Disclaimer: I do not own My Hero Academia. I am planning a heist to steal the rights though.


Mastermind cracked his neck. The second part of the third round "Okay, guess it's go time!"

Inkblot grinned. "Finally! Feels like we've been waiting for weeks to get this thing going!"

Bushijima shifted. Underneath his suit, the body armour he wore clanked briefly as it settled, helping fill the large orange trench coat. "We're not going to hurt anybody there?"

Mastermind shook his head. "Hopefully not. I mean, that's why we're the League of Supervillains - the branding is enough to stop people fighting. And now that we're B-rank Villains, people will be even less likely to want to fight!"

Bushijima nodded. "This is… the first time I'm going out. Were you-"

"Nervous? Oh, yes. I made a bunch of mistakes." Mastermind patted Bushijima on the shoulder. "Don't worry! Just go out there, make some dramatic statements and follow the plan as closely as possible!"

The rest of the League made similar supportive statements. Mastermind checked over everybody. "Alright, has everybody used the bathroom? Because we won't exactly be in a position to go on the heist."

Present Mic grinned, taking a swig of water. "Phew~! Commentating really takes it out of ya!"

"Stop screaming then."

"Never!" He turned back to the stage, where Cementoss was painstakingly rebuilding the arena. "Man, can you believe how many times we've had to remake this whole arena? Were we ever this bad when we were their age?"

Eraserhead sighed. "No, I don't think we were."

"Man, you remember when Shirokumo managed to persuade the girls in class to dress as cheerleaders?"

For a moment, Eraserhead's gaze turned melancholy. "Vaguely."

Present Mic smiled wistfully. "Good times." He blinked as Cementoss gestured to the newly completed arena. "Woops, guess it's go time!"

Eraserhead sat up straighter. He was totally unbiased in this match. Nevertheless, he expected Shinsou to make a good showing.

"OKAY, AUDIENCE! WE'VE FIXED THE ARENA AND WE'RE READY AND WAITING FOR ACTION! YOU READY FOR MORE FIGHTS?!"

The crowd screamed its approval. Hitoshi stretched, waiting for the fight to start. He didn't have much idea of what to expect of Mineta, so he'd been thinking of a couple of good jokes to get the smaller boy.

"ENTERING THE RING NOW, HE'S GOT BAD JOKES AND A MEAN RIGHT HOOK TO MATCH! LOOKING ALMOST AS TIRED AS MY BEST BUDDY, GIVE IT UP FOR… SHINSOU HITOSHI OF 1-A!"

Htoshi grinned, staring out at a roaring crowd. If you'd told him last year that he would be here, in front of all these people, he would have called you mad. He stretched, ready to fight his opponent.

"AND HIS OPPONENT IS NO SLOUCH EITHER! HE MAY BE SHORT, BUT HE'S FEISTY! STICKING IT TO THE COMPETITION WITH HIS STICKY BALLS, IT'S NONE OTHER THAN… MINETA MINORU!"

Mineta came up on the stage, a slightly nervous look on his face. Hitoshi cracked his knuckles. The shorter boy was pretty strong, and had a frustrating Quirk to deal with. Getting stuck on one of those balls would mean he would be out of the competition.

Well, he wasn't going to get stuck on one of them.

"IT'S PURPLE VERSUS PURPLE! WHO WILL COME OUT ON TOP?!"

As soon as the match began, Minoru leaped into the air, pulling off a ball from his head. He spiked it at Shinsou, who barely dodged the projectile as it screamed past his face. Minoru landed, then barely blocked a punch from his opponent.

"Hey, what did the green grape say to the purple one?"

Minoru managed to dart back as Shinsou lashed out with a kick. Another ball was flung at his opponent, who swayed out of the way. "Breathe, damnit!"

That was bad.

Still, Minoru wasn't going to go down easily. Shinsou's Quirk required a response, so Shinsou kept throwing out truly awful jokes. Normally, Minoru would be groaning in agony from the pain these jokes were causing him, but after the suffering he'd put himself through, there was no way.

So he pegged a ball at Shinsou, the taller teen easily dodging. Minoru took the chance to get in close, unleashing a flurry of punches. Shinsou blocked and countered, then managed to land a kick on Minoru's chest, sending him hurtling back. "Shouldn't you be singing a song or something? Do a whole 'Oompa Loompa' routine?"

Minoru sent Shinsou a tired look. Like he hadn't been called that before. Shinsou grinned, jabbing at Minoru, kept at bay by hurled balls. "Say, you heard about the health benefits of eating dried grapes?"

He grinned, trying to kick Minoru in the face. "Just raisin awareness."

Minoru's eye twitched. His hands went to his head, and he tore a bunch of balls off, lobbing them at Shinsou. Shinsou swayed around the balls easily, dodging the inconvenient projectiles.

Just as Minoru had intended.

Hitoshi blinked. "Uh… you're kind of missing me here." Indeed, it seemed as if Mineta was throwing his balls around with no care as to where they went or how they landed.

Mineta didn't answer. Hitoshi immediately charged straight at Minoru, not even bothering to make a joke. Something was definitely off with this whole situation. He had to take Mineta out-!

Mineta held his fingers to his temples. Suddenly, a ball that was on the ground tore itself away, smacking into Hitoshi's arm and sending him off balance.

"WHAT! MINETA'S HAIRBALL JUST MOVED ON ITS OWN! WHAT AN UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT!"

Hitoshi grit his teeth, trying to knock Mineta out of the ring. "Have to say, love the conversation we're having. What you're saying is really sticking to me."

Another purple ball came up from behind, and now Hitoshi was in trouble. They kept coming, seemingly spent ammunition coming back as the shorter boy ducked and weaved around his attacks. Another ball stuck to his leg, then another one on his arm. The unpleasant sticky texture coupled with a small amount of weight kept throwing his movements off.

And with his movements off, there was only one conclusion.

"WOWEE! MINETA'S COVERED HIS OPPONENT IN HIS STICKY BALLS!"

"That is an unexpected development of Mineta's Quirk. Certainly we did not see this ability in his entrance exam for Heroics."

Minoru panted, staring at his opponent. He'd had to cover him in more of Pop Off's balls, sticking him to the ground. Shinsou struggled, then sighed. "I can't move," he stated calmly.

Midnight cracked her whip. "Mineta, on to the next round!"

As the audience cheered, Minoru concentrated, causing the balls to roll off Shinsou. "Holy shit, Shinsou. You nearly got me so many times!"

Shinsou simply grinned. "Surprisingly good fight, Mineta."

Minoru returned it. "Same! I mean, that Quirk should let you get any girl you want-"

Groaning, he did a push-up. Shinsou stared at him, then shrugged. "Not interested in that. I want to be a Hero, after all."

Minoru nodded. "Yeah, that was a dumb thought."

Shinsou walked off stage. "Congratulations, Mineta. Though I have to wonder, how did you find you could do that with your balls?"

Minoru froze. "Aheh, well…"

About three days ago…

Minoru woke up sweating. Ever since he'd started this No-Nut challenge, he'd been waking up with the intense desire to break his vow. He'd turned his posters around, put his stack of hentai magazines away from easy reach and kept his computer far away from himself.

Just a few more days. Get into the Hero course and don't fail the challenge. How hard could it be?

After getting ready for school, he checked his emails. One particular email from an adult magazine he subscribed to caught his attention. Opening it, his eyes bulged.

Congratulations, loyal subscriber! You've entered in our raffle, and won the prize - the chance to judge a wet T-shirt contest with our models! This is thanks to your tireless devotion to our girls, so you may have to get up close and personal-

Minoru shuddered, barely managing to close it. The train ride up to U.A was frustrating as well, with more emails coming up on his phone.

Big Boobed Schoolgirl is getting a Second Season! In this thrilling instalment, we have a transfer student with even bigger honkabadonkadoos! How will Big Boobed Schoolgirl-

Growling, Minoru flicked to his next email.

Ryuku modelling on camera for the first time! Catch this extraordinary heroine as she models bikinis in both human and dragon form!

Minoru snapped his phone shut, gripping his bag. School would be better!

Midnight grinned at Minoru, looking over his work. "Great job, Mineta! You really have an eye for this."

Minoru shrugged, not wanting to admit that he had gotten so good at art because he wanted to draw lewd images. Midnight grinned. "In fact… since you've been an exceptional student, there is a more interesting class that you might be interested in."

Minoru looked up. "W-what class? He squeaked.

"Nude modelling, of course." Midnight grinned. "With yours truly, of course!"

Minoru's face fell. His traitorous hands twitched convulsively.

Why, god? Why NOW?!

"But… that's… that's not fair…"

She blinked. "Why not? If there's anything I can help you with-"

Minoru stared at Midnight, then at his easel. He burst into tears.

Midnight's eyes widened, then she quickly pulled out a note. "Mineta, you need to go to Recovery Girl now."

Minoru paused. "Huh?"

"You're crying blood!"

After getting checked up by Recovery Girl, and assuring her that there was nothing wrong with him Minoru managed to get through the rest of his classes. After doing another set of pushups to try to curb his urges he managed to stagger home.

A large box greeted him. He blinked up at the delivery guy. "Uh-"

"Here ya go, kid. Your National Geographic books have appeared."

Minoru stared at them. "I…" Screaming, he ran into his room and slammed the door shut. Sweat beaded on his brow as he saw his computer in front of him. "No…" he whimpered.

The stress was getting to him, his brain and body demanding he do something about the pressure. He wrestled his clutching hand up to his head and tore a ball off, gripping it violently as he tried to get on top of it. Minoru tried to think unerotic thoughts but they kept coming into his head. Maybe watching HeroTube would-

Oh, my computer has defaulted to a porn site. Great.

He gripped another ball on his head tightly, trying to distract himself like that. But the urges kept coming. It built up inside, Minoru trying to push his mounting frustration and physical urges into the balls by squeezing them until…

Minoru blinked. Something felt different with his balls. Just a subtle change, but it was there. Trying to distract himself, he threw it against a wall, watching it stick in placel. He stared at it, but nothing happened.

Shrugging, he gave a dismissive flick of his hand.

The ball moved. 'Minoru's eyes bulged. "What the fuck-"

Mineta shrugged, looking away. "...Just… figured it out."

Hitoshi stared at him, then shrugged. The guy was a weirdo, but that trick had been pretty dangerous. "Well, if you're getting into the hero course I guess I'll see you there."

Present Mic nudged his friend in the elbow. "Damn, Shinsou didn't win. Kind of a shame, he did pretty well out there!"

Eraserhead grunted. "...If he had his Support gear the fight would go differently."

Resent Mic thought about teasing his best friend, then reconsidered. "OKAY, LISTENERS! AFTER THE PURPLE MATCH OF THE CENTURY, IT'S TIME FOR THE NEXT ROUND! IT'S WEIRD, BUT THE THEME OF THIS MATCH SEEMS TO BE GEAR VERSUS GEAR, PREMADE VERSUS DONE ON THE SPOT! COMING IN FIRST IS THE PINK-HAIRED WILDCARD FROM THE SUPPORT DEPARTMENT, HATSUME MEI!"

Hatsume took to the stage, mechanical arms waving to the crowd. One business student seemed to be selling Hatsume merchandise, probably made by the girl on request. Power Loader sat in his seat, a defeated look crossing his face.

Present Mic couldn't blame him. Hatsume looked like a handful. "AND COMING UP NOW, THE GIRL WHO'S MADE A GREAT SHOW IN THIS TOURNAMENT! INTELLIGENT AND PROFICIENT IN HAND TO HAND COMBAT, IT'S THE GRACEFUL, ELEGANT YAOYOROZU MOMO!"

Mei grinned maniacally as the taller girl came on stage, a calculating look in her eyes. She'd seen Yaoyorozu's Quirk in action in her previous match, and she wanted it. Yaoyorozu bowed politely. "Let's have a fair match, Hatsume."

Mei cackled. "Sure! But I want to show off all my babies! Kami-whatever didn't last very long!"

"BEGIN!"

Yaoyorozu immediately created a staff, swinging it at Mei. In response, Mei's older baby shot out, pushing her out of the way of Yaoyorozu's attack. "DId you see the quick response time? These hydraulic arm bars allow its user to quickly dodge attacks with minimal difficulty!"

In response to that, Yaoyorozu pulled out what looked like a taser gun. Mei's eyes glittered even as she narrowly dodged the electrified darts. Izuku was right - Creation was a fascinating Quirk! "I love that you can make your own babies on the fly!"

She blinked at Mei, puzzled. "What-"

"Too bad I have to show off my other babies though! Keep up the pressure!" Mei pulled out her Net Master, new and improved, and launched a net at the other girl, introducing her net guns' features in the process. Yaoyorozu dodged, already pulling a flashbang out from her midriff.

Mei tapped her goggles as it went off, grinning. "An amazing move from Yaoyorozu! A flashbang is normally enough to debilitate any opponent! However, I'm fine, thanks to my Combination Sonic Dampening Headphones and Glare-Goggles! I use these Babies when in the lab, and I haven't lost any hearing as a result!"

Yaoyorozu rolled, trying to strike with a new staff. Mei's eyes glittered when she saw the end sparking with electricity. "Oh? A taser-staff? What gave you the idea for that?"

"Oh, it's not much, really - I just applied the concept-"

Mei's grin turned warmer. Always nice to interact with somebody who had a functioning brain. "You're good! I'm so jealous of your baby-making ability!"

Yaoyorozu tried to lunge at her, but Mei unfortunately had to cut it short. Her arm snaked out, snapping the baby like a twig. Yaoyorozu tried to make another staff, but Mei pinned her down. "I hate to demonstrate the same baby twice like this, but I want to make it to the very top!"

Yaoyorozu's skin sparked, and Mei had to gently crush the cannon she was making. "Sorry, Yaoyorozu. I don't say this lightly, but you're amazing!"

The dark-haired girl struggled, but finally had to concede. Mei pulled her up, grinning. "Say, do you want my Support contract? I'll build you any gear you want, or maybe give you the blueprints. Just so long as you sign this eternal declaration of hatred against Mastermind!"

Yaoyorozu gave her a hesitant stare as Mei waved the papers in her face. But for Mei, there could be no hesitating when it came to babies or dealing with Mastermind.

In the stands, Izuku sneezed.

On the job, Mastermind suddenly sneezed. Inkblot looked over at him, concerned. "Are you alright?"

"I just got the feeling somebody was talking about me…" he muttered.

Next to them, Gentle Criminal and Mr. Compress shrugged. "Maybe they're saying something nice about you?"

Mastermind cracked his knuckles. He may not have been the original, but he was going to knock this out of the park. "La Brava, what's the chatter like?"

"Good for us, it seems. The Heroes are focusing on tracking down the Hero Killer or patrolling the streets. We won't have much response."

Mastermind grimaced. "Great… the Hero Killer."

Gentle nodded grimly. "I have to agree. It's disappointing that people think that he is somebody to respect."

Mastermind nodded, gesturing pointedly. "I mean, he just kills people! Hell, he kills Heroes, people who are supposed to help!"

La Brava clicked her tongue, the sound of keys clacking indicating she was breaking into the insurance company. "Sure, I don't like the sound of him, but we have a job to do."

Mastermind nodded. 'Yep. We can bitch about the Hero Killer later."

As Yaoyorozu left the stage, a bemused expression on her face accompanied by a stack of papers, Midoriya Izuku was currently fretting. "Okay, so I made it past the first stage… but that's fine! Melissa's my opponent and friend, so that's, uh, also good! She's really strong!"

He looked down at the Sonic Paralyzer. "At least you're broken now." The Sonic Paralyzer needed certain parts repaired after he'd clocked it to its highest setting without properly warming it up. He still had to demonstrate his Mirko Long Fall Boots properly, as well as the Wash cannon.

Izuku tried not to think the dreaded words, 'nothing can go wrong!' But they crept into his brain anyway. Still, at least the job wouldn't have any complications. At least, no more than usual.

Stain's Journal

Hosu stinks of False Heroes and corruption. It is a stench I am perpetually familiar with.

This corrupt society is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. Corporate whores pretending to be Heroes walk the streets, treating Heroism like it's some sort of game. True Heroes are a dying breed, replaced or removed by the foul Heroic Public Safety Committee.

And madmen like Mastermind run free. The False Heroes cry and wallow in their weakness, shown back at them by a laughing fool. Amusing, to see Heroes emerge to try and stop him. Funny to see the HPSC's panic in the face of some Villain who shows the world that their false Heroes are just that.

But there is only one Hero who can be allowed to capture me. To kill me. To wrap his immaculate, mighty hands around my throat and choke the life out of me/ And that is All Might.

His beautiful cerulean orbs/ His watchful gaze over Japan is enough to stop them from pursuing their foul ideas. But always, there are False Heroes, perverting true justice and the ideal society that could be there.

They had a choice. All of them. They could follow in the footsteps of All Might, hold to Heroism as it should be. But instead they followed the droppings of lechers and money and didn't realise that this trail led over a precipice until it was too late. Don't tell me they didn't have a choice.

Today… I eliminate a False Hero. Ingenium will die for turning Heroism into such a mundane thing as a family business. For accepting a sponsorship from an orange juice company - what true Hero needs money?

In the alleyway, Stain smirked. The bait was set. He'd deliberately leaked his location to Ingenium. The False Hero, acting as a scout, would find him here, in this alleyway. And then another False hero would be eliminated.

For the sake of a better society.


An: Going somewhat shorter since we had some mega chapters. Okay! So things are going to heat up! Mineta has awoken his Quirk through pain and suffering. Mei is talking to more of Class 1-A! And things can't possibly go wrong for anybody no not at all.

Some of Stain's comments should have a strike through but Fanfiction is stupid about that. These are marked with a weird slash.

Next time, we're going to see Izuku and Melissa, and hopefully we'll see some more of the Heist! Who will win? What will happen on the Heist?!

So many questions, but not enough time!