Matilda stood at the black gate in front of Hortensia's house feeling stunned as she watched Mrs. Rodger's car drive away.

"Pumpkins." she mumbled as a new wave of tears fought for escape and blurred her vision.

"What was that?" Hortensia's mom asked. Matilda shook her head. Eve stared down at her looking unsure of what to do or how to approach her. The last time they had met, Matilda had sent them all to the hospital by blowing up their glass sliding door out of anger. Now Matilda had been dropped off on their doorstop in tears with no warning and little explanation other than, "Her mom's ill, please watch her, I'll call you later and explain."

Matilda followed her inside, hiccuping along the way.

"I know you're upset, but let's try and calm down. You're going to make yourself sick. Why don't you join 'Tens on the couch, and she can put on a movie for you."

Matilda made her way into the living room where Hortensia's attention was glued to the screen with her left hand in a bag of potato chips. She looked away as Matilda climbed up, seemingly noticing her presence for the first time.

"Hey, what are you doing here squirt?" Hortensia took one look at her face and added. "And what did ma do to you? MA!"

"What?" Eve said, hands on her hips.

"What did you do to make her cry?"

"I didn't do anything, she came this way."

"Well, what happened?"

"I don't know." Eve said shaking her head. "Someone from the school just dropped her off in a bit of a panic. Said Miss Honey was ill, didn't say with what."

"From the school? On a Saturday? Ohh, that must be Mrs. Rodger's." Hortensia pursed her lips. "You're not sick too, are you?" Hortensia scooted as far to the other side of the couch as she could and made a cross with her fingers.

"Stop picking on her; she's upset. Actually, come here 'Tens."

"What did I do?" Hortensia scowled. "I was just joking!"

"Just come here, I want to talk to you." Hortensia let out a loud annoyed huff as if she had just been told she had to clean the entire house by herself before following her mom into the hallway. Matilda sat awkwardly by herself, trying not to think about anything. She stared at the television without really seeing it.

"Ma, I don't think that's a good idea." she heard Hortensia say from the hall. She had clearly not mastered the art of keeping her voice down. "You're going to make her more upset than she already is."

Matilda had the distinct impression they were talking about her, even if Hortensia wasn't making it obvious. Whatever it was they thought would upset her was fine. She didn't care. Nothing could possibly make her feel worse than she already felt.

When Hortensia came back, she leaned over and whispered, "I tried."

"Matilda, dear, would you come back here for a minute?" Matilda stood and before making her way down the hall, met Hortensia's eyes. Sorry, the older girl silently mouthed.

She walked down the hall, searching for where the voice had called her from. She found Eve sitting on Hortensia's bed. Matilda stopped in the doorway, head down and shoulders slumped.

"Come have a seat." Eve said, patting the spot on the bed next to her. Once Matilda had sat, Eve continued. "What's got you so down? Do you want to talk about it?" Matilda shook her head. "Is there anything we can do to make you feel better?" Matilda shook her head again. "Are you worried about Miss Honey?" Instead of responding, she just sat there taking in the disaster that was Hortensia's room. She didn't want to have this conversation. She didn't want to think about it.

"I SAID DON'T TOUCH ME!"

Matilda hid her face in her hands and began to bawl.

"I told you not to do it!" they heard coming from the front of the house. Eve stood up and closed the bedroom door before sitting back down.

"Your mommy's going to be just fine, there's nothing to worry about, honey. Did she get bit again?" Matilda shook her head. What had happened in those two minutes she was gone? One minute she had been telling her she loved her and the next…

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH ME!"

What had she done wrong? Miss Honey had never yelled at her like that, let alone shove her away. A sinking feeling began to grow in the pit of Matilda's stomach. It only left one option. Miss Honey knew.

Tiny legs crawling over the upholstery. Tiny legs crawling over the Trunchbull's arms, her legs, her back, her face. The Trunchbull losing control of the car. Crash.

Matilda continued to violently sob. She didn't know how to handle this…this guilt. There was so much.

I killed someone. I killed Miss Trunchbull. So many spiders. So much guilt. She hates you for killing her aunt. That's why she looked at you with such disgust.

She let Eve hold her. Part of her was still angry at Eve, but it was buried so far down and away from the surface it didn't matter. They sat together in silence until Matilda's sobs became dry hiccups.

"Why are you covered in dirt?" Eve asked, after pulling an arm away to find it black. "It's even in your hair, and all over your arms. Have you been crawling under beds?" And into air vents, Matilda thought with a sniffle. "You're taking a bath young lady."

Matilda sat numbly in place and watched as Eve began to untie her shoes and slip them off before doing the same to her socks. She let herself get led to the bathroom by the hand and watched as Eve began to fill the tub.

"Get undressed." Eve ordered. Matilda just stood there. Her arms felt too heavy. Her whole body seemed to suddenly feel too heavy. Besides, she could do this herself in private, but right now, she just didn't care. Fighting Eve just felt like too much work. "Not feeling very independent today, are we? That's alright, let me help you." Matilda felt her shirt get pulled over her head before Eve tugged her pants and underwear down in one swift motion. "Step out."

Matilda lifted her leg up obediently, but felt herself start to stumble back. Eve caught her before she could fall and stared at her, eyes now full of concern.

"Are you feeling okay?" Matilda shrugged. "You're probably just exhausted from all that crying. A quick bath and then I'll put you down for a nap on the couch before dinner. Do you want to try going potty before your bath?" Matilda shook her head. She had to draw the line somewhere. "Well, how about we just try." She felt herself get picked up and set on the toilet. What was the point of asking her then? Eve was staring at her expectantly now.

If it was any other day she would have said something, but she felt too apathetic, so she just averted her eyes and did as she was told. The roar of rushing water from the bathtub made it easy at least and masked the tinkling sound of urine.

"All done?" Eve asked. Matilda nodded. She reached for the toilet paper and pulled off a couple squares, but frowned when it fell from her hand and onto the floor. "Don't worry about it, you're going in the bath anyway. Just sit tight until the waters ready." Matilda had nearly nodded off before Eve told her she was ready for her. When Matilda hopped down from the toilet, she began feeling lightheaded and stumbled a bit.

"Woah," Eve said with a frown, "careful now." She thrust out a hand to keep Matilda from crashing into the wall. "Are you sure you're okay?" Matilda nodded, but Eve didn't look convinced. "I think I'll stay here with you. I don't know how I feel about leaving you alone like this." Matilda shrugged. "You sure aren't feeling very talkative today, are you?" Matilda looked away and stared at the blackening bath water. She really had been dirty, no wonder Eve threw her in the tub.

"It's alright, you don't have to say anything if you don't want to. I must admit though, you're being very well-behaved. You must have been so ornery last time because you weren't feeling well. Ten's is worried you'll be angry with me for this next part, but I don't think you'll give me any trouble, will you?" Matilda saw Eve reach for her and had to fight back the slight impulse to bite her hand. She had hardly been the ornery one on their last meeting, Matilda thought as she felt her head get dunked under the water.

Once Eve had finished scrubbing her down head to toe, Matilda felt even more lightheaded and out of it than earlier. When she stood on the bathmat she had needed to grab onto Eve's waist for support.

"At least you're clean." Eve said with a grimace, staring down at her now wet outfit. "Just a little bit longer, and then you can lay down in front of the TV." Matilda was breathing a little heavy by the time she got back to Hortensia's room. She had had trouble standing in place without swaying while Eve dried her off with a towel. She had been so tempted just to sit on the floor.

"Go ahead and hop up on the bed while I find you something to wear." Matilda wasted no time. She laid down on her back, feeling snug in her towel and closed her eyes while Eve rummaged through the closet. She was fine just staying here like this. It wasn't until she felt her towel getting tugged away did she open her eyes. Eve was standing over her with a t-shirt and, Matilda would have scowled if she had the energy.

"You've been so well-behaved today, you're not going to give me trouble, are you?" So that's what Hortensia had meant when she said she tried to stop her.

Matilda tried to shield herself as a way of saying, "no" but Eve just brushed her hands away. Eh, she tried.

"Yes, Matilda, you've been a very upset little girl today, so let's just cover all our bases, just in case. Besides, you're going to sleep anyway." Matilda should have told she didn't need them anymore since they had "unplugged" her, but honestly, she found she didn't really care all that much. She laid back down without further protest and felt Eve pat her thigh. "Thank you. Since you're being so good, I think I'll even let you have some ice cream. How does that sound?" Matilda shook her head. She didn't want any ice cream. She just wanted today to never have happened.

"You really are feeling out of sorts." Eve said as she taped the diaper in place. She offered her a hand up before helping her into an over sized T-shirt. "Come get me if you need to go potty, and I'll pin it back up when you're done, just like last time. Now let's get you to the couch, I'd let you stay here, but I'd like to keep a closer eye on you. Something's off." Matilda hung on to her neck as Eve picked her up. "It's going to be okay, really." Eve whispered. Matilda felt her eyes begin to water again. Why did she always cry when people told her that? "Shh, shh, no more tears."

"Sorry," Hortensia said once she was set down on the couch and Eve had left. "Please don't be angry." Matilda could tell she was scared. She shook her head. She didn't have anything to be scared of. Matilda couldn't blow anything up right now even if she wanted to. "Please don't break the telly." Of course, she'd be worried about that. She wanted to tell her she wasn't angry, but every time she tried, the words kept getting stuck in her throat, so she just gave up and shook her head again.

Hortensia frowned and stared at her more closely. "MA!" she yelled. "Did you drug her?!" Eve came back from the kitchen.

"No! I did not drug her!"

"Then why is she acting like a zombie?"

"Then maybe they gave her a Benadryl to calm her down or something. I offered her ice cream, but she didn't even want any." Hortensia stared at her and gave her a look as if she was deeply offended before letting out a deep sigh.

"I guess I have no choice, Ma, I'll have to eat it for her." Hortensia said.

"The hell you will!" Eve stopped and stared at her for a minute before a smirk appeared on her face. "Actually, sure Tens', you can have some ice cream." Hortensia perked up.

"Really?"

"Of course, all you have to do is let me put you in a diaper for the evening." Hortensia's shoulders slumped, and she made a disgusted sound.

"Tease," she grumbled under her breath. "And don't you even think of egging her on!" she added to Matilda, but Matilda had already curled herself into a ball and shut her eyes, burying her face into her folded arms so no one could see her cry. All it took was another ten minutes before the sounds of the television she so despised were completely gone.

The next thing Matilda knew she was being shaken awake. "Sweetheart, it's time for dinner." A voice said softly in her ear. Matilda slowly lifted her head, feeling even more disoriented and unaware of her surrounding than before. She wiped at her mouth with the back of her hand, vaguely aware she had been drooling. How long had she been asleep? She craned her neck and stared out the window. It was dark out now.

"Wow, good job! You're dry even after that long nap. I'm impressed." Eve said in a high falsetto used exclusively for very young children. Matilda struggled to focus her eyes until the three Eves that were holding up her shirt and peeking at her waist became one.

"MA!" Hortensia yelled from the kitchen. "Cut it out, she's in my year! It's weird."

"You don't mind, do you?" Eve asked her without waiting for a reply. Matilda had planned on telling her she wasn't hungry and going back to sleep, but Eve had scooped her off the couch as if she was a rag doll. If her mind had been working, she would have thought Eve was rather enjoying her current state, but the only thing going through Matilda's mind at the moment was relief that she didn't have to walk.

"You can tell her to stop." Hortensia whispered to her once she was set down in a chair at the table. "She's treating you like the toddler next door." Matilda shrugged and closed her eyes. "Dude, what's with you? You'd be loosing your shit right now." She'd rather this than someone else be angry with her. The thought made her heart ache. She touched the place Jennifer had touched, her spirit. Is this what she had meant about her spirit breaking? If she explained she hadn't meant to kill her aunt and apologized, could they ever go back to the way they were?

"What have I told you about swearing?" Eve said with a scowl.

"What? You cuss all the time! Just this morning you burned yourself and was all F-"

"Little ears are present." Eve said, cutting her off.

If she thought Hortensia swore too much, she'd have an aneurysm if she spent a single afternoon with Harry down at the shop. It's not like she caved easily to peer pressure either, although there was the time Hortensia had bet Matilda her pudding if she could say at least 15 cuss words in thirty seconds. It had been a delicious pudding and Hortensia had walked away with the knowledge of how to say "fuck off" in three new languages.

She wrote one of them now on the condensation of a glass of water that had been set in front of her and showed Hortensia, who snickered. Matilda brushed the glass with her fingers and wiped away the words. She doubted Eve spoke any German, but just in case. She preferred Eve thinking it was her daughter that was the bad influence instead of the other way around. If she had even the slightest inkling of how much Matilda knew about the things Miss Honey said she had "no business knowing about" Eve would be trying to convince Jennifer to ship her off to a reform school in Antarctica or something.

Matilda felt another twinge of regret. Would Jennifer get rid of her? That look of utter disgust ran through her mind one more time. There was no love in those eyes, only revulsion. Maybe she could convince Jenny when the time came to send her to boarding school in Switzerland instead of Antarctica, where her only friends might be penguins.

"Do you want me to cut up your pork chop for you?" Eve asked before looking away and dicing the meat before Matilda could respond. Yes, she supposed "Pork chop" would be a cute name for her future waddling friend. She imagined trying to sneak it in to her dorm room without anyone noticing. Maybe it would even let her hold him at night like a big stuffed animal to keep warm.

Matilda gritted her teeth when she looked down at the food set in front of her. She had let her imagination get away from her and now when she looked down at the cut up meat all she could see was diced penguin. Now she felt sad all over again. She really did ruin all her relationships, both real and imaginary.

"Are you not hungry?" Eve asked her. Matilda shook her head. She hadn't been hungry even before imagining the life, and death, of her made up companion. There was a lump in her throat that made swallowing difficult. Just the thought of trying to force solids down made her feel like she was choking. "Well I want you to try." Eve said. "I don't want your mom thinking I didn't feed you while you were here. She thinks I was too harsh with you last time, and I'd rather not make her angry again."

So that explains why she had gone from one extreme to the other. Eve wasn't coddling her because she was upset, she was doing it because she was afraid of Miss Honey's wrath.

Matilda looked over at Hortensia and blinked in surprise. She had only gotten her plate of food three minutes ago, and it was already nearly gone. Watching Hortensia eat never ceased to amaze her. She was like a squirrel stuffing her face with acorns, but a more accurate description to Matilda was a leviathan sea monster or some other Lovecraftian being chowing down on…penguins. What was with her and penguins tonight?

"What's that look for?" Hortensia asked.

"She must be disgusted at your table manners." Eve said in a teasing tone. "You eat like you'll never see food again. Slow down, and you might even be able to taste it."

Matilda had been wishing they had a dog, so she could sneak it bits of food, but who needed a dog when you had Hortensia. She clapped her hands together in a silent prayer and mouthed please help before pointing at her plate.

"What, you don't like it?" Hortensia asked out loud, drawing Eve's attention. Matilda wanted to smack her, Hortensia really had no sense of her surroundings.

"Matilda, I hope you don't think I'm dumb enough not to see what you're trying to do." Eve said. Matilda quickly shook her head. She could hear a bit of Eve's customary sharpness underneath the fictitious warmth. "Good, because I had really hoped we could continue on this path of good behavior."

Matilda nodded and stared at her plate of food, which at the moment, seemed as appealing to her as if it really was diced penguin. She picked up her fork before piercing one of the pieces of meat, only to end up dropping it with a loud clang as it landed against the porcelain plate. Matilda cringed as she hastened to pick it up. The last thing she wanted was Eve to think she was stalling.

When she finally got it into her mouth, it really wasn't bad, but when it came time to swallow, it was as she feared. The lump in her throat refused to let anything go down. No matter how much she chewed, her subconscious wasn't sending the message to the rest of her body to do its job. She reached for a napkin and tried to spit it out as subtly as possible, but Eve wasn't having it.

"Swallow it, chewing isn't the same as eating." Matilda took a deep breath through her nose and forced herself to swallow. "Four more pieces, and if you really don't want anymore after that, I won't force you."

Matilda looked down at her plate, then back to Eve. She tried giving her the universal choking sign, but Eve just sighed.

"I know you're upset, sweetie, but let's try and be a big girl and use your words now." Matilda violently shook her head and crossed her hands over her throat again, only to realize it wasn't getting her anywhere. She looked desperately to Hortensia. Wouldn't someone realize what was happening? She was running out of air!

"Ma, I think she's choking!" Hortensia said. Matilda nodded and clawed at her neck. It hadn't gone down all the way, it had only managed to get halfway before lodging itself in her throat. She tried coughing, but couldn't get enough air to force it back out.

"Water! Drink some water!" Eve said thrusting the glass into Matilda's hands. Matilda tried to swallow a mouthful, only for it to immediately come back up and out. "Try again!" She repeated the process, only for the same thing to keep happening. She was beginning to panic now.

Matilda jumped to her feet, unsure of what to do. The next thing she knew, she felt herself being lifted into the air as hands forced themselves right below her ribs and began thrusting over and over. Five times, six times, seven times. Just when she thought she couldn't take anymore, on the eighth thrust, she felt the piece of meat dislodge itself. It flew from her mouth and onto the floor where Matilda collapsed next to it, panting and gasping for air.

Eve stared in shock, not at Matilda, but at Hortensia.

"And no one thinks I pay attention in class." Hortensia said.

"I think you just earned your ice cream." Eve said.

Jennifer sat in silence in her hospital bed in the emergency room counting the ceiling tiles for the fifth time - there were 128 of them. Mrs. Rodger's, Carol she kept reminding her, had been sitting next to her in a chair the entire time.

"Jen," Mrs. Rodger's said, breaking the hour-long silence. "What happened?" Jennifer's eyes met hers, before hastily darting away.

"I don't know." She mumbled.

"Why did you push Matilda away like that? That wasn't like you."

"Is she okay?" Jennifer asked, slowly meeting her eyes.

"Physically, yes, but if I'm being honest, I don't think I've ever seen her so upset." Jennifer groaned and hid her face in her hands. Here she had made this big speech about not wanting to hurt her and less than five minutes later Matilda was pulling out her safe word. "Talk to me, Jen. What happened?"

Jennifer let out a deep sigh. "I had a flashback. I have them sometimes, but this was so," she paused, trying to come up with the best way to describe it before finally settling on, "vivid." She glanced up at Mrs. Rodger's, who sat patiently waiting for her to continue. "I was looking in the mirror at my childhood self. It was a memory from the night she finally convinced me to reciprocate-"

"Coerced." Mrs. Rodger's interjected. "You do not 'convince' a child, you 'coerce' them. Do you understand the difference?" Jennifer bit her lip before nodding. "No matter what she got you to say or do, you didn't consent. This wasn't your fault."

Jennifer nodded again before continuing, "Afterwards, I washed my hands until patches of skin peeled off. When I still didn't feel clean, I burned them with hydrogen peroxide." Mrs. Rodger's winced. Jennifer let out a dry, humorless laugh. "I remember when I was very little, I scraped my knee and my father poured some on it. He told me the stinging means it's cleaning."

"Was this memory, this flashback, what made you ill?" Jennifer slowly shook her head. "What then? What you described sounds awful enough."

"You'll think I'm crazy." Jennifer mumbled, feeling the sting of tears. "And it's not very appropriate, it's not like I can tell Matilda even though it involves her. I know she wants to know these things, but she's only five, and it's not like I have anyone else to really talk to." She felt Mrs Rodger's grab her hand and gently squeeze.

"You have me, and guess what? I'm not five." Jennifer sniffled and gave her a weak smile.

"If you're sure."

"I am."

"Why have you been so kind to me?" Jennifer asked. "You've taught me to drive, you've taken me all over town, you invited us over for Christmas, you've stayed in the hospital with Matilda, you're sitting in the hospital with me now…"

"Well, why were you so kind to Matilda?" Mrs. Rodger's asked. "You were only her teacher, you didn't have to get so involved."

"How could I not? She's the most amazing, sensitive, intelligent child I've ever met, but when I looked into her eyes, all I could see was this lonely little girl who needed someone to step up and show her she wasn't alone." Jennifer felt her hand get squeezed again. She looked up.

"Matilda's not the only lonely, little girl I see. I think it's pastime someone showed you you're not alone either."