Chapter 6 - Broken
Marinette had barely made it into her room and detransformed when there was a soft thump on her balcony, which she knew would be Chat Noir. She looked up at her window as he stood over it, raising his hand like he was going to knock before pulling away, chuckling from realizing that it was smashed.
Glowing green eyes flicked to her own blue, and she gave him a soft smile, even though it didn't reach her eyes. He smiled back at her with a soft sigh, perhaps out of relief to see that she was ok.
"Hey, Chat," she breathed once he landed on her floor, the soft thump this time muffled by the plush carpet that covered the floor.
"Hey, Princess." He wrapped her up into a big hug, filled with relief and happiness to find her ok. "I've been worried about you, you know," he admitted after a few moments had passed.
She pulled back a little to look at him, keeping her arms securely around his back. "What? Why?"
"I just worried that maybe people would...make things worse and send you into another spiral. That...maybe you'd hurt yourself again and I wouldn't be here to help you, and that I'd...lose you. I don't want to lose you, princess." His voice sounded choked, like he was going to cry again.
Shit. She'd made him worry over her.
"I didn't mean to make you worry, Chat. I'm so sorry. Please, don't waste your time worrying about me." Her own tears slipped down her cheeks.
She was a monster.
Everyone was right about her.
Lila was right about her.
The horror of such a thought had her wrists aching for the release of scissors making fresh lines bleed across her skin.
"Of course, I worry about you, Marinette. You're my friend and I care about you." He made it sound like it was a foolish thing for her to suggest he didn't worry about her – maybe it was, but he still shouldn't worry for her.
She wasn't worth such a thing.
Marinette didn't answer him, couldn't trust herself to speak without betraying her thoughts. Instead, she nodded like she agreed with him and hid her face in his chest to keep from crying. If it weren't for being ladybug...
She wasn't sure she should finish that thought.
People would probably be better off without her, anyway. All she seemed to do was hurt people, especially now at such a low point in her life.
Maybe she should have gotten the black cat miraculous, instead. All she was good for was destroying things. She didn't deserve the miraculous, and it was so much pressure, so much pain.
She ruined things. People. Everything.
The world would be so much better off without her to reduce it all to ruins.
She didn't want to hurt Chat like that. Didn't want to put him through the grief.
But maybe it didn't matter.
She didn't matter.
He would move on. He would forget her.
And he would be so much better off.
Master Fu would find a new, better Ladybug. Paris would never remember that there was ever a different one. Chat wouldn't remember.
Maybe the new Ladybug could give Chat what she couldn't.
And they would all be better.
"No, I won't." Chat said firmly, gripping her tight as if he could hear her thoughts.
"Yes. I can't hurt you if I'm not around." She said, her voice so small and hopeless.
"It would hurt me more if you weren't there anymore."
"You'd get over it. You don't need me."
The exhaustion, the hopelessness, was setting in. All she wanted was to close her eyes and never wake up. Could the universe be so kind? Maybe if she wished hard enough, her heart would stop and she'd pass peacefully.
So many 'maybes'. So many maybes she wished were absolutes.
"I do need you, don't you ever think otherwise. No matter what happens, ever, you'll always have me."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure." Chat said tenderly, a clawed leather hand reaching up to stroke her hair.
"Promise me, please. You'll never leave me."
"I promise."
She wondered how long it would take for the promise to break just like her heart.
AN: This story is back from hiatus. I apologise for the extended break, I was struggling wifi writers block and wasn't happy with my writing. I've finally pushed through it, and have finished chapter 6. I hope you enjoy it.
