Edward's POV
In the dark room where I once spent my nights with Bella, unbeknownst to Charlie. Though now he knew and there was no more pretending. I laid next to the most beautiful girl in the world. The rhythm of her heartbeat and breathing was steady and music to my ears. She was sleeping with her head on my arm, her legs tangled with mine, and her right hand clutching my shirt, not wanting me to leave her. I had no plans for that. I didn't want to leave her side, ever.
She moved a little, making a few strands of hair fall on her face. Gently, so I didn't wake her, I moved my hand that had been wrapped around her back, up to her face, and tucked the loose hair behind her ear. Smoothing her hair against her neck, my eyes took in the sight of my love. Her closed eyes were puffy, and her cheeks were tear stained from all the crying she did. She had cried for hours and hours until she wore herself out and fell asleep.
My dead heart broke at the realization that I was the cause of those tears. My carelessness of letting my overactive teenage hormones get the better of me, made her cry.
She was pregnant again and only I was to blame.
"I'm sorry." I whispered my apology to her. She was sleeping and wouldn't hear me of course; I was aware of that. Even so, my guilt made me need to say it out loud.
Pulling myself closer to her, as close as I could get without crushing her, her body heat wrapped around me, making me feel warm. I placed a kiss on her forehead. This girl, this fragile human girl was my first and only love, and I was hers. She loved me without an end even when I messed up and boy, did I ever mess up this time.
Feeling like such a cad, I sighed.
The room was quiet as we laid in the bed where our second child was conceived. Bella was sleeping and I hoped she was having peaceful dreams. Usually, her sleep talking would give me clues of what her dreams were about, but there was no talking in her sleep right now. Not even a mumble. She was too exhausted to utter a single word in her sleep.
Minutes faded into hours but felt like days. The only sounds in the room were Bella's even breath and her steady heartbeat. I laid there listening to the silence, not fiddling on my phone or reading a book like I normally did to pass the time.
My thoughts were my only entertainment for the night, my only way to pass the time. My mind began to take me back to the day my worries – that were now my reality – were only thoughts in my mind and nothing more.
I had been fearing this, Bella becoming pregnant would become my reality for a while now. For about a month. Though she had not been aware of that.
It had been two months since Lizzy was born. Eight weeks since we welcomed her into the world, she was perfect in every way I could imagine. I truly couldn't imagine a baby more perfect than she even if I tried.
Lizzy filled me with joy, the kind I never knew could exist, even on days where she was being cranky and loud. Like she currently was on this particular morning.
"I changed her, fed her, held her, rocked her, bounced her, and sang to her. I also tried to give her a pacifier, but she didn't want it." Bella listed all the ways she had tried to calm Lizzy down. "Why does she keep crying? What will make her stop?"
"I don't know." I admitted. "Her thoughts aren't providing much information. I don't think she knows exactly what she needs."
Lizzy cried louder and Bella frowned.
It was a weekday morning, and we were in the kitchen. I was washing the breakfast dishes, doing my part to help out as much as I could since I stayed at Charlie's for free. He insisted for me not to pay him rent because I didn't have my own income. Therefore, I didn't pay him a dime for letting me live in his house. Though I did make sure I helped out with chores whether he asked me to or not.
While I scrubbed the dishes Bella was frantically placing our school supplies on the kitchen table, all while Lizzy sat in her pink bouncy seat that was placed on the floor, with the soothing vibration motion and calming melody switched on to help her stop crying. Though I'm not sure how effective those features were because she was the opposite of clam. Her little face was red, her tiny hands were clenched into fists, her tiny feet kicked angrily in the air, and she was loudly letting us know she was very unhappy. Just as she had been doing since she woke up.
It was very unpleasant and made my head hurt. Though I kept my complaints to myself. Just as I was keeping something else to myself. Something I should have told Bella but didn't.
Trying to tune out the cries that wouldn't stop and doing my best to not think about what happened the night before, I finished up with the dishes and moved on to sweeping the floor. I was sweeping dirt into the dustpan when Bella spoke.
"Edward," Bella quickly said my name while Lizzy howled like a sad wolf.
"Yeah?" I looked up from my task.
"Please tell me you aren't planning on mopping right now." She shouted over the loud cries of our baby who now sound like an unhappy chicken. "We don't have time."
"I was." I admitted, dumping the dirt in the dustpan into the trash. It was my habit to sweep the floor then mop, I learned that from my mother and Bella knew this.
She frowned. I sighed.
"Could you please do it later?" She asked. Her tone was stressed.
"Of course." I said and put the broom and dustpan back where they belonged.
Bella bent down infront of the bouncy seat right then. She unbuckled Lizzy, cradled her in her arms and stood up. She walked over to me and placed our loud, crying infant in my arms.
"I really need help getting her to stop crying." Bella said, sounding helpless. "I fed and changed her. I don't know what's wrong and we have seven minutes before we need to log onto our student accounts." She pointed to our school laptops. "I have a scheduled Zoom class meeting and an oral history test to take. My teacher marked me down the last time she was crying."
Lizzy screamed, tears rolling down her small face, and I felt helpless. I didn't have any answers on how to get our baby to calm down either.
"She just keeps crying and I don't know what to do." Bella seemed to be on the verge of tears herself. Quickly but gently, I adjusted my crying baby in one arm, while I wrapped my free arm around Bella, she returned my embrace.
"Don't fret, love," I kissed the top of her head. "I can take Lizzy to Emmett's and study there so you will have peace and quiet." As I said this I bounced Lizzy in my arm in hopes to get her to stop her crying. It did not help.
"But they," Bella began, talking about Emmett and Rosalie. "Live in Oil City. That's a half hour away from here."
"I know."
Our hug ended and I was now bouncing Lizzy in a motion that usually quieted her down. Though it wasn't working, she was still crying with no signs of stopping.
"But you'll be late signing in for school." Bella pointed out. She was more worried about this than I was.
"I don't have to be on Zoom today, that's tomorrow." I reminded her. "Being tardy won't be as bad for me as it would be for you. I'll have my mother call the school office with a valid excuse for me. It will be fine."
Bella bit her bottom lip.
She didn't seem to want me to leave, and I wasn't sure why. But I needed to leave. There was something I must speak to Emmett about in person and I saw this as my chance.
"This is your last month of distance learning," She reminded me about my deal with my parents. For the first three months of Lizzy's life, I could remain on distant learning, after that, I would go back to in person school. Then eventually I would need to find an after-school job. Because I was a father now and needed to provide for my child, my parents had told me. "When you go back to in person learning, it won't always be cloudy. There will be sunny days and you'll have to stay home. Shouldn't you keep your perfect attendance while you still can?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "Love, this isn't the first or last time I will be in the twelfth grade. But it is your first time, your education matters more to me than my perfect attendance." I spoke honestly as Lizzy cried. "Which is why I think it's best if Lizzy and I head over to Emmett's while you complete your schoolwork."
Lizzy let loose an ear-piercing cry at that very moment.
"Okay." Bella reluctantly agreed.
We kissed each other on the lips, giving a momentary goodbye to one another. Bella kissed the top of Lizzy's little head, then prepared for school as I packed up everything I needed. I put my schoolbooks, laptop, and a rectangular item from upstairs in my backpack. Then grabbed Lizzy's diaper bag with all the diapers, wipes, and clothing she would need for a day, plus a can of formula, and her bottle. Along with her Boppy pillow, Bumbo seat, her Interactive Playmate, and many other items to entertain her. Before Lizzy and I were out the door I grabbed her spare Pack N Play that was folded in the downstairs closet.
I was out the door and had everything packed in the car with Lizzy strapped into her car seat, before Bella's teacher was even signed into the Zoom meeting. As soon as my car – now a black SUV with the Baby on Board sticker on the rear window – was in motion, my infant was silent. Apparently, she wanted to go for a ride and wasn't able to communicate it through her thoughts. So, even I didn't know what she had wanted when she had been crying constantly for over an hour.
I took advantage of her silence and made a couple quick calls as I drove. The first call I made was to Emmett to let him know he would soon have company; he was fine with that. Rosalie was at work, and he had the day off, so he didn't mind us visiting. The second call was to my mother, to let her know she needed to call the school and provide a reasonable excuse for me logging onto my laptop later than usual. She reassured me she would. Our call didn't last long since I was driving and she was at work.
With the radio tuned into '50's music I sang along with the songs I liked and every now and then I would get an approving coo from my audience. Lizzy loved music and was easy to please. I imagined she would one day be singing along with me as soon as she could talk.
I drove cautiously through Forks and into the next town, singing and having one-sided conversations with my little passenger, who eventually fell asleep. Our ride took a while since I drove slower than I used to but not as slow as the old man I should be. I drove a lot faster than any senior citizen around but not nearly as reckless as I once did because of my precious cargo.
Driving to the outskirts of town a very large white, two-story house with a picket fence and no neighbor's around for miles around, came into my view. It was my destination.
I parked my car outside the fence, opened my door, and got Lizzy from the backseat, keeping her in her car seat that doubled as a baby carrier. She was still sleeping as I grabbed the rest of our belongings and made my way to the house. The front door swung open before I even reached it and there stood my brother.
'What's with all the luggage?' Emmett silently joked, looking at everything I was holding. "Are you and the munchkin staying for a day or moving in?" He teased out loud.
"Babies need a lot of items to survive for one day." I replied, stepping inside his house.
Though I did have to admit, seeing the image of me carrying Lizzy in her infant seat, long with everything else, did look like a lot. I could definitely be mistaken for a traveler or someone who was moving in a hurry and couldn't find any boxes.
"I see." He happily took the infant seat from me. He was excited to see his niece. "But is bringing the whole house with you necessary? I'm sure you have the kitchen sink somewhere in your luggage."
I rolled my eyes. His joke wasn't funny.
"I was playing Fortnight when you called," he said, changing the subject. "You can set up shop," –he gestured to my belongings– "In my mancave while I play."
"Fine by me. Just make sure you're not too loud for Lizzy." I warned him.
"I'll do my best." He said with a grin. "But I can't make any promises. If I play with stupid people that get me killed, I have no choice but to be loud and make a scene. They need to know they are idiots."
I did not respond.
Emmett and I walked further into his and Rosalie's grand house that Bella often referred to as a palace. It was large, elegantly decorated with two spacious living rooms, one off to the side of the main entrance, and the other one was deeper into the house.
There were five bedrooms on the second floor and four on the first floor. Only two people lived here; they didn't need this much space. Yet they bought a huge house with plenty of other rooms for their hobbies with their "inheritance", after our parents suggested they needed their own place when they enrolled in college.
We strolled past the kitchen and into the long downstairs hallway that led to his man cave. All the doors to the rooms on either side of us were shut. One of these particular rooms was a pole dancing room and I never questioned why. I didn't want to acknowledge the strange hobbies that my brother and sister were into. And there were many odd things they were into.
Well, Rosalie was technically my sister-in-law since Emmett was my adopted brother, just as Jasper was. Though, over the years, I often referred to Rose as my sister instead of an in-law. The same went for Alice who was also my sister-in-law, but I always thought of her as a sister too.
Emmett and I walked to his man cave as Lizzy began to stir. Her thoughts began to change from peaceful shapes and colors to remembering what her formula tasted like. With her thoughts on that I knew she wouldn't sleep for much longer.
Quickly, I set up her Pack N Play next to the couch, set my laptop on the coffee table that was in the shape of a game controller, and logged in to my school account. All while Lizzy awoke with an odd chirping sound, she was excited to see her uncle. Emmett then removed her from the infant seat and took her over to his gaming set up in the corner of the room.
Before I began my studies, I made Lizzy a bottle and handed it to Emmett. I knew from both of their thoughts that he would be the one feeding her because he wanted to hold her, and she wanted to be held by him. Neither one was willing to let the other go, which was exactly why Lizzy had her tiny hand wrapped around his giant pinky.
With Lizzy in Emmett's care, I began my schoolwork.
Lizzy drank while I was working on my first class which was Fire Science. While Emmett was burping her, he had suggested hunting a rabbit and draining the blood in a bottle for her next feeding. Because he thought she might like a change in her diet. But I turned him down, reminding him that his niece did not drink blood. I tried it once and she wouldn't latch onto the nipple of the bottle.
My daughter, though half vampire, did not drink blood at all. She was repulsed by its smell and even disliked the scent on my breath after I went hunting.
During English class Lizzy needed a diaper change. That's something I refuse to do, it's such a horrible task that I can't bring myself to do it, and everyone in my family knows it. I was grateful to Emmett when he changed her without asking me if I was going to do that.
With her belly full and a clean diaper on, Lizzy had tummy time on the floor while I tried to focus on Calculus and her uncle played his games with his headphones on. Several times I had to remind him to be a little quieter and watch his language around my baby. I definitely didn't want "oh shit" to be her first words.
When all of my assignments for the day were complete and it was time for me to log off, I did. I placed my laptop and textbooks in my backpack. By this time Lizzy was sleeping peacefully in her Pack N Play and Emmett was still playing Fortnight. His olive head character had just killed a rather large wolf and was celebrating by doing the Funky Chicken dance. The character on the screen looked ridiculous.
Emmett was very absorbed in the game, that wasn't good, I needed to get his attention. I needed to talk to him about something important.
"Emmett," I called to him from where I sat on the couch. Though he had his headphones on he heard me perfectly.
"In a minute." He replied automatically.
From his thoughts that were all on the game he was playing, I had a feeling a minute could take a lot longer than sixty seconds. I couldn't wait long. I began to fret about my problem with nothing to distract me. A couple minutes passed, and he was still playing. At this point, I was losing my patience.
In one fluid move I took the rectangular item out of my backpack and was by my brother's side in an instant. He was too focused on the game he played to even look my way. That annoyed me.
"Here, you can have these." I slammed the box on his desk and went back to the couch.
'Temper, temper.' He silently tisk in mock disapproval. He then looked at the small box that was by his keyboard and was immediately confused. 'So much rage toward a box of cock socks.' He snorted, taking my behavior as a joke.
He looked over his shoulder and waited for me to laugh at his joke. He made a face when I didn't then turn back to his game.
"Those are horrible!" I spat out, sounding every bit like a whiny teenager.
He removed his headphones, placed them on his desk and grabbed the box, and rotated his chair to look at me. I sat on the couch with both of my hands in my hair in frustration.
"Okay, kid, let's hear it. Why so angry at glow in the dark cum catchers?" He asked, holding up the box in question. He knew a lot of slang nicknames for condoms, and this was his opportunity to use them in a conversation. "What did the poor little raincoats ever do to you?"
"It slipped off." I confessed in a rush.
'Oh shit.' He thought. Realization set in and all jokes were gone. "Did your jizz go into her?" He questioned seriously, though he was sure he knew the answer by my behavior.
"Yes. Unfortunately, it did. All of it." I took a deep breath.
Usually when I had something tangible that I needed help with, I would go to my father for advice. But this problem was too embarrassing to speak to him about. This was more fitting to talk to my oldest brother about.
"Holy shit." Emmett breathed the words and thought the rest. 'When did that happen?'
"Last night." I answered his question with honesty.
The night before Bella and I had shared a wonderful time. We had gotten lost in the pleasure of each other after Lizzy was fast asleep. It was the first time we made love since she gave birth. It took eight weeks to get the all-clear to do so since her body and the stitches she had to have, needed a lot of time to heal.
To a seventeen-year-old –which I still was in a number of ways though I didn't always like to admit my mental age– eight weeks plus the last month and a half of Bella's pregnancy, was a very long time not to have sex. Which was why I foolishly bought the wrong size condoms when I returned to town after a weekend hunting trip with my parents in Alaska.
There were only two sizes at the gas station that night, I knew neither one would fit me. One was too big and the other one would be way too small. But I bought the extra-large size anyway, and walked out of the store, got in my car, and hurried to Bella's house. In retrospect, I should have taken my time and went somewhere else to buy the correct size. But I didn't. I was impatient. Now as I sat on the couch inside my brother's man cave confessing what had happened, I regretted my decision. Because the condom had slipped off and my venom base semen, that Bella and I often referred to as just venom, had filled her up instead of the condom.
I was fearing she might become pregnant again and told this all to Emmett. Yet, I was too much of a coward to confess this out loud to Bella. So, I had come to my oldest brother with my possible problem.
Emmett listened to me knowing this was no light issue. This was huge, and I was struggling. Wanting to give me his full attention he exited the game he had been playing and turned off his computer. He came over and sat down beside me.
As far back as my memory would reach in my human life, I knew Emmett was never a tactful person. Not even when I was a kid he hadn't been, our parents were always scolding him for the strange things he would say in front of me. He often blurted out what was on his mind without thinking twice about the outcome his words would have. Though he was struggling now, wanting not to insult me.
"You're worried you put another bun in the oven?" He guessed, trying to be considerate in his own unique way.
"Yes. I'm worried Bella will end up pregnant again." I said and sighed.
'That may very well happen since you nutted inside her. All it takes is one time of raw dogging it for a human girl to end up preggers.' His thoughts did not sugar coat anything.
"I know that." I groaned. "I wasn't trying to do this on purpose. I was trying to be safe, but it didn't work. Now she might be pregnant, and I don't know what to do if that happens."
"We can't control what happens. If it does you admit to Bella it was an accident and be happy Lizzy will have a playmate. That's all you do. For now, don't worry about it, you don't know the outcome yet. Live in the moment and don't worry about what might be." He spoke his solution so easily.
But it was my life, and nothing felt easy to me. It was all overwhelming and my fears were crashing down on me.
"If it does happen… If Bella and I do have another baby," I said hesitantly. "I can't even begin to imagine what having two babies back-to-back would be like."
"Lizzy will grow up with a buddy. It's good to have them close together like Jazz and I are with our human ages." He spoke. His thoughts were on the early days of their brotherhood, when it was just them and our parents. I came into the family much later than both of my brothers did and unlike them, our parents adopted me when I was a human baby. Since I was human when my brothers were not, I was younger than them and often wished for a playmate until my age finally caught up to theirs.
I thought about that for a couple of minutes. It would be nice for Lizzy to be a big sister, to always have someone to play with, and never feel lonely.
"Maybe another baby won't be so bad." I said out loud. "I guess there's nothing I can do but wait and see what the outcome is, since the darn condom slipped off."
"Dude, love gloves don't come off if you get the right size!" He spoke a little too loudly, making Lizzy jump in her sleep.
I shot him a look. He wasn't fazed by it.
"She's sleeping, keep your voice down." I hissed in a fierce tone.
"Easy, kid. I forget about being too loud when she's here since I don't sleep and it's been a while since you did. I just forget she needs quiet when she sleeps, that's all." He apologized.
I didn't respond and he didn't expect me to.
He knew me long enough to realize I wasn't snapping at him because I was angry with him. But because I was overwhelmed with everything that was going on in my life. He didn't begrudge me for my actions, and I was grateful for that. His easy-going nature had him taking my unintentional disrespectfulness with a grain of salt.
"Anyways," He began, going back to what he had been trying to say in the first place. "If the naughty bag fell off, extra-large is not the size for you, my pubescent brother."
"I know." I admitted, pinching the bridge of my nose, and ignoring his jab at my age and size. "Like I said before, the gas station only had two sizes and I went with the biggest."
Emmett shook his head. He didn't think that was a smart thing to do, though he didn't say that out right.
I prepared myself for a lecture from him about being safe. Similar to the speech he and Jasper gave me when the condom broke and resulted in Bella being pregnant with Lizzy, not so long ago. But no talk came. Instead, he stood up from the couch, excused himself, saying he needed to go get something and for me to stay put. With that, he left his man cave.
I had no idea what he was getting since his mind was on the knitting circle that he went to every Sunday. For some reason he seemed to want to knit a giant dragon and I couldn't understand why. That had nothing to do with our conversation.
Knitting seemed like a strange hobby for him to be into, but he enjoyed it. Even stranger was how he came to dabble in the craft. It was during the beginning of COVID when everyone was in lockdown and we were all home, bored out of our minds, and getting on each other's nerves.
Jasper tried to liven things up by betting Emmett a hundred dollars that he couldn't knit a single sock. Well, Emmett took that bet, picked up our mother's knitting needles and knit a sock. Our mother was very impressed with his skills and the one sock he made, until she realized it wasn't a sock for a foot but a willy warmer, as my father called it. She was deeply embarrassed though Emmett was unashamed. That was the beginning of his odd hobby.
Sitting there in his man cave with my sleeping newborn beside me in her Pack N Play, I was wondering why he wanted me to wait there. I didn't have to wonder long because he soon returned. I had half expected him to come back with yarn and knitting needles, so I was very shocked to see him holding fruit.
"Em, why do you have bananas?" I asked. He held a regular size banana in one hand and a miniature one in the other hand. I couldn't figure out what his motive was since his thoughts gave nothing away. He was still thinking about knitting a giant dragon.
'I don't know.' He truthfully thought as he shrugged his shoulders.
I raised an eyebrow in question. "How could you not know the reason why you have bananas?" This did not make sense to me. Did he not know why he was holding them?
"Because a coworker of Rose gave these to her the other day." He held up the yellow fruit in question. "In return Rose gave the girl two different size zucchinis. I think it's a sex joke but I'm not sure, for some reason Rose neither admits or denies they are talking about big peckers at the daycare."
I stared at him, deadpan. That wasn't what I meant.
Obviously, there was a miscommunication between us. I didn't mean where the bananas came from or why he and Rosalie had human food in their kitchen, but now I knew. I had been asking why he brought bananas into his man cave when neither of us could eat them for a snack. Nor could Lizzy who only drank her nourishment. Before I was able to clear up the confusion Emmett placed the small banana in my right hand. He kept the larger banana and went back to his gaming area and grabbed the box of condoms from his desktop.
It was no surprise what he was going to do now. Properly demonstrate how to apply a condom. I openly protested which he found funny and said I needed this since I didn't have a great track record with happy hats, as he called them.
Thankfully Lizzy woke up then, ceasing our odd conversation, and getting me out of awkwardly placing a condom on a banana. It's a common practice among Sex Ed teachers to have their students do. But Emmett is no sex Ed teacher. In fact, he's an assistant Elementary school P.E. coach. Though for unknown reasons, in this moment he was trying to take on the role of a Sex Ed teacher and give me a lesson he assumed I needed.
Inwardly I cringed.
My father already gave me that talk before Bella, and I became intimate. He and my mother noticed Bella and I were spending a lot of time in my room together when she would come over. So, my father's solution was to have the sex talk with me and have me apply a condom to a banana in front of him! It was very embarrassing. Definitely not something I wanted to happen twice.
Lizzy cried and my focus was on nobody but her. She sounded like a cat as she demanded I pick her up and Emmett laughed. My baby making animal sounds was his doing and he found it hilarious.
"Hey, little love," I bent down, leaning on the Pack N Play. For some reason I still had the banana in my hand, and she was looking at it with wonder. "Did you have a nice sleep?"
Lizzy's reply was to coo and happily kick her feet. Her thoughts were on me, she loved her daddy and wanted me to pick her up. How could I say no to that? Why would I want to?
I did as she wished, picking her up and holding her close to my chest, and the next thing I knew she grabbed the banana from me and squeezed it in both of her hands. Her grip was strong for a little one, it was certainly no match for the tiny banana as it spattered in my face, making her squeal like a happy little pig. The mushy fruit clouded my vision, I wiped the mush from my eyes while Emmett laughed his booming laugh.
Immediately I picked up my daughter's thoughts as she sniffed the air, acting more vampire than human. She loved the smell of the banana. She was delighted by the scent and couldn't get enough. From that moment I knew bananas would be the first food she would eat. I couldn't wait to feed her real food, but she was too young then and didn't even have a single tooth. Feeding her would have to wait.
Bella mumbled something in her sleep. It was low and light, but loud enough to bring me out of my thoughts. Since I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings, I had no idea what she said.
Disappointment invaded me. I wanted to hear her talk in her sleep, but I missed it.
I waited and waited, hoping she would speak again. I wanted to hear what was on her mind, but she was silent for the longest time. As I watched her sleep, I silently begged her to speak, at one point I even looked out the window and wished upon a star.
It was a bit childish; I do admit. But nevertheless, it was effective. When Bella untangled herself from me and rolled over, she finally spoke.
"Edward," Bella whispered in her sleep. "Hungry shark ate the pregnancy test. No, bad shark."
I smiled then. Evidently, she had been dreaming of giant fish with sharp teeth and the pregnancy test. What an odd combination. I softly chuckled at that.
My amusement vanished as quickly as it had appeared. My fears from the day that seemed so long ago, when I confessed to Emmett that I wasn't as safe as I thought I was, were now real. Bella was pregnant, all it took was that one time. She and I would soon have Irish twins, as babies born so close in age were often called. Lizzy would be a big sister and always have someone to play with, and I would be a dad to two little babies. That meant two of everything and twice the crying, not to mention twice the diaper changes to avoid.
Another thing that was on my mind was that Bella and I would need to move out of Charlie's house soon. We would need a place of our own. One room was not big enough for a family of four, which we soon would be. But I wasn't sure where we would go because Bella wouldn't want to move far from her father.
Everything was beginning to overwhelm me.
Before I could think too much about my future or wallow in my guilt, a noise from outside caught my attention. A car was drawing near and the cloudy mind of the driver –whom I was more familiar with now, but still had to guess a lot of what went through his mind– was exhausted from working overtime. He was looking forward to coming home, laying down, and falling asleep.
Without warning Charlie's thoughts changed from images of his bed to the toilet and I was concerned. He was about three miles away now; his car was rapidly approaching and that worried me.
I had no desire to move. Though I knew I must. There was something in the wastebasket inside the bathroom that needed to be removed, which was the positive pregnancy test. Charlie would soon be home and I didn't want him to find out we were expecting again by seeing that in the trash. That would definitely not be the best way to announce a new baby.
Knowing I needed to get up I leaned over to Bella's side of the bed; my face was inches away from her. Her mouthwatering aroma wasn't as strong or tempting to me as it normally was as I placed a kiss on her soft cheek. I got up then, leaving her room in a rush. I was too in a hurry to close the door; I left it open knowing I would return shortly.
With no need to keep my speed human, I didn't. I ran to the bathroom, grabbed the bag out of the waste basket, flew downstairs and grabbed the kitchen trash as well. Neither bag was full, but I figured taking out two half empty bags of trash was less suspicious than one.
My quick movements were rather comical, I have to admit. If anyone had been watching me, they would have assumed I was very enthusiastic to toss out the garbage. Though in reality, I was on a mission.
Opening the front door, I was met by the cold air and light snow flurries falling down. It wasn't chilly to me, but I could feel the difference between the comfort of warmth inside the house and the cold air that waited for me outside. Stepping onto the porch with snowflakes fluttering down, a quick thought crossed my mind as I shut the door behind me. It would have been a beautiful night if I could appreciate the beauty. But it was lost on me, I had too much on my mind.
Charlie's cruiser was driving down the street now. I didn't move, I couldn't. Thoughts creeped into my mind. Memories and broken promises. Everything that was irrelevant to my current situation assaulted my mind, making me overthink things that I hadn't thought about in years. I shook my head, trying to dislodge everything that was on my mind.
"Everything will be fine." I mumbled to myself.
At this point Charlie pulled up in the driveway and I was still on the porch, just standing there with two bags of trash in my hand. He noticed me at once and his thoughts were confused. He cut the engine, opened his door, got out and shut it, and still I stood there.
"Edward, it's two in the morning. This is not the time to be hanging around outside." Charlie pointed out in a tight tone, staring at me suspiciously. There was never any real greeting between us, this was as good as it would get.
"I know, Sir." I said lamely, yet respectfully.
Charlie was now thinking about a baby bottle and…the sports channel?
Even after three months of staying at his house, his thoughts were not easy for me to understand. It was difficult since I could only get images instead of words from his mind. With those images from his thoughts, I decoded them like a puzzle. It wasn't always easy.
"Is the little one up?" He was asking about Lizzy now.
Even as fast as my brain worked, I was slow to understand his earlier thoughts, but I was sure I did now. He was thinking about giving my baby girl a late-night bottle like he had the night before. I was sure of that.
But why was the sports channel in the same line of thoughts as feeding his granddaughter? Did he want to watch TV with her? Or maybe he planned to watch TV if she was still awake. I really wasn't sure.
"Um. No." I said slowly. "She's spending the night with my parents so Bella could catch up on her sleep."
He nodded his head in understanding. "And you decided to stay?"
His words came off harsh and the atmosphere between us was tense, as it usually was. Normally he wasn't this chatty towards me, it was his habit to speak to me as little as possible. He often used minimal head and hand gestures to acknowledge me with some grunts thrown in for good measure. He didn't like me much and I didn't blame him. I didn't fault him for that nor did I take it personally that he merely tolerated me for Bella and Lizzy's shake. After all, I was the boy who impregnated his daughter while she was still in high school. And he only knew about the first time so far. I inwardly cringed at that.
"Bella had a rough day and needed me. I stayed for her." I kept my voice even, explaining why I was still here without actually giving away the reason. Usually, I left when Lizzy did to give Charlie a break from me. It was the least I could do.
His face softened and his train of thought changed.
I didn't move or speak. My girlfriend's father was certainly the only human who could make anxiety shoot through me like a bolt of lighting. He had a way about him that often made me feel like I did something wrong when he spoke to me, even if I was blameless. It was a hard feeling to shake, especially now.
"What's the reason why you are standing on the porch at this hour? You were staring across the street when I pulled up. Why?" Charlie asked in a tight voice, walking towards me. This was not a casual query, his muddy thoughts suggested he was worried about my sanity.
"Just…taking out the trash." I responded, holding up the trash bags.
Charlie looked at me dumbfounded. "What were you even looking at?" He wondered, sounding like a cop giving a suspect the third degree.
He looked over at the empty lot in question. Nothing interesting was over there, he looked back at me wanting and waiting for an answer.
Walking down the steps, I shrugged my shoulders. "Nothing. I wasn't looking at anything, really. I was only attempting to empty out the garbage."
Even to my own ears, my words that were a half-truth sounded like an outright lie. There was no doubt that I sounded like I was hiding something, and I was. This was not lost on Charlie.
He rubbed his forehead but didn't say anything. His thoughts suggested he assumed I wasn't telling the whole truth but didn't question me any feather. He planned to continue questioning me in the morning when he was more awake.
"I need to toss these out." I announced, pointing to the trash bags I held.
"Go for it," He waved his hand in the direction I needed to go.
I gave one tight nod before proceeding. Casually, I strolled around the side of the house to where the garbage cans were.
"Keep in mind," he said, his thoughts turned to needing to relieve himself in the bathroom. I blocked out his thoughts. "It's the middle of the night. Don't stay out here too long."
"I won't." I breathed a sigh of relief. I was glad his questioning was done.
With a tired grunt, Charlie stomped up the porch steps and went into the house, leaving me alone. I was glad our chat was over. It was uncomfortable talking with him as it normally was. Though it hadn't always been that way. Our interactions became painful after the Easy Mac and Cheese incident, that was the day he knew he would be a grandfather and began to dislike me.
In a hurry to get back to Bella, I tossed the trash and made my way back inside the house.
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Thank you for reading. :)
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