Well, this started as a sexy one-shot, turned into a gleeful evisceration of all the shitty men I've ever met, and now we are going down a rather dark tunnel. Sorry, this was supposed to be a fluffy chapter...


Chapter 4

"Lili?" Trouble stuck his head around his office door. "Are you busy? Can I take you for lunch?"

Spinning around in her chair, Lili raised an eyebrow. "I thought we decided we weren't going to work out."

"Not like that." The blood rose slightly in Trouble's cheeks. "As friends. Colleagues. I want to talk to you about something. Ask your advice."

"Oooh," Lili clapped her hands. "Are you seeing someone? Do you need help choosing a venue? How did I not know about this?"

"No, no. It's not that either." He smiled now. "Trust me, you'd be the first to know if I was. You know I'm shite at planning dates. I'd be on my knees begging for help, if it was that."

"As you should be," she agreed. "Because you are really shite at dates."

"All right, well, you don't need to agree quite so heartily."

She chuckled, but didn't take it back.

Trouble took her to a cafe around the corner. This intrigued her. She'd expected him just to take her to the canteen and then bore her with scheduling issues. But, as they waited for their sandwiches, she realised he had something much more serious on his mind. He kept clasping and unclasping his hands, toying with the packets of salt when his fingers weren't interlaced.

"Trouble, I'm going to smack that salt onto the floor in another second. What's going on?" Struck by a sudden thought, she grimaced. "Frond, you're not going to propose, are you?"

This made him laugh, as she'd hoped. "No," he shook his head. "I know what the answer to that would be."

"Good," Lili nodded.

"It's…" he rubbed a hand over his face. "It's the guys at work."

She blinked.

"They're shits," he said.

"Yes," she agreed cautiously, "they are."

"And I always thought you—that you—" he cleared his throat. "The other day, I realised that I've been making a lot of assumptions."

Lili sat very still.

"I'm sorry, Lili," said Trouble. "I want to make things better for you, but I'm not sure how. I…I thought maybe you might have some thoughts."

"Did Holly talk to you?" she asked finally.

"No," said Trouble. "Or, well, I mean, she said what she said that day by the elevator. But, since then, I've been paying more attention and…I don't feel great about what I've seen."

"Well," Lili shrugged, "you could start by just telling them to stop whenever they get going."

Trouble made a face. It was a very obvious suggestion.

"They don't listen to me, of course. And they don't listen to Holly because she's a woman too, and on top of that they think she's nuts. But you're a guy. They look up to you. They want to be you, really. So if you tell them to stop—if you make it clear that you won't tolerate that kind of behaviour—they might actually listen. Plus," she shrugged, "you've got nothing to lose. You're their literal boss."

She didn't say it and never would, but the way she said what she said made Trouble Kelp, bravest and most beloved of all LEP officers, feel like a coward.


While Lili was out with Trouble, Holly had lunch with Foaly. She had decided to finally bite the bullet and tell him about their relationship. Unfortunately, she hadn't really thought through her delivery beforehand.

"SIX MONTHS?!"

Holly winced. "Foaly, I can—"

"And you didn't tell me? Me?! Who once cloned a mud man for you? Me, your best and oldest friend?!" Foaly stamped his feet on the ground, sending his wheely chair into a highly dangerous spin for such a cramped office.

"Well," Holly grabbed the arm of the chair before Foaly crashed into a computer bank, "we wanted to see how it went. We weren't sure if it would last—"

"I wonder why?!"

"But actually," Holly raised her voice to speak over him, "I'm feeling really good about it."

"You're feeling really good about dating Lili Frond?"

Holly blew out her cheeks. "See? This is why I didn't tell you. I knew you'd overreact. Even Artemis took it better than this."

"You told Artemis before you told me?"

Holly grimaced. She'd walked right into that one.


"Want to come over for dinner?" Holly plopped into the chair next to Lili's desk. Arching her back, she stretched and heard several things pop. It had been a long day. But there was no one about, so she allowed herself to hook a foot around Lili's ankle, as a treat.

The other elf smiled at the email she was typing. "Like, over to your house?"

"Yeah, like over to my house. Well, my flat."

"You're actually inviting me over?" Lili hit send and turned to face Holly, opening her eyes very wide.

Holly frowned. "Why are you being strange about this?"

"Oh I don't know," Lili waved a manicured hand. "It's only been eight months and I've never even set foot in your home. Maybe that's why?

"Yeah, but why would we go to mine when yours is so nice?" Holly shrugged. "It's like choosing to eat crappy take out when you could eat literally anything else."

"I like crappy take out," said Lili.

Holly smiled. "Only when you're drunk."

"Well, I'm sure I'll like your apartment when sober. Or," she perked up, "are you planning on plying me with liquor and taking advantage of my virtue?"

"I think that's more your style, to be honest, but I can give it a try if you'd like." Holly's mismatched eyes grew dark.

Lili chuckled and was very tempted to climb into Holly's lap right then and there. She didn't. The hallway was empty, but not that empty.

Joking aside, the closer they got to Holly's apartment, the more uncomfortable Holly became. "It's not…it's really not that nice," she warned Lili for the umpteenth time since they'd left the office. "Maybe we should just go to yours."

"Please," Lili snaked an arm through Holly's. "It's where you live. I want to see it."

"I mean," Holly shrugged. "I really don't spend that much time there. Between work and you and visiting the surface…"

"It's true, when am I going to get to meet Artemis and Butler properly?"

"We're here," Holly dodged. The idea of Lili and Artemis in the same room made her feel a lot of things, and she was in no mood to dissect any of them.

Holly's flat was on the top floor of a shabby four floor walk-up. But it had a view of the street, not the tip in the back alley, and she was fond of it, in her own way. They'd been together for decades now, after all.

Holding the door open for Lili, Holly cast her eyes around the room, suddenly noticing all the imperfections she usually didn't see. She blew out her cheeks. Too late to change anything now.

"Well, I don't know why you're losing it. This is nice," said Lili, kicking off her shoes and wandering around as much as she could in a one room apartment.

"It's…I started renting it when I was a cadet," Holly tossed her keys on the shelf by the door. "It was all I could afford when my mom died and I just…" she shrugged. "I never bothered to move."

Halfway through inspecting the line of cactuses growing on the window sill, Lili stopped and straightened. "Your mom died when we were cadets?"

Holly nodded and made herself look busy by taking off her boots.

"I didn't know that," Lili said softly.

Holly shrugged again. "It was a long time ago."

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine. Just…money was really tight after. There wasn't much to inherit. So this is what I ended up with," she gestured at the cramped room.

"And your dad?"

"Oh," Holly laughed wryly. "He's been gone since I was a kid."

"What a knob."

"Yeah, he was kind of, actually."

Leaving the cactuses, Lili came and looped her arms around Holly's neck. "So are you going to give me the grand tour?"

Holly raised an eyebrow. "Well, this is the living room. And this," she turned Lili around to face the futon, "is the bedroom. And that," she turned her again to face the small kitchenette, "is the kitchen. And through there," she pointed at the narrow door next to the toaster oven, "is the bathroom. Though," she held up one finger, "the bathroom does have a window."

"Ooh," said Lili, nestling into Holly's shoulder. "What's the view of?"

"The bus stop across the street," Holly deadpanned.

"Great people watching. Also, and I'm not just saying this because I'm about to try to convince you to have sex on every surface in here, I really like this colour," Lili pointed to the walls, which were a rich green.

Holly chuckled. "Thanks. I redid them when we got back from Hybras. I needed something to focus on that wasn't the three years I'd just missed."

"Ooh, did you put on coveralls? You would be adorable in coveralls. And all covered in paint splatters," Lili's eyes got decidedly misty. She didn't want to talk about those three years. She'd thought she'd got over it at about year two, then, halfway through year three, realised actually she hadn't, she was just dating other women who treated her badly. It was not a time in her life she was particularly proud of.

"I think you are possibly the only person above or below the earth who thinks the word adorable should share a sentence with me," Holly replied dryly.

"I've said it before, and I'll say it again: other people are idiots," Lili shrugged. "Now, about that plan I mentioned…"

"There aren't exactly a lot of surfaces to choose from, I'm afraid."

"Don't be so negative," said Lili. "There's the futon, the coffee table, the kitchen counter, the—where is the dining table, actually?"

"It's the coffee table."

"Well, we can just do it there twice then. And let us not forget the floor! Plus those bookshelves look pretty solid. And we'll definitely have to do it against one of the windows so we can shock your neighbours. A little excitement would be good for them, I'm sure. And I don't see what's so funny, this is very serious, Holly." But Lili was smiling as she watched Holly laugh. And Holly was so busy laughing that she forgot her apartment was small and cramped and old and smelled faintly of fried onions. Which, of course, is exactly what Lili had wanted her to do.

"Okay," Lili kicked off her shoes and skipped across to the futon. Hopping up next to Holly, she splayed herself across the other woman's lap. "I have a favour to ask."

"Hullo to you too," Holly laid aside her ereader.

Lili waved a hand. "You hate small talk. Also, it's a big favour, and I need to ask before I chicken out."

Holly gestured for her to continue.

"Would you mind—" Lili wriggled a little so that she could undo the zip of her pencil skirt "—coming to a family thing with me next weekend?"

Holly watched as Lili squirmed out of her skirt and tossed it on the floor with a huff of relief. Raising an eyebrow, she waved a hand at Lili's pelvis. "Was that part of the ask? Are you trying to bribe me into saying yes?"

Lili frowned down at her underwear. "Wha—oh. No, it was just really uncomfortable. But if it'll make you agree, I can keep going." She put one hand to the buttons of her blouse.

Holly laughed. "Of course I'll come, if you want me too."

"Darling, I always want you to come," Lili replied, opening her eyes very wide. Holly snorted.

"But yes," Lili pressed her cheek to Holly's bare stomach. "I also really do want you to attend this thing. And now that you've said yes, I can reveal to you that it will be horrible and you will hate everything about it. However, if you want to break up with me over it, please wait at least two weeks because I'll already be extremely depressed from having had to go. Just let me recover from that first, will you?"

"Come on. It can't be that bad, can it? I mean, worse than LEP ceremonies?"

"Oh, sweet innocent child," Lili reached up and patted Holly's cheek. "You've no idea. Now help me get the rest of my clothes off. This bizarre sweatpants and black lace combination of yours is actually really doing it for me." She rolled closer, and her mouth was warm through the thin fabric of Holly's bra.

"It's my day off, leave me alone," Holly shivered with pleasure. "Everything else is in the laundry!"

"Oh no, no, no. I love it. I think it should go into regular rotation."

Later, sprawled across the futon, Lili looked at the ceiling as Holly gently picked sweaty curls off her cheeks. "It's going to be a bit fancy," she said suddenly.

Holly nodded as she smoothed a hand over Lili's forehead. "Yeah, I'd guessed that, actually. Seeing as you're one of Haven's richest families."

"I suppose we are." Lili wrinkled her nose, then sighed. "Would you mind if I dressed you? Only, I know you'll freak out if I leave you to do it, and I want to make this as painless an experience as possible for you."

Holly tipped her head to one side, eyes narrowing. "Did Artemis put you up to this?"

"What?" Lili blinked. "No."

Holly looked across the room at her closet and made a face. "Fine. Frond knows I don't have anything appropriate."

Lili kissed her jaw, which was all she could reach. "Do you want a dress or trousers?"

"I think you know the answer to that."


The green satin jumpsuit Lili brought her a few days later was not exactly what Holly would call trousers.

"It looks like if one of Artemis' Italian designers tried to recreate an LEP uniform," said Holly, eyeing herself in Lili's mirror. But she had to admit that the deep blue-green somehow managed to suit both her eyes, which was not something many colours could do.

Lili chuckled and adjusted the deep V of the neck. "Do you like it?"

Holly put her hands in the pockets and cocked her head to one side. "Strangely, yes."

"Good," Lili chirped. "So do I."

"Lili…" Holly frowned at her reflection, "just how fancy a thing is this thing, exactly?"

Lili passed her a pair of heels to try. "It's an annual fundraising gala for Haven Central Hospital."

"So very fancy, is what you're saying." Holly met her eyes in the mirror.

Lili grimaced. "Yes," she admitted. "Please still come."

Holly sighed.

"Please. I hate going to these things alone. I usually just bring whoever I'm sleeping with, but obviously I couldn't do that the last few times and it was so miserable."

"Why couldn't you?"

"Because the last few times I was sleeping with you."

"Oh," said Holly. "Right. Still, I mean, you could have taken someone else anyway."

Lili toyed with the hem of Holly's outfit. "But I didn't want to."

This made Holly feel very warm, though she wasn't quite sure why. "Well, I said I'm going, so I'm going. How bad can it really be?"

Very, was the answer to that question.

The Frond residence took up an entire city block, four tall wings looming around a manicured inner courtyard. On the night of the party, the front door was overflowing with guests and hangers-on. Lili didn't look twice at it, instead leading them around the back, where the old house was separated from the inner crust of the earth by only a narrow laneway.

"I used to come out here to smoke as a teenager," she explained. "By far the best way in and out of this place."

Inside, the house was just as loomingly impressive. Holly was forcibly reminded of Fowl Manor, except that at least here everything was proportionate to her height.

The ballroom was a glittering, cavernous affair whose glass roof opened to a dazzling array of coldly glistening stalactites. On the floor, the place was packed. There was a band playing on a low stage at the far end, but most guests were more interested in the circulating platters of champagne and appetisers than the dancing.

As they came in, a near carbon copy of Lili came to greet them. Up close, it was clear that she was markedly older than Lili, her taste in fashion was more consverative, and her eyes weren't as sparkly (or at least Holly didn't think so).

"Hello, Mother," Lili wore a very large, very false smile as she leaned in to kiss her mother on the cheek. As she did so, she realised she was squeezing Holly's hand and forced herself to loosen her grip. It didn't really work.

"Hello, darling." Her mother's smile was just as false.

"This is Holly, Mother," said Lili. "Holly, this is my mother Rosamund."

"Pleasure to meet you," said Holly, trying not to give away the fact that her fingers were slowly being crushed.

"Oh," Rosamund Frond's eyes drifted past her daughter and into the crowd. "Are you still doing that?"

Holly looked questioningly at Lili, who rolled her eyes. "You mean dating women?"

"Yes."

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm still doing that, Mum."

"I keep hoping you'll grow out of it."

Holly schooled her face as quickly as she could, but she was relatively certain her jaw still hit the floor before coming back up.

"Well," Lili said breezily, "you always did prefer living in a fantasy."

Before Rosamund could reply, Lili dragged them into the crowd.

"Let's just rip the bandaid off, shall we?" Lili murmured, steering Holly towards an elf so old she actually looked it. "Hello, Granny!"

The silver-haired elf raised an eyebrow at her grandchild. Wrinkled though she was, her face had the same elegant bone structure as Lili's and her blue eyes were bright and glittering—with malice, as it turned out.

"Ah, Lili, dear. You made it. And in such a lovely dress," her grandmother smiled.

Lili looked a little shocked. "Do you like it?"

"Yes, but I do worry you'll burst a seam. What a pity that would be. It's delicate lacework."

Lili nodded, looking much less surprised by this turn of events. Holly, meanwhile, was once again picking bits of herself up off the floor.

"I'm glad you think so. And I have to say I love your new haircut. It takes centuries off, truly."

And they plunged once more into the fray.

"Now for the men…" Lili made a face.

"It gets worse?"

"I did warn you."

There was a gaggle of drunk uncles next, who were, to an elf, all hands, and whose teeth Holly was sorely tempted to break. Then came Lili's father, his arm around a pretty sprite younger than Lili. He warned Lili not to get carried away at the buffet. Holly would have happily taken out his teeth too. Then a cousin, whose teeth she very nearly did knock out.

"Oh, Roddle," Lili didn't bother faking a smile for the dark-haired elf. "You're here too, are you?"

"Of course I'm bloody here," Roddle gestured grandly with his drink. "Who do you think's going to buy half the trash at the auction, if not me? I'm the only one left with money in this family."

"Don't let Granny hear you say that."

Roddle snorted. "And who's this then? She's very pretty. How much does she charge an hour?"

Lili put a hand on Holly's arm. "Unlike you, I don't have to pay for women's attention. They give it to me freely."

"Your mistake," Roddle told Holly. Then he frowned. "Hey, do I know you? You look sort of familiar."

"No," Holly bit out. "Fortunately, we've never met."

"Well, no time like the present. Pass me you comm. I'll give you my number for when you get bored of Lili's antics."

"Nah," said Holly. Lili saw her hand curling into a fist and took her elbow.

"As unpleasant as this has been, time for us to go. Mother's waving for me. Bye, Roddle."

"You're making a mistake," Roddle called after Holly.

"Yeah. I should have punched you," Holly agreed as Lili directed them out of the ballroom.

Lili chuckled. "I'm so sorry. He's the worst of them. Runs HavenCor."

"The thermal energy company?"

"Yeah. Thinks he's the most important person under the earth."

They had reached the end of a narrow hall. Lili opened a nondescript door and led them into a cramped bathroom. There was a window next to the sink and she opened it wide, leaning her elbows on the sill. Holly joined her. Below them, the courtyard rose bushes rustled darkly.

"Well," said Holly after a moment. "You weren't kidding. Your family is horrible."

Lili nodded.

"Honestly, they make Artemis' family look functional."

"Ouch." Lili grinned. "But you're not wrong."

When they came back, the party was in full swing. The buffet table had been ravaged, cocktail glasses glinted in the sliding lights, and the dance-floor was heaving. Holly and Lili decided to stay on the sidelines, settling into a dark loveseat nestled between two potted ferns.

"There you are!" A curvy elf in a tight-fitting dress and an exuberant updo came out of the crowd, her arms spread wide. "I've been looking everywhere for you. I was starting to think your mother lied to me. Wouldn't be the first time, after all."

"Blossom!" Lili opened her arms. For the first time that night, she actually looked glad to see the person she was embracing. "I thought you weren't coming back until next month. Holly, this is Blossom, my favourite cousin. Bloss, this is—"

"Holly Short, yes, I can see that, Lil." The elf gave a wicked little smirk. "She's only in the news every other minute."

"Well, Roddle couldn't figure out who she was."

"And what? You think I'm as thick as that knobhead?"Blossom tossed back the last of her champagne and set the empty glass in one of the fern pots. "Besides, I've had to listen to you moan on and on about her for Frond knows how long."

To Holly's surprise and delight, Lili blushed. "Be quiet, Bloss."

Blossom ignored her and turned to Holly, holding out a heavily-beringed hand. "Lovely to meet you, Holly. Has my darling cousin told you yet that she's been pining after you for several ages?"

"Yes," said Holly, shaking hands. "That was my mistake."

Blossom arched a perfectly-plucked eyebrow. "Oh, and she can take responsibility for her actions, can she? I like that."

"Personally, I'm surprised you even recognise what that looks like," Lili sniffed. Then, eager to change the subject before Blossom spewed all her embarrassing secrets: "But go on, how was Atlantis?"

Heaving a dramatic sigh, Blossom flopped into Lili's lap, arms going around her neck. "So dull, you've no idea. If I ever see another man with webbed feet I will literally die. They all have them, can you believe it? I thought it was going to be such fun ('I was working for a PR firm over there,' she said in an aside to Holly). You know, really exotic. I mean, admit it, nymphs sound so sexy, right? Well, I'm here to tell you it's all lies."

"Well, that's disappointing," said Lili.

"So disappointing. Frankly, I'm nearly crippled from an excess of abstinence."

"Crippled?" Lili raised an eyebrow. "What? Has your pelvic floor stopped working?"

Blossom pouted. "You wouldn't understand. All this long term monogamy of yours. You've forgotten what it's like to have to constantly hunt for one's supper."

"Always so dramatic."

"I notice you're not refuting either the long term or the monogamy. So it's serious, then?" Blossom looked from Lili to Holly and back.

"Well, if nothing else, at least the seafood must have been good?" Lili ignored Blossom's question completely.

Her cousin wrinkled her nose, but played along. "For you, maybe. But I'm not interested in slurping up slimy puckered things."

"That is not how I would describe that, but I take your point."

"Well, how would you describe it?" Blossom leaned back so she could look Lili in the eyes. Her gaze slid to Holly. "How would you describe this?" She waggled her eyebrows, waving a finger back and forth between the two of them. "Is it good? It's good, isn't it? Tell me it's good."

"A lady never tells," Lili sniffed.

"No," her cousin looked horrified. "Are you really not going to tell me? Crap, it actually is serious."

"Frond, Bloss, you're the worst." Lili tried to shove her cousin off, but the other elf only tightened her grip.

"You love me, darling, don't be like that. Just because I'm embarrassing you in front of your girlfriend. Wait. Can I call you that?" she asked Holly. "Are you two doing labels? Or is that too passé?"

"You can call me that," Holly leaned back in the loveseat.

"Doesn't talk much, does she?" said Blossom.

"Well, maybe if you weren't taking up all the oxygen in the room, she'd have a chance."

"So defensive. Oooh," Blossom clapped her hands. "Have you introduced her to Granny yet?"

Lili rolled her eyes. "Yes."

"And?"

"She was too busy commenting on my dress."

Blossom cackled. "That old cow. It's smashing, by the way."

"Thank you. What'd she say about yours?"

"Asked if I was pregnant."

"No," Lili looked down at her cousin's voluptuous but very unpregnant body.

"And told me to be careful dancing because my tits might pop out."

"We should be so lucky," said Lili.

Blossom cackled. "Careful what you wish for. Holly might see something she likes."

"I already can," said Holly, and brushed a loose wisp of hair back behind Lili's ear. For the second time that night, Lili blushed.

"And she's charming to boot," Blossom shook her head and squeezed Lili gently. "Oh, but I am happy for you, darling. Really, I am."

With Blossom keeping up a running commentary on all the guests, and the waiters keeping them well-plied with wine, the rest of the night passed quickly enough. Still, a steady stream of relatives, of varying degrees of obnoxiousness, insisted on coming to talk with them, and Holly wasn't sorry when Lili began making noises about leaving.

"Oh, Lil, come home with me, will you?" Blossom looked at Holly. "Would you mind terribly if I borrowed her? Just for the night. It's been an eternity."

"Aren't we too old for sleepovers, Bloss?" Lili smiled, but Holly could see she wanted to.

"Never!" Blossom planted a sloppy kiss on her cousin's forehead.

"Oh go on," said Holly. "She's got to recover from the horrors of Atlantis, after all."

"You wouldn't mind?"

"Why on earth would I mind?" Holly smiled. "Besides, I'm exhausted. This has been more draining than fighting off a horde of goblins."

"Ie, you're not getting laid tonight," said Blossom helpfully.

"Yes, thank you, cousin dearest. I'd read between the lines."

Blossom hugged Lili tight. "So you might as well come home with meee."

"Go on," Holly smiled, leaning over to kiss Lili's cheek.

"Let me call you a cab at least," said Lili, thumb running along Holly's jaw.

"I'm still here, you know," Blossom cleared her throat.

"Don't worry." Ignoring Blossom, Holly took Lili's hand and kissed it. "A walk would be good for me."

In the hall, as Holly was pulling on her coat, a red-faced cousin Roddle stumbled passed.

"Aha!" he slurred, catching sight of her. "Lili's girl! I've remembered you! You're Holly Short. The one with the human."

Holly wrinkled her nose at more than just the smell of him.

"Tell me the truth. Lili really doesn't mind that you're sleeping with that mudman too?"

He tried to put a hand on her waist, but she'd grabbed his wrist and twisted before he ever touched her. Rolling her eyes, she left him whimpering amongst the coats. She hadn't even broken anything. They'd only have to pop his shoulder back in.

Outside, in the dark still city, Holly wondered if maybe she should have let Lili call her a cab. Her flat was on the other side of town and her heels were made to be looked at, not walked on. Still, the cool air felt good against her face and it was nice to be alone with her thoughts.

She was on edge, and she knew it. She'd let that lecherous idiot get to her. She'd let the whole fronding family get to her. But they made her so uncomfortable. More than that, they made her angry; with their money, their arrogance, their terrible fucking attitude. She'd never wanted to punch so many people in the same room before. And she regularly had to sit in on Council meetings for work.

How could Lili take the unending litany of complaints? The complete and utter lack of affection? Other than Blossom, not a single person in that room had said something nice to either of them. Holly had always considered herself unlucky, losing her mother as young as she did. But she would one thousand times have had her mother and lost her, than live her whole life with a family like that.

Wrapping her flimsy coat tighter around herself, Holly kicked the pavement in a fit of pique and wondered if the gym at HQ would still open. Maybe she'd feel better after a couple of rounds with a punching bag.

But she was too tipsy to show up at LEP headquarters, and frankly too tired. So she tucked her head into her coat and kept walking.

By the time she made it to her neighbourhood, she was dragging her feet. She was exhausted. The booze had worn off and left her feeling deflated and sad. When another, drunker elf came shambling up the pavement toward her, she stepped off into the street without thinking. She didn't want any more drama tonight.

"Hey."

Holly kept walking.

"Hey, I'm talking to you!"

Holly grumbled to herself, but didn't stop. She heard footsteps behind her.

"I said I'm talking to you!"

She sighed and turned to face the stranger. "And does it look like I care?"

The drunk was a big, burly elf. Young. Fit. He could have been any one of this year's cadets.

"Slag," he spat on the ground. "What kind of attitude is that then? I'm talking to you."

"Frankly, I wish you wouldn't." She made to turn away, but he grabbed her arm and pulled.

"You should—" But whatever he was going to say was lost to Holly's fist. It broke his nose, crunching it up against his forehead.

Howling, he tossed her sideways. Unused to her delicate heels, she tripped and only narrowly avoided getting punched in the head. But she righted herself quickly, and then the fight was over in minutes. The big elf lay on the ground, clutching his cracked ribs and groaning as Holly dug a knee into his chest and punched him. And punched him. And punched him.

She knew she should stop, but she didn't want to. What she wanted, very deep down, was to kill this man. Because it wasn't just Lili's family, or the men at work who gave Lili grief. It wasn't even just Lili. Or it was, but it was also so many other things, it was so many years of being angry.

Because Holly Short was angry. She was so very, very angry. Always, always, always.

She was angry at every hand that had ever touched her without asking, at every yes she'd said when she'd actually meant no, at every assumption and every leer; at never having had enough money, of being made to feel ashamed, and small, and freakish; at the pointlessness of her mother's death, of Root's, of Vinyaya's, of Artemis'. More than anything, she was angry at herself for having let all of it happen.

She did not kill the stranger. She rolled off him onto shaking legs and, in a fit of guilt, healed his more serious injuries when his own magic was not sufficient.

"Bitch," he muttered as she did. So she stopped and left him there.

She was still shaking by the time she got home. She tossed her keys onto the shelf as she always did. She took off her coat but left it on the floor. She tripped again on her shoes and landed hard on her knees. She didn't fight gravity and lay down heavily on the carpet. After a moment, she reached into one pocket and took out her communicator.

"Up late tonight are we, Major?" Artemis' voice was like a cool cloth over her eyes.

Holly opened her mouth to say something, but all that came out was a strangled gasp.

"Holly?" His amusement died immediately. "Are you all right?"

That almost made her laugh.

"Holly?" Concern now, each letter sharp and hard.

"I don't know," she managed finally. "I don't know."

And then she was crying; because of course she was only angry to keep from being sad.

"Holly." He sounded a little desperate now. "What happened?"

"You died," she howled, face pressed to the carpet. "You fucking died. And Vinyaya died. And Root—I had to watch Root die, Artemis. And my mother—and you—and one day you're going to do that to me again. And I hate it. And I hate how people think—how they're so horrible and how it just never ends, Artemis. It never fucking ends and I am so tired—I'm so tired—and I don't know if I can—if I can—Artemis—I don't know…" She was wailing now, fingers dug into the synthetic wool as her body convulsed.

After a moment, her communicator chimed softly as Artemis switched to a video call. Holly groaned and tucked her head under a shaking arm in a futile attempt to hide her tears.

"I can hear you crying through the earth's crust," he said softly. "Hiding your face isn't going to keep me from realising you're upset, Holly."

She choked on something between a sob and a laugh and took a deep breath. "I'm just so tired, Artemis," she whispered. She took a deep breath, but couldn't get herself to stop crying.

"No doubt. Most people suffering from burnout and what, if I had to guess, is a healthy dose of PTSD, are."

"Oh don't start diagnosing me, please." She pushed at the communicator as if it were actually him. "I'm fine. I'm just tired."

"You've collapsed in tears on your living room floor covered in what looks distinctly like blood," Artemis replied.

"Yeah," Holly pushed herself up on one hand, locking her elbow to keep it from collapsing under her. "Fine." Tears were still streaming down her face and she hiccuped, wiping at them with the back of one hand. All this did was spread the blood around. With a whimper, she closed her eyes and lay back down. Tears dripped into her ears.

"Tell me at least that it's not your blood."

She shook her head.

"Is the other person…" Artemis cast around for a diplomatic way to phrase his question.

"He's fine. Or…he will be after a few days."

"Unlike you," said Artemis softly.

"I'm fine," said Holly, closing her eyes against a fresh wave of tears. "I'm fine, I just can't seem to stop crying."

Artemis put a hand to his mouth. "Holly—"

"I think I might be a bad person, Artemis."

"I would disagree."

Holly shook her head.

"Holly, I am not a good person—"

"Yes, you are."

Artemis sighed. "You're a good person, Holly. You're just one who is very angry and very hurt. And rightfully so. I am not."

"You're good to me," she murmured, turning to look at him.

"It's easy to be good to the people one loves," he said gently. "But good people are also good to those they don't."

"I just beat up some guy," she dug the balls of her hands to her eyes. "I was horrible to Lili. I'm not—"

The front door swung open, interrupting her. "Holly? Artemis tex—Holly!" Scampering across the room, Lili got down on her hands and knees and took Holly's face in her hands. "Why are you covered in blood?"

"Ah, you made it. Thank you," Artemis smiled.

For a moment, Holly was too shocked to cry. "What are you doing here, Lili?"

"I wrote to her about ten minutes ago," Artemis' hologram shrugged. "I thought you might need some assistance. You made very good time, Ms. Frond."

"She's a captain," said Holly.

"My apologies. Captain Frond."

"Only you care about that," said Lili fondly as she wiped her thumbs across Holly's cheeks. "Frond, you look like shit. The other guy must look terrible."

Holly snorted faintly. "He does," she managed.

"I'll leave you to it, then," said Artemis. "Will you call me in the morning, Holly?"

She turned to look at him, eyes widening. "But—" she swallowed. Her chin was trembling. He found it physically painful to see her so weak.

"You're in very good hands now," he said. Lili bit her lip

"Artemis…" Holly whispered.

"Yes?"

"Promise you won't die before tomorrow."

"I promise."

There wasn't a trace of irony in his voice, and Lili knew something had gone very, very wrong since she'd last seen Holly.

"You really don't have to go," she frowned at the hologram. "Wouldn't you rather—"

Artemis shook his head. "I trust you can manage it."

Despite the circumstances, Lili felt a rush of warmth. No one had ever trusted her like that before.

"I just hope none of the blood gets on your dress. The lacework is lovely. It would be such a shame."

"I'll do my best," she whispered. She wasn't talking about the dress.

Artemis nodded and vanished. In his absence, the room seemed strangely empty. Holly shivered in her arms.

"Hey," Lili lowered herself onto the carpet, pulling Holly close. "What happened?"

For a long time Holly simply lay there, shivering and silent, her head on Lili's chest. Her tears pooled in the hollow of Lili's throat and slid into her hair. Lili didn't mind and she didn't push. She just stroked her hair and held her and made patterns in the stucco bumps of the ceiling.

"There was a guy in the street," said Holly finally. "He was being a knob and I—I snapped. I beat him up and I couldn't—I couldn't stop."

Lili's heart seized. "But…but you did stop, right? You didn't—"

Holly shook her head. "No, I didn't. But I wanted to."

"Well, we've all wanted to," said Lili.

"Have we?" Holly raised her head enough to meet Lili's eyes.

"I certainly have at least," said Lili. "And I'm sure my mother would happily murder my father if she thought she could get away with it. And I know Blossom has mentioned it. Then again," Lili wagged her head, "Bloss wants to kill nearly everyone, so maybe she isn't the best example."

Holly managed a watery smile and lay back down. "Lili, are you sure you want to be with me?" She felt Lili tense below her.

"Why would you ask that?" Lili whispered. Then, louder, brassier: "I told you you had to wait at least two weeks after tonight to break up with me, remember?"

Holly shook her head. "I don't want to. I just think you can do better. I'm an asshole, Lili."

Lili rolled them over onto their sides so they were nose to nose. Lili could see her pale reflection in Holly's mismatched eyes. It used to freak her out, when Holly first came back from Hybras, to see that cold, calculating eye in Holly's bright face. But at some point, it didn't seem cold or out of place anymore. In fact, Lili wasn't sure she could remember what Holly looked like before.

She pressed her forehead to Holly's. "You do know there's a difference between hating yourself and actually being a shit person, right?"

The look in Holly's eyes said that she didn't.