Edited by: Bieverdog AO3: GalavantingGoose
Book I
失衡
Act XIII: Daydreams of the Future and Nightmares of the Past
Chapter I: Tsungi Horn - ATLA OST/ Flying - Angèle Dubeau
Chapter II: Music for Uncovering Dark Mysteries - Fables
Chapter III: Kyne's Peace - The Elder Scrolls V OST
Chapter IV: Heavy Rain - Angèle Dubeau
Chapter V: Tragedy and Fate · Yuki Kajiura
Chapter I
Aang woke up startled. He was in a dark place, but he could recognize his surroundings: an elegantly decorated room. The color red everywhere was a dead giveaway; he knew exactly where he was. He craned his neck around, disoriented. He couldn't see a soul around him, only able to see a few feet in front of him, the half-lit gilded furniture ever catching his eye. For some reason, the avatar couldn't shake the eerie feeling that someone was watching him… Judging him would have been a better word. He approached a door slowly; on the other side, he could hear the crackle of fire burning. He pushed the door, and it parted just enough for him to go through: it was the throne room; and behind the flames, he could scantily see a figure sitting near them. He approached cautiously–
His palms felt cold; and with sweaty fingers, he gripped his staff. The figure of Ozai loomed behind the fire, and the sight of him flashed erratically before his eyes like lightning. His maniacal laughter could be felt bouncing around the room. "You failed, Avatar."
Aang grit his teeth and pointed his staff at the man. "I have defeated you once, and I will do it again." The laughter grew louder. As the flames split down the middle to reveal the Fire Lord, his jaw dropped as his staff clanked against the ground. He stared in disbelief. "No, i-it can't be."
Zuko walked towards him with his hands behind his back. "What did you expect, Aang? I am his spitting image."
Aang reflexively backed away. "No, you are not like him. Y-you said you'd never be."
His friend's eyes shone with fierce determination. "But I am. We've let this farce run its course for way too long. I won't make the same mistake my forefathers made."
Aang tried to say something; but without warning, Zuko jumped towards him, and he only managed to raise his arms before he was engulfed in flame and laughter.
He jolted awake to see the embers of a dying fire, a moonlit night, and a stone roof above them. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, slowly relaxing in his sleeping bag.
A hand touched his shoulder, and he turned around to see Katara, who stared him with half-lidded eyes. Even tired, he knew that look. "Aang, are you okay?"
He shook his head. "I just… Yeah."
Katara pouted her lips. "You've been like this for weeks now. I know what's bothering you…"
Aang sat on his bed, looking down in frustration. "What's happening to us? He– He didn't treat us like friends, wasn't even happy to see us."
"He's under a lot of pressure right now; you saw those reports too…"
"I get he needs to be more careful, but… All those guards, it wasn't like that the other time. The servants, even they were on edge. I don't know… I'm just afraid that something could happen."
Katara took his hand. "Lots of bad things could happen, but we have to support him. He's our friend; he'll get through it."
"We will, but… You don't think he'd go too far, right?" He hoped Katara hadn't noticed the tinge of doubt on his voice.
She held his hand tighter before letting go. "I hope so."
Aang looked away. "Maybe I'm overthinking it."
She yawned and closed her eyes. "For now, let's rest. We still have a lot of work ahead of us."
Aang looked up at the ceiling with his hands on his chest, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. They'd pull through like they always did; it could all be just the heat of the moment. With his heart still running, he sat up from his bed and went for a walk around the camp, his hand clutching his medallion. Under the light of a full moon, he walked over to a hill overlooking the camp and sat cross-legged, admiring the starry sky. It was deep black and smokey with thousands of stars splayed across the horizon like a sea of jewels.
A ghostly voice was calm but concerned. "Your heart is troubled, Aang."
He turned to see the figure of his mentor, surrounded by a light blue halo, with his brow furrowed in concern. "Hey, Roku…"
His eyes were distant and sad. "It's always the people we love the most that stir our deepest feelings. We all go through it in our lives: the pain, the rejection, the misunderstanding; but you mustn't let it cloud your judgment. As the Avatar, your duty to the world comes first."
"I know; but it still hurts… Was Sozin like Zuko? Before, you know…"
"Yes, in many ways: temperamental yet spirited, always there to hold out a hand; but as time passed, our paths in life drifted apart. The letters became less frequent…" He sighed. "It is one of my greatest regrets. Maybe if I had been there more for him, perhaps things could have been different; but all things happen for a reason. It was destined to be so–"
Aang muttered, "I'm starting to hate this destiny thing more."
"But you succeeded where I failed; you've set the world back on the right track. Balance always returns."
"I just think I might lose it. All of it might have been for nothing."
"I believe in you, Aang; the world does so, too. Look at all you have accomplished. If anything happens, I trust you'll rise to the occasion."
"Thanks, Roku."
"You are not alone, young avatar; remember that."
As his mentor dissipated into the night air, Aang could only think, but will I?
Sokka woke up, half-shuddering. The sleep bags they had bought were warm; but even having a bit of his face exposed to the frigid air was enough to make him shiver. He really had gotten accustomed to the warmer climates of the Earth Kingdom. It would be hard to get used to the cold again. He looked at Aang who was still fast asleep, always wearing a thin robe in the unbearable cold. It made him feel even more chilly. He snatched his jacket and rushed outside.
Katara was sitting by a small fire. Her voice was heavy with sleep. "Morning. Is Aang still sleeping?"
He yawned and stretched his arms. "Oh, please don't tell me I've got to wake him."
"No… Let him rest; he's been having some rough nights."
He warmed his hands over the fire. "Well, I sleep like a baby out here."
She smirked at him. "Could tell by your snoring."
"I need my beauty sleep. What else can I do?"
"Shut up... Come; let's go somewhere else before you wake him."
The mountains were robed in green and crowned with white. Below, there were forests as far as the eye could see. Aang sure knows how to pick a place. Hidden amongst the treetops he could distinguish the silvery shimmer of a river that zig-zagged all the way to one of the peaks. It was like a painting. He narrowed his eyes as if trying to snap a mental picture of the place. He'd save it for later; but for now, he'd just savor the view.
He took a deep breath, letting in some fresh air. "Nothing like good old mountain air in the morning, am I right?"
"Yeah…" Katara sat on top of the hill hugging her knees, her eyes lost in the scenery.
Sokka scratched his neck. Times like those were far and few in between in comparison to their regular work, always great opportunities to get away with a few minor offenses. "Oh, hope you're not angry that I took that dried yakaribu. In my defense, I already thought you'd gone full vegetarian." He expected a slap of water, but his sister stared at the horizon in silence.
He must have waited for a full minute for a reaction, then he started to worry. "...Katara?"
Her voice was distant, full of sorrow. "...You think we'll ever get back home?"
He sat next to her. "What are you talking about? Of course, we'll get back home…" His eyes softened. "Soon enough..."
She raised an eyebrow. "Didn't think you missed it that much."
He teasingly pushed her. "What? Of course, I do; there's nowhere else I could get the best seal jerky in all the world."
Katara smiled. "You totally miss everyone too."
"No… A little… Okay, yeah, I miss everyone a lot, but I also miss the food. There's nothing like Gran Gran's special stew."
She chuckled. "Shocking."
They remained in silence for a few minutes; then he kicked back and relaxed his head on the grass. "You know… last I wrote to Dad, he said everyone talks about us as heroes. Can't wait for all the free stuff we'll get once we get back; I bet I'll even get a statue or something! Just gotta think of a nickname, you know? Like the great heroes of legend."
"You lost naming rights a long time ago!" She bit her lip. "I… don't really like the attention. I think it would be nice just to get back to a normal life."
"Sister, whatever made you think we'd ever go back to a normal life? It ain't happening." Sokka lazily pointed towards their makeshift stone tent. "Don't know if you noticed, but that bald kid over there is the Avatar; and apparently, we're stuck with him. Doubt anyone in history ever said, 'It's been nice to help the world, be part of the change; but actually thinking about it, I'd rather be fishing back in my village.' No sir! Nuh uh; not for me."
"It's great that we get to do this, but we can't turn our backs on our people. The South suffered during the war. You know that as well as I do. It falls to us all to help bring back what was lost in honor of all those who sacrificed everything."
He sat up. "I never said we wouldn't help our people. We have a lot of catching up to do: bring back what we have learned, help make things better."
She arched a brow. "What do you mean?"
"Well, can't you see? It's obvious. This war showed us a harsh truth: the South was never ready, and we paid a high price for it. But look at the North. For all these years, they survived untouched; they could actually fight back. Now they can play an active role helping the world back on its feet."
"You're saying we should behave like Northerners, then?"
"No, no, no, not like that. We'll just copy what they did right and make it ours."
Katara narrowed her eyes. "What's wrong with our way of life? It is what made us unique, what defined us! Centuries of tradition, we can't just ignore it."
"I'm not saying we're going to rebuild from scratch, maybe a tweak here or there; no biggie, just whatever's necessary."
"Sometimes, it's hard to take you seriously."
He mentally huffed. "I'm being serious. Sure, dad would agree with me too."
"Whatever you say, Sokka."
"Hey, I wasn't mocking you; I do care about our people."
Katara stood to leave. "Come on; we've got to pack up."
He followed. "Okay, then. What's your great idea? Let's hear it."
"It's clear that we have to rebuild, but we can't just bury our past. It's what pulled us through these hard times. If it wasn't for the Southern Waterbenders, the Fire Nation would have destroyed us a long time ago. Our tribe has managed to survive for so long because of who we are; we are one big family that helps each other in our times of need. Did you see that in that big northern city? In the Fire Nation? In the Earth Kingdom? Our people don't starve or freeze–"
"So, you think that by improving our way of life, we're going to sacrifice our traditions, end up like them? That's ridiculous."
She threw out her hands. "It isn't! You know the story well: the North and South were one, then we drifted apart. They grew richer, bigger, abandoned us; we were left to fend for ourselves. Even though we had to endure countless hardships, it was our traditions that brought us together. It's something that the North has lost but we still have, and we must treasure it. Our way of life isn't a weakness as you think; it's actually our biggest strength."
"It's just a myth… We don't even know if it went down like that, don't even know if it's the whole story."
"Well, you know the saying, 'to every legend there's a kernel of truth.'"
Her brother smirked. "Ha. Which one of us do you think will be the legend once we are gone–"
"Hey, guys!" Aang smiled at them. "Overslept a lot, huh? Let's get going; we have to get to Taolin before sundown." They smiled back and nodded. Quickly, they packed up camp. As they prepared to leave, Sokka gave one last glance to the mountains before climbing Appa.
Chapter II
Early in the morning, the governor began his daily routine: production reports from the previous night, reports on construction projects, and a never-ending list of the matters he deemed required his attention. He looked over the desk in his room; an unfinished machine lay bare on it, its pieces set aside. It will have to wait. He barely had any time to tend to it anymore, and he was even late for the daily petitions.
He walked to the window. Its edges were rimmed in gold. Such bad taste, no use other than pomp. His fear was realized; for indeed, queues of citizens now circled around the manor. He never tired of the city view, able to watch it for hours at times. It was always moving, in perpetual change. The city had gone a long way in the brief time since its transformation had begun. What used to be a senseless garden area separating the manor from the city had turned into the very epicenter of change.
The door opened and one of his secretaries with another report, no doubt. "Governor sir, the shipment has arrived." That news he did not expect yet, but he welcomed it.
"Good work. Leave a sample in my study." He turned back to the window.
"Also, your guests are here."
He looked down at his list. "Right on cue. Very well, show them in."
He let them wait for a moment as he continued going down the list, put it in his pocket, and made his way down. He took a deep breath and smiled. The light pouring from the ceiling windows shone brightly on the marble stairs, even slightly blinding him too. At least, the ridiculously grandiose decor had a useful application: it helped dazzle when needed. But he knew the generals were no strangers to opulent displays, especially not these two. In that the aristocrats of Ba Sing Se took the first spot. The generals stiffly stood next to the main door, mildly entertained, not by his entrance, but by the machines he had installed. At least, they had better taste than most. Though they seemed out of place in simple garments–the woman was even barefoot, a peculiar but welcome change to their more lavish compatriots.
He put on a smile. "Welcome, Generals; I'm glad you could make it."
The woman looked rather annoyed. "We came for answers, not idle chatter."
The elderly general gritted his teeth. "Excuse her."
He paid her no mind. "Of course. Come with me." The governor led them to his study, the generals following closely behind; he could notice their distraction, their eyes shifting towards the paintings and statues. "Please have a seat."
The general smiled politely. "Thank you. You have a beautiful home, Your Excellency. Can't say I've seen the likes of it in Ba Sing Se."
The governor smiled as well. "You are most kind, General Yu. You should take a walk around the city; you will be amazed at what we can offer the Earth Kingdom."
The general nodded. "Of course, it would be a pleasure, though I did notice the city is quite crowded. And I saw quite a few people surrounding your house. Do you have any security measures in place?"
He saw that the woman leaned in, showing her first sign of interest, and he smiled politely. "In the city, of course. People often visit the gardens or come here for an audience. And to be honest, I'm late for them; so, it's no wonder it's surrounded. "
The old man smiled back, and the woman reclined in the chair. "I see; then we shan't keep you for much longer. I'll be frank. We distinctly remember a larger number on our weapons request than we received."
He nodded. "I am aware. They are being manufactured as we speak."
The woman tapped her fingers against the desk, glaring mildly. "If expectations aren't met, we might have to reconsider our arrangement."
The old man chuckled nervously at her. "Governor, we are simply worried, you see. We know the capacity of your factories; by now, our request should be more than satisfied."
He clasped his hands together. "I understand your worries. You must know that the production has been hindered. The rules have changed: we're being monitored. They can only be made under extreme secrecy."
The woman leaned in again, placing her hands on the desk. "Are you telling me you haven't solved such a minor issue? Come now, you'll find a way. It would be… unfortunate to end this deal prematurely, don't you think?"
"Shih!" The elderly general nudged her.
The governor held a hand out. "It's alright. I've heard about you, Shih. You're a brave woman; I admire your courage–"
She scoffed. "I doubt you even know what that means. Backstabbers like you don't deserve respect!" She spat on the floor to the shock of her companion. "How should have known better than to trust a half-blood."
He calmly sat back. "Now, now; we don't need such harsh language; we're partners for spirits' sake. This is just a minor setback that will be dealt with…" The woman smiled victoriously over him. He looked at her innocently. "By the way, how is Sun? I hear he's doing well." Her smirk turned to a panicked grimace, but he continued before she could speak. "Now, if a deal is made, there are stipulations for complications and breaches of contract. Typically, reimbursement for damaged goods, late deliveries, boring jargon like that. Mine are a bit more… blunt. Would you want to find out what they are? Or would you want him to?"
Her lips trembled. "You–"
He stood up and put a hand on her shoulder. "Come now; chin up. We're friends, aren't we? I want this to succeed as much as you do. I believe in your cause; it's the reason why we're doing business, isn't it? I'm a man of my word; I'll deliver. I'm sure General How will understand the reason for my delay. And I will be punctual. Do try to act the same."
The old man stood up and nodded. "Thank you, Governor. We'll be sure to inform him. Shih... let's go." The old man nudged her arm, and she followed with her head down.
"Would you like me to accompany you?"
The man shook his head. "We've already taken enough of your time. It's alright."
"Safe travels, then." The general bowed his head slightly and closed the doors behind him.
He sat back. His eyes darted to the sample that had been left on his desk: a cylindrical metal canister. He took it; and it was slightly heavier than he had anticipated but didn't look like much. He was about to open it when he heard a tap against the wall of the library. Perhaps the agents have an insight into the matter. A muffled voice came from the other side. "They just left the estate. Should we follow them, sir?"
"No need; they'll go to him. Besides, How knows better, for now… Do give a heads up to our people in the Si Wong. I want to hear the news from them… If that is all, I should be going." He heard two taps and left, leaving the canister behind. Yet another thing that would have to wait.
He spent most of the early day hearing most of the petitioners before closing and heading straight for the academy, usually his favorite visit. It was always thrilling to see what was new; what new advancements had been made. If only he had time to help around more– He shook his head. Just a hopeful thought of the old times.
At least, he had been able to give the academy the proper funding it needed. Its expenses were quickly overshadowing those of all the other areas. If his manor was the epicenter of change, the beating heart, the academy would be the city's spirit.
Despite that, it only mattered that progress was being made. Its staff had more than doubled and it continued to receive an ever-increasing influx of new students from all over the world. He wondered how everyone could work in the expanding walls of the academy. There, the gilded halls were filled with ingenious machinery from the floor to the ceiling. It was a reminder and inspiration to all scholars old and new of what they had archived and what they could create. But he didn't have the time to linger; so, he walked straight into one of the rooms.
Making his way to the end of the large workshop, he saw a group of the engineers in charge of the project were debating aloud; but before he could listen, they turned to see him and stopped. "Ah, governor, it's good that you passed by. We were just discussing the prototype. It is outstanding, much better than the latest model. It would have been better to work with the engineer that crafted it though, for we are still having some issues deciphering the internal mechanism. That part of the drawing is unintelligible."
The man presented the schematic. Indeed, it was blurred away enough that the small pieces couldn't be told apart; still, it still was a brilliant piece. They could have used such a capable man. He wished things hadn't gone as badly.
"Sadly, that won't be possible, but I might be able to lend a hand." The governor walked up to the desk. On it, the weapon was attached to a pole. He placed a hand on the cold metal, closed his eyes, and focused. In the blackness, he could now see it; thousands of tiny pieces forming larger bodies. The impurities in the metal gave him a clear view of the inside. He opened his eyes and took a brush. As the academics peered over his shoulder, he drew what he saw then checked again until the drawing was finished.
He handed it over to the man in charge. "If you replicate that model, it should give you the same results."
The engineer glanced at the paper wide-eyed and cleared his throat. "That's… Thank you."
"Don't mention it. If there's any way you can improve it, try. I want some variations for it ready by next week; after that, I'd like your team to work on devising a manufacturing blueprint. There's no time to lose."
As much as he would have loved to stay and help, he was needed elsewhere. It hadn't been long since his friend had returned. He didn't even have the time to be with her; and now, he'd have to send her away again. He flitted through the crowds, constantly checking the time. It wasn't hard to find her, for she was always going to the same old places. He stood and watched as she instructed two kids near a fountain, holding a handful of rock dust and fire. It was her classic trick; as children, she had always fooled him with it. The boys were dumbfounded when she threw it into the air generating a flash of light that lasted only a second. She gave them some of the powder; then she looked at him. She seemed surprised.
"Hey, stranger."
"Good to see you too. Thought you didn't perform anymore."
She sat beside him. "Well not for anyone… Let me guess. Not a social visit? Was wondering when you'd drop by."
"You did well on your last assignment."
"Could have gone better..." She looked down.
"Nevertheless, you tried your best, and the mission was still successful."
She shook her head in disbelief. "What they did to Langshizi… It was horrible."
He put a hand on her shoulder. "Hey… We'll never allow that to happen. All these people believe in what we're building here. You know I won't turn my back on them; rest easy."
She elbowed him and smiled. "They believe in you, Raizo–that's the reason why."
"...Something's come up: I have a task I can only entrust to you."
She straightened up. "Say the word."
"It happened while you were away. Not a month after finding the location of a priority target, we heard rumors she escaped. She was retrieved some days later, and security is much tighter around the facility. Now we're back to the drawing board. I need you to scout the area, check for any new movements, their timings; see if there's any weak points we can target. If you'd like, you can take some of the others with you. I still don't fully trust them to conduct these operations unsupervised, much less regarding their past ally."
She narrowed her eyes. "But… won't my cover be blown?"
"No. There's folk from all over the colonies traveling around the Fire Nation, but it would be better if you stayed out of sight. We need a good grasp of the surrounding area and the building to safely extract her. There's no need for bloodshed; be discreet."
She scoffed. "Then don't get Reifu on the job, and I'll be fine with a few of the earthbenders."
He nodded. "Done; you set sail tomorrow. I'll provide instructions for safe communication. Be careful, Michiko."
"Always am… Hey, why don't you stay a while? You only show up when there's work to do lately."
"You know I'd stay if I could, but the day isn't over for me."
She sighed. "And tomorrow, and the day after that, and so on."
He chuckled. "Such is the burden of my duties… Take care." There would be time, yet he wondered how many times he had used the same excuse, for they never stopped and could not afford to.
He checked his list and moved on to the next destination.
Chapter III
He was sitting looking at the desolate mountains. Perhaps the scenery would have been more impressive had it not been for the soldiers surrounding him. He had long needed a break from the capital, and what better opportunity than to inspect the new villages that had been settled by the colonists. He had somewhat forced his ministers to travel with him so they could all be in touch with reality when making their decisions. That's what he wanted to believe. In reality, he was constantly afraid of what treachery they could conceive behind his back. He had told Mai that he would be back soon, but now he already expected her to scold him when he was back in the capital.
But at least for now, he could think better without being confined to the palace walls or suffocated by the crowds of the big city. Instead, the calm breeze of that mountain village made him forget his problems and think of those times when his only concern was to capture the avatar. Yes, he had been frustrated once or twice, but he would choose that in a heartbeat over his current woes.
The locals had been very kind, perhaps too kind. He had heard from the soldiers that some of the peasants had come to see the Fire Lord as an immortal spirit, and they revered him as such. It was the cult that his ancestors had engendered, no doubt a ploy to further increase the influence and power of the office over the people. They were as human as everyone else, prone to make mistakes; so, their title shouldn't be a shield against righteousness. He felt sorry for those people; but if all went well, at least his grandchildren would not have to live with the same ideals.
He looked to his left to see Minister Lee absorbed in a list. The man checked it, adjusting his glasses, before approaching. The minister bowed, and his eyes went back to the list. "We have accounted for around one thousand colonists here. They should mix well with the local population–similar trades with opportunities available in town. I've made sure some aid was provided for the building materials. I believe we should be done here."
He nodded. "Good. Let's move on to the next one, then."
The man stood there for a moment as if trying to gather his words and put away the list. "Fire Lord, forgive me; but isn't this task better suited to the magistrates from the region? We should be dealing with more important matters regarding the benefit of the nation."
He waved it off. "As I said before, Minister Lee, this will help us all gain better insight into our choices. How are we to decide on such 'important matters' if we are not familiar to those who will be impacted the most by those decisions?"
"It's a fair point, Your Majesty, but that's what the magistrates are for. They inform the governors, who, in turn, inform us so we can get the larger picture and, thus, make the best decisions."
"I am aware of the flow of information. But there's nothing better than experiencing it yourself, is it not? Rather than looking at numbers on a scroll, you get to see it play out."
The man's eyes drifted to his surroundings, noticeably displeased. "I suppose it gives a… different perspective, a welcome one; but we shouldn't linger for so long. Matters of state are not forgiving when it comes to time, as you must surely be aware."
"I like to have many different perspectives before coming to a decision. Within reason, of course. I'll get around to other things; but right now, my main priority is getting the colonists back to our country."
Lee bowed, adjusting his glasses again. "Of course, Your Highness. If you'll excuse me, I may have to assist with the cattle head count…"
"Alright then; you are dismissed."
Partly, he smiled inside. Those people had lived all their lives in the Capital, far away from farms and peasants. It was easy to get lost in the splendor of the city; to forget the pillars on which they stood. Now forced to be there themselves, he had to admit some took their job more diligently; but most simply could not be bothered by such "petty village squabbles". It amused him to see how they walked with disdain and arrogance around the villagers just to splatter themselves by stepping in a mud puddle. He had been in the same situation before, and living that way had helped him improve his view of the world. Perhaps it could do the same for them though he had no high expectations.
Renhao approached his tent carefully, clenching her hands as she stood before him. She made a reverence then laced her fingers. "Your Highness… there isn't much for me to oversee here in terms of trade. I did speak to a trader familiar with the area. He has made the crop projections for next year. Based on his advice and some of my other research, I think this area would be better suited for teosinte-buckwheat."
"It's good to hear, Minister Renhao."
"Thank you. I'd like to believe this isn't some sort of retaliation for what happened, and I hope I'm not overstepping my boundaries when I say it would be unwise to leave the nation unattended to exact revenge for such a trivial matter."
"Who said such a thing? Why no, this will help ground our perspectives."
Renhao scoffed. "Forgive me, your Majesty; but haven't we had enough grounding?"
"Based on what I've seen, not nearly enough."
He walked away from her with his hands behind his back. He had not yet thought of going back. Rather, he was intent on going forward to the next town and so on; maybe even make it as far as Jin Lin; even see Azula. It was high time he did. Perhaps he could tell Mai. But then again, she had always made clear to him how she didn't want to see her; how Azula would try to shower them with apologies just so she could be set free to do as she pleased.
He sighed. It was Azula they were talking about; it was possible. Yet, at least, some part of him held on to the hope that she was actually doing better, maybe even feeling better, as stupid as it sounded. But he couldn't help but feel skeptical about her change of heart.
"A dispatch has just arrived, Your Highness." The courier handed him two letters, one with a military seal, the other from the embassy. He mentally steeled himself, took them back to his tent, merely a repurposed military one but with enough amenities to make himself home in the middle of nowhere. There was room for a single bed with furs, a large table with a spread-out map of the Fire Nation, a small, regal chair and two small ones facing it; and a small bathroom. The last feature was simply a hole in the ground covered with a fine, red blanket, as if that made it more luxurious. He placed one letter on the table and broke the seal of the embassy's letter.
For His Majesty's eyes only:
You will be pleased with this news, Your Majesty: The trial of the Yanshi has borne fruit. First of all, I thank you for your support. I know that my decision to stay here longer has been highly irregular, but it has not been in vain. After I managed to convince the judge that the sentence be reduced if any information was provided, I was able to negotiate with the prisoner. The Yanshi pointed out many of his accomplices. This has led to many arrests in the city; and, mainly, we have confiscated piles of unregistered weapons.
We have prevented a massacre. Whatever they had on their hands, we will find out; but for now, one thing is certain: this blow must have crippled their plans. They'll be unable to target our citizens in Ba Sing Se for the time being, but it's still unclear whether they have any presence in another city. But time is of the essence, and we must take initiative to finish them off before they have a chance to regroup or retaliate.
I suggest we offer our aid to the Earth King in hunting down these terrorists–a joint task force. It would ensure that the matter is put to rest whilst gaining valuable contacts and information on the Earth Kingdom army leadership. Not to mention it could be helpful to improve our standing here.
I await your orders. If you decide this is the best course of action, I could use some recommendations.
Your loyal servant, Imperial Secretary Fang
At least, that was some good news. Fang had proven to be useful after all. He'd need to contact the Earth King soon, make sure they ended the menace for once and for all. He only hoped they would do a decent job with it, for it wouldn't be long before they ran out of ways to make the Earth Kingdom more cooperative.
Their new expenses had proven hefty; so, they wouldn't be able to bail them out again without some hurting of their own. But so far, he tried to celebrate it as a victory, nonetheless. It felt refreshing for a change. Mai'd be proud. Though he'd need people he could trust inside the Earth Kingdom, for loyal subjects weren't exactly in high supply as of late. He placed the opened letter on the desk, unwrapping the next one. It looked like it was written in a rush, for it was not even on the standard paper; just a scribbled scrap wrapped up and sealed.
Fire Lord, I have been able to check the state of the princess again in person. The reaction was the same as last time. She was polite but the interaction was brief and again claimed to be indisposed. I followed the traces of the damage caused by the fire; and I'm convinced it was generated from within the compound, which would check out with what I've been told. Though, I find it hard to believe that fireworks caused such a disaster. I have been trying to find any of the eyewitnesses, but it has become increasingly difficult to find one amongst all the new personnel. Besides, most direct me to director Tsume or another superior for questions.
I have also noticed a drastic increase in security. It has already been high since my last visit; but now I'm certain it has doubled. Tsume tells me that it is because of some bandits who prowl the forests, but I have not seen signs of anyone. At this point, I think there are more guards than patients. I cannot discard his reason as a possibility since the institution is surrounded by nothing but wilderness and the nearest town is a good sixty lis away. However, I have my doubts. The institution seems a reasonable target, but the walls and a handful of guards would be more than enough of a deterrent.
Fire Lord, I'm quite certain that my investigations have not gone unsuspected; so, I apologize for the condition you might find this letter in.
Unless you object, I'll look into it further.
Your loyal servant, Colonel Mak.
He put the letter down and supported himself with the desk. He realized he had a choice to make. There weren't many people he could trust to undergo a military operation. Mak had failed, but he always remained loyal. Even when the army rioted when they hadn't received their payments, he had remained by his side. Who else was he going to send to command the operation? His uncle? He probably wouldn't agree in the first place, but he knew that only he could keep the peace.
Kuei had lost his grip again, and their government was without a head, going after the shortsighted interests of a few whilst their people were overlooked. Now pushed to blame the Fire Nation for their misfortunes, their leaders could easily spark another war. Even optimistically, it would claim many innocent lives. He had no choice, needed Mak now; so, he'd have to send someone else in his stead to keep investigating the situation at the asylum. Once the whole Yanshi deal blew over, he would inspect Azula's condition himself.
He threw the letters away in anger and walked out, telling his guards to call his ministers for a meeting as he sat on his mock throne and waited, preparing his words.
Renhao peered through the tent door first with a surprised look on her face, and she sat down. "Fire Lord, you've called on us?" Closely behind her entered the others. Hiyori quickly sat down. The other ministers crowded into the formerly spacious tent, standing around him in a semicircle, all waiting for him to speak.
"I know this isn't our usual way of conducting a meeting, but given the circumstances… I've just received word from Imperial Secretary Fang; he made a suggestion I think we should look into. The Earth Kingdom authorities have seized a large stash of weapons from the Yanshi; and now, most are still on the run. Fang believes we should pursue them now and finish them off. He suggested we offer to work side by side with them to bring the remaining members to justice."
"That's great news, Your Majesty; but I think we should let the Earth Kingdom authorities deal with the clean-up. I don't think it's a good idea to lend any military aid. It wouldn't be appreciated, not now–"
Zuko slightly raised his voice. "I don't agree quite the contrary in fact. I believe this is a prime opportunity to not only rid ourselves of this problem for good, given the inability the Earth Kingdom authorities have shown, but also to better assess any developments in their armed forces lately. We get two birds with one stone."
Hiyori looked confused. "But… Fire Lord, why would we need to assess their military capabilities? We're not at war nor plan to be… Our relations are strained, yes, but still somewhat cordial."
"And they will remain so, and continue improving, but having information about them has proven to be extremely valuable. The reason why you're here is that we have to select capable personnel for this task. We need people who are discrete, efficient." They muttered with themselves, then there was a short silence.
Lee walked closer. "Wouldn't it be best if you consulted with the military staff, Your Majesty?"
His eyes went straight to War Minister Qin. "Minister Qin, you are well acquainted with them. Do you have any suggestions?"
Qin was surprised he had addressed him. "I am. I'm sure I'd be able to provide some names."
He stood up. "Good. Today I'm recalling Colonel Mak to lead this operation. Prepare a letter for the Earth King." He could see some doubted him; but, nevertheless, they nodded and did as instructed. Kuei couldn't refuse; they had helped too much already. Even his own ministers would realize that. Besides, they would operate together. There was no way they could deny it; the plan was foolproof. Only one problem remained–Azula.
Chapter IV
The hot steam was rising to her face as she stared with dry eyes at the bowl in front of her, a pleasant aroma mingling with the heavy humidity in the room. A nurse placed the pieces of food in her mouth, and she chewed without thinking, without fighting. She had given up the struggle. She was surrounded; there was no point; she could never escape it. Anything she thought about it was just a delusion. She didn't get tired, didn't eat, wasn't human. It would haunt her wherever she went. Having walls around her made no difference when her own mind was her prison. She was sick, needed help; and they would keep her safe.
It repeated day after day. Anything not to see her, at least ignore her if possible. She was empty, had nothing, was nothing. She spent so many days in bed, she could have been mistaken for part of the furniture. Pale, immobile, unthinking, indifferent.
Sometimes, she had trouble remembering who she was, what she did, or why she was even there. Everything felt surreal, like in a dream, and she wondered when she would wake up. Intermittently, there were moments of pain, inexplicable sadness, a burning that crept up from her neck into her head. Then, there were moments where she remembered her only for an instant but the rage that gripped her was enough to leave marks. She dreaded those moments, the only ones where she could feel something, a fear she couldn't run from–
"Hello, Azula..." The voice was soft. She thought she knew it.
She looked around, but there was no one. "Who are you?"
"I'm sorry... I never meant for it to end like this..."
Her mind lit up, and she saw a blue-eyed girl in front of her, with her eyes downcast, teary. "No, listen to me; if I stay with you, they'll catch us both and send us back or worse. Is that what you want? I have to find out what's going on..." The girl's face didn't seem static, almost blurred, and her teary eyes were flashing from a deep blue to gray.
The girl tried to reach out, but she backed away; she couldn't hold her tears. "Azula..." Like a bolt of lightning, it came to her: Nozomi.
She jolted up. "I know you!"
"Please don't give up." Her voice was distant.
"You don't understand! I'm fine here. I'm not safe outside, not anymore..."
"Remember who you are."
"No, it's not safe. Don't–" Her blue eyes vanished, and Azula looked around confused, trying to find her. She was somewhere else, didn't know how she got there. A well-lit room. She squinted her eyes, trying to cover them with a hand, but her hand wouldn't move.
He was standing in front of her, holding a wooden cylinder with colorful engravings. She knew him; she was safe. "Good morning. I hope you liked your meal; I thought you would appreciate it." Her mind blanked at his sight.
Her eyes trailed off. "I– No... Where… Who am I?"
He smiled politely. "I thought we talked about it. Don't worry; we have time to talk. You're safe here." He held her arm.
She believed him. "Yes– Thank you."
The man carefully unstrapped the belts around her wrists and gave her the cylinder. "Take this; solve it." He sat in front of her, looking back expectantly.
Her eyes focused on it. The markings on it were in rings; they could move around and lock in place, all with different colors and letters. She thought she knew but couldn't understand. It felt exasperating not being able to know their meaning, yet she somehow felt it was so simple. Her hands gripped it so loosely that it slipped and fell.
The man picked it up disappointed. "Hmm… Let's move on."
Her vision dimmed. "Don't listen; you know who you are." It was Nozomi again.
Before she could respond, the man had placed a wooden tablet on her lap. It had ten square tiles that could fit perfectly in a one-column grid. "I want you to place these numbers in order." Like before, he sat and waited patiently, his eyes intensely focused on her.
She looked down on the tablet and had heard his instructions; and, indeed, the tiles were numbered; but she just couldn't tell what they meant. She knew yet… didn't–
"Remember." She saw a flash of images in succession: screams, that man, blood, and darkness. Frightened, she threw the board to the floor, the pieces flying everywhere.
The man, disappointed, put a hand to his chin and stood up. He turned around with his hands behind his back, silent for a while. "I thought we were making progress. Perhaps you need an incentive?"
Her body shuddered without warning. She was not well; it wasn't right. She wanted to avoid it at all costs. "No– I-I can."
The doctor looked at her and sighed. "Maybe you are not feeling like yourself today. How about a reminder? You know those help."
Anything, anything at all. "Y-yes, please, that would make me happy."
"Yes, remember that you are happy now. Keep that in mind today. Tomorrow you may try again." He gestured to a guard. "Take her back, please." And he walked away.
Her hands were fastened back to the chair tightly. They moved her out of the room, and she felt a hand on her shoulder. Even though she saw nothing she knew, she felt she was there. "Why are you following me?"
The blue-eyed girl's face was familiar, like a word on the tip of your tongue. "I want to help you. Let me." Her voice was calm and soothing.
She shook her head. "I don't– I'm okay here. Leave me be."
"If only you knew."
Again, she had gotten somewhere else, didn't know where she was or how she had arrived–
A freckled girl sat in front of her. "Back from another one of his sessions? They really did you good up there, huh?" The girl paused for a response, staring at her. "Yeah, go back to pretending I don't exist, like that's going to fix anything... At least, you're silent now."
"You know her too. Zirin, remember?" Zirin? She could see her laughing at her, she was sitting. "What's that Thing you're carrying there? Bring your pet over here." There were other girls around her, mocking them–
–Zirin glared at her angrily. "Tell your pet to behave, Savage. Doesn't it know it's rude to stare at people–
–She was waiting for her. Azula had a plan. "What's up, pet? For your sake, I hope you are not wasting my time."–
–Azula stood above Zirin. The girl looked back in fear but with a sense of conviction in her eyes. "...What should I do?"–
–"Where are you going?" She could see her fists stained in blood, sweat mixed with soot all over her face, bodies at their feet amongst cheering shouts. The freckled girl stared back with suspicion before running off–
"Stop!" Azula looked around desperately. She was in that room again, confused. She didn't want to get lost again. No more. She felt as if she had a hole in her head.
Zirin laughed. "Uh oh, should I worry about any ghosts?"
She covered her ears as the headache pierced harder. "I. Said. Stop. …Don't talk to me." Her ears buzzed.
The girl now looked concerned as Azula tried to get up. "Hey… You don't look so hot." Azula stumbled and fell; but instead of hitting the cold floor, she felt weightless.
She blinked then found herself lying on a patch of tall grass soaked with fresh morning dew. The sun shone on her face. She sat and looked around, only able to see plain fields of grass as far as the eye could see in all directions but one, where there was a tall, crooked tree. She walked towards it uncertain, the sound of crashing waves swelling as she neared. She felt like she knew the place, could see a girl looking towards the sea with her back to her and black, flowing hair that reached the base of her neck.
When she neared, the girl turned around and smiled sadly. "Hi again."
Nozomi. Azula sat beside her. "Why are you here? You shouldn't be. I thought you left."
"Said I'd come back for you, didn't I?"
"I never thought you would…What's going on?"
"I'm here so you don't forget." Her blue eyes drifted towards the sea.
No matter how hard she tried to think, there was nothing. "Why can't I remember anything?" She looked desperately at her friend for an answer. The waves sounded off, metallic? It was the sound of saw blades. Burnt flesh, a sharp pain to the back of her skull. Azula shuddered. "...H-he did that to me…"
Nozomi nodded with her eyes downcast. "But you are partly to blame. You are suppressing your thoughts, memories, feelings, everything that makes you you." Azula was speechless. Her friend took her hand. "I know it's painful; it hurts a lot. But I can't interfere. You have to make a choice. I came because you needed help. But I know it isn't easy, and I won't blame you if you choose to forget."
"You aren't real, aren't you?" Azula looked away.
She squeezed her hand harder. "To you, I am. Does that make any difference? Your past doesn't define you, Azula, but it is what led you to this moment, what made you who you are, with your qualities and flaws. On the other hand, you can choose to remain in blissful ignorance, with no pain, no feelings; but you know the price to pay for that."
"What if I refuse to choose anything at all?"
"Right now, your mind is split. you've been experiencing both at the same time: the apathy, constantly confused by a sense of familiarity you just can't put into words, that sudden sense of fear that comes out of nowhere, the pain. It went on for too long; and now, you've reached a turning point. I'm not sure you can take it anymore; you're getting worse." She was serious, sounded sad.
Azula paused for a moment. "So, I could just… end it all now."
By the look in her eyes, she knew it was an option. "I know how you feel… I was there once."
"I feel... dead inside."
"But that's not true is it? You care—I've seen it—no matter how many times you try to hide it."
Azula looked down at her hands. "Does it matter what's true anymore?"
"Perhaps not, but it's all we know, right? Even if it doesn't seem like it, there's always something worth living for. I would have never met you if that was the case. You helped me."
She stared limply at the grass. "If you say so…"
Nozomi placed a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, cheer up. Everything will work out one day; you'll see."
Azula tried to smile, but her mouth was stuck in a tired frown. "I think I'm ready now."
"Whatever you decide..." The words caught in her throat, and she smiled through tears.
Azula sat up to see an empty room. She took a deep breath, for she knew the place. She stood before a golden framed mirror. she saw two reflections of herself mirroring each other, one regal and confident, the other a pessimistic peasant–
Then, it shattered, cascading from the center, and all the shards fell before her, scattering over the red carpet beneath it. She walked slowly towards them. Looking down, she saw that each crystal shone with a different shade of the rainbow. From afar, each was like a mirage that shifted as she approached. She held one up, and a vibrant memory flashed through her eyes: the aroma of the salty sea air, voices of children laughing–
She dropped it like poisoned tea. Her eyes drifted to the other pieces that still shone. The shard she had just held was not shining anymore, simply a piece of refuse now. She looked over to the broken mirror. It was void, looked like a light trap, reflecting nothing. she passed her hand in front of it, but the reflection was still blank. Yet it began to ripple.
Azula picked up another piece, and a different sensation went through her body: pain, exhaustion, uncontrollable despair. She could barely see through her tears and a dense black cloud of smoke that surrounded her. Then, it stopped; she had been ready for that. She realized that she had been holding the shard so tightly it had left cuts in her hand. With shaking hands, she set it in the mirror, and the crystal stuck in place, now showing her reflection.
She didn't know how long she spent picking up the pieces in that dark room. Each crystal was something new; something that struck her, whether it was with joy or sadness. A spectrum of emotions that she had never remembered were passing through her, filling parts of her memory that felt empty, making connections in empty spaces as if her mind were an intricate puzzle. She remembered parts of her childhood, her friends, her brother, betrayal; moments of glory; tried to discern before taking each piece which would be a good memory and which would be a bad one; but it was impossible for her to distinguish between the colors before taking each crystal.
Sometimes, she took them with fear; sometimes, with desire, always placing them back, completing the mirror, looking at parts of her diffuse reflection. But as each memory pieced her image together, a feeling of apprehension slowly grew as well, weighing her down to the point that she wanted to stop. She tried to hold back tears as the last memories she had found held nothing but pain and death. She looked at her half-completed reflection, disgusted by the person she saw, and felt an uncontrollable rage burning inside her chest. Only a sliver of hope buried deep inside held her back.
Azula tried to control her breathing, but it only quickened when she saw Mother standing behind her. In a fit of rage, she circled her fingers and pointed them at the mirror, blasting it with a blinding white lightning strike. The pulverized pieces of glass rained down like glittering raindrops. She turned around to face her, her fingers already pulsating with electricity, then stood still and silent. Her mother looked at her with heavy eyes, disappointed, maybe even sad, then smiled wickedly at her with a smile full of fangs.
Azula jolted awake. Her head was spinning, but she managed to support her body against the frame of her bed. She recognized the place, the dirty padded walls.
"You're alive? Gotta say I didn't expect that." She turned to look at her. Zirin. She seemed surprised.
"How long was I out?"
"Couple of hours at least." The girl lay with her head resting on pillowed hands, with a leg crossed over the other, and without a care in the world.
"Didn't think of calling anyone?"
Zirin shrugged. "What for? They'd think I did something to you then take us both. Figured I'd rather relax before they'd inevitably take me, but alas."
She stared flatly at her. "Thanks for having my back…" Azula made an effort to sit properly on her bed.
"What's gotten into you that you're so chatty now anyway?"
"You just said you were surprised that I was alive."
Zirin sat normally, facing her. "Well, I meant the reason why you aren't blabbering nonsense yet."
"Honestly, I don't know…" She looked down.
"Okay. As long as you don't snap and go crazy again, it's fine by me." Zirin kicked back again and relaxed.
"It's not like I can promise that."
"Of all the people I had to be stuck with here, it just had to be you. He probably did it on purpose…"
"Enjoying it?"
"Yes. I'm filled with joy. Look, we can both stay on our sides; we can just both pretend the other doesn't exist, you know like I've been doing with you for the past weeks; and we should be able to pull through just fine."
"I don't see that going well."
Zirin scoffed. "Shouldn't even be here. They should get someone as crazy as you to keep you company, like the savage. You made a fine pair."
"Well, you are! What's a bunch of complaining going to do about it, huh? And talk about her again and I'll rip your tongue out."
"Pft. Whatever." She had rolled her eyes, judging by her tone.
Azula sighed. "...I think I'll take you up on that plan of yours..."
"At least, we can agree on something."
"Shut up."
Zirin gestured, amused. "As I was saying… It's simple. We do it like we did last time; only now, we'll have to fight harder because you made everyone paranoid since your last try. Oh, there's also that little detail that we're on the safest ward in the asylum; just throwing it out there. Also, filled to the brim with guards all hours of the day–"
"Could you please stop for now? I'm tired." Azula massaged her temples, for her mind was unable to bear anything else, and painfully rested her head on the pillow. It felt like pieces of broken glass pricking her scalp.
"Sure, we've got all the time in the world… What's a few more years?"
"If we keep going like this, it'll be a few more days." Azula exhaled and ignored the girl as best she could, closing her eyes. Even though no one spoke, she could hear amidst the silence an indistinguishable voice whispering something she couldn't understand nor had the energy to decipher. She tried her best to sleep.
Chapter V
She looked at her roommate, puzzled, helpless. The girl's golden eyes were gazing dully to the stained, padded walls. The fierce girl she had first met seemed lost under the mask of a straight-faced double that had been sharing a room with her; but, at least, she could speak clearly now.
Irate, she snapped her fingers in front of the girl's face, hoping to get some semblance of reaction. "Hey, Azula... Hey! Concentrate. Here I am." Azula shook her head and nodded absentmindedly.
Twenty-seven days and counting since the day she was dragged with her, at first she thought time would bring her back to her senses; yet it only made her more sullen and quiet. Initially, she barely spoke of anything, but it wasn't that hard to piece two and two together, for the doctor's handiwork was evident. She wasn't sure if he would come for her and wondered what kind of sick test he had planned. Perhaps the doctor had aimed for her roommate to snap at some point, and she'd be the collateral damage.
She could tell the girl wasn't completely in her head even though she looked more centered now than before, but that was saying something, for what used to be slight quirks started to become worrisome signs. At first she spoke as if in a trance, grasped at thin air, became jittery all of the sudden… Her palms became chill from even thinking about it. She had seen what she could do, heard things; if Azula snapped she knew she didn't stand a chance. For countless nights, she thought about ending her. It wouldn't take long; Azula wouldn't even notice; and she'd be safe. But she skittered between certainty and uncertainty, for they needed her…
She stared back into her dead eyes. "Change that idiot face, will you?" Azula merely blinked, lowering her head slightly.
She stood before her. "You know… you never thank me. That day I should have kicked your ass for what you did to me."
The girl remained silent then looked away towards the steel door's barred window. "What would you like me to say? I've told you already: there's no way around it."
Zirin crossed her arms. It hadn't been the first time she answered the same; so, she was beginning to doubt if she was playing coy or was simply too afraid to act. "Stop evading it. I'm not stupid."
Her roommate sighed and traced a finger over the dry cracks in her palm. "It doesn't matter what you think… Doesn't change the facts. We're trapped here. For good."
She huffed. "At least, the savage got out."
Azula paused and lunged at her, gripping her tunic weakly, her teeth gritted. "Don't call her that, I told you!" Zirin shrugged and pushed her away.
She fell back against her bed, gripping her head. Azula glared at her. "I…Don't think she's coming back. Forget it."
Zirin kicked the leg of her bed listlessly. "Well, there's our chances of getting out of this hellhole."
The silence in the room was slowly replaced by her roommate's quickening breathing. "Shut up! I don't want to hear your lies…"
Zirin's anger turned to fear when she saw her hands trembling, and she grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. "Control yourself; stop this nonsense! Look at you! Think! If we stay here, we're done for. No one is safe here; we're just cattle marked for slaughter. There must be a way!"
Her eyes were wide, darting to every corner of the room. "There's no way! They know everything! he knows; she'll tell him."
Still holding on to her, her cellmate squeezed harder. "Look, you convinced me that it was worth fighting to get out of here. I thought it was impossible, and you did it, managed to show me that it wasn't. We all suffered for that! To you, we were nothing but meat shields. Do you know how many of my friends I lost that day?" Azula's shocked gaze faded away and avoided hers.
Zirin sat next to her. "They died fighting to escape this prison. I will not let their deaths be in vain. That was what helped me endure this torture. Every time they boiled my skin with that machine, the only thing I thought about was how I would tear them apart limb by limb, one by one, for each of my friends; how I will burn this place to the ground no matter what it takes! If they couldn't break me, neither can the others, we have to fight back."
Azula's eyes were grim, and the tone of her voice bitter, indifferent. "You think I wanted that? That's what drove me too: hatred for those who left me here, for what they did to me. And you know what? All I did was cause more damage, and they continue to torture me. We will never escape; you know we can't. Accept that, then maybe we live long enough to find another way."
She gritted her teeth, wanted to punch her so badly, but turned her back to her. "It's not my problem that you've given up. If you want to stay and be the doctor's pet, then by all means, go ahead."
Azula remained silent, her eyes glued to the ground. "You'll all end up dead; you'll get nothing but more torture."
When Zirin opened her mouth, her roommate was already desperately shifting around, shielding her face with her arms. "Don't talk to me! Let me go!" She gave her a wide berth and hoped for the best, counting the seconds to be let out for lunch. For a second, Zirin had almost forgotten that she was at a psychiatric ward.
Hours had passed, and Azula had eventually settled down and fallen asleep; but Zirin wouldn't go anywhere near–
Her guard dropped when the bolts clicked; and she anxiously awaited as the heavy door was pushed open, two fully armored guards instructed her out, she found it funny that she felt safer with her captors than her unstable roommate. Since their failed escape, there were now guards posted everywhere and even more useless controls at each door. To think I feared them before, with their armor and shields. In the end, they were of little use to them; they bled just as fast as they did. Their display of force felt void to her now. She had noticed, though, that they selectively kept some of them separated now. Also, Azula was not even allowed to go out unless she was surrounded by guards. She figured they wouldn't make the same mistake twice.
They had been placed in the most secure ward. There wasn't anything fancy about it: thicker steel doors, freezing temperatures night and day, unpainted concrete walls. A splatter of fresh blood in the middle of the long hallway was the only decoration. There was a patient in it, still, bloodied, raggedly breathing, surrounded.
The doctor had probably moved the most unstable patients to the normal wards. Now they got the special treatment. Not only were they accompanied by two guards each to every area; but also, they only took half of the patients out at a time.
Ahead, other prisoners were in a line, avoiding the dying patient like a carcass. She's already done for. Everyone was silent, and the air felt tense as the guards fixed their eyes on them. There was only the beat of marching footsteps, halting at each search.
Zirin already had her routine, for she aimed not to raise suspicions. She walked with her head down waiting in line. They searched each patient thoroughly before letting them through to get to the main hall with two guards beside her; and she sharpened her senses, taking mental note of anything that might be useful. To tell the truth, she had not found many people willing to organize another riot and suspected that several of those who had said yes were either really crazy or could potentially be informants. A little extra time outside, a fancy meal, or comfier beds would all they needed for some to flip without a second thought.
Stealth had never been her specialty; but still, she had no other choice. She certainly knew she couldn't do it alone. Now it was her turn on the line. She hated it, every second of it. So, she looked away, tried to space out, gritted her teeth. Her mind filled with rage as the guards pushed and frisked her indiscriminately. Her glaring eyes fixed on a list a shaky nurse held, waiting for that tick, a temporary end to her humiliation. One of the guards nodded to the nurse. Finally. She quickly stood out of the way, and they shoved her towards the cafeteria.
No more controls, at least not until she had to return. It took them a while to clean up the mess, yet some dried blood stains had stubbornly remained edged on the ceramic floor. Strangely enough, they were a symbol to her that their fight wasn't over yet; that what they did somehow mattered. Once, the room had been filled with the din of talking, and the air had lingered with the sour stench of what they called food. But the noise was all a mere fraction of it now; the room wasn't even half full. They were rotated; so, the people they saw could change from one day to the next. They were always surrounded by an overwhelming number of guards, at least ten for every one of them, all standing orderly near the walls. She could scarcely distinguish a few nurses amongst the bunch, their white pinkish uniforms contrasting from the black and red of the guards who all stood firmly around them. Not a fly could buzz by without them noticing. Another precaution was that the tables and chairs were now firmly bolted to the ground.
She crossed her fingers, hoping to see a friendly face somewhere, and walked discreetly towards the cook, who was now protected by a sheet of metal. She saw no faces, only a ladle that dropped a thick greenish mash. She tried not to stand still but slowed her pace to look around. Then a brown-haired girl with a round face sideeyed her: Hana. The girl took great care not to seem excited, casually walking towards her and taking the seat in front.
They both ate idly, pretending not to acknowledge their presence. Hana stopped eating and stared at her. "Seen a lot of animals lately, different sizes and all, colorful too. How about you?" Not good then, she had expected her side to have less guards.
Zirin fiddled with her food. "Same old, same old. Lots of birds lately; they don't sing." Not only were they extremely well-guarded, but there was also complete silence, nothing; or at least, she couldn't hear anything. They were isolated.
"Oh. On my side, there's lots too, but they sing loud." Maybe she's in an unsecure ward, deemed unimportant.
Zirin was surprised. "Oh yeah? Do they sing something special for you?"
Her friend shrugged. "Nothing important really. I think they've made a new nest near my bed." How many more guards is Tsume going to fit in? The amount's already ridiculous. They'll need an entire ward to house these guys.
She was taken aback. "A whole family?" Zirin immediately lowered her head when a guard strolled past her, looking down on them like they were litter.
Hana nodded grimly. "Yep. I just hope they don't become a plague, you know?"
She fought the urge to bang the table. "Sparks. We'll need more trappers before they become a problem and fast." We still don't have enough people we can count on, far too divided. It's already been hard as it was last time, and we aren't even facing half of the guards. The problem's doubled if not tripled without even taking into account the new security measures. Even with the help of all the patients, it's gonna be hard to pull off.
The girl leaned in. "Can't think of anyone who could do the job. Did you have any luck?"
Zirin rested her head on her hand, stirring the green slop with the other. "Eh… Doesn't care about the birds. Seems she kinda lives with them. To be honest, I think the plague will take her soon." Azula doesn't care; she's already seen many like her. Not all quite right in her head; and to top it all off, for some reason she's the doctor's favorite patient. Nickname does fit her after all…
Her associate deflated. "That bad, huh? Maybe you could at least ask her for some advice on how to set them free? I've got a couple; but you know how things are, many fear the plague but aren't willing to do anything about it. Not many want to risk their necks especially with so many birds around. It's impossible." Of course, after what happened last time, few would want to get involved; and Azula backed out and refused to help at all.
Zirin sighed, shoving away her tray. "I thought she would try, but no. Besides, sometimes the things she says don't make sense."
Hana's face contorted, but she composed herself; only her eyes betrayed her anger. "Curse her. This is all her fault, it's the reason why…" She shuddered and gulped. "...Helping is the least that she could do. You have to keep trying. We need that expert trapper; we won't be able to deal with all those birds on our own." The loss of their friends weigh heavily on all of them, even more so on herself. I led them all into danger willingly. And like a fool, I didn't act when I suspected something was up. I have to make this right.
"I'll try to find a way around it; you try to do your thing. We need to stop the plague, cure them all, unless–"
"Time's up! You know the drill: sit still until your caretakers get you, then form an orderly line." They came first for her, as Hana nodded subtly. Zirin knew what to do: just endure one more search, and that would be it for the day. The guard that walked past her earlier was behind her with another. They weren't her usual escort. She tried to turn but was pushed onward. Something was off; maybe they were onto her.
"Hey, you're–"
"Keep on walking, filth." Nothing was right. She froze as a guard looked at her with venomous eyes, aggressively searching her.
A half-formed smirk crept on the guard's lips as she waved a shiv in her face. "What's this, huh? Planning to cut our throats like you did our friends?"
Her eyes widened in shock. "That's not mine! I don't kn–" The punch to her face almost blacked her out. They restrained her, pushing her towards one of the wards. The nurse stood in shock, looking at Zirin, dumbfounded.
"Shut up! Take her."
She struggled to turn to the nurse, who backed away in fear. "Wait! Nurse! That's not mine! y–"
The guard looked at her like a jackal-cobra and nabbed her by her ponytail as the others held her arms. Amidst kicks and curses, they dragged her to an empty room. She struggled pointlessly only to be kicked in the gut. Two men kept her propped up holding her arms tightly as the woman stood in front of her. "Think you are going to get off easy? Oh no, you'll get to stay here a while. You're gonna suffer like they did, every day." the guard's voice cracked, and her eyes glimmered.
Out of breath, Zirin looked at her. "...I didn't–"
She slapped her and held her up by her hair. "Shut up! See here?" The guard held two drawings in her hand of two young men. One looked like the woman, with the same face but sharper eyes. She couldn't even focus on the other one before she pulled them away. "You killed them; and you are still here like nothing's happened, even get to eat, sleep, breathe the same air we do. That doesn't seem right, don't you agree? Don't worry; you'll pay for it in full. And you're going to feel every second of it."
The guard's first hit left her breathless, then it descended into a one-sided brawl of rage and vindictiveness, full of punching, stomping, kicking, and even spitting. The only thought she had was pain. She lost track of time, only saw red, couldn't breathe or think, began to choke on her own blood; then the hits stopped.
The woman smiled darkly down at her. "Not so fast; haven't even started yet. Take her to stitch her up again. We'll have time for her later."
"What do we write in the report?"
"She fell down some stairs. …Even if we don't, who's gonna care?" The woman spat on her face and walked away.
As they dragged her like a carcass, Zirin was too bruised to cry, too bloodied to groan. Her battered body felt like it was about to fall apart. They dropped her, and she stared blankly at the ceiling, the blurry shade of a face looked over her as she closed her eyes.
Notes: Hope you enjoyed the latest chapter or "act" now, the chapters have grown so long that we decided it would be best to split them, the other chapters will be updated to reflect that change too.
In other news I'm happy to announce we're going to be working on some art for the fic, already have some of it prepared, any links to the art content will be posted, until next time!
