it wasn't going to be me." She cut in sharply, making it clear that there was no room for argument.

"What do you mean?" Shepard asked hesitantly and Garrus shifted, wishing he could see their faces as they sat silently for a moment. "Did they try to hurt you?"

"Yeah." She replied hoarsely, and Garrus felt his hands tighten on the controls, anger on her behalf swelling up in him.

He could vividly remember her retelling of the story back when they'd just become friends on the original Normandy. He'd always assumed, from her almost flippant, distracted attitude, that the ordeal hadn't weighed much on her, but the raw emotion in that short answer said otherwise.

"I got out before he could do more than try to touch me. But I had nowhere else to go, so I went back to the Reds. They were all I knew besides the streets."

"Why didn't you tell me? Or Anderson? Or someone at the foster agency?" John demanded, his own anger evident in his voice.

"Because you were finally able to get away from them and off the streets, and if I'd said anything, you would have left the Alliance to 'come save me', and I didn't want you to do that. Running with the Reds was so hard for you, and you deserved better." The steel was back in her voice, and when John tried to argue, she cut in over him, "Look. I don't want to argue about this with you, John, not over something that happened over ten years ago." Garrus imagined they must be sharing a heated staring contest, but Shepard finally relented.

"Fine, we can talk about it later." He snapped and Jane scoffed, but didn't argue. "So you left the foster house, lied to me about it, and stayed with the Reds…" Shepard trailed off before continuing, his voice quiet, "Jane, we both know what they used girls that age for, what Beria used those girls for. Did they-"

"No." Jane spat, disgust in her voice, "No, I had other skills they wanted, I had other ways of making myself useful."

"That was the impression I got from Finch earlier. It sounded like they had you…"

"Yeah."

"Why were you okay with that? I made it clear while I was with them that neither of us were going to be involved in anything that serious."

"Yeah, well, you were intimidating even at 16. I don't know how you managed to get so big even when we were half starved most of our childhood. Me, on the other hand, I was a small, skinny girl that no one took seriously until I beat them up. I had the uncanny ability to get into places I wasn't supposed to be without being seen. It was either make myself useful with a gun or make myself useful with my body, and it was an easy choice, even back then." The clipped tone to her voice brooked no argument, and they returned to silence. It dragged on for so long that Garrus almost decided to cut in until Shepard finally replied.

"Jane, I'm so, so sorry you had to make that choice. I never should have enlisted without you, I should have waited until you were 18, too. I should have stayed with you, kept you safe, stopped them from-"

"John." She snapped, and Garrus could imagine the fire in her eyes, "I didn't need you to protect me, I did a perfectly fine job all on my own. I'm here, aren't I? I'm not ashamed of what I had to do to survive, I'd make those choices all over again if I had to. I've put it all behind me, and you need to, too."

"I-"

"No, I'm done talking about this right now." Jane growled, but after a minute of tense silence, she took a deep breath and continued with a softer voice, "It's okay. Seriously, John. You don't have to apologize. I'm so proud of you and everything you've accomplished with the Alliance. Knowing you were out there kicking ass gave me so much hope, it's what got me through those two years. Please don't apologize." Garrus chanced a glance back at them to see Jane place her hand on the seat between them, palm opened in a silent request. Shepard stared at her before looking down and slowly taking her hand, giving it a squeeze.

"Okay." Shepard sighed as though releasing a great weight, "I understand. Thank you for telling me about all of this, Jane. I had no idea, but it explains a lot." She snorted at that, chuckling grimmly.

"Yeah, well, there's more to tell, so buckle up. But I think we're almost there, so it'll have to wait for later."


Their 'fight', if it could be called that, through the Red's base of operations was over almost before it began. They were certainly armed, but hardly trained or prepared. They were exactly what Garrus had suspected: a small-time gang looking to expand but completely unprepared for the realities of the galaxy.

"I alerted C-Sec to this location before we entered, they should be here anytime." Jane stated as she strode through the hallways, stopping only occasionally to peer into rooms. "Ah ha." She murmured as they turned a corner and encountered a series of locked doors. Checking that they were all ready, Jane pulled up her omni-tool and ran a hack to unlock the doors, dropping her weapon as soon as she registered the huddled women inside.

"Spirits…" Garrus murmured as he took in the cramped, stained cots and mattresses, and the dirty and bedraggled girls clutching each other, their hair lank and their eyes shadowed and haunted. More than one winced or cowered as Jane took a step into the room.

"You're safe now. C-Sec are on their way and they'll take you out of here, get you somewhere safe and help you. Just sit tight, you're going to be alright." She stated calmly and evenly as she glanced around the room, her face drawn and pinched with restrained anger. It was the same in the following two rooms.

"My god." Shepard growled as they left the final room of scared girls, shaking his head in shocked disbelief. Garrus grunted his own disgust, shaking his head.

"I saw plenty of similar cases during raids we conducted when I was with C-Sec. Poor girls get tricked into believing they were being brought to the Citadel to start a better life, end up being trafficked into the sex slave trade instead. Plenty also end up here after being snatched up during batarian raids on outer colonies. Disgusting, but not unique by any means."

"I'm guessing the room up ahead in the main office. Get ready." Jane said as they neared the final door. She palmed it open to reveal a small but surprisingly well furnished room. Taking up most of the room was a large desk strewn with datapads, a console open with pictures of scantily clad women of various species.

Behind the desk stood a man, gun in one hand, his other raised one of his earpieces as he spoke frantically into his com. Each of their weapons was trained upon him in an instant, before he could even register them.

"Don't move." Jane barked as she took a deliberate step forward, and he froze before he could raise his handgun. "Put the weapon down, hands where I can see them."

"Janie Shepard?" The man asked incredulously as he carefully dropped the weapon and put his hands in the air slowly, his face bordering confusion. "What happened to Finch?" Something seemed to dawn on him and his expression slowly morphed into something caught between fear and rage. "What the fuck are you-"

The shot rang out through the small space, the crack echoing down the hall. Blood sprayed and the man crumpled like a rag doll, a bloody hole drilled neatly between his eyes. Garrus was vividly reminded of the first time he'd met Jane just after she'd shot the man sent to harass Doctor Michelle during their hunt for Saren.

They stood stock still, and Garrus almost felt as though if he moved, it would break some sort of spell. After a moment, Jane took a deep breath in, then let her arm fall to her side as she exhaled slowly and holstered her weapon.

"Jane," Shepard exhaled sharply, and Garrus turned to see him level his sister with a stern look. "You didn't need to kill him." Jane whipped around, her eyes shining with cold fire.

"It wasn't your choice to make. He didn't torment you or make years of your life a living hell, at least not like he did mine." She snapped, and Shepard immediately seemed to wilt, guilt flashing in the set of his shoulders.

"Then how is this-" He gestured to the dead body laying on the floor, blank eyes staring in shock, "-any different than the situation with Sidonis?" Garrus blinked as the name shot through him, an unexpected blow to an injury still raw.

"This was nothing like that." Jane turned away from them, the shorter locks of hair that framed her face slightly obscuring her expression. She turned to glance back at Shepard, who raised a single eyebrow at her, then scoffed and looked away again, "It was only a little bit like that. Beria was a piece of trash and I did everyone a favor by taking him out. He wasn't going to turn over a new leaf, he wasn't going to do anything meaningful with his life, and the world is better off without him."

Jane turned around to face them fully, her face a mask of fury. "Those girls are better off without him." She jabbed her finger in the direction of the rooms they'd just left. "I lived in a flat with a bunch of his girls until I ran away and joined the Alliance. You made sure I knew how to defend myself, and so I got away with little more than a black eye most of the time. Eventually they all learned not to fuck with me. But you should have seen what he and his men did to them on a regular basis." She snarled as her eyes narrowed. "You won't make me feel bad for what I did. He can't hurt any more girls where he's gone."

"Fine, point taken." Shepard relented, holding his hands up in submission, "It might not be how I would have handled it, but we can debate ethics later." Jane opened her mouth to retort, but Garrus stepped forward to place a hand of her arm in what he hoped was a soothing gesture. She froze, and as their eyes locked, she seemed to hold her breath.

"It's okay." Garrus murmured quietly as he noticed how tense she was, "It's over, he's gone. Like you said, he can't hurt you or anyone else ever again." Some of the fire seemed to leave her, and a moment later she took a deep breath as she looked away. Shepard took a step toward her, placing a hand on her other arm.

"I'm sorry, Jane, I didn't mean-"

"Let's just get out of here." Jane muttered, stepping between the two of them abruptly and turning down the hall. Shepard and Garrus exchanged a glance before following after her.


The ride back to the Normandy docking bay was completed in silence, and no one said a word to the three of them as they stepped through the airlock, their armor blood splattered and their faces stoney. In silence, they made their way down to the crew deck, and Jane led them through into the port observation deck. Without missing a beat, she turned and beelined straight for the bar, leaning over it to pull out three glasses.

Garrus hesitated at the door, watching as Shepard made to join her. Jane looked up and Garrus shot her a questioning look, but she smiled slightly and gestured to one of the open seats, the invitation clear. Jane seated herself in the middle, each of them taking the seats on either side of her. Once the drinks were poured, she took a sip, sighed, and looked up at the ceiling.

"EDI, you there?" Silence met her question, and as it dragged on, Garrus realized how odd it felt to not have the AI's constant presence while aboard the Normandy. Jane took another sip before putting down her drink, pulling out her omni-tool, and striding around the room as she scanned. Returning to her seat, she grabbed her drink again with a huff. "Well, I think we're safe, but if you find me dead in my bed tomorrow morning, we'll know I'm wrong." She drawled sarcastically, causing Shepard to roll his eyes.

"Surely you're being a tad dramatic."

"We'll find out, I guess."

"What is all this about, Jane? Why all the lies, all the secrecy, all the sneaking about? You opened up about everything with the Reds, but what about everything else? You promised to tell me everything."

"You're right, I did." She paused at that, looking down at her drink before continuing, "When you… when you died, the council made me a Spectre."

"They what?" Shepard's eyes popped as his drink stopped an inch from his mouth. He put it down as she stared at his sister, who continued to gaze down into her drink. Garrus took a sip of his own, his mind wandering back to when he'd first heard Jane recount the story in the small office at the embassies.

"They'd gotten wind of a huge project Cerberus had been working on and asked me to go undercover to figure out what it was."

"Wait, so, this whole time…?"

"Yeah." Jane took a sip, and Garrus looked down at her to see the weary exhaustion on her face, his heart tugging. Shepard sat up and looked away, his eyes wide as he ran a hand over his neatly buzzed hair.

"Holy shit, Jane. You've been undercover this whole time. You never joined Cerberus, you're not one of them, you never…" He trailed off, the relief in his voice nearly palpable.

"No, of course not. I'm not crazy." Jane scoffed, turning to raise an eyebrow at her brother. "And, honestly, I'm not sure if I should feel insulted or not that you thought me capable of that."

"You gave me no answers and you've been acting oddly. For all I knew, you had gone crazy."

"Well, I haven't."

"It all makes sense. You've been sneaking off to send reports to the council, haven't you?"

"For the most part, yeah, among other things. Getting a hold of contacts, gathering necessary intel. You know."

"So that explains why the council knew as much as they did when I first met with them."

"Yeah, sorry to ruin the surprise. I only told them what they needed to know, I'm not tattling on you." She sat upright, her eyes growing serious. "They've asked me to keep an eye on you and report back to them, but I won't. You can trust me, I'm on your side. I'm always on your side."

"I know. I never should have doubted you." Shepard raised a hand to place on her shoulder, giving it a familiar squeeze. "Now, start from the beginning, tell me everything."

The story was no different than the first time Garrus heard it from her, but he found himself just as engrossed and astonished. They'd all made it to the bottom of their cups by the time the story ended, but no one seemed inclined to pour another.

"Huh. It explains so much." Shepard murmured after she'd finished, scratching his chin in consideration. "All the C-Sec officers deferring to you, knowing interesting people such as Zaeed and Kasumi, all the unanswered questions." They sat there for a little, slowly sipping their drinks in silence until he continued, "I've spent so much of my life thinking of you as just my little sister, but you're really something else, Jane. I'm really impressed. You went through a lot while I was dead."

"I did what I had to."

"Maybe, but I'm proud of you." Shepard stood up from the bar and took a step back. Jane turned to face him, but he grabbed her suddenly and pulled her into a tight hug. She stood there in surprise for a moment before returning the hug with equal enthusiasm.

Garrus couldn't help a pleased chuckle, and as they parted, Shepard shot him an amused glance. "You've been pretty sly about all this, haven't you, Garrus? None of this seems a surprise for you. How long have you known?" Garus cleared his throat, feeling mild embarrassment at being caught out.

"Since you sent me after her last time we were on the Citadel. I may have bent the truth a little, she wasn't quite as hard to track as I let on." He shot Jane a smug smirk, which caused her to roll her eyes and smile, "Caught her going into the Spectre offices and she swore me to secrecy."

"Aaah, I see. Well, I'm a little miffed, but it's hard to be angry. I can understand the need for secrecy, Cerberus won't be happy when they find out you've been leaking information."

"I may have fucked that all up with my actions today, though." Jane sighed, frustration evident in her voice. "I waved my Spectre privileges around a little too much."

"It'll be okay. If the Illusive Man tries to pull anything, I'll think of something." Shepard stated firmly, causing Jane to chuckle.

"Thanks, John."

"Of course." He replied, but after a moment, he continued, his voice quiet, "Jane, I'm sorry I've doubted you all these weeks. I should have known better."

"No." Jane insisted, her voice hard, "You have nothing to apologize for. I'm the one who's sorry. I could have figured out a way to tell you sooner than this, I just…" She paused, seeming to struggle for words before continuing, "I'm the one who shouldn't have doubted you. When I first found you alive, I was so scared."

"I remember."

"No, I mean… I knew you were John Shepard, but I wasn't sure if you were really you, or if they'd altered you somehow. I don't know, I just felt like I couldn't be sure. But the more time I've spent with you, the more positive I've become that you're really my brother. My kind, loving, dorky, idiot brother." She grinned at him after that, and Garrus felt something tight around his chest loosen at the familiar sight. Shepard's face, however, seemed to wilt, his eyes dropping.

"You really think so?" He asked, his voice laced with creeping doubt. She lifted a gauntleted fist and bumped her armored knuckles against his hardsuit's chest plate affectionately.

"If I didn't honestly believe that you were truly you, I wouldn't have confided everything in you tonight." Jane stated plainly, causing Shepard to smile down at her, his face softening and warming. Without warning, he wrapped his arms around her in a big hug, squeezing her tight and causing her to yelp in surprise.

"Shit, Jane! You're a Spectre! That's two in the family, Mom and Dad would have been so proud!" Shepard chortled, throwing his head back as Jane struggled against him.

"John! Put me down!" She laughed as he lifted her up, giving her a gentle shake before putting her back down on the ground again.

Garrus felt himself smile at the display, particularly the huge grin on Shepard's face as Jane punched his shoulder the moment he released her. There was an ease and relaxedness to Shepard that he hadn't seen since before his death, and in that moment he realized exactly how heavily his sister's secrets had been weighing on him. Jane had always been a rock for Shepard, and not having her to rely on had been taking a toll on him.

The drinks probably helped, too.

"Okay, okay. I need to get some work done before we ship out tomorrow, I have to go over the manifest for all the supplies we picked up."

"Are you sober enough to work?" Jane asked, a brow raised as she turned to look at the empty glasses still on the bar top.

"I'm not that much of a lightweight, Jane, jeez. Plus-" Shepard shrugged with forced nonchalance, "Since waking up, it seems like I sober up faster than I used to." Garrus didn't miss the slight flash of discomfort that flashed across his face. Jane's smile faded slightly as well, which she covered up by punching him in the shoulder again. "Ouch, stop that! I'll be fine, I'll just pick up something to eat on my way back upstairs. I'm going to leave before you can hit me again." Shepard headed toward the door, but paused and turned back to look at Jane. "Thanks, Jane. For telling me everything."

Jane, who had returned to her seat at the bar beside Garrus, smiled and shrugged. "Sorry it took me so long." They shared a smile before Shepard turned and left, the door closing behind him. The moment he was gone, Jane leaned back against the bar with a big sigh. "You've been quiet today." She quipped at Garrus with a small smile and a raised brow.

"I figured you and John needed to figure it out between you. I'm glad you finally got everything out in the open. You both needed that." He replied thoughtfully, and after a moment, she nodded.

"I suppose you're right. And it does feel good to have told him everything."

"I'm surprised you wanted me around for everything, honestly."

"Garrus, I almost always want you around." Jane laughed as she leaned forward and kissed his mandible, causing him to hum happily. Their relationship, or whatever it was, was so new, so fresh, that everytime something like that came out of one of their mouths, he found himself stopping to think: wait, is this a dream?

Her hands came up to grip one of his forearms, fingers running over his armor in a seemingly aimless pattern until he heard the click of one of the latches coming undone. He grinned as he watched her pick the armor off him, removing his glove before shifting her attention to his other forearm.

"You're quick to the point, aren't you." He stated, giving up on attempting to quell the anticipation thrumming in his subvocals.

"I'm a girl who knows what she wants." Jane murmured, smirking as his second hand finally came free. The second she dropped his glove to the floor, he lifted his hands to her face, leaning forward to press a kiss to her lips. He was getting better at it, at least he thought so.

"I'm not complaining, far from it." Garrus muttered as he let his eyes explore her face, taking in every detail. They landed on the hundreds of small, faint, brown spots speckled across her nose and cheeks, letting one of his thumbs come up to ghost across them gently. He considered, for a moment, bringing up some of what had transpired earlier that evening, but instead asked, "What are these?"

"What? My freckles?" She asked, amusement in her voice.

"Yeah. I've always wondered, but of the many things I've read about humans, they've never come up." She raised an eyebrow at that before replying.

"They're just a part of my skin. Some humans have them, some don't. I think it's a regional thing. In the one picture I have of my mother, she has them, too. I think even some asari have them." Jane trailed off before looking up at him as he let his thumb brush over them again. "You don't mind them, do you?" He caught the slight hesitation in her voice

"No, of course not." Garrus said hurriedly, "I love them. They look like stars in the sky." He whispered, causing her to flush pink, a small smile spreading across her face.

"God, what did I do to deserve you?" She asked tiredly as she leaned forward to lean her forehead against his with a small nuzzle. After a moment, he drew away, inspecting her closely.

"You sound exhausted, would you like to go lay down?" He asked hesitantly, despite the fact that he dreaded missing out on even a second of time alone with her.

"No, I can think of better ways to spend my time right now…" She grinned just as he heard the click of his chest piece's latches coming undone. Glancing down, he saw that her fingers had secretly snaked up to continue on their mission to free him from his armor. She sobered for a moment as she added, "Thanks for the support today. It was comforting knowing you had my back." It felt as though something in his chest was expanding, his heart flipping buoyantly as he leaned in to nuzzle her cheek.

"Always."


(Note: I was worried that I wouldn't be able to update today like usual, as I'm out of town traveling alone with my toddler, and pretty much everything that could go wrong, DID go wrong. This chapter comes to you from my car, parked at a rest stop in the middle of nowhere, my phone being my hotspot, my son blessedly asleep in the back. Please wish me luck for the trials ahead )